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Do Sexy Profile Pictures, Previous Abuse Make Girls Online Targets?

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mariamariamaria
05/26/09

In reply to Do Sexy Profile Pictures, Previous Abuse Make Girls Online Targets?
Oy vey. Easy Solution: monitor your children's internet activity. Not because you don't trust them, but because the world full of creepy (or mean) jerks. Yes, they'll have to deal with jerks on their own eventually, but I'd rather they do that once they're older and better equipped to deal.
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CHIC NOIR
05/26/09

In reply to Do Sexy Profile Pictures, Previous Abuse Make Girls Online Targets?
At times it's very frustrating to me as a woman but men are very sexual by nature. some more so than others and a small number are freakish in nature when it comes to sex. I blame the rise of the more perverted sexual behavior of some men on the "deviant porn"* available today.

* no pun or oxymoron intended.
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clevernamehere
05/26/09

@CHIC NOIR: I'm not really convinced that men are more sexual by nature, but even if they are it doesn't excuse this bullshit.

Men aren't animals, they can control their urges.
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CHIC NOIR
05/26/09

@clevernamehere: I agree with you clevernamehere. I don't like when random lonely read non pervert men contact me online but I'm not angry with them because I know men like/desire women moreso than we do them.

@amowlsMen are socialized to act more sexual, women are made to suppress it
I can agree with this but I wonder how many women would sleep with a different man every day if society didn't frown on it. I'm willing to bet that more men than women would take on such an endeavor if social mores were equal for the sexes.
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Shamrockette
05/26/09

@CHIC NOIR: Oh you'd be surprised at that belief. Women are just as sexual as men, but we can't express it without having labels slapped on us.
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Rare Affinity
05/26/09

In reply to Do Sexy Profile Pictures, Previous Abuse Make Girls Online Targets?
I find it useful to have men make inappropriate sexual comments BEFORE I have met up with them or given them my real name. I think ALL women can find themselves targeted by sexua lowlives onine regardless of their avatars. Perhaps the difference is that the self confident female will tell the guy to take a hike in no uncertain terms. The less confident and more vulnerable, including those who have been abused, would probably find it harder to shrug off such incidents.
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brinkswomanship
05/26/09

In reply to Do Sexy Profile Pictures, Previous Abuse Make Girls Online Targets?
I am a little confused. So, there are two separate and unrelated situations that increase the likelihood of experiencing online sexual advances - one is having previously suffered abuse, and one is the style of avatar chosen. Is that correct? In that case I am wondering how having previously suffered abuse tends to increase someone's likelihood of being hit on online? Is it the language they use? The sites they visit? There must be something that differentiates the groups, abused and non-abused, in some way as to create a statistically significant difference in online sexual advances. They have presented the article confusingly with the additional avatar choice option. Unless they are trying to say that having suffered abuse leads you to choose a style of avatar, but I don't *think* that's what they're saying?
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clevernamehere
05/26/09

@brinkswomanship: From the article "They found that girls are more likely to experience online sexual advances or have offline encounters if they have previously been abused or have a provocative avatar."
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brinkswomanship
05/26/09

@clevernamehere: Yes, that makes it sound like there are two separate risk factors - abuse and avatars. I'm just wondering in what way predators online can tell if someone has been abused.
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BytheSea
11/05/09

@brinkswomanship: Precocious sexuality is a sign of sexual abuse. If an 11 year old is talking like a trucker and describing things in porn, she learned it somewhere.

#onlinepredators
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greengrey
05/26/09

In reply to Do Sexy Profile Pictures, Previous Abuse Make Girls Online Targets?
A new study shows that sexual predators will make girls targets. No one "makes" themselves a target.

I think having a vagina is the thing that makes men target them.
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AthertonMerriweather
05/26/09

@greengrey: You don't think that girls who pose in their bra and undies making kissy faces at the camera make themselves targets? I'm not saying they're asking for trouble, but there are pictures that are going to attract a certain type of person and most people are aware of that fact.
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greengrey
05/26/09

@AthertonMerriweather: But without the "sexy" pictures you still get harassed.

I guess we could even say just having A picture, or identifying your sex, makes you a target?
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AthertonMerriweather
05/26/09

@greengrey: I agree. I had a picture of myself standing next to a lighthouse (not sexy at all) on my myspace and was still harassed. However, I didn't respond to any of the harassers. I think most girls know better than to get themselves into these situations, but I guess the ones who are vulnerable and at low points in their lives are most at risk.
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kithkin
05/26/09

@greengrey: I think most kids know how to use the Internet, and I think most kids know that posting sexualized pictures is going to get sexual attention.

There really isn't anything wrong, I don't think, with a 15 or 16 year old making kissy faces or whatever and putting that as her profile picture on myspace. Kids just know what is and isn't appropriate, and they can tell when someone is a creep or when someone is a sixteen-year-old schoolmate who wants to see her boobs. The first kind of attention is squicky; the latter is flattering for some girls.

I think AthertonMerriweather is absolutely right in saying that people, including teenagers, are aware of what they're getting into when posting suggestive pictures. Maybe not in terms of patriarchal coercion into fitting into some strange mold of what is "sexy," but on a basic level definitely yes.
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MizJenkins
05/26/09

@AthertonMerriweather: I'll say it then...they're asking for trouble. This should be filed under 'No Shit Studies' IMO.
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greengrey
05/26/09

@MizJenkins: If you're asking for trouble when you look sexy online, are you asking for trouble when you dress sexy in real life?
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AthertonMerriweather
05/26/09

@greengrey: If you walk around making kissy faces at men, pulling your shirt down to show your cleavage or rubbing your ass like some of these girls do in their photos...yes.
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MizJenkins
05/26/09

@greengrey: You're asking for the kind of attention that comes with dressing sexy in either situation.

Not that the attention isn't gross and inexcusable, but it's damn sure predictable.
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clevernamehere
05/26/09

In reply to Do Sexy Profile Pictures, Previous Abuse Make Girls Online Targets?
Outside of Facebook, I don't put up pictures of myself online.

I'm always really surprised by the number of women who choose to put up pictures of themselves or faceless body shots (i.e. tits that may or may not be theirs). I really don't need the grief of people telling me how much they'd like to screw me or getting pissed at me and taking potshots at my looks.

I've used this avatar a few places and one of the funniest thing is the number of guys who have thought it was a digitally altered picture of me when in fact it is the Venus de Milo. The reason I came up with it in the first place is I was tired of people thinking I was a dude and thought this said "I'm a girl" without encouraging come-ons.
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Snowbunny
05/26/09

@clevernamehere: Look, babe, I like your look but sometimes you can come off as hard and cold. And your eyes are a little dead. But your abs are rock solid.
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MarissaExplainsItAll
05/26/09

In reply to Do Sexy Profile Pictures, Previous Abuse Make Girls Online Targets?
I MEAN THIS IN GENERALITIES, I AM SURE THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS TO THIS
These poor girls are taught that all they have to offer is their body. Their view is so warped that they think that a good representation of herself is a sexualized picture.
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Snowbunny
05/26/09

In reply to Do Sexy Profile Pictures, Previous Abuse Make Girls Online Targets?
I remember being 14 and using sexy pictures from Google Images in chat rooms. I never would have met anybody, but I was all about the grotesque sexual advances I received. Positive body image would have been very helpful back then.
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HappyHydrozoan is positive disintegration
05/26/09

@Snowbunny: Hah, I did the same thing. It was fun pretending I was an attractive grownup who thought about things like sex. But as soon as anything got too weird, I knew I could just sign off. I guess it's all about how responsible the kid is.
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Snowbunny
05/26/09

@The HappyHydrozoan is learning to deal: True talk.

A couple of years ago I went on and advertised myself as a 14 year old hispanic girl from Florida looking to have sex with an older guy (as a social experiment, I swear) and I got a lot of VERY persistent people. One man actually booked a hotel room for us...three messages in.
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Shamrockette
05/26/09

In reply to Do Sexy Profile Pictures, Previous Abuse Make Girls Online Targets?
You have no idea how many sexual comments I get from guys I meet in forums. And all that's in my profile picture is half my face! No cleavage, no seductive glare, just me smiling.

It really does creep me out, but I know how to shut that shit down quickly. I either report them or I lead them on and humiliate them on the forum, for all to see :D

Why yes, I'm an ice queen bitch.
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MarissaExplainsItAll
05/26/09

@Shamrockette is stickin' to it!: Yeah, you're pic isn't seductive yet attracts that mess...that's why my profile pic on FB shows only part of my face.
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Shamrockette
05/26/09

@MarissaExplainsItAll: So apparently that means I'm not sexual, yet I'm very vunerable?

Well, good thing my new profile pic is a blue spotted narwhal, eating a plate of pancakes and pondering the universe. :D
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greengrey
05/26/09

@Shamrockette is stickin' to it!: Exactly. Just being female is enough to get creepers talking to you. "Sexy" or not.
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valley of unrest ( i say fuck shoes! + periods. )
05/26/09

@greengrey: Exactly. I get random guys trying to add me on FB and my picture is literally none of my face. It's all my hair so I could show my friends the new colour I added in last week.

Weirdos.
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morethanrain
05/26/09

@valley of unrest ( i say fuck shoes! + periods. ): Haha, the funniest thing was when Bettie Page passed away, I put a goofy pic of her in a bikini as my profile pic on FB. I left it up for a while and posted on a friend's wall one day. Within a couple hours I had 2 friend requests from random dudes on that girl's list. One of them was actually listed as engaged (wtf). I thought it was hilarious. If a guy's too dumb to know who Bettie Page is, AND he adds random girls on FB? Dealbreaker. Shut it down.
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CoalMineCanary
05/26/09

@Shamrockette is stickin' to it!: My first MySpace pic showed me in a hoodie holding a Hyancinth macaw with its wings outstretched. Hyacinth macaws are the largest parrot on Earth, so you couldn't see much of me. But weirdos used the parrot as a conversation starter. "So, you and that bird ..." Then I had a picture of nothing but my beloved dog, a pit bull, sitting on the lawn. I got all sorts of requests from shady dog-fighting characters.

I should change my pic to show only my middle finger.
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Bunsen Honeydew
05/26/09

@morethanrain: Hahahahah. That's a deal breaker ladies! Oh 30 Rock.
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mariamariamaria
05/26/09

@CoalMineCanary: GROSS! "Oh yes mister, I do want to exploit my beloved pet in the most heartless and cruel manner - wanna date?!" E-STU-PI-DO
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RedHotz
12/09/08

In reply to
Guess they didn't interview any handicapped women who are also at home as I am online more than the amount of time they list a whole lot more.
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applejuice
12/09/08

In reply to
It's probably due to the piss-poor weather here. It sucks practically year round (up here in Scotland anyway). My theory is it drives the poor souls (myself included) indoors where they watch Jeremy Kyle (BLEUCH! I still can't understand who likes THAT CRAP.) or they surf the interwebs.
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Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
12/09/08

In reply to
No shit. I guess I'm British!
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Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
12/09/08

@Ulookinatmyjunk!?!: Oh wait, but not a housewife...I just work from home.
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Sophie needs to study...damn
12/09/08

@Ulookinatmyjunk!?!: so...you're 'housework'?
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mommy_dearest
12/09/08

In reply to
Ok, so I just read through both things that are linked to, and it says that housewives spend a slightly greater percentage of their free time on the internet than other groups. BUT... it doesn't say how much free tiime each group has, so using a greater percentage doesn't automatically mean spending more time. I mean, we all know housewives are actually lazy leeches, that is a given. But can you link to where it shows the actual amounts of time? Just out of fairness, you know.
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lilydancing
12/09/08

In reply to
more than students?? dude i waste so much time that i should be studying online.... like RIGHT NOW for example!
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PhDork
12/09/08

@lilydancing: I know, right? I think I could have written three dissertations by now if there were no Jez.

Oh crap, am I going to have some crazy "It's a Wonderful Life" experience of a Jezebel-less world now?
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Sophie needs to study...damn
12/09/08

@lilydancing: There's no way they beat students because I spend ALL DAY LONG surfin' this bitch...unless...unless some students actually study during Study Time?

Huh.
/reflects on life
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Scout
12/09/08

In reply to
I spend EXACTLY my two 20 minute breaks and one hour lunch online.....

no really for realz
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