• Obama's finally decided on a running mate! He's just not going to tell you who, though, so there. He says it's someone without a big ego, so Karen Tumulty thinks it isn't Biden, CNN's confirmed it's not Sam Nunn, and I wonder where on Earth he found a politician without a huge ego. [Associated Press, Time, CNN]
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Yo citizens! North Korea was just about to celebrate its 20th anniversary on our State Sponsors Of Terrorism list when Condi Rice went and pulled them abruptly off it. Now she's telling everyone we'll be sending them food and shit!! Megan is skeptical about this, but with food prices where they are right now and all…

• "He's obviously a well-educated, sincere man who has done good work in building Trinity United Church of Christ. But, to borrow a phrase that Wright might have used in one of his sermons, his rant at the Press Club demonstrates, that he is also a damn fool." [TheRoot]
  
• Surely I wasn't the only one who detected some…

Aw, look at the cute boys from Scranton who got suspended for cutting class to see Obama! They missed a quiz on The Stranger. "Existentialism is dead," one said. If only we could say the same for killing the Arabs, kids! So yeah, we really, really wanted to play hooky today. It's hot in my house and most of the "news"…

They are known to let dead people come back to vote for ward leader in Philadelphia, but when I arrived at my polling place of the last two elections yesterday, I found my name mysteriously removed from the rolls. My friend and South Philadelphia homeowner Ryan, meanwhile, got turned away for not being a Democrat,…

Today US Weekly began circulating this and other sensitive photos in a bid to have American supermarket tabloid readers believe Barry Hussein is just like US. And it appears to be working! Even (former) Ku Klux Klansman David Duke is not bothered by Barack Hussein, except, you know, the whole fact that he is a Jew…

Okay not really but! Everyone's favorite dictatorship is in the news today! (And: literally, nothing else is in the news today.) So the New York Philharmonic is playing Pyongyang. This is up there with the Altamont Speedway maybe. Will it be as wild? Are the liquor laws tough in North Korea? Is it really "just a…

A few months ago, we were watching Entertainment Tonight when all of a sudden Jim Carrey appeared talking all slow and medicated about Burma and how to remember how to pronounce "Aung San Suu Kyi." And we were like, "What's the big deal? That lady hasn't so much as left her house in years!" Um and if you get that…

• Oprah's golden retriever Gracie died in May after an unfortunate choking incident and still Oprah is talking about it, only now she's putting that Oprah-branded spin on it saying that Gracie's death was really a hidden message that she needed to slow down and take more time to appreciate her own life. Seriously, we…

The great minds at Slate tackle the brainteaser that is how the fuck Nicole Richie, whose body mass index is apparently a "prepubescent" 16, got knocked up. According to the story, the very lowest a woman's body mass index can fall without losing all the gross bodily functions that make us women is 17, and it should…