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Who You Calling A Bad Feminist?
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Who You Calling A Bad Feminist? |
05/13/09
My God. I'm sorry you have to deal with shit like this, Megan. This is just ridiculous.
05/13/09
I, personally, am a humanist.
05/13/09
05/13/09
It's disgraceful, that article. Her narrowminded, victim-blaming, backwards and condescending opinions, as ex[ressed so vividly and bass ackwardly in this article should destroy her freelance career. They won't, but they fucking should.
05/13/09
If Hirshman really cares about women, shouldn't her concern be with that -- with the fact that a woman weighing whether to report being the victim of a sexual assault has to fear that the authorities won't believe her or give her a fair shake -- instead of calling out other feminist writers mean-girl playground style?
05/13/09
05/13/09
oh wait:P you can quibble, there is a grain of truth to all crime being a little about power, but to to perpetrate the lie that its all about power instead of greed/theft is just irrational.
sorry, that old line was pushed out by feminists who wanted to make it a politically motivated crime instead of a sexually motivated one. more convenient for the cause, but fundamentally false.
[www.drtraycehansen.com] has a good write up on it
05/13/09
05/13/09
I've read interviews with rapists in prison and the like who have admitted that it was more about power than it was about sex. What, are they wrong too?
05/13/09
Are soldiers too horny to function, so they've got to rape locals where they're stationed? Are men who rape grandmothers just really into old women and hoping they'll be into it? Are celebrity men who 'could have any woman they want' and prey on naive plain virgins just not getting what they want from the supermodels?
05/13/09
I don't think she's that wrong about this.
05/13/09
05/13/09
05/13/09
05/13/09
05/13/09
No. It's just the way some of us were built. I snark therefore I am.
05/13/09
05/13/09
I also think that young women (feminist or no) need to realise that modern life is risky and where we can work, drink and socialise alongside men, it is unecessarily dangerous and stupid to drink until you can't see and go home with someone that you don't know. Heck, it's stupid and dangerous to go home with someone you don't know anyway, but hell, if you're smart you're ok, because smart women don't get raped right.
Rapes do happen when women don't protect themselves (and I am NOT apportioning blame on the scantily clad or drunk) but how can you keep your wits about you when drunk and alone? I know that rape isn't about sex or desire, but you can't see, fight, scream and run as well when you're drunk, it's about protection and self preservation and I don't think that Linda Hirshman made a bad point there. We have to remember that the world is full of creeps just waiting for a tipsy girl to take advantage of.
I'm not sure whether it is anti-feminist not to report a rape (and I'm sure as hell not saying that any rape unreported makes the victim complicit in future attacks) but if everyone keeps quiet then women will continue to suffer from crimes that could have been prevented. My mother always advised me to go to the police if I was ever attacked in any way, we can't demand that the police be more sensitive if we also say that it's ok not to say anything. As I said earlier circumstances differ but the message we should be sending out to young girls is that you MUST report any attack or threat on one's safety, to protect yourselves and others. You must be able to see the right in that.
05/13/09
05/13/09
@BiBiVirtue: Um, what? That is entirely untrue and actually is extremely offensive. I know it's scary to face, but smart women do get raped all the time. Women are not raped because they have done something "wrong" or "stupid". I know a lot of people like to think that (it's what I believe is at the base of all the victim blaming) that there is a list of things that if you don't do nothing bad will ever happen to you, but that's just not true.
05/13/09
It's the essence of what Tracie said last year on the Lizz Winstead programme. It's not what I believe. But thanks for the lecture.
05/13/09
05/13/09
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05/13/09
You see- I think that this is a bit of a logic trap. I'm not ripping on you but I've encountered this argument before "If you park your Mercedes in a bad neighborhood and leave the keys on the hood- well, then you can't be too shocked when your car is stolen."
The problem here is that you teach your children to care for themselves. A woman walking in a parking garage is taught to grip her keys between her fingers. A man is taught to move his wallet to the front pocket in a crowd. And do on. You want them to be safe. You want them to be alert and aware of danger and be savvy enough to avoid dangerous situations. There is no blame in that.
However, the rape of women enters into a blurry area. It is beyond the pale to expect a woman to restrict herself from doing something completely legitimate for fear of rape. There are too many variables that cannot be predicted. Was I safer getting blind drunk at that fraternity party or after having a few glasses of wine over at my neighbor's house? Is a blind date set up by my best friend safer than the fourth date with a guy who seems really nice but I'm still getting to know. Seriously, the situations you may think are safer are not. They are the ones where I have gotten myself in trouble.
We cannot put women into seclusion. So, we just have to walk the line teaching out loved ones to be safe but we have to understand that crime just happens to you. It is an awful synergy of time, place, victim, and perpetrator. This is pessimistic, but it is true.
Look at your safety in terms of crime- not specifically rape.
05/13/09
Decision to be made tomorrow, I guess.
05/13/09
05/13/09
Fuckers.
05/13/09
first i was denied the morning after pill by an er worker who felt i should tell her whether or not i'd been drinking before she gave it to me. i had, and was in hysterics. i didn't know who else to go to, so i called my boss (i used to work at a tattoo shop. she knew her stuff). she took me straight to the police... who ALSO demanded to know if i'd been drinking, then told me they couldn't do anything if they didn't know the details. over three hours, i spilled the beans: where the party was, whose house it was at, all the underage kids who were there... and meanwhile, nobody had actually come out and said, "you were raped." horrible story short, i was ostracized from my entire group of friends (who were also at the party and who i didn't tell what had happened until they found out second hand... and then informed me that i "wasn't raped because we had both been drunk") and haven't spoken to any of them for five years. they did everything they could to make my life hell, including giving my number to people who were at the party, who would call and harass me for getting the kid who raped me in trouble. obviously, after two weeks of this i did not want to press charges and have been exceedingly wary of getting involved with the police ever since.
after six years and a fuckload of therapy, i'm a better but there are still days when i worry the whole thing wasn't rape at all. was i asking for it if i was drunk (even though i'd never had liquor before and had lost my virginity a scanty week before on prom night)? did i really ruin this kid's life because i was a scared, young girl and didn't think the situation through? linda hirshman, i hope this never, ever happens to you- but if it does, perhaps we'll see more eye-to-eye. until then, maybe you should stick to thinks you know something about.
05/13/09
05/13/09
05/13/09
05/13/09
A few things that stuck out to me:
- I've said this in response to an earlier comment, but it appears that Ms. Hirshman's version of Feminism doesn't get the whole freedom of choice aspect - she would make our choices for us because we're too dumb, drunk, stoned or weak to make them for ourselves and she knows what's good for us. Also, we should subordinate our right to make these choices concerning our own life and welfare for the greater good of feminists everywhere. To what extent, I'm not entirely sure, since it seems to me she just eviscerated the entire movement right there. What exactly is the benefit of the rights we've been fighting for if we're not allowed to use them? Also, the fact that she harps on about "consequences" with a sort of zealous glee (as if it was a code word for "just desserts") strikes me as amusingly short on self-awareness considering her approach to feminism would rob of us of the ability to choose, and thus, presumably, spare us from the consequences of our actions. Except what, exactly, is the consequence of living a life without autonomy? (This is NOT to say that rape should be considered a consequence at all. Megan's just got all the bases covered on that one, I think.)
- At first they raped the prostitutes. I kept silent; I was not a prostitute. Then they raped the girls in revealing clothes, and I remained silent; I was not dressed in revealing clothes. Then they raped the women who walked alone at night. I did not speak out. I did not walk alone at night. Then they raped the women who were women...
- Anyone else feel like she's reduced the Jezzies to strawmen that she can burn in effigy? That she's missed or chosen to ignore the self-aware irony of the name "Jezebel" and painted us all with the same drunk wanton hussy slutbrush, even the 49% of us who are apparently male? Seriously, I don't know about you people, but I'm not commenting topless from a bar where I just did shots off of the belly of a sailor named Jesus. And even if I was, I'd still be more coherent than she is. And undoubtedly having more fun.
- She said "incoherent" when I'm pretty sure she meant "inconsistent" - or should have. Because it's not incoherent to anyone with half a brain. It's not really inconsistent, either, but I think one would have a better shot arguing that one. Hell, if she gets to be a petty, sanctimonious bitch, then I can too, right? After all, I get the distinct impression from her writings that we're all supposed to emulate her.
05/12/09
05/12/09
05/12/09
I hope you're getting all the help and support you need, honey.
05/14/09
05/12/09
05/12/09