All was well within the ranks of Canadian vocal quartet The Tenors at Tuesday’s MLB All-Star Game in San Diego. Suited up, voices warmed, these gentlemen were ready to deliver a bomb-ass rendition of “O’ Canada.” And then, like the god Pan reincarnated as a small Canadian conspiracy theorist, freakin’ Remigio pulled…
On Thursday, the same night as yet another Republican debate, where constipated Scrooge McDuck Donald Trump calmed down his screaming for a few minutes to explain how we got here, the Obamas hosted a lovely state dinner at the White House.
And he is non-controversially fuckable.
If there’s one thing I love about Canada, it’s its forthrightness—that fresh, earnest ability to put it all on the table without shame, take it or leave it. Like Tisdale, in the Saskatchewan province: a landlocked little town of 3,000 or so people, proudly home to rape and honey.
Our neighbors to the north are considering an alteration in their national anthem, "O Canada," that would make the song more inclusive of half their population.
Only Taylor Swift could accidentally release less than 10 seconds of nothing, sell it on iTunes and skyrocket to number one. We are living in magical, horrible times.