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BytheSea
11/16/09

In reply to Spreading The Love
I've heard so many kids online say they don't use condoms in a monogamous relationship (teenagers, high school, how long can that relationship be?) and you can't get anything serious if its just lesbians. It's like it's the 80s and no one important has died of AIDS yet and the quilt hasn't toured the country and we didn't all wear the little red ribbons. I feel ike 20 years of history was for nothing.

We all said we'd teach the younger generation to play safe and this terrible disease would be stomped out, but we really just taught each other. Now these fucking kids think we're just uptight old people who won't let them have any latex-free "fun." Every single one of you shits should have to play your video games with a avatar covered in pustulating herpes boils!!! #chlamydia
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poofaftermidnight
11/16/09

In reply to Spreading The Love
I manage two residence halls on a state college campus in western, rural Pennsylvania, and I also partner with the local AIDS Alliance - I work on campus and in the community as an outreach coordinator and presenter to an area that does not necessarily provide the most comprehensive sexual health education program, and it is one that is not always so welcoming to certain things. I have learned, as the years pass and I continue with this work, that there is not one single solution to the issues that abound, so we start with education. I work to educate the community and the students, to push past the stigmas and get them to talk openly and honestly about their concerns. I think fear-mongering when it comes to sex is the absolute worst way to approach education and awareness. These 18-year-olds are some of the most intelligent and enthusiastic learners I have ever met (we never seem to give them enough credit) - they're not stupid, and they're not buying most of what we're selling. My team and I work to dispel myths, act as advocates, get students to appropriate resources and professionals when needed, and, most importantly, to build the confidence and self-esteem of students - the most successful tactic we've found is to empower these young adults to make positive, educated decisions, to do what they want, to have fun, and o take pride in their bodies and themselves.

I have found that it doesn't often matter whether a student has come from an abstinence-only background or not: their concerns and the issues that arise are similar. The big difference is, however, is how willing they are to talk to people about what they're thinking and feeling. Talking is the first step. #chlamydia
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deeemer
11/16/09

@poofaftermidnight: Yeah, I'm kind of tired of "abstinence only education" to be the cause of everything wrong in this country, that has its roots in something sexual. From babies to STDs, I highly doubt that "abstinence only" is affected everyone.

First of all, the levels of STDs are affecting every age group, not just those exposed to an abstinence only education. Secondly, who's to say that porn - and its glorification of condomless sex - isn't to blame?

We need constant awareness and discussion about STDs and how to stop them, and abstinence shouldn't be our scapegoat for what's really a larger problem. #chlamydia
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Tiger Lourdes: Zombie Hunter
11/16/09

In reply to Spreading The Love
Momma said "I don't care if you screw the whole football team but if I find out you didn't use a condom you had better run and hope I don't catch up."

I'm vigilant about condoms. In the 13 years I've been sexually active there have been exactly 3 times I didn't use a condom. I refer to these as "bullets" and count myself lucky I dodged them.

My friends on the other hand, not so much. I've taken and dragged more of them to Planned Parenthood than I care to count. Seriously, wear a fucking condom, use a dental dam, get your ass tested regularly and don't be a mook, mmmk? #chlamydia
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Flackette Goes Retro
11/16/09

In reply to Spreading The Love
I really, really think that condom use has everything to do with healthy relationships in general. The only man who has ever tried to dissuade me from using condoms was also a bully in general. The men with whom I have had open, respectful relationships have been totally fine with condom use, and have made sure to have a supply on hand when the relationship got serious. Similarly, the only time I had sex without condoms against my better judgment was because I was young and didn't know how to stand up for myself on the matter. I was swayed by a boyfriend who claimed that using condoms meant I "didn't trust him", even though he admitted he hadn't been tested recently. Now, at the doddering old age of 30, my boyfriend and I actually, y'know, communicate about these things. We used condoms at first, shared testing results, and now don't use them except when my birth control may have been compromised. It's all about general respect for each other, and comfort in talking about sex and contraception. I'm afraid the young people who skip condom use do so because they don't know HOW to talk about the issue. #chlamydia
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Pamela_ballin
11/16/09

In reply to Spreading The Love
To paraphrase Lumburgh, yeah I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree with a lot of you.

Low rates of condom use have little to do with cost or availability or even ignorance stemming from abstinence only education. Like, I'm pretty sure these condomless peeps have the internet and have looked up sexual positions (at the very least).

The prevalence of unprotected sex and abstinence only education are two sides of the same coin: the American belief that sex is wrong. If you're not buying sex accoutrements like condoms, you can lie to yourself that you're not having it, which you shouldn't be according to social expectations.

It's kind of like how when British people go on vacation, they get thrice as drunk and belligerent as they would at home, because they don't face the social consequences in Mykonos.

Using condoms and being sexually responsible in the United States has, paradoxically, social consequences. At some Planned Parenthood clinics, you can't even go for a pap smear without being shamed for an abortion you're not having by the protestors outside. And, not to channel Michael Moore, but there's also the fact that if you're uninsured, you can only rely on free sexual health services.

My main point is that I don't think we should be aghast at peeps who admit they have unprotected sex. This very fact shows that they're susceptible to shame. Why combat fear and shame with more of the same?
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Scout
11/16/09

In reply to Spreading The Love
I contracted genital herpes because I thought dental dams were not sexy....you know what else it not sexy?
having genital herpes. #chlamydia
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Dictator for Life
11/16/09

In reply to Spreading The Love
I've had some pretty serious depression and other mental health issues in my life, and a lot of it has manifested in desperately wanting a guy to pay attention to me. This has resulted in a couple of 6-month long benders involving lots of unprotected sex with near-strangers. With all of them, I asked them to wear a condom, and they did the first time, but convinced me not to the second time and beyond. I was in a bad state, and I let myself be taken advantage of, even though I knew better. It's been years since these incidents, and I did get HPV, but luckily nothing worse, but I still get so scared that I have something that hasn't manifested itself. I don't know what kind of education would have helped me assert myself in those situations. I was seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist at the time. I think the guys themselves maybe needed some education to teach them that (a) they can get STDs from girls, and (b) they shouldn't take advantage of girls like that. When I've been in relationships with guys who respected me, they've never had a problem wearing condoms. Only the ones who treated all women generally like sub-humans refused. #chlamydia
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erinunderground
11/16/09

In reply to Spreading The Love
well, according to one of my students (college freshman), rap is to blame.

her argument: rap (with its "sexually degrading" lyrics) has significantly increased in popularity since the 1970s. std rates in the us have significantly increased since the 1970s. therefore, rap is to blame for stds (oh and teenage pregnancies and abortions, of course).

that was in the draft of the paper she showed me last week. if it's still there in the final i collect tomorrow, she's totally going to lose her a in my class. #chlamydia
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winner
11/16/09

@erinunderground: Wow. Unless sexually degrading lyrics give you an STD, that is a major logical fail. #chlamydia
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wtfox?!
11/16/09

@erinunderground: It sounds like someone needs to learn the difference between correlation and causation! #chlamydia
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erinunderground
11/16/09

@wtfox?!: @winner: yep...nothing like an honest-to-goodness fallacy to make your point. i love teaching first-year students.

(actually, i do love it. because i usually get to teach them how to *not* do what this girl did--among other things).
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Edited by erinunderground at 11/16/09 3:12 PM erinunderground was starred erinunderground was unstarred

Grim Reaper of the Forest
11/16/09

In reply to Spreading The Love
I had decent but forgettable sex ed in junior high and high school, but probably the most informative sex ed I got was through my church youth group. Of course, I went to a liberal Northeast church.

I also agree that actually using condoms is less about sex-ed, and more about feeling comfortable enough to stand up for yourself and having access to condoms and other forms of birth control when needed. #chlamydia
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Alohamaid
11/16/09

@Grim Reaper of the Forest: True that, any man who doesn't put on a condom and HAVE condoms when sexing you hasn't thought enough about your or your safety to gain entree into the holiest of holies. #chlamydia
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LutherNipperkin
11/16/09

In reply to Spreading The Love
PSA: If a dude tells you he's clean because he's had a blood test, ask him if he's also had a swab shoved up his pee hole. Blood tests don't catch everything.
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Flackette Goes Retro
11/16/09

@LutherNipperkin: This is a very, very good piece of info. I was surprised to find out that most men don't have the swab tests, just a blood test for the "big" stuff like HIV. So they could totally be harboring heaven knows what up in there. #chlamydia
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LutherNipperkin
11/16/09

In reply to Spreading The Love
Want condoms for super cheap, and incredible discreetly? Order them in bulk from amazon.com. They'll come in a plain brown box. Share an order with your friends if you don't need that many. I kept myself stocked for two years in college with one box.
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ozu
11/16/09

@LutherNipperkin: Undercovercondoms.com is a great source as well. I buy all mine online. #chlamydia
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Evie Havok
11/16/09

In reply to Spreading The Love
People need a healthy dose of fear instilled in them against HIV/AIDS and other STDs. Don't people realize that things like HIV/AIDs are lifelong, painful and come with debilitating symptoms? Isn't it just common sense that if you don't use a condom you might just get something from the other person? Even if abstinence-only sex education wasn't taught there would still be some assholes out there who wouldn't use condoms. They woud still use the same excuses : "I don't like the feeling!" ; "I'm clean"; "Don't you trust me?" ; etc, etc. I know I'm not the only who has noticed a whole lot of people not taking AIDS/HIV and the other STDs seriously. I'm including so-called informed and educated people in here, too. There's so many of them who don't use condoms even though they know the risks of unprotected sex. #chlamydia
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CissyPants
11/16/09

In reply to Spreading The Love
I have a gay friend that refers to HIV as "gay diabetes". He says that it's just a manageable disease and therefore he does not use a condom. I've run into this among a few straight people, too.

I live in an area that has a high HIV rate, and am blown away by the cavalier attitude from all parties. #chlamydia
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SarahHeartburn
11/16/09

@CissyPants: I guess your friend doesn't know how devastating an illness diabetes can be, either. #chlamydia
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CissyPants
11/16/09

@SarahHeartburn: Agreed. I just don't understand why one would want to subject themselves to something that is preventable. #chlamydia
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dirtybee
11/16/09

In reply to Spreading The Love
To this day, my grandmother tells all of her grandchildren to "have fun but be careful". She is a Catholic and a Republican, but is very open-minded about birth control. I love her.
#whymygrannyrules #chlamydia
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VioletBlue
11/16/09

In reply to Spreading The Love
I live in suburbs of Atlanta, GA. My 13 year old son came home from school with an "abstinence credit card." His father and I promptly supplemented his abstinence only education with, "Someday, when you and your steady girlfriend are ready, son, use a condom." #chlamydia
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Hlaode
11/16/09

@VioletBlue: Parents taking responsibility? In my America? #chlamydia
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Alohamaid
11/16/09

@VioletBlue: What the hell is an abstinence credit card? If you cover that thing w/ bacon and serve it with fries you'd have the worst of america all rolled into one. #chlamydia
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VioletBlue
11/16/09

@Alohamaid: The abstinence credit card is some gimmicky piece of crap our kids were given during "sex ed." or more like "sex will kill you ed." My husband was pissed. He started ranting about wanting to move back to California. Seriously, California has it's own population of right-wing-nut-jobs. #chlamydia
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VioletBlue
11/16/09

@Hlaode: Aren't you glad there a few of us? #chlamydia
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Alohamaid
11/16/09

@VioletBlue: But how does it work? What does it do? Do you charge masturbation on it? I'm so confused. #chlamydia
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VioletBlue
11/17/09

@Alohamaid: That's what I was asking my son. I said, "So, what do they expect you to do with this piece of plastic. Do you hand it to your wife on your wedding night and tell her to spread 'em?" He couldn't stop laughing. Seriously, I think the point is to carry it around in his wallet instead of a condom (yes, a wallet is not a good place to keep a condom). #chlamydia
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