• Justin Timberlake will attempt to finish what Ann Curry started: He'll head to Tanzania and climb Mount Kilimanjaro.

Timberlake's goal is to raise awareness of the global water crisis. Rapper Lupe Fiasco and singer Kenna are going with him (?!). He says: "I've been training four times a week to get my VO2 (oxygen consumption) levels up to expand my lungs. We'll climb a week straight, carrying 30 pounds on our backs. It's going to be intense, but it's going to be so rewarding. We're going to be ready for it." [Mirror via GQ]

• High times: Amy Winehouse and Snoop Dogg collaborated last year, but were too stoned to finish the tracks! [The Sun]
• But Amy has been getting all detoxed in St. Lucia — she does a lot of mud treatments to draw out impurities. [TMZ]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are mentioned as a cheap ploy for attention in this beyond stoopid press release. [Breitbart]
• Mel Gibson has "fled" to Costa Rica with his "mystery blonde." [Daily Express]
• Why hasn't Eminem been on the scene for three years? He's been on drugs. He says: "I wasn't ready mentally. I wasn't ready to give up the drugs. I didn't think that I had a problem. Basically, I went in, and I came out. I relapsed, and I spent the next three years struggling with it. Also, at that time, I felt like I wanted to pull back, because my drug problem had got so bad." He was also impacted by the death of his friend Proof: "I think it kind of hit me so hard. It just blindsided me. I just went into such a dark place that, with everything, the drugs, my thoughts, everything. And the more drugs I consumed, and it was all depressants I was taking, the more depressed I became, the more self-loathing I became." [XXL via The Sun]
• ZOMG Lindsay and Sam ran into each other. [Page Six]
• This report insinuates that Justin Long is super into Drew Barrymore, while she's all, we're just friends. [Gatecrasher]
• Kate Moss had to cut short a vacay in the Maldives because her boyfriend and her gal pal weren't getting along. [Daily Mail]
• Jennifer Aniston and Steve Zahn have a sex scene in the new movie Management. But poor Jen still can't escape being compared to Angelina; this column notes: "While it's no Mr. & Mrs. Smith, let's just say Mike (Zahn) ends up with his shirt off and his pants down to his ankles and Sue (Aniston) on her back on top of a table." [E!]
• The producers of Slumdog Millionaire have donated $740,000 to children living in Indian slums. [People]
• Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia has renewed Martha Stewart's contract and will pay Martha Stewart at least $2 million for the next three years so she can continue living as Martha Stewart. [WSJ]
• Even though In Touch reported that Kate Hudson would be on , she apparently doesn't "do" TV. The rumor is "not true," says her rep. [E!]
• Matthew Perry on Lost? "It is not true," says Perry. "I really don't know why those rumors have been floating about. I have admitted I am a Lost junkie. And at the press junket for [17 Again] I was asked what my favorite TV show was and I said [Lost], so maybe that's how they started." [EW]
• Mandy Moore got help for her new acoustic rock album Amanda Leigh from her "in-home teacher," husband Ryan Adams. [Mirror]
• Lady GaGa rocked the gay bash known as the Palm Springs White Party. She has said: "I love the gay community. Like bleeding heart love the gay community…it's a genuine love I have for them." [NBC Bay Area]
• Audrina on her new reality show: "It's my life after The Hills, my journey. It's going to be a little spicier, edgier, older." We think this means drunken makeout sessions. [People]
• Keisha Knight Pulliam, aka Rudy from The Cosby Show, is getting her own reality show on Oxygen, which involves her live-in boyfriend and will "explore what it's like to be "young, rich, single and co-habitating." The show will be called "Keisha and Kaseem." [AP]
• Guess who else is getting a reality show? Fantasia Barrino. [Reuters]
• Which Idol judge should go: Kara or Paula? [MSNBC]
• It seems that Bruce Springsteen is the "victim" in that NJ divorce scandal where the wife was calling him the other man in her marriage. A source says: "The wife pestered Bruce, but he didn't have an affair with her. He's freaked out that he was named in her divorce because he barely knows her." [National Enquirer]
• Daniel Radcliffe says the kissing scene between Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley is awkward: "Harry's got a real thing for her, and that is slightly odd because when we met I was 11 and she was nine." [Telegraph]
• Speaking of Harry Potter, the Half Blood Prince flick will open two days sooner. [NY Daily News]
• Uh, they are really squeezing the life out of this franchise: There will be a 5th Fast and Furious film. [NY Daily News]
• Miss USA contestants will wear swimsuits from the Jessica Simpson Collection Sunday night. [NY Daily News]
• Real Housewife Jill Zarin had a breast reduction and "feels 20 lbs lighter." [Page Six]
• Sean "Diddy" Combs has just been cast in a Judd Apatow flick, along with Elisabeth Moss and Rose Byrne. Get Him To The Greek stars Jonah Hill and Russell Brand, and the gist of it is that a record label intern (Hill) is hired to get an out-of-control rock star (Brand) from London to a gig at the Greek Theater in L.A. While it might have been interesting if things were shaken up a bit, Diddy plays the record label boss while Moss and Byrne play girlfriends. Of course. [Hollywood Reporter]
• David Duchovny and Tea Leoni are so back on they have matching tattoos now. [Daily Express]
• Catherine Keener has been cast in a fantasy/adventure flick called Percy Jackson, in which she will play a mom whose son is half human (his father is Poseidon). [Hollywood Reporter]
• Here's a profile on legendary producer Jon Peters, whose memoir is "filled with outrageous tales of Jack Nicholson and hookers, and Barbara Walters in her undies." he may have told a room of people that Baba Wawa had "a great rack and nice ass." [The Daily Beast]
• After saying that he "totally understands OJ" Simpson, Hulk Hogan has issued a statement, claiming he "in no way condones the OJ situation. As part of a larger conversation, he referred to it to exemplify his frustration with his own situation." [ET]
• Meanwhile Linda Hogan says she is "taking these recent comments seriously." [ET]
• "Electroclash godmother Peaches and voodoo loving rave producer Drums of Death get together in the latest issue of Dazed & Confused to talk about drugs, power ballads, performance art, their favourite fancy dress costumes, and working together on her new album I Feel Cream." [Dazed Digital]
• Former "pin-up" Heather Thomas has written a novel called Trophies, about Hollywood wives and fundraising. She says: "I researched this and found these wives are responsible for directing about 80 percent of the foundation monies in America. It is the wives who have the time and can draw things to their husband's attention. Trophy wives are seen as charms on a man's arm, but I have come in contact with a lot of billionaires and their wives are busy and often have PhDs and are brilliant businesswomen. I've yet to meet a bimbo trophy wife." [Reuters]
• A former publicist for James Brown is suing for control of his estate. [USA Today]
• Actress Tawny Kitaen has settled a fraud suit against her ex, so you can go back to not thinking about her. [AP]
• Blind item! "Which funnyman doesn't even bother to hide his drug habit? When pals come to visit his pad, they're just as likely to see baggies of cocaine lying around as they are to see throw pillows." [Gatecrasher]
• "Your blob [sic] is very funny and clever. You have so much fun with it. No wonder everyone loves it." — Diablo Cody's mom. [Page Six]
• "When the show started it was such a different beast. It was exciting and dangerous and funny and edgy and bizarre. [Then] it started feeling a little complacent, and that was very frustrating… When you have a jewel, why not polish it and put it out there for all to see?" — Nicolette Sheridan on Desperate Housewives, which she felt never gave her character enough attention. (Her last episode airs Sunday.) [LA Times]
• "Edie's already slept with most of the guys on the street and has caused about as many problems as she could. We will find a new kind of sexiness coming through Wisteria Lane. What I won't do is cast another fortysomething sexy blonde. [Sheridan] performed the aging neighborhood tramp better than anyone has ever done before." — Desperate Housewives creator Marc Chery. [LA Times]
• "I think a wedding is about love, friends, family and fun. I think spending millions of dollars on a wedding is ridiculous and it has never been my dream. I would never do that." — Salma Hayek, denying she is planning an extravagant $2 million ceremony to follow her City Hall nuptials in February. [People]
• "I think this movie presents the relationship between the media and the government - and it's kind of interesting because it says that the institutions are both a little bit corrupt." — Ben Affleck, on State Of Play. [LA Times]
• "I have a little blog that I do with some friends, but beyond that, I'm kind of clueless when it comes to the Internet. I just got e-mail down pat. So I've got to speed it up, I guess. But I tend to get my news from the radio. I don't know why, it's just the way I like it." — Rachel McAdams. [LA Times]
• "I kind of value having people not know where I am or what I'm doing." — Zac Efron, who avoids MySpace and Facebook. [Reuters]
• "I have never seen that (From Justin to Kelly), other than the time I had to sit through it at the premiere. I was contractually obligated to, and I fought that with tears - I did not want to do that movie." — Kelly Clarkson. [MSNBC Scoop via Rolling Stone]

• Brad Pitt's mom was supposed to move into the Long Island estate where the posse is staying while Angelina Jolie films Salt, but Angelina has reportedly nixed the idea.

She thinks Brad should be able to handle the kids on his own, like she did when he was filming in Germany, according to a source. No word on what is up with the nanny, but that was a Star story and this is from a different source. [National Enquirer]

• Jen Aniston and John Mayer have indeed broken up. [Gatecrasher]
• It's official: Dancing With The Stars is a goddamn health hazard. Now Steve-O has pinched nerves. [ET]
• Injured Jewel will sing "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" on DWTS on Tuesday. [UPI]
• Bong boy Michael Phelps's interview with Matt Lauer will air on the Today show this morning and again Sunday on Dateline. [ET]
• Here's what you're gonna hear Michael Phelps say during the interview: "mistake," "bad judgment," "stupid mistake." Wait, do you regret it? [People]
• Last week, four of the celeb weeklies put Rihanna on the cover, and none of them saw an increase in sales. Life & Style had a picture of Jennifer Aniston on the cover, and sold more than sister mag In Touch. [NY Post]
• Chris Brown's image still appears on Sony Music's website. [NY Daily News]
• Details on Mandy Moore's wedding to Ryan Adams: The bride wore a "cream-colored, lacy tea-length dress and flat sandals" and the groom wore "tight skinny jeans, a T-shirt with sport coat and sneakers." The pastor "didn't know who they were." The ceremony took eight minutes. [People]
• The woman is dead but Anna Nicole Smith's legal issues live on: Now Howard K. Stern has turned himself in for providing ANS with prescription drugs. He was arrested and booked yesterday and the charge is a felony. [TMZ, People, Fox 411]
• This report begins, "Let's stop encouraging Joaquin Phoenix's miscreant behavior - the only thing real about this rap act is the beard." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Joaquin's "brawl": "It was a fake fight," says a witness. "Nobody threw a punch. They were just holding onto each other." [Page Six]
• Here's what Hayden Panettiere has to say about that "outburst" she had on the red carpet: "I have tremendous respect for the media and reporters – particularly the press who treat the people they are interviewing with dignity. While in Hawaii, one reporter grabbed me suddenly from behind and frightened me. It happens. Typically, the press has treated me with great respect." [Ok!]
  
• Will Slumdog's Freida Pinto be the new Bond girl? Signs point to yes. [The Sun]
• Kelly Killoren Bensimon may have "beaten up" her boyfriend to make sure she stays on Real Housewives. People are saying the attack was fake. [Gatecrasher]
• Someone is leaving House. Who, who? Also, Judy Greer is in an episode next week. She says: "[My character] works at a nursing home and there's a cat, and whoever's bed the cat sleeps on dies in the next couple of days. And then one day the cat snuggled up to my character and she totally freaks out and goes to see House..." [E!]
• Miley Cyrus wanted to meet Radiohead after the Grammys. She was told they "don't do that." She says: "I left 'cause I was so upset. I wasn't going to watch them. Stinkin' Radiohead! I'm going to ruin them. I'm going to tell everyone." Radiohead responds: "When Miley grows up, she'll learn not to have such a sense of entitlement." [Mirror]
• Feel like doing a *headdesk*? Peaches Geldof will be in a reality show about her "career" at Nylon magazine. [The Sun]
• No one wants you to forget that auction documents show that Michael Jackson's house was filled with sculptures of boys. [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton has a job! She's been cast in a CW show produced by Ashton Kutcher. "Ashton developed it about his life growing up as a model from Iowa, so it's about the whole fashion world that he was in, and obviously I have a lot of friends in the fashion world, so I'm used to being around a lot of people in that," Barton says. "[I play] a bitchy model-type character, like it's a totally different character for me." [People]
• Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson did an SNL skit about Hawaii's tourist industry and now the Governor of that state is pissed. [CBS News]
• Congrats to Cesar Milan, the dog whisperer, who is now a U.S. citizen. [People]
• Hugh Hefner is selling his house. Not the Playboy Mansion — the one next door, where his wife was living. [WSJ]
• OutKast's André Benjamin says it's tough being a fashion designer because people think "hip-hop stars will just throw their names on anything." And: "I'm not a gay man." [Page Six]
• Set your DVR: Tracy Pollan (Mrs. Michael J. Fox) is playing Natalee Holloway's mom in a Lifetime movie. [USA Today]
• Nicollette Sheridan could return to Desperate Housewives after she leaves this season. The show's creator says: "I wouldn't be surprised if that's just a nasty rumour and Nicollette has more Desperate Housewives episodes in her future." [Mirror]
• Vin Diesel says his life has changed in "an incredible way" since the birth of his daughter last year. [Mirror]
• Chris Cornell not only has a new Timbaland-produced album coming out, he has a second career as a restauranteur. In Paris. [Guardian]
• A screenwriter is suing the makers of the Jane Fonda/Jennifer Lopez flick Monster-In-Law, accusing them of stealing her plot. Sorta late, no? [E!]
• Researchers with too much time on their hands have "discovered" that if you listen to U2, you're smart, and if you listen to Lil Wayne, you're not. [The Sun]
• Whatever happened to Mary Stuart Masterson? She's in a new indie called The Cake Eaters. [LA Times]
• Least blind blind item ever? "Which rapper threatened a pal after the buddy mistreated his girlfriend? The icon got in his face, then froze him out on the group's private jet." [Gatecrasher]
• "I certainly try my best not to be a terrible interview subject. But I am tortured. If you've been acting all your life, you can just talk about yourself without ever thinking about what's going on inside the head of the person that's interviewing you. But for me it's different, because I'm constantly seeing it from both sides. I don't think there's any connection between my journalism career and my film career." — Greg Kinnear. [Independent]
• "I think that the best way to judge movies is, like, 10 years after they're released. I think they should actually do the awards that way. I think they should have done the Academy Awards this year for movies from 1998. I think it's better to look at a movie and then step back and look at it again. I don't think that the awards necessarily get it right. I think they get it wrong more often than they get it right." — Matt Damon, to Parade. [MSNBC]
• "For me this thing happened so long ago and I just really wish people could move on from it. I don't live in the past. When I read headlines about me saying 'When she was 15 her mother shot her father' it's very sensational for me.It happened 18 years ago. Since then I've had a complete, full life and, my God, if I've been living the past 18 years in the past because of one event that happened in my life someone should put a gun to my head and put me out of my misery because that's a waste of my life. I am 33 and I have had a much bigger life than that one event." — Charlize Theron. [Daily Mail]
• "I'm probably a lot more boring than I used to be and more tired at night. You can't fake it. It's like when it's bedtime, it's bedtime. I go to bed earlier and I get up earlier. I think being a parent changes everything about you in really little ways and in ways that you don't really understand unless you have kids. It's kind of like describing a guitar chord - it's not really a simple thing to do." — Matt Damon, to Parade. [Mirror]
• "Before we were married, my wife and I used to play a game called Let's Go Get Lost. We'd be driving, and she would just tell me to turn. 'Turn here, turn here, turn here.' I'd say, 'Baby, I know this town too well. I can't get lost.' And she'd say, "Turn, turn, turn." Until we were out in Indian country, and they were shooting at us." — Tom Waits. [GQ]
• "I'm kind of frightened of the red carpet. I really am. And, you know, it gets worse. At one time, you could just come down the line, meet the fans, see the film and hopefully a good night is had by all. It's changed. You have people checking out your dress from the minute you step onto the carpet and then, you know, it's a hit or miss. That can be more frightening than the premiere." — Julia Roberts. [CBS News]
• "I'm currently in the writing process. I'm learning how to play music and write song, but they're comedy songs. Because I can't write music or play very well - actually, I have quite a bit of musical aptitude when it comes to the guitar, but I don't know how to write music - I'm collaborating with different artists who are giving me the music while I provide the lyrics. Two of the people I'm collaborating with will be performing with me at SXSW - Patty Griffin and Amanda Palmer [of the Dresden Dolls]. [The songs] are all pretty dirty. The titles are things like, 'I'm In Love With Someone Else So Fuck You' and 'Eat Shit and Die.'" — Margaret Cho, who is performing at SXSW… as a musician. [Time]

[Vienna, Austria; February 19. Image via Getty]

• Michael Jackson is dying, according to the oh-so-reliable National Enquirer.

A source says: "Painkillers and booze have caught up with him. The only way he was able to cope with the stress of sex scandals and his roller-coaster life was to mask the pain with substance abuse." Another insider claims: "His muscles and lungs are deteriorating, and he's bedridden much of the time. He can walk, but not for very long." [Newser, National Enquirer]

• Shh! Secret Oprah/Obama party in honor of the inauguration! Pass it on! [Page Six]
• Are Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt married? Or does Taraji Henson have trouble remembering the word "partner"? [The Sun]
• You know how, in W, Brad Pitt claimed that he and Jennifer Aniston "still check in with one another"? The New York Post's Cindy Adams says: Toro caca. Brad and Jen haven't spoken in three years. [NY Post]
• Anne Hathaway skipped the Bride Wars premiere party to go smoke cigarettes and play pool. [Page Six]
• Sixteen-year-old Frances Bean Coban checked out a $6.5 million Manhattan penthouse recently. Without her mom. Will she buy it and leave Courtney on her own? [NY Post]
• Will Tom Cruise go on Friday Night With Jonathan Ross? [Telegraph]
• Amy Winehouse continues to hang out with this random dude, Josh Bowman, in the Caribbean; yesterday she serenaded him from the piano at a hotel bar. [The Sun]
• Congrats to Lisa Bonet and hot hottie Jason Momoa, who (maybe) welcomed a boy in mid-December. The name? Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa. According to Jason's mom, "He was born on the stormest, rainy night. Nakoa(warrior)...Mana(strength/spirit) Kaua(rain) po(dark)... The name was always going to be Nakoa-Wolf, but Jason did the research on first middle name, 2nd middle name as you know is Jason's." Okay then! [ONTD]
• Did you know that Mario Lopez and Fergie were one another's first kiss back in the '80s? Anyway, now that Fergie is getting married, Mario says: "I'm happy for all of her success. She deserves it. Josh is a great guy. They will be great together." [People]
• Dear Princess Beatrice: If you don't want your black BMW, which was a gift from your father, the Duke of York, to be stolen off the street in the West 1 area of London, don't leave your keys in the ignition. [Independent]
• Taylor Momsen, Gossip Girl's Little J, was seen dining with her dad in MD, making a big deal about trying not to be recognized… And no one cared. [Page Six]
• Finally! What we've all some of you have been waiting for: Tori Spelling is in negotiations to appear on the new 90210. [People]
• Say buh-bye to Balthazar Getty on TV: The writers and producers of Brothers & Sisters have changed scenes and storylines to phase out his character, Tommy Walker, before the season ends. [E!]
• Leonardo DiCaprio will star in the screen adaptation of Beat The Reaper, a novel by Josh Bazell, about a Manhattan emergency room doctor whose life becomes complicated when a mobster recognizes the doc from his former life as a hitman who went into the witness protection program. [Variety]
• Being on Celebrity Big Brother has given Coolio a platform to say all kinds of crap; today he claims that the difference between American chicks and Brit birds is that English women get drunk and hook up with people they don't even know. [Mirror]
• Take a deep sigh of relief: David Spade and Nicolette Sheridan are just friends. [E!]
• Blind items! 1. Which married-with-children cable TV honcho has been so helpful to an ambitious reporter who works for him, everyone thinks they're having an affair - including her boyfriend? Her beau dumped her flat after reading some incriminating e-mails 2. Which media mogul has been hitting on the flight attendant on his corporate jet - and her girlfriend? He offered the hotties an all-expenses-paid trip to Mexico City, but they laughingly declined. [Page Six]
• Additional blind item! "Which reality star announced in the middle of a business lunch, “Whoops, just got my period!” — and then kept eating as if nothing had happened?" [Gatecrasher]
• Some band has written a song calling for a confession from Casey Anthony, Caylee's mother and the prime suspect in Caylee's death. [Gatecrasher]
• SNL star Casey Wilson wants to play Suri Cruise: "I just have to give her a voice. She’s got a lot to say, a lot of opinions. She’s very smart and she can wear that Burberry coat like no other. But I think I’m going to make her arrive in a spaceship." [Gatecrasher]
• Dr. Jan Adams, the surgeon who operated on the late Dr. Donda West (Kanye's mom), was sentenced to a year in jail for DUI. He had a blood alcohol level of .20 percent. [The Life Files]
• Check out video of rapper T.I. on the witness stand as he fights a raise in child support payments (he already pays $6,000 a month!). A lawyer asks him what size house he lives in, and T.I., aka Clifford, says "A big one." [The Life Files]
• For some reason, Stephen Spielberg's image was being used on a flyer at the University of Wales, promoting their creative writing department. Spielberg's lawyers asked the school to cease and desist. [Telegraph]
• Those of you hoping to see Gandalf's wand are out of luck! Ian McKellen is not upset that the nude scene from his version of King Lear won't be shown when the stage play is shown on TV. "Every night, when I'd take my clothes off, you know what I used to do? Pull in my stomach. That's pathetic. I was playing an old man. I should have let it all hang out, and I couldn't do that." [AP]
• "Noel Gallagher wants me to play him in a movie about his life? That is ridiculous, he must have been in a very good mood to say that. I'm way older than him anyway, so I couldn't play him, but I love the idea, it's fantastic. I can play the guitar better than Noel can so I don't know how that is really going to work. I haven't had a call from Liam yet so I'll wait for that one." — Daniel Craig. [Telegraph]
• "Israel is a NAZI state… Israel has enough money to pay each and every Palestinian to not shoot at them." — Roseanne Barr. [Page Six]

• So many questions about John Travolta's late son: Could Jett have been saved? Was he autistic? Is Scientology to blame? [Mirror]

• Before he died, Jett Travolta had been taken off of his anti-seizure meds. [TMZ]
• A friend of John Travolta's says, "The desire to protect Jett informed everything John did," including flying his own plane. [Daily Mail]
• And! Looky here: More people are blaming Scientology for Jett's tragic death; saying the religion is responsible for the "willful non-treatment of mental health and neurological disorders." [Hollywood Interrupted]
• A message from John Travolta and Kelly Preston: "We would like to extend our deepest and most heartfelt thanks to everyone who has sent their love and condolences. Jett was the most wonderful son that two parents could ever ask for and lit up the lives of everyone he encountered. We are heartbroken that our time with him was so brief." [TMZ, Perez Hilton, Daily Mail]
• John Travolta held his son's limp hand in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, begging, "Jett, come on, Jett, come on, come around!" [NY Post]
• Oprah has called her buddy John Travolta to offer her condolences. [ET]
• John Travolta's friend and Chief Counsel, Mike Ossi, says: "I will defer to doctors and medical experts, but I don't want anyone to think that John and Kelly did not utilize all available medical and non-medical experts in an attempt to protect the interest of his children." [ET]
• Holy crap: Katie Holmes has spent £10 MILLION since moving to New York six months ago. If she moves, the economy will collapse! [The Sun]
• Do we believe that Scientology helped Tom Cruise overcome dyslexia? [Yahoo News]
• Gwyneth Paltrow is on a detox diet which bans dairy, gluten, meat, shellfish, all processed food, fatty nuts, potatoes and other related vegetables, condiments, sugar, alcohol, caffeine or fizzy drinks. "Happy" new year! [Telegraph]
• For some reason this story is about Kate Moss pregnancy rumors, even though she is seen smoking and drinking beer and her "stomach bump" appears to be abdominal muscle. [The Sun]
• Britney Spears is supposedly dating choreographer Sandip Soparrkar, but his Bollywood actress girlfriend says: "I don’t understand why Britney would stoop so low as to claim someone else’s boyfriend for her own. Sandip and I are very happy together." Uh oh! [Mirror]
• On the subject of Spears: Remember when cops used a decoy for Jamie Lynn Spears at LAX? The woman in question, Adessa Eskridge, says she was plucked from JLS's flight and told, "you're going to help us." Not asked; told. She didn't know why they slapped sunglasses on her and marched her into a crowd of paparazzi until later; she's suing for $100,000. [ONTD]
• Of course Barbara Walters has landed the first TV interview with Patrick Swayze since the Dirty Dancer announced he can cancer last year: Nobody puts Baba Wawa in a corner! [Contact Music]
• Host Samantha Harris wants hot hottie Hugh Jackman to appear on Dancing With The Stars, which would be awesome but will never happen. He's an actual star, see. [People]
• Speaking of DWTS: Karina Smirnoff and Maksim Chmerkovskiy are engaged. [NY Post]
• Michael Jackson, who may or may not be dying, wants to leave his share of the Beatles catalogue to Paul McCartney in his will. McCartney was furious in 1985 when Jackson outbid him to win the rights to the Lennon-McCartney songbook; Jackson wants to make peace. Remember when Mac & Jack were old-tymey buddies? [Mirror]
• Criss Angel is still using his freak "magic" on Holly Madison: They were seen having dessert with Holly's parents in Las Vegas on New Year's Day. Apparently this is the first time Holly's had her mom and dad to meet a boyfriend; was there something embarrassing about Hef? Other than his age, wardrobe and other gfs? [E!]
• Soulja Boy's rep has confirmed that the rapper was indeed assaulted last week; six men came to his home and robbed him and his friends. No word on whether the 18-year-old attempted to "Superman that ho." [Perez Hilton]
• Celebs use Twitter! John Cleese likes Marmite! Britney Spears hearts Japan! Yawn. [Daily Mail]
• Madonna's daughter Lourdes wants to be an actress: She's enrolled at the Professional Children's School, alma mater of Macaulay Culkin, Scarlett Johansson and Sarah Jessica Parker. Hopefully she's seen Swept Away and can just do the opposite of whatever that was. [Daily Mail]
• Speaking of Madonna, her brother conducted an interview from in his bed, in pyjamas and striped silk gown, reclining on two enormous Versace pillows. Of his book, Christopher Ciccone says: "She probably thinks of it as a desperate attempt for attention and money. And, ultimately, a betrayal. I think of it as a thesaurus - it's different ways of defining people and myself - and also as another piece of art." Plus: "I was born my mother's son, but I will die my sister's brother." [Guardian]
• Playwright and actor Sam Shepard was arrested on DUI charges in the town named Normal, Illinois over the weekend. [Breitbart]
• Is Amy Winehouse trying to get her groove back? She was seen kissing Caribbean singer Shayne Ross in St. Lucia right before Christmas. Once you go black… (And remember this?) [Mirror]
• Amy can walk on her hands, btw. [The Life Files]
• Are Prince William and Kate Middleton on the verge of getting engaged? They're staying in some "fairytale log cabin" where some think he's about to pop the question. [The Sun]
• Prince William and Prince Harry are setting up their own private office, which is "a significant step for the two young princes in establishing some independence from their father." [Telegraph]
• Ew: David Spade and Nicolette Sheridan might actually be a couple. [E!]
• Fergie, the Duchess of York, now rules a business empire; in addition to designing jewelry and writing, she's producing an animated film of her children's book. Being royal just isn't enough these days. [Daily Mail]
• Heather Mills is pissed that her former nanny is suing her, claiming "sexual discrimination, intimidation and constructive dismissal." Poor Heather has already spent $14.5 million of her $35.3 million settlement, how can she be expected to live on what's left? [UPI]
• By the by, Heather Mills feels "betrayed" by the lawsuit. [Daily Mail]
• Gary Oldman got married on New Year's Eve — and his fourth wife — Alexandra Edenborough — is gorgeous, dammit. [ONTD]
• Breaking! Is David Beckham out of shape? [LA Times]
• Posh had better get used to a long distance relationship: Victoria and the kids won't join Beckham in Milan when he starts this weekend. [Independent]
• Kudos to you, Kylie Minogue, and your hot Spanish "toyboy" and your French Alps vacation, where you were seen acting like a "loved-up teenager." [The Sun]
• Rihanna's got a huge glittering rock on "that" finger so the rumor is that she's engaged to Chris Brown. [The Sun]
• Jermaine Dupri has written an essay about Barack Obama for The Huffington Post, in which he wails: "Obama hasn't even been sworn in yet and he's being pushed and pulled in all the different directions everyone else thinks he's supposed to go. Everywhere I look people are trying to steer Obama one-way or the other… Who's next in line to bitch?" [Huffington Post]
• Mickey Rourke relates to his character in The Wrestler: "Once you've been somebody, really, you have a career and you're a nobody anymore, and you're getting older, you're living what's called a state of shame. I went through that in the movie business, you know? You are alone." [CBS News]
• Michelle Trachtenberg will return to Gossip Girl, but the commenters over on ONTD are all, "do not want." [ONTD]
• If you like shabby chic, check out the "rock retreat" of Pearl Lowe, Gavin Rossdale's ex and the mom of Daisy Lowe. [Daily Mail]
• If you're dying to know who makes the clothes Whitney Port wears on The City, she has listed the designers in nauseating detail. [Whitney Port]
• Dan Clark, formerly known as Nitro on American Gladiators, says steroids gave him man boobs, shriveled balls and a "dull throbbing pain" every time he had sex. Good times. [Page Six]
• Stars like T.I., Adam Levine, Chace Crawford and Maria Menounos partied in Miami over the weekend. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which politico adulterer finds many normal objects to be too sexually suggestive, and has to have them removed from his sight while he’s making speeches? Word is he gets too distracted to focus on his notes!" [Gatecrasher]
• Ex-Danity Kane singer Aubrey O'Day will be on the March cover of Playboy, even though she exposed plenty of her epidermis already, on Complex. [Gatecrasher]
• Ranae Shrider, the woman who called Verne "Mini Me" Troyer her boyfriend, is still telling her weird and creepy story to whomever will listen. Now she claims he ordered her around "like a slave" and she ran all his errands while he spent the day Googling his own name. She also says she wanted to be his girlfriend but didn't want to have sex with him. Tsk, tsk. [Mirror]
• Oh, but Verne "Mini Me" Troyer is the favorite to win the UK's Celebrity Big Brother. So there's that. [The Star]
• Speaking of Celebrity Big Brother, apparently Coolio used the N word and caused a stir. [The Sun]
• Yesterday People reported that Tara Reid had checked out of rehab; this was not true. [E!]
• Tara Reid is still in rehab but "doing well." [People]
• Jeremy Piven is dating a black chick. [Page Six]
• Actor/director Richard Attenborough, 85, is in stable condition after a head injury after a fall in his home last month; he was in a coma but has regained consciousness. [UPI]
• "I would steal Kate Winslet’s roles. All her roles. Don’t talk to me about it because she can do no wrong in my eyes. Not only is she the most amazing actress in the entire world, she’s nude in a lot of her films which shows she’s just fearless. Her choices are impeccable. She literally can do anything. If she can just give me two of her roles, I’d be happy." — Eva Mendes. [Daily Mail]
• "People are so enamored of the character that when they see in a script, 'detective,' they think, 'let's bring Belzer in.' They did that on The X-Files, on Arrested Development, on Sesame Street. It's been so much fun." — Richard Belzer on being Detective Munch. [UPI]
• "Men come and go but there really is no relationship like the one you have with a dog — and then they don't live as long as they should. You have to say goodbye way too soon. It's just so sad. It makes me so sad. But their love is unconditional and I love that." — Jennifer Aniston, possibly explaining why she's dating noted dog John Mayer. [The Sun]

• Sources say Paula Abdul is basically done with American Idol. Just like when she sees a mediocre contestant, it's all: "Thank you, but no." [MSNBC Scoop]

• Former American Idol producer Nigel Lythgoe says maybe it was the producers' fault that "stalker" Paula Goodspeed ended up in the same room with Abdul on the show: "We've seen over 700,000 contestants. And one has made a terrible, terrible mistake." [People]
• Macaulay Culkin's sister Dakota died yesterday in a terrible traffic accident in L.A.; she stepped off a curb and was struck by a car. [TMZ]
• Scarlett Johansson talks about hubs Ryan Reynolds: "Getting married is a huge moment in anyone's life, and the few months leading up to it were a little crazy. But Ryan and I are in love, and we're enjoying evolving our relationship together. I feel that my life and my work are heading in the right direction." Also? They're both very romantic. Just so you know. [Perez Hilton]
• Holy sunglasses! Stevie Wonder might be the next contestant on Dancing With The Stars. Stevie sez: "It'd be fun. It's not impossible, but right now it's just a thought… Come on. You've got to think. If I have 7 children, I've got to be able to dance right?" [Perez Hilton]
• Oooh, a book exposing secrets about Martha Stewart? Written by a member of her own family? Intimate details of Martha's boozing, eating and crying binges… the stars she hates, what really happened in prison and her "special" lady friend. A good thing? [Jossip]
• Tom Cruise's new flick, Valkyrie: Reviews are meh. Not good for a $90 million picture. [Fox 411]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty are still going strong; they were seen checking out some rock show in Hollywood. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Watch Sienna miller act like a mental patient as she wanders around in a hospital gown and smears blood on a wall in this video by UK band The Hours. Deep. [Just Jared]
• Mariah Carey's world tour is canceled. Bun in oven? [Perez Hilton]
• Britney's kid burped while she was wishing people Merry Christmas in a video or her site. Charming! [People]
• Heath Ledger's family is "so proud" the actor got a Golden Globe nomination for The Dark Knight. [People]
• There's a London couple being sentenced for supplying drugs to a "hit list" of celebs including — wait for it — Amy Winehouse. [The Star]
• "Of the 90 or so actors to grace the Saturday Night Live stage since its first show in 1975, only eight have been African-American." Boo. And ridiculous. [Gatecrasher]
• Here's everything you never wanted to know about how Samantha Ronson is suing the lawyer she hired to stop Perez Hilton from spreading rumors about her and how the lawyer is suing her right back and how blogs are writing about the whole thing. [LA Times]
• Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard are joining the cast of Classic Stage Company’s production of Uncle Vanya. Pretty daamn cute, being in a plaay together. [NY Times]
• Ugly Betty's Ashley Jensen is suing the host of Bravo's Flipping Out, Jeff Lewis over "aggressive threats and outrageous behavior." [TMZ]
• We've heard this one before but here it is again: Seal says Heidi Klum told him she was pregnant after their first date. "I laughed and said, 'Already? That’s amazing!' She said, 'Not with you stupid.' There was a pause of about 10 seconds," Seal says, "and I said, 'It doesn’t change the way I feel about you because the fact that you are here tells me that you think a lot about me.'" [Mirror]
• Enrique Inglesias groped a 17-year-old girl on stage in London while singing to her. Well, he put his hand on her heart. But that is kind of close to some other stuff. The young lady in question, Maria from Essex says: "I had such an amazing night. I'll never forget it. It felt like a dream. He's so hot." [Mirror]
• Gilmore Girls star Lauren Graham is coming back to primetime! Look for her in an ABC comedy from writer Alex Herschlag (Will and Grace) about a self-help guru who teaches women how to live a stress-free life — but struggles to follow her own advice when her boyfriend dumps her. [Variety]
• Eminem and Dr. Dre are back in the studio, and Em says he and his mentor are "up to our old mischievous ways." Good news. [Reuters]
• Real estate drama between Nicolette Sheridan and former fiancé Michael Bolton: Dude is homeless! [Page Six]
• Did Gwyneth Paltrow have a boob job? [Page Six]
• Axl Rose is anthropophobic — afraid of people. Some people are probably quite Axlphobic. [Page Six]
• If you smell the pungent scent of marijuana, know this: Willie Nelson cannot be far away. [Page Six]
• Kim Raver's heading to Ethiopia for UNICEF. [Page Six]
• Whitney Port has finally discovered that L.A. guys are trolls and New York guys are "more confident and know what they want." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which rehabbed starlet convinced a group of college kids to bring her a big bag of powder? She hoarded all the drugs for herself before kicking the kids out of her hotel. But the crew had the last laugh - they stole her entire liquor stash as they left." [Gatecrasher]
• Rihanna and Kelly Osbourne are coaching Nicole Richie as she prepares to release her debut album? Does this mean corsets and "Papa Don't Preach"? [Daily News]
• ALL 13 streets on a new £400million estate are being named after Rolling Stones hits. [The Sun]
• "I've heard stories from my aunts and uncles and my dad, I had an attitude about Germans, a prejudice about them. I speak several languages and I'm interested in languages. I can read a German paper slowly and can almost figure it out, yet I don't speak German and I realize I don't want to speak German. I don't like the way it sounds and I don't like being in Germany. By playing a German and trying to be honest about it I sort of got past that prejudice and judgment... Germans are people too!" — Viggo Mortensen. [Daily Express]
• "Mental disease is the only thing you can be diagnosed with and get yelled at for having. Why is that? From the moment I was diagnosed there was a certain sense of euphoria and 'Thank God' we figured this out. I thought that I'd become such a curmudgeon." — The Sopranos' Joe Pantoliano, who was miserable despite the success and family he'd always wanted. (He was diagnosed with clinical depression.) [AP]
• "I loved her, no question, in the proper platonic sense but, yes, I loved her. We were filming one day and I kept her waiting on set because I was still in my caravan, playing cards. She stormed in and shouted: 'You are a real nut and I've met some nuts in my day.' And then she hit me. A couple of hours later, I went to see her and gave her a present to say I was sorry for keeping her waiting. She said: 'Don't worry, pig. I only hit the people I love.'" — Peter O'Toole on Katharine Hepburn. [Daily Mail]
• "Some people believe that if you date a person from another race you are somehow denying who you are. They believe that dating someone with a different skin color somehow makes you a self-hater, loathing that which makes you yourself. They believe that it's an insult to your parents, ancestors, heritage and community. I find this view much more telling about the people who say this than about those who do find a physical, spiritual, mental and emotional connection with someone who looks different than themselves. Choosing someone who I am physically attracted to and who also inspires, uplifts, educates and keeps me interested is my first priority- not their race." — Russell Simmons. [ONTD]
• "I've never played super-dark in a film. I think I'd be curious to do it. If a character comes along that I find really compelling and it works out that the director wants to go that direction with me, I'm totally willing to try. I've actually auditioned, but I think people have a hard time making the leap from — I don't want to use this as a cop-out, but my energy is not dark, my being is not dark. Oh, gosh — I can be very dark… I become very Eeyore." — Amy Adams. [Washington Post]
• "WHAT I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day" - Phyllis Diller in Bruce Littlefield's book, Merry Christmas, America!. [Page Six]
• "I have excellent facilities for ablutions, should you ever tire of the sweating and such. I'd be happy to scrub your back - from a safe distance." "We could meet early evening and bolster your rightly damaged ego with orgasms." "Come and see me in the daytime. We could generate a satanic infant." — text messages to ladies from Russell Brand. [Gatecrasher]

• Amy Winehouse and Blake Formerly Incarcerated: Dunzo. He's left her for a German model; she's admitted that it was never going to last and that they were "only together for sex." Keep in mind that this report comes from a terribly disreputable paper. [News Of The World, Page Six]
• By the by, Blake Fielder-Civil's jail sentence appeal was refused by two judges. [The Sun]
• "Impeccable" sources say Guy Ritchie is banking $70 million of Madonna's money as part of the divorce settlement. That kind of cash will buy a lot of rounds at the pub! [Perez Hilton]
• Oy, Alex Rodriguez is a "Kabbalah school dropout." Madonna will not be happy about this. [MSNBC]
• That was quick: Michael Jackson has settled his court case in which be was being sued by a sheikh. [BBC News]
• Bloody hell. The Twilight sequel has been greenlit. [UPI]

• Brad and Angelina's family is just as cute and perfect in real life as they claim to be. [Page Six]
• OMG Barbara and Jenna Bush helped take Sasha and Malia Obama on a tour of the White House and all of the girls totally jumped on the beds! Says Laura Bush: "They're really tall beds; you need to get a running start." [People]
• Will Leona Lewis team up with Beyoncé and Jay-Z for Barack Obama's inauguration concert? [The Sun]
• Larry Rudolph, Britney Spears' longtime manager, discusses her documentary: "There just came a moment where she decided to get up, brush herself off and move forward. She had hit a low point in her life. She realized that and everybody else realized that. She wanted to get to a better place." Plus, there's A clip! [LA Times]
• Britney made an unexpected appearance in court Friday for a hearing on her ongoing conservatorship. [Yahoo News]
• Jessica Alba ate Nutella crepes at a downtown Manhattan restaurant, where the staff said the meal was "on the house," so she left a $200 tip. Classy. [Page Six]
• In this in-depth piece about Nicole Kidman, we learn that while Keith Urban is on tour and Nic rides around in the tour bus, "She likes to sneak away and go to people's garage sales. 'All I need is a hat, and I go,' she says. She bought little ceramic candle holders at one sale, she says, and embroidered Christmas stockings at another, 'when it wasn't anywhere near Christmastime. I love it.'" [Washington Post]
• Johnny Depp's movie took over a highway in Wisconsin; the detour traffic made a road collapse. Whoops! [AP]
• Ooh: Today is the day that Boy George is due to stand trial; he's accused of assaulting and falsely imprisoning a male escort. [The Star]
• How do people in the Bronx feel about the name Ashlee and Pete Wentz chose for their baby boy? Not impressed. [NY Times]
• "Bronx is beyond precious. I'm over the moon with joy," says Jessica Simpson. "Life is a beautiful miracle. Ashlee and Pete are healthy, happy and enjoying every moment." Cool, cool. Do people really say "over the moon"??? [UPI]
• Nicolette Sheridan, who ended her engagement to Michael Bolton about three months ago, was seen making out with "Hollywood Lothario" David Spade Friday night. Just let that image settle in. [Star]
• Even though Michael Phelps has professed his love for McDonald's, he has a deal promoting Subway. How did the sandwich chain land the deal? [AdAge]
• Illeana Douglas has a (laminated) message for the paparazzi, you should click and see. [DListed]
• Pleasure principle: Janet Jackson is going to take a break from music to focus on having a baby with her boyfriend Jermane Dupri. [Daily Express]
• The economy takes no prisoners: The Tyra Banks Show is moving to the CW's afternoon block after being in syndication for four seasons. Stations have been making budget cuts, so Tyra's production schedule will be cut to 26 weeks from 34. [Reuters]
• Natasha McElhone says her mission now, besides acting and providing for her family, is to complete some of the work her late husband, a doctor, began: "to finish his life, to finish his unfinished business." [LA Times]
• In this interview with Stephen Colbert, he discusses meeting Eleanor Holmes Norton (the District's delegate in Congress): "I felt so dirty. I felt like a piece of meat. I find being a piece of meat very exciting. In my last life, I think I was a veal cutlet." [Washington Post]
• Paris Hilton has been "constantly texting" Benji Madden and trying to show up at clubs where he is supposed to be. [Mirror]
• You can buy a silk couch owned by Jenna Jameson on eBay if you have $9,500 to spare. It's pearl gray. [DListed]
• Even though the economy is in the crapper, there's stuff celebrities won't give up: Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss needs her coffee; Jessica Biel must travel first class; Hilary Swank gets facials; supermodel/ANTM judge Twiggy must have pink Champagne, and much more [WWD]
• Dora The Explorer is getting a new voice: Will kids notice? [Page Six]
• Blind items: 1. Which ex-couple — an actor and a model — still share some aspects of their sex life? Both are known to sleep with a famous Lower East Side topless dancer who has a reputation of never going home alone. 2. Which TV host has such good rapport with his fetching female co-host that his wife has correctly guessed they're having an affair? [Page Six]
• No Doubt: On tour, summer 2009. [People]
• Ben Stiller and Chris Rock: "Israel is better than Hollywood." [AP]
• Dita Von Teese is suing Macmillan Publishers, which printed Patti O'Shea's In Twilight's Shadow, a paranormal romance novel about demon hunting. For some reason, Dita's face is on the cover. She certainly did not give permission. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Now that the Daily Mail has apologized to David Duchovny for printing a story about him having an affair with his tennis instructor, Duchovny's dropped his $1 million lawsuit. [E!]
• Travis Barker is suing the owner and makers of the "defective" Learject that crashed September 19, killing four and leaving him and DJ AM with severe burns. [Yahoo News via E!]
• So you know how Michael Lohan — Lindsay's dad — was going to box for charity? The parole board has stepped in, saying the boxing match can't happen because he spent 20 months in prison for attempted assault. Whoops! [Yahoo News]
• Will the Golden Globes not happen again this year? Last year is was a writers' strike; this year a Screen Actors Guild strike could cancel the event. [Fox News]
• Hollywood veterans and experts from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology are spending $25 million on a lab called The Centre for Future Storytelling. Matt Damon is involved. [Times Of London]
• Lily Allen sought therapy after her miscarriage: "I was in a very, very dark place after the whole thing happened. That was the toughest thing I've had to go through in my life. [Therapy] is really, really helping me. I feel it's getting better and everything's going to be OK." [Mirror]
• Crazy stuff in this Q&A with Quincy Jones: His dad worked as a carpenter for the black mob, and in 1974 Q had two brain aneurysms. Oh, and Q talks about Frank Sinatra: "[He] was one of those guys where he liked you or he didn't. I got to know the Frank that nobody wrote about, the guy who visited Billie Holiday in the hospital to make sure her bills were paid and who took care of Amos and Andy when they were down on their luck. He was a stand-up guy who didn't see color, and that was rare back then." [Newsweek]
• Padma Lakshmi went to see the Foo Fighters and Dave Grohl dragged her on stage; she ended up playing tambourine with the band and getting hit on by Taylor Hawkins. [Page Six]
• Meg Ryan's Bel-Air house is for sale, if you have $19.5 million to spare. You get 6,877 square feet, a pool, spa, and guest house. [TMZ]
• Cedric the Entertainer may not be the obvious first choice for a Broadway drama, but he's getting good buzz for being in the David Mamet play American Buffalo. [NY Times]
• Cops are looking for a "Casanova conman" who claims links to Heath Ledger, Robert De Niro and Keith Urban and has left broken hearts and empty wallets across Australia. [News.com.au]
• Wow. A Keith Richards easy listening album. With a jazz version of "Over The Rainbow. Wow. [Telegraph]
• A doozy of a headline: "Camilla Admits To 'Letting Herself Go' Since She Married Charles... And Vows To Take Up Tai Chi As A New Year's Resolution." Lulz. [Daily Mail]
  
• Warren Beatty is suing over the rights to comic strip detective Dick Tracy. Apparently he's working on a Dick Tracy TV special? Who knew? [Reuters]
• Paul Newman's will was made public and he left his personal property, including real estate, to his wife, Joanne Woodward. His Oscars and other awards went to the Newman's Own Foundation; his airplane and race cars will be sold, with proceeds going to his estate. [AP]
• A Smashing Pumpkins show has been postponed; Billy Corgan's sick! [UPI]
• Billy Zane's parents closed down the Chicago med school they owned, leaving some students in the lurch. [UPI]
• Enya: Might tour for the first time ever. [Reuters]
• Oh, good (oh God?): The Vatican's newspaper has finally forgiven John Lennon for declaring that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ. Plus, The paper says the Beatles made music that is better than "standardized, stereotypical" songs being produced today. [Reuters, AP]
• Speaking of the Beatles, Paul McCartney says his conflict with John Lennon was over before the singer was shot. [UPI]
• investigators say Olivia Newton-John's missing boyfriend probably drowned while on a fishing trip. [News.com.au]
• A man who waved Samurai swords at a Hollywood Scientology building had a "previous relationship" to the church; he was shot and killed by a security guard. [AP]
• Rocker Bryan Ferry is dating his son's ex-girlfriend. The Roxy Music star is 63; the lady in question is 27 and his son is 22. A "pal" says the lady had fling with the son about 5 years ago. Yuck. [The Sun]
• Jodie Sweetin has filed for legal separation from her husband but is "trying to stay positive for Zoie," their 7-month-old daughter. [People]
• Why is a letter Princess Diana wrote to her royal footman on her honeymoon up for sale? And how sad is it that she mentions how "terribly lonely" she is? [Daily Mail]
• Rod Stewart and Penny Lancaster are trying for a baby. Yeah, he's 63, so what? [Mirror]
• "Ever since her Oscar nomination, Sophie Okonedo has been offered plenty of 'mini-skirted girlfriend' parts. But she'd much rather stay home and do nothing." [Telegraph]
• Blackadder: a Christmas comeback. [The Star]
• A New York rabbi paid $2500 at an auction to go out with ice skating queen Oksana Baiul. He says: "Well, I'm single, it's for charity, and she seems like a nice Jewish girl. I guess I'm the luckiest guy in my congregation." [Page Six]
• "My son would have been at that rally in Chicago when the first African- American president was elected, and I'm sure he would have gone up onstage and grabbed the microphone as only he could." — Ol' Dirty Bastard's mom. [Page Six]
• "I got drunk and lied to him. I said 'I've lost my keys and I can't wake my mum. Can I stay on your sofa?' He went to brush his teeth. I took my clothes off and jumped in his bed. It's the only way I can ever get together with people." — Lily Allen on her seduction technique. [Mirror]
• "I laugh when people say we don't get on. Of course we row. But we are best friends as well as partners. I don't think we'd know what to do without each other." — Kate "Jordan" Price on her relationship with her husband, Peter Andre. [The Sun]
• "Axl's a friend, and I don't want to compromise that. But as for 'fun' crazy: He wrote his (half) brother, Stuart, a $25,000 check every day to throw these lavish theme parties. It was like, we're in Indianapolis, so there were Formula One cars everywhere, with all the girls dressed up in pit-crew uniforms. It was decadence at the highest level I'd ever seen, a Caligula kind of outlandishness. There were orgies, sure. Was I involved? Yes. Well, I was in the same room — we'll leave it at that." — Lars Ulrich on being on tour with Axl Rose and Guns N Roses back in the day. [Perez Hilton]
• "Something else comes out of you when you become a parent and, as you get older, you start to see more character in your face. Now, when I look at myself, I just see somebody at peace, and I see a mom, and I see my own relatives in my face – and that’s a kind of beauty that exists for everybody and doesn’t disappear." — Angelina Jolie. [Daily Mail]

[Los Angeles, September 24. Image via INFDaily.]

[Brentwood, September 9. Image via < ahref="http://www.x17online.com">x17]

• "She's certainly telling friends she's planning to write a book," says a source close to Sam Ronson. "It's supposed to be about her, allegedly. But come on, you know Lindsay will be all over that book. She's the only one people want to read about." But! Michael Lohan says: "She's using my daughter. People never even knew who Samantha Ronson was until she met Lindsay. She was just some L.A. DJ. And now she's writing a book? I am at wit's end with this stuff. This is not in Lindsay's best interest." Oh dear! (And for the record, the Ronsons were on the New York scene before Lindsay ever shot Parent Trap. So.) [Yahoo News, The Sun]
• Michael Lohan thinks LL is drinking again. "Samantha drinks and passes the drinks under the table to Lindsay, and behind the scenes it gets worse and worse." [MSNBC]
• Nicolette Sheridan and Michael Bolton: Splitsville! The couple has been engaged since 2006 and started dating in 1992. They broke up after five years but got back together in 2005. Tell me how am I supposed to live without you? [Yahoo News, People]
• Related: Headline of the day: "Desperately Airbrushed Housewives: Latest Publicity Pictures Contrast With Recent Real Life Shots Of Stars" [Daily Mail]
• Matthew McConaughey's mom reveals her husband, Matt's dad, died while she was having sex with him: "On Monday mornings, he and I often said goodbye by making love. One day, all of a sudden, it just happened. I knew that something was wrong, because I didn't hear anything from him. Just nothing. But it was just the best way to go!" [Page Six]

• Ow, ow, Keith Urban has a slipped disc. Now who's gonna help Nicole with the baby? [People]
• Speaking of injuries, Kelly Osbourne's black eye was the result of a kitchen cabinet that fell on her face. Stupid Swedish box store. (Kidding!) [The Sun]
• Tom Brady spent $11 million on a plot of dirt in Brentwood, CA so he can build Gisele Bundchen a house. [TMZ]
• The ratings for the fourth-season premiere of The Hills were down. But! Lauren Conrad still gets $75,000 an episode! [Yahoo News]
• Madonna had a "meltdown" over technical problems that forced the screens to go out during several songs during her concert in Nice, France. I've got the moves baby, you got the motion. If we got together, we'd be causing a commotion. [Perez Hilton]
• Oooh, some love letters from the '90s Madonna sent to then-boyfriend James Albright might get released. Some are signed "Spanky" because she liked getting smacked on the ass during sex. [Mirror]
• Liz Hurley's in St. Tropez with husband Arun Nayar and best friend/ex boyfriend Hugh Grant. Amazing that Hugh and Liz dated for 13 years and stayed friends after breaking up in 2000. [Daily Mail]
• Please click and tell me wtf is up with Hayden Panettiere's birthday suit. [The.Life Files]
• DMX cursed at his judge while in court, which the judge didn't really like. And yeah, there is video. [The.Life Files]
• Jennifer Aniston won't be having plastic surgery, except for that deviated septum operation she had so she could breathe better. But everything else is yoga, cosmic energies and karma. [ONTD]
• Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth went to a 90210 party and mingled on opposite sides of the room, which is supposed to mean there's tension and underlying drama happening. [E!]
• A South African lady who claimed to be raising funds for an R. Kelly concert in 2005 swindled $130,000 from investors. But! She deposited the money into a bank account, and the account belongs to R. Kelly. Kelly's camp says there is no truth to these reports. [E!]
• Rosario Dawson, Jessica Alba , Eva Longoria, Fat Joe, Wilmer Valderrama and Sofia Vergara will party at Voto Latino's DNC event in Denver tonight. [Page Six]
• Rihanna is looking for a condo in L.A. for she and Chris Brown to move into, but it needs to be soundproof because they like to play their music loud. [Star]
• Pete Doherty's new autobiographical film is playing in an Austrian porn theater? [The Sun]
• This story is sooooo ridiculous. It claims that since there were rumors that Paris and Benji broke up, she decked him out "in a T-shirt with 'Obey' emblazoned on the front and parade[d] him around in front of the paparazzi, of course!" [Mirror]
• Extras from that sure to be sucktastic Tom Cruise movie Valkyrie are claiming £6million in damages after suffering broken bones, cuts and bruises while filming. The studio had better pay up! [Mirror]
• Snoop Dogg has still not been granted a visa to enter Australia for a tour. Waiting. [News.com.au]
• Kelsey Grammer is back playing Dr, Frasier Crane… In a Dr. Pepper commercial. Maybe you drink it with tossed salads and scrambled eggs? [Perez Hilton]
• Haley Joel Osment will make his Broadway debut in David Mamet's American Buffalo. I see theater people! [USA Today]
• Barbra Streisand's goddaughter threatened to kill a woman? [TMZ]
• Vanessa Minnillo says that Nick Lachey was the one who said "I love you" first in their relationship, not that you care. [People]
• There's an opera based on the movie The Fly opening in L.A. "I didn't want to remake the movie. I didn't want to rewrite the screenplay again," David Cronenberg says. "This production has a power and charisma all its own." [Reuters]
• Ben Stiller is being honored by the Museum of the Moving Image. [Reuters]
• Kenny Rogers' new CD: Available at Cracker Barrel. [Perez Hilton]
• "The doctor said the tumour was so small, he wouldn't have even noticed it except for the fact that it wasn't there on previous X-rays. I've learned that if you catch breast cancer early, the chances are overwhelmingly good that you'll be cured. So my attitude, which very much mirrored my mother's, was this wasn't a big deal." — Cynthia Nixon, speaking about the moment she learned she had breast cancer. [Daily Mail]
• "It was a pile of shit, wasn't it? I wanted to get a job in the can before my daughter was born. It was actually very pleasant for me. I didn't have much to do with Sharon Stone. And thank God because I heard she was a fucking nightmare." — David Thewlis, on making Basic Instinct 2. [ONTD]
• "My job is to not pay attention to what Tom Cruise did with the role in a similar way that Adam's is not to pay attention to what Dustin did. Is it going to be better? I'm not even thinking about that. The film came out in '88, right? I was 10. I've seen it twice in the last 20 years." — Josh Hartnett, on his stage production of Rain Man. [Telegraph]
• "I stay at 165 pounds and cook everything out of Cooking Light magazine. I only eat irresponsibly on Saturdays, which means bacon and candy. I am against [nips and tucks]. If you have bad plastic surgery, it looks like you were brought up poor, moved to LA and didn't make it. If it's good, you just look like somebody else." — John Waters. [Page Six]

The Good
This ain't rocket science people, it's Rachel Bilson. Can't remember when I've seen her look bad.
Emma Roberts looks stunning. I can't resist Paxil in the shape of a dress either.
I'm not sure who Francesca Gregorini is, but she's working a Jo-from-The-Facts-Of-Life look here. Jo Polniaczek is a fashion icon for the advanced, just so you know.
This just in: Michelle Trachtenberg might be my new Hollywood crush.
Please don't argue with me. I told you, I love Ione Skye's 90s babysitter ensemble. And look at her smile: She's perfect!
Just yesterday when Malin Akerman graced this page; she's obviously keeping up the good work.


The Bad:
Ann Getty looks a little blah, but she's so rich that by the time this is posted I might not ever be able to eat lunch in this town again.
Dear Carrie Whitman: Black stockings with a mini-skirt and calf-length boots don't work anymore. It's a little 5 minutes ago.com.


The Ugly
Nicolette Sheridan looks like a MILF-cougar-Hollywood B-movie pornstar. Wait, is that so bad?

[Images viaGetty]

• Nicole Richie and Joel Madden were seen partying Grammy weekend, so some random source says, "It's almost as if they aren't parents." Kind of a cheap shot. But yeah, the nanny is apparently working overtime. Mom and dad need to party! [Page Six]
  
• Guess who was on the set when Lindsay Lohan posed nude for Bert Stern's Marilyn Monroe-inspired New York magazine shoot? Not momager Dina, but 14-year-old little sis, Ali. Picking up tips on how to behave? [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Dad Jamie tells Britney's new bodyguards not to let her go to a bar or bathroom alone. Also, when she left a restaurant Saturday, she took a cup of coffee with her. [Page Six]
  
• Britney's ongoing custody case reconvenes in court today. First order of business: Who will rep Brit? The firm of Trope and Trope bailed. [E!]
  
• If you find Bindi Irwin vaguely terrifying, wait until you see her doll. [TMZ]

• Meanwhile, Robert Irwin, 4-year-old son of Steve, was bitten by a baby boa constrictor. "He said, 'I hope it wasn't venomous,'" his mom claims. (It wasn't.) [AP]
• Blind item! "The sobriety of which troubled starlet probably isn't being helped by the fact that her uncle deals weed out of the spare room in her mom's house?" [Gatecrasher]
• Jessica Simpson appears in a workout video, but she doesn't want you to see it! Even though she signed a multimillion dollar contract, she changed her mind and refused to give final approval. Speedfit is suing Jess and her dadager. Hey, it can't be any worse than Blonde Ambition. [Page Six]
• Do Michael Bolton's kids hate his fiancée Nicolette Sheridan? Do you care? [Rush & Molloy]
• Desperate Housewives' Marcia Cross's pregnancy: Life-threatening! "My eyesight started going, and I gained 12 pounds in one week," she says. "Both are symptoms of preeclampsia, a complication that is life-threatening for mother and baby. Within 12 hours of being diagnosed - at 35 weeks - I had a C-section." She now has twins, Eden and Savannah. [Rush & Molly]
• The new season of Dancing With The Stars will feature tennis star Moncia Seles, actress Shannon Elizabeth, magician Penn Jillette, actress Marlee Matlin and TV "personality" Adam Carolla, among others. Click for the full list! [People]
• Spencer Pratt on Heidi Montang's new album: "Madonna, eat your heart out. Britney Spears, eat your heart out. I would say we have diamond records coming - they're gonna sell 10-million plus." LOL. [People]
• Scarlett Johansson: "I learned I was a sexual being through David Bowie's songs." Thanks for sharing! [Mirror]
• Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson spent Valentine's evening together? Drinking at a pub? Harry + Hermione = ♥! [Mirror]
• There's a Bon Jovi documentary in the works, people. Who wants to bet it will be called Livin' On A Prayer? [UPI]
• "I feel at great pain when the spotlight is on the death of 4,000 American soldiers, while 600,000 Iraqi deaths are ignored. War is not a movie, it is a tragedy of dead bodies, victims, the disabled, orphans, widows and the displaced." — Sharon Stone. [AP]
• The driver of The Spice Girls' tour bus saw a car driving erratically. He called 911; it turned out to be a carjacking. The Spice Girls (and their driver) save the day! [AP]
• Oh! And The Spice Girls want to play Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday in June. Not that they've been asked. Yet. [Reuters]
• Brooke Shields' mother tells the National Enquirer that she's disappointed in Brooke and liked ex-husband Andre Agassi better than current hubs Chris Henchy. Sigh. [MSNBC]
• Pictures of Jennifer Lopez' twins will be on People in the US, but OK! internationally. [MSNBC]
• Monopoly, kitchen edition! Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia will acquire Emeril Lagasse's media and licensed properties. [Wall Street Journal]
• Mandy Moore's always been afraid of going on vacation alone. But she did it and had a great time, so is now the chair of uPumpItUp.com, a site aimed at helping women balance their "wellness." [Reuters]
• Olivia Newton-John is planning to walk along the Great Wall of China to raise money for a cancer charity. Does part of you wish she would do the walk in tight shiny black pants while singing, "You better shape up/cuz I need a man/And my heart is set on you..." ? [Reuters]

The Good: Jason Biggs and Jenny Mollen: I've got no idea who she is, but I do know that I think she has flawless taste. Love everything I see her in, this black dress included. Rather funereal, but I would wear Christina Applegate's all-black look. I can never understand how you can fail to remove your outerwear for the red carpet, and I don't generally approve of jeans on the red carpet, but I just can't bring myself to hate on Felicity Huffman. Good on Nicolette Sheridan. Lindsay Sloane's dress is too big and too long — and yet, I likey.

The Bad: Someone tell Eva Longoria that there's a flower sprouting out of her left breast. Also, why does she always dress like a 14-year old who bought the whole matching ensemble at Charlotte Russe? Lake Bell has been shopping in Judy Jetson's closet again, it seems. Why so blue, Katee Sackhoff? Mom jeans for all! Or at least for marrieds Jake Weber and Elizabeth Carey. Sarah Lancaster's dress should be good, and yet...it's not.
The Ugly: Leah Remini, it seems, is once again sharing clothes with Elvira. Bonnie Somerville: Reminding us of everything that was wrong with early 90's style.

[All images via Bauer-Griffin.]

[St. Barth, French West Indies; December 27. Image via x17]

• Kanye West's mother, Dr. Donda West, died Saturday in L.A. She was 58 years old. The cause of death has not been released. Dr. West was formerly the chair of Chicago State University's English Department. In her book, Raising Kanye, her son wrote in the foreword: "I have known my mom since I was zero years old. She is quite dope." [USA Today]
  
• Britney Spears has a new manager — her "friend" Sam Lufti. The same guy who may or may not have been trying to sell her emails to the tabloids. Stay classy, Brit! [Page Six]
  
• Uh, did Britney fail a drug test? [Perez Hilton]
  
• Maybe! The test came back positive, says a source. But the source also says it was a false postive. Maybe she had a poppy seed bagel? Also, did she run a red light with her kids (and court-appointed monitor) in the car — and not even notice, because she was texting? [TMZ]

• Oh, and is Britney on a medication called Provigil, which helps addicts kick cocaine? It was seen in her purse. Although it's also used to treat narcolepsy. It's hard to know what to think. [ONTD]
• View cohost Elisabeth Hasselbeck gave birth to a boy on Friday, and will call the show today to announce her son's name. YAWN. [People]
• Prince Harry and girlfriend Chelsy Day have split up. Some claim that Chelsy was fed up with Harry's playboy lifestyle. If you were a cute 23-year-old red-headed prince, would you settle down? [People]
• Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, has been "crying non-stop" in prison. He was moved to a medical unit, which is supposed to calm him down. "He's crying for Amy," says a source. "He's more concerned about her." Amy is said to be "furious" she can't visit him until tomorrow. Messy stuff! [Mirror]
• Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis says his imprisonment is "an abuse of the criminal justice system." And that someone is trying to get "revenge"on him. Hmm, we thought it was because he filmed underage drunk girls showering together? [ABC News]
• Hip-hop impresario Russell Simmons loves critters: He's releasing an anti-dogfighting PSA. [Page Six]
• Rocker Lenny Kravitz worries when daughter Zoe's skirts are too short. Why are devoted dads so hot??? [Page Six]
• While Ashley Olsen is seeing Lance Armstrong, Mary-Kate is dating hockey player Sean Avery, who's apparently a cad. Watch out, M-K! [Page Six]
• Kate Hudson as seen making out with Heath Ledger??? Oy. We're having trouble keeping up. Also, ew. [Page Six]
• Marilyn Manson's girlfriend, Evan Rachel Wood, says she's not bisexual, but "there have been times where I have been attracted to a woman. I'm not afraid of sexuality. I think too many people get shit and get called skanky or a whore just because they are sexual." [Page Six]
• Is 43-year-old Desperate Housewives star Nicolette Sheridan pregnant? [Mirror]
• Entertainment Tonight's Mary Hart sat down with "famous puppy" Iggy — of the Ellen DeGeneres debacle — for some "exclusive footage." No, it's not a joke. [ET]

[Los Angeles, November 5. Images via Splash.]

[Hollywood, October 23. Image via x17.]

[Pamela Anderson, Malibu, July 22. Image via X17]

[Britney Spears, Marina Del Rey, July 20. Image via X17]

[Cameron Diaz, Hollywood, July 22. Image via X17]

[Nicolette Sheridan, Hollywood, July 21. Image via X17]