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original swim

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original swim

Isn't The Swimsuit Just Inherently Evil?

There are few garments I loathe more than the swimsuit. I don't really like going in water, or getting sand in my crotch, or getting urinary tract infections from the sand and sweat and chlorinated water in my crotch, or being reminded of how unforgivably white my skin is, or how inexplicably tan everyone else managed to get (WTF?), or what imminent cancer feels like. HOWEVER. There's a story about the return of retro swimsuits in today's Times that rips off an Observer article of a fortnight ago that reminded me of the real reason I dislike swimsuits: they are inherently terrible. I mean, here I was, looking at some of these pictures, thinking, "Hey, maybe I could rock one of these things!", and nodding along to lines like "Then again, this is precisely the costume required by the lazy-skinny girl of the moment, the one who eschews Equinox for Spanx, just like grandma," when I realized, Holy shit, did I just almost endorse the swimsuit worn by Annette Funicello in Beach Blanket Bingo; kill me now. More »

2:00 PM on Thu May 15 2008
By Moe
9,720 views, 181 comments

Latest by n/a: somewhat unrelated, but i recently came to the realization that this bathing suit combination does not exist: -tankini -thick shoulder straps -underwire -not fucking ugly (colors, prints, etc) i can only find three of the four, always. actually, thats a lie. i've found a more »