At Love Land, you can start with a kiss. Of course, the statue is derobed and is giving a puzzled sexyface, which adds a touch of creepiness. Also, I'd like to ask my mother and father, who read this site on the weekends, to turn back now, do not pass go, do not collect $200. And please say hello to the stork who dropped me off 28 years ago, because that bird is awesome. *fingers in ears* Lalala I can't hear you commenters lalalala!


There aren't any titles attached to any of these pictures, so I'm going to call this one "Futurama Porn." I'm also going to warn you guys that these get more graphic (and to some, perhaps, more disturbing) as we go on. Just a heads up.


This woman is not impressed with the giant masturbating lady beside her. Her expression says, "She's faking. Where's the concession stand?"


The park is meant to be a celebration of sexuality and a place for sex education, but this sculpture is just horrifying. A woman's body is half buried and a sign reading "high heel" stands next to it. It's incredibly disturbing objectification; I'm not sure what the focus on the heels as opposed to the woman is supposed to signify, but the whole thing creeps me out.


By contrast, I actually love this sculpture. The women seem happy, confident, and at ease with their bodies and their sexuality.


I think this is supposed to be Poseidon or some such, as the action is taking place on a wave, which I'd imagine is the kind of thing Poseidon would say if MTV Cribs ever visited his home. "This is the ocean, where the magic happens." The visitor is unimpressed. Perhaps sea statue porn is a tough sell?


Here, a man is objectified. He is no head, but he's still, um, very happy to see you.


Keeping with the objectification theme, here a torso and headless woman's vagina is shown as a box. "Subtle" is not on the radar at Love Land.


Men seem to have a physical advantage on women at the park, as seen here. I originally interpreted this as a symbol of power or control, though an astute commenter has changed my mind a bit.


I can't even, you guys. I think she's feeding something to a magical vagina oyster in the sea. I feel like Enya's "Sail Away" plays repeatedly while this happens, and eventually the magical vagina clam is going to rebel, Audrey II style, and destroy everyone.


One of the few times a woman is depicting as being in control is this sculpture, which, judging by the reaction of the crowd, is meant to be played for laughs. It's disturbing in that the only time a woman is in control, from what I saw of the park, the man with her looks horrified and victimized.


These three are big fans of Britney's new jam. Again, however, note that it's one man, two women. From the pictures I saw, there were few (if any) pictures of same sex couples, though in fairness those statues may not have been shown in the pictures that were available to me.


Legs in the air is a big theme; if the park is meant to be so educational, perhaps they should consider starting with, I don't know, what happens in the brain? Or the fact that people have brains? Or heads? Or torsos?


Then again, we do learn a few things about the Gingerbread Man that we never knew before.


And these women surely have the best Facebook profile picture of all time, no?

Overall, I'm not sure what to make of Love Land. As Dodai and Margaret reported earlier this year, Chinese officials shut down a spinoff Love Land park, planned for Chongqing, China, calling it "an evil influence on society." I'm not sure I'd go that far, though I find the objectification of women to be disturbing. Perhaps I'm missing something, but I couldn't shake the icky feeling these pictures gave me; particularly the ones of female legs shooting up from the ground, attached to nothing. I suppose I won't be visiting Love Land anytime soon; the park is supposed to be "humorous" and a celebration of sex and love, but women seem to be mindless parts manufactured simply to give men pleasure, and I don't need to go to South Korea to see that, as I currently get Comedy Central's Secret Girlfriend on my own stupid television set.

Jeju Love Land]

[All Images By Getty]

Earlier: Sex Theme Park Has Chinese Hot And Bothered
Sex Theme Park Is Too Hot For Chinese Officials

I thought it was Carrie Underwood at first.

I think it's incredibly unfair that Kim looks like this when hung over (especially being hung over for the first time.)

And I just couldn't resist making a gif of Khloe slapping Kourtney's ass.

This is a great masturbation device, a gorgeous pair of plump life size breasts with a pussy in a realistic flesh colour, and also has an integral multispeed vibrator for extra sensations! Slide your hard erection in between these pert babies and thrust into the hot pussy, your dreams will come turn as the vibrations tease your erection to fullness and you work your way towards that urgent ejaculation!

(Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this episode, Rich and I answer questions about lube, butt flaps, and Michael Jackson. Got a burning question? Send it to potpsych@jezebel.com. Or to Twitter. If we remember to check it, we'll answer those, too.

"I Don't Want To Go To My Friend's Wedding…" from Pot Psychology on Vimeo.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Once you go black…


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.You might prefer dimpled balls.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Short but sweet.


Bubbler balls.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Day-old dog poop.


Double header!


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.A dick with a rib cage gives a whole new meaning to "boner."


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Just for his pleasure.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Shocker!


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Peyronie's bong.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Camo, for the outdoorsy type.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.No veins.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Straight shooter.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Dude, where's my carb?


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Steel vagina.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Ketchup and bun?


Guys who smoke enough pot to get a naked lady pipe are hippies, which is why they prefer their naked ladies all natural down there.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.It's rare that something is weird yet predictable.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.You suck butt.


You suck orange butt.


Three input draw.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.It's almost boring at this point.


Cirque du Soleil.

Kendra, who became one of Hugh Hefner's girlfriends at 18, recently married Hank Baskett, and the two are expecting a child. Kendra says that she plans on being a strict Christian mother after she recently found God. We wonder if she found him in the skydiving room.

Kendra Wilkinson Plans To Be Strict Christian Mother [FoxNews]

In this clip, take a look at Locke's penis. So much scarier than Dylan Walsh.

The remake trailer:

Originally titled The True Story of How Babies are Made, the book was first published in 1973.


This is a baby.


This is the baby's parents, both of whom are fond of horizontal stripes.


Mom's carpet matches the curtains.


The father's definition of "large" seems relative, if not completely inaccurate, but the mother is OK with that, because the large ones kind of hurt anyway.


Danish kissing is just like French kissing, minus the tongues.


Shrinkage can be a problem for some men, but Danish kissing can take the focus away from the crotch. Magicians refer to this as "redirection."


When parents are very much in love, they hang out together in the nude.


Like all the time.


And the vagina in the middle of the father's chest doesn't even freak out the mother.


The father, however, is sometimes freaked out by the mother's see-thru belly.


But that's no reason to put on clothes.


After all, passionless nudity is natural.


But when it's time to go to the hospital, the parents have to put on the clothes they removed nine months earlier.


Because it would've been weird to drive around naked, even if they do own a hippie love van, and people in town expect that kind of thing from them.


The mother appears unperturbed by labor pains, or the fact that her doctor has blood-drenched shoes.


The doctor nervously grips the candlestick holder that he bought at Ikea, and prepares himself for the worst, in case the baby is evil and needs to be clubbed.


The baby exits the vagina kind of drunk. Luckily he isn't a violent drunk, but one of those happy drunks who just wants to hug everyone in the room. The doctor feels relieved about this.


The father, a known nudist, would like to remove his clothing like the rest of his family, but the doctor, whose behavior has been odd, won't leave the room.


The family is happy to be at home, and the father is happy to see a breast, even though he isn't the one who gets to suck on it.


Their friends and relatives, although happy about the baby, are not pictured here because they don't want their names or faces to be associated with any of this.


Real talk.


If you view this sideways, it looks like a tampon exiting a vagina, which is kind of the opposite of a sperm going into an egg. So this is like one of those optical illusion illustrations on display at the Franklin Institute.


YOU GETTIN' THIS? [12 oz. Prophet]

Full NSFW picture here. Terry Richardson's work was used to illustrate this post because the eminent fashion photographer once said of breaking into modeling, "It's not who you know, it's who you blow. I don't have a hole in my jeans for nothing."

(Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this episode, Rich and I answer questions about love, porn, and discovering the power within your pussy. Got a burning question? Send it to potpsych@jezebel.com. (Or send us your phone number! We wanna talk.)

What Does "Power Bottom" Mean? from Pot Psychology on Vimeo.

In the clip to the left, Roach explains #7 (from the list below). The Danish National Committee for Pig Production found that farmers would see a 6% increase in the farrowing rate (number of pigs produced) if they helped the female pigs have an orgasm while inseminating them. To help the farmers with this task, the committee created an instructional DVD on arousing female pigs. Roached obtained a copy and shares it with us all.

The List:
1.) A fetus can masturbate in utero.
2.) You don't need genitals.
3.) You can have them when you're dead.
4.) They can cause bad breath.
5.) They can cure hiccups.
6.) Doctors once prescribed them for fertility.
7.) Pig farmers still do.
8.) Animals orgasm more than we think they do.
9.) There was an instrument developed in lab studies  a camera attached to a phallus  to study what happens inside a woman's vagina when she climaxes.
10.) Kinsey conducted, for lack of a better term, jerk-off in which he lined men up next to each other and had them ejaculate in order to study how far semen can shoot.

Funny, educational, and engaging, Roach explains all of these points in a really entertaining  but still scientific!  way. You should really take the time to watch the entire video:

Mary Roach: 10 Things You Didn't Know About Orgasm [TED]

(Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this episode, Rich and I answer questions about eyebrows, kegels, and men's asses. Got a burning question? Send it to potpsych@jezebel.com. (Or send us your phone number! We wanna talk.)

What's the Best Way to Covertly Scratch Your Vadge from Pot Psychology on Vimeo.

(Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this episode, Rich and I answer questions about gay boyfriends, fisting, and drinking your mom's wine. Got a burning question? Send it to potpsych@jezebel.com. (Or send us your phone number! We wanna talk.)



Will Continued Use Of Tampons Stretch Out My Vagina? from Pot Psychology on Vimeo.

(Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this episode Rich, Susie, and I answer questions about asexuals, diaper fantasies, and inverted nipples. Got a question? Send it to potpsych@jezebel.com. (Or send us your phone number! We wanna talk.)

How Should I Talk To My Daughter About Masturbation? from Pot Psychology on Vimeo.

Susie Bright, sex-positive feminist and author, was gracious enough to help with your most troubling sex questions. All week, she and her daughter Aretha will be providing us with their sage advice. After the jump!

BF SAYS HE'S "MESSY"
My BF really wants to come in my mouth. I'm nervous about this because he says he's very messy. What should I be expecting? Is it a shooting feeling? A squirt-from-a-water-bottle feeling? I want to give him this experience but I'm afraid I'm going to end up choking or something equally disastrous. I've already gagged a couple of times after being a bit too adventurous. I do want to try it but I'm so scared!
Claire

Aretha: Are you SURE you want to try it? [Laughing] I think your boyfriend could be reassuring you a bit more. Does he know this is how you feel about it?

Susie: "Very messy?" Compared to what? I think guys exaggerate, ‘cause most of them haven't seen a lot of other guys come!

Aretha: Okay, FIRST-he could come earlier in the day, before you see each other, so that there isn't as much to deal with. The force isn't bad.

Susie: We're not talking about a fire hose; this is like a couple tablespoons at most

Aretha: Just a couple splats. Now, the taste is probably not going to thrill you-that's the thing that might make you gag, not the force of the ejaculation. Get ready to not like it. (Although there are exceptions!)

Susie: It isn't ice cream. Here's the exciting part: If you like the feeling of having someone lose control with you, you're going to love this! You won't know until you try it. It can be a real rush if you understand how much power you have. Have at least one hand on his cock so you can control it. If you start to choke, just pull back.

Aretha: Yeah- and just because he comes in your mouth, you don't have to swallow… although that will get it out of your mouth the fastest. Not too big a deal and if gets messy or whatever you can laugh about it. Have fun!

HOW MANY TIMES MUST A WOMAN BEND OVER?
I just started having anal sex with my boyfriend. We did it once. He is gentle and slow-going at it, because he doesn't want to hurt me. Although it was a bit uncomfortable, I enjoyed the sensation of it. But I didn't come. If we have anal sex as little as once every couple months, will I get used to it-and maybe come from it someday?
Jasmine

Aretha: Well, if you want to come from anything new, you're going to have to try it more than once every couple months. The first time was probably uncomfortable because it was unfamiliar to you.

Susie: I've glad he's gentle and slow…that means you can talk to him while it's happening. I like this guy already. He obviously has control of his erection, which makes a big difference! He'd love it if you talked to him. I know this is the sex educator mantra, but anal sex is about lubrication and communication-each one of those ideas is going to make a lot more sense the more you try it.

Aretha: You're not likely to orgasm from backdoor alone. Touch yourself, use a vibrator or something, so you can maximize your pleasure, which will make the whole thing go into a different dimension. Good luck!

HOORAY…YOU'RE GAY?
I've been dating a transman for a while now, who lives as a male, but has not yet undergone any hormone or surgical transition. In the beginning, he loved sex between us and made it clear he identified as a straight man, exclusively. Then, out of nowhere on our last vacation, he got drunk and kissed another GUY at the bar, which he blamed on booze. Last night, drunk again, he said he thinks he might be into guys, but wants to be with me. So, do I call it a day, not being a guy and all? I'm pretty old-fashioned and if he was a bio-dude, I'd say "sayonara" (and probably throw a "Hooray, You're Gay" party to be supportive). Or, should I wait for him to bring this up when he's sober since he keeps blowing off the drunken gay-ness the next day when I ask about it?
Allyson

Aretha: He was loving the sex with you? Do you mean that after he kissed a guy it all changed-or did your sex life get bad before that?

Susie: People get drunk and kiss other drunks all the time. But did it mean more to you at this stage because your sex life was in the toilet? It's only natural that things are going to get sloppy every once in a while, especially if your lover hasn't hashed everything out yet with his sexual feelings. Of course, he doesn't want to get "divorced" from you! You sound like his best friend. Did you witness the kissing or did he tell you about it? That's an important difference.

Aretha: If he'd kissed another women, would you have a problem with that? Is this a jealousy thing or are you starting to feel like he's not into women anymore, period? I agree with Susie, it's too early in the game to for either of you to decide whether he's "gay" or not. To the point, if the sex is sucking, who cares if he's gay, bi, or just naughty? Maybe it's time to leave.

Susie's newest book is X: The Erotic Treasury. She blogs at susiebright.com and podcasts about sex and politics weekly on: In Bed With Susie Bright.

Susie at Happy Ending Lounge, photo by Stacie Joy.

Earlier: Sexpert Susie Bright Answers Your Burning Questions
Sexpert Susie Bright Answers Your Burning Questions, Part 2

Dudity = male nudity, and in this case, a very sculpted, naked ass.

We'd think the whole storyline was ridiculous if we didn't already see a documentary about objectum sexuality, and know it is a very real thing, at least, in the eyes of those who identify with it.

Most OS people (as they prefer to be called) are women, but there are instances of male objectum sexuality. Unfortunately, the educational website about OS isn't working, but after reading up on the issue, we noticed that the main difference between OS men and OS women is that the women usually aim to marry the objects they love, while men aren't as interested in that aspect.

Earlier: Objectum Sexuality: When Relationships With Inanimate Objects Become Intimate