But what's to be expected of a "reality" show that's completely staged. (Including Olivia's "accessories department" position at Elle. She's actually working in the PR department, but her name does not appear in the magazine's masthead.)

I've been down to Canal Street many, many times, and no one will sell you knockoffs (the kind that actually have designer logos on them) in the middle of the street. They won't even sell them to you in the shops. You have to specifically ask for them from one of the employees, who will first deny carrying such bags, but once it is established that you are not a cop, the employee will pull out a walkie talkie, mutter something into it, and then turn to you and start screaming and pushing you toward the back of the store, where a hidden door opens up, arms reach out, yank you in and slam the door behind you. It's basically a very tall closet with lots and lots of convincing knockoffs. Once your transaction is complete, you have to wait for walkie talkie clearance to exit the hidden room.

However, if you do manage to strike up negotiations with someone who does not have a storefront, they will never ever show you bags in the middle of the street. There's usually some kind of rendezvous point (like Sbarros or halfway down the stairs to the subway entrance) where they will reveal the merchandise, and then get super pissed off at you when you don't want to buy anything.

The fact that Olivia made her illegal purchase from a guy whose face was not blurred out on camera is probably the biggest indicator that the entire thing was staged. But what else is new with this show?

Chloe Sevigny takes on horizontals. There's a reason the dame ranked high in yesterday's informal "girl crush" poll.


Yes, yes, it's supposed to be all kinds of "lengthening" to wear one's jeans extra-long like this. But then you can only wear them with the 5" platforms, which mean you only wear them, maybe, once a month, and every time wish you'd just had them hemmed to a normal length. Besides, isn't Brooke Shields tall anyway?


Paul Iacono is working so hard at being quirky that I'm half afraid he's about to whip a copy of Prater Violet and a hip flask of home-brew out of his pocket.


Erin Lucas, now identified as an "actress," was one of the "downtown" cool-kids on The City. (Read: she had bangs.) You can tell by her casually distressed aesthetic, you see.


Olivia Palermo, meanwhile, would never have been allowed to wear such a wacky train-wreck of an outfit in her designated role of "rich bitchy villainess."


The fact that Fern Mallis is the most powerful woman in fashion makes me happy every time I see her in dizzy French-teacher mode!


Ashley Madekwe looks like what an American Apparel ad should be. In reality, she'd need to remove all the clothes ans ten years, and add a major insolent sexy-face.


Julie Henderson's dress kind of looks like a really labor-intensive craft project, the kind at a craft fair that makes you secretly think, if you have that talent, why put all this time into something ugly?


My parents used to have two friends who met in the early 70's in a marijuana addiction group. Byrdie Bell's dress is what I imagine the bride wearing.


Nicole Miller has the confidence of the successful designer. Make of this what you will, she said ominously.


[Images via Getty]

The Good:
Hyperventilating from Hilary Rhoda's pretty!


Selita Ebanks balances brilliant fuschia with a simple, elegant silhouette.


There was a lot of playing with volume at this event - the April Fool thing? - and here's why I think Dayssi Olarte de Kanavos' works: the hobble skirt balances the bodice's billow!


In contrast, Eugenia Silva does totally sleek, classically sexy.


Diane Kruger's whimsical lavender doesn't sacrifice the pretty.


Dig it: Tara Subkoff balances the glitz of her frock with a low-key sweater to seriously cool effect.


Serena Williams is regal in amethyst.


Helen Lee Schifter's one of these perennial 'best-dressed list' fixtures... fair enough!


Tinsley Mortimer's Easter-ish number walks the cutesy line and stays just grown-up enough.


Rachel Zoe's bish face, gown are bananas.


Emmy Rossum's gown is kind of a weird mix of southern belle, 30s formal, and plain odd...but it works!


The Bad:
As Melissa Deamicis knows, the best way to help the children is by denuding an ostrich, then channeling its spirit.


Maggie Rizer, meanwhile, helps the children by draping herself in an enormous wad of bubble gum, scrawny carcass.


I love how the stunning Rachel Roy plays with tricky proportions, but this was just a bridge - or rather, a hemline/neckline/bootie - too far.


Do we think Rachel Zoe dressed Joy Bryant? Cause she totally killed it - a robot princess, that is. Then she took her duds as plunder.


Leigh "Princess Coldstare" Lezark has been insinuating herself back onto the scene. Word was, she was launching a clothing line. For angry, blindfolded schoolgirls?


What Say You?
Coca Rocha's gown is probably Zac Posen, maybe too much!


The Ugly?
Hey, you know how I loved that pairing of cardi and cocktail dress? Well, as Olivia Palermo shows, when you sub in "power smoking jacket" and "upholstery" the effect is not the same.

[Images via Getty]

• Chris Brown has reportedly moved on. His new ladyfriend is actually an ex. She attends University of Mary Washington and they met in Virginia, which is where he's from. His reps deny everything. [Gatecrasher]

• Are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie trying to adopt another kid, this time from the Philippines? [Daily Mail]
• Is Pamela Anderson getting ready to wed —- for the fourth time? The dude would be her current boyfriend, Jamie Padgett. [The Sun]
• "Someone in the Kardashian family will soon have plastic surgery," says Kim Kardashian. "I can't tell you who, but someone in my family will look totally different and viewers will see it all on the show very soon." Uh, is it Bruce Jenner? [People]
• Suri Cruise is starting her "five day a week Scientology training," which really just means she'll be attending that school started by Will Smith that uses "study technology." But the school does require a "low-carb, low-sodium and low-sugar organic diet." Suri is about to turn 3. [Daily Mail]
• Although Lindsay Lohan is "heartbroken," Lindsay and Sam are still talking,says a friend. Also: Lindsay "barely sleeps, which explains a lot of her behavior. She's exhausted. She can't even sit down for a minute without pacing around the room. It's really sad." [People]
• Lindsay was seen carrying something called Neuro Bliss, which is supposed to "relax neural tissues, to enhance brain activity, focus and provide a sense of well-being." [TMZ]
• This report is titled, "Lindsay Parties The Pain Away." [OK!]
• Madonna is still trying to adopt Mercy James, the child in Malawi. Her lawyer has filed an appeal, and she says "I want to provide Mercy with a home, a loving family environment and the best education and healthcare possible." [Reuters]
• Mercy James is "in hiding" so that her biological father doesn't come and take her; apparently he has only materialized since Madonna showed interest in the child. [Daily Mail]
• News you cannot use: Madonna's son David is a fan of Australian football. [News.com.au]
• Is it mean that Joel Madden posted a picture of a young Nicole Richie on his Twitter and wrote, "This is why I love her folks. Is it not Ron Perlman circa Beauty and the Beast??" [People]
• Hermione's coming to the states: Emma Watson will be attending Brown University. [Daily Express]
• Even though Paris Hilton is with Doug Reinhardt now, she totally talks to her ex, Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos, at least three times a week. They probably just discuss the economy and ? [Daily Mail]
• Brace yourself for a Nadya Suleman reality show, which is super close to happening. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Some lady from a rehab center says she had a "secret fling" with Blake Fielder-Civil and is knocked up with his kid. Is it true? Will Amy Winehouse flip her wig? [Daily Mail]
• Amy Winehouse has been working with the Gorillaz instead of working on her own album. [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse and Duffy are no match for Dusty Springfield, says a friend of Dusty Springfield's. [Telegraph]
• Did Whitney Port leave her job at Diane von Furstenberg, after being beaten out for a promotion by Olivia Palermo? [Page Six]
• Josh Hartnett was seen partying in Miami, so he's clearly recovered from that gastrointestinal problem which sent him to the hospital earlier this month. [UPI]
• Did Jimmy Fallon steal an album cover from the wall of a New York City restaurant and show it off on the Tonight Show? He's claiming it was a prop, but the restaurant has posted a sign, saying: ""Wanted! Jimmy Fallon. A free meal and drink to anyone who can retrieve our record cover back to us safely." [UPI]
• Tim Roth says he was a victim of child abuse. "It happened during my childhood up to my early teens and although I'm not going to say who it was, he's long gone now — and I hasten to add it wasn't my father or mother. Things happen to you in your life, but you don't want to consider yourself to be a victim — you want to be a survivor and the first thing that helps you do that and helps you get through it is speaking and finding your voice." [Daily Mail]
• WTF: New York Post film critic Lou Lumenick wrote: "You know a movie's got problems when the most memorable thing about it is Sienna Miller's moustache. That growth above her lip is clearly visible in two scenes, once in profile." How is that relevant to the movie (The Mysteries Of Pittsburgh) or her acting? [The Sun]
• Sienna Miller has dropped from number 45 to 202 on FHM's Sexiest Women list. [The Sun]
• Trouble in Kate Beckinsale's marriage? [Daily Mail]
• Jared Leto invited children rescued from a life of prostitution to sit in on a recording session with his band, 30 Seconds To Mars. [Monica Seles is opening up about her addiction to food in a new book, Getting A Grip. [Daily Mail]
• Long-haired heartthrob Fabio wrecked a Ferrari on Mulholland Drive over the weekend. Did you know dude is 50? [UPI]
• The Hannah Montana movie took the top spot at the weekend box office with a fairly respectable $17.2 million. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Why the fact that Sylvester Stallone has Russian heritage is breaking news is a mystery. [Daily Mail]
• Sting and his wife have invited a group of friends on an all-expenses-paid luxury trip to Tuscany to discuss "social consciousness." [Daily Mail]
• Here's a profile of Carla Gugino in which she says: "I was so serious when I was young. My mom would come home and say, 'Carla, stop studying." Or, "The dishes are clean enough.' I felt that to be successful I couldn't drink, I couldn't smoke. But acting taught me to have a life that could feed my work.… I had a happy childhood, but I think it also pushed me to try to create my own sense of stability and made me very intense for my age." [NY Times]
• Singer Cassie shaved part of her head, and it looks cute. [NY Daily News]
• Two of Leona Lewis's cousins have been arrested for allegedly beating up and trying to rob some drug dealers. [The Sun]
• Ooh, a retrospective of Ray Liotta's career. He was so hot in Something Wild. [CNN]
• Bjorn Ulvaeus of ABBA says there should not be a sequel to Mamma Mia: "It wouldn't work." [UPI]
• In this piece, Sir Roger Moore talks about all of his ailments — kidney stones, shingles, low heart rate, etc — as well as his hypochondria. [Daily Mail]
• William Hurt will join the cast of the Robin Hood flick which stars Russell Crowe in the lead and Cate Blanchett as Maid Marian. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Shenae Grimes of 90210 was asked who she'd like to come to the set: "Luke Perry, obviously. I mean, come on! We've all been dying for it. I still am but I may have to give up the dream." [Mirror]
• This sentence means nothing to me, but perhaps others will care: The Veronicas are dating brothers from rock bad Carney. [News.com.au]
• Blind item! "Which troubled starlet is getting over a bad breakup with a member of the same sex? We just hope the latter's current boyfriend doesn't get wind of the girl-on-girl shenanigans!" [Gatecrasher]
• "Trying to do an aggressive sex scene is quite difficult. Especially in a public place with a crowd of screaming extras with their little camera phones going click-click, talking pictures of your pasty white ass. I've had my fair share of bedroom antics in films, but they were a little more private." — Jason Statham. [Page Six]
• "I have made several mistakes and one of them was being overprotective of the girls, which has led to an impression that the school is isolating them from society. The majority of girls are thriving, really fulfilling the dream and vision I had. They really have exceeded any expectations I had for them. In spite of everything that's happened, what keeps me inspired and hopeful is the heart of every girl, because they are wonderful, they are magnificent." — Oprah, who has been defending the record of her school in South Africa. [USA Today]
• "He was in an Easter suit, with the Easter basket and the eggs and everything. Once you've seen Billy in a bunny suit, it's pretty hard to think of Easter in any other way." — Christie Brinkley on ex-husband Billy Joel. [Daily Express]
• "I wish I'd never worn an American flag motif swimsuit to the MTV Awards when I was in the Spice Girls. This was me hating myself and hiding under mountains of make-up." — Geri Halliwell. [Independent]
• "I don't think you ever retire from films - films retire you. Sometimes, if you're unfortunate, after your first film. What happens is you say 'I'm going to retire'. And then someone turns up and gives you this script. So you're not retiring. I don't have my next movie and I'm not looking for one. But someone will give me a script possibly and I'll work again. If someone doesn't give me a script that I want to do, I'll retire. But there won't be a great announcement or fanfare of trumpets. I just won't do anything. I'll stay at home and do what I always do, which is cooking, gardening and writing." — Michael Caine. [Daily Express]
• "I don't care. If I don't get food in my mouth, I'm still happy. If my pants are round my ankles, as long as I don't get arrested for indecent exposure, I'm happy. I'm worried about keeping my hair, not how it's combed. […] I don't know that [my kids have] ever seen Back To The Future all the way through. Just as Parkinson's isn't a big topic of conversation in my house, neither is my career. I go down to my office every day and they say, 'Dad's going to work.'" — Michael J. Fox. [Guardian]
• "Only 1,350 rockers were made, and we sold approximately 70 percent in the first two weeks. The collector's edition photo album has sold more the first week than any book we've sold at Cracker Barrel." — Cracker Barrel's VP of marketing on Dolly Parton's merch, which is flying out of stores. [Reuters]
• "I wish we could have shared a bed/but her life was not her own/That's what happens when you date a girl/from Driftwood Nursing Home." — from Bob Saget's comedy act. [NY Times]
• "What I love about Donna is she's never jaded. Donna can kind of go through anything and she still has that girlish quality about her. I think that's something she'd have at any age. That's Donna to me." — Tori Spelling on her return to 90210. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "It's not like we're not talking, we just haven't talked. I love my mother. I've always loved her [and] no doubt she loves me. There's no feud. We simply never meshed." — Tori Spelling. [People]
• "Chris [Martin] is a huge [Sherlock] Holmes nut. He said to me before filming, 'You've got to be gaunt. You've got to be as skinny as you possibly can to play Holmes.' So every time I'm reaching for a muffin I think about Chris and skip the snack. That's been tough." — Robert Downey Jr. [The Sun]
• "I know what you're saying, but it's not a character like in a book or a movie. He's not a bus driver. He doesn't drive a forklift. He's not a serial killer. It's me who's singing that, plain and simple. We shouldn't confuse singers and performers with actors. Actors will say, 'My character this, and my character that.' Like beating a dead horse. Who cares about the character? Just get up and act. You don't have to explain it to me." — Bob Dylan, in a rare interview. [Telegraph]
• "I knew I wanted to marry her pretty soon [after I met her]. It took a while for me to admit it, because it would be crazy to be like, 'I want to marry you' the first day I met her. But I could have!" — Chris Pratt on fiancée Anna Faris. [People]
• "I found I was really sleepy. I almost fell asleep during a Chris Rock show - live, front and center. I thought, 'I need to have a steak.' You have to do what works for you. Some people need meat." — Rachel McAdams, on why she's not a vegetarian anymore. [NY Daily News]
• "There was a television series that never got made by that woman who wrote that big role for Helen Mirren, Lynda La Plante. They wanted me to play – this is how they think of me – a woman who had been beaten up and degraded. I refused. I'm sure the British would not like to see me in a role like that. No way. [As for the film version of my life,] I hated the script. I thought it would be based on the book and not just made up. I had a long talk with my friend, the actress Carrie Fisher, about it and she said: 'You might think you were degraded enough but believe me, for Hollywood not nearly enough. There has to be prostitution, there has to be murder.' So I took it back." — Marianne Faithfull. [Daily Express]

• There's the usual gloom, sex, scandal and, ahem, 50 Cent's makeup line - today, but first, brace yourselves: Michelle Obama has not RSVP'd to Fashion Week. This woman's priorities are way out of whack! [WWD]

• About Fitty: he's starting a men's grooming line, containing both moisturizers and supplements. Quoth "someone," "his range will be for the guy who likes to be pampered, but the supplements will make it more butch." [Yahoo via New York]
• Katie Holmes' latest batch of Miu Miu photos is "softer" than the last: Read, she's lying around dreamily in firelight. [Popsugar]
• A bunch of children's Harajuku Lovers Hooded Jackets by Gwen Stefani are being recalled in California because their defective ties are a "strangulation risk." [CPSC]
• Kelly Cutrone, who's cut an awesomely bitchy swath across the reality show landscape, may now be getting her own. Fashion PR doyenne Cutrone, who's stirred pots on The City and The Hills, has inked an eight-episode deal with Bravo for a show that follows her, presumably, insulting people at her company People's Revolution. [New York Post]
• Alexander McQueen brings a touch of punk to a Target near you: "The heart of McQ is rebellious youth culture, a certain spirit that embodies the regular line as well as the Target collection. It's an ‘eighties punk aesthetic that evokes the anarchy and social change of the time. Youth culture now really looks back and embraces the past, but keeps it contemporary but not sticking to one particular style." [New York]
• Victoria's Secret is introducing a new, green fragrance line to the bordello, plus a perfume that "smells like lace." [Racked]
• It would seem that the president of Theory was one of Madoff's manifold victims, along wit a score of other fashion insiders. Bernie, meanwhile, is still sitting pretty under house arrest - one hopes not in a Theory suit! [WWD]
• It's not much, but they'll take it: LVMH reported a "slim annual increase" and flat profits for the year. [WSJ]
• In case no one was sure that Lorenzo Martone was Marc Jacobs' boy toy, the Brazilian looker sported, to the premiere of He's Just Not That Into You, a shirt bearing the immortal words: "Do me in the park. Marc." [New York Post]
• Sometimes there's just no point in paraphrasing the perfection of the British press:
  "Alice Hawkins looks like Dolly Parton and likes to hang out with gangsters, showgirls and topless models. She also happens to be one of the fashion world's hottest photographers." [Telegraph]
• Oh noes! Teri Agins, the respected Wall Street Journal fashion writer, is a recession casualty. [Forbes]
• Hey, remember that cute "I die. Bananas" tee? Yeah, cease and desist. Zoe has them trademarked. [New York]
• DVF just threw an odd luncheon, the guest list of which included Diana Ross, James Frey, The City + cameras, and a bunch of designers. Stars: they're nothing like us! [WWD]
• Ugh: The UGG index is up, which is bad news for real shoes, the economy. [MSNBC]
• UGGS, at least, are total depression-wear: dreary, warm, stolid. The continuing popularity of Crocs? Totally baffling! [Telegraph]
• Zara, one of the other indestructibles, expands its sorta-fast fashion to India. [FT]
• We can add nothing to this: Lilly Pulitzer-print Jeep. [Fashion Week Daily]
• What can we say? Digging on Julia Roitfeld's ads for Mango! [Fashionista]

• Before we tackle today's inevitable layoffs, liquidations and bankruptcies, look at David Beckham. Look at semi-naked David Beckham. In his very important new Emporio Armani ad. Why, good morning to you, Dave. [People]

• Unfortunately for Heidi Montag, clothing lines whose main qualification as same is the attachment of a famous name are not faring well in the downturn. (Please, let someone therefore piece it together that continuing to announce B-List Star for Major Middle Market Retailer arrangements isn't a recession-proof move.) [AdAge]
• Unfortunately, the news came too late to stop Hilary Duff for DKNY Jeans... [WWD]
• ...and to stop Jessica Alba from dipping her toe into the designer waters. [Fashionista]
• And Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen menswear. (OK, so The Row technically should get a pass for being, actually, kinda good, but it's the principle of the thing.) [Elle]
• But getting a celebrity to wear your dress on a red carpet is still worth a starlet's weight in gold. [WSJ]
• The recession will not, however, kill Spanx, which had sales volume of over $350 million last year. Because while the shitty economy is temporary, hating your body enough to want to squeeze and yank and pull it into a girdle is forever. [Reuters]
• The economic situation is making it tougher perhaps than ever for young designers who were in the midst of expanding in line with pre-recession demand and fanfare. [NY Times]
• Esprit has reported its first interim drop in profits in ten years. Sales are slow worldwide, and particularly so in Europe. [Financial Times]
• Estee Lauder's second-quarter profits are also down by 30%. The company will restructure 2,000 workers out of working existence. [The Street]
• Elizabeth Arden, however, beat analysts' expectations for the second quarter by 2 cents a share. Sales still fell 12.7% and net profit was down from $33.8 million one year ago to $17.4 million now. [Reuters]
• A handful more details about the Mathew Williamson line for Target: it launches on April 23, it will be colorful (which, frankly, if anything at all comes to mind when you think "Mathew Williamson" you already knew), and in addition to the regular frocks and tops, there'll be jumpsuits. Controversial move! [Blackbook]
• Kim Gordon discusses her line for Urban Outfitters, Mirror/Dash, with the New York Times, but although they hit stores on February 16, there's only one picture of the actual clothes. She's surprisingly realistic about Mirror/Dash's design process — she admits she doesn't actually sketch so much as talk about fabric and "ideas" with her partner before sending away to Urban Outfitters' sample houses. [The Moment]
• Never to be outdone by Vogue and its eyebrow-raising Sean Avery internship, Elle now has for an intern the fashlete (did I just make that up? I think I did. Let's go with it!) Stew Bradley, an actual Philadelphia Eagle. May he cherish the coffee-schlepping, xeroxing, and sexual harassment that are the hallmarks of any true New York media internship. [The Cut]
• Except, on his first day, Bradley went to lunch with Diana Ross, Diane von Furstenberg, Jessica Alba, Jason Wu, Anil Kapoor Veronica Webb, Eva Amurri, John Frey, Roberta Myers, Joe Zee, Anne Slowey, Whitney Port, and Olivia Palermo. At Diane von Furstenberg's studio. [WWD]
• Now, if she'd only worn her favorite label, Carhartt, on the campaign trail, Sarah Palin might have had a shot at the Brooklyn hipster vote! [US News]
• Janie Bryant, the costume designer for Mad Men, is crafting a contemporary, not vintage, clothing line. And that's about all she's willing to say just now. [WSJ]
• High-end Baltimore fabric store Michael's Fabrics says it has the lemongrass embroidered wool Isabel Toledo used to create Michelle Obama's inauguration day outfit. It's 33" wide and yours for a mere $500 a yard. Just in case you want to whip a dress up at home. [Unbeige]
• Isabel Toledo is still reeling from the media attention following dressing Michelle Obama. (Her husband, the fashion illustrator Ruben Toledo, calls it "Obamathon.") An exhibition of her dresses is going up at the museum at FIT in June. [WWD]
• Monique Lhuillier is introducing a new, more moderately priced line for fall. Given her regular dresses retail for $3,000-$7,000, "moderately priced" in this sentence means around $2,500. [WSJ]
• The Washington Post saw Jill Biden and her security detail nip into Bloomingdale's to buy some Tory Burch shoes. [Washington Post]
• UK Elle has Vivienne Westwood's handwritten "manifesto," and it includes such worthwhile tips as "DIY Suggestions: Necklace of safety pins" and the reminder "We need an estimated $30 billion per year to save the rainforest. $30,000,000,000,000,000,000,000etc-->" Also, she believes Leonard Peltier is innocent. [Elle]
• PETA Photoshopped a Pinocchio nose on to Giorgio Armani's face for a full-page ad in Variety after the scrappy perma-tanned Italian allegedly went back on his word after pledging to no longer use fur in his collections. Armani's people say they use only rabbit fur from animals raised for meat. [New York Daily News]
• Now, this should be fun: Lynda Carter, Valerie Bertinelli, Katie Couric, Natya Liukin, Jennie Garth, and Tori Spelling are among those modeling for a fashion week show dedicated to heart health. Designers include Christian Siriano, Carolina Herrera, and those guys at Badgley Mischka. [WWD]

Olivia, a 22-year-old who moved out of her parents Upper East Side apartment this summer into her own $4,150 a month bachelorette pad, was infamous on Socialite Rank for allegedly writing an email to other socialites (which inevitably made the rounds on blogs), apologizing for being a sycophantic social climber and asking for "acceptance," which in itself is kind of sycophantic and climber-y. She was once a student at New School, has a fan site, and up until this past July, insisted she would not be appearing on The City because she wanted to be "a serious actress." That is, until, she, like many others in their early-20s, had a change of heart about career plans and decided she wanted to be "a brand." (She's Whitney's "work" friend on the "reality" show and not really a publicist. She just plays one on TV. She actually has a PR firm, Rogers & Cowan, in her employ.) In the clip above, Olivia tells Whitney about her first pair of Manolos that she wore to her deb ball. Then Whitney sits down with her mentor and former People's Revolution boss Kelly Cutrone, who, when she learned about Whitney working with Olivia, said, "Shut. Up. She got a job? That's very unlike her. Why is she working?"

• Ellen DeGeneres has come out against Proposition 8 on her blog. She says: "It’s called, 'The California Marriage Protection Act' — but don’t let the name fool you. It’s not protecting anyone’s marriage. Not yours. Not mine." She continues: "Please VOTE NO on Proposition 8. And now that you’re informed, spread the word. I’m begging you. I can’t return the wedding gifts — I love my new toaster." [People]
• Steven Spielberg and wife Kate Capshaw have matched Brad Pitt's $100,000 donation to fight Proposition 8. [The Campaign Silo]
• Trouble in paradise for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt? Apparently she was peeved that he took a bunch of trips after she gave birth to the twins, so she threatened to leave him. Everything is probably fine, but what if they did break up? So sad. And what a freakin mess. [The Sun]
• Yes, Clay Aiken is gay. Also! The sky is blue. [Page Six]
• Did Kate Moss break up with Jamie Hince because he didn't want to father a child for her? Seems like she wants another kid and he's afraid to commit to that, since he's always touring with his band. Anyway: Looks like they might be patching things up. [The Sun]

• Even though Travis Barker is mourning the death of two close friends and suffering from severe burns, a friend says he is "trying to stay upbeat." [People]
• We've heard this before but: Britney is selling her house. [UPI]
• The latest exchange between Lindsay and Michael Lohan: She says, "My father obviously needs to be on medication to control his moods. He is out of line and his words show how much anger he has, and it's dangerous and scary as it reminds me of how he treated my mother and I my whole childhood. He needs to be stopped. This is yet another reason why we aren't speaking." [Page Six]
• This is great: "If you don't want to get photographed topless wearing a mermaid costume, don't go to P. Diddy's star-studded White Party topless wearing a mermaid costume." The chick in the starfish pasties actually tried to sue Diddy after her picture was printed in Vibe magazine with the caption "Mermaids Gone Wild." [NY Post]
• Shannen Doherty is speaking out about the skinny stars on 90210: "I see those girls and they eat on the set, so I'm pretty sure they're not starving themselves," she claims. "I don't really think it's some magazine's obligation to put these girls on the cover and point fingers at them. Either way, they need to leave them alone." [Yahoo News]
• Nicole Kidman says the water in the outback while filming Australia got her pregnant. "Seven babies were conceived out of this film and only one was a boy. There is something up there in the Kununurra water because we all went swimming in the waterfalls, so we can call it the fertility waters now." [News.com.au]
• Ronnie Dunn from Brooks & Dunn says Nicole and Keith will find living in Nashville "peaceful." [People]
• Kirsten Dunst and Justin "I'm A Mac" Long: Splitsville. [Perez Hilton]
• More trouble for Anne Hathaway's ex-boyfriend: Raffaello Follieri has been accused by a Roman Catholic priest of bamboozling him out of $110,000. Holy crap. [E!]
• Ugly Betty's Ana Ortiz was in a romantic relationship that turned physically abusive when she was in her 20s. But! She uses her pain to play Betty's sister Hilda. [USA Today]
• How times have changed: Back in 2005, the ladies of Desperate Housewives had a tense, catty photo shoot for the cover of Vanity Fair. Now, the actresses are on the new issue of TV Guide. Not only did the shoot go smoothly, but the show approached the magazine for publicity, instead of the other way around. [MSNBC]
• Jude Law was spotted among the protesters gathered near the United Nations earlier this week. Research for a film? Or was he trying to get a glimpse of Sarah Palin? [MSNBC]
• Christian Slater spills all to GQ: He talks about getting drunk at 9 years old and the infamous 1989 incident in which he led police on an alcohol-induced car chase through West Hollywood, eventually crashing into a telephone pole and kicking the cops who came to arrest him. The charges included assault with a deadly weapon—his cowboy boots. [News.com.au]
• Diane Lane: Quitting acting? She says: "I can't do anything official. My agents won't let me. Between you and me, I don't have anything else coming out, and I'm just gonna be taking my kids to driving school and making sure they don't cause any trainwrecks with their texting." [Daily Express]
• The Oasis comeback show is canceled; Noel Gallagher needs more time to recover from broken ribs received when a "nutter" attacked him on stage in Canada. [The Sun]
• Socialite Olivia Palermo will be on Whitney Port's new show, The City. Thank Zeus someone who actually knows New York is involved. [Page Six]
• Megan Fox gave an interview to GQ in which she talked about being in a same-sex relationship with a stripper named Nikita. Her mom says: "I love my daughter dearly. But Megan is, well, Megan. I know she has a good sense of humor, and I take this interview in that context." [Perez Hilton]
• Size doesn't matter: Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer has a new girlfriend, a model named Dominique. [Perez Hilton]
• Michael Jackson wants his new album to be amazing, so he's hired Ne-Yo to write some songs. Ne-Yo's written for Beyoncé and Rihanna and says: "Michael is very nervous as he knows he's the underdog and people want him to fail." Not fail! But not scare us with pure creepiness. [Mirror]
• Uh-oh. Quincy Jones is not involved with Michael Jackson's new album. Big mistake. [Fox 411]
• Kanye West and 50 Cent are releasing albums in December — only a week apart. Last year, they both dropped CDs on the same day and Kanye sold more. Who will emerge victorious this time? [Mirror]
• Boy George to George Michael: "Get away from your drug problems and get yourself clean." In other words, do you really want to hurt me you? [Mirror]
• Tim Burton's ex, Lisa Marie, won't be getting more of Tim Burton's money. [Breitbart]
• Rapper DMX missed a court date because he was hospitalized. And he might have been in the hospital due to "fear of stroke." No, really. [Reuters]
• More rumors that Hugh Hefner's "girlfriends" are hooking up with other people. [Page Six]
• "Whenever the Jonas Brothers come on TV, I freak out, because they're so cute." — Jennie Garth on GlamourTV. [Page Six]
• "It's a very screwed-up family. If you want to be emotionally healthy and strong, you've got to get out. It's a truly sad situation." — Griffin O'Neal, Ryan O'Neal's son (not the one who got arrested recently.) Griffin has Melorheostosis, a rare bone disease which may necessitate amputation of his left leg. [People]
• "I want to call our baby Midnight or 411. I really like information, and being a night owl, it's a good fit." — Will Arnett on his upcoming kid with Amy Poehler. [Rush & Molloy]