• Michael and Dina Lohan will work together on getting Lindsay Lohan off of pills. Says Michael Lohan. [Radar Online]

• Papa Lohan says of Lindsay: "Her problem is prescription drug use. I've seen pictures of her in Paris, and she looks totally out of it. There are morons hanging around her, and they have their hands on my daughter." [Gatecrasher]
• But! Dina Lohan says: "I don't go — like my ex — on national television and make things up. He's estranged from Lindsay; he doesn't know what's going on in her life. Michael doesn't talk to her. "I've had full custody of all my children for the last 10 years. He has been incarcerated for some of that time, so whatever is going on in Lindsay's personal life is our business. And for him getting paid to say things about her when he's five months behind in child support is wrong." Oh, and re: Ungaro, Dina sniffs: "The critics can say whatever they want, but Lindsay is a genius." [Page Six]
• "Leave Lindsay alone. Let her be a real 23-year-old. Let her grow, and let her artistic abilities flourish. Stop judging the Britneys and the Lindsays. They are very creative girls, and that is a gift from a higher power of God."— Dina Lohan. [Page Six]
• Dr. Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson's personal physician, may face arrest — and could lose his medical license — after missing a late child support hearing. [NY Post]
• "The CBS producer accused of blackmailing David Letterman was convinced the comic king bedded 'six or seven' female staffers, a pal of the newsman said Thursday." [NY Daily News]
• A chimpanzee was supposed to be a guest judge on Dancing With The Stars on Tuesday, but PETA complained. This is not a joke. [NY Post]
• Nicole Kidman has teamed up with Omega watches — she signed watch boxes to benefit the United Nations Development Fund for Women. Fifty percent of the proceeds of the watch sales will go to UNIFEM. [WWD]
• Jon Gosselin didn't leave the twins' birthday party at 6pm — he stayed to put his kids to bed. And he was cordial to Kate. But did not spend the night. [TMZ, People]
• You know how Jon Gosselin brought a misspelled birthday cake (it's "Mady", not "Maddy") to his kids' birthday party? Well it was sort of an insult to Kate, who was making a cake from scratch. [BBC News]
• Mischa Barton was spotted buying rounds of shots for Ryan Ross — formerly of Panic At The Disco; currently in Young Veins. [Gatecrasher]
• Mischa Barton was spotted getting out a cab in front of a bar, yelling "I need a drink!" Been there. [Page Six]
• Uh-oh, Nicolas Cage owes over six million dollars in unpaid taxes. Uncle Sam doesn't like that. [TMZ]
• Dr. Phil is denying that he forced a woman to stare at a naked man and grabbed her breast. [TMZ]
• Hilary Swank walks around naked in front of her boyfriend's son. "You wonder at what age you should stop walking around nude," she admits. "But he doesn't look twice. He doesn't think about it yet." Really? He's 6 years old. [Gatecrasher via Marie Claire]
• Khloe Kardashian will now be known as Khloe Kardashian Odom. Adjust accordingly. [Page Six]
• Robin Williams will do his stand up act, Weapons Of Self Destruction, in NYC in November, his first show since having heart surgery. [NY Daily News]
• LOL: Woody Harrelson gets his zombie punchlines from Paul McCartney. [NY Post]
• Mya's dress split at a party; she used safety pins and staples to cobble it back together. Stars are just like us! [Page Six]
• "The husband of Danielle Staub from "Real Housewives of New Jersey" claims she strait up lied when she called him a rapist and a dog murderer ... and now he's suing her for defamation." [TMZ]
• At the link is a recap and insider report and blow-by-blow account of Jeremy Piven's Broadway drama/Speed-the-Plow meltdown. [NY Times]
• Kylie Minogue will do a residency in Vegas? Makes total sense. [Mirror]
• Speaking of Kylie: her ex-boyfriend Olivier Martinez has accepted undisclosed libel damages over a claim that he had cheated on her during their long-term relationship. The Sun apparently makes stuff up. [The Star]
• Breaking: Audrina Patridge is single and happy. [People]
• Kristen Bell will star as Christina Aguilera's rival in Burlesque, a musical drama about "a small-town girl with a big-town voice who finds love and success in a neo-burlesque club." You guys, Cher plays the club owner. CHER. [Hollywood Reporter]
• On the Wanda Sykes HBO special: "She is… the funniest person in America… Sykes gets the crowd laughing early and keeps them laughing to the end, with no significant down time and no cheap tricks… [It] all builds to a prolonged, brilliant segment on being gay and black that puts a racial spin on every coming-out cliché- making us see both with new eyes." [USA Today]
• "Filmmaker Steven Spielberg, long recognized for his artistic achievements, was honored with the Liberty Medal on Thursday for his compassion and humanitarian work." [AP]
• Parker Posey has joined the cast of Highland Park, a dark comedy with Danny Glover. The film focuses on the high school faculty in a struggling community. In the story, a teacher wins the lottery and uses the cash to restore the local library; the film is actually attempting to help reopen a real library in Detroit. [Hollywood Reporter]
• "Thursday's episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta took a dark turn. Following the news of the death of Anthony "AJ" Jewel outside his Atlanta strip club last week, viewers watched his then-fiancée, Housewife Kandi Burruss, waver about the future of their relationship - awkwardly unaware, as the cameras rolled, that the relationship had no future." [People]
• Isaiah Washington: Still looking for jobs. Sources say it's not because of the Grey's fallout, but because he is difficult to work with. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Gloria Estefan bought 2,000 tickets for her concert in Puerto Rico this weekend and will distribute them via raffle among 17,000 recently laid-off government workers. [AP]
• Gladys Knight is embarking on a farewell tour? Is she taking a midnight train? [Independent]
• "I'm in 'Gay Paris' — I swear as an Englishman that by the time I leave tomorrow it'll be known as 'Hetero Paris.' Or at least Bi Paris." — Russell Brand. [NY Daily News]
• "I was always thinking 'how am I going to keep my old chap in my pants?' But Ayda and me are very loved up – sprogs on the way and all that business. I don't know what will go on down the road, but I don't want to do anything to fuck it up or do anything to upset her." — Robbie Williams on gf Ayda Field. [Telegraph]
• "My dad went into a rant. Farrah came flying at him to defend herself, he blocked her and, in the process, broke her arm. They spun the truth to protect Ryan (but) I was there, I saw it happen." — Griffin O'Neal says his father Ryan O'Neal cheated on Farrah Fawcett and was abusive. [Daily Express]
• "It's obviously very strange, a little mad. Especially the [Audrey] Hepburn comparisons. I mean, that's such a lovely thing to say about the film, and I see it in the Paris montage. But you know, I didn't think about the end product much when I was making it. I just thought, what fun! There's Emma Thompson! I had to fight for this part; I auditioned three times and must have called my agent every day for two months afterwards. I knew it was a special gang going in, but I just thought…oh, I have to play Jenny. Her journey is enormous." — Carey Mulligan on all the buzz her performance in new film An Education is getting, in which she plays "a fiercely intelligent teenage girl living in barely pre-Beatles London." [The Daily Beast]
• "It's fucking weird. I'll be the first to admit that New York is one of the greatest cities in the world. But what you see on screen is not the life we really lead." — Gossip Girl's Penn Badgley, who likes taco stands, not fancy restaurants. [BlackBook]
• "The only expert thing I know about a relationship is that I don't know anything. I think every time I think I know something, obviously you then learn that you don't know anything, but I do know this to be true: I know that men marry women hoping that they will not change, and women marry men hoping that they will change, and inevitably, everyone's disappointed." — Vince Vaughn. [Independent]
• "Younger guys are generally more adventurous, not set in their ways. I don't like guys my age because they are normally either married or divorced and grumpy, fat and balding." — Madonna. [Daily Express]

[London, December 3. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Los Angeles, May 28. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Malibu, March 30. Image via x17]

• Amy Winehouse arrived at Pentonville prison for a visit with the hubs wearing a puffy heart-shaped pin that read "Blake." Unfortunately, she was turned away, because she was late and visiting hours were over. These tears dry on their own. [The Sun]
  
• Rikki Rockett of Poison was arrested on a rape warrant as he stepped off of a flight from New Zealand at LAX on Monday. Can Bret Michaels stop frenching blow-up dolls long enough to help an old friend out? [TMZ]
  
• Grey's Anatomy hottie Justin Chambers speaks out about his sleep disorder: "It's a biological sleep disorder. Your mind keeps racing, and your body is tired. It wants to go to sleep, but it can't." Hmm, maybe that's why he has 5 kids? [People]
  
• "I'm not sure I can sing 'Holiday' or 'Like A Virgin' ever again. I just can't. Unless somebody paid me like $30 million or something. [Like if] some Russian guy wants me to come to the wedding he's going to have to a 17-year-old." —Madonna. [People]

• Madonna was also heard bitching about traffic congestion charges in London, LOL. [Mirror]
• Oh, and Madonna is on the cover of the new "green" issue of Vanity Fair, looking like she will fucking eat you for breakfast. [The.Life Files]
• Have Kate Moss and Jamie Hince set a date? A source says they'll get married in September. [The Sun]
• Heath Ledger's will has been released. The 2003 document leaves 50% of his assets to his sisters and the rest to his parents. [TMZ]
• Britney Spears is on a health kick and has been having colon cleaning sessions at a Beverly Hills clinic, TMI!!! [Mirror]
• Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale: Hoping Gwen's unborn will be a girl! Harajuku girl, hollaback girl, just a girl, etc. [Mirror]
• Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom: Seen having dinner, oooh. [Page Six]
• Dancing With The Stars Karina Smirnoff: Dating Mario Lopez? Or R&B singer Mario? Or both? [Page Six]
• Hillary and Bill Clinton are in the new Martin Scorsese Rolling Stones movie, rocking out. [Rush & Molloy]
• The Hills resident dude Brody Jenner was kicked out of a Los Angeles club for grabbing a bottle of vodka from behind the bar when he wasn't served fast enough and then squirting lemon in the bartender's eyes. Asshole. [Rush & Molloy]
• Rapper T.I. pleaded guilty to federal weapons possessions charges and will spend one year in prison, sigh. Still like his cheekbones. [TMZ]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were both in Vegas this week, but stayed in different hotels. You know, it used to feel like, she's an idiot for being with that douche; now it's like, naw, they deserve each other. [People]
• Will Ivana Trump and her 24-years-younger fiancé, Rossano Rubicondi, stop fighting long enough to get married on April 12? He nearly got arrested during a domestic disturbance last week. But OK! magazine has the rights to the wedding pix, so they'd better say I do even if they don't. [Page Six]
• Pete Doherty is into Scientology now? For the love of Xenu. [The Sun]
• Paris Hilton was a judge in the Miss Turkey pageant in Istanbul, and honestly, it hurts to think of her as representing us internationally. But anyway here's video of her bellydancing, sigh. [People]
• Counting Crows singer Adam Duritz has been battling severe depression and mental illness. Not to make light of the situation but a haircut might help. [People]
• Celine Dion has postponed a series of Australian concerts due to a throat infection — but her heart will go on! [Reuters]
• Tom Cruise joining the cast of the upcoming J.J. Abrams Star trek movie? No. [MSNBC]
• But! Tom Cruise is trying to get back in the game: He dined with onetime nemesis Sumner Redstone of Viacom yesterday. [WSJ]
• Is Jessica Simpson secretly married to Tony Romo? Or is her mom just effing with us? [News.com.au]
• Actress Morgan Fairchild is campaigning to raise awareness about the warning signs of a stroke. [UPI]
• There's some weird (Czech?) rumor that Kylie Minogue will announce her engagement to Olivier Martinez at a concert on May 12. [PopDirt]
• Tina Fey! Spilling about what's next on 30 Rock! "Both of Liz's former boyfriends, Dennis the Beeper King [Dean Winters] and Floyd [Jason Sudeikis] will be back briefly. And Liz does have a little bit of a pregnancy scare. She probably hooks up once every seven years, yet when it rains, it pours. We have a storyline coming up where Jack tries to enlist Tracy to be the new black face of the Republican Party." All this and more! [LA Times]

[Los Angeles, March 11. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Los Angeles, March 2. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Beverly Hills, February 5. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Angelina Jolie: Probably not reading this right now. "As Brad knows, I don't really how to turn on a computer." [People]
  
• Speaking of Brad Pitt, no one likes his new 'do. [Mirror]
  
• Supermodel Elle Macpherson, 44, is dating a 21-year-old? And it's Julian Schnabel's son? Hot. [Page Six]
  
• Cate Blanchett: Seven months pregnant and allowed to skip bathroom lines. [Gatecrasher]
  
• Not-so blind item! "Which famous New York athlete who used to date a pint-size actress is still shaking his head about how she would never remove her shoes during sex?" [Gatecrasher]
  
• Britney's stay at UCLA Medical Center has been extended; she will be required to be there for another 14 days. Hopefully that's enough time to make some real progress. [TMZ]

• Meanwhile, Britney's father was named her conservator, but she allegedly told her lawyers that she "hates" him. Then again, she is in a psychiatric ward. [TMZ]
• In any case, there will be a court hearing today to appoint a new conservator for Britney. As long as it's not Sam Lutfi. [TMZ]
• June Austin Spears, Britney's grandfather, says Lynne keeps knocked-up teen Jamie Lynn Spears "hidden." [Gatecrasher]
• The LAPD says handling Britney has been "different." Lt. Rick Wall, who heads the crisis response team which handles mental illness issues explains: "People were literally climbing on the ambulance. Standing in front of the police cars and the ambulance, so it couldn't move. That's a huge issue for anyone, celebrity or not." [Newsweek]
• There was a second memorial service in L.A. for Heath Ledger on Saturday; guests included Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Sienna Miller, Ellen DeGeneres, Shannyn Sossamon and director Todd Haynes. [People]
• Heath's funeral will be private and held in his hometown of Perth, Australia. [News.com.au]
• Helena Christensen, who was friends with Heath Ledger, says she has "only good memories of him." She adds: "Losing any friend is horrific, but he just has this thing about him — this special, enigmatic thing that I have never met in anyone before. That's what all of his friends are saying. They are totally devastated by losing someone who gave them so much. He gave everyone so much." [People]
• American Idol alum Katharine McPhee, 23, married her boyfriend, producer Nick Cokas, 42, on Saturday in Beverly Hills. Congrats! [People]
• Frau Heidi Klum on Germany's Next Top Model: "The models are all really young — they say the wildest things. They will talk about their boyfriends and where they have sex and how many times. They get media training and we say, 'You're not supposed to say those things,' but it's good television!" [Gatecrasher]
• Anna Nicole's estranged mother, Virgie Arthur, tried to make cash off of her grandson Daniel Smith after his death by offering to pose by his grave for a paparazzi agency. Not surprising but still: Sigh. [Page Six]
• Miley Cyrus beat Jessica Alba at the box office, thanks to a 3D movie (and $15 tickets). [E!]
• Does Lindsay Lohan have a book deal? This UK paper — which spells her name wrong — is reporting that Simon Schuster has paid £1 million for her autobiography. We heard she maybe wanted to write one but not that a deal had been inked. Stay tuned. [Mirror]
• A man charged with a bunch of robberies — including holding up Lost star Josh Holloway, has pleaded guilty and will be behind bars for 30 years. [People]
• Are Kylie Minogue and Olivier Martinez back on? What's this about Olivier not wanting marriage or kids? [Daily Mail]
• Rod Stewart's son has gotten his dad dragged into a court case: Sean is accused of attacking a dude in a bar brawl; Rod's bodyguard was involved, so the court papers are naming Rod as a defendant. Messy, messy business. [Daily Mail]
• Is Sienna Miller telling Rhys Ifans "marry me or else"? Is Rhys wearing Sienna's T-shirt? [Daily Mail]
• Is Jemima Khan hooking up with ex-boyfriend Hugh Grant? Do you give a shit? [Daily Mail]

• Apparently, Britney and her "friend" Sam Lutfi got in a fight last night: Photogs started snapping and she asked them to leave her alone. There's more, but let's just say that the cops were called to keep the paparazzi at bay and helicopters circled overhead. Clusterfuck. [TMZ, ONTD, Perez Hilton, Perez Hilton]
  
• Barbara Walters says she spoke with Lutfi, who told her that Britney has seen a shrink and has "mental issues which are treatable." Apparently Britney has mood swings and insomnia as well. [USA Today]
  
• No surprise here: sources interviewed in a profile of Britney in Blender paint a picture of a woman who has been used and lied to most of her life. Eric Foster White, who co-wrote six songs on her first album, says, "You have to understand that there's nobody in the equation who stood to benefit by giving it to her straight." [MSNBC]

• Oh, and Britney is allowed to have telephone contact with her kids, as per the hearing last week. Still no physical contact, though. [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Zoey 101, the hit show of which Jamie Lynn Spears is the star, has returned for another season; the episodes were filmed before JLS became pregnant. This fourth season was always meant to be the last. [USA Today]
• Lindsay Lohan took at least one swig of vodka when she was out partying with Brody Jenner, Samantha Ronson and Stavros on Friday night. Rehab shmehab. [Page Six]
• By the by, since Brody Jenner has a girlfriend, a model named Cora Skinner, he denies hooking up with Lindsay and has issued a statement: "We were hanging out as friends and nothing happened," Jenner said. "We weren't 'all over' each other, and we definitely weren't making out. I am dating and really happy with Cora." OK, awesome, thanks. [Rush & Molloy]
• Filming of Michelle Williams' new movie, Blue Valentine, which also starts Ryan Gosling, has been put on hold while she mourns the death of Heath Ledger. [People]
• Nigella Lawson, who shares a £100 million fortune with her husband, Charles Saatchi, doesn't want to leave her children any money. She believes that kids should make their own loot: "I am determined that my children should have no financial security. It ruins people not having to earn money." She has a point but damn that's cold. [Telegraph]
• Vanessa Paradis bombed at a music awards show in France? Eh, who cares, she's got Johnny Depp. [Perez Hilton]
• Late Late Show host Craig Ferguson earned a perfect score on his citizenship test and the Scottish-born funnyman will be sworn in a few weeks from now. Congrats! [USA Today]
• Despite the writers' strike, the Grammys will happen! The WGA and the Recording Academy made an agreement; the ceremony will be February 10. Now if Amy Winehouse can just get her shit together... [Yahoo News]
• Blind item! "Which reality-show clogged network had to change its casting procedures after a racist internal policy was leaked? Producers had an informal ban on considering cast members who were 'too black.' They claimed it was because darker skin tones were hard to pick up on camera." [Gatecrasher]
• Oooh, actress Sean Young caused a boozy ruckus at the Directors Guild of America party? Sounds fun. [Page Six]
• Tracy Morgan: Seen shirtless and dancing on a banquette while asking a waitress if he could father her baby. You know, the usual. [Page Six]
• Kathy Griffin: double-banned from The View? Guess Barbara doesn't like being made fun of. [Page Six]
• A year after their breakup, Kylie Minogue had a rendez-vous with ex Olivier Martinez — and his dog. She's said his dog "was the love of my life" and was important to her recovery from cancer. Aw, happiness is a warm puppy. [Daily Mail]

• Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams: SPLIT! "They've been fighting for six months," says a source. Their daughter, Matilda, is 23 months old. [Star]
  
• Michelle's dad says he has "great respect for Heath" even though the dad was "never invited into their world." Maybe because he's self-exiled in Australia for tax evasion?[News.com.au]
  
• Owen Wilson is on the mend and "doing very well" says director Wes Anderson. [NY Post]
  
• In addition, "When [Owen's] ready he's going to speak for himself much better than anyone else could," Anderson says. [People]
  
• Grey's Anatomy actress Kate Walsh, 39, got married over the weekend. [People]
  
• Dina Lohan's new boyfriend calls Michael Lohan a violent, drug-abusing criminal who never deserved his "classy, intelligent" wife. It's like a Telenovela, come to life! [Page Six]

• Photographer David LaChappelle "hates" Gwen Stefani, Christina Aguilera and Madonna. It's like a Telenovela come to life! [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which Hollywood trio of friends is in trouble? One is on crack, one's on smack, and the other cheats so much on his wife that he single-handedly is supporting several hookers." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which singer keeps her slender frame so thin the old-fashioned way? Seems a 'major eating disorder' helps keep her midriff worth baring." [Page Six]
• Is Kelly Klein really using her own (50-year-old) eggs to get pregnant? Why does anyone care? [Page Six]
• A "frenzied female fan" rushed Brad Pitt at the Venice Film Festival, and he was shaken up, poor thing. [Page Six]
• But Brad and Angelina are ready for a fifth child! They don't have one from South America yet, so we think they should head to Peru or something. [People]
• Did Gisele Bundchen send Bridget Moynahan's new baby a onesie with the word "supermodel" on it? Because that would be crazy. [Gatecrasher]
• Zach Braff, Nicole Richie and Samantha Ronson dined together at Dominick's in L.A. on Wednesday night. Zach is everywhere. [Gatecrasher, 5th item]
• Blind item! "Which Hollywood megastar couple likes to have the hotel where they stay in New York clip flattering pictures of them and their child from the celeb weeklies, to put in frames before they arrive at their suite?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
• A former manager claims Mariah Carey owes him major bucks. [Rush & Molloy]
• Russell Simmons: did yoga with John Edwards? Likes Kucinich?? [Rush & Molloy, 3rd item]
• When John Mayer and Jessica Simpson were dating, Jessica would "call photographers and set him up all the time," says a source. [TMZ]
• The child welfare official from Malawi who was supposed to go to London to assess Madonna has been removed from the case under allegations he solicited money from the singer for the trip. Messy! [ABC News]
• Pete Doherty missed his court appearance because he'd checked into rehab. It's like déjà vu all over again! [Reuters]
• Usher finally married his 37-year-old baby mama. [USA Today]
• Courtney Love denies she said "I've never seen anyone take as much coke" as Amy Winehouse. "Even I wasn't that bad." Her denial was via Perez Hilton, sigh. [Mirror]
• The Israeli actress-model-artist who dated Olivier Martinez after he broke up with Kylie Minogue speaks! "What they say about French lovers is all true." [Daily Mail]
• Bill Murray was stopped by the police while driving a golf cart in downtown Stockholm. [Yahoo! News]

Life & Style: Angie and Brad are over and out. Though "sources" claim both are ready to move on, we're doubtful, as dutiful dad Brad was home, happily taking care of the kiddies while Angelina was out at a Tribeca Film Festival afterparty, getting cuddly with former flame (and recent Kylie Minogue-ex) Olivier Martinez. Life & Style insists, however, that Brangelina will continue to keep up appearances, the better promote their upcoming film, A Mighty Heart. Forget doing it for the kids, do it for the dollars!

US Weekly: This mag is all over Angelina's steamy film festival night out as well, going so far as to say that the actress gave her Taking Lives co-star Martinez a lap dance and continued on with some grinding on the dance floor. Says a clearly horrified witness to the carnal carnage, "You don't act that way in a committed relationship." USalso whips out an expert body language reader for a weighing-in. Her conclusion? Angelina likes Olivier. Olivier likes... Angelina's son Maddox.

InTouch: It's an altogether different tale here, namely, that Brad and Angelina are in the throes of a major menage a trois with Victoria's Secret model Karolina Kurkova. Although Karolina has a boyfriend of four years who claims he's never even met Mr. & Mrs. Smith sexpots, clearly the proof is in the pudding: Kurkova told New York magazine that she would like to see Angie as the next U.S. president. (If that doesn't say sure-fire sex scandal, we don't know what does).

Star: In a pathetic, "everyone-else-is-talking-about-Brangelina-so-we-better-find-something-to-say-and-soon" move, Star revives the Angelina's In Love With Her Brother rumor, asserting that Angelina's sibling James is coming between her and Brad. A word of advice to Star's new editor-in-chief, Candace Truzo: If you want to play with the big boys over at Bauer and Wenner Media, it might be time to move on from the incest thing. That's so, you know, Y2K.