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Rihanna On Chris Brown: "I Really Hope Young Men Can Learn From It"
Women Now Permitted To Be Hot And Smart
NY Times: "Going Rogue Is Part Cagey Spin Job, Part Earnest Autobiography, Part Payback Hit Job"
Cindy Crawford On Feminism, Modeling
Backhanded Compliment Of The Day: Paglia On Pelosi
Prejean Says She Regrets Defiling "Temple" With Topless Pics
Sparkly Vampire Unimpressed By Canadian Fangs
Oh Snap: Dowd On Limbaugh
Russell Brand Questions His Own Involvement With The Fashion Industry
"Women Want To Be Viewed As Executives, Not Just Women"

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prismatism
11/21/09

In reply to Rihanna On Chris Brown: "I Really Hope Young Men Can Learn From It"
How bout a round of applause?
A standing ovation?

I'm lame, but seriously, she is so great, and I love her so much.
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Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
11/21/09

In reply to Rihanna On Chris Brown: "I Really Hope Young Men Can Learn From It"
Unless the woman is the abuser...I mean, that can happen too. It doesn't have to be so polarizing: Men (Abuser) versus Women (Victim). It's learning that everyone has to have the emotional fortitude to use something besides their fists to rectify a problem. I'm glad that Rihanna's standing up and saying this though. That's just a little bone I have to pick. I've been working with a few teenaged-girls who think nothing of hitting their boyfriends and I've tried to tell them that their behavior is unacceptable and isn't "okay" just because they are girls. Abuse is abuse.
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Edited by Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC at 11/21/09 10:21 PM

curiousgeorgiana
11/21/09

@Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC: I think she was just commenting on her experience, but I agree with you. Abuse is abuse, regardless of male or female. And we need to raise awareness for all.
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Andalucía
11/22/09

@Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC: Do you know how rare DV by women against men is? Incredibly so. When men are actual victims, it's overwhelmingly by other men. Same is true when women are batterers: women are usually also the victims. Besides DV isn't just "violence." It's the act of holding someone hostage.

Have those boys being hit by those girls tried leaving? Honest question. If they have and the girls refuse to let them go, chasing them down and terrorizing them or threatening to kill themselves, then it's comparable.
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Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
11/22/09

@Andalucía: I wonder if it's incredibly underreported seeing as how humiliating it would be for a man to even mention it because abuse is a "woman thing". And teen relationships thrive on melodrama, so yes (of the kids I've worked with) many a girl has made harrassing phone calls or threatened to "kill herself" if the guy leaves her. But yes, guys do this more than girls, by far. Still, if I reversed your question and said "haven't those girls being hit by boys ever thought of just leaving?", I'm sure I would be reamed. Having a psychological hold on a person is what keeps these abusive relationships in a continuous cycle. There doesn't need to be constant physical restraint to keep a person in line. Abusers thrive on manipulating the minds of those they abuse through damaging their self-esteem and sense of personal power.

@Ginmar Rienne: Slapping is still abuse. If you put your scenario in the reverse (a man slapping a woman) I don't think you'd be so cavalier). And I'm not trying to equalize things. I'm just mentioning that abuse is a equal opportunity kind of thing. Men abuse men. Women abuse women. Men abuse women. Women abuse men. Men and Women abuse children. Now yes, men in many instances have the physical advantage, but to say that a woman doing the same thing to a man wouldn't be just as emotionally damaging is incorrect. Your comment implies women are somehow weaker and can't really emotionally or physically inflict harm. Incorrect. Or that men who are victims of abuse should stay "closeted" because it really doesn't matter in the "gender power structure". Also incorrect. Abuse is abuse. Putting it in terms of women as victims and men as abusers paints a broad stroke that I'm sure Rihanna didn't intend, but because of my experiences working with teens I've had to address more than once. Keeping one's hands to themselves is an EVERYBODY kind of thing. #tips
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Edited by Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC at 11/22/09 10:38 PM

IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel
11/21/09

In reply to Rihanna On Chris Brown: "I Really Hope Young Men Can Learn From It"
I officially love her. It's so friggin obvious, but not enough people will come right out and say it.
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morninggloria
11/21/09

In reply to Rihanna On Chris Brown: "I Really Hope Young Men Can Learn From It"
Rock on. Rock the fuck on. I will buy every one of her ensuing albums in support of her kick-assery.
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curiousgeorgiana
11/21/09

In reply to Rihanna On Chris Brown: "I Really Hope Young Men Can Learn From It"
Rihanna, thank you for saying it. You're getting a standing ovation from me-- right in my living room.

I had a therapist once tell me that my surviving abuse could make me an example to other women. I told him that I'd rather be an example to would-be abusers, rather than a cautionary tale for potential victims.
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
11/21/09

In reply to Rihanna On Chris Brown: "I Really Hope Young Men Can Learn From It"
""Because everyone's focusing on the women, but the problem isn't the women.""

Finally.
Somebody said it.
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rd2uk
11/21/09

In reply to Rihanna On Chris Brown: "I Really Hope Young Men Can Learn From It"
too bad the young man involved doesnt seem to have learned fuck-all...

but yes, agree with her 100%, the women are not the problem in this equation!
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
11/16/09

In reply to Women Now Permitted To Be Hot And Smart
Well ... at the risk of sounding quite the wet blanket, how soon does "permitted to be" move to "required to be"? #fashion
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PilgrimSoul
11/16/09

@Rooo sez BISH PLZ: shh, fashion is smart. #fashion
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Pandorasvoicebox
11/16/09

@Rooo sez BISH PLZ: Effortless perfection...don't get me started. #fashion
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bluebears
11/16/09

@Rooo sez BISH PLZ: This comment just made my day. #fashion
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
11/16/09

@Pandorasvoicebox: Are you a Duke graduate? The day I saw those two words juxtaposed like that in the context of raised "be all you can be" expectations for womens' "performance" was the day I truly began to despair for Western humanity, I think.

@PilgrimSoul: Silly me. How could I have forgotten. Excuse me while I self-flagellate.
(You know, my g-ma was an exquisite seamstress. She made clothes that fit and were beautiful (I still have, and wear, a blouse she made for herself, though I'm not sure how she'd feel about that as she used to make fun of me b/c I was a fat kid and I think she'd be quite ambivalent that I've leaned out to her size -- especially with five inches on her in height. Oh well, I guess she'd win 'cause that'd still make her "petiter" than me.). But I can't help but think there's still a difference between that and the bloviated beast that encompasses the concept of "modern fashion" that women are supposed to live up to now.)

Oh dear ... a book. #fashion
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
11/16/09

@bluebears: Happy to be of service.
*blushes* *curtsies* #fashion
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Bitingpika
11/16/09

@Pandorasvoicebox: Effortless and nonthreatening. #fashion
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Pandorasvoicebox
11/17/09

@Rooo sez BISH PLZ: Hah, I am in fact a Dukie. #fashion
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
11/17/09

@Pandorasvoicebox: My degrees aren't from there, but some of my (best ) friends are (hee), andI read all those articles. Perhaps a word with those lady administrators who were quoted. *shudders* #fashion
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LaComtesse
11/16/09

In reply to Women Now Permitted To Be Hot And Smart
Oh thank God *spits out false yokel teeth and takes fake wart off nose* I was so tired of having to choose! #fashion
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morninggloria
11/16/09

In reply to Women Now Permitted To Be Hot And Smart
I am concerned about the First Lady's breasts in that picture, due to belt placement. If I had a thick leather belt across that area of my body, I would not be looking very happy. #fashion
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SomeAuthorGirl
11/16/09

In reply to Women Now Permitted To Be Hot And Smart
When do I get permission to to not wonder if I'm a) betraying the feminist ideal or b) betraying my femininity? I'd take either one, but both would be great. #fashion
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funzette
11/16/09

In reply to Women Now Permitted To Be Hot And Smart
Permitted: Hot, Smart, Fashionable, Thin
Forbidden: Fat, Assertive, Awkward, Ugly
Borderline: Funny (Laughing at jokes made by others = permissible, Making own jokes = questionable) #fashion
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Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.
11/16/09

@funzette: YES!!!!!! I love you. I love you. I love you. Apparently women can be smart and hot, but smart and ugly, that's a no-no. #fashion
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Grim Reaper of the Forest
11/16/09

In reply to Women Now Permitted To Be Hot And Smart
Telling women it is okay to be into fashion? Wow, I've never heard that message before. #fashion
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PilgrimSoul
11/16/09

In reply to Women Now Permitted To Be Hot And Smart
Well, heh. I still think that if your sole focus is clothes, and if it dominates your daily life, you might be shallow. But it depends somewhat on whether you dress for labels, etc.

In other words, obsession with labels? Definitionally shallow. #fashion
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bluebears
11/16/09

@PilgrimSoul: how dare you judge me! That's how I empower myself as a woman!!! #fashion
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Waterlily
11/16/09

In reply to Women Now Permitted To Be Hot And Smart
I am well and truly sick and tired of the dismissal of an interest in clothing or fashion as an indicator of shallowness, fiscal incontinence, or stupidity.

A large part of that dismissal, IMO, as to do with the fact that clothes are seen as a 'female' domain. I've never heard similar criticisms being levelled against men and their video game/PlayStation/other electronic habits, all of which are arguably as expensive as clothing and as likely to become obsolete (and unlike clothes, have no value as 'vintage' and aren't essential to, erm, covering nudity). #fashion
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