• In an exclusive interview, Blake Fielder-Civil says: "I dragged Amy into it and without me there is no doubt that she would never have gone down that road. I ruined something beautiful." He admits he got Amy Winehouse hooked on heroin, crack cocaine and self-harm. "The first time Amy took crack she asked me, 'Can I try a bit of that.' When I see pictures of Amy and the state she’s in it tears my heart out. I just want to pick her up and help her. But I can’t — because I’m the man who caused it all. It scares me to death that I can’t fix Amy." He also talks about watching her have seizures and why they both cut themselves. [News Of The World]
• Britney Spears was supposed to perform at a club in London, but wouldn't go on stage. Brits are pissed at Brit! [Perez Hilton]
• Britney's on the cover of Glamour, by the by. [Perez Hilton]
• Britney is the number one most-searched-for subject on Yahoo in the UK, bumping Barack Obama to 7th. [Guardian]

• Did you watch Britney's "documentary"? Produced by her manager? Here's the deal: A source says the piece was "a pre-emptive strike" — "Everyone agrees that (father and current financial manager) Jamie's been good for Britney, but there's always the possibility that his best efforts won't work when it comes to letting her have the career she wants, and that shouldn't be pinned on Britney," the source says. "She can't make any decisions. If she fails, she doesn't want it to look like it was her fault." [MSNBC]
• Guy Ritchie wants to buy a pub in NYC so he can spend more time with his kids? Does the Kabbalah in them drive him to drink? [Mirror]
• On the subject of Guy, they're saying his movie, Sherlock Holmes, is "cursed." Robert Downey Jr. was knocked out by an extra — he was out cold and drooling blood — plus, a gas tanked blew up and production was shut down for a few hours. The Mystery of the Ill-Fated Flick! [Perez Hilton]
• Alex Rodriguez had a double-trouble turkey day, visiting his soon-to-be ex-wife and kids for Thanksgiving and then "rushing" to be with Madonna later. [NY Daily News]
• As for Madonna, she's got a lot to be thankful for: Her Sticky & Sweet tour has grossed about $91.5 million in North America. When you add up Europe, she's earned about $207.5 million in ticket sales and could hit $282 million after touring Mexico and South America, making Sticky & Sweet the top-grossing tour ever by a female artist or solo artist. Music: Makes the people come together. [Reuters]
• Madonna has packed up all the presents Guy gave her, taken down pictures of him and erased their joint answering machine message. Moving on! [Mirror]
• And! Now Madonna and A-Rod are in Mexico. [NY Post]
• Travis Barker and DJ Am will perform together for the first time since surviving a fiery plane crash: They'll headline New Year's Nation's Los Angeles New Year's Eve Party at The Lot in West Hollywood, California, and it will be streamed on the Internet. [AP]
• Beyoncé in rehab? Well, she did visit a New York substance abuse charity when preparing for her role in Cadillac Records; she met six African-American women whose lives had been wrecked by heroin. They taught her the "junkie stagger" and "addled rage." Beyoncé says: "I never tried drugs in my life so I didn’t know about it all. It was hard to go to the rehab. I learned a lot about life and myself." [Daily Mail]
• Tina Fey, who never talks about her scar, is on the January cover of Vanity Fair, in which her husband explains that she was slashed when she was 5: "She was in, like, the front yard of her house, and somebody just came up, and she just thought somebody marked her with a pen." Fey doesn't talk about it because "It's impossible to talk about it without somehow seemingly exploiting it," she says. [NY Post]
• Elton John is going to team up with Mark Ronson! [Fox 411]
• Elton's partner David Furnish wears a lock of Elton's baby hair around his neck: "It’s a talisman that makes me feel protected, like I’ve got him with me all the time." [The Sun]
• Rosie Live is dead. [People]
• Hugh Jackman says his dad feels weird about his son being called "The Sexiest Man Alive." "(My dad) said to me, 'I can't really talk to you about being sexy. It's a little weird.' Mind you, I'm still waiting for the birds and the bees pitch from him. That hasn't happened either!" [Daily Express]
• Victoria Beckham is "bonding" with Gordon Ramsay's wife, Tana, amid allegations that Gordon had a "professional mistress." Apparently Posh has advice for Tana — remember when David Beckham was accused of having an affair with his assistant, Rebecca Loos? [Telegraph]
• The Beckhams and the Cruises went on horse-drawn carriage rides through central park! [Page Six]
• Nicole Kidman doesn't have Keith Urban on her iPod. [News.com.au]
• Milla Jovovich, 32, plans to marry for the third time. The groom is Brit director Paul WS Anderson; she previously married actor Shawn Andrews when she was 16 and director Luc Besson when she was 21. This time around, she will not get hitched in Vegas, so as not to "jinx" it. [Daily Express]
• Is Gwyneth Paltrow taking a break from her husband and staying with billionaire Jeff Soffer? [UPI]
• Will Smith on Tom Cruise: "I was so used to competition between other artists that I just didn't get him at first. And then Tom just broke it down to me and said, Will, we are not competing, so don't think that way. That blew my mind because that is not how this business works at all." [Newsweek]
• Tom Cruise has 16 motorcycles, a 1958 Corvette, five airplanes and a new movie, Valkyrie. He says: "You have to take chances, challenge yourself. You can't take movies because you think they're going to be huge hits." [USA Today]
• There's an anti-Scientology book which Amazon stopped selling — is Tom Cruise to blame? [Rush & Molloy]
• Courtney Love is on the cover of the January issue of UK Elle, in which she states: "Baby, if I could get a gastric band I would! I’ve heard it’s a lot of vomiting and a pain in the ass, but it’s still easier than a diet. I did go to see a Hollywood doctor about it. I wasn’t desperate, I just knew I had to do something. He said no. I might have been fat, but I wasn’t that fat. I tried lipo on my stomach after that. It was horrible and it didn’t work." [Daily Mail]
• James Franco says the love scene in Milk was Sean Penn's idea. [Page Six]
• Peaches Geldof and Max Drummey had a fight in a bar, with Max shouting "I'm bored of all this." [The Sun]
• Although… Max and Peaches' dad Bob Geldof "get on well." [Mirror]
• Oooh, fancy: Scout comes out! Scout LaRue Willis and her parents, Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, attended the 18th Paris Haute Couture Bal des Debutants. [Telegraph]
• Andrew Lloyd Webber may be dragged into court over a £6.6million 19th century painting his foundation bought with £1 million of taxpayers' cash. [Telegraph]
• Got $9 million? Leonardo DiCaprio is selling his Malibu house. The bluff-top property is "paparazzi-proof." [People]
• Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr: Not engaged, despite what the Australian media is printing. [People]
• A reporter describes Benicio Del Toro as "the world's sexiest hobo." And Del Toro talks about Che Guevara: "I thought, 'Dammit, this guy is cool-looking!' I thought he looked like a cousin of mine… There was a book of letters he wrote to his family, a collection, and when I started reading that thing, it was like the first time I read Jack Kerouac, you know? It was like this guy, he's my age, in his 20s, and he's writing like a poet. He was writing these great letters - funny, articulate, sarcastic, socially concerned." [Guardian]
• Someone planted a tracking device on Simon Cowell's car. He's bugging out! [Mirror]
• Kate Winslet is nekkid in a flick called The Reader and art critic Charlie Finch thinks the movie trivializes the Holocaust: "What is especially repellent is the use of Kate Winslet's nubile body to create sympathy for a repellent character, whose triumph over illiteracy somehow mitigates unspeakable crimes which are never actually depicted on-screen." [Page Six]
• LOL at Geri Halliwell's dress! [The.Life Files]
• Terry and Harry Gilliam reflect on the problems of being, and having, a famous parent. [Times of London]
• Did you know Steve McQueen was a pilot? [LA Times]
• "I don't know how to be. I mean, I know how to be a lot of things, but I don't know how to be a movie star. I'm trying to learn over time." — Meryl Streep. [LA Times]
• "I never did feel that we were mean to her. We stuck to a lot of things that she herself had said, and I think there is a very strange double standard because it's a woman portraying another woman. The jokes we used to do about George W. Bush were that he was an idiot. The jokes were aggressive. No one would ever stop and say, 'Oh, that seems kind of mean.'" — Tina Fey on playing Sarah Palin, to Barbara Walters. [Page Six]
• "Some people just want to hear a lot of rap lyrics. I'm just trying to make the best music possible. I'll use the advantage of being a rapper to give an urban flavour to pop hits, which is an incredible combination. That chorus to 'Heartbreak' could be a Broadway chorus, it's so classic. In the night, I hear 'em talk, the coldest story ever told, somewhere far along this road he lost his soul, to a woman so heartless - the message is classic. The heartbreak. The Shakespearian tragedy. That's what this is - it's a modern-day tragedy. Devastation. Multiple losses in my life." — Kanye West. [Guardian]
• "I can’t believe I was a fat person for most of my life. I didn’t have surgery and I worked hard. There's no secret. I’m active. I watch what I eat. According to Hollywood standards, I'm not a thin girl. I’m a normal girl. I don’t want to perpetuate that obsession but yet I am also guilty of wanting ... to lose weight." — Ricki Lake. [People]
• "I've heard so many people say, so many times: 'You're this year's It Girl!' And I'm like, 'You said that to me in 2001 and 2004.'" — Zooey Deschanel in Complex. [Page Six]
• "I've shown my ass in other movies. That scene in particular felt a little weird. It's one thing if everybody is naked. It's another thing if everyone is in suits and you're the naked guy." — James Franco on being nude in Milk. [Newsweek]
• "Well, that's good. I'm sure there are red-headed websites that are claiming me, and people above a certain height. It's all fine. I'm friend not foe. One man's polyamory - is that the word? - is another man's being really, really good friends with the co-parent of one's children while we're both in other relationships. I don't think that's so strange. But maybe it is - and that would be really sad." — Tilda Swinton, on the news that she's named on polyamory websites, as an inspiring example for the multi-partner lifestyle. [Independent]
• "I think kids do best when they only have a couple of things that they really enjoy. I try and stay away from the gluttony of things. They don't appreciate it as much. When they only get one or two things they really like it." — Reese Witherspoon, who "sets limits" on what her kids get for Christmas. [People]
• "I was a brunette before I met Manson. She’s the last person I would want to be like." — Evan Rachel Wood, on the gossip that she's been copying Marilyn Manson's ex, Dita Von Teese. [Times of London]

[Venice, November 24. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Hollywood, October 18. Image via x17.

[LAX, October 4. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[London, September 26. Image via Flynet]

[London, September 9. Image via Flynet]

[New York, August 20. Image via INF]

• Screenwriter Kurt Wimmer is rewriting the script of a spy thriller called Edwin A. Salt: It was supposed to star Tom Cruise and now Angelina Jolie is replacing him. Oh, and Angie will also star in an adaptation of the Ayn Rand novel Atlas Shrugged. Next, Angelina will adopt Suri. Unstoppable. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Uh, apparently Angelina Jolie and porn star Tera Patrick have an e-mail relationship? And have been talking about who should play Catwoman in the next Batman movie? [Page Six]
• Nikki Blonksy's dad, who's been locked up in a Turks and Caicos jail for over a week, has just been released. He's due to appear in court on August 19 at 9:00 a.m. [ET]
• Carl Blonsky can't leave the island because authorities have his travel documents. [TMZ]
• Um, this report says Carl is back in New York. [Page Six]
• Jake Gyllenhaal is "all bulked up and 'bear' chested for his role in the fantasy flick Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time." No, really, He looks like Conan. [E!]
• Director Malcolm Lee heard about the deaths of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes and was in shock: They're both in his film Soul Men, which opens November 14. "It had to be some sort of bad dream that these two giants would die on the same weekend, and both would be in my movie." Lee says that Mac would entertain the crew and bystanders between takes. "He said, 'These people made me what I am,' " Lee says. "He said that if it weren't for the fans of his stand-up comedy, he wouldn't have the career he had." Samuel L. Jackson is also in the film. [USA Today]

• Hayden Panettiere's dad, Alan is out on bail after getting arrested for allegedly hitting Hayden's mom, Lesley. Something went down after that Whaleman Foundation event: Alan and Lesley were seen fighting after the dinner. It seems to have continued when they got home: Authorities say that Alan struck Lesley one or two times on the cheek, causing bruising. Alcohol was involved. [People]
• Alan Panettiere is known as "Skip." He's apparently known for having a temper and "coming down hard" on his family. A source says that once, Skip was watching Hayden's little brother Jansen play baseball: "He went postal on Jansen because he wasn't pitching right," the eyewitness recalled. "He got nutty. He was yelling and screaming at his kid in front of everyone. He was really pissed off and was really negative." [Yahoo News]
• People who paid $2,500 to attend a benefit in the Hamptons are not happy that featured guest Gwyneth Paltrow didn't mingle with the riff raff. [Rush & Molloy]
• Madonna "longs" to adopt another child from Malawi, preferably a girl, to be a sister for David Banda. [Mirror]
• Mariah Carey says she does one thing very well: "Dance." As for singing? "Oh, that’s business." [Fox News]
• Kelly Rowland threw a party in St. Tropez on Friday — Bono attended — and the bash had a £196,230 ($372,150) bar bill. What did you do this weekend? [Mirror]
• Geri "Ginger Spice" Halliwell looks effing awesome in a bikini on the cover of Hello!. She says: "People think I'm really confident but I do get self-conscious like many women about stripping off in public. I haven't been willingly photographed in a bikini for seven years — and I don't think I'll do it again." [Daily Mail]
• Orlando Bloom will star in a film about life in the Bosnian capital Sarajevo during the 1992-95 siege. Change of pace from swashbuckling blockbusters. [Reuters]
• Blind item! "What publisher and man-about-town may have had a liaison with Rielle Hunter, the woman who had an affair with John Edwards and a relationship with his pal Jay McInerney? He's told friends they were 'in bed for a week.'" [Rush & Molloy]
• High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens has been sued for $5 million by a former producer. Her dad called the dude a "predator." Hollywood sleaze? [Hollywood Reporter]
• Britney Spears did a sit-down interview and photo shoot with OK! magazine. Remember the earlier encounter, when her dog defiled a Zac Posen dress? [MSNBC]
• Oh, here's that promo for the MTV Video Music Awards starring Russell Brand, Britney Spears and an elephant. Russell's accent! [People]
• A number of disability groups want a boycott of Tropic Thunder, because of its portrayal of the mentally ill. Ben Stiller says: "It's sort of edgy territory, but we felt that as long as the focus was on the actors who were trying to do something to be taken seriously that's going too far or wrong, that was where the humor would come from. [The joke is on] actors reaching for roles in terms of hopefully winning awards." [Perez Hilton]
• Balthazar Getty met Sienna Miller's parents, then Sienna and Balt had lunch with Jerry Bruckheimer in Malibu. [Mirror]
• Dr. Phil and his wife Robin were recently arguing so loud that their Beverly Hills neighbors could hear. Now the house is quiet because they seem to have moved out… Did they go in separate directions? [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Coming soon: The Witches Of Eastwick TV show! Quick: Name a perfect cast. We need a redhead, a blonde and a Cher. [Ain't It Cool]
• Joss Stone is recording a theme song for Barack Obama's presidential campaign. Supposedly he approached her because of her "cross-racial appeal." But, um, she's British? [Times Of London]
• "Wild child Pixie Geldof turns to meditation and friends when she's feeling low." [Mirror]
• Another lender is after Ed McMahon for cash. [E!]
• Mia Tyler has called off her engagement. Maybe you didn't know she was engaged. [ONTD]
• Jason Statham showed up at the Playboy Mansion in a bathrobe, where Jon Lovitz was taking pictures of his face next to ladies' bare bottoms. Classy! [Page Six]
• Gossip Girl gossip! Michael Kors was seen with the cast at a NYC venue filming a fashion show scene! [Page Six]
• A martial arts school owner and fitness trainer in England is suing Tito Jackson, who allegedly borrowed $24,000 but only paid back $17,000. In other news, Tito Jackson still exists. [UPI]
• This story of Sean Connery's life is kind of amazing — once known as Tommy Connery, he dated Lana Turner and had Johnny Stompanato wave a gun in his face. [Daily Mail]
• "After a party in [Daniel Zelman's] apartment, I sat with him till 3:30 a.m. talking about the weather. Finally I said, 'Um, I guess I'm going to go.' I put on my polyester tiger-print swing coat and said, 'Will you kiss me?' 'Oh, gosh,' he said. 'I don't know.' I tried to be cool and said, 'It's just a kiss. I'm not asking you to marry me.' He said, 'No matter how interested we are in each other, we're so different, it will never work.' Cut to ten years later — we're married." —Debra Messing. [Reader's Digest]
• "I don’t think I am beautiful. I can look good, and I can look ugly." — Penelope Cruz. [MSNBC]
• "I'M COMPETING IN THE GAMES!!! EXCLUSIVE CHAMPION VIDEO!!!" — Kanye West. The video is pretty awesome. [KanyeUnivercity]

• Lindsay Lohan will appear on SIX EPISODES of Ugly Betty, including the season finale. LL will play an old classmate of Betty's who is down on her luck. Naomi Campbell, Christian Siriano, Victoria Beckham and now Lindsay? It's official: Ugly Betty is the new Love Boat. [TMZ]
  
• Oooh, Lindsay's mugshot is being used in a drunk driving ad. [Reuters]
  
• Courtney Love was in the hospital over the weekend; homegirl has strep throat! Stay away. (Not that you needed a warning.) [Mirror]
  
• Thirty guests attended Jamie Lynn Spears's baby shower in Kentwood, LA on Saturday and big sis Britney was one of them. The ladies sat in a circle and opened gifts and nothing scandalous happened, yawn. [People]
  
• Britney hadn't been in her hometown since early 2007. Bet she misses some Southern cooking. [People]
  
• Miley Cyrus appeared at the Disney Channel Games concert Saturday night and thanked fans, saying: "Thank you guys for all your support. Without you, none of this would be possible. I love every one of you and I could not be more appreciative. God bless you." Then she took her top off. Kidding! [People]

• Boo! Amy Winehouse has backed out of recording the theme for the new James Bond flick because she's not ready to work. Also: Nothing rhymes with Quantum of Solace. [Variety]
• But! Amy will duet with Pete Doherty at a gig at Royal Albert Hall. Which sounds um, healthy? [Mirror]
• The nanny who is accusing Rob Lowe of sexual harassment also babysits for Shanna Moakler, whom you may know from the MTV show Meet The Barkers, as she is Travis Barker's ex-wife. [People]
• Oscar nominee Judy Davis is suing a Sydney newspaper over an article that implies she is a child-hating selfish hypocrite. The thing is, she doesn't want floodlights on a soccer field near her waterfront home. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Dina Lohan to Jill Zarin of The Real Housewives of New York: "I don't watch TV. Especially reality shows." Haha bet you will when yours starts airing! [Rush & Molloy]
• Kim Kardashian: Seen going for a laser cellulite treatment... With camera crews in tow, of course! A butt that famous needs lots of attention and tender loving care. [Rush & Molloy]
• Blind item! "Which newly minted TV star is a pushover who already looks ready for rehab? At an L.A. party, the actor was mocked into doing a bunch of shots, despite protesting numerous times that he had to drive that night." [Rush & Molloy]
• Lily Allen spent £300 at a nail salon last week but neglected to tip her technician, tsk tsk! [Mirror]
• Sean "Diddy" Combs was honored with a star on the Walk of Fame in Hollywood on Friday; his mom, kids and baby mama Kim Porter were all in attendance — and dressed to match. [Concrete Loop]
• Avril Lavigne has laryngitis and has canceled or postponed most of her tour. Get a refund, people! [People]
• Dinner with Erykah Badu is up for auction! The proceeds go to the African American Museum in Dallas. [UPI]
• Gary Dourdan is "embarrassed" about his arrest situation. But the luggage in his car with all the drugs wasn't his and the reason he pulled over and cops found him sleeping in his car was because he didn't want to drive while drunk. So there's that. [People]
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes gave the Beckhams a wine tasting trip to Napa Valley for their birthday; Seal and Heidi Klum and Kate Beckinsale and Len Wiseman also came along. Hot couples wandering through the grapevines? Sounds like the opening scene of a very classy porn film. [Mirror]
• A woman is scheduled to testify at R. Kelly's upcoming child pornography trial, and will reveal that she had a threesome with R. and the allegedly underage girl in the infamous video. Wait, wouldn't that be a crime, too? Oh, the woman was also underage when she had the threesome. Great. And by great I mean awful. [TMZ]
• A Sting charity concert was meant to raise money for the rain forests, but less than half of the show's profits actually went to the cause. "What are they doing with the money?" the Better Business Bureau asked. Good question. [UPI]
• Orlando Bloom: Seen out drinking sake with a buddy instead of attending a fashion show where his girlfriend Miranda Kerr was in the front row. [News.com.au]
• Elle Macpherson is moving from London to her homeland of Australia. [News.com.au]
• Country star Gretchen Wilson, 34, passed her GED exam in April and will don a cap and gown and finally graduate from high school on May 15. Better late than ever! [AP]
• "I came to grips with my bum. Before, I always tied a shirt around my waist when I went for a run. It was ridiculous. I finally told myself, 'I'm not doing this anymore — I have nothing to hide.' I've got some curves, I've got a bubble butt, but I don't mind, because it's what powers me forward when I run." — Elisabeth Hasselebeck. [Page Six]
• "Unfortunately for certain media outlets, you will never be able 2 'Michael Jackson' me. That means 2 make it seem like everything I do is so weird or out of place... they always try 2 make it seem like everything is about my ego! That joke is getting old. At a certain point you have 2 respect that I'm one of the last artist that still cares about the fans having the best time of there lives!" —Kanye West. [Perez Hilton]
• Iron Man made $100 million? This country confuses me. [E!]

[New York, April 16. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[On the set of "New York I Love You," April 14. Image via Splash.]

• Is there a Heath Ledger love child? When Heath was 17, he dated a 25-year-old woman who gave birth to a baby girl after the relationship ended. [People]
  
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were married in the French Quarter Wedding Chapel on Saturday. [Star]
  
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt did not get married and were not even in New Orleans. They were in Texas, where Brad is shooting a film. [People]
  
• Sarah Jessica Parker's 5-year-old son James is an Obama supporter. [People]
  
• Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake Incarcerated, was attacked by fellow inmates in prison because they were convinced he had a secret stash of heroin. Blake has failed three drug tests while in Pentonville Prison and spends a lot of time in solitary confinement. [ONTD]
  

• Meanwhile, sources say Amy Winehouse's new album has lyrics that are so dark and bleak it's like "suicidal music." Looking forward to it! [The Sun]
• Hayden Panettiere was presented with an activism award from the Humane Society for protesting dolphin slaughter in Japan. Hayden says, "As an actress, you always dream of getting awards like the Golden Globe award, but I never expected to get an award that is this special and important to me as this." The dolphins say, "Eeeee iiaaaa iiiiaaa." [People]
• Kathie Lee Gifford has joined the cast of the Today show. Actual IM exchange: Dodai: EW EW EW EW. Anna: I KNOW. UUUUUGGGGH. [Today]
• Lindsay Lohan: Black to blonde. [E!]
• Kate Moss has taken her daughter Lila Grace to Disneyland! [Mirror]
• American Idol castoff Frenchie Davis will undergo surgery to remove a vocal cord polyp. Be well! [AP]
• Orlando Bloom and Harrison Ford were among those slimed at the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards. [Mirror]
• Tyra Banks hosted the first Annual Fiercee Awards on Friday. The awards honor the women of America's Next Top Model and will air on April 30th. Yeah, you read that right. Fiercee. With two Es. [Concrete Loop]
• Will Smith's kids are freakin' cute. [Concrete Loop]
• Rapper Papoose is engaged to rapper Remy Ma and they plan to get married despite the fact that Remy Ma is facing a maximum sentence of 25 years in prison. The couple will be married in the prison chapel. Love knows no boundaries! [The.Life Files]
• Rod Stewart's 27-year-old son Sean has been hanging out with a 19-year-old Hollywood girl named Caleigh and seems to have stolen her car. Classy. [Page Six]
• Rod Stewart may be leaving England to move to L.A. because it's "a better place to bring up the children." Hahahaha. [Telegraph]
• Is Ashlee Simpson not doing Saturday Night Live this year because the show doesn't want her back after her 2004 lip sync kerfluffle? Or because her schedule doesn't allow it? [Page Six]
• Jamie Spears thinks daughter Britney should abandon music for a TV career, since How I Met Your Mother got such high ratings. Good idea? [Page Six]
• Meanwhile PETA is offering Britney Spears a job as a receptionist. Not a joke. [MSNBC]
• And Madonna wants to save Britney. [AP]
• Double trouble: Are Mary-Kate and Ashley feuding over their fortune? [MSNBC]
• Oh, and Madonna has earned millions with her new album, Hard Candy, even though it hasn't dropped yet: Tracks are being used in ads with major companies like Vodafone, Unilever and Fuji. We are living in a material world. [Telegraph]
• Not-so-blind item! "Which hip-hop mogul likes to practice nude yoga in a Chelsea gym steam room? His "pathetic" manhood has driven more than a few onlookers into fits of laughter." [Rush & Molloy]
• A fire at author Tom Clancy's Maryland home caused $10,000 worth of damage. A plot from one of his books? [TMZ]
• Rapper Tone Loc will play shows at two Detroit-area bars that were scammed out of money by a man posing as his manager. [AP]
• Ashley Dupre has been asked to join Donald Trump's new reality show which is based on the British series Ladette To Lady. The program, to air on MTV, will attempt to teach ladylike manners to 15 party girls. [UPI]
• Pete Doherty was seen out and about with his old flame, Nadine Roddy. Oh, and she's a Scientologist. [Mirror]
• Heather Mills will be a judge in the Miss USA pageant on April 11, joining such qualified luminaries as Joey Fatone and Rob Schneider. [Yahoo News]
• Johnny Depp is making tons of friends and fans in Crown Point, Indiana, where he shook lots of hands and signed hundreds of autographs after shooting a film. [UPI]
• Eddie Van Halen's son says his dad is doing great despite his undisclosed medical condition. [People]
• Biggest Loser contestants Amy and Marty tied the knot Saturday in Charleston, S.C. Congrats! [People]
• Jack Klugman is suing NBC for profits from Quincy, M.E. — a problem with a contract he signed in 1976. [AP]
• Chris Brown on Rihanna: "We're not in a relationship or anything." Yeah yeah yeah sure sure. [Yahoo New]
• Ooh cute picture of Lily Allen as a kid! [The Sun]
• Food Network star Giada De Laurentiis gave birth to a baby girl on Saturday: Jade Marie De Laurentiis Thompson. [People]

• Amy Winehouse arrived at Pentonville prison for a visit with the hubs wearing a puffy heart-shaped pin that read "Blake." Unfortunately, she was turned away, because she was late and visiting hours were over. These tears dry on their own. [The Sun]
  
• Rikki Rockett of Poison was arrested on a rape warrant as he stepped off of a flight from New Zealand at LAX on Monday. Can Bret Michaels stop frenching blow-up dolls long enough to help an old friend out? [TMZ]
  
• Grey's Anatomy hottie Justin Chambers speaks out about his sleep disorder: "It's a biological sleep disorder. Your mind keeps racing, and your body is tired. It wants to go to sleep, but it can't." Hmm, maybe that's why he has 5 kids? [People]
  
• "I'm not sure I can sing 'Holiday' or 'Like A Virgin' ever again. I just can't. Unless somebody paid me like $30 million or something. [Like if] some Russian guy wants me to come to the wedding he's going to have to a 17-year-old." —Madonna. [People]

• Madonna was also heard bitching about traffic congestion charges in London, LOL. [Mirror]
• Oh, and Madonna is on the cover of the new "green" issue of Vanity Fair, looking like she will fucking eat you for breakfast. [The.Life Files]
• Have Kate Moss and Jamie Hince set a date? A source says they'll get married in September. [The Sun]
• Heath Ledger's will has been released. The 2003 document leaves 50% of his assets to his sisters and the rest to his parents. [TMZ]
• Britney Spears is on a health kick and has been having colon cleaning sessions at a Beverly Hills clinic, TMI!!! [Mirror]
• Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale: Hoping Gwen's unborn will be a girl! Harajuku girl, hollaback girl, just a girl, etc. [Mirror]
• Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom: Seen having dinner, oooh. [Page Six]
• Dancing With The Stars Karina Smirnoff: Dating Mario Lopez? Or R&B singer Mario? Or both? [Page Six]
• Hillary and Bill Clinton are in the new Martin Scorsese Rolling Stones movie, rocking out. [Rush & Molloy]
• The Hills resident dude Brody Jenner was kicked out of a Los Angeles club for grabbing a bottle of vodka from behind the bar when he wasn't served fast enough and then squirting lemon in the bartender's eyes. Asshole. [Rush & Molloy]
• Rapper T.I. pleaded guilty to federal weapons possessions charges and will spend one year in prison, sigh. Still like his cheekbones. [TMZ]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were both in Vegas this week, but stayed in different hotels. You know, it used to feel like, she's an idiot for being with that douche; now it's like, naw, they deserve each other. [People]
• Will Ivana Trump and her 24-years-younger fiancé, Rossano Rubicondi, stop fighting long enough to get married on April 12? He nearly got arrested during a domestic disturbance last week. But OK! magazine has the rights to the wedding pix, so they'd better say I do even if they don't. [Page Six]
• Pete Doherty is into Scientology now? For the love of Xenu. [The Sun]
• Paris Hilton was a judge in the Miss Turkey pageant in Istanbul, and honestly, it hurts to think of her as representing us internationally. But anyway here's video of her bellydancing, sigh. [People]
• Counting Crows singer Adam Duritz has been battling severe depression and mental illness. Not to make light of the situation but a haircut might help. [People]
• Celine Dion has postponed a series of Australian concerts due to a throat infection — but her heart will go on! [Reuters]
• Tom Cruise joining the cast of the upcoming J.J. Abrams Star trek movie? No. [MSNBC]
• But! Tom Cruise is trying to get back in the game: He dined with onetime nemesis Sumner Redstone of Viacom yesterday. [WSJ]
• Is Jessica Simpson secretly married to Tony Romo? Or is her mom just effing with us? [News.com.au]
• Actress Morgan Fairchild is campaigning to raise awareness about the warning signs of a stroke. [UPI]
• There's some weird (Czech?) rumor that Kylie Minogue will announce her engagement to Olivier Martinez at a concert on May 12. [PopDirt]
• Tina Fey! Spilling about what's next on 30 Rock! "Both of Liz's former boyfriends, Dennis the Beeper King [Dean Winters] and Floyd [Jason Sudeikis] will be back briefly. And Liz does have a little bit of a pregnancy scare. She probably hooks up once every seven years, yet when it rains, it pours. We have a storyline coming up where Jack tries to enlist Tracy to be the new black face of the Republican Party." All this and more! [LA Times]

[Beverly Hills, March 20. Image via x17]

• Halle Berry's baby has 3 nurseries in different homes, all done in all whites, neutrals and organics. Cost? $60K. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• And ooh, Halle Berry's baby will learn to speak French! Because her daddy is from Quebec! Très mignon! [People]
  
• A Snoop Dogg quote, presented without comment: "How many ugly women selling records? None! Only the pretty ones sell records — Beyoncé, Mary J. The ugly ones just be singing their little hearts out but don't get no sales. You beautiful on the inside, baby." [Mirror]
  
• Amy Winehouse will get $1 million to sing at a party thrown by George Clooney and Julia Roberts and hosted by Giorgio Armani. That kind of cash buys a lot of eyeliner. [Mirror]

• George Clooney is not, as previously reported, Nicole Kidman's baby's godfather. He is still hot, however. [MSNBC]
• George Clooney is also not returning to ER. [People]
• "Spies" at the Food Network say Nigella Lawson has gained weight. "The result is a butt like a Budweiser horse," a source says. "Her director is now doing back flips to not show her below the waist." Here's an idea: Shut the fuck up. No one talks about Mario Batali's ass. [Page Six]
• Britney's father got permission from a judge to sell some of Brit's cars. Maybe she'll trade her convertible for a kid-friendly mini van? [TMZ]
• Britney on How I Met Your Mother: "Can we have sex and then go shopping?" [People]
• Miley Cyrus is legally changing her name from Destiny Hope Cyrus to her famous nickname. (Dad used to call her smiley when she was a kid; somehow it morphed into Miley.) [TMZ]
• Christian Bale speaks about his Dark Knight costar, Heath Ledger, who played the Joker. "Heath was a joy," Christian tells EW.com. "What was so great to see with Heath is just how seriously he took [his work]. And we don't mean in any way to sound sort of pretentious with that, but just in the fact that if we don't take it seriously, then how can any audience ever take it seriously? And he did one hell of a job." [ET]
• Is Madonna moving to New York without hubby Guy Ritchie? Her rep says no. If not, why do these rumors persist? [Page Six]
• Oh wait, everything's fine: Madonna and Guy have game nights in which they play Scrabble. Triple word score! [Mirror]
• Some 35-year-old music manager Lindsay Lohan's been hanging out with was arrested over the weekend as a suspect in sexual assaults involving two 16-year-old girls. Shall we judge her by the company she keeps? [Page Six]
• Lindsay's grandfather is losing his battle with colon cancer. [E!]
• Diddy is denying a report that his associates were responsible for the shooting death of Tupac Shakur. "The story is a lie," Sean Combs says. "It is beyond ridiculous and completely false." [Yahoo News]
• Orlando Bloom has dropped out of a Nick Hornby movie due to scheduling conflicts. [Reuters]
• Did "oil heir" Brandon Davis make a scene at Lauren Conrad's fashion show in which he was "screaming and yelling and waving around a bag of white powder"??? [Page Six]
• Will Smith is denying that the Church of Scientology has recruited him and his wife. Says Legend: "I am a Christian. I am a student of all religions. And I respect all people and all paths." [Rush & Molloy]
• Soleil Moon Frye gave birth to a second daughter, Jagger Joseph Blue Goldberg. [People]
• Is Paul Newman okay? He's been seen at a cancer treatment center. But he says he's being treated for "athlete's foot and hair loss." [Mirror]
• Ian Ziering has LOTS of big ideas for the 90210 spinoff: "Rush Sanders gets together with Nat and Willie, the chef from the Peach Pit, and they throw a burger syndicate. Mrs. Teasley, the Beverly Hills High School principal, finally gets the affair she's always wanted with David Silver when his sexless affair with Donna Martin falls apart. Kelly Taylor champions the cause of the embarrassed wife when she punches Brandon across the jaw during a live news conference just as he resigns from public office for having gay footsie sex with high priced hookers smoking a cigar. Dylan never recovers from the loss of his beautiful wife. Having done enough drugs to sedate a small village, his mind snaps forever more only speaking and rhyming couplets that can be incredibly insightful but mostly are just freakish and bizarre... Brenda's back and she's supernova hot. In her Christian Louboutin pumps, she is imbued with attitude that's only attained through social climbing of Europe's social elite. Andrea Zuckerman invented the social networking website called "MyFace". She gets herself ranked in the fortune 200. She buys every child a home of everyone in school who ever made her feel bad, and she turns those homes into half way houses for wayward teens..." [Perez Hilton]
• Click if you care to see Mischa Barton topless. [The Sun]

• Ali Lohan tells Teen Vogue: "I grew up watching Lindsay. It made me want to do what she does. Just the whole vibe. Being there, being on camera, or onstage, with everybody listening to you... It's so cool when people look up to you. I've already been asked for my autograph and it's just a really good feeling to have." Oh, no! Isn't there a difference between a creative artist who craves expression and a fame whore? [People]
  
• Where were Brad and Angelina on Oscar night? At home, relaxing. Basking in their collective hotness, probably. [People]
  
• Angelina will have her baby in France and it's a girl, if you believe this UK paper. [The Sun]
  
• John Krasinski and Rashida Jones: It's so on. [ONTD]
  
• Mile high club! Rhys Ifans and Sienna Miller got frisky on a flight from L.A. to London: Rhys took off his top and jumped half-naked into Sienna's fold-out bed. [Mirror]
  
• Madonna to other prospective jurors at jury duty: "I'm gonna tell [the court] I'm an unemployed mom." [Page Six]
  
• Madonna's new album (and her final CD with Warner Bros.) is titled Hard Candy and drops April 29. Can't wait to taste it! [Yahoo News]

• Will Diablo Cody celebrate her Oscar win by getting a tattoo of Ellen Page's face? [Page Six]
• Lunch with Anderson Cooper! Being auctioned off! Blue blue eyes included! [Page Six]
• Mischa Barton has been charged with four misdemeanor counts following her December 27th arrest: DUI, blood alcohol level of .08% or higher, driving without a license and possession of marijuana. She's due in court February 28. Where is superlawyer Sandy Cohen when you need him? [TMZ]
• Pamela Anderson is looking an annul her marriage to Rick Salomon, citing fraud. Wait, what? [TMZ]
• Neverland Ranch is under foreclosure! The property will be put up for public sale unless Michael Jackson comes up with the $24,525,906.61 he owes. Anyone want to loan MJ some cash? [TMZ]
• Gary Busey being verbally abusive to an 11-year-old girl? Sigh. [Perez Hilton]
• Britney went shopping in Beverly Hills, all hell broke loose, she was ticketed for parking in the red zone, etc. [TMZ]
• A federal judge has thrown Britney's conservatorship case back to state court, saying it's not a federal issue. Duh. Also: The lawyer in the case was not even hired by Brit, but she may have to pay $40,000 in fees. WTF. [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Britney's boyfriend (are they still together?) went to some Oscar gift suites for free shit. [MSNBC]
• Is there beef between George Clooney and Jennifer Aniston? She is his buddy's ex... [MSNBC]
• Oooh, Orlando Bloom has a crush on Aniston. Remember when they were photographed hanging out on the beach in Mexico together? So does he! [Daily Mail]
• The photographer who sued a newspaper for accusing him of hounding Nicole Kidman has been handed a large legal bill, and the judge says the photog was clearly intrusive and threatening. [AP]
• Ewan McGregor is the new face of Davidoff's Adventure fragrance. Smells like full frontal! [UPI]
• Bobby Brown will not face criminal charges after cops found cocaine in his possession: He'll do community service, which Bobby says he wanted to do anyway. He's going to mentor young people. Good luck to those kids! [Yahoo News]
• Benji Madden is totes into Paris Hilton: He gave her a ring from Tiffany & Co. and is telling friends "she's the one." [MSNBC]
• Amy Winehouse: All scratched up. [Mirror]
• Amy also has a "weird" new tattoo on her back: An eagle with a stars and stripes ankh. [Daily Mail]
• Crap, is Amy back on drugs? [The Sun]
• Tilda Swinton on living with her 29-year-old "sweetheart" and the 68-year-old father of her children: "I think it's extraordinary that we're all really close friends." [News.com.au]
• James Marsden is being honored by the Tourette Syndrome Association, a charity he supports. [UPI]
• Academy Awards producer Gil Cates says leaving Whoopi Goldberg out of the host montage "was an absolute oversight." He claims: "No harm was intended, and I feel very, very badly that she was left out." [People]
• Blind item! "Which U.S. senator, currently applying for another job, slipped on the waxed marble floors rushing to a vote and inadvertently grabbed both breasts of a female Capitol police officer, according to a story she's been telling around the Hill?" [Gatecrasher]
• Marc Anthony's ex-wife, Dayanara Torres, is penning a book: Married to Me: How Committing to Myself Led to Triumph After Divorce. Dirty details about being wed to Marc sure to come. [Page Six]
• Dumbledore is into polyamory. [Page Six]
• Gwen Stefani looks like a crazy Harlequin on the cover of V magazine. [The.Life Files]
• Is Naomi Campbell dating Gerard Butler??????? [The Sun]

• Avril Lavigne is pregnant! Maybe! [News.com.au]
  
• Janet Jackson has been asking designers like Badgley Mischka for bridal gown samples! Is she going to marry that gremlin Jermaine Dupri? [Page Six]
  
• Janet poses as brother Michael from Off The Wall on the new cover of Vibe. [Concrete Loop]
  
• Oooooh, George Clooney on the cover of Time! [The.Life. Files]
  
• Is it a girl for Minnie Driver? She was seen buying girly baby clothes from J. Crew and talking about her pregnancy. [Page Six]
  
• Pink says her divorce is not about cheating, anger or fighting. She writes on her Web site: "One never knows the future, but mine and Carey's just might involve beach babies and sunshine one day. Just not right now." [People]

• Spencer Pratt is trying to get himself and Heidi Montag a reality show of their very own, awww. And when meeting with producers, Spence does all the talking; Heidi's not allowed to open her mouth. Romantic! [Page Six]
• Milo Ventimiglia on when people gossip about his relationship with Hayden Panettiere: "It makes me smile." [People]
• In Las Vegas, Victoria Gotti and anti-fur actress Marsha Thomason, aka "Naomi" from Lost, got into a loud squabble over Gotti's fur coat. It'd be a lot more interesting if they were both more famous, but whatevs. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which pop diva goes to great lengths to keep her entire body glowing? When she spray-tans, she demands her nether regions get the treatment as well." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which producer who's well known for his voracious appetite for women has a funny modus operandi? He asks actresses seeking roles to come up to his hotel suite, then excuses himself to go use the restroom and comes back wearing only a robe?" [Page Six]
• The LAPD is investigating whether Sam Lutfi drugged Britney Spears. Several witnesses have been interviewed regarding the drugs in Brit's system when she was most recently committed. [TMZ]
• A judge doesn't think Britney's conservatorship needs to be a federal case. No shit. [TMZ]
• Brit's dad Jamie doesn't want the case transferred to federal court either. [People]
• Britney's driving-without-a-license case was put on hold because her lawyers do not think she is "qualified or capable" to deal with it right now. [CNN]
• Two paparazzi were arrested while trying to photograph Britney Spears at a hair salon; two others were arrested outside a nightclub as the LAPD cracks down on photogs obstructing traffic and causing chaos. Two of the snappers were from TMZ. [USA Today]
• Amy Winehouse was reportedly "fantastic" at the Brit Awards, yay for her! [Mirror]
• Angelina Jolie took Maddox to see The Spiderwick Chronicles yesterday. Damn, he's cute. [TMZ]
• Is Jack Black's new movie plagiarized from a Nickelodeon skit? [Perez Hilton]
• Pauly Shore is countersuing his neighbor, movie director Wes Craven, for "slope failure," landslides etc. Backyard horror story, haha. [E!]
• Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown is joining the team of Access Hollywood as guest correspondent? That could be fun. [UPI]
• Meanwhile, Geri "Ginger Spice" Halliwell is going to Capitol Hill today as a goodwill ambassador for the United Nations Population Fund, a development agency that focuses on women's reproductive health. Colors of the world! [U.S. News & World Report]
• Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr on beau Orlando Bloom: "He's a sweetheart." [People]
• Vincent D'Onofrio has a new baby boy! Luca was born on Valentine's Day. [USA Today]
• The Directors Guild of America has approved a contract deal that helped pave the way for the settlement in the writers' strike. [Reuters]
• Sylvester Stallone is willing to testify in the trial of Anthony Pellicano, who's accuse of tapping the star's phone. [USA Today]
• Paula Abdul thinks her new video is so bad, she's "trying to pretend like it didn't happen." LOL! [MSNBC]
• Jessica Simpson's movie, Blonde Ambition, is No. 1 in Ukraine. First of all, Ukrainians, please don't think that she — or this film — represents all Americans. Secondly, why? Why? Third... going back to bed. [People]
• Wait! Is this Shia LaBeouf's amazingly buff body or a photo manipulation? Also: Bulge??? [ONTD]

• Dina Lohan says Lindsay's nude pix were "very tastefully done." She adds: "I respect the photographer as an artist, so I look at them artistically. For him to call Lindsay 46 years later and to say can you recreate these photos is an honor... I don't look at them like it's Playboy; she was being a character. I wouldn't have sent my 14-year-old to the set [if the shoot was in bad taste]. And obviously Lindsay wouldn't do anything with her sister there, that was risqué." [People]
  
• Jennifer Lopez has checked into the maternity ward at North Shore University Hospital. Repeat: Jennifer Lopez is in the building. Twins to come! [Page Six]
  
• Matthew McConaughey's unborn baby: It's a boy! A future surfer dude, fer sure. [Gatecrasher]
  
• Has Jennifer Aniston found love on the set of her new film? A source says she and costar Aaron Eckhart are superclose. [MSNBC]
  
• Britney Spears has a new lawyer, who went to court yesterday to see about visitation: No changes were made and Britney still cannot see her children. Sources say K-Fed wants Britney to have some visitation rights; plus Brit's Dad Jaime was hoping to create a stable environment — but the court said no. For now. [TMZ]

• FedEx's lawyer agrees that Jamie Spears being around is a positive step. [People]
• Meanwhile, Britney is back to her old no-underwear ways. [ONTD]
• Get a whiff of this: Britney's perfume made £13 million in the celeb section of the market in the UK. The sweet smell of success! [Mirror]
• Uh, is Britney pregnant?!?!? [Mirror]
• As reported yesterday, Pink and Carey Hart are getting divorced. Pink's rep says, "While the marriage is over, their friendship has never been stronger." Sources say they had an agreement about "extramarital sports" but she changed her mind when she began to think about kids. Truth? Or cover up for lesbian leanings? [Rush & Molloy]
• Oh, this report says Pink and Carey's careers are to blame. [TMZ]
• Did Nicolas Cage wrongly write of $3.3 million in personal expenses? He's filed a tax court lawsuit disputing $814,000 in taxes and penalties. Watch out, Nic: The IRS is scary. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which DUI-ed director/actor - goes this ridiculous but too-good-not-to-share story doing the rounds in Hollywood - wears a fake nose to avoid being recognized in public? It is said he lends it to his closeted actor buddy, who wears it when trawling for men." [Gatecrasher]
• Hayden Christensen on his stint as Anakin/Darth Vader: "It's not why you become an actor, to do stuff like that." [Rush & Molloy]
• Bobby Brown was in court yesterday regarding a cocaine possession charge from last year. The decision could take a few days, but apparently Bobby asked troopers who came to his hotel room and found drugs to "use discretion" and not charge him. Haha, what? [TMZ]
• Orlando Bloom and Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr: It's on. [TMZ]
• She's no longer with Jenny Craig, so Kirstie Alley is developing her own weight-loss brand. Coming in 2009! [People]
• Owen Wilson will go back to work: He's starring in Marley & Me, a comedy (based on the book) about a writer and his dog. Filming begins in Miami in March, sweet. [People]
• Nicole Kidman wants to make more kid-friendly films, yawn. [People]
• Scary Movie actress Anna Faris: Divorced. [People]
• Scarlett Johansson doesn't have a new tattoo, it's some kind of wacky temporary bullcrap. [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse didn't show up for an award show rehearsal on Monday because she was distraught over learning hubby Blake was trading her picture for heroin. Sing it out, Amy! [The Sun]
• One of her cute-ass backup singers says Amy Winehouse is "full of energy, full of life." Also, she's been wearing a drawn teardrop on her face "because her baby's incarcerated." She'll wear it until he gets out. [People]
• Meanwhile, Kelly Osbourne has offered "wonderful support" to Amy in her battle with drugs, sez Amy's dad. [Mirror]
• Pete Doherty won't model unless you pay him £30,000. LOL. [The Sun]
• Was Elizabeth Hurley paying her Indian maid "slave wages"??? Violet D'Souza claims she was getting as little as £1.20 an hour and working 60 to 70 hours a week. Violet was set to make a case against Liz and her hubby, but they offered her a five-figure settlement. Liz is worth about £13 million and hubs Arun Nayar comes from a wealthy Indian family. [Mirror]
• A photographer who was injured when he was knocked down outside a jewelry store after trying to snap pix of 50 Cent has been awarded a settlement. Maybe Fiddy threw him some bling? [Page Six]
• 50 Cent's son and Eminem's daughter. Hugging. OMG. [The.Life Files]

[Los Angeles, January 8. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Los Angeles, December 26. Image via Flynet]

[Hollywood, November 14. Images via x17]

[Los Angeles, October 29. Image via FlyNet.]

• Lindsay Lohan's new guy was engaged... until his fiancée, Bree, found out he was dating Lindsay by seeing the tabloid pictures. It's like, hey, will you marry me? Unless I meet a movie star in rehab? [Gatecrasher]
  
• Ellen may have cried on TV over the dog she gave away, but behind the scenes her publicist is leaving threatening voicemails. Shit is getting serious! [Page Six]
  
• But maybe the problem is that the microchip information in the dog was never changed? It's still registered to Mutts and Moms, the adoption organization. [TMZ]
  
• Meanwhile, the owners of Mutts and Moms have received voice mail and email threats of death and arson. But they refuse to be "bullied around." They have a rule that families with children under 14 are not allowed to adopt small dogs, and Ellen's hairdresser's daughters are 11 and 12. [CBS News]

• The LAPD is investigating Orlando Bloom's car crash last week — the woman in the back seat suffered a fractured neck. Orlando says an SUV with paparazzi cut him off, but he was never given a field sobriety test. Uh-oh! Are we gonna have to call him Orlando Booze? [TMZ]
• Today's Britney news: She was photographed wearing a jacket emblazoned with the words "Fuck Off Lover Boy." Are you beginning to suspect she has no internal monologue? [Daily Mail]
• Former *NSync member Lance Bass came out to Britney Spears before he told many of his other friends he was gay... The night of her first wedding. They haven't spoken since. [Page Six]
• Halle Berry is planning on eco-friendly diapers and an organic nursery. [People]
• Jon Voight, who his estranged from children Angelina Jolie and James Haven, issued a statement telling his kids he loves them. Sigh. [People]
• Francis Ford Coppola thinks Robert De Niro, Jack Nicholson and Al Pacino are all rich and lazy now. [Rush & Molloy]
• Gabrielle Union has a girlcrush on Eva Mendes. Someone should put them in a movie together! We would watch! [Rush & Molloy, 2nd item]
• Kate Hudson went to her 10-year high school reunion in Santa Monica and mingled with the plebes. [ONTD]
• American Idol alum Fantasia, in a bikini, just because. [The.Life Files]
• The chapel where Elizabeth Hurley's union to husband Arun Nayar was blessed didn't charge the couple the usual £1,000 to meet costs — assuming that a larger donation would be made later. So far they've gotten nothing. The couple is supposedly planning to donate cushions to kneel on but the parish treasurer says they'd rather have cash, they have bills to pay. Jesus. [The Independent]
• Kate Moss recently partied with Naomi Campbell until 5 a.m. Just like old times! [The Sun]
• Paris Hilton has dumped Swedish tourist slash model Alex Vaggo, maybe because he is too shy. Although not too shy to pose shirtless for last week's Life & Style. He looked good, btw. [The Sun]

• Britney Spears finally got a California driver's license, y'all! Well, an interim license. The real one comes in the mail. This is what we call progress. [People]
  
• In addition, Britney is "very optimistic" that she will get her kids back after she completes the judge's checklist. Hey, there's power in positive thinking, right? [People]
  
• Ugh, wait a minute: Did Britney have sex with some random guy while she was on vacation in Hawaii? And did he tape it? Christ. [MSNBC, 2nd item]
  
• Here's the deal with Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom: They have the same manager, who got married in Mexico over the weekend. They both attended the wedding and "they just gravitated to each other," says a source. [MSNBC]
  
• Brad Pitt swears he's not a copycat when it comes to Angelina Jolie. In Parade magazine he says he's offended when people say his charity work is result of being with Angie. "That's idiotic," he says. "I do it because I'm a member of the human race." Also because next to her, you look bad doing nothing. [Page Six]

• Tory Burch and Lance Armstrong: Dunzo. Did anyone else sort of forget they were even dating? [Page Six]
• Leonardo DiCaprio's Israeli model girlfriend Bar Refaeli dodged her country's mandatory military service. "Why is it good to die for one's country?" she says to an Israeli paper. "Isn't it better to live in New York?" [Page Six]
• The rumored Eva Longoria sex tape is actually a short video parody for Will Ferrell's comedy site funnyordie.com. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which Emmy- winning actor with a bad reputation has been blackballed by several important NYC publicists after his diva behavior at a major Fashion Week event?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
• John Mayer couldn't buy stuff at Circuit City in Santa Monica because he lost his ID. [Rush & Molloy, 3rd item]
• A naked guy broke into Nicolas Cage's house and put on one of Nic's leather jackets. Cool-as-a-cucumber Nic asked him to remove the jacket, escorted him outside and called a security guard. [Reuters]
• What is up with Perez Hilton's face? [Perez Hilton]
• Howard K. Stern has filed a $60 million lawsuit against the author and publisher of Blonde Ambition, the book that alleges he and Larry Birkhead were lovers. Ster