Says the New York Post</em, "These days, cheek and chin implants are blatant, and who wants a natural-looking boob job anymore? Hoist 'em high, sisters." There's no challenge for those of us (?) who apparently make sport of guessing who's had work done and accusing them of it like those undermining friends in the Glade commercials!

But we have a new weapon in our arsenal: bunny lines, "the crinkly wrinkles on both sides of the nose that often appear as a direct result and telltale sign of Botox-related paralysis" and which battle scars are apparently borne by Nicole Kidman, Mickey Rourke and Sly Stallone. Which is good, because otherwise there's no way we'd guess that any of those people had had work done! Apparently the furrows arise because your few non-paralyzed muscles go into overdrive, thus wrinkling where nature never intended. So what's the cure? Well, says one plastic surgeon, "When people find these lines objectionable, Botox is the best way to eradicate them."

Bunny Lines [NY Post]

It's quite a day when one gets not one but two interviews with Bai Ling, who's promoting Crank: High Voltage. Because Ling is one of these stars who doesn't disappoint, ever. Ling, known for sartorial impunity, red carpet ubiquity, Playboy spreads, a shoplifting accusation and a general oeuvre of "antics," is as committed to the cult of her own absurdity as are we, and it's a solid partnership. It must be said, she doesn't dish about Mickey Rourke (or at any rate she's so vague that it's hard to tell what she's talking about) and sometimes it's hard to tell what's not taking herself seriously and what...is. But we kinda like having to guess for a change.

On the subject of her notorious fashion choices ("I had a stylist in the beginning, and I fired him because I really don't need it), she explains she's impervious to criticism because "I don't read anything. I'm not good on the computer." Her more exhibitionist tendencies, and the questionable decision to sport "band aids of truth" she attributes to "Eight Little Spirits in Miniskirts." Quoth she,

They're sitting on your hair, on your shoulder, on your nails. I'm like their peacemaker, because they don't like each other. I have a panda, a chicken, a dolphin … I have a monkey … All in miniskirts

Of her work, Ling, who also writes the blog Naked Seduction, declares, "I deserve so much more than the roles I get offered now. I'm one of the best actresses. One day I will win an Oscar. I'm already winning it. I just have to find the platform to show it." Karl Lagerfeld, in his oblique way, either agrees or disagrees; either way, she says the Kaiser likened her to "a female Andy Warhol. I'm kind of advanced in a way, and free."

As to the upcoming Nipples, which Harper-Collins is apparently releasing later this year, Ling "explains" it thusly:

It's a point of view of how I see the world. Like, I'm wearing purple and pink, you're wearing blue; maybe I'm wearing red, you're wearing yellow. Our eyes are limited. There are a lot of beautiful, magical things in the universe we don't see, but I see. Sometimes on my balcony I sit for the whole afternoon, watching the sun cast through the trees. Sometimes I see a butterfly there, a chair, a boat. But those are a high form of spirit giving art. They are there for its own existence. But only you have the sensitive heart and soul to recognize and enjoy that moment, but 10 minutes past when the sun moves a little bit, they're gone. The book is about my perspective - very erotic, very intimate. I share a lot of relationships that I had with different gentlemen - very intimate, very advanced, very crazy and very bold in a modern way. I wrote it in 40 days without even thinking; the book is there and I'm just here to reveal it.

Needless to say, we will read it, and not ironically! Because Bai Ling is that rare thing, a unique Hollywood creature, blissfully untamed by the sound byte or the publicist's statement. What's more, she seems to take her role as free spirit and artistic innovator seriously - "It's not only an intelligent woman who's not sexy. Or a sexy woman with no brain. You can embrace both sides. That's what I'm encouraging others to find in themselves" - even if the rest of the world doesn't. An exhibitionist? Well, yeah. But as long as they have senses off humor, that's something we've always got room for.

Five Questions For Bai Ling [SF Gate]
Bai Ling: 'One Day I Will Win an Oscar' [Movieline]

Dudity = male nudity, and in this case, a very sculpted, naked ass.

We'd think the whole storyline was ridiculous if we didn't already see a documentary about objectum sexuality, and know it is a very real thing, at least, in the eyes of those who identify with it.

Most OS people (as they prefer to be called) are women, but there are instances of male objectum sexuality. Unfortunately, the educational website about OS isn't working, but after reading up on the issue, we noticed that the main difference between OS men and OS women is that the women usually aim to marry the objects they love, while men aren't as interested in that aspect.

Earlier: Objectum Sexuality: When Relationships With Inanimate Objects Become Intimate

As in, full facelift, tummy tuck, liposuction, rhinoplasty... oh, fuck it, let's call a spade a spade: it's not cosmetic, it's a goddamn gastric bypass.

The point of these changes — which will also go into effect on every other Gawker Media website, and will condense the homepage into a series of headlines and very brief text intros — is to streamline the look of the site in order to make it, well, more "reader friendly". (Or, in non-corporate speak, "increase pageviews".)

It's a change that, to be honest, we're not exactly enamored of, sure about, or totally on top of, meaning that there will be all sorts of mistakes as we figure out the system and it eases its way into our workday DNA. Here's a sneak peek:

As you can see, the metadata to the right of the posts looks different, namely, the addition of little flame icons that signify when a post is being clicked on — and commented on — rapidly. In some cases, "Most Discussed" comments will appear there as they have in our "normal" view.

The good news: For those readers who decide they are not at all on board with the new look, the site can be viewed in its "classic" form; just click on the "View" menu at the top of the page and change the setting to "Expanded". Then send us hate mail that we can forward to our capitalist overlords.

It's never enough! "You don't look younger," her husband tells her, "when pressed."

"But your eyes look better." See, Holly wanted "something more." Enter Holly's friend "Nell." "I broke my plastic surgery cherry," says Nell. And now she's in it to win it!

"In a perfect world, we would do this," and he pulls her face up to where it was 12 years ago. "We should do the whole face. You're ready for that. You may not want to hear it."
"Yes, we do!" I erupt. "We want all the bad news!"...I pull Leaf away from Nell to ask if I should have that it of extra skin on my right eye fixed. He shakes his head. "I'd leave it alone. Some people are never happy, Holly. I suspect you're spending too much time in front of a magnifying mirror."

Um, is anyone not so surprised? Isn't this just...sort of like, an expensive form of emo self-mutilation? No wonder Ashlee and Pete have stuck together!