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oldies but goodies
"Her Brains Didn't Get In Her Way"
"First her I.Q., then her beauty, brought fame and fortune to Vanessa Brown. Now, in Broadway's funniest hit, she demonstrates that nothing succeeds like sex." If you can avoid the massive pile of brains, that is. [ModernMechanix] -
oldies but goodies
"Bachelor Gals Get Nervous When An Available Male Walks In, Empty-Handed."
No, we prefer men to bear large quantities of liquor. Maybe roofies. [VintageAds] -
oldies but goodies
What's Your "Figure-Making Strategy?"
Ours is DNA. Theirs is "elasticized shirring." Oh, and "being an illustration" doesn't hurt, either. But seriously: we'd wear this, especially since "neckline and colors are as Paris prescribes them." [Vintage-Ads] -
oldies but goodies
Ted Danson Wants Teen Girls To Just Say No (To Sex)
In this vintage clip, Ted Danson reads lines/lies that guys might use to get young women into bed. Presumably, his aim is to get teen females to be too creeped out to want sex. In a sense, it's working. More » -
oldies but goodies
"Pussy Doesn't Like It, And Learns To Stay Away"
Pussy Scat, a cat repellent that protects furniture and clothing from cat claw damage, is "practically odorless and invisible to humans, but Pussy doesn't like it, and learns to stay away." Click to enlarge. [VintageAds] -
oldies but goodies
The Eyes Have It
Professional make-up artist, required for applying these properly? Not included. [Vintage Ads] -
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oldies but goodies
Insert Your Own Circumcision Joke
Ah, Nostalgia: Don't you miss the good old days, when you could hang out with your grandma, and talk about skinless wieners? [Vintage Ads] -
oldies but goodies
This Record Player Must Have Been Very, Very Popular
This young woman is very excited about her new Westinghouse record player: "Everybody's coming since I got my new Westinghouse duo!" The couple in the background seem pretty excited about this statement, as well. Click to enlarge. [Vintage Ads] -
oldies but goodies
Ron Burgundy: Canadian Mountie?
Canadians, why are you so damn smooth? Perhaps it's due to Windsor Canadian Whiskey, "the smoothest whiskey around," as everyone knows that "its got a reputation for smoothness." Did we mention that it's pretty damn smooth? Click to enlarge. [VintageAds] -
oldies but goodies
"I Guess I'm Just Too Old To Follow The Modern Ideas"
Don't worry, you can get a trial package in the mail — in a "plain wrapper," just like porn. [Vintage Ads] -
yesterday in catalogs
Frederick's Of Hollywood's Marketing Techniques Haven't Changed Much In 45 Years
Back in the day, womens' clothes were marketed as having a purpose, and that purpose was to snag a man. How else to explain this Frederick's Of Hollywood catalog from 1964? More » -
oldies but goodies
"Women Are Soft And Gentle, But They Hit Things."
"Sooner or later your wife will drive home, one of the best reasons for owning a Volkswagen." Uh oh, then she'll have some 'splaining to do! Waaaah! And did she mention she just couldn't resist that fur coat...? [Vintage-Ads] -
mouths wide open
Love & Other Indoor Sports
"Object of the game is to see which team achieves the longest trajectory for the longest time with the fewest spills." Wait, didn't we do this back in 2007? [Vintage Ads] -
oldies but goodies
Not Smoking Will Turn You Into A Real Bitch
A tipster sent us this vintage ad, wherein a woman is transformed into, well, a bitch, due to her lack of cigarettes. Stress and a lack of smokes have caused her to "yip like a terrier!" Click to enlarge. More » -
oldies but goodies
"Imagine Having That Sensual Cold Weather Look All The Time"
Thanks, but no thanks. [Vintage Ads] -
oldies but goodies
"It's Smart To Ride The Rocket!"
In case you didn't know, it's smart to ride the Rocket, ladies. And by Rocket I mean this sweet car, of course. What were you thinking? Get your mind out of the gutter! [Vintage Ads] -
oldies but goodies
Roseanne's Pot Episode
More than 15 years later, the episode in which Dan, Roseanne, and Jackie all get stoned, still holds up as one of the funniest (and most relatable?) scenes from a family sitcom. And lucky for us, it aired earlier today. -
oldies but goodies
Unmentionables
If you've ever felt like you weren't getting the support — or restriction? — you really crave, check out this post of retro foundation garment ads. Magic Oval Crotch FTW. [Vintage Ads] -
oldies but goodies
"It Works Externally, Because That's Where The Trouble Starts"
"Why take chances? Starting today, why not use Pristeen as much a part of your bath or shower. It's just as essential to your cleanliness, And to your peace of mind about being a girl. An attractive, nice-to-be-with girl." [Vintage Ads] -
booknotes
Girl Power
A tipster just drew our attention to the awesome digital version of one of our favorites: 1903's Three Hundred Things A Bright Girl Can Do (not to be confused with Three Hundred and One Things A Bright Girl Can Do, A Hundred Things a Girl Can Make or 211 Things A Clever Girl Can Do.) Among 298 others, she can do "joinery" and taxidermy! [GoogleBooks] -
oldies but goodies
'80s Sexual Harassment Video Asks: "Is It Or Isn't It?"
The video at left is an excerpt from an '80s sexual harassment training video titled "food fight." We hoped it would explain whether throwing a pie in a coworker's face is considered harassment or not, but the boss complementing his employee's cucumber handling is an amusingly cheesy alternative. [Vintage Ads] -
oldies but goodies
A Career Romance For Young Moderns: Peggy Parker, Girl Inventor
I was so excited when I found Peggy Parker: Girl Inventor at a rummage sale, but when I started reading, my happiness turned to ash. Despite taking a progressive view towards female inventors, the book is incredibly, how do I put this, racist. So, this time it's not a recommendation. More »
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oldies but goodies
How Laxatives Helped Women Be Better Workers
This 1943 ad for Sal Hepatica laxative warns that your symptoms of constipation could "slow everyone down" at your war job. Basically, the message here is "shit or get off the pot, lady." (Click image to view full version.) [Vintage Ads] More » -
oldies but goodies
"Write For Free Sweater-Girls-In-Action Illustrated Fashion Book"
What is more awkward? The pose this model has been drawn in, or the name of the product, "Tish-U-Knit"? Click to enlarge. [Vintage Ads] -
oldies but goodies
"Eve! A.D. 2000!"
According to 1930s designers, in the year 2000 and on we should be wearing "an electric headlight to help us to find an honest man." Then we can wear the glass wedding dress! [YouTube via VintageAds] -
oldies but goodies
For Men Only!
Wimminz are delicate and can't chew or process something as hearty as beef, what are you, crazy? [Sociological Images] -
oldies but goodies
"She Is The One. He Is The One. This Is The Moment."
Gotta love '80s commercials: bg hair, wild cats, odd-colored lipstick, a bare belly, singing, musk. "Sexy-igniting!" It's basically the real-life Sex Panther campaign. [Videogum] -
true crime
The Under-Bed Burglar, 1909
"But, horrors! In the morning she discovered that the scratching must have been caused by a naughty man who...had hidden under the bed until the family were all wrapped in the arms of Morpheus." [StarTribune] -
oldies but goodies
"Fat, Stubby" Cigarettes Are For Men
Women are superior, so they need a slim cigarette, with "slim" in its name, because smoking will totally keep you slim; don't you want to be slim, instead of "fat" or "stubby"? [Vintage Ads] -
oldies but goodies
Glo-Coat: Float Your Way To A Spotless Floor
Sick of heel marks on your floor? Perhaps you should purchase this magical Glo-Coat solution from what I suspect is Judy Jetson's great-great grandmother's floor wax company. Because nothing says "safe" quite like floating children. More » -
oldies but goodies
Maidenform Bra: For The Tiger Hunt Of Your Dreams
Sadly, my dreams of being outdoors in my bra are never this bizarre or glamorous. Also: probably not a good idea to try to catch a tiger in a butterfly net. Click to enlarge. [VintageAds] -
oldies but goodies
The Tragic Failure Of America's Women
Love it: "...the more they are involved with careers, the more they are idle, the more they are childless, the more they are fashionably dressed... the longer is the list of their troubles." [Village Voice] -
oldies but goodies
By "Pork" Do You Mean "Dad Hiding The Sausage"?
"Moms depend on Pork like kids depend on moms." Haha, someone cocked up this ad. Looks like they're holding dildos. Click to enlarge. Enlarge! Hahaha. [Vintage Ads] -
oldies but goodies
"I Do Have To Watch Out For My Complexion, Though"
"Dick enlisted two months before Pearl Harbor - I wanted to be doing something necessary, too, so I found my job helping to build planes." [Vintage Ads] -
oldies but goodies
Premarital Relations: Pro And Con.
Play Girl, 1965: "I'm well aware of the fact that non-virgins do manage to get married, but I'd rather not gamble on being passed from one fellow to another for sampling." [ModernMechanix] -
oldies but goodies
God Forbid!
In this ad, Parke Davis, a pharmaceutical company known for selling cocaine back in the day, offers to help menopausal women avoid "imaginary ailments" and "family scenes." Click to enlarge. [Vintage Ads] -
oldies but goodies
Cable TV Will Destroy Your Children! Beware!
Dracula? Please. Frankenstein? Whatever. The Blob? As if. Everyone knows the real monster is that terrible creature known as Cable TV. Or at least that's what this vintage anti-cable ad would like you to believe. More »
















































