D.C. police are investigating the incident and Detective Michael Baylor has been put on desk duty in the meantime. Police Chief Cathy L. Lanier said in a statement that it was "obvious" Baylor, who was off-duty and in plain clothes, pulled his weapon in response to thrown snowballs hitting his Hummer. "Let me be very clear in stating that I believe the actions of the officer were totally inappropriate!," she continued, "In no way should he have handled the situation in this manner." • Police have recovered the metal sign from the entrance to the Auschwitz concentration camp, which was stolen on Friday. The "Arbeit macht frei" sign was found in a house cut up in three pieces. Five men from the north of Poland were arrested. Police say they weren't Neo-Nazis, just "ordinary criminals." • Israeli archaeologists have discovered the remains of a home from Jesus' time in the heart of Nazareth. "The building that we found is small and modest and it is most likely typical of the dwellings in Nazareth in that period," said excavation director Yardenna Alexandre. "Until now a number of tombs from the time of Jesus were found in Nazareth; however, no settlement remains have been discovered that are attributed to this period." • This is the third Christmas Amanda Knox will spend in jail and she won't be able to see her family on Christmas because it is not a visiting day. Her mother Edda Mellas says, "She had her tough moments. There were some tears just because she wants out of there and she's just really scared that this mess is not going to get fixed." • Dong Fangxiao and Yang Yun, the two Chinese gymnasts suspected of being only 14 when they competed in the Sydney Olympics, met this weekend with the International Gymnastics Federation's disciplinary commission. Gymnasts must turn 16 in an Olympic year to compete. The commission is expected to make a decision about the girl, who each won a bronze medal, in February. • Today the Obama administration ordered airlines to let people get off planes delayed on the ground after three hours. The airlines said they'll comply with the regulations, which go into effect in 120 days, but threatened it would only result in more cancelled flights. "The requirement of having planes return to the gates within a three-hour window or face significant fines is inconsistent with our goal of completing as many flights as possible. Lengthy tarmac delays benefit no one," said Air Transport Association President and CEO James May. • In a survey of 1,000 middle school students, researchers found that boys explore advanced cell phone features more than girls. "Boys are often taught to explore and be more creative with technology and not to be afraid to take things apart. So it leads to more advanced cell phone uses among boys," said study author Sheila Cotten. • A study of 381 girls, aged 14 to 17 living in U.S. cities found about half acquire at lead one of three STDS — chlamydia, gonorrhea, or trichomoniasis — within two years of becoming sexually active. "This is important because many clinicians are reluctant to address sexual activity with younger teens, and may miss important prevention opportunities," said lead author Dr. J. Dennis Fortenberry, of the Indiana University School of Medicine. • British priest Tim Jones is being criticized for telling his congregation that they should shoplift rather than turning to "prostitution, mugging, or burglary," if they are very poor. He said in his sermon: "My advice, as a Christian priest, is to shoplift. I do not offer such advice because I think that stealing is a good thing, or because I think it is harmless, for it is neither... I would ask that they do not steal from small family businesses, but from large national businesses, knowing that the costs are ultimately passed on to the rest of us in the form of higher prices." • Mark Hughes, the pastor of the Church of the Rock in Canada, says the lesson to be learned from a 17-year-old boy and an 18-year-old girl being sentenced to two years in prison for planning a mass murder at the church is that parents should be aware of "gothic youth culture" and vampires. "There is some really dark stuff out there online and other places," Hughes said. "Too many parents are clued out as to what their kids are up to ... when I look at the latest rage in youth movies, it seems to me that pop culture is glorifying the dark spiritual world." • George and Lina Tannous say their son Mike, who died three years ago in a car accident at age 17, should be Australia's first male saint. They say the mysterious oil that leaks from his bedroom walls has healed people. "Our boy is a saint. This is him talking to us, talking to other people," said George Tannous. • A British woman was temporarily blinded when her eyes were glued shut during an eye lash tinting treatment at a beauty salon. She had the procedure done regularly, but this time her eyes got red and swelled shut. A week later, her vision is still blurry, but the salon insists, "any reaction this lady suffered was as a result of any treatment that she received at the salon." • USA Today reports that fast food chains have found "that the triple combo of hot babes, fast food and webcams work well to draw hard-to-reach teen guy prime customers to their sites and, ultimately, into stores." Kim Kardashian has been chatting via webcam with Carl's Jr. customers about the chain's salads and a U.K. Burger King ad features the "Shower Babe," a woman people can watch singing in the shower in a bikini every day. "It's as if we're back in the 1950s the way pop culture portrays women, but with New Age technology," says Terry O'Neill, president of the National Organization for Women. •

• The Olsen twins are launching a new juniors' collection for JC Penney, home of the brands Kimora Lee Simmons, Bisou Bisou, and Charlotte Ronson. It'll be called Olsenboye and is expected in stores this spring. [The Cut]

• The Olsens, plus Alexander Wang, Erin Fetherston, Jenna Lyons of J. Crew, Maria Pinto, and several others were officially inducted into the Council of Fashion Designers of America — "the Kiwanis Club of our business," as David Rees put it — on Wednesday night. After someone explained to Mary-Kate what the save the garment center campaign was about — the lax enforcement of existing zoning laws has allowed landlords in the area supposedly reserved for apparel companies to lease instead to higher-paying kinds of commercial tenants, driving up rents — she said she was totally for it. "We need it, as well. I hope we can save it," she said. [WWD]
• "As a child, I never saw a confident woman — I only saw women being abused," says Mary J. Blige. The singer has just opened the new Mary J. Blige Center for Women in the city of Yonkers, where she grew up. It's intended to educate, empower, and encourage women. "I want every girl and woman who walks through this door to know that she is loved — no matter who is telling her she isn't loved," says the singer. Gucci's Frida Giannini turned up to the opening, and an unspecified portion of the profit from sales of a Gucci women's watch costing $1,895 will be donated to Blige's charity. Giannini was also in town to open Gucci's pop-up shop in SoHo, which will showcase Mark Ronson's alleged "sneaker" for the brand. [WWD]
• First, there was the Sportiletto. And now, behold: The Lamborghini Heel. [FWD]
• From former New York Times food critic and memoirist Frank Bruni's Twitter: "Anna Wintour comes to Marea, orders chicken, with avocado salad, neither on menu. What's the point?" [Twitter]
• Tom Ford says the process of directing A Single Man, his adaptation of the Isherwood novel, has been about "coming to terms with the fact that I do spend so much of my life working in the material world. But as long as you keep it in perspective and don't take it too seriously, I think fashion is a great thing that adds quality to our lives. It doesn't mean that a beautiful pair of shoes isn't still beautiful. But if you lose them, big deal, because they don't really mean anything other than to be able to say, 'Wow, look at my feet. Aren't they pretty?'" [Out]
• Christian Louboutin has created a special carrier bag that includes a bottle of champers and a crystal champagne flute shaped like a stiletto. The package, known as Le Rituel, costs $500, and you can watch a 3-minute film about it here. [WWD]
• He made this bubbly slipper-sipper instead of doing a diffusion line for H&M. That sound just then was our hearts breaking. [The Cut]
• Burberry is getting into the cosmetics business. It won't happen till next summer, but expect a full line — about 100 products for face, lips, and eyes — when it does. [WWD]
• Manolo Blahnik does not want to talk about platforms, which he is relieved to note are finally falling from prominence. "Don't talk to me about platforms. I've done it all before. It bores me now. I want shoes to be beautiful, so women walk beautifully. Shoes should be beautiful — Oh, and of course, a little fun also." [Telegraph]
• Project Runway's Kit Scarbo, who does not skate, is doing a women's line with the skateboard brand Etnies. [The Cut]
• According to one student who took notes on Amy Astley's recent talk at FIDM, Teen Vogue is working on a new TV show. The mag's last dalliance with the medium resulted in The Hills. [Jazzi McG]
• Someone who is a really big fan of Hedi Slimane made this claymation video of an imaginary rock band, clad entirely in Slimane's Dior collections. [YoungestIndie]
• A kind of full-length women's chenille robe marketed by Pennsylvania company Blair is being recalled. The highly flammable robes have been linked to nine deaths so far. [NBC]

• John Travolta allegedly refused medical help after his son Jett suffered a seizure — which is why the paramedics in the Bahamas were trying to blackmail him.

Reportedly, Travolta wanted the ambulance to drive his son to an airport so he could be flown back to the US for treatment — instead of to the island hospital, 45 minutes away. [Daily Mail, Mirror]

• John Travolta will be the first witness called today. And there may be a secret videotape which allegedly shows the attempted extortion. [TMZ]
• Jaclyn Smith is not dead, despite what Perez Hilton has reported. He apparently mistranslated a story about her stunt double's suicide attempt. Smith's Twitter reads: "Jaclyn is safe and home with her family. She is not in Honduras. It is a lie." [Vancouver Sun]
• Just to clarify: Jaclyn Smith's former stunt double — from her Charlie's Angels days — may have attempted suicide and may be in critical condition, but Jaclyn Smith is fine. [E!]
• Two photographers are suing Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen, claiming the couple's bodyguard shot at them outside the Costa Rican estate where the couple were having wedding celebrations. [NY Daily News]
• Congrats to Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr., who welcomed newborn daughter Charlotte Grace Prinze on Saturday. [Page Six]
• Mickey Rourke will play The Ice Man in a movie about a a sadistic Mafia hit man who murdered more than 200 people. [Page Six]
• In court documents, Britney's American Express card charges for the first 11 months of her conservatorship have been revealed: She spent $5,183.13 on restaurants; $10,096.53 on travel and $17,370.29 on furniture. [TMZ]
• Chloë Sevigny and Jason Segel drink champagne and eat chocolate and kiss and hold hands and so on. [Page Six]
• Beyoncé has rescheduled a concert in Malaysia after canceling what was supposed to be her first show there. Scheduling conflicts? Or the country's strict dress code? [UPI]
• How much would you love to see Will Ferrell sing a karaoke version of "Wanted Dead Or Alive"? [Page Six]
• Get well soon, Megan Mullally! She was injured in a car crash last week, and while the injuries are minor, she had to cancel performances of her play The Receptionist in L.A. [TMZ]
• According to a court order, Aerosmith's concert next month in Hawaii must be of the same "quality, type and duration" as a regular Aerosmith concert: No half-assing it with a 30-minute gig. [People]
• Billy Joel has a new lady in his life, a "Katie Lee-esqe brunette" named Deborah Dampiere. [HuffPo]
• The Jay Leno Show has lost more than two-thirds of its initial viewers. [USA Today]
• A woman connected to Michael Jackson's personal physician (Dr. Conrad Murray) — she may be his girlfriend — has been ordered to testify before a grand jury in Los Angeles. [CBS News]
• New details in the Anna Nicole Smith case: Two nannies who worked for Anna claim they saw Howard K. Stern and Dr. Khristine Eroshevich inject drugs into Anna's system. Afterward, she would be all messed up — falling in the house; sleeping for two or three days at a time. [TMZ]
• In addition, there are legal documents stating that Anna Nicole Smith and her shrink, Dr. Khristine Eroshevich, took nude pictures together in a bathtub and their relationship "crossed the boundaries of professionalism." [TMZ]
• There will be a court session for the Anna Nicole Smith case this morning, and Howard K. Stern could be charged with 11 different felony counts. [TMZ]
• Take a minute and read this interview with Charlotte Gainsbourg, about her experience shooting Lars von Trier's Antichrist. She talks about panic attacks, self-harm, working with a porn actor (or trying to) and doing movies with taboo subjects like incest. And she says: "Lars does portray his own fear of women and the sexuality of women. It's not at all a hatred against women-it's really quite the opposite. He's sincere in the way that he's talking about his own fears, his own questions, but he's not accusing women… Of course, [my character] has some kind of an evil part to her, but for me, it had a lot to do with the grieving and going into madness. And then the act of physically cutting herself was the extreme of madness and just trying, with her guilt, to-there's no way of coping with it, so how do you hurt yourself in the most horrific way?" [Village Voice]
• Alexandra Richards was hired to DJ a party but left after 38 minutes to go have dinner — yet she expected to be paid for the full 3 hours her contract stipulated. [Page Six]
• Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough: Maybe back on, if you care. [Page Six]
• Friends and family attended the funeral of Jasmine Fiore over the weekend, and "everyone was crying." [NY Times]
• "The cow's a diva; it's a little known fact.  She's not very giving." — Josh Jackson on his costar in Fox TV show Fringe. [Teen Television]
• "What I try to do is take the best bits of my mother's charitable work and the best bits of my father's charitable work and do them both together. I'm not in their league, but I'm warming up, hopefully, and I'm trying to do what I can." — Prince William. [Telegraph]
• "I was funny in school. I was funny in the classroom. I really got tired of giving it away for free. People say, 'How can you talk all day?' I could do it on the phone or do it on television. A painter paints. I yak yak all day." — Joy Behar, whose new show on HLN (formerly Headline News) begins next week. [WaPo]
• "I saw her on a chat show. I'd worked with her before on Alias and she's always happy and always pleasant to everyone really and when she swears she says thing like 'darnit' and 'darn' — now even The Waltons go a bit (further). Her favourite swear word is 'rats' - that's not a swear word! Rats isn't a swear word." — Ricky Gervais on Jennifer Garner, who he calls "Miss Goody Two Shoes." [Mirror]
• "This was a very joyous moment where I've got new life. It was also a very sorrowful moment, where my sister had gone on, and the family that donated the kidney had lost their daughter as well. My first reaction was that I wished I were back on dialysis to have my sister. These two people had left this earth – and I was here. Why? I feel like I don't deserve it." — Natalie Cole, on getting a life-saving kidney transplant and then learning that her sister Cookie had passed away. [People]
• "I was about 24 years old, and I had tons of acne. I met some random girl on a bus who told me to quit dairy and all those symptoms would go away three days later. By God, she was right." — Woody Harrelson. [Page Six]
• "She's not playing the victim! The press plays the victim for her. All the stories about her-'She's so lonely.' Please! She's having the time of her life! She goes to Mexico every other weekend with her girlfriends, while Angelina and Brad shuffle their kids across country. Would you rather wake up with a margarita or eight children?" — Chelsea Handler, on Jennifer Aniston, who will be a guest on Chelsea's show. [Village Voice]

[Dhaka, Bangladesh; September 14. Image via Getty]

A Bangladeshi left-of-centre political activist holds a placard as she takes part in demonstrations during a half day general strike in Dhaka on September 14, 2009. The strike was called by left-of-centre political parties after the government announced it would give drilling rights for gas and oil in the Bay of Bengal to US energy giant ConocoPhillips and Irish company Tullow. The half-day hartal in the Bangladeshi capital is the first since Prime Minister Sheikh Hasina came to power in January, but police reported none of the violence that was commonplace in previous strikes in the city. AFP PHOTO/Munir uz ZAMAN (Photo credit should read MUNIR UZ ZAMAN/AFP/Getty Images)

Of course, roasts are intended as a parade of the foulest, most offensive, base jokes. And while the ones about Joan could understandably be interpreted as misogynist - and wholly unoriginal - apparently everybody's appearances/genitals were fair game. (Tom Arnold got grief for being fat, Brad Garrett for looking like Frankenstein, and Carl Reiner for having old, saggy balls.) Besides, Joan was laughing the whole time. (Or at least, the minimal movement in her face seemed to imply so.)

My favorite part, though, was when Joan went after Gilbert Gottfried for having the longest set. I love that she made fun of him for not having his eyes open.

• Adam Lambert put an end to the speculation about his sexuality by going out to a nightclub last night with his boyfriend Drake LaBry. The two held hands and occasionally kissed.

• "When people saw Adam walk in all heads turned in his direction," said a source. "And it was obvious Adam was so proud to be there with Drake. So proud. As people were coming over to meet the singer Adam made a point to turn to Drake and introduce him to the crowd as his boyfriend." [Star]
• Michael Jackson told the promoter who is planning to sue him to perform in a concert with Janet Jackson and the Jackson 5 that he will do the concert in 2010. However, the promoter says he doesn't trust Jackson's word and he'll still sue unless he signs a contract. [TMZ]
• Diversity, the dance group that beat Susan Boyle, has already been booked by Kanye West to performat the Wireless Festival at London's Hyde Park in July, and it's rumored the Michael Jackson wants to work with them. [The Sun]
• Seven out of 10 Brits think Susan Boyle shouldn't have been allowed to appear on Britain's Got Talent according to a survey of 3,000 people. The article notes that she has "learning difficulties," and that people feel contestants on reality shows should undergo psychological testing before competing. [The Telegraph]
• At the trial yesterday of Tiny Virginia Makopo, the former matron of Oprah's school for girls, a teacher testified that Makopo forced one of the girls to watch pornography. [The Daily Mail]
• Here's some clips of Spencer and Heidi Pratt on the first episode of I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here complaining that they're big celebrities, and they want NBC executives to get them out of there. It's may be fake drama for the cameras. Bonus: At the end of the clip Heidi eats a rat's tail. [TMZ]
• Or maybe it's not so fake. After Spencer and Heidi Pratt quit and rejoined the show several times during the first episode, NBC flew in Daniel Baldwin to join his brother Stephen Baldwin, who is already in the jungle, and Holly Montag, Heidi's sister. [People]
• Last night Lauren Conrad's last episode of The Hills aired. She wrote on her blog: It was a bittersweet night for me. A part of me is sad to say goodbye to something that has been such a prominent part of my life, but I know that it was time and I am very happy with my decision," adding, "From what I've heard the next season will not disappoint." [Perez Hilton]
• Last night's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 showed Kate Gosselin celebrating her birthday with the kids while Jon Gosselin was in Utah with friends for a few days. Now a source says that his girlfriend Deanna Hummel was in Utah with him too. In other news, TLC has ordered 40 more episodes of the show and posted an ad on Craigslist looking for more families with multiples who want to appear on TLC. [The L.A. Times]
• The trophy Shawn Johnson won on Dancing With the Stars is in peices. "We had to take them to New York and they shipped them back and when they opened the box, they were in pieces," said her dancing partner Mark Ballas. "They're fixing them." [E!]
• 50 Cent said in court today that he wouldn't have bought Mike Tyson's mansion if he knew it needed millions in renovations. He's suing BVH Integrated Services, which he hired to inspect the home for him. They estimated it needed $500,000 in repairs, but so far 50 Cent has spent $6 million. [Associated Press]
• 50 Cent will star in the police corruption drama Caught in the Crossfire with Chris Klein and Adam Rodriquez. [Variety]
• After having dinner together at Tom Hanks' house, Jennifer Aniston invited Paul McCartney over to her home for lunch. [The Sun]
• Brandy has reached a settlement with the children of the woman who died in her 2006 car crash. Awatef Aboudihaj's two kids will receive $300,000 each. Her husband rejected Brandy's settlement offer in February. [TMZ]
• Though some have claimed Robert Pattinson has airbrushed-on abs in New Moon, costar Kellan Lutz says he's been training with fellow star Taylor Lautner. "Taylor been training Rob a lot, and that's why he's got such ripped abs. Rob's been working hard. He's trying to be the best he can be," says Lutz. [The Daily Express]
• Another day, another Robert Pattinson-Kristen Stewart rumor. A source says, "Robert and Kristen spent a lot of alone time together when they filmed the first Twilight movie - they'd stay up most of the night talking, laughing, playing music. Although [Robert] knew Kristen had a boyfriend, he made no secret of the fact that he was crazy about her." [Perez Hilton]
• The Real Housewives of New Jersey werer on the fourth hour of the Today show this morning. Danielle Staub alluded to the allegations that she was involved ina kidnapping and extortion plot saying, "I can just say, it's out there and it will be addressed. And I will definitely touch on all the subjects that are crucially in need of touching on at the time when the time is right." Also, Jacqueline Laurita couldn't be on the show because she's about to give birth to her third child and Teresa Giudice is pregnant. [People]
• Zac Efron will make a cameo on Entourage. Here's some scintillating gossip from the Beverly Hills Niketown where he was filming: "He was filming a scene and talking on his cell phone," says one Niketown employee. "None of the other Entourage cast was here. He was really nice." [E!]
• Rashida Jones and Obama speechwriter Jon Favreau have been seen out together many times this past week, fueling rumors that they are dating. [Politico]
• Jamie Kennedy showed up for an interview on the Johnjay & Rich radio show yesterday with girlfriend Jennifer Love Hewitt in tow and she did most of the talking. She said he'd better propose to her by next year and talked about Carrie Underwood snubbing her. You can listen to it here: [Perez Hilton]
• When talking to a gossip columnist, Vanessa Minnillo pointed to a 5-carat ring on her middle finger and said, "It will be 10 carats when it moves to the fourth finger!" as a not-so-subtle hint to Nick Lachey. [People]
• Michael Hall, husband of Michael Caine's daughter Natasha, is being sued by a former business associate who says he didn't pay him his cut of a large property deal. [The Daily Express]
• Trent Reznor says his former protégé Marilyn Manson is "a malicious guy and will step on anybody's face to succeed and cross any line of decency. Seeing him now, drugs and alcohol now rule his life and he's become a dopey clown." [Rolling Stone]
• Stephen Dorff is reportedly dating his publicist. [The Daily Express]
• Joan Rivers is selling the Upper East Side penthouse she bought 20 years ago for $25 million. You can check out pictures of her home, which looks like it was modeled after Versailles, at the link. [New York Magazine]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen went out together last night to celebrate a friend's birthday. An onlooker says, "They danced non-stop with their friends and playfully took photos of each other... They loved the music the deejay was spinning." [People]
• Pink Floyd co-founder Roger Waters visited a Palestinian refugee camp next to Israel's West Bank wall today. he said he hopes that "this thing, this awful thing, is destroyed soon." [Yahoo]
• Madonna will perform in Tel Aviv on September 1 for the last stop on her Sticky and Sweet tour. Her website says she's "very excited about returning to Israel for my last and final show." [USA Today]
• It seems Morrissey has recovered from his undisclosed illness. He's rescheduled four cancelled concerts for later this summer. [The Independent]
• Exene Cervenka of the punk band X, co-lead vocalist has revealed that she has Multiple Sclerosis. "After some months of not feeling 100% healthy, I recently had some medical tests run and the prognosis is that I am suffering from Multiple Sclerosis," Cervenka said. "Apparently, it has been affecting me for quite some time." [Rolling Stone]
• Diane Kruger is considering moving to Vancouver to be closer to Joshua Jackson. "My boyfriend's show [Fringe] is being transferred there," says Kruger. "He's from there. I'm going up this weekend but to see what it's like." But, she says, "it doesn't matter where we're going to live. We have no attachments anywhere. Home is where the other person is and that's really great. I could live anywhere as long as he's there." [The Telegraph]
• When Sports Illustrated reporter Dan Patrick asked Danica Patrick about taking performance enhancing drugs, she made some innocuous joke about it not being cheating if you don't get caught. This caused a huge controversy in the racing community and now she's apologized saying, "The whole interview with Dan [Patrick], and every other interview I've ever done with Dan, the questioning comes from left field. It was just a joke and I really apologize if it came across any other way. ... It was a bad joke. There is a lot of sensitivity in our culture about [performance-enhancing drugs]. With all the baseball stuff, I've followed it and this is a real problem. It's a shame kids think they have to do this to get ahead. It's very dangerous. ... It's absolutely not what I'm about. I've learned my lesson on what I should be joking about." [Sports Illustrated]
• When asked if she loves being pregnant with twins, Molly Ringwald said, "No. I don't hate it, though. There is something wonderful about it." She added, "I find it difficult to be restricted in my movements and to feel vulnerable all the time. I am used to feeling very strong and active." [People]
• "I never hook up," says Katy Perry, "If I really like a person, then I'll go on a date. But you'll never catch me just randomly making out with someone. I'm not casual at all. I've always been into making a connection with someone. That's what it's all about for me. Besides, it's sexier to be mysterious and not give it away." [People]
• Beth Ditto of The Gossip says she's willing to start a "band feud" with Katy Perry. She explains, "['I Kissed A Girl'] is a] boner dyke anthem for straight girls who like to turn guys on by making out or, like, faking gay. I hate Katy Perry! She's offensive to gay culture, I'm so offended. She's just riding on the backs of our culture without having to pay any of the dues and not being actually lesbian or anything at all." [The Daily Express]
• Nia Vardalos says: "In 2004 I came to the end of a 10-year infertility battle that knocked me over. So I decided to just quietly withdraw and write, and I enjoyed it... Now having come through it, I highly recommend it. I think when you let go and try and stop making things happen, you come out of it quite invigorated," Vardalos told Reuters. [Reuters]
• Michael Sheen, who played Tony Blair in The Queen received an OBE from the real queen for his service to drama, even though Queen Elizabeth probably isn't familiar with his work. He said, "I heard through a fairly reliable source that there was an agreement she was not going to watch the film and Mr. Blair wasn't going to watch the film either." [The Star]

"The Story of Stuff" is narrated by Leonard, who also stars as the sole human figure. Behind her, black line drawings of factories, waste, pollution and the big gold "arrow of consumption" play across a white background. She describes the process of environmental degradation, the problems of capitalism, and the exploitation of third world nations, all while maintaining a cheerful tone. Leonard makes it clear to kids that excessive consumption has lead to our forests being felled, rivers polluted, and animals going extinct.

The New York Times reports that teachers across America have begun to include "the Story of Stuff" in their curriculum. Hundreds of teachers have written Leonard to say they assigned the video as homework for their class (it can be watched on Youtube and at storyofstuff.com), and over 7,000 schools, churches, and others have ordered a DVD copy of the short film. Kids are reportedly responding well to the video; the NYT mentions several students who have become young environmentalists, thanks to Leonard's persuasive video.

However, not all parents are happy about the pervasiveness of the film. As Mark Zuber, a parent from Missoula County, notes, there is "not one positive thing about capitalism in the whole thing." He went before the school board to argue that since the video does not present an alternative perspective, it violated the board's standard on bias. Indeed, Leonard's "Stuff" is not exactly unbiased. At times, the video can come across as preachy and one-sided. She depicts the cartoon character that symbolizes the government shining the shoes of the bloated figure of capitalism. "Our primary identity has become that of being consumers, not mothers, teachers, farmers, but consumers," she says. Throughout the video, Leonard, who describes herself as an "unapologetic activist," voices her criticisms of capitalism, the US government, and the fashion industry.

Despite some parent's worries about the overtly political nature of the film, "The Story of Stuff" is a growing phenomenon. Leonard hopes that the video will make its way around the world. "I've heard from teachers in Palestine and Papua New Guinea," she said. "It is just spreading and spreading."

A Cautionary Video About America's 'Stuff' [NYT]
The Story Of Stuff [Official Website]

According to Time, Jack asked Obama — then an undergrad at Occidental — to sit for some photographs for her portfolio, which she dug out. She mostly remembers thinking he was pretty cute — and, really, who among us doesn't? — but little else about the shoot. To help job her memory, we channeled the collegiate Obama for what he was really thinking.

You'd have told him no matter what cheezy pick-up line he was using.

Guys like that always know you think they're hot.

And they always think that means you want them. Sometimes it's even true.

Obama was nothing if not prescient. He owes a debt of gratitude to Clinton and Bush for making it acceptable to have gotten high and run for President.

I can't say I'm mad Michelle made him quit.

Damn strategic shadows.

A little ice will help!

I think I'd have to see both in order to decide.

Oh, I think we're about done here.

Obama: The College Years [Time]

Earlier: Obama — Not You — Is The Person Of The Year

• Hillary Clinton has not agreed to be Obama's Secretary of State even if she is officially offered it. [Politico]
• She has, however, been asked to head Ted Kennedy's health reform task force next year. [The Hill]
• Mr. Jowls will remain the Chairman of the Committee on Homeland Security. Jane Hamsher and others say, in so many words, fuck that guy. [Politico, Firedoglake, Politico]
• Chuck Norris might be able to defeat ninjas, cowboys and anyone who talks back, but what he's really, really scared of is boys who like to kiss other boys (we assume that, like most raging homophobes, he furiously masturbates to girl-on-girl porn). Chuck Norris, I have watched gay bear porn and survived with nary a scratch. I double dog dare you. [Queerty]

• In the mean time, Eric Holder appears poised to become this country's first African-American attorney general. Some people have their panties all in a bunch that he might or might not have had something to do with the 11th hour pardon of Marc Rich in the Clinton Administration. [Newsweek]
• Beau Biden, on the other hand, will not accept an appointment to his father's Senate seat and will likely deploy to Iraq as planned. [Washington Post]
• Less gracious is outgoing Representative Marilyn Musgrave (R-Colorado) who has yet to officially concede the race she lost in a landslide to Democrat Betsy Markey or thank her staff, but what would you expect from the woman who staked her legislative career on trying to pass a Constitutional amendment to forever prohibit same sex marriage? [Politico]
• Speaking of controversial pardons, apparently Ted Stevens wants one. [Politico]
• Republicans are trying to decide whether to try and trample people's rights in order to regain some semblance of political relevance, or whether they'd like to try doing stuff for the Real Americans they so desperately swear they represent. [Huffington Post]
• Chuck Hagel pretty much said that Rush Limbaugh can go fuck himself during a speech. I say that all the time, Chuck! Want to grab a drink and make fun of him sometime? [CNN]
• Diane Sawyer conducted her interview with Ashley Alexandra Dupre, originally famous for fucking former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer for money, who, if this picture is any guide, will heretofore be known for sneaking into Sarah Palin's tanning beds one too many times and stealing Jane Fonda's steez from 9 to 5. It's unclear whether she actually says anything to make the interview worth watching, but since she's probably not going to dish about whether Spitzer really tried to fuck her up the ass without a condom while wearing his socks and singing show tunes, I'm guessing not. Fine, I never really heard rumors of show tunes. [Huffington Post]

• John Mayer on his breakup with Jen Aniston: "There's no lying, there's no cheating, there's no nothing. Jennifer Aniston is the smartest, most sophisticated person I think I have ever met. People are different, people have different chemistry. I ended a relationship to be alone, because I don't want to waste somebody's time if something's not right." Hmm, does Mayer The Player have commitmentphobia? [People, UPI]
• John Mayer also says: "I'm sorry that the story's not interesting. But it's about time that somebody stands up for that girl and I think she's great." [OK!]
• Um, there's also video of John making these statements. He actually seems emotional. [TMZ]
• Okay, this report says that though they're going through a rocky time, John and Jen are not over. Then again, it also claims that "the birth of the Brangelina twins has got her down." Ugh. [The Sun]
• This report says that money was an issue with Jen and John. "Jen was tired of paying for everything," says a source. "Cobwebs come flying out of (Mayer's) wallet when he opens it. John liked living like a movie star when he was with her. Jen would never say anything, but you could tell it irritated her." [MSNBC]
• Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi tied the knot! The private ceremony took place at their home in Los Angeles. There were 19 guests, including both of their mothers. [Yahoo News]

• Ellen and Portia both wore Zac Posen. They exchanged rings by Neil Lane. The couple said handwritten vows. Sniff. [People]
• Oooh, you can see Portia's fluffy pink dress here. A source called it a "Cinderella tutu." [Us]
• A crowd of 6,000 people gathered on Chicago's South Side to remember Bernie Mac on Saturday. Samuel L. Jackson spoke at the church and said: "He never turned that kid down for an autograph. He always had time to shake a hand. He was always that kid from Chicago who wanted to make everybody happy and everybody laugh." [CNN]
• Meanwhile, a Presbyterian Church in Memphis is being criticized for holding a memorial for Scientologist Isaac Hayes. [UPI]
• Madonna's 50th birthday was Saturday. She spent the day praying at the Kabbalah center before hitting a London nightclub. [Mirror]
• In other news, doesn't look like Madonna will be adopting that little girl in Malawi. Although we'll surely hear something different tomorrow. [The Sun]
• Meanwhile: Guy Ritchie's script adviser has been charged with possessing more than £100,000 worth of cocaine and cannabis. At least he knows his stuff. [Daily Mail]
• Tyra Banks kept her audience waiting for two hours for a taping of "Celebrating Black Models, Past, Present and Future" while she was backstage "giggling, snacking and chatting with the crew." At the end of the show, Tyra and some other models released black balloons, which, as we all know, kill sea life. Anyway, a source says the whole show was "self-indulgent, narcissistic crap." [Page Six]
• Phil Collins has divorced third wife Orianne Cevey after six years of marriage and two children. He's paid her £25 million, more than Paul McCartney gave Heather Mills. [Mirror]
• Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe suffers from dyspraxia, a neurological problem which impairs movement. His spokesperson says his condition is mild and "at worst manifests itself in an inability to tie his shoe laces and bad handwriting." [Daily Mail]
• Courtenay Semel is spilling details about her relationship with Lindsay Lohan: "Everyone thinks Samantha is Lindsay’s first lesbian love, but we were very passionate until her fear of being found out drove us apart," she says. Apparently Courtnenay and LL would do lines of coke, then go home and "fall into bed together." You know, Star was on to LL's "roomate" Courtenay months ago! [News Of The World]
• Courtenay also claims that Lindsay slept with a bunch of dudes to suppress her lesbian urges. [The Sun]
• Was Peaches Geldof's quickie Vegas wedding a publicity stunt for the groom's rock band? The group, Chester French, was unknown in the UK before the wedding; now they have five gigs: Sheffield tomorrow night, followed by Birmingham, Manchester, Edinburgh and London. [Mirror]
• Peaches has gone to visit her father, who will surely quiz her about what the hell is going on. [The Sun]
• By the by, Peaches' new hubs doesn't know who Sir Bob Geldof is, so that should go over well. [Mirror]
• Oh, dear. There's a picture of Peaches licking the face of Mark The Cobrasnake. [Daily Mail]
• Did Peaches get married because she was depressed? Is she still scarred from the death of her mother eight years ago? [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse has become obsessed with The Wizard Of Oz and is using a sample of music from the film in one of her new tracks. Clearly, she loves the scene that's all, "Poppies… poppies!" [The Sun]
• Gossip Girl gossip: The first season comes out on DVD this week, with an audiobook narrated by Christina Ricci. Except no one likes audiobooks, especially not GG fans. [NY Times]
• Bill Murray jumped out of a plane on Friday. The 57-year-old actor leapt from 13,500 feet with members of the Army Golden Knights Parachute Team. When Murray landed, he said: "I really feel like having a drink." [AP]
• Paris Hilton's extensions were extremely obvious on the red carpet at a recent event. [UPI]
• View said extensions here. [ONTD]
• Jared Leto's band, 30 Seconds To Mars, is being sued by its label, Virgin Records, for not delivering three albums as required by contract. More time in the studio, less time on eyeliner, guys. [AP]
• Blind item! "Which hunk in a summer movie is a violent, closeted homosexual? The heartthrob snuck into his ex's apartment a few months ago and raped him so violently, the ex ended up in the hospital — and the actor paid him $500,000 to keep his mouth shut." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which oft-photographed socialite is being forced to get a job by her parents? She looks rich but is really broke, and is now looking for modeling gigs." [Page Six]
• Drama in the Black Eyed Peas! Fergie's too busy shooting a movie to commit to a tour schedule. [Page Six]
• Celebs at the DNC? George Clooney, Madonna, Kanye West, Scarlett Johansson, Susan Sarandon, Spike Lee, Quentin Tarantino and Matt Damon all wanna be there when Barack Obama says, "Yes, I can." [Rush & Molloy]
• Kim Kardashian performed with the Pussycat Dolls in Vegas on Friday and used iChat to show boyfriend Reggie Bush what she looked like in her costume. Yeah, she knows how to video chat. Be afraid. [People]
• Everything you need to know about Lo Bosworth's role on The Hills: "A subtle intelligence is Lo's saving grace. It's all there in her withering gaze, usually directed away from her target, and possibly in whatever she's always typing into her cellphone." [L.A. Times]
• Sixteen-year-old Georgia Jagger won't let mom Jerry Hall wear anything inappropriate. "I did take all her miniskirts. I told her one night that her skirt was too short – she came down the stairs and I was like, 'God, Mum, you are 50.'" [Daily Mail]
• Entourage star Emmanuelle Chriqui was one of the many patrons of an L.A. nightclub who came out coughing when someone set off pepper spray. [TMZ]
• Mark Frith, editor of Heat magazine, has a book about what it's like to run a tabloid readers love and stars hate. An excerpt: "Jude Law's lawyer calls again. 'We've reason to believe you're planning to run some photographs that you don't have permission to run. When does the magazine print?' 'It already has.' Silence. Then he tells me our lawyers will be getting a letter." [Daily Mail]
• Somebody stole stuff out of the Dancing With The Stars van when it was in Roseville, MN. [UPI]
• Is Avril Lavigne too sexy for Malaysia? [Yahoo News]
• Patrick Swayze continues to smoke. [The Sun]
• Robert Wagner has talked to a friend about the night Natalie Wood died. [Times of London]
• Headline of the day: "Even when he was kissing me, Warren Beatty could not resist staring at himself in the mirror." [Daily Mail]
• "I'd like an Oscar, I think, and I'd also like to have been the face of a big cosmetics company, like Chanel or one of the others. You know what, I am actually going to say I'd like an Oscar nomination rather than an Oscar. I don't want to jinx it." — Emma Roberts. [News.com.au]
• "I saw The Dark Knight. I'm like, 'That's not my idea of what I want to see in a movie.' I loved The Prestige but didn't understand The Dark Knight. Didn't get it, still can't tell you what happened in the movie, what happened to the character… I'm like, 'I get it. This is so high-brow and so fucking smart, I clearly need a college education to understand this movie. You know what? Fuck DC comics. That's all I have to say and that's where I'm really coming from." — Robert Downey Jr. [MSNBC]

Village Voice

There's also an obliviously upper-class, sanctimoniously yuppie-crunchy slant to the whole production. Still, Epstein and Lake have crafted an absorbing, thought-provoking inquiry into what modern birth has become and how to make it better.

Entertaining and at times chillingly informative.

The Business of Being Born" includes very little of the screaming, gnashing, clenching horror that is the hallmark of most TLC-style obstetri-drama or, for that matter, of the kind of hirsute birthing filmstrip some progressively educated middle schoolers are shown in sex ed. Instead, Lake and Epstein have made a movie about the pleasures and political importance of natural, midwife-assisted home birth.

Though at times Epstein relies on cheesy graphics and cartoons to convey her points, the filmed imagery is often surprisingly eye-opening, and viewers will be moved to tears at this rare chance to witness childbirth in a whole new light — the kind that isn't fluorescent.

Casting vanity to the wind, Epstein's subjects permit Paulo Netto's unimposing camera to witness the miracle of birth in a big-business-free environment, and the effect, like the production itself, is as poignant as it is potent.

The graphically documented home births are shown as supportive, quite painful yet infinitely rewarding. Any claim the docu may have to objectivity is limited not only by Lake being shown giving birth (the event which inspired her to help make the film), but also by Epstein herself becoming pregnant midway through the pic, unexpectedly providing the docu's most suspenseful moments.

Tracking Shots [Village Voice]
Ricki Lake's "Awesome" Vagina [Salon]
Ricki Lake Delivers Scary Birth Documentary [Reuters]
The Business of Being Born [Variety]

Um, so, I think it's safe to say she loves her socks. And by golly if that isn't the tri-blend track T-shirt. Maybe there's hope for American manufacturing after all.

These improbably-safe-for-work pix of limber AZN babes courtesy digg, where one user posts:

Am I the only one who finds this incredibly arousing?

Uh, we're guessing 333 geeks didn't digg the article because they like looking at pretty Chinese characters.