Jezebel: oldies

...Or Your Money Back?

Sadie — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 19:30:00 EST

Do you think some groom- or better yet, some random groomsman - ever stormed in the next day, demanding a refund? [Vintage_Ads]

"Betty Crocker's Cake Mix Secrets Help Husbands Beat Wives!"

Sadie — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 13:30:00 EST

We're guessing this is not a slogan they're using anymore. [Contexts]

Pulp Fiction

Sadie — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 15:20:00 EST

We're loving the servicey "If web services were vintage paperbacks." We, of course, would be found at left. [BoingBoing]

Cast Your Vote!

Sadie — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 15:30:00 EST

Wave goodbye to the next fifteen minutes of your workday, because you now have to go to Copyranter's "retro sexism-off" and vote for your favorite Sterling-Cooper-worth golden oldie! Will it be the MILF? The Sylph? The Tab Temptress? [Copyranter]

"Brown Is Beautiful"

Sadie — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 19:40:00 EST

And lest you think this is remotely progressive, take note: they mean "George Hamilton." And she has a bottle down her pants. [Vintage_Ads]

"Get Her In A Good, Tight Half-Nelson..."

Sadie — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 13:40:00 EDT

Wow, it's Axe's grandfather! "Hai Karate," the aftershave so powerful you'll need to violently beat off the the dames! Don't worry, self-defense manual in every package. Really. [Vintage-Ads]

No Garters Needed! Just Entitlement!

Sadie — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 19:40:00 EDT

Butler Who Asks No More Out Of Life Than to Humbly Serve You, not included. [Vintage_Ads]

Call Me Old-Fashioned, But...

Intern Katy — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 10:20:00 EDT

Sociological Images posted a smart breakdown of vintage tampon ads, which present their products as "modern" and women who do not use them as "old-fashioned." But can you imagine having to explain tampons to your mom? [Contexts]

"Through Their Hands, They Shall Learn."

Sadie — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 18:40:00 EDT

And for the time, this was probably pretty progressive. [BuzzFeed via Awful Library Books]

"Daring And Audacious?" That's One Way To Put It.

Sadie — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 18:20:00 EDT

You too can have the confidence to maul and spank your employees if you don one of these pastel shirts! [Vintage_Ads]

We're Dubious

Sadie — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 11:20:00 EDT

Live Nude Comedy, "a half-hour mix of standup comedy and modern-day burlesque," is premiering on Showtime. The "homage" to old-school variety shows, "inspired by Don Rickles' fond remembrances of working in strip clubs," will be hosted by Shannon Elizabeth. [Variety]

Spread 'Em!

Maria — Wed, 21 May 2008 11:40:00 EDT

Apparently a nice set of stems spread to frame another person is a popular motif in ads and book covers. PRINT magazine has collected examples of the "spread legs" motif over the decades and there are some striking similarities and surprises (for example, how often the aesthetic was used on men in old Western novels). But it's clear that, when using womens' bodies to shill shit, some things never change. [PRINT via Boing Boing]

Oldies But (Not So) Goodies

Dodai — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 14:45:00 EDT

"The things women have to put up with," begins this 1950 ad from Heinz. "Most husbands, nowadays, have stopped beating their wives, but what can be more agonizing to a sensitive soul than a man's boredom at meals. And yet, lady, there must be a reason. If your cooking and not your conversation is monotonous, that's easily fixed..." Sigh. (Click image to see full ad) [Torontoist]