According to an old medical report posted on Discover.com, a 24-year-old woman who arrived at a London hospital, fearing she had a cancerous tumor in her vagina, came to discover that the lump was actually "a parting gesture of affection."
The grossest thing about The Onion's "20,000 Tons Of Pubic Hair Trimmed In Preparation For Valentine's Day" is its use of the word "manscaping" without quotes. Is this just common parlance now? What's next, manties? [Onion]
"Despite their disparate backgrounds, lack of mutual interests, and seemingly insurmountable gap in age, former Miss Kentucky finalist Amber Williams, 26, and multimillionaire real estate mogul Chester R. Williams II, 61, [...] somehow continue to make their marriage work." [Onion]
Ha! "Mary Parise, 89, avoided being committed to an elder-care facility until just last week, when her children discovered her down-home turns of phrase were in fact the senseless ramblings of a senile woman." [Onion]
The Onion is selling gift boxes featuring fake products that will definitely make watching dad open that package of sock you got him more exciting. Who wouldn't want the iFeast, a portable MP3 docking station/pet feeding system or a smoke alarm that wakes you slowly to the gentle sounds of the rain forest?…
According to various sources, George Clooney is looking good. And, says one geneticist, he is only getting better-looking with time. "Unlike most carbon-based organisms," the Princeton scientist notes, "Clooney, with his puppy-dog eyes and salt-and-pepper hair, has aged like a fine wine." A recent poll revealed that…