Jezebel 
Enter your username and password.
-
posts about #oldestprofessions more → 
Sugar Daddies: Easier Than Work-Study For College Students
New York, 10:57 AM
Wed Nov 11
68 posts in the last 24 hours
Tip your editors:
tips@jezebel.com
Editor-in-Chief:
Anna Holmes
Email | Twitter
Deputy Editor:
Dodai Stewart
Email | Twitter
Senior Contributing Editor:
Tracie Egan
Email | Twitter
Contributing Editors:
Anna North
Email | Twitter
Sadie Stein
Email | Twitter
Reporter:
Irin Carmon
Email
Editorial Assistant:
Margaret Hartmann
Email | Twitter
Contributors:
Jenna Sauers
Email
Rich Juzwiak
Email | Twitter
Lizzie Skurnick
Email
Interns:
Katy Kelleher
Twitter
| posts about #oldestprofessions more → |
Sugar Daddies: Easier Than Work-Study For College Students |
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
12/02/08
(That being said I know prostitutes who are fine with what they do and think brothels should be legal. Gah.)
12/01/08
I'd bet that the women who try to "rain on your parade" are responding to your haughty attitude, as opposed to acting out this theory of universal jealousy you've constructed in your spare time.
My idea of "winning the lottery" would be arguing in front of the Supreme Court someday. Hell, I don't even have to win. Just let me in the door. Can your partner make that happen? No? Okay. Then don't make assumptions about the universal jealousy you inspire, pumpkin.
12/01/08
12/01/08
As long as there is a contribution to the survival of the potential mother the Biological contract has been fulfilled. The contribution can be time, effort, money, inclusion in community…. the possibilities of what the contribution can be are varied and personal to the individual, but generally align into 2 categories - Emotional and/or Financial (Tangible)
Prostitution, when legal, and when both parts of the agreed upon terms are met, is the purest example of the biological contract being fulfilled. It is the only relationship where the male-female balance of power is 100% equal. Prostitution's illegality keeps the power overwhelmingly balanced in favor of males, obviously in the prostitute-customer relationship, but also in society as a whole by denying women the right to use the most direct route of Biological Contract fulfillment.
12/01/08
12/01/08
I would love the extra money, but it wouldn't do me any good to have it. The things I would want to spend it on are: time with my friends, cable, and to a lesser extent, nicer clothes/apartment fixings/etc. But this would only be fun if all my friends were in similar relationships. I can't very well make my friends go to expensive restaurants when they're all as broke as I am, and it would be weird for them and me to treat all the time. I wouldn't have time to watch my cable, because I'd be boning my SD all the time. And I can live without the nicer stuff. It would be super stressful to have to spend that money in ways that wouldn't tip off my friends and fam.
SIGH.
Also, my mom would totally find out and have a damn cow.
However, if somebody can swing this type of relationship, that's fine by me. I see nothing necessarily creepy or un-feminist about it. Hell, someday, if I'm rich, I might provide some incentive for a hot young college student to keep me company in bed, too. Calling Nate Archibald...
12/01/08
Yes, it's nice that you worked in a nasty minimum wage job all through college because you didn't care about being comfortable and all that jazz, but that was your choice and this is hers and you're not necessarily a better person that her because of it.
Jezebel has gotten awfully judgey lately. And not about things that anyone deserves to be judged for.
12/01/08
12/01/08
12/02/08
But like her, I'm in a situation where my parents (and grandparents, thank you for the college fund Pop Pop!) pay my tuition, room & board, and airfare to get home for breaks. I pay all my 'extras'- booze, take out, movies, shopping, etc. And I'm managing quite well by working a real job, one I can put on my resume. I've done retail, summer camps, a paid summer internship, been a TA, and I'm hunting for next semester's gig right now- hopefully office assistant at the Women's Studies Research Center?
And I'm maintaining my standard of living quite well. In fact, I'm less concerned about money than many of my peers. Because I'm working, and saving, and reaching towards financial independence. My problem with this woman's arrangement is that she isn't even attempting financial independence, which is part of growing up. Your parents stop paying for shit. It's that simple. Does she want to be dependent on someone else to pay her bills for the rest of her life? Because I don't. I won't even let my parents buy me unnecessary shit at this point. And she's letting this man buy her everything that she could do without.
Learn to pay your own way, so that you can be your own. fucking. person.
12/01/08
12/01/08
12/01/08
12/01/08
12/01/08
I'm a 50-something guy, and I have a 20-year-old sugar baby. Nowhere near what's described in this story-- I work a real job and my SB (Jess) is a community college student-- but I make her car payment, take her on shopping sprees, give her cash, and basically make her life a hell of a lot easier, probably to the tune of $1k/month, though I don't add it up. She is the third in a series going back about five years. I meet them on Craigslist, general in response to an ad they've placed.
What do I get out of it? Sex, obviously; great sex, with someone I wouldn't be able to attract in a million years otherwise. Companionship: I like waking up on Sunday morning next to a very attractive young woman, without her being all up in my life the rest of the time. There are more nebulous things, too, though: I get the feeling that I am helping this young woman by smoothing her way through this part of her life.
Is this weird? Maybe a little, though it feels less weird each time, and as time passes in this "relationship." Am I emotionally broken? Perhaps, but not in any way that I feel needs to be fixed. I've had more traditional relationships, and like everyone's they've ranged from spectacular to awful with most of the in the "pretty good" zone. Perhaps I will again, but right now this meets my needs.
Someone up-thread mentioned that it was all about control. I can't speak for anyone else, but there isn't much control going on here. Jess is perfectly welcome to tell me "no," and does on occasion. She has her life, and lives it the way she wants when she's not with me. If she says "no" too often, we'd probably have to have a talk about it, but it hasn't happened yet.
What does she get out of it? Obviously the money makes her life one hell of a lot easier. I get no sense that she has any moral dilemma about what she's doing. We're affectionate, but neither of is in love or even looking for it. She gets a mature, stable guy to lean on when she needs it, and who doesn't make unreasonable demands on her the rest of the time. She gets to eat out at some nice places, dresses better than she could otherwise, and gets to talk about things other than the latest boy band or who got kicked off American Idol this week. And when she graduates, she's got an "in" with a guy who's pretty well connected in the worlds of business and finance who can help her get a leg up in an really tough economy.
Of course, all that I've said may be total projection. She may be an Oscar-quality actress and she really hates every second we're together and is in it strictly for the cash. But I don't this so. The whole "relationship" (I hesitate to use that word, but I don't know a better one) is a lot more complicated than many posters here seem to think, and I wanted to add my view from a different perspective.
12/01/08
12/01/08
12/01/08
Adismalscience - is that you ?
12/01/08
12/01/08
12/02/08
And some people don't assume there is a specific other person they should be with. We are generally compatible with different people at different moments in our lives, and having relationship A in one moment doesn't impede us from having relationship B in another.
Just because it is wrong for you doesn't mean it's wrong for everyone.
12/12/08
Something is terribly awry here.
12/01/08
People keep assuming that she & her "sugar daddy" (a disgusting term) don't actually care for one another. They have an arrangement, sure, but does that conclude they just meet for meaningless sex and then she goes out to get a spa treatment or two? Contextually, it's not accurate. She said that he insisted she start a nest egg for herself. This implies that he is concerned about her and her future, and not just about when she can get her vagina to his place.
This is a learning experience for her. I think it's just as character-building as struggling to pay rent can be. This is her particular path, and whether or not she regrets it later and becomes a professional career woman, or ends up loving it and becomes a professional trophy wife, it's still her path.
Judgment, therefor, is indicative of a displeasure with one's own particular path.
12/01/08
Nice rationalizing there. Methinks you doth protest a little too much.
12/01/08
12/01/08
Frankly, I don't judge the girl. If it works for her, and if it's that important for her to have the "killer wardrobe" without doing any real work, fine. Her choice.
BUT, if on an interview the guy propositioned me to be his mistress, I'd f*cking sock him in the face. And then maybe check out the website on my own, but that's a different story.
12/01/08
12/01/08
12/01/08
I would seriously raise up a stink about it, as I fucking hate sexism -and a blatant one at that- in the workplace.
12/01/08
Snipe and judge away all you want, ladies. Some of us are just more enterprising than you.
12/01/08
12/01/08
12/01/08
I understand that you find some of the comments offensive, and if you hadn't added that last line, your input would have been much more valuable in opening up the discussion. Perhaps I am misreading your intent.
12/01/08
12/01/08
I think a lot of people just CAN'T WAIT to be offended so they can jump and snark; just look at the rest of this thread. Feminism is about doing whatever the fuck you want and supporting other chicks who do the same. So chill. Stories like this aren't always deserving of heavy sociopolitical discourse and deconstruction.
12/01/08
12/01/08
12/01/08
In the words of Walter Sobchak, "Calmer than you are, dude."
12/01/08
Point being, let's not forget that people have different personalities. To each his/her own, and all that good stuff, okay?
12/01/08
12/01/08
12/01/08
12/01/08
But on the other hand...I have a rent check in my purse, and I didn't write it. I clear expenses, but without the support of my fiance, who's four and a half years older than me, I'd be effectively homeless. Without him, I wouldn't have made it through my last semester of college, when I had to quit my job(s) and still just barely managed to graduate. Now I know the arguments: we're in love, we're a partnership, my value in the relationship is not defined by the amount of money I bring into it. Still, other than the intangible qualities of being in a relationship (and the tangible amount of money spent), how is her situation much different than mine? I like to think it's different, so as to save my already failing self-respect. After all, I pay for my car, my student loans, my trips to the bookstore (except during football season, and that's more of a consolation prize). But, ya know...what's the difference?
12/01/08
12/01/08
As for her, whatever, to each their own, though she's in for a big let down when he gets bored.
12/01/08
+ Watch video
12/01/08
12/01/08
12/01/08