Jezebel: old ladies

10 Things You May Have Missed On TV This Week

Tracie — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 16:00:00 EDT

In this week's compilation of pop culture crap, a woman celebrates her 105th birthday at a male strip club, Barbara Walters gets scary, and Chaz Bono opens up about sex reassignment.

1.) 105-year-old celebrates birthday at male revue

Love her. I also love her door-knocker earrings, purple nails, and Baby Phat track suit.

2.) Glassy-eyed Fanilow
Paula Abdul attended a Barry Manilow concert, where Entertainment Tonight caught up with her backstage.

3.) Hailey Glassman
Jon Gosselin's girlfriend was on The Insider this week to discuss how hard it is being famous. In this clip, she pays Kate Gosselin a compliment, then insults her, then goes into detail about when Jon first stuck his ween in her.

4.) Boys don't cry.
Mary Hart tried her damnedest—during her exclusive interview with Chaz Bono regarding his sex reassignment process—to get Chaz to break down and cry over how horrible all of this must've been for him. Chaz wouldn't bite. It's kinda great watching him kind of get off on being withholding.

5.) Big-ass joint
In the History Channel's docu-drama Manson, the reenactment of Dennis Wilson getting high with the Family seemed cartoonish.

6.) Man down, code 10!
Keyshia Cole's mom Frankie hosted BET's Red Carpet pre-show for the Hip Hop Awards.

7.) Babs!
She was in rare form this week.

Really rare.

8.) Holly Montag
Who would've thought that Heidi's sister would turn out to spike the punch of The Hills with her dance "fights."

9.) "Nuptial Decadence"
Why does that term sound so delicious?

10.) Ew.
I don't know which is more disturbing: the fact that the woman in this commercial is afraid of her husband, or the fact that frozen mussels actually exist.

Cougar Town: Based On A True Story?

Intern Katy — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 11:20:00 EDT

Wok Kundor is 107. She is currently on her 22nd marriage to a man 70 years her junior. But she also has her eye on another potential hubby, who she considers a backup, in case No. 22 bails. [CNN]

Daredevil Grandma Hang-Glides, Skydives • Semenya Withdraws From Championships

Intern Katy — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 17:30:00 EDT

• 79-year-old Susie Mann was diagnosed with terminal intestinal cancer. Instead of giving up, Mann has decided to live out her "bucket list," and go hang-gliding, skydiving, swimming with the dolphins, and hiking the Grand Canyon on a donkey. •

• For the first time since the 1939 World's Fair, New Yorkers will be able to see Vermeer's famous painting "The Milkmaid". It will be on display at the Met, alongside all 36 known paintings by the Dutch master. • Over 15 years ago, a fertility clinic at the University of California, Irvine, made the news for giving away embryos without consent. Two dozen lawsuits resulting from the mixed up embryos have finally been settled, but Shirel and Steve Crawford are still searching for their biological children. "Our children are out there somewhere," Shirel said, "maybe someday they will find us." • We mentioned yesterday the disappearance of Yale University graduate student Annie Le, who has still not yet been found. The FBI has joined in the search for Le, and in a horrible/ironic twist, MSNBC reports that Le wrote an article earlier this year on how to stay safe on campus. • An Australian teenager could be sentenced to seven years in prison for taking RU-486 to induce an abortion at her home — the drug is illegal to take without medical supervision. • Caster Semenya has withdrawn from South Africa's national cross country championships this Saturday. Her coach says she's "not feeling well." • The first transsexual marriage in Iran is set to take place, but only after the transman is medically examined to "prove it would be a proper male-female relationship." Surprisingly, Iran carries out more sex change operations than any country aprart from Thailand, but this will be the first time a transsexual marriage is made legal. •

Nonagenarian Drummer Rocks Out

Intern Katy — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 09:20:00 EDT

Even though Jerrie Thrill is in her 90s and hooked up to an oxygen tank, she is still beating away on her drums (and wearing sweet heels!). Click through to watch a wonderful tribute by Allee Willis. [BuzzFeed]

Janeane Garofalo: Cranky "Old" Broad

Dodai — Fri, 29 May 2009 19:00:00 EDT

Last night on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, a very grumpy Janeane complained about coffee, bitched about Twitter, grumbled about male footwear and generally sounded like a crotchety old lady. If only she'd screamed, "Get off my lawn!" Instead, she sniped, "I was born in the 1920s." Clip mashup, left.

Hell's Belles

Tracie — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 09:45:00 EDT

An 86-year-old woman, Elizabeth Maropoulos, was walking home from church on Sunday morning in her NYC neighborhood when she was accosted by a mugger half her age. Instead of just turning her purse over to him, she attacked back, "Once I realized he was coming after me, I went kick, kick!" she said. "I wasn't scared." The assailant, 44-year-old Earl Wearing, did manage to knock Maropoulos down and get her purse, but was nabbed soon afterwards and arrested. Apparently Maropoulos has a rep in her 'hood for being someone not to be fucked with. A bartender in her local bar said, "She's taken swings at [troublemakers] and chased them with a broom. She's out there at night directing traffic and bouncing." [NY Post]

"How Do I Tell My Roommate She Has Sex Too Loudly?"

Tracie — Fri, 30 May 2008 18:00:00 EDT

It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the advice column in which everyone's problems are solved with an "herbal" remedy. (Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this episode, we're takin' it to the streets, or rather, the park, to seek out those in need of our valuable insight. Rich, tiny pianist Gavin McInnes, and I answered questions about how to make gay friends and what to do with flaccid peens. (Bear with us, our microphone situation got messed up, and the audio is a little fuzzy.) Got a burning question? Send it to tips@jezebel.com with "Pot Psychology" in the subject line. (Please keep them short; they're verrrry hard to read when stoned.)

Joan Rivers Says She's A Bigger Slut Than Barbara Walters

Tracie — Wed, 28 May 2008 13:30:00 EDT

Joan Rivers stopped by The View this morning. She's always a lot of fun, even when she's making crazy, old lady racial statements (like today when she said her Chinese translator had a "stupid name"). But what really made me wince/laugh was when she complained that she's slept with all the same men Barbara Walters has, and then some. Clip above.

Our favorite salty old lady Doris Lessing...

Tracie — Mon, 12 May 2008 15:20:00 EDT

Our favorite salty old lady Doris Lessing is still all grumpy about having won the 2007 Nobel Prize for literature, calling it a "bloody disaster." She says that all the attention has been less than constructive, "All I do is give interviews and spend time being photographed." The 88-year-old also says that she's no longer writing because she no longer has the energy. Or maybe she's simply just fed up with it all, after her latest work Alfred and Emily, a fictionalized biography of her parents, received mixed reviews. [BBC, Telegraph]

103-Year-Old Woman Tugs At Tyra's Weave

Tracie — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 15:30:57 EDT

Yesterday's Tyra was all about how we can live a longer life, so she had on two centenarians from the Jewish Home and Hospital in NYC: Clara, 103 and Julia, 105. They're totally adorable, and Julia even brought a present for Tyra, a homemade afghan. But our fave is Clara, mainly because we really related to her in the way she reacted to Tyra. She was easily distracted by her weave, didn't really answer Tyra's stupid questions, and made the comment, "I've traveled all the world, and I've never come across something like this." Ha!