• Madonna is in Brazil, but not to meet Jesus' parents. She says:

"I am going there strictly for fund raising and humanitarian purposes." Her Madgesty is sponsoring a documentary about kids living in the squalid hillside slums. [Page Six]

• Guess who was seeing Heath Ledger when he died? Lindsay Lohan. Her mom, Dina, tells Michael Lohan about it in this — you guessed it — recorded phone conversation. In the audio, Dina says Lindsay "cannot be alone" and sleeps with Dina when she is home because she has fears of being alone. [Radar Online]
• In a newly released 2008 taped phone call between Lindsay Lohan's assistant, Jenni Muro, and Michael Lohan, the former says: "I am trying to save your daughter's life every day." Muro was also pissed she had to relocate to NYC so LL could be on Ugly Betty, saying: "I get a 5% commission on this entire TV show and it's sick and disgusting and I'm here and I give up my boyfriend and my dog and my parents and my new place in LA and everything so that your daughter doesn't kill herself, ok?" [ONTD via Radar]
• A recent Tweet from Lindsay Lohan: "i'm a regular person to.. i sleep, eat, laugh, cry, shower, have blood running through my veins, i have a heart, etc etc- lol" [Twitter]
• People: I have seen a clip of Lady Gaga's new video, "Bad Romance," and there is latex and implied violence and dancing! The full video debuts Monday, and Ms. Gaga says: "There's this one shot in the video where I get kidnapped by supermodels. I'm washing away my sins and they shove vodka down my throat to drug me up before they sell me off to the Russian mafia." In addition, Gaga wears razor-blade sunglasses: "I wanted to design a pair for some of the toughest chicks and some of my girlfriends - don't do this at home! - they used to keep razor blades in the side of their mouths. That tough female spirit is something that I want to project. It's meant to be, 'This is my shield, this is my weapon, this is my inner sense of fame, this is my monster.'" [MTV News]
• Amy Winehouse loves her new boobs and now wants butt implants to get that "pin-up look." [The Sun]
• Joe Halderman — the CBS news producer accused of trying to extort cash from David Letterman — goes to court today for the first hearing in his criminal case. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Joe Halderman's friends are helping him pay his legal bills. [TMZ]
• Justin Timberlake has been dealing with a stalker, and submitted a statement to a judge yesterday which read: "I fear for my personal safety." He called the behavior of woman in question "ever-increasing, aggressive and harassing." [TMZ]
• At the link, James Franco talks about his upcoming stints on 30 Rock and General Hospital. Of doing a soap opera, he says: "It's been a blast so far. It was kind of mind-blowing. I've worked one day on it. It's one day of a few. But I think we packed seven episodes of my material in." He also reveals that he has not worn an eyepatch. Yet. [NY Magazine]
• Oh dear: Tracy Morgan's stand-up show at Carnegie Hall was so crazy, people walked out. And not crazy in the good way — he called homosexuality a choice and joked, "Obama is really changing the White House, because he and Michelle will have the first presidential sex tape out." [Gatecrasher]
• "Dr. Conrad Murray was on the phone with his girlfriend as Michael Jackson was dying." [TMZ]
• Joe Jackson is being meddlesome with the executors of Michael Jackson's will. [CNN]
• Naomi Campbell is going on a month-long, £1 million vacation with boyfriend Vladislav Doronin, and she is calling it a honeymoon, though they're not married. Grain of salt on this one. [The Sun]
• Levi Johnston has Tweeted: "BREAKING NEWS !!!! SNL APPEARANCE THIS SAT… you hear it first !!!" My guess is that he'll be in the news segment, but you never know — we could get a Tina Fey/Sarah Palin appearance! [MSNBC Scoop]
• Levi Johnston is reportedly going to file for joint custody of his son Tripp. [Page Six]
• Ugh. Carrie Prejean's autobiography is out so she is still in the damn spotlight. She claims the Miss California USA pageant director pressured her into getting a boob job. [Radar Online]
• By the by, Carrie Prejean says her "solo sex tape" was the biggest mistake of her life. [TMZ]
• Director Lee Daniels is not pushing for an Oscar for Precious: "It scares me," he says. When he first heard Oscar talk, "I was completely thrown off guard. I was like … Oscar who? Oscar de la Renta?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Actress Emma Thompson's art project takes viewers on 'Journey' of sex slave" [NY Daily News]
• John Travolta has to promote his new flick Old Dogs, even though he is struggling to get by since the death of his son. He says: "
  "We've been working very hard every day as a family to heal. We have our own way of doing it, and it has been helping." [USA Today]
• Congrats to Halle Berry, who will receive the Sherry Lansing Leadership Award at The Hollywood Reporter's 18th annual Women in Entertainment breakfast presented by Lifetime. Past recipients include Barbara Walters, Meryl Streep, Jodie Foster and Glenn Close. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Entourage's Kevin Connolly gambles and hangs with Playmates. [Page Six]
• Donald Trump and Omarosa will be reunited for Omarosa's new dating reality show on TV One, called Omarosa's Ultimate Merger, on which she tries to choose a love interest from a selection of 12 bachelors. [Variety]
• Boo: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has been diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukemia. [People]
• "The only thing worse than Aerosmith with Steven Tyler is Aerosmith without Steven Tyler." [NY Post]
• Hot hottie Jason Lewis — you know, he played hottie Smith Jerrod — has been cast as the lead in a new show called Rio! He'll play an international detective (?!?!) who goes to Brazil to investigate a crime… and decides to stay after enjoying the city, its beaches and nightlife. It's Miami Vice and Magnum PI and maybe even Hawaii 5-0. Also, he's hot. [Page Six]
• Someone spilled a drink on Russell Simmons at a party. [Page Six]
• Twilight's Christian Serratos is getting naked for a PETA ad. She's 19. [Gatecrasher]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Kelly Kapowski is pregnant. [Gatecrasher]
• Whatshisname sued a tabloid magazine and won libel damages. [BBC News]
• "When you hear the phrase 'only in America,' it means something extraordinary, something extreme, something good. But if someone were to say ‘only in Britain,' it would be something damp, miserable, no, not until Wednesday and then it's unlikely." — Stephen Fry is promoting Stephen Fry In America and might come live in the U.S. [Daily Express]
• "If he wanted to go down that road he probably would have done so by now. And I think he is a very solid and faithful person." — Mel Gibson's girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, who has dated Mel and given birth while he's still legally married to his wife of 29 years. [MSNBC]
• "There wasn't going to be any more Juliet, and now there is going to be more Juliet. That's all I can say. I wish I could say more. I don't really like to be so close-lipped, but it kind of just goes with the show." — Lost's Elizabeth Mitchell. [USA Today]
• "How do I still look good? I owe 30 per cent to genes, 30 per cent to good sex, 30 per cent because of sports and healthy lifestyle with proper nutrition and for the remaining 10 per cent – I have to thank my plastic surgeon. I'm 71 and physically don't feel so good since I'm in pain. But I'm happier, the sex is better and I understand life better. I don't want to be young again." — Jane Fonda just had spine surgery, a new knee and hip made of titanium, but she had to get herself repaired because she wants to climb the Himalayas. [Telegraph]
• "I smoke weed, but I don't think it's really a drug. 'It's more of a herb. I don't regret saying that at all. I think everyone smokes weed and people who say they don't are lying! Weed has been given this evil stamp, but how is it dangerous? It's going to make you laugh your arse off? You might go to sleep? I think alcohol is much more harmful. People beat the f**k out of each other on alcohol." — Joss Stone should change her name to Joss Stoned. [Daily Mail]
• "I really enjoy acting. I like being in front of the camera. I think I should be an action star." — Serena Williams, that makes two of us. [NY Daily News]
• "Elevators scare me — just being stuck without phone service when you're alone. Small spaces are fine, if I'm with someone in an elevator fine, but I will not buy an apartment on the 14th floor of a building that's for sure, I've gotta be able to walk. … The unknown is very scary. …I'm scared of a lot of women, certain women because I guess I don't have a lot of confidence in myself, I don't know what it is." — Amanda Seyfried. [Mirror]
• "We're discovering who the enemy are, and I do think we do have an enemy. It means that everyone's got to go on fighting. And in what way you fight, well, it depends who you are… You can write a letter, you can talk about it to your congressperson… you can talk to people in bars… Or you can go on marches, or you can go and break windows." — Sir Ian McKellan on the fight for gay marriage. [Page Six]

• Heidi and Spencer are going to Iraq to "perform" for the troops. And Meghan McCain — John's daughter — may be helping with the travel arrangements. Head. Exploding. [People]
• Omarosa went on Wendy Williams' new talk show Monday and shit got heated. Omarosa didn't like the way Wendy introduced her; when Wendy held Omarosa's book up to the camera, Omarosa snatched it out of Wendy's hand. Omarosa attacked Wendy's appearance, asking whether she'd had a nose job and saying she shouldn't wear wigs. "Omarosa wished her career was my career," Wendy says. "Omarosa is a delusional, D-list, pathetic woman." [Breitbart]
• Ooooh! Video of Omarosa and Wendy! [E!]
• This confusing report seems to hint that Christian Bale's mother and sister have accused him of assault. Say it ain't so. [The Sun]

• Was the Madonna/A-Rod kerfluffle engineered by manager Guy Oseary to give the Yankee a higher profile? [TMZ]
• Is Madonna overdoing it? Apparently, between the A-Rod drama and tour rehearsals, she is anemic, has a knee injury and is "down, physically and mentally." Call a waaamubalnce. [The Sun]
• Peaches Geldof, 19, nearly died from a drug overdose. The daughter of Former Boomtown Rats singer Sir Bob, 56, stopped breathing and was given mouth-to-mouth resuscitation by a pal. The party girl refused to go to the hospital when an ambulance arrived, fearing her dad would find out. Peaches felt well enough to attend the premiere of the Dark Knight the next day. [The Sun]
• Chinese star Tony Leung Chiu-Wai's wedding to Hong Kong actress Carina Lau Kar-ling is causing a "frenzy" in the entertainment news media in Hong Kong. Related: That is one hot couple. [International Herald Tribune]
• A Boston couple denied producers permission to shoot a film in their apartment building because Mel Gibson is in the movie. Ouch! [UPI]
• This blood-covered woman holding a gun is Nicole Richie. No, really! It's a still from her stint in the NBC show Chuck. [EW]
• Look out below! Bill Murray plans to jump out of a plane at the Chicago Air and Water Show next month. [UPI]
• When asked about the historical inaccuracies in The Tudors, Jonathan Rhys Meyers responded thusly: "We're not making a documentary for universities. Having actors with an appealing look is what an audience demands today – especially when there's quite a bit of sexual activity involved." [Telegraph]
• May 29, 2009 — Jay Leno's last day as host of The Tonight Show. [Reuters]
• Denise Richards went to court yesterday and the commissioner denied the majority of her requests regarding her custody battle with Charlie Sheen. It was a closed door hearing so we actually don't know what the hell the requests were. [USA Today]
• Remember back in October when Kid Rock was in a brawl at Waffle House? There's video now. Kid has a bodyguard and some pals, the dude he punched was alone. Seems like the fight was 4 on one…Scattered, smothered, covered, etc. [TMZ]
• Bloc Party frontman Kele Okereke claims he was the recipient of a racist tirade from the Sex Pistols' Johnny Rotten. Rotten, whose real name is John Lydon, denies everything, calls Okereke a liar and says: "Grow up and learn to be a true man." [LiveNews, Guardian]
• Girls Gone Wild mogul Joe Francis pleaded not guilty to tax evasion — he claims he's being targeted by the IRS because of how he makes a living. What's wrong with plying underage girls with alcohol and filming them in the shower? [LA Times]
• Does Miley Cyrus want to "transition" into adulthood with a racy film role? [MSNBC]
• Shanna Moakler vs. Kim Kardashian: Kim turns out to be the classy one in this fight. Imagine that. [Perez Hilton]
• Because Blake Incarcerated has already served most of his 27 month sentence, he should only remain in jail 18 more weeks — Christmas with Amy! [The Sun]
• Holy smokes: Britney left her lighter and cigarettes out on a table and Sean Preston, 2, picked 'em up. Playing with a lighter for 2 seconds might not kill a kid but it's a bad idea, no? [NY Post]
• Oh yes. There are pictures. The kid is holding the lighter. [Egotastic]
• Britney's Britney Spears Foundation has a $200,000 deficit, uh-oh. [Fox News]
• If you're rich, fashionable celebrity, you're in Portofino, Cap D'Antibes or St. Tropez right now. [Page Six]
• Al Reynolds has a new lady and she looks like Star Jones. [Page Six]
• Alec Baldwin: Pissed Diane Sawyer had to reschedule an interview because her husband, Mike Nichols, had heart surgery. [Rush & Molloy]
• Sam and Lindsay were in New York! They were seen on Mulberry street on Friday night and were in the Hamptons over the weekend. [Rush & Molloy]
• Taye Diggs was asked about that N-word debate that brought Elisabeth Hasselbeck to tears. "She doesn’t understand, and, no offense — I don’t think any white person has the right to tell a black person or to even weigh in on subject matter such as that. They don’t know what it’s like to be called that word; they don’t know what it’s like to be black," Diggs says. "They can have an opinion, but… don’t take a word that you created and called me for many, many years, and then me being in my position, have the strength to change what it means in my own culture. Don’t try to take it back now. Now it’s ours. Leave it alone." [Perez Hilton]
• "The breakdown of a marriage is a very difficult and painful experience especially when children are involved. In light of the fact that many pictures have surfaced in print and on the Internet which has caused myself and my family great embarrassment, I felt it necessary to at least acknowledge publicly that yes indeed my wife and I have separated and I will not be commenting any further." — Balthazar Getty. [Yahoo News]

The Good:
A little Van Lear Rose, a little 50's prom, a lot fab. Rihanna's short hair keeps this from going too sweet.
Let's give Terrence Howard the benefit of the doubt and assume that cane's functional, shall we? Because the man looks seriously dapper.
Crystal Alkin's dress is gorge.
I gasped — I did! — when I saw Gabrielle Union's goddessy ensemble.
I'm a sucker for anything 70s-inflected, but even so, this kind of dress can be hard to pull off. I'd argue that BET host Danella does so, in spades.
Khaki suits can be so Men's Wearhouse. It's a pleasure to see it done right, as actor Boris Kodjoe does here.
I don't know how much longer this shape can tough it out, but Alicia Keys shows what it can do.
Maybe I get a vicarious thrill out of seeing people work lemon, since it makes me look like a plague victim. Trina's mini would be adorable in almost any bright, though.
Yeah it's kinda hiked up here, but Jordin Sparks' red number is a classic, classy choice.


The Bad:

From what I've observed, rapper MC Lyte is a pretty reliable red-carpet train-wreck. This is actually one of her better get-ups.
Given my fondness for jumpsuits, I almost gave Keri Hilson's lame iteration a pass. But the thing is, for a js to work there must be NO crotch-pulling. And the photographic evidence cannot be denied.
Ledisi's minidress is woefully unflattering. Nuff said, methinks.
Jennifer Hudson: I get the appeal of a structured dress. I do. But is it necessary for her to be strapped into armor on a weekly basis? It looks so uncomfortable — and doesn't seem to express any of the playfulness that makes her so appealing.
Solange Knowles has clearly inherited great genes, questionable taste.
I'll say this for Omarosa: the woman's consistent.

The Ugly:

If I could choose a superpower, I think it would be mind-reading, if only so I could go inside rapper Jacki O's head and try to figure out what she was thinking when she selected this ensemble.
Rapper Lil Mama: most frightening Strawberry Shortcake interpretation to come down the pipe yet!

Images via Getty

[Los Angeles, June 3. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

The Good:
Short and sparkly looks great on Chandra Wilson.
Kate Walsh: Case in point of why I'm crazy for navy.
Jordin Sparks: The girl next door gets all dressed up — and looks great.
America Ferrera is nothing short of picture perfect.

The Bad:
Will someone please tell me what happened to Jurnee Smollett?
Sydney Poitier's dress just looks dated and tired.
Omarosa: Still fired.
Vanessa Williams' dress could have been great.

The Ugly:
I spy with my bionic eye an Erin Fetherston for Target heart tote bag on the arm of CCH Pounder.
Did Christel Khalil wear her saloon girl Halloween costume on the red carpet?

[All photos via Bauer-Griffin.]