In Iraq, Dog Lives Are Just As Important As Female Lives. If Not Moreso!

Moe — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 18:00:46 EST

A Blackwater contractor shot and killed a dog belonging to the New York Times. Oh no you heard that right. Of course, upon reading the story it seems that, amazingly enough, it wasn't just some case of abject cruelty perpetrated by some war-dehumanized monster emboldened by the guaranteed impunity made possible by the law vacuum that is mercenary-occupied Iraq! See, the dog was getting the Blackwater bomb-sniffing dogs all riled up while they were out on a sweep for explosives, and the sweep had to continue, and the Blackwater dude tried to get the Times dog to back off but it wouldn't. "It wasn't a dog everyone was close to on the compound," said Times correspondent Alissa Rubin, who says of the State Department, which made two follow-up visits to investigate the shooting. "They were very solicitous and I thought took the incident very seriously." How novel for them!

We were worried those military contractors in Iraq had maybe lost every last shred of their humanity. We were worried there was complete lawlessness. That the State Department had pretty much thrown up its hands at the whole place and left all its investigations of military contractor behavior to be led by a bunch of worthless perverts.

But no. Once again, it's clear they care about something, and that something may not be women, it may not be Iraqi civilians, but it is man's best friend.

And I guess that is something.

OMG They Killed A Puppy [Wonkette]
Earlier: Brave Troops Open Hotel Rwanda Of Puppies

Ever Dated Someone Who Was Licensed To KILL??

Moe — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 15:20:40 EDT

In case you were confused, "Blackwater" is the media's new term for "those dudes whose testosterone oversupply eventually gets everyone in trouble, killed, etc." Just read their "creed," the "Eggnog massacre" was pretty predicable. But here's the thing: deep down you know sensitive thugs all need hugs! We were reminded of this when commenter Stacyinbean emailed us about a voicemail message her roommate had received once from her ex-boyfriend, a hot guy with a "RIDICULOUS body" who wound up being one of those Blackwater guys.

He called one night at 5 AM and left this INSANE 10 minute rambling message about how he was going to die in five years, they were going to send him somewhere he'd never come back from, he kept saying "I've KILLED people, Laura, I've killed people."

So here's our question: how much testosterone can you date?

None of the Jezebels had dated anything approaching the U.S. military, unless Jennie has, which I highly doubt. I dated a guy who owned a gun and went to Iraq and Afghanistan, but as a journalist, so yeah it doesn't really count. Tracie and I have both dated multiple dudes in porn, and I think I made out with an Israeli when I was there though I could have hallucinated that, which would mean I have kissed at least one dude who was technically trained to kill. But what about you?

(Also: I just skimmed this book on Blackwater that I bought back before I was functionally illiterate and there's no mention of the ladies except the ones in the porns they jerk off to. Are there any women mercenaries? Google so we don't have to, thanks!)

Jezebel: once you go blackwater..

In Iraq, Dog Lives Are Just As Important As Female Lives. If Not Moreso!

Ever Dated Someone Who Was Licensed To KILL??