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New York, 3:12 AM
Fri Dec 11
66 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #oldiesbutgoodies more →

    "If You Need A Brassiere, Wear One."

    "Unique" Always Has Such An Ominous Ring

    “'Frigidine' Dries The Tissue In The Skin, Removing It."

    Lady's Got A Gun: Moms Love Fashion, Firearms

    "O-O-Oh, Santa— I Just Love That Microsheen Shine!"

    "Play Safe With Your Young Ones—Make Sure They Get Sugar Every Day."

    "Do It Yourself… Make The Most Of You… Blow Up!!"

    "And Don't Blame Your Boss! It's Your Own Fault!"

    Style Tips From Tippi Hedren's Model Life

    "Papa Says It Won't Hurt Us"
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of NewsBunny NewsBunny
    12/09/09

    In reply to "If You Need A Brassiere, Wear One."
    Newsbunny's rules for going out with her red-haired furry orangutan of a husband:

    1) Always have bananas and bamboo in your purse

    2) Don't be afraid to groom him -- apes LOVE that!

    3) When he wants to throw his poo, let him. It's probably at someone who looked at his lady sideways, anyway! So it's a compliment!

    4) Don't argue with him about wine selection. Orangutans are very knowledgeable about wine

    5) Don't stand between an orangutan and the desert cart -- especially if cheesecake is involved

    6) Don't freak out if your orangutan date eats with his feet - it's natural!

    7) Don't speak to an orangutan before he's had his morning coffee

    8) Most orangutans are dorks. Be well-versed on 'Star Trek' (all incarnations, including latest movie) and Battledork Gallectica before accepting a date

    9) Wear comfy shoes, and perhaps bring a helmet. If your orangutan invites you home, expect to climb a tall tree to his nest!

    10) If your orangutan likes you, he will immediately attempt to mate with you. Lie back and enjoy it!
     Reply
    NewsBunny was starred NewsBunny was unstarred
    Image of funzette funzette
    12/09/09

    In reply to "If You Need A Brassiere, Wear One."
    redacted!
     Reply
    Edited by funzette at 12/09/09 1:19 PM funzette was starred funzette was unstarred
    Image of Ailatan Ailatan
    12/09/09

    In reply to "If You Need A Brassiere, Wear One."
    It doesn't look like PDA more like a Mother telling her boy he hasn't washed his ears properly.
     Reply
    Edited by Ailatan at 12/09/09 12:01 PM Ailatan was starred Ailatan was unstarred
    Image of Ailatan Ailatan
    12/09/09

    @Ailatan:
     Reply
    Ailatan was starred Ailatan was unstarred
    Image of BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit)
    12/09/09

    @Ailatan:
    Him: Wh-- what are you doing?
    Her: I'm caressing your ear.
    Him: Ow! Quit poking!
    Her: Ooh you have such an alluring canal.
    Him: That's supposed to be my line.
     Reply
    BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) was starred BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) was unstarred
    Image of Jack_Burton Jack_Burton
    12/09/09

    @Ailatan: "Hmmm. An old Q-Tip. That explains a lot about his conversational ability... And, it's a wonder he can move put one foot in front of the other."
     Reply
    Jack_Burton was starred Jack_Burton was unstarred
    Image of Little Time Bomb Little Time Bomb
    12/09/09

    @BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit): @Ailatan: I watch a lot of old movies so when Mr. Timebomb saw that photo he demanded "Is that a thing? You know from a historical prospective did that used to be erotic?"
    I had to break it to him in all my years of watching old movies I had never seen ear canal fondling used as an erotic gesture.
     Reply
    Little Time Bomb was starred Little Time Bomb was unstarred
    Image of Mary McCarthyite Mary McCarthyite
    12/09/09

    In reply to "If You Need A Brassiere, Wear One."
    Damnit! Photo won't load.
     Reply
    Edited by Mary McCarthyite at 12/09/09 11:58 AM Mary McCarthyite was starred Mary McCarthyite was unstarred
    Image of BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit)
    12/09/09

    In reply to "If You Need A Brassiere, Wear One."
    Jezebel's Tips for Single Ladies:

    #1: Never abort at the dinner table. Save it for dessert.

    #2: Never date Tiger Woods.

    #3: Bonerkilling should be done to your date's friends only, or, after the date when the boner is no longer required. Exception: the presence of a "Palin 2012!" bumper sticker on his car.

    #4: Vet your date for "Team Cake" or "Team Pie" status before you go out.

    #5: Never mention marriage to your date. You're a slaggy harridan who will never marry anyhow.
     Reply
    BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) was starred BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) was unstarred
    Image of sayah sayah
    12/09/09

    @BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit):

    6. Never date Chris Brown.

    7. Compare him to Edward Cullen, that will please his ego.
     Reply
    BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) promoted this comment sayah was starred sayah was unstarred
    Image of badmutha badmutha
    12/09/09

    @BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit): #5 - Or a secret lesbian. Don't forget that.
     Reply
    badmutha was starred badmutha was unstarred
    Image of Schrodinger's Cat Schrodinger's Cat
    12/09/09

    @BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit):
    8. Be a ranty-pants! (See how he copes.)
    9. Do not wear pants. (Opt instead for brightly-colored tights.)
    10. When removing his pants, resist the urge to crack his belt in a whip-like fashion. (This will only end badly.)
     Reply
    BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) promoted this comment Schrodinger's Cat was starred Schrodinger's Cat was unstarred
    Image of BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit)
    12/09/09

    In reply to "If You Need A Brassiere, Wear One."
    Damn it. I knew it was a mistake to chat loudly with the waiter in front of my date about the drug-and-wrinkled-stockings fueled orgy I had the week before.
     Reply
    BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) was starred BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    12/09/09

    @BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit): Wrinkled stockings? You do play hard.
     Reply
    skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of randomnessish randomnessish
    12/08/09

    In reply to "Unique" Always Has Such An Ominous Ring
    I'm pretty sure they mean "Afroman's" jet. And by "jet" I mean "Caddy"
     Reply
    randomnessish was starred randomnessish was unstarred
    Image of Lymed Lymed
    12/07/09

    In reply to "Unique" Always Has Such An Ominous Ring
    I'm very disappointed in Geena Davis.
     Reply
    Lymed was starred Lymed was unstarred
    Image of MyNameIsChris MyNameIsChris
    12/07/09

    @Lymed: What for? Supporting American Apparel?
     Reply
    MyNameIsChris was starred MyNameIsChris was unstarred
    Image of mikaelamac mikaelamac
    12/07/09

    @MyNameIsChris: Those non-eyebrows.
     Reply
    BabyJane promoted this comment mikaelamac was starred mikaelamac was unstarred
    Image of Lymed Lymed
    12/07/09

    @MyNameIsChris: For posing in an ad holding Colt 45....or at least looking like the model that posed in an ad holding Colt 45.
     Reply
    Lymed was starred Lymed was unstarred
    Image of Lymed Lymed
    12/07/09

    In reply to “'Frigidine' Dries The Tissue In The Skin, Removing It."
    Or you could just take Vitamin C supplements and let your skin take on a glow in a safe, natural way.
     Reply
    Lymed was starred Lymed was unstarred
    Image of NellMood NellMood
    12/07/09

    @Lymed: Why do that when you can climb in a machine and have lasers pointed at your face?
     Reply
    NellMood was starred NellMood was unstarred
    Image of special_boots special_boots
    12/07/09

    @Lymed: Does that work?
     Reply
    special_boots was starred special_boots was unstarred
    Image of Lymed Lymed
    12/07/09

    @special_boots: I take 6000 mg a day per my doctors orders (not for my skin). Suddenly people were commenting on my skin. I remembered I had a Trish McEvoy skin cream that had Vitamin C and did a bit of research. Your body uses Vitamin C to create collagen and Vitamin C fights free radicals. Collagen good for skin, free radicals bad.

    (I'm not advocating taking 6000 mg a day.)
     Reply
    Edited by Lymed at 12/07/09 4:03 PM Lymed was starred Lymed was unstarred
    Image of special_boots special_boots
    12/07/09

    @Lymed: Yeah, I've heard that C stimulates collagen production (but also that topical creams involving C are next to useless because it degrades so quickly in the air). But I'd never heard anyone claim to have experienced a direct link between ingesting C and nice skin.

    I'm totally adding it to my mental shopping list, since I'm pretty sure that there's not really a downside to taking a bunch of it. Gotta be better than Frigidine...
     Reply
    special_boots was starred special_boots was unstarred
    Image of Lymed Lymed
    12/07/09

    @special_boots: Somebody else in my office started taking C because of me and noticed a difference. I don't think it works magic, but maybe adds a glow.
     Reply
    Lymed was starred Lymed was unstarred
    Image of sfikus sfikus
    12/07/09

    @Lymed: Er - under doctors orders maybe. Ascorbic acid overdose usually leads to an incredible case of the scoots. Maybe that causes a glow?
     Reply
    Lymed promoted this comment sfikus was starred sfikus was unstarred
    Image of Lymed Lymed
    12/07/09

    @sfikus:I specifically said I'm taking mine under doctor orders for another reason and that I'm not advocating taking 6000 mg a day. I'll add that people should research and talk to their doctor before taking any supplement, even vitamins. 75 mg is the recommended daily dose of vitamin C.
     Reply
    Lymed was starred Lymed was unstarred
    Image of vitajex vitajex
    12/07/09

    In reply to “'Frigidine' Dries The Tissue In The Skin, Removing It."
    'Frigidine' was my FAVORITE Flip Wilson character!
     Reply
    boobookitteh promoted this comment vitajex was starred vitajex was unstarred
    Image of badmutha badmutha
    12/07/09

    @vitajex: Because what you see is what you get! WOOOOOO, baby!
     Reply
    badmutha was starred badmutha was unstarred
    Image of vitajex vitajex
    12/07/09

    @badmutha: The devil made me post it!
     Reply
    vitajex was starred vitajex was unstarred
    Image of badmutha badmutha
    12/07/09

    @vitajex: You realize no one here has any idea what we are referring to.

    #tips
     Reply
    badmutha was starred badmutha was unstarred
    Image of cocobanal cocobanal
    12/07/09

    @badmutha: Oh, I do. Next thing you know we'll be saying, "Sock it to me, baby!"
     Reply
    cocobanal was starred cocobanal was unstarred
    Image of Mary McCarthyite Mary McCarthyite
    12/07/09

    In reply to “'Frigidine' Dries The Tissue In The Skin, Removing It."
    Frigidine makes more sense to me than Botox does.
     Reply
    Mary McCarthyite was starred Mary McCarthyite was unstarred
    Image of CurtCole CurtCole
    12/07/09

    @Mary McCarthyite: Drying it out and using a carrot peeler to see what's underneath does seem more practical than saturating it in a paralytic toxin.
     Reply
    Edited by CurtCole at 12/07/09 3:41 PM CurtCole was starred CurtCole was unstarred
    Image of Mary McCarthyite Mary McCarthyite
    12/07/09

    @CurtCole: It's so DIY! With tools available to you at home!
     Reply
    Mary McCarthyite was starred Mary McCarthyite was unstarred
    Image of CurtCole CurtCole
    12/07/09

    In reply to “'Frigidine' Dries The Tissue In The Skin, Removing It."
    Apparently in 1929 people thought women's skin were like ears of corn, husk away what doesn't work!
     Reply
    Edited by CurtCole at 12/07/09 3:37 PM CurtCole was starred CurtCole was unstarred
    Image of JessicaLovejoy: Laughing, riding, cornholing! JessicaLovejoy: Laughing, riding, cornholing!
    12/07/09

    In reply to “'Frigidine' Dries The Tissue In The Skin, Removing It."
    I would be eating my heart out if my jaw could move!
     Reply
    JessicaLovejoy: Laughing, riding, cornholing! was starred JessicaLovejoy: Laughing, riding, cornholing! was unstarred
    Image of Dodgergirl Dodgergirl
    12/07/09

    In reply to “'Frigidine' Dries The Tissue In The Skin, Removing It."
    I don't understand. Are they threatening to remove her face with a laser? Or is she going to have her helmet put on so she can resume her life as Darth Frigidine?
     Reply
    Dodgergirl was starred Dodgergirl was unstarred
    Image of NellMood NellMood
    12/07/09

    In reply to “'Frigidine' Dries The Tissue In The Skin, Removing It."
    Why is tissue removal a positive thing? That sounds like a medical problem... I do love how glam the woman looks inside that terrifying, medieval-torture-device machine, though.
     Reply
    NellMood was starred NellMood was unstarred
    Image of BuffySummers BuffySummers
    12/07/09

    @NellMood: Sounds a lot like microdermabrasion to me, though i admittedly know pretty much nothing about what that actually entails.
     Reply
    NellMood promoted this comment BuffySummers was starred BuffySummers was unstarred
    Image of NellMood NellMood
    12/07/09

    @BuffySummers: Oh, interesting. Microdermabrasion is one of those words I constantly read about in magazines but don't know anything about.
     Reply
    NellMood was starred NellMood was unstarred
    Image of badmutha badmutha
    12/07/09

    @NellMood: My thoughts exactly.
     Reply
    badmutha was starred badmutha was unstarred
    Image of badmutha badmutha
    12/07/09

    @NellMood: No microderm is more like scrubbing your face really hard. It stings, but only for a minute. And it is non-chemical.
     Reply
    badmutha was starred badmutha was unstarred
    Image of pajanguin pajanguin
    12/07/09

    @NellMood: medieval-torture-device

    True story: back in the middle ages, aristocratic European women would paint their faces with white lead to get that coveted pale look.

    It also, eventually, made their faces basically melt off.

    The Beauty Industry: removing the bulk of women's faces since 1237 AD.
     Reply
    NellMood promoted this comment pajanguin was starred pajanguin was unstarred
    Image of NellMood NellMood
    12/07/09

    @pajanguin: That's amazing! And horrifying-- mostly horrifying.
     Reply
    NellMood was starred NellMood was unstarred
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