Who's to say that some teen girls just like oral sex? In fact, who's to say what the reasons are behind anything a teen girl does...other than the girl herself? Also, if this is such a huge problem in high schools, as Dr. Phil leads us to believe, then why is it only being addressed in relation to girls? The boys are the ones supposedly paying to get their dicks sucked. So they literally get off with impunity on this?

Also, what the fuck is wrong with oral sex? You can't get pregnant and the chances of catching a disease is much slimmer. But the thing that really made me angry was when Dr. Phil was going over the statistics from the CDC about teens (both boys and girls) and sex, saying, "These girls, 38% of them are not using any kind of protection." Actually, the statistic is, "38% of sexually active teens do not use a condom." Nothing was mentioned specifically about girls in that category.

The show was basically all about "protecting our girls," a sentiment that I pretty much hate when it's applied to situations like these, because it completely takes away the agency of teen girls when it comes to the decisions they make with their own bodies. Maybe we should "protect our girls" by not assuming that they're whores because they're engaging in sexual activity. Maybe we should "protect our girls" by teaching boys to respect them. Maybe we should "protect our girls" by properly educating them about sex.

This last clip is just laughable. Dr. Phil insists that teens are actually having sex on prom dance floors, because this lady—who recently chaperoned her first one—never heard of a song by Next called "Too Close."

In fact, about 37 percent of women consider oral sex "sex" — and 63 percent of them don't. Men are more likely to consider oral sex to be "sex." Different people consider different things "cheating" — just look at Mark Sanford, who said yesterday he'd not had sex with anyone else but had danced with other women when married men ought not do that.

To a degree, it's probably partly generational — I first realized that other people's definitions of what constitutes "sex" differed from mine in 1998 when I blurted out in class that Clinton hadn't "had sex" with Monica Lewinsky, it was just oral. Suffice it to say, I got some pretty interesting looks from some of my more conservative classmates... and my professor. In his mind, Clinton had, indeed, "had sex" with Monica Lewinsky; in my mind, "sex" was vaginal or anal penetration, and fellatio and cunnilingus didn't "count."

My gay friends schooled me on this point as well. While one professed to be saving his ass for marriage (literally), he didn't consider himself to not be having sex when going down on men; my lesbian pals wondered aloud what the hell kind of terrible oral sex I was having by comparison that I didn't consider it "sex." Yet, somehow, I continued, for a while, to consider oral pleasures less intimate than penetrative sex and, therefore, not "sex." And if surveys are correct, I was not alone — hell, if all the stories about people engaging in anal sex to avoid virginity loss is true, it appears that even the definitions of my teenage years have gotten a bit... stretched.

Looking back on it, though, it's all rather a lot of self-justification based on a desire to engage in sexual activity (and give and receive sexual pleasure) and the rampant, heteronormative concept that "actual" sex involves a penis penetrating a vagina. It seems, to me, to be tied up quite nicely in Jessica Valenti's concept of the "purity myth" in which virginity and so-called Godly sex is mythologized and fetishized to a point where there is no sex in our minds but that which could result in procreation — regardless of the similar health risks of oral sex and the intimacy involved in performing it... or engaging in anal penetration.

And, granted, one doesn't need to get graphic with people who are overly curious about the status of physical intimacy in relationships, but we ought to start asking ourselves why we're defining other forms of physical intimacy that even go by the name "sex" (oral sex, anal sex) as "not sex" in order to differentiate between them and vaginal intercourse. Because, at the end of the day, doing so is buying into some pretty traditional and heteronormative concepts about what "sex" ought to be, and from what acts "real" intimacy can stem.

Americans Not Explicit When Defining What Sex Is [Associated Press]

Earlier: The Purity Myth's Jessica Valenti Talks Virginity, Weddings & Miss California

(Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this episode, Rich and I answer gay-related questions about skin tags, prison rape, and foreign accents. Got a burning question? Send it to potpsych@jezebel.com. Or to Twitter. If we remember to check it, we'll answer those, too.

How Do Gay Men Feel About Vaginas? from Pot Psychology on Vimeo.

A study from the Karolinska Institute found that subjects with the human papillomavirus in their mouths are more likely to get tonsil cancer. It takes 20 to 30 years for an HPV infection to result in cancer, so those who are sick today were infected in the '70s and '80s. Of 120 patients in the city who got the cancer between 2003 and 2007, at least 83 were HPV-positive. Doctors hope that the new HPV vaccine will help reduce the rate of tonsil cancer, especially because the disease has almost no symptoms and often goes untreated until it spreads to the lymph nodes. Researcher Tina Dalianis says if people "have a lump in their throat, especially if it's on one side and it doesn't go away with antibiotics, they should see a doctor." [USA Today]

[Image via Flickr.]

Writing in The Daily Beast, Hannah Seligson reports on an "orgasm gap" between men and women. Researchers found that while women in relationships orgasm 80% as often as men. In repeated hookups (more than twice), women come half as often, and on first-time hookups the percentage drops to a third. But it's not because ladies need love and security in order to get off. Instead, it's because dudes just aren't trying that hard.

Men are less likely to perform oral sex as part of a hookup than when they're in a relationship, and they may be less likely to care about the woman's orgasm in general. In interviews conducted as part of the study, one guy said "that with his girlfriend, 'definitely oral is really important [for her to orgasm],' but that with a casual hookup, 'I don't give a shit.'" Another man said:

Now that I'm in a relationship, I think [her orgasm is] actually pretty important. More important than [in a] hookup. Because you have more invested in that person…When it's a hookup you feel less investment.

When did making a girl come become "boyfriend experience," some kind of special thing you do only for somebody you also take home to mom? And when you have sex, aren't you making an investment, an investment of time, energy, and risk? When you're a guy, you expect that investment to pay off with your orgasm. Shouldn't the woman get a return on her investment too? Seligson quotes Michael Kimmel, author of Guyland, who compares sex to housework: "Men don't pull their weight on either front because no one makes them." So we need to make them — just as faking an orgasm is bad for womankind, letting your hookup get away with sexual selfishness just teaches him that's ok. Everybody's different, and not everyone is going to come every time, but if we go to the trouble of fucking a guy (and as much fun as it is, it totally is a lot of trouble), we deserve better than "I don't give a shit."

The Orgasm Gap [Daily Beast]

Earlier: Stop Faking Orgasms For The Good Of Your Sisters

A woman in Louisiana is poisoning men by making them smell "cologne samples." Must have been Axe body spray. • Olympics audience restrictions! Lip gloss, fountain pens, and sunscreen are limited. Do they want the spectators to get melanoma? • Rich people can afford full-time nannies, but 80% of nannies don't have health insurance. From what I remember, all of Fran Vine's doctor/therapy needs were covered! • A 77-year-old grandmother pinned down a rabid fox after it attacked her, resulting in surgery and four days rest at the hospital. • An 18-year-old woman attacked her boyfriend with a toilet seat after she found him smoking crack in their bathroom. • An award-winning program in England for female prisoners who were victims of abuse at home has been shut down by the government. • Spinach Artichoke Chicken Lean Pockets have been recalled after the company received consumer complaints of grossness. • Post-menopausal hormones to alleviate painful sex do not help a significant amount of sufferers. •

Related: Full size female advertisement [Coloribus]
Full size male advertisement [Coloribus]

[Ad via Vintage Ads.]

I lost my virginity at 17, and had oral sex in the months leading up to that, and I definitely considered myself a virgin until that Saturday morning my boyfriend half fit his ween into me for the two and a half minute commercial break during a Real World marathon. Lemme tell you, the licking was so much better than the sticking. But it's like that for most girls, right? So if our first go at vaginal intercourse is kinda whatevs, then why do we consider it the event?

PSST - ASK YOUR KID ABOUT S-E-X [NY Post]

If you want to change grouches to grins — give that man of yours Del Monte Pineapple Juice. Cater to his fondness for flavor. Men like the rich, ripe taste of this juice — the definite pineapple flavor it has. They like its freshness—the bracing refreshment it always brings. You'll know how extra good this juice must be!

We would just like to add that we eat pineapples for breakfast everyday (and we drink up the juice), so if there are any non-gay fellas reading this, holla at your girlz.
Ad: How Would You Like To Put This Smile On Your Husbands Face? (Dec, 1936) [Modern Mechanix]

• Does she not have enough money already? Oprah Winfrey is opening her own store. [Hollywood Reporter]
  
• The Bush Administration has been subpoenaed for illegal wiretapping. The moment we heard this we called our mom and screamed with joy — because if anyone's being wiretapped it's us. [BBC]
  
• 1/3 of the Jezebel Administration has been subpoenaed for legal Paris Hilton/Larry King liveblogging. See you guys in two hours.
  
• Little Bindi Irwin makes like dad and plays with dangerous animals fearlessly, lovingly. [USA Today]
  
• The case of the now-21-year old who had consensual oral sex at age 17 has been denied bail for his 10-year sentence. We hate to say it, but we think this is what institutionalized racism smells like. [CNN]

• TV star/presidential candidate Fred Thompson has earned the endorsements of all of his former girlfriends. Hmm. Would our former boyfriends would do the same for us. Boys? Care to comment? [TMZ]
• We love bad TV (more on obsessions with Age of Love and Hannah Montana tomorrow!), but even we shudder at the thought of this newest reality program. [ABC News]
• You gotta love a baby hippo! [Discovery]
• 3 U.S. casualties identified today. [DoD]