Philosophically speaking: where did Lady Gaga have to go, besides Elizabethan Papagena in community production of Phantom?


So we gotta ask...


Who wore it better?


If this is Jennifer Lopez's comeback, I'm confused about its direction.


The sad thing? Beyonce's slash and burn is sweet and demure in this company.


Whatever people think about Kanye stealing her thunder, Taylor Swift had already scored a total triumph: continuing her reign as best-dressed star under 25.


Alexa Chung, per usual, does her gothic Lolita hipster shtick, and pulls it off.


See, normally, you'd think, 'wow, Jade Cole looks like a preposterous 1991 hot mess.' But tonight? This was, like, the dress code.


Miranda Cosgrove demonstrates the finest in disco ball chic.


And Alicia Keys shoes its manifold creative possibilities...


Kristin Cavalleri, meanwhile, demonstrates the worst in disco ball chic.


Kristin may have The Hills, but this round goes to L.C.


Leighton Meester continues her case as a serious fashion player.


Stephanie Pratt's nightie doesn't seem that bad...and then you reach the shoes.
Apparently she's been walking through a Medieval marketplace?


Tyson Ritter's the frontman of All-American Rejects. Which really makes this too easy.


Whitney Port, now a designer with her own tent show, has obviously gotten too big not just for her britches, but for her bustier-crinoline-Chicago-costume.


Cassie's...getup brings to mind the immortal words of Heidi Klum: "This looks like I sewed it. And I can't sew."


In the 19th century, Whitby, North Yorkshire, was known for its fine-quality jet carving.


Nikki Hilton: your dress offends me. It is ugly and, worse, it is boring. I think disappointing me is punishment enough.


Isn't Amber Rose's outfit elegant and beautiful?


In case you're not sure, here's a back view!


Normally I don't love cape-backs, but Amerie's mini is starting to look really good right about now.


Keri Hilson should really overcome her inhibitions.


Rose Byrne totally wears this oversized floral - not easy, to which many a starlet can attest.


Solange Knowles' scrollwork mini is one of the few actual fashion risks on this R.C.


I'd look sullen too, if my boob was coated in industrial-strength epoxy and I knew in a few hours I had to rip it off.


As Adrienne Bailon proves, two wrongs never, ever make a right.

[Images via Getty]

• Recession? What recession? "In 2011 I'll be doing more clothing," quoth "designer" Lindsay Lohan, who, in addition to leggings, is working on "self-tanner and cosmetics with her fashion and beauty company Stay Gold." [WWD]

• In case you were wondering, here's what Salma Hayek wore on her honeymoon: "a ruby-colored ensemble" from Vesperini. [WWD]
• "Which kooky fashion figure asked for illegal substances on her contract rider? She said in order for her to appear at a fashion show, she needs two bottles of Cristal and "cocaine - a lot of it." Um, you tell us! [New York Post]
• Speaking of...we don't even know, Ashley Dupre for some reason continues to be a fixture at Fashion Week. Says Veronica Webb, ""Who's that? Spitzer's call girl? Oh. Well, no matter what you do for a living, you still need clothes." [New York]
• And killing the last of our interest, apparently Bryant Park is rife with celeb spawn. [WWD]
• Eva Longoria Parker claims to be just another penny-pincher: "I've always been pretty frugal about everything I wear on the red carpet. I return it all the next day." [WWD]
• Nicky Hilton is equally somber: "I'm being smarter about my spending. I'm not going into stores and buying anything. I am buying more pieces instead of just a bunch of clothes." [WWD]
• As we feared, Eleven Minutes, the Jay McCarroll-Fashion Week documentary, apparently blows. [Yahoo]
• Speaking of the Prodge, Tim Gunn's being all elliptical about their traditional end-of-week final showing. Quoth the Silver Fox, "You'll see collections from extremely talented people, but you won't be able to place the designer with the collection." [MSNBC]
• Oy. Puma's down almost 80%. [WWD]
• Laura Ashley, meanwhile, blames stores' price-slashing for its profit warning woes, rather than the proliferation of floral chintz in said stores. [Times Online]
• Halston, for its part, gets with the times: slashing prices and embracing new technology. Doesn't it seem like now's the time for a disco revival? [WSJ]
• But Benetton's up! [WWD]
• And more good news: Armani donates a million dollars to New York City public school arts education. [New York Times]
• Which will not affect PETA's plans to protest at the New York Armani store this week, dressed in giant bunny suits. [WWD]
• Continuing to keep them guessing, Dame Vivienne Westwood is teaming up with Royal Ascot; she's styling the PR shoots for the venerable races. [WWD]
• Not shockingly, buyers and investors are trying to score fashion lines at rock-bottom prices. [Portfolio]
• Thakoon Panichgul is a big fan of Michelle Obama's stylist, Ikram Goldman: "You know what, she has guts, and she has instinct about what she likes, and she's passionate about it. And so when I first launched the collection, she said, ‘I'll buy every single piece.' And so that kind of conviction, I think, is exciting." Exciting for him, definitely! [New York]
• Designer and socialite Shoshanna Lonstein Gruss is the new face of Judith Ripka jewelry. [WWD]
• Why does Kanye West love the Paris Women's shows? "It's Paris. Women's. Shows." [PaperMag]
• Kirsten Dunst - who so would - loves Rodarte. So do we, but no one cares. [WWD]

Listen, I'm not hating on these women for using their considerable connections to accomplish their creative goals, but why is it that of all the "chick lit" books that hit the shelves every month, those written by or about socialites and urging conspicuous consumption the only ones that get any press?

Earlier this year, NYC society doyenne Holly Peterson, daughter of the chairman of the Blackstone group wrote an aggressively mediocre book called The Manny, made a YouTube video with her rich friends to accompany it, all followed by mentions in the New York Times Sunday Styles, and the New Yorker.

What's curious also is that in the Bazaar profile, Goldberg and Harper choose a Jenni Kayne dress as one of their fashion picks. Kayne, a rising designer, was the subject of the Bazaar "Personal Style" feature just two months ago. She is also the daughter of the wealthy LA elite, and counts Rachel Zoe and the Olsen twins as members of her inner circle. Kayne told the L.A. Times last year, "My dad happens to be really good at what he does, and he has been successful (her father is a high profile investment banker). But my parents are not socialites, and I'm not a socialite. I've found articles online where they compare me to Nikki Hilton. I think she's a really nice girl, but that's not me." Tell it to Tory Burch, sister.

There are so many excellent books written and clothes by women who don't happen to have access to multi-million dollar fortunes, Phillip Lim dresses, or media reporters. Can't book publicists and magazine editors give those women some love, too? Though maybe Ruthanna Hopper deserves all the breaks she can get, because when she was a kid, her batshit papa tried to stab Rip Torn, drank thirty beers and did three grams of coke a day, and subsequently has given large sums of money to the Republican party. It's hard out there for a celebutante!

Cinema Verite [WWD]
Jenni Kayne's Big Picture [Los Angeles Times]

Earlier: The Problem With Chick Lit