The article, in today's Times of London, is ostensibly about the mysterious role Nicolas Sarkozy played in securing Roman Polanski's release into house arrest at Polanski's Swiss chalet in exchange for $4.5 million in bail kind of buries the lead a bit. Is the real story here the idea that Polanski might become a fugitive again, this time almost certainly for the rest of his life? They certainly do hint at that!:

"The Swiss authorities said that Mr Polanski would be allowed out once the agreed bail of 4.5 million Swiss Francs had been received. They have ordered that he should not leave his chalet - for fear that the first-rate skier might slip over the nearby border via a mountain pass into his adopted French homeland and escape US justice a second time."

Whoa! That's imaginative. But at least Polanski's electronic bracelet will keep him where he's supposed to be, right?:

"He will be under house arrest and has also committed to wearing an electronic monitoring bracelet," it added.

While the bracelet will help police to monitor if Mr Polanski is staying put at his chalet during his house arrest, experts said that if he fled, the set-up was not equipped with global positioning system and would therefore not help to track him down.

"The canton of Bern uses the first generation system ," said Jonas Peter Weber, a professor at the University of Bern.

"We can only check if the person is at home. If the alarm goes off and no police is in the vicinity , the person will be able to flee," he said."

So, like, this guy whose been a fugitive from justice for thirty years for child rape will be monitored by less technology than that found in the average iPhone. I'm just saying that all of this doesn't not sound like the beginning of an International Heist Movie.

Sarkozy "Very Effective" in Securing Polanski's Release [TimesOnline]

[Nanterre, October 23. Image via Getty]

Members of the French association 'Sauvons les riches' (Rescue the Rich) hold a 'Pre-Revolutionnary France Revival' protest close to the Hauts-de-Seine region general council on October 23, 2009 in Nanterre, west of Paris during the election of a new member to the board of the EPAD agency overseeing development in La Defense district, seeked by President Nicolas Sarkozy's 23-year-old son Jean. Sarkozy junior, an elected councillor in the rich Paris suburb of Neuilly, at the centre of a bitter row over alleged nepotism, abandoned on October 22 his bid for a job managing France's wealthiest business district. The inscription on the fan evokes neoptism. AFP PHOTO OLIVIER LABAN-MATTEI (Photo credit should read OLIVIER LABAN-MATTEI/AFP/Getty Images)

The attack on International Islamic University in Islamabad is the latest in a series of militant attacks around the country in recent weeks. Many schools in the area had closed this week because authorities warned that insurgents may be planning attacks. Half of the school's 18,000 students are female and most study secular subjects. • A French man accused of kidnapping and raping a boy after serving 18 years in prison for raping two other children has written to President Nicolas Sarkozy and asked to be castrated. France is currently debating forcing some sex offenders to be chemically castrated, but the man wants his testicles removed. • An Australian primary school has banned hugging and other "inappropriate behavior" between its students because administrators are worried the older students, who are 11 to 13, are setting a bad example for the younger ones. Principal Julie Gale says hugging between friends is not banned "but we do discourage displays of affection in the school yard among students ... who have a boyfriend or girlfriend at the school." • In March, the United Nations will consider 40 proposals to curb the trade of endangered animals including tuna used in sushi, corals that are made into jewelry, and sharks whose fins make soup. If passed, the animal trade would probably be regulated with a government permit system. • Female cat burglar Celeste Ricciardi allegedly looted four New York apartment buildings including her own by crawling into windows from the fire escape. The New York Post calls her "catwoman" and notes that she "has two cats." • Married British doctor Edward Erin has been found guilty of attempting to spike his girlfriend's drinks to induce abortion. Bella Prowse took several suspicious beverages he'd prepared to the police and they determined they were laced with drugs used to cause a miscarriage. Prowse gave birth to a son in September 2008 and Erin is awaiting sentencing. • Adrian Searle writes in The Guardian that with the death of Nancy Spero on Sunday "the art world loses its conscience." He says, "Her art could also be riotously funny and sexy as well as macabre, and she made many works which dealt with female jouissance and eroticism, pleasure and pain. Spero was a spearhead of feminist art in the 1960s, calling for greater recognition of women artists and women in the New York art world." • Prosecutors say they're worried Rod Blagojevich's appearance on The Celebrity Apprentice may prejudice potential jurors for his trial on corruption charges. A judge has ruled that he can appear on the show but prosecutors have asked that the judge limit what he can say on television. • A lock of hair believed to be Amelia Earhart's is actually just thread. A group looking for DNA evidence of Earhart on a Pacific island asked to examine the sample at the International Women's Air and Space Museum in Cleveland, Ohio, but found it was a fake. •

Even if you don't read Japanese, it's easy to get the gist of this "1 Month Review Of Carla" spread, and the editors put together a similar spread with Michelle Obama as the focus.


The "get the look"-type pages for both Michelle and Carla are cute.


But then there's this. A pale-skinned, blonde doll standing in front of a picture of the White House, clad in Louis Vuitton. You're thinking: "Yeah, but she's just posing. She's not replacing Michelle Obama."


Okay then. What the hell is this?


Don't worry, this doll gets around. She's also been seen with Sarkozy.


And she works with kids… Well maybe she doesn't work with them, but she does pretend to reach out to them.

Even more troubling: Michelle Obama and Carla Bruni are not big enough dreams for this gal.

She really wants to be Jacqueline Kennedy.

Or Paris Hilton.

Suu Kyi, 64, has been held under house arrest by the Myanmar government for 14 of the past 20 years. She was first detained following the last democratic elections held in Myanmar in 1990, which Suu Kyi's National League for Democracy won by a landslide. Suu Kyi has been told she is free to leave the country, which would end her imprisonment, yet if she does so, she will not be allowed reentry. She has chosen to stay in Myanmar, confined to her house in Rangoon, and retain her status as the leader of the National League for Democracy.

Suu Kyi went on trial in May with two of her companions for offering shelter to an uninvited visitor. John Yettaw, a 53-year-old American from Missouri, swam across a Yangon lake to reach Suu Kyi's residence on May 4th, supposedly to warn her of a dream he had, which showed Suu Kyi's assassination. Although she asked him to leave upon his arrival, Suu Kyi decided to allow Yettaw to stay at overnight her house while he recuperated from exhaustion. Suu Kyi was initially sentenced to three years in prison for harboring Yettaw, but the court immediately converted her sentence to eighteen months to be served inside the walls of her own home.

Her lawyers said Suu Kyi had anticipated the guilty verdict, and had been collecting a library of books to see her through a long prison sentence. Her low expectations were shared by other members of the Burmese legal system. "The court proceedings were just a sham," said one lawyer who works in Yangon. "From the beginning, she was predestined" to lose, he said. Yettaw, also on trial for immigration violations and swimming in a restricted area, was given a prison term of up to seven years, including four years of hard labor.

The sentencing of Suu Kyi has been condemned as an overt attempt by Myanmar's military junta to keep her out of the controversial elections planned for next year. Advocacy groups have been quick to voice their displeasure with the ruling. The Assistance Association for Political Prisoners, has called the decision "yet another travesty of justice," and the Human Rights Watch has deemed it "a reprehensible abuse of power." The Wall Street Journal reports,

The U.S. Campaign for Burma, a Washington, D.C. advocacy group, blasted "the military regime's kangaroo court system" and called for a global arms embargo, an investigation into crimes against humanity in the country, and further steps to tighten bank transactions involving members of the military regime.

The verdict "should really make it clear that it's game over – (the junta leaders) have no intention of bringing changes about in their country," said Jeremy Woodrum, a spokesman for the U.S. Campaign for Burma. "We think we need to take some concrete action, now."

The European Union has also demanded the immediate and unconditional release of Suu Kyi, UPI reports. Sweden, current president of the EU, said they are ready for "targeted measures against those responsible for the verdict," and plan to stiffen earlier measures against Myanmar, including an arms export ban, visa restrictions and financial sanctions. According to the New York Times, President Nicolas Sarkozy of France has called the treatment of Suu Kyi "brutal and unjust," and suggests that European sanctions should target profitable industries like timber and ruby mining.

The Guardian reports that British Prime Minister Gordon Brown has said he is "saddened and angry" at the conviction. He continued,

"[The sentence is] further proof that the military regime in Burma was determined to act with total disregard for accepted standards of the rule of law and in defiance of international opinion. This is a purely political sentence designed to prevent her from taking part in the regime's planned elections next year."

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has spoken out about the sentencing of Suu Kyi, as well as the other 2,000-plus political prisoners being held in Myanmar. "She should not have been tried, and she should not have been convicted. We continue to call for her release," she told reporters in Goma, Congo. Clinton has also asked for the release of Yettew, who suffers from epilepsy and diabetes: "We are concerned about the harsh sentence imposed on him especially in light of his medical condition." She said that if the Myanmar government must begin to address their human rights violations, "otherwise the elections they have scheduled for next year will have absolutely no legitimacy."

Suu Kyi Sentenced To 18 Months House Arrest [WSJ]
Suu Kyi Verdict Widely Condemned [UPI]
Clinton Demands Release Of Aung San Suu Kyi [New York Times]
Aung San Suu Kyi Found Guilty [Times]
Aung San Suu Kyi Found Guilty Of Breaking House Arrest [Guardian]
Clinton: Convicted Of Myanmar's Suu Kyi Wrong [AP]

• Reports are emerging that, on June 26, Angelina Jolie made an un-publicized, under-the-radar trip to visit wounded soldiers at Walter Reed Army Medical Center.

She did not have an entourage. She gave out gift bags with $1000 Best Buy gift certificates. All this is only coming out now because a wife of a wounded soldier blogged about it and a few people took pictures, which can be seen at the link. [ONTD]

• Lindsay Lohan and Kristi Kaylor — who runs Lohan's fashion line — have started a production company together. Several projects are in the works, including a TV show called Faux Real, which would be like Entourage, but in the fashion world; and a "docu-cause" TV show in conjunction with a charity. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson: Bringing home a kid? Ryan tells Glamour UK: "My oldest brother is adopted and I have every intention of adopting at some time. I'm very grateful for having my brother in my life. I couldn't be more pro-adoption. There are plenty of kids in the world that need it." [ET]
• Beyoncé will not turn her back on you! She has a "strict" rule for her "I Am ... Sasha Fierce" tour: Photographers aren't allowed to shoot her from behind. [Gatecrasher]
• George Clooney heals! He toured the ruins of L'Aguila, Italy — where thousands were left homeless after an April earthquake — and promises he'll shoot a film in the area, which should help the local economy. [USA Today, Mirror]
• Ryan Seacrest is working on a contract extension that will give him a major pay raise and make him one of the highest-paid reality hosts on television. Last season he made just under $5 million — about $100,000 per episode. [Reuters]
• This should be interesting: Chinese developers are working on a scaled-down replica of Neverland Ranch as a tribute to Michael Jackson. [Reuters]
• "By all accounts from those who have watched and been close to [Michael Jackson's] children, Prince Michael, 12, Paris-Michael Katherine, 11, and Blanket (Prince Michael II), 7, are not only normal, but model children: unaffected by fame, sweet, polite and very smart." [AP]
• Hmm. This report claims that Paris Jackson wants to record a tribute track for her father. [The Sun]
• The night before the public memorial for Michael Jackson, there was a private open-casket viewing where family members talked and cried. [People]
• Joe Jackson will attend a memorial service for Michael Jackson in the family's hometown of Gary, Indiana. [AP]
• The LAPD is investigating Michael Jackson's prescription drug history. [Breitbart]
• A former bodyguard claims Michael Jackson would leave doctors offices "out of it" and "sedated." [TMZ]
• More drug stuff here. [TMZ, NY Post]
• Joe Jackson suspects foul play in the death of his son. [ABC News]
• Michael Jackson used aliases — employees' names —- to get prescription drugs. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson's body is temporarily in a crypt belonging to Motown founder Berry Gordy. [People]
• Please. No. Please. Joe Simpson is pitching an Ashlee Simpson "concept album" on which she would sing Michael Jackson songs. Ugh. We need to nip this in the bud. [Page Six]
• Flying the friendly skies: French president Nicolas Sarkozy has named his new £50 million jet "Carla," after his third wife. [Telegraph]
• Mary Louise Parker is naked and baking a pie in this Esquire post, which has the browser tag "Mary Louise Parker Ass." Also, MLP has written "A Thank-You Note To Men," in which she says: "You can fix my front door, my sink, and open most jars…" [Esquire]
• By the by, Kristen Stewart thinks the pregnancy rumors about her are "ridiculous." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Kate Gosselin made a "secret, whirlwind" trip to Hollywood; Jon Gosselin is "in love" with a 22-year-old "party girl" named Hailey. Why Radar has pictures of Hailey holding a gun to someone's head is anyone's guess. [RadarOnline]
• In this piece, a beauty consultant speculates on all the waxing and skin treatments Sacha Baron Cohen must have gone through to become Brüno. [Daily Express]
• Have you read the bestselling novel Little Bee? BBC Films has acquired the story; Nicole Kidman will star and produce. (The plot: A16-year-old Nigerian orphan meets a vacationing upper-middle-class British couple who've wandered into an area outside the safety of their resort.) [Variety]
• A Jay-Z book — in which he comments about and tells the stories behind his lyrics — is in the works. [Observer]
• Lil' Wayne was supposed to perform in the Bahamas last year, but didn't show up, so "police went to his hotel room" and "found him passed out and unwilling to perform." Cue the lawsuit! [Page Six]
• Why was Jamie Foxx harassing Rihanna at a club? [Page Six]
• David Arquette plans on living inside of a Plexiglas box in New York City for a couple of days to raise money for the hungry. Interesting. [AP]
• Leonardo DiCaprio has settled a dispute with his Hollywood Hills neighbors over a basketball court on his property. [E!]
• Julianne Moore has pulled out of a film in which she'd play Hillary Clinton 12 days before production started in London; Hope Davis will take the role. [Telegraph]
• Zooey Deschanel was asked if she listened to any She & Him while shooting 500 Days Of Summer, and replied: "No, what am I, a jerk? I'm not going to go listen to my own music on set." [WSJ]
• Zooey has joined the cast of Your Highness, a comedy in which an arrogant, lazy prince must complete a quest to save his father's kingdom. Zooey plays the "virginal bride." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Best wishes and speedy recovery to Mariska Hargitay, who tripped over an umbrella while filming Law & Order: SVU in NYC and had to get 13 stitches. [Gatecrasher]
• "Chrissie Hynde still hard-rocking and sassy as ever as she talks about new album." [Mirror]
• "Monty Python's The Life Of Brian has been voted the most controversial film of all time by movie buffs." [Mirror]
• Jerry Seinfeld is the pitchman for a bank "in the boonies of Australia." Serenity now! [Page Six]
• "Raven-Symoné is not pregnant nor did she give birth." Noted! [People]
• Blind items! "Which online columnist is so aggressive about getting on TV that one network warned its male talent to keep a distance from her while she visited LA to cover the Michael Jackson story? She's already slept with several men who could help her career… Which wife in the middle of a nasty divorce is secretly dating a successful businessman? The affair, if it went public, would complicate the litigation, and her hot-tempered husband can be scary." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which freaky actor - who currently has a girlfriend - hit on a wardrobe consultant on the set of his latest film with the line, 'I like those jeans. Can I have your number?'" [Gatecrasher]
• "My family don't generally say that they're related to me - my sister doesn't say she's my sister — because they don't want to be judged or lauded based on who I am. I think my parents are happy about my career now, but originally I was like, 'Why don't you support whatever I want to do? If I wanted to sell beef on the street why wouldn't you want to support me?' But it's not about that. Parents never stop being parents, and yet you want them to be your friends at a certain age and that's just not going to happen." — Lucy Liu. [Daily Express]
• "I was no longer in control of my life. I thought I wanted certain things, but I didn't. I got lost. I felt suffocated, miserable and gross. I should never have gone down that route or got sucked in to all the publicity. I was typecast as myself. Too many people weren't getting past what they read about me. That was damaging. I can tell from experience it's bad for you, and bad for your career. So I took a break, went away for a while and let things calm down." — Ben Affleck, on his high-profile relationship with Jennifer Lopez. [ContactMusic]
• "I'd rather date someone who's regular. But what often happens is that she faces huge criticism like , ‘Why her? She's Miss. Ordinary.' …There is something quite devious about my personality. I'll do all the right things. I'll be the upstanding gentleman but behind closed doors, I want to let loose. As long as I know my secrets aren't going to get out. You know what I mean?" — Idris Elba. And! If you are interested, there's video of him speaking in his native English accent. [Necole Bitchie]
• "You can't help but have a punk aesthetic, to rebel against technology and the way music is presented to people these days. Real rock and roll isn't about MySpace pages and digital music. Those are accessories. That's the scarf on the jacket of real rock and roll." — Jack White, producer, band member, collaborator and head of Third Man record label. Oh! This interactive thingy is pretty cool. [WSJ]
• "I've gone bankrupt about four times now. My manager wants to shoot me. Every dollar I earn goes on the show. Now we're finally getting to a place where it's not bankruptcy. Then again, with another tour coming up soon I'll probably be homeless again." — Lady GaGa doesn't seem to have a savings account. [The Sun]

• Robert Bork gives an interview about Sonia Sotomayor, declares his favorite Justice is Clarence Thomas and basically acts like such a huge douchebag that he makes Scalia look cuddly. • The Supreme Court ruled today that Valerie Plame and her husband, former Ambassador Joe Wilson, can sue the whole government for outing her secret spy life, but not the individuals that actually did so. • Elsewhere in the government, women are joining the FBI and making their way up its ranks in ever-greater numbers. • Khadijah Williams spent most of her childhood homeless or nearly-homeless, but worked her ass off in school and is going to Harvard. • U.S. Ambassador to the UN Susan Rice recalls her own days as a female athlete and encourages women to send in their athletic pictures in celebration of Title IX's anniversary tomorrow. • Wired imagines that some day we'll be able to inhale our birth control, and not in a scary "the atmosphere is filled with poisonous chemicals" kind of way. • There's a consumer survey in which the characters from Mad Men ask you questions. No one cares what the survey is about. • Sometimes, women are sexually assaulted on cruise ships and there's not much that anybody does about it. • China is finally admitting that it has both an HIV problem and a number of sex workers, so they're trying to educate the latter about the former. • If you pay the site ManBabies $10, they'll swap a baby's face with a man's face and you'll get to be icked out. • It turns out that the most popular ways of measuring BMI actually overestimate the BMI of African-Americans, since it was designed around white people. It's like the SATs, only after you take this test, everyone calls you "fat." • Old married people who still really love each other show brain activity just like young people who just fell in love. As though you couldn't just look at an elderly couple holding hands and tell that. •

[Caen, France, June 6. Image via Getty.]

• Looks like Sean Penn spoke too soon when he filed for separation from Robin Wright Penn on May 19, citing "irreconcilable differences." Now they're trying to work things out again. The couple already filed for divorce in 2007, but reconciled in April 2008. [Extra TV]

• Officials in the Phillipines obviously didn't read Alec Baldwin's editorial in The Huffington Post, in which he apologized for saying he wanted a Filipino mail-order bride. Now he's banned from the country. "By being in the bureau's blacklist, Baldwin is forbidden from entering the country as he is deemed an undesirable alien," said an official from the country's Bureau of Immigration. [GMA News]
• One of Michael Jackson's back up dancers for his London concerts, Danielle Rueda-Watts, is a two-time pole dancing champion. She's won the Pole-A-Palooza competition in Las Vegas for the past two years. [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse was admitted to the hospital on Friday after she fainted, which her management blamed on dehydration. Now her rep says, "She was complaining of chest pains so the doctor advised her to come in and she was kept in for observation and then released." [The Mirror]
• British actress Lucy Gordon was found dead in her Paris apartment of an apparent suicide. She appeared in Spider-Man 3 as reporter Jennifer Dugan. [USA Today]
• In yet another interview with Kate Gosselin's brother and sister-in-law Kevin and Jodi Kreider, they claim Kate's now-estranged friend, Beth Carson, actually wrote Kate's book Multiple Blessings: Surviving To Thriving with Twins and Sextuplets. [Radar]
• Lauri Waring of The Real Housewives of Orange County wants more money from her ex-husband because she says she makes only $400 a month in her career as an insurance agent and "actress." [TMZ]
• In the video at the link, Nicolas Sarkozy drops in on his wife Carla Bruni during her interview with a French women's magazine. [The Guardian]
• Here's some telling evidence on what's wrong with kids today: British teens voted Lady GaGa's "Poker Face" the best song to study to. [The Star]
• In a video conference with Perez Hilton, Brooke Hogan let a white squiggly piece of paper hang out of her mouth to symbolize the doodles Hilton and his minions are so fond of drawing on celebs. She said, "I also have a big white penis on me. Can I take this off?" [Perez Hilton]
• Jordin Sparks has announced that she doesn't know if she wants to get serious with her friend, singer-songwriter and ex-model Steph Jones. "We don't know whether or not to go further or to just keep the friendship," she said. "It's crazy. We've got the feelings, but we don't know whether or not to say it out loud." Uh, you sort of just did. [People]
• Thandie Newton will be the new face of the Martini campaign. [The Mirror]
• "Every time I am making a movie I feel insecure, and I feel scared, and that's part of the way I work - if one day I would be on the set feeling too secure, that would really scare me." - Penelope Cruz [The Mirror]
• The Kardashian sisters still held a grand opening party for their store Dash in Miami Beach, even though it had been vandalized on Tuesday. The window was scratched and the letter GUK were painted in black on the window frame. Police say they don't know what the letters mean, but Kourtney Kardashian said nothing was stolen from the store and the grafitti wasn't targeting her or her sisters. [AP]
• Russell Brand has been talking about an "experience" he had with The Veronicas, but they say he just passed them his number. "We both like people who can make us laugh but with him being a womaniser we'll leave others to go there," said Jess Origliasso. [News.com.au]
• In an interview about her new album Abnormally Attracted to Sin, Tori Amos said of growing up the daughter of a minister, "What's really tricky is when you're brought up in a family that has a very clear faith system and they are really doing what they think is the best thing they can do, which is to bring you up with those beliefs. And I question a lot of what I've been taught and brought up in and I see it differently than my family. But the key has been, can you respect each other enough to say, 'I don't need to tell you what to believe in?'" [Yahoo]
• Mandy Moore says of her hips, "I still have a love-hate relationship with them. I'm not a swizzle stick – I'm not 14 anymore." But, she says she's not hung up on dieting either. "I appreciate when there are other women out there who are beautiful and aren't, you know, a pound," she says. "I feel lucky that I don't feel pressure ... to have my whole life be controlled by whether I fit into a certain size." [People]

[Madrid, April 28. Image via Getty]

French President Nicolas Sarkozy meets his wife Carla Bruni-Sarkozy at the Moncloa Palace in Madrid on April 28, 2009. French President Nicolas Sarkozy began his first state visit to Spain on Monday promising backing in the fight against terrorism and saying relations have 'never been so strong,' but it was his pop star wife Carla who grabbed the spotlight. AFP PHOTO / ERIC FEFERBERG (Photo credit should read ERIC FEFERBERG/AFP/Getty Images)

• The Obamas arrived in France and President Nicolas Sarkozy rolled out the red carpet and then demonstrated how best to remind your wife she's married when she meets the hottest head of state. [Huffington Post]

• After the British press went not-Lady gaga over Michelle Obama hugging the Queen, Buckingham Palace issued a statement that the Queen liked it. I mean, who wouldn't? [CNN]
• The British now think Michelle is totally awesome, including the Queen, who reportedly asked her to stay in touch. [Washington Post]
• John Oliver wants us to know, though, that girl is poison. [Huffington Post]

• If you wanted some real G-20 news, apparently Sarkozy and Chinese President Hu Jintao got into a fight about tax havens and Obama broke it up. [ABC]
• A low-level Clinton aide mistyped the number for reporters to dial into a conference call with Hillary Clinton yesterday, so they all ended up calling a phone sex line. Only 4 stayed on the line with the phone sex operator, though. [CNN]
• To add insult to injury, House Minority Leader John "Helmet Head" Boehner then critiqued the hair or every reporter that showed up for his presser. He figures if no one shows up anymore, no one can ask him any hard questions. [CNN]
• Now that Attorney General Eric Holder dismissed the charges against former Ted Stevens pursued by the Bush Administration, Alaska Republicans really, really want a do-over election so he can get re-elected instead of the guy Alaskans actually elected. Sarah Palin wants it, too. [NY Times, ThinkProgress]
• Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill wants all the single ladies unemployed journalists to go to work for the Recovery Accountability and Transparency Board. [Politico]
• Patrick Fitzgerald issued a 19-count, 75-page indictment against former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich. It includes an allegation that he attempted to extort Rahm Emanuel, so Blago's lucky he just got indicted and isn't fish bait in Lake Michigan. [NY Times, Huffington Post]
• Newt Gingrich wants his own Republican Party away from all those Republicans that think he's a huge dick and don't want him to be their Presidential candidate in 2012. [Politico]
• The Senate passed Obama's budget yesterday so now we can all live happily ever after. [The HillExcept that unemployment is now at 8.5% and employers eliminated 663,000 in March. [Huffington Post]
• So Republicans are going to keep talking about the fake world currency. [Washington Independent]

[London, April 1. Image via AP.]

US Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, right, and French President Nicolas Sarkozy, left, talk during a reception at London's Buckingham Palace for world leaders attending the G20 summit. (AP Photo/John Stillwell/pool)

• Video: Samantha Ronson peels out of a Vegas club parking lot. A minute later, Lindsay Lohan emerges, saying, "Did she leave? She fucking left? Where's my car? I want my fucking keys now." [TMZ]

• More on this in Midweek Madness, but: Brad Pitt! And the nanny?!?! "Angelina flew into a jealous rage when she walked past the open bedroom door of 8-month-old twins, Knox and Vivienne - and didn't like what she saw! And it's not surprising, for Brad was on the bed, rubbing the back of a pretty young nanny! Angie got so mad she slapped Brad and fired the girl on the spot!" [Star]
• Speaking of Brad and Angie, E! donated $250,000 to the Jolie-Pitt Foundation last year. They probably thought it would get them not-snubbed on the red carpet; the money went to Brad's Make It Right Foundation in New Orleans and three different UN organizations working in Darfur. [Fox 411]
• George Clooney got drunk and was seen stumbling back to his hotel in St. Louis. [Gatecrasher]
• Hmm, Sean "Diddy" Combs says he did Chris Brown and Rihanna a "favor" by letting them stay at his house. "It's my house, and I'm allowed to give my house to whoever I want to give my house to," Diddy told Ellen. "I don't cast a stone – cast judgment on anybody. So, if friends ask me for a favor, then I'm going to be there for a favor as long as I know the energy of the favor is positive." He also said: "I don't think it's right for anybody to hit anybody." [People]
• The father of Chris Brown's manager, Tina Davis, says of the speculation that Chris and Tina were having a romantic relationship is just" old rumors." [E!]
• Hey, guess who's not going to the Kids' Choice Awards? Chris Brown. [People]
• Miley Cyrus says she's not ready to move in with her 20-year-old boyfriend: "I love him to death…but no…[Justin] is so smart, but just like, everything has to, like, go where it's supposed to go and if it doesn't, I get like really frustrated." Uh, what? [Page Six]
• So on Dancing With Stars, Lil Kim gave her former fellow inmates a shoutout. The Scoop asks, "Is it possible for inmates to vote for Dancing With the Stars, but not for the president?" A spokesperson from prison says: "The inmates cannot dial toll-free numbers." And there's no internet. So. [MSNBC Scoop]
• This piece, titled "Octomom Spurs Media Madness" is about how Oprah and Dr. Phil saw ratings jump with Nadya Suleman-themed shows. [Variety]
• Oh, of course TMZ's Harvey Levin has seen the tape of Nadya Suleman giving birth. Jeez. He says the "friend" filming was "annoying the doctors and nurses by getting in the way." [TMZ]
• Holy crap: PETA vice president Dan Mathews shook hands with Anna Wintour. [Page Six]
• The French are mad at Carla Bruni for showing up at a Mexican state dinner wearing "a dazzling array" of diamonds — her husband, President Nicolas Sarkozy, was in Mexico to discuss the world recession. Anyway, they're calling her Marie Antoinette. [Gatecrasher]
• There's an interesting interview with Katy Perry on Esquire's site, and at the top of the web browser frame are the words "Katy Perry Naked - Hot Pics Of Katy Parry[sic] Topless." She is neither naked nor topless. [esquire]
• Someone somewhere claims that Mischa Barton didn't want to audition for the new Melrose Place but to just be given a role. In the end she had to go through the casting process like anyone else, sigh. Tough times! [Perez]
• Meanwhile, word is that Ashlee Simpson is doing Melrose because she wants something stable so she can be close to her baby. [People]
• The American Idol "dialing disaster" was averted, hopefully. You know Anoop's original phone number was a sex line, right? [People]
• Geri Halliwell has said ciao to her Italian fiancé. [The Sun]
• Does Amy Winehouse want to work on a TV quiz show? And more important: Wouldn't you watch? [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse has been updating her Facebook page to say things like "Nothing is worth as much as Blake," and "Where's my oblivious Blakey Boy?" For some reason, this is "news." [The Sun]
• "Hundreds of women in skimpy two-pieces will gather Saturday on the shore in Miami Beach and spell out the word C-O-S-M-O for an aerial photograph to be featured in the August issue." For Cosmopolitan, that classy publication. [Page Six]
• Hulk Hogan needs cash. His lawyers are trying to get some assets unfrozen; the Hulkster had back surgery and won't be able to work for awhile. [AP]
• Q: Are you busy? A: I'm trying to be busy. It's not so easy. Everyone thinks I'm dead. — From an interview with Lauren Bacall. [Houston Chronicle]
• Oy: Matt Lucas, co-creator of Little Britain, is working on a Jewish sitcom. [Telegraph]
• Jade Goody, the Brit celeb diagnosed with cervical cancer and given weeks to live, has left the hospital to be home with her husband and kids. [BBC News]
• Sir Paul McCartney's show in Las Vegas is already sold out, sorry. Tickets were gone seven seconds after going on sale. [Mirror]
• Blind item: "Which Celebrity Apprentice was such a boozebag behind the scenes that all alcohol had to be removed from the set?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I wasn't, quote, 'dropped' from the movie. I resigned from the movie because I didn't think I had enough time to achieve the look of the wrestler who was on steroids, which I would never do." — Nicolas Cage, on The Wrestler. Then he said: "The movie was written for Mickey. And, for whatever reason, they couldn't get the financing for the movie back then."
• "Fortunately I haven't had any break-ups. This is my first relationship. I'm very, very happy, that's all I'll say. We were together for a really long time before we got married, we were in no rush." — Beyoncé. [The Star]
• "I always wanted to suspend from the ceiling in a twirling banana. I'm going to be inside the banana. So the banana drops into a fruit bowl with the other sparkling, glorious fruit, and their tops pop off and dancers come out and help peel me out of the banana. I have a fascination with fruit… It's Lucille Ball meets Bob Mackie. It's about innuendo. I want everybody to get the joke, but I want them to think about it for a minute." — Katy Perry, on her persona. [Esquire]
• "If things happen in the press that are hard to deal with or you give in to that awful temptation to occasionally Google yourself and be mortified at what people can write about you. It's hard to ignore it. Keira will phone me up. She's like, 'I'm thinking about doing it.' I'm like, 'I am, too, but don't do it.' And we'll kind of talk each other out of it." — Sienna Miller, on her friendship with Keira Knightley. [Mirror]
• "My mom thought it was cool that if you got a business card that said 'Taylor' you wouldn't know if it was a guy or a girl. She wanted me to be a business person in a business world." — Taylor Swift. [Rolling Stone]
• "That one kinda hurts, because I don't have any rights to participate in it at all. It was done at a time when I was dirt poor so I had to sell everything when I sold the script, so that one hurts a bit." — Wes Craven on the remake of Nightmare On Elm Street. [The Star]
• "The past year has obviously been very difficult for me. Yoga has really helped me turn it into a huge learning experience. I'm working hard to take what I went through and turn it into something positive. Yoga helps me focus." — Ashley Dupre, former call girl of former Governor Eliot Spitzer. [Page Six]
• "My feeling about the movies is that most of them are terrible. If you don't have a decent script and a decent director, forget it. That's why I thought the Benjamin Button movie was so encouraging. I'll forgive anybody anything if they have talent. What I find most disconcerting is that people in the profession are not creative but only interested in money, which is what this country is most about. It doesn't appreciate talent. … For eight years we had a moron in the White House who didn't even know what art meant." — Lauren Bacall. There are more quips in the interview! [Houston Chronicle]

• OMG! Project Runway's Tim Gunn will host the red-carpet arrivals at the official Academy Awards pre-show? Genius. Good Morning America's Robin Roberts and Entertainment Weekly's Jess Cagle will join him. Excellent. Carry on! [Variety]

• Prince is having an late-night Oscar bash, and Prince has decided that Prince will perform. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Oh dear: An L.A. woman has filed a $4 billion class action lawsuit against Miley Cyrus, claiming the Disney teen knowingly mocked Asians in a recent photo. Shit, meet fan. [TMZ]
• Margaret Cho thinks Miley Cyrus is "a disgrace." [Perez]
• Did you see Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman last night? You'll find what happened in the dictionary under "trainwreck." (Or at the link here.) [Nikki Finke's Deadline Hollywood]
• Post-steroid-scandal, Alex Rodriguez "ran right home to [wife] Cynthia," which has pissed off Madonna. She's telling A-Rod that her dalliance with Jesus Luz is just a publicity stunt; Rodriguez says he needs to salvage his career. According to this piece, "Now that he's unable to focus all his attention on Madonna, she only wants him more." [Gatecrasher]
• Holy crap: Michael Jackson has some kind of MRSA-type skin infection, like a flesh-eating virus or a staph infection, and it is sad and horrifying. Plus, from the looks of this picture, it hurts. [The Sun]
• Prince Harry has been formally disciplined after being caught on video calling a fellow soldier a racial slur. He will attend an equality and diversity course, and the incident will go on his permanent record. [Mirror, Guardian]
• What is the deal with George Clooney and Benazir Bhutto's 26-year-old niece, Fatima? Pakistan is "besotted" by their "affair." [Independent]
• Clooney's rep says the rumor that Clooney is dating Fatima is false. [WowOwow]
• Lily Allen had a "secret show" last night in New York, and in addition to material from her new album — the bouncy "Fuck You" and stuff from her old CD ("Smile") she covered Britney's "Womanizer." While singing about blow jobs, she "gulped wine" on stage. [Rolling Stone]
• Nicolette Sheridan is packing up her stuff and leaving Wisteria Lane; she will no longer be on Desperate Housewives. [Extra]
• Mary-Kate Olsen looks high fashion freaky in her pictures for the March issue of Interview; she tells the mag about differentiating herself from her sister: "We've always been very different. And we've always had the same goals… At a certain point, we probably just started to vocalize it. When we decided to go to college, we figured we'd be able to take a break and just figure out what we wanted to do and what we loved… just by being able to step away from the work world." [ONTD]
• Queen Latifah was on a bus tour of Newark, N.J. yesterday to promote options that will help homeowners avoid foreclosures. [UPI]
• Had Rihanna been working on a song about murdering a cheating partner before she was attacked by Chris Brown? [The Sun]
• Chris Brown is currently holed up at the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Except that this report says Chris Brown and Rhianna are both in L.A. Oh, and don't click this link unless you want to read a whole lot of bullshit speculation about how Rihanna maybe hit Chris first and "Lamborghini's [sic] have small cabins that are hard to maneuver in. Brown, who would have been driving, could have used his teeth as a weapon to defend himself against Rihanna's flailing." [Fox 411]
• Sigh, there is a delay in the Chris Brown case. The D.A spokesperson says: "It's our understanding the LAPD won't return the case to us this week. Once we get it, we will review it again to determine if there's a case." Wait, what? [People]
• Here's a better explanation of whether Chris should be charged with criminal threats or the lesser charge of domestic battery. [TMZ]
• Cops will reinterview Chris Brown and Rihanna again soon. [NY Daily News]
• Chris Brown's wardrobe stylist says: "Chris is all right. He's a good kid. He feels very bad that something like this has happened." Ugh! Passive talk. He feels bad "something happened" or he feels bad about what he did? [People]
• Leona Lewis denies involvement in the Chris Brown/Rihanna situation. [Daily Mail]
• When asked by paparazzi about Chris Brown, Terrence Howard said: "Chris is a great guy. He'll be all right." Now he says: "When they asked me about Chris Brown the other day, I was in no way aware of what he had been accused of. Had I known, I would have never had said something so insensitive." Seriously dude? Put down the baby wipes and pick up a newspaper or something. [E!]
• Clive Owen continues to promote his film and charm the underpants off of us. [CBS News]
• Drew Barrymore says Adam Sandler was her favorite on-screen kiss. "It was really innocent and unsalacious." [Mirror]
• Whoa: Nicolas Sarkozy proposed to Carla Bruni within two hours of meeting her. [Daily Mail]
• Groan: Sports Illustrated cover moddle Bar Refaeli ate cheeseburgers and ice cream before her shoot and did not work out. [Gatecrasher]
• Will Sean Penn be in a Three Stooges biopic? [Page Six]
• Balthazar Getty's exit from Brothers & Sisters will be "shocking." Spoilers all there if you click the link. [E!]
• Sam Shepard pled guilty to DUI and speeding from that bust last month in Illinois — he had a .175 blood alcohol level. Drunkety drunk drunk drunk. [TMZ]
• Kate Hudson has a stripper pole in her bathroom and a spy says: "She's so proud of it. She was laughing and giddy like a kid when the thing was installed! She holds on with both her arms and flips her legs into the air. It's kind of amazing and totally sexy." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Joe Francis is no longer on house arrest. He's free to go wild. [TMZ]
• Steven Seagal wants Costa Rica to have a filmmaking industry. "Costa Rica has everything — both rain forest and dry climate. What it lacks is an infrastructure to make movies," he said in a news conference. Send us plane tickets and let us judge for ourselves! [Reuters]
• Akon has a Chevron gas station in his backyard. [The Life Files]
• Blind item! "Which pro athlete's actress-girlfriend is going to be less than pleased when she discovers he's sleeping with college girls on the side?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Any actor who starts taking 'sex symbol' seriously or thinks of themselves as a sex symbol has got some serious problems. When I'm in my normal life I care very little about how I look. Sometimes I have to dress up when I'm making movies, but that's not me when I'm just hanging around. I don't mind looking like I need a good wash and a good meal. There's no vanity about my character and I think that's real. His absolute obsessive passion is trying to bring a bank down. He doesn't care how he looks. So I just stopped shaving and left it to the make-up people to make sure I looked bad in every scene." — Clive Owen. [Mirror]
• "I had to be chained to the ceiling with a hood over my head, in my boxer shorts, being hosed down by a soldier, with cold air fans blowing on me. I wouldn't recommend being tortured by Samuel L Jackson. He seems to enjoy it a little too much." — Michael Sheen, who filmed Unthinkable with Jackson. [Telegraph]
• "She's so different from me. She's so focused on the outside. She just loves clothes and she just loves life, and she wants to make the world more beautiful. How often do you read a comedy script with a woman in the lead, and she's actually a flawed, deluded character? And I was able to do physical comedy. It was a dream role." — Isla Fisher on Rebecca Bloomwood, her Shopaholic character. [USA Today]
• "The people who are the most beautiful are those who do what they love to do – who have love in their lives, and laugh a lot, go to good movies, read good books, and have great sex. A guy who's a chauvinist I'm not interested in. Any good man knows women are much smarter than men." — Carla Gugino, to Women's Health. [People]
• "We very rarely talk but when we do, it sure makes me laugh. She's one of the funniest ladies I know and I hold huge amounts of love and respect for her. She's my big sister. Things were wild during the years I was with her in the band and she's one of the wildest creatures I've ever met, but I have my own personal perception of her. There's nobody else like her. I feel like there should be a review of the great stuff that Hole and Courtney put out there. I would support that because I feel it's important to pass on to women of future generations." — Melissa Auf der Maur on Courtney Love. [ONTD via Spinner]
• "When you look at someone like Jessica [Simpson], I don't know if she gained weight, but it's all I've heard about. I'm looking for someone with a great voice, but if someone is 50 pounds overweight, I have to tell them the reality - that it might hold them back." — American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi. [MSNBC]

• House of Style is coming back on MTV! Israeli model Bar Refaeli or L.A.'s own Chanel Iman are rumored to be in the running to fill Cindy Crawford's old hosting slot. [Page Six]

• Isaac Mizrahi's first collection for Liz Claiborne just went online, in an annoying Flash animation you have to flick through with your mouse. No pricing info is included, but the line will be in stores and online next month. [Liz Claiborne]
• That Brooks Brothers Black Fleece store on Bleecker St. that's been "opening in Fall 08" for freaking ever is finally throwing wide its doors today. [WWD]
• Stella McCartney opened a new boutique in Paris, her first in that city. Old friends like Marianne Faithful and Catherine Deneuve duly turned up. On staying slim with Madonna's trainer, McCartney said, "I've had a few sessions with her, but she's always off on tour with Madonna, so now I just go round to Gwyneth's and we dance about together." Fun. [Style.com]
• If you can't share a personal trainer with Madge, you can see an exhibition of her stage costumes. "Simply Madonna, Materials of the Girl" opens in London on February 21. [Independent]
• Pierre Bergé, Yves Saint Laurent's business and romantic partner of 50 years, is talking to the media for the first time about the designer's struggles with depression. A shy, nervous young man, Saint Laurent was conscripted into France's war with Algeria in 1960, where he was brutalized. Upon his return to France, he was committed and given shock treatments and high doses of drugs. Says Bergé: "Sadly, Yves was not built for joy. He was an unhappy person who didn’t have a taste for life. Occasionally, he was happy, but life was difficult for him. The depression ran deep." On his aesthetic, Bergé notes: "Saint Laurent detested fashion. Style is what he liked...Chanel may have given women liberty but Saint Laurent gave them power." [Telegraph]
• Interesting: Bloomingdale's is holding an open call for new designers. That's gotta be better than Project Runway! [WWD]
• Dazed and Confused shot a black-lit video to celebrate DKNY's 20th anniversary. It maybe looks a little like Liquid Sky. [Fashionista]
• For the DKNY Jeans spring campaign, Sartorialist Scott Schuman shot British model Daisy Lowe. [The Sun]
• Today's bankruptcy: Unthinkable, Inc., owner of the label Claude Brown. Owing between $1 and $100 million, with between $100,000 and $1 million on its books, Unthinkable filed for Chapter 11 protection from 50 creditors. [Crain's]
• Imagine an event that would bring together Ivanka Trump, Philip Lim, Tory Burch, and Barbara Hulanicki (who founded the Biba boutique in London where Anna Wintour got her first fashion job), and you have the Fashion Group International's Rising Star awards. Lim gushes all over Hulanicki, who gushes all over Lim, and meanwhile none of the MCs can pronounce "Burch" or "Ivanka." Must've been a hell of a luncheon. [Observer]
• McQ Alexander McQueen for Target's campaign will be modeled by a creepy blonde doll with eyes that change color. What, they couldn't get a Russian to put in contacts? [Fashionista]
• Karl Lagerfeld, compelling, chilly fashion mastermind, is the subject of an excellent Rodolphe Marconi documentary called Lagerfeld Confidential. We get a peek at the Kaiser's home, Nietzchean morality, and lecherous habits with male models. Also, I'm pretty sure I remember at one point he says, "People who live alone and spend a long time on the telephone are romantic freelancers." It screens February 9 on Sundance and you should watch it. [Fashion Week Daily]
• If you give supermodel Angela Lindvall directions on a shoot like "Crawl around like an animal! Rrowr!", she will raise one eyebrow at your dumb concept and do something better instead. [The Cut]
• Jean Paul Gaultier model Ines de la Fressange: 51, gorgeous, and dubious about black nail polish. "I like the fact that [Gaultier] didn't try to disguise me or make fun of me in some way, by making me wear black nail polish like the other models." How does she stay in shape? "Winston Churchill always said the best exercise is no exercise so let me put it this way; I do as much exercise as Churchill! And I never do Botox or plastic surgery either." She sounds like a riot in this interview. [Time]
• Then, de la Fressange found time to go to the Elysée Palace and congratulate Sonia Rykiel and Jean-Louis Scherrer at the formal ceremony where President Sarkozy made each of them commanders of the Legion of Honor. [WWD]
• Ever wanted to learn how to make shoes? Jimmy Choo wants to teach you. [Telegraph]
• Natascha McElhone, of Californication fame, will be the new face of Neutrogena. [WWD]
• There WILL be Steven Allan for Uniqlo! [WWD]
• Plan for a Gisele-heavy future. The Brazilian beauty has bagged spring campaigns for, at last count: Versace, Dior, True Religion denim, and Rampage. Oh, and she'll totally be the North American face of Max Factor for years to come. Resistance is futile! Clearly being a safe bet as one of the few models the proverbial man on the street could immediately recognize has its ups in an economic climate like this. [WWD]

• Sara Trumble, the nanny who used to take care of wee Beatrice McCartney, is suing Bea's mum, Heather Mills, because "Mills required her to blow-dry Mills' hair, work unreasonable hours, and spray-tan a naked Mills."

• At least the nanny only had to spray-tan one leg! Mills denies the accusations and her flack says, "Heather is devastated that Sara, who Heather considered a part of her family, should choose to level these accusations at her. This claim will be vigorously defended." [MSNBC]
• This Tom Cruise interview in the Sun sounds like it was robot generated. Sample passage: "He says: 'Life is never boring because I’m meeting so many interesting people and I have so many interests.'" Tom also says he wants ten children and that he regrets speaking out about Scientology because it made him sound like a loon, and he's not talking about it these days. "‘That’s it, no more — go to the Scientology website." [The Sun]
• Is J.Lo's marriage really dunzo? Though she and Marc Anthony renewed their vows mere months ago, sources tell the Daily News they're going to file for divorce after Marc's Valentine's Day show at Madison Square Garden. “Jennifer is planning on joining Marc onstage for a surprise duet. Things haven’t been right for a while now, and they thought it would be a bittersweet farewell.” Both J.Lo and Marc have been galivanting around without their wedding rings lately. [NYDN]
• Paris Hilton went to Melbourne, Australia, to try to get a deal endorsing…something, but was unable to secure any cash. But don't cry for Paris, Australia: rumor is she will be getting a cool $100,000 to host a New Years' party in Sydney with her sister, Nicky. [Herald Sun]
• Mariah Carey: still not pregnant. Your Mariah womb watch will continue in 2009. [Fox News]
• Also not pregnant: Eva Longoria. But she sure does want to be! [Daily Express]
• Joel Madden wants to be an actor. The Good Charlotte singer and boyf to Nicole Richie has been taking acting lessons and secured a part in the upcoming tour de force from MTV based on the video game Rock Band. [MSNBC]
• Hugh Jackman says that his guilty pleasure is Cream Caramel and that he believes in love at first sight, because that's what happened with his wife. "I was 27, single and not expecting to get married. Then I met Deb and it was a no-brainer that we should be together as it was ten times better than being single." Aw. [Daily Mail]
• Are the Kardashian-Jenners feeling the credit crunch? They're putting their Hidden Hills, CA home on the market for $3.395 million. [TMZ]
• Apparently Kanye West has taken up chanting to "ward off evil spirits." Yeah, I don't know. [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse's former lover/assistant Alex Haines sold his story to The News of the World. Haines tells them that Amy had toast and crack for breakfast every day, was bulimic and an avid cutter. Oy. [Dlisted]
• Anjelica Huston's husband, the sculptor Robert Graham, has died. He's best known for his bronze work, notes the New York Times, particularly the sculpture that marks "the Roosevelt memorial, where bronze panels symbolize the 54 social programs that were initiated under the president's New Deal. Graham also created the life-size, bronze figure of President Roosevelt in his wheelchair at the entrance of the memorial." [NYT]
• Emma Watson finds the amount of money she made playing Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter series (an estimated £10 million) fairly absurd. "Why would someone my age need this much money?" Watson says. "Let's face it, I don't really have any use for it." [Telegraph]
• Oh lord, Michael Lohan insists that he has Lindsay's best interests in mind. He writes to blogger Oh No They Didn't, "Is a villain someone who wants to keep people of a negative influence out of his daugther's life. A perosn who wants to protect her from and obviously unhealthy relationship which has brought her life and career to an all time low! 'inday is a good hearted gifted and blessed human being..The saying ':ow me who you walk with and I will tell you who you are." Michael Lohan's misspellings and bad grammar have been left unedited. [ONTD]
• Brace yourselves for this deeply upsetting surprise: Whitney Port's "job" at Diane Von Furstenberg as portrayed in the MTV reality show The City is not actually a real job. We know, you're ever so shocked. Says a source, "She doesn't really work. She is hardly ever in the office…[Real Furstenberg employees] can't get their work done because MTV tells them they can't move any thing at their work stations. They do so many reshoots that everything has to look exactly the same every day." Imagine that! [Page Six]
• Diddy offered the City of New York $1 million if they made Ciroc vodka the official vodka of New Year's Eve and painted the ball in Times Square purple, as purple is the color of grapes that are used to make his Ciroc. The City of New York has politely declined. [Page Six]
• A British director has made a documentary about Carla Bruni. In it she talks about her music and her marriage to French President Nicolas Sarkozy. She says her attraction to Sarkozy was "instantaneous" and "immediate." She adds, "I don't know what he has but he has something very protective that I have never found before, maybe because I was much more attracted to artists." [Telegraph]
• Here's a marginally funny video with Jerry O'Connell and a very pregnant Rebecca Romijn in which she pretends that she is her shape-shifting X-Men character Mystique and gets testy because her babies are too human to shape-shift. Mreh. [Funny Or Die]
• Madonna's alleged boyfriend, 20-year-old Brazilian model Jesus Luz, has recently appeared in an "erotic" TV show, says the Telegraph. Luz "guest starred as Diogo, a jilted boyfriend, in the programme, titled Hostel. He was seen being led by his girlfriend to a party, where he drank too much and got drunk, passing out on a chair. While Diogo was unconscious, his girlfriend was seen making love to another man." [ Telegraph]
• "There's nothing worse than being a woman in show business . . . you'll be asked to do only two things in every [bleep]ing role you ever play: take your shirt off and cry." — David Mamet. [Page Six]

[New York, November 17. Image via Splash.]

[Paris, November 10. Image via Splash.]

MEGAN: Holy hell, is it morning again?

LATOYA: That it is. The theme for today is "King of Rock" by Run-DMC. Sucka emcees should call me sire! You can't see me, but I'm doing the wop at my desk

MEGAN: I am sitting on the couch I woke up passed out on. Still.

LATOYA: Ooooh — how was Happy Hour?

MEGAN: It was the hours after the happy part that did me in.

LATOYA: Ha — girl, know your limits. I'll join you next time, but I subscribe to the "drunk or sexy" school of thought. The goal is normally to either get fucked up, or sip and be pretty all night and I dress accordingly. I'm generally a sipper though, warning you now. Anyway, on to the news. The news has apparently caught on to the fact that we young'uns are bored with the election and just want it to end.

"By historical standards, the level of interest is extremely high across all ages. But those under 35 are much less likely to be tracking the election closely," Hawkeye Poll Director David Redlawsk said in a statement. "This suggests they're less engaged — and perhaps less likely to turn out, because those who pay attention are more likely to vote."

MEGAN: That's the ADD generation for you. They are not going to be happy if no one is declared the winner before Jon Stewart comes on. Also, I don't know that "not paying attention to the minutiae of the campaign" translates to "not going to vote." Maybe they're already decided and don't give a shit whether Sarah Palin spent $150 or $150,000 on her suits. Or, for that matter, how Obama is spending $150 million.

LATOYA: What Hawkeye is missing though is that us young'uns are also early adopters — and most of us have been riding this election since '07. We're just tired. And last time I checked we were 2 to 1 Obama. We just want to vote and get it over with. Oh, and I second that — if there is no winner for Jon Stewart and Stephen Corbert to mock, I'm going to bed early.

MEGAN: No one is more tired than me this morning. I need a vacation that lasts longer than intoxication, which is just a mini-vacation from Reality.

LATOYA: Yeah, we don't care. (And you do need a vacation.) We have other things to worry about, like losing our jobs because the economy is in the toilet. Fuck Joe the Plumber, can I hear from Lucy the HR Coordinator?

MEGAN: Lucy the HR Coordinator says update your resume and for God's sake spell-check the motherfucker.

LATOYA: Word.

MEGAN: Also, was there anything stupider to come out of anyone's mouth this week than to hear Sarah Palin say "Tito the Builder"? I don't know why I laughed so hard, but I did.

LATOYA: I must have missed that one, but now I'm perplexed. What did she says about this alleged "Tito?"

MEGAN: Tito got into a fight with a journalist at a campaign rally, but he might or might not still vote for Obama. Or McCain. He won't say, but he's mad as hell about Joe the Plumber. He might be a little crazy.

LATOYA: Can we please put some sane people on TV? And when I say sane, I mean "people who act like they got some sense."

MEGAN: Sane people don't make for good TV! Also, by the way, Tito's friend at the end thinks that an Obama win means Armageddon is coming.

LATOYA: Yeah, what else is new? The Armageddon has been on the way since 999. You know what should be on the news?

MEGAN: More Obama dancing?

LATOYA: This discussion Michelle Singletary is hosting:

Personal finance columnist Michelle Singletary hosts an online discussion with Gary Weiss, author of "Wall Street Versus America: A Muckraking Look at the Thieves, Fakers, and Charlatans Who Are Ripping You Off," on Thursday, Oct. 23 at Noon ET.

MEGAN: Michelle's good, but she's so anti-debt she's against student loans and many mortgages, which is easy to say and FAR less easy to do.

LATOYA: Well, she's justifiably anti-debt. Depression era Big Momma's probably aren't playing on that front. Either way, she still has sense.

MEGAN: No, totally, I think her work is a good place to start, and I think the media on the financial crisis hasn't done a good job of communicating how it affects average Americans and what you can do to avoid ending up in a bad place.

LATOYA: Nope, they haven't. I need to keep tabs on Dubya though. No one is paying attention but this bama is still technically in charge for a few more months.

MEGAN: "Technically" is right.

LATOYA: I found out through a BBC Feed Bush is inviting the world's leaders to come and chat about the crisis. Since life imitates high school, this one is VIP Only:

The summit would be the first of a series announced after talks between Mr Bush, French President Nicolas Sarkozy and EU Commission chief Manuel Barroso.

But the agenda is unclear and differences are already emerging.

Mr Bush said any plan must not undermine free markets. Mr Sarkozy said "hateful practices" must be abandoned.

Looks like Sarkozy is going to be banned from the cool kids table. And can we drop the free market bullshit? We don't have a free market if you can rig the game!

MEGAN: Well, he did say last week that we should reconsider the Bretton Woods agreement, which is the underpinnings of the sort-of-free movement of capital and the intellectual start of the WTO which lowered tariffs. But, Bush is the guy who just nationalized our financial services industry. I think they'll still manage to find something to talk about.

LATOYA: It's not nationalization when we do it. It's smart practices. When other nations do it, it's hindering the free market. sigh We need to switch topics, because I'll be on this for days. I'll start breaking out summary papers and abstracts.

MEGAN: I'm there with you! But, we could talk about Obama's trip to see his grandma. He seems like he comes from a really nice family and I kind of completely want to hang with his sister.

LATOYA: We could. His life just seems so damn normal. I don't understand how people keep saying "they can't relate" to the Obamas. I know that nonwhites have been completely otherized in this country, but I just can't see how after eighteen months of campaigning, pictures, photo ops, investigative articles, and the like, people keep saying crap like "I don't know him." It's not that you don't know him - you just don't want to see who he really is.

MEGAN: I think it is about him being so "other." Like, I think it's sort of hilarious and fucked up that white people think that there is some kind of "being black" that is so intrinsic to the fundamental identity of African-Americans in this country in a way that "being white" is not that it trumps every other identity (husband, father, brother, grandson, Senator, candidate) that a given African-American person has — because, really, as an Official White Person, I really, really, really rarely think about "white" when thinking about my identity. And I think the white people who do believe it probably do add "white" into their identity and think about it more and think about how it separates them from The Others and not in a good, introspective way.

LATOYA: I don't thinks whites think "white" — many of them think "normal" and that's what contributes to the othering.

MEGAN: For the record, I don't think "normal" because most people I know are nearly as fucked up as I am.

LATOYA: That's why you hear people say things like "I don't have race" or "I don't have a culture" — they do, it's just been normalized into the default, and everyone else has been pushed outside of this boundary.

MEGAN: Normal people are "other" to me. But I also think that you're right about the idea that "white" is conflated with "normal."

LATOYA: It is. And it's sad because now the Obama's have to go above and beyond to prove they are an All-American wholesome family when really, that's just what they are.

MEGAN: Because, really, on some level, Obama is super-normal, and yet some people continue to see him and his intact nuclear family and 2-income household as somehow different from their experiences. The thing is that there is no All-American wholesome family, we're a society riddled with divorces, broken homes, step-parents and general dysfunctionality. Maybe that's why the Obamas seem so abnormal: they're the normal we're told is normal and everyone else is just fucked up.

• McCain and his staff have smartly given up trying to win an electoral mandate and are pursuing a "narrow-victory strategy." What that means is that they have no intention of doing anything other than personally attacking Obama for the next 18 days in order to freak people out that they can squeak out an Electoral College victory rather than a popular one. You know, like in 2000. [NY Times]
• Which is probably why Sarah Palin is flouncing around telling people that they prefer the "real America" which everyone who isn't voting for John McCain isn't a part of. [Huffington Post]
• If that wasn't clear enough for you, Republican Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann called for an investigation into the un-American activities of all self-professed liberals. [Think Progress]

• And a Palin supporter beat up a reporter at a rally for having the audacity to report that there were protesters around outside. "Real" America FTW. [News & Record]
• The United State Supreme Court effectively stopped the Ohio GOP's efforts to throw 200,000 voters off the rolls before election day. [Huffington Post]
• Conservative talk show host Lee Rodgers thinks that "many of the women who are professed leaders of the feminist movement in this country, and they're a bunch of hags. They couldn't get laid in a men's prison, let's be honest about it." How long do we think it's been since Lee Rodgers got laid? I mean, without paying for it, obviously, that doesn't count. [Media Matters]
• Oh, and French President Nicky Sarkozy is suggesting that it may be time to renegotiate Bretton Woods. Sarah Palin said, "Ooh, I'd bet Todd would be a good logger" and all of France simultaneously smacked their foreheads and went to church to pray for an Obama win. [Washington Post]