• Alexsandra Wright, who is 6-months pregnant, has filed a paternity case alleging that Beyonce's dad, Mathew Knowles, is the father of her child. He has been married to Tina Knowles since 1980. [TMZ]

• Madonna told Ryan Seacrest on his radio show that she didn't notice him in the front row at one of her concerts because, "I was getting super-sharp looks from J.Lo. Her ponytail distracted me... Whenever artists come to see my show, they're studying me." [Us]
• California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger rejected the suggestion that he could pardon Roman Polanski if he's returned to the United States, saying, "It doesn't matter if you are a big-time movie actor or a big-time movie director or producer... I think that he is a very respected person, and I am a big admirer of his work. But nevertheless, I think he should be treated like everyone else." [People]
• Christoph Blocher, a former Swiss justice minister, says it would have been more fair and legal if authorities had warned Roman Polanski that he would be arrested if he entered the country. "You don't invite someone when you know he's going to be arrested," he said. "You simply don't do that." [AP]
• Last night Larry King asked Jon Gosselin how much money he was paid by TLC last year and he said "no" before explaining that the "Gosselin family" made about $1 million, half went to taxes, and the rest was divided 10 ways. Video here: [TMZ]
• A judge has increased the powers of the two men administering Michael Jackson's estate, attorney John Branca and music executive John McClain, so they can deal with the numerous creditors claims against the estate. [AP]
• Angelina Jolie met with Iraqi refugees in Syria today as part of her duties as a U.N. goodwill ambassador. "Most Iraqi refugees cannot return to Iraq in view of the severe trauma they experienced there, the uncertainty linked to the coming Iraqi elections, the security issues and the lack of basic services," said Jolie. "They will, therefore, be in need of continued support from the international community." [AP]
• Lady Gaga's choreographer Laurieann Gibson Tweeted that GaGa's tour with Kanye West was called off due to "creative differences." She didn't elaborate, but confirmed that Lady GaGa will go on her own tour. [Perez Hilton]
• Disappointing women everywhere, Russell Brand and Katy Perry hit it off at the VMAs and they spent the past week on vacation together in Thailand. [Perez Hilton]
• News sources say the package Robert Halderman gave David Letterman reportedly contained copies of parts of Letterman's former assistant's diary and personal correspondence. [People]
• Halderman has two ex wives and pays one of them about $6,000 a month in child and spousal support and $13,500 of their credit card debt. He also pays his children's medical bills and could be ordered to pay for their college education. The kids are 11 and 18. [TMZ]
• At his arraignment today Halderman pled not guilty to the felony charge of attempted grand larceny in the first degree. The D.A. said his bail should be set at $500,000 because his actions were ones of "desperation" and are "alarming and dangerous" but the judge set his bail at $200,000. [TMZ]
• Halderman's friends and co-workers at CBS were shocked by the news that he was behind the extortion plot. "Joe's a friendly, boisterous, slap-you-on-the-back kind of guy," said a former colleague. "Sort of a Vince Vaughn type, but more serious and not goofy. A guy's guy. Someone you want to have a beer with." [N.Y. Observer]
• People are angry that the audience kept laughing as David Letterman discussed the sex/extortion scandal last night, but they may have just thought it was a comedy routine. Sources on the show say no one but the producers knew what Dave was going to do so the audience got the same warm up as usual, which emphasizes laughing and applauding often and loudly. [Yahoo]
• Kim Kardashian, who was on the show after David Letterman's revelation, said, "Letterman was great. I always love doing his show – and I always have a good time with him, it was great!" [People]
• Apple and Eminem's music publisher have settled a lawsuit over the digital download rights to his songs. The terms of the deal weren't made public. [AP]
• Clark Gable's granddaughter, Kayley Gable, was taken to the hospital on Wednesday night after she was found unconscious in her home. She left after a few hours and said she just had a panic attack. [TMZ]
• Comedian Paul Rodriguez is in ICU right now with severe abdominal pains but doctors don't know what's wrong with him. [TMZ]
• Consumer Product Safety Commission is recalling Paula Deen's cast iron cookware due to burn and laceration hazards. The pans were imported from China and sold on QVC. There have been 79 reports of the cookware cracking and shattering when heated. [UPI]
• Snoop Dogg had a necklace with a bullet-shaped pendant confiscated while going through airport security in Beirut. The bullet actually had an anti-war message: the diamond-studded bullet is from the charity Bullets 4 Peace, which turns bullet casings into jewelry. Snoop has already ordered a replacement. [Ok]
• Warner Bros. is developing a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory musical. Sam Mendes may direct. [Entertainment Weekly]
• "Paris Ditches Doug for the Night" ... or just managed to attend a party hosted by her sister Nicky Hilton to benefit the Step Up Women's network without her boyfriend glued to her side. [E!]
• In the new issue of Cosmopolitan Kim Kardashian says that some people think she's "famous for all the wrong reasons" but "I'm an entrepreneur...'ambitious' is my middle name." [People]

• Two weeks after adding Nicolas Cage's home to his sheaf of L.A. properties, Ed Hardy designer Christian Audigier has announced he's moving into Michael Jackson's last residence. Audigier will rent the $38 million home from his C.E.O., Hubert Guez. [E!]

• The glove the late King of Pop wore to marry Debbie Rowe has sold at auction for $49,000. [TMZ]
• "I love Japan. I love the people, the shopping, the fashion. I think they have so much fun with fashion...they don't take it too seriously," says Nicky Hilton. Don't take fashion seriously? Because insanely awesome and carefully cultivated street fashion just happens. [WWD]
  
• Mad Men's Christina Hendricks tells InStyle Weddings about her planned wedding to actor Geoffrey Arend, and specifies the designer (Carolina Herrera) and the look (Sophia Loren) of her wedding dress, but doesn't let it be photographed. [People]
• Lily Cole is a model, who is also (very) smart. The Daily Mail took a break from publishing finger-wagging paparazzi photos of her and scurrilous scuttlebutt about her to notice these facts. [Daily Mail]
• Nanette Lepore would like you to remember Labor Day by saving New York's Garment District from rapacious commercial exploitation. [NYTimes]
• Juicy Couture co-founder Gela Nash-Taylor doesn't drink out of common Starbucks cups. She has her own paper cups, because "I'm so into monogramming. I'm doing it on everything right now." [ToL]
• More than 800 stores across all five boroughs are involved in Thursday's shopping-with-fun event, Fashion's Night Out in New York City. Other regional and international events are also planned. [BrandWeek]
• Karl Lagerfeld will be tending the Chanel store with Carine Roitfeld in Paris, for example. [WWD]
• R.J. Cutler's documentary, The September Issue took in more than a quarter of a million dollars over Labor Day weekend. The $40,000 per-screen average makes it the fifth-highest-grossing documentary ever made. [AdAge]
• Meanwhile, Studio 360's Kurt Anderson says that based on the film, the fashion world is "amazingly old-fashioned, like some royal artifact from the 18th Century." [Studio360]
• The Los Angeles Times says the film "charts the intersection of art and commerce with a perhaps inadvertent eye for an excess that wasn't to last." (I am quoted in this article, proving that if you write long enough and, well, long enough on the Internet, someday someone will mistake you for an expert in something.) [LATimes]
• Anna Wintour, for her part, says that complaining about the sea change in the fashion industry that has taken place since the filming of that documentary is "like talking about that house you could've bought for nothing on the beach in Southhampton. Forget it. It's gone. The amazing golden years that everyone in the industry was enjoying were fantastic from a business point of view but also maybe a little unseemly. Every celebrity thought she could be a designer, and how many handbags? How many shoes? How much of a thing does everyone really need?" Then Wintour goes to the Macy's in Queens where she will be — on Mayor Bloomberg's orders that the event not smack of elitism — kicking off Fashion's Night Out, and upon surveying the scene, asks in a horrified voice, "Can we...enhance?" [NYMag]
• Sixteen months of declining same-store sales at the department store chain might make the budget for those "enhancements" leaner, however. [BW]
• And retailers in general, after an apocalyptic fall and winter, and a barely-improved spring and summer, are hungry for the fall sales boost that events like Fashion's Night Out are aiming to provide. [WWD]
• WWD has a beautiful, subscription-only, series of photographs of various New York designers as they prepare for fashion week. Alex Wang looks radiant and un-stressed, but the same can't be said of the male models snapped lining up for a casting at Yigal Azrouël. [WWD]
• Naomi Campbell would like to point out, for all those who called her hypocritical for modeling fur in Dennis Basso's fall campaign, that she actually quit PETA years ago. So her hypocrisy has weathered a few seasons now — like a vintage mink. [SB]
• More bad news for Annie Leibovitz: the practically-bankrupt photographer is being sued by an Italian photographer, Paolo Pizzetti, who claims that Leibovitz used his pictures without consent — or payment — for a Lavazza coffee campaign. Since Leibovitz could not travel to Italy to complete the shoot, which features images of models in romantic poses in front of Italian landmarks like the Trevi fountain and the Piazza San Marco, she had Pizzetti scout locations and take snapshots for her. Then Leibovitz shot the models in a New York studio, and digitally stitched the fore- and backgrounds together. Pizzetti says he was never paid for the rights to his contributions. [AW]
• Lady Gaga is reportedly set to perform during New York Fashion Week at an after-party for Givenchy hosted by Out magazine and to be held at The Box. [WWD]
• On the night of the 13th in New York, a short teaser film for Spring '10 by Gareth Pugh will be screened at Milk studios' M.A.C.-sponsored fashion shows in Chelsea. Although the first screening will be invitation-only, the second is open to members of the public who register on M.A.C.'s Facebook page. [Style.com]
• And newly-minted director Christian Louboutin just wrapped filming on an advertisement for Piper-Heidseick champagne starring model Elisa Sednaoui. [WWD]
• Manolo Blahnik says he never wanted to be a celebrity designer, and blames Sex And The City for his unwilling transformation. "If people talk to me about Sex And The City, I get sick," he told the Telegraph. "The taxi drivers recognize me now. It becomes too much and I don't feel comfortable." [PC]
• Sojin Lee's new online fashion venture, Fashionair, has launched. Lee last worked for Net-A-Porter, and her backer is Simon Fuller's company. [Forbes]
• Giorgio Armani designed a custom costume for a Spanish matador. It's grey and spangled. [Telegraph]
• Despite growing sales, profits for 2008 at Armani shrank by 41.4%, to $188.3 million. [WWD]
• Harold Tillman, a British fashion businessman who already owns Jaeger, has apparently acquired the bankrupt house Acquascutum. [ElleUK]
• Tom Binns for Disney might seem like a weird combination, because, well, it's a weird combination. [WWD]
• The Ebony Fashion Fair, an important industry event for black designers and models, is canceling its fall tour. The largest traveling fashion show in the world, Ebony helped launch the careers of talents like Kevan Hall and Tracey Reese, and raised money for various local and national charities including the NAACP and the Urban League. The economy is the culprit. [Examiner]
• Milan Fashion Week has been thrown into "chaos" by a series of re-schedulings to avoid schedule conflicts, which begat new conflicts and new re-schedulings, and then yet more conflicts and re-schedulings. [WWD]

I get that the point of an LBD is that you can accessorize it and make it your own; and I guess...that's exactly what Bachelor winner Shayne Lamas has done?


Kaya Jones demonstrates a baffling trend in dresses: too tight on the bottom, too loose on top.


Apparently, Andie Walsh has become a dress designer. And Rebecca Mader is buying her designs.


Haylie Duff brings the old Hollywood glamour. And as a result, must be feeling kinda out of place on this Contempo Casuals red carpet.


It's like Haley Webb is bringing the entire decade of the 1960s together in one dress: cocktails plus tie-dye! Mad Men meets Woodstock!


America Olivo, fresh from a shine in the Emerald City.


It's always a bad sign when a Hilton is one of the most demure on a red carpet.


I'm fairly sure Tim Burton had a hand in designing Shantel VanSanten's frock - I just can't figure out what his vision was. Evil-twin figure-skater?


You know how in a fancy restaurant the maitre d' can force a guy to put on a jacket? Can we do that to Dakota Pike?


And now, an incontrovertible Ugly: Nina Bergman's "Cherry Pie" special.

[Images via Getty]

The Apropos: Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon is the only one who's dressed remotely as we'd imagine one should for a "victory party." Wouldn't the dress code be "festive?"


Be Prepared: Lisa Rinna at least brings a little color, even if one suspects this is what she could have walked off the street in; I don't imagine her dressing down. But maybe that's unfair.


The Somber: Kaley Cuoco looks ready for a (chic! Maybe Rachel Zoe-styled) funeral.


Wall Street: Erika Christensen is interview-ready! I mean, I know players have to suit up when they're repping the team, and obviously some coaches choose to go all Pat Reilly. But neither of these things explains this. Not that she doesn't look sharp!


Water Baby: I'll just say what nobody else is thinking: Audrina's dress looks like the world's dowdiest, most ill-fitting bathing suit. Never a good thing in a dress. Even if only one crazy person thinks it.


What Say You about Nicky Hilton's exercise in relative restraint?


Golden Girl: Actually? I think Kathy Hilton should just embrace full-on Blanche Devereaux! I'd like to see a bedazzled two-piece ensemble of some description next week, please.


Images via Getty

• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's former bodyguard Mickey Brett might pen a tell-all or sell a TV show based on his life working for the A-list couple.

The thing is, how juicy can it possibly be? We're not talking Courtney Love-style antics with those two; it's probably like, strollers, diapers, sex, travel, diapers, diapers, sex, movie set, diapers, diapers diapers. (Sex!) [MSNBC]

• Angelina and Brad's "hot shot" attorney, Marty Singer, is calling the bodyguard a "pathological liar." [LA Times]
• As part of the trial, the court has learned that Tyra's stalker slipped into her TV studio asking to see his "very good friend." [NY Daily News]
• Parts of Heidi and Spencer's wedding had to be retaped after a generator went out in the church. Romantic! [Page Six]
• Chris Noth has indeed signed on for Sex And The City 2 Electric Boogaloo or Sex And The City 2 The Streets or whatever but Sarah Jessica Parker says she doesn't know if Carrie and Big will have kids. She also has no "clue" whether Dancing With The Stars phenom Gilles Marini will be in the sequel but my Magic 8 Ball says: Duh. [E!]
• Marc Jacobs is helping Madonna and Jesus Luz stay together! A source spills: "[Marc] wrote a letter of support for Jesus' work permit. Marc campaigned for Jesus, saying he is highly talented and a necessity to the label." Also, this report calls Madge a " well-connected cougar." Let's all get reductive! [MSNBC]
• Sniffle! According to this source, when Jesus Luz walked in a recent fashion show, "None of the other models would talk to Jesus or even look at him. They were gossiping like catty girls about how they couldn't wait for his career to fizzle out." Then they wouldn't let him play any reindeer games. [Gatecrasher]
• Casey Aldridge has been hospitalized since Sunday when he flippped his pickup truck and suffered a head injury; he will be moved from the ICU on Monday. [People]
• Rihanna is in Barbados with a "Chris Brown lookalike," which basically means the guy is black. [Daily Mail]
• "I try to be a friend for Miley," Billy Ray Cyrus says. "I know that's not everyone's parenting style… A friend, partner as an actor, a singer, songwriter and let her be a teenage girl and do her thing." Is that why you guys have matching highlights? [MSNBC]
• Uh, what? Susan Boyle has issued an ultimatum to Simon Cowell: "Let me sing or I'll quit the show." Apparently she is miffed that she has to wait five weeks before her next appearance on Britain's Got Talent. [Daily Express, The Sun]
• There are several horrifying things about this story involving Michael Jackson and his kids shopping at the Ed Hardy store in L.A.: First, the children are wearing school uniforms and feathered masquerade masks; second, MJ is wearing a fedora, headscarf, surgical mask and hideous green blazer; third, Michael Jackson's PANTS are BEYOND FUG. [Daily Mail]
• Robert Pattinson will star in a romantic drama called Remember Me, the story of a young couple whose relationship is complicated by a series of family tragedies. He'll be shooting in New York, so get ready to stalk the sparkly vampire in the gritty city. The leading lady role has not yet been cast: Who do you think it should be? [Mirror]
• In this video, Lost's Evangeline Lily talks about Jack and Sawyer. Uh, Matthew Fox and Josh Holloway. Anyway there's a nanosecond in which Sawyer has his shirt off and he is kissing Kate so click for that. [Breitbart]
• Snoop Dogg was in court yesterday, denying that he hit a dude with a brass-knuckle microphone. The guy in question has testified that he woke up backstage, naked and in a pool of blood; Snoop's position on this is that the man ran up on stage and security intervened, thinking Snoop was being attacked. [AP]
• "Intimate" pictures of Carla Bruni and an ex-lover were stolen during a burglary in Paris and apparently the "thieves appeared to know exactly what they were looking for." [Daily Mail]
• Here's a "cute" story about Justin Timberlake pressuring Jessica Biel to get wasted: "Everyone was doing shots of tequila, but Jess said she didn't want to drink anymore. Justin good-naturedly insisted, so she pulled her hair back and drank up!" [Gatecrasher]
• For $40, superfans can take a Gossip Girl bus tour of New York, and see the locations which serve as the homes and school of the characters. Just remember, only plebes take the bus. [Gothamist]
• Renée Zellweger turned 40 and Dan Abrams, Hugh Grant, Bradley Cooper, Neil Patrick Harris, Madonna, Kelly Ripa and Harry Connick Jr. were among the revelers. [Page Six]
• That dude Marilyn is still telling anyone who will listen that he was in a relationship with Gavin Rossdale in the '80s. [Daily Express]
• Pharrell Williams has been getting laser removal of his tattoos, which looks traumatizing, and now he's wearing a sling he made from a Burberry scarf. Ink removal must be really really really painful. [The Life Files, The Life Files]
• Something something financial crisis something something Aussie bank ANZ something something spent $1 million bringing Paris and Nicky Hilton to Australia for a New Year's Eve party in Sydney. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Shirley Jones, the mom on The Partridge Family, will be topless on an upcoming episode of A&E's The Cleaner. This report snipes, "We hope with her back to the camera." [Page Six]
• Edie Falco says she would gladly do a Sopranos flick: "I don't actually see it happening, but I've been surprised before." [E!]
• The Daily Fail asked Joan Collins how she would makeover Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, and Joan was delighted and thorough: "Camilla should invest in a one-piece bodysuit that hugs her figure and pulls her in at the waist. And shoulder pads are excellent for improving shape. […] A richer, honey-blonde shade, with paler highlights at the front and sides, would bring light to her face. […] Finally, Camilla's mouth is crying out for a strong-coloured lipstick." [Daily Mail]
• Don Johnson will play a "mustachioed porn director" in Born To Be A Star, the porn-themed Adam Sandler comedy. The plot? A small-town nerd learns his quiet and demure parents were famous porn stars in the 70s, and this inspires him to head for Hollywood and fullfill his destiny banging on camera. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Amanda Peet has joined the cast of Gulliver's Travels, which stars Jack Black. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Dynasty star Linda Evans is the winner of the UK's Hell's Kitchen 2009. [Daily Mail]
• A lady is suing Wolfgang Puck due to a terrible incident which occurred in the bathroom of his Beverly Hills restaurant Spago, which I'd prefer not to get into so early in the day. [TMZ]
• Blind item! "Which Oscar winner's girlfriend won't let him get to third base? She's afraid of STDs." [Gatecrasher]
• "They tried to arrest me in Russia, for leather at St. Basil's. But all is calm in the red square, as I leave the east Parisbound." — Lady GaGa. [Perez]
• "I've actually broken up with boyfriends for inspiration. When I hit a period of not being able to write music, I get up and walk away. It's pretty mean but it's true." — Lily Allen. [Daily Express]
• "I've had to end good relationships, and I know how we talked about them, and tried to be nice and everything, but I think ... maybe that bruised a little bit more on the other side than I noticed, or than it did me. Because when you flip it over, I know there were times when I was the dumpee or whatever, and I was like, 'No way am I showing her how much this is hurtin.'" — Matthew McConaughey. [USA Today]
• "Steve-O was scared and nervous, we needed to take him to the mental ward — I instructed the guys that if he doesn't want to go, knock him out, but he went and he's actually doing really good now. He's in so much a better place now and I'm really proud of him." — Johnny Knoxville. [The Star]
• "It's true that I've never had a burning desire to rebel against my parents. But in other respects I think I have rebelled. I mean, I rebelled against my record label when they wanted to shelve me, and I've rebelled against people trying to push me around in the recording studio. To me, that's always been much more exciting than going out and getting drunk. I remember at high school trying to cheer up my girlfriends who were crying in the bathroom after some party when they couldn't remember who they'd made out with the night before. You see, I don't ever want to be that girl in the bathroom crying." — Taylor Swift. [Telegraph]
• "We try to protect ourselves from being fully in love and fully open and fully vulnerable, and really all we're doing is protecting ourselves from love and real love and the opportunity to really learn and grow with another person, so it's actually really detrimental, and you think it's helping." - Pink. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "The Type A thing is a big misunderstanding. It's funny to me that I have been portrayed as a closed-off, uptight person. I'm very open. Type A is my blood type." — Reese Witherspoon. [Elle UK]

[New York, February 16. Image via INF]

[Los Angeles, February 4. Image via INF]

[Los Angeles, January 8. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

The "Good":

Because tackiness gets a "festive" pass on NYE, we'll give the okay to Stephanie Rice's sequined frock!


The Bad:
Lauryn Eagle and Amy Taylor are obviously really tight — or at least red-carpet-tight - which makes sense, because their Grecian situations are horrid in exactly the same way!


As we known, it's summer in Australia. Which does nothing to explain the prepodnerence of tangerine...or, indeed, much about Jaime Wright's little number.


Had Ruby Rose kept it simple, this look might have been unremarkable. Instead, she opted to steal a necklace from me at three years old.


Mixed Bag:
Nicky's tunic is actually pretty disco-fab. While we can't see her legs, we're thinking Paris? Not so much.

Images via Getty]

• His Diddiness continues, "I'm definitely trying to get in on that in the next two years, for real," he says. [E! Online]
• Kate Winslet says that she liked reading the Feminine Mystique in preparation for her Revolutionary Road role as a miserable 50s housefrau. She calls Betty Friedan a "feisty chick" and then says she supposes that she's a feminist, "In a loose, unofficial kind of way, I think I probably am. I mean, not in a bra-burning way. But I think I am a feminist, yeah." [Guardian]
• Balthazar Getty's foul moods have been alienating his Brothers and Sisters castmates. Getty allegedly started getting surly when his extramarital relationship with Sienna Miller started over the summer, in part because Miller used to date costar Matthew Rhys, but also because some of the cast sided with Getty's estranged wife, Rosetta, the mother of his four children. "They often have to move shooting schedules around to accommodate [him]," a source says. [AP via Yahoo News]
• So it begins: 24-year-old Scarlett Johansson is already fielding questions about the status of her uterus. "I love to work and I'm enjoying myself right now. Someday in the distant future I'm sure I'll want to [have kids]. But I'm not ready for that yet." Scar Jo says. [People]
• Guy Ritchie reportedly banned Madonna from the former couples' mansion in the English countryside for the holidays. “He couldn't bear the thought of her padding round the kitchen next morning like old times — there are too many sad memories," a source says. Aw. [The Sun]
• Jeremy Piven's "mercury poisoning" from excessive sushi intake keeps sounding fishier (heh). Apparently at first he told producers he had mono, then he claimed low-level Epstein-Barr, before finally settling on the mercury story, which has been supported by a doctor with a history of fibbing for celebrities. [TMZ]
• Since Michael Phelps is the closest thing to a real, live superhero we have, it's no surprise that they're making a video game based on his persona. "Swimming will play a role, but it won't be the main event," says Newser, but the manufacturer won't say anything more. What else might Michael be doing? [Newser]
• Click here to see the trailer for Beyonce's new movie, Obsessed, a thriller co-starring Idris Elba and Ali Larter. B plays Elba's wife, and Larter is his stalker. [Just Jared]
• Rut Roh! One of David Copperfield's assistant had his arm broken during a recent performance of a trick called the "fan illusion," in which the unidentified employee was supposed to appear as if walking through a fan, before disappearing in a cloud of smoke. Copperfield's producer Chris Kenner called it "a freak accident," and added "People are always saying that it's magic and it isn't dangerous. This goes to show you that it is." At least it's better than being a Siegfried and Roy assistant. [People]
• People were worried about Paula Abdul leaving American Idol, but apparently they have to worry about Simon Cowell ditching them now, too. “I'll make a decision about (whether to stay with the show) next year," Cowell says, not because of any fracas with Abdul, but because of his workload as a music and TV producer. [MSNBC]
• U2 fans take note! The superstars will release a new album in March called No Line On The Horizon. [Reuters]
• Is Oprah moving to DC in order to be close to the Obamas? Insiders say that Winfrey was looking at a $50 million, 9 bedroom house in the Washington area. Her rep didn't return calls. [Page Six]
• Leonardo DiCaprio and Nicky Hilton ex Kevin Connolly went over to Paris's house to hang the other night. Are we really still talking about her? [Page Six]
• Page Six is implying that Tom Cruise has oral herpes, as they gleefully point out that both Nicole Kidman and Katie Holmes have been photographed with sores on their lips. [Page Six]
• Several stars, including the sore laden Holmes, were interviewed for a new book called The Black Book of Hollywood Pregnancy Secrets. Holmes talks about loving Home Depot, while Kate Hudson says that she finds dating difficult because she's a mom. Plucky Helena Bonham Carter rages against men who criticized her for drinking coffee whilst preggo: "Yeah. You try nine months of gestation and self-abnegation before you start censoring my diet. Your mother was probably on vodka, and do you have three heads?” Finally, Tina Fey says, “I don’t care how many [magazine] covers you’re on. When you’re chasing a 3-year-old around with a pull-up [diaper] hoping she won’t poop on the floor, you’re just like every other mom on the planet.” [NYDN]

So, I think it was Travis Barker. Remember when she was briefly hooking up with him and then she got in that feud with Shanna Moakler? He comes off as having the potential to be a real cheapskate.

On a side note, everyone at the slumber party was either a relative or relatively famous, except for this girl: Hanna Beth Merjos.

I'm pushing 30, so I'm not as up on kid culture and only have a marginal knowledge of "scene queens." From Urban Dictionary:

A scene queen is a girl who is really popular or "famous" on the internet. You can easily find their profiles on webistes such as Myspace, LiveJournal,or Buzznet. Scene queens are "famous" because:

1) They dated a guy in a popular emo or hardcore band
2) They have alot of friends on Myspace, Buzznet etc.
3) They are friends with another scene queen

Sceen Queens wear alot of large jewlery. They take millions of pictures of themseleves and their friends. They go to shows often. Most have unique and often hideous hair. Once they become popular most Scene Queens get their own Clothing Line, Jewlery Line, Photography Company or Band.
Some examples of Scene Queens include:

Audrey Kitching
Zui Suicide
Miss Hanna Beth
Kelly VonHart
Kiki Kannibal
Jac Vanek

From what I can tell, these girls just take a lot of pictures of themselves in weird outfits and then post them online and people make fan sites about them. I don't know how this generates into money. Anyway, what's interesting (at least to me) is that, like Hana Beth, Zui Suicide, who was a contestant on Paris Hilton's My New BFF, is also a scene queen. I know that Zui and Audrey Kitching used to be best friends and then had a falling out and then Audrey and Hanna Beth were best friends and then had a falling out. But I'm not sure where Zui and Hanna stand, as far as friendship/hating each other goes.

I wonder if Paris was aware of any of this. And I wonder why I am.

I don't adore actress Sara Paxton dress-shoe combo, but she looks like a model of chic restraint in this crew.
Christina Milian's another one who's really benefiting from the curved grading here: under normal circumstances, I don't know how many point I could have awarded what resembles a plastic belt. But hey, next to the Hiltons? Audrey Hepburn!
Courtenay Semel was on Filthy Rich Cattle Drive, so I'm assuming she didn't actually get this ensemble at Forever21.
Laura Prepon looks like a normal person (even though I miss her red hair like a lost limb.) Major points for this.
Actress Lauren C. Mayhew is admittedly suffering from the fact that this sort of gratuitous millinery hijinx is a bete noire of mine.
Tila in girlish mode.
Visionary Robin Antin actually looks less strange here than she often does. Which is not to say she doesn't look strange, in a visionary sort of way.
Nicky Hilton paints on horizontal stripes. Which, it's true, don't seem to add any bulk, but still manage to look bad!
Paris Hilton continues her campaign to render black the new hot pink.
LiLo's pants are looking healthier than usual; the shirt, however, has lost a few inches to compensate.

[Images via Getty, Filmmagic]

The Good:
Shoshanna Gruss wears clear colors beautifully. I also really like how well her designs accommodate breasts.
I was seriously conflicted about the constellations on Lydia Hearst's breasts (whoa, sorry, I'm like Russ Meyer over here today), but overall, she looks lovely.
Loud, yes. But Ashanti's young and I think this is fun. Plus, the belt breaks it up and the shape's terrific.
Oh, gang, I wish there were a better shot of Natasha Bedingfield's outfit. There were enough partial views and shots with bits of the bodice in them that by careful deconstructive work I was able to determine that her dress is, in fact, very cute.

The Bad
Olivia Palermo: go to jail, go directly to jail. Your dress is covered in spangles, and topped with a lace-trimmed vest.
Full disclosure: I own more than one Charlotte Ronson garment. She looks absurd. Also, like an American Apparel mannequin. (And yes, I realize that's a redundancy.)
Can I express to you my boredom with the shrink-wrapped strapless minidress? Sure, Julie Henderson has the figure for it. But it's profoundly uninteresting without being classic. (Can you tell I'm just trying to avoid using the "I'm over it" construction? So arbitrary and dismissive, it is.)
Nicky Hilton might have gotten a pass on this Missoni-esque number if she hadn't gone and added an equally busy python platform.
I agree, Carmen Kass doesn't look terrible; she's probably incapable of it. But the more I look at this outfit, the more convinced I become that it involved a striking disharmony of proportion and approximately five busy details too many.
Can we put Dina Lohan in here on the basis of hair? My 8 Ball says it is decidedly so.


The Ugly:
I feel a little bad putting inker Kat Von D here, since this is basically just how she dresses. The fact that she wouldn't give a fuck is a palliative.

Images via Getty

The Good:

Felicity Huffman keeps it simple and showcases toned shoulders.

Gabrielle Union's little summer dress is pretty cute. She should take her hands out of her pockets, though.

Love the color and drape of Joy Bryant's dress. Beachy keen!

Love the color of Becki Newton's dress, too! Just one piece can look so chic.

Sanaa Lathan, golden girl. She looks so great in this dress I'm willing to forgive the borderline shoes.

Rachel Bilson's jacket and skirt seem sophisticated, but I'm torn on the shoes. They're sort of cool and new and different and they're sort of horrifying. I like the rest so much I'm erring on the side of Good.

The Bad:

Maria Cross: Meh. The shoes are too heavy, in my opinion. A thin-strap sandal for a more bare look might be better.

Yeah, I don't know, Mena Suvari. Part of me likes the Pat Benatar thing she's got going, the other part of me winces, because how long can we do '80s?

Amy Smart is a lovely lady, but this dress is bad. The neckline is bad, the belt is bad and I think the fabric is bad.

Is Elizabeth Banks wearing a wardrobe castoff from Sophia Coppola's Virgin Suicides?

Zoe Saldana's hemline is a gynecologist's dream.

Nicky Hiton looks awkward, like an overgrown baby doll.

I think Lost alum Maggie Grace looks pretty but the satin shorts are killing me. They're super cute if you're playing the role of Miss Adelaide is Guys And Dolls, but otherwise, no.

I like Kelly Rutherford's blouse. I like Kelly Rutherford's skirt. I love Kelly Rutherford's shoes. I do not like them all together. Maybe if the blouse wasn't quite so buttoned up and the skirt were longer? I don't know.

The Ugly:

Sophia Bush is gorgeous; this weird zippered apron dress and chunky brown shoes are not.

Oh, Whitney Port. So many trends, so little time.

[Images via FilmMagic.]

• [Mariah Carey] is very happy. I've spoken with her and she is superb. She is over the moon. I received an email from her [Monday] and she is so happy. She really sounds like someone on her honeymoon." — Andre Leon Talley. Talley also says the wedding happened so quickly he "didn't have the time to offer her any style tips!" Underminer. [People]
  
• Britney Spears' progress impressed the court yesterday. She will now get three days of supervised visitation a week; within a month she should get overnight visits. Stay the course, girl! [TMZ]
  
• Lindsay Lohan has another job! She'll star in Labor Pains, a comedy about a young woman who pretends to be pregnant to avoid being fired. Yay for her; boo for another damn knocked up movie. Is that all women are good for? [Page Six]

• Liv Tyler didn't wear her wedding ring to the Costume Institute Gala. Add this to the sad stuff in the last Midweek Madness about getting married too young and hubby Royston Langdon being a leech on her assets, and you gotta wonder... [Rush & Molloy]
• Scarlett Johansson, however, did have a ring on her finger: The rock Ryan Reynolds gave her. [Rush & Molloy]
• Denise Richards knew her marriage to Charlie Sheen wasn't going to work when he accused Richards of poisoning their daughter with a vaccination. Yeah, I don't know. [Page Six]
• Nicky Hilton cut the buffet line at Diddy's party. "Everyone behind her rolled their eyes," says a source. [Rush & Molloy]
• Robin Williams has pledged to keep his divorce civil. Good for him! Boring for us. [People]
• Ryan Seacrest may be replacing Larry King??? Sources say he will take over Larry King Live at the end of the year. "He's the classic generalist," King says. "The only thing I don't know, and I've gotten to know him pretty well, is how versed he is in politics, world affairs. Does he read the paper? Is he interested in Iraq? Because if he is, he's going to be very good." Haha, Iraq. Raise your hand if you think Seacrest knows where it is. [MSNBC]
• Mary-Kate Olsen was submitted by Showtime as "Best Guest Actress in a Comedy Series" for her role on Weeds. She could win an Emmy! [MSNBC]
• Pete Doherty left prison with a certificate proclaiming him drug-free. (He may have made the certificate himself.) He told reporters: "I made a few friends in there and the food was all right. I can't wait to have a rum and coke. I've missed the little things like girls and cats." [Mirror]
• Terri Irwin, widow of Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin, has settled a lawsuit with creditors who claimed the zoo owed them $2.3 million. [Yahoo News]
• If you thought the Gwyneth Paltrow Vogue cover was PhotoShopped, wait till you see the GQ bobblehead cover. [PsD]
• Ugly Betty is moving to New York! I've always hated the fake-ass "Manhattan" streets they use, which are so clearly a Hollywood lot. Now New Yorkers will have Wilhelmina, Marc and Amanda sightings! [LA Times]
• So, you know the rumor that Mr. Big dies in the Sex And The City movie? Director Michael Patrick King says: "Kill Mr. Big? I would have been chased around the planet by women with torches. It's a summer movie. Why would I want to kill anyone?" [CNN]
• The new Coldplay album will be a rainbow! "Each song is our attempt to do a different colour," says Chris Martin. "It doesn't matter whether the record is good or bad. It matters that it's colourful. The songs are supposed to be flavours, things we haven't tasted before." Um, good to know. [The Sun]
• Rosie O'Donnell responded to the interview Barbara Walters gave on Oprah, saying, "I love her." [People]
• Harry Potter author JK Rowling has won her battle to ban the publication of a long-lens photograph of her son in a privacy case. One of the judges explained: "If a child of parents who are not in the public eye could reasonably expect not to have photographs of him published in the media, so too should the child of a famous parent." [Reuters]

• Cameron Diaz and Gerard Butler: Three dates in ten days. Touchy-feely everywhere. It's like, so on. Yeah, this is the kind of news that makes us ache inside. You, too? [Mirror]
  
• Neither Beyoncé nor Jay-Z have confirmed that they were married. But on stage in North Carolina on Saturday, Mary J. Blige (who is on tour with Jay) shouted "Congratulations to my man, Jay-Z, and my girl B," during the show. If Mary says it, you gotta believe! [People]
  
• Oooh, apparently guests at the Z-Knowles wedding were asked to leave all cell phones, cameras and guns at home and were frisked at the door — yet three guns were left in an "amnesty box" outside Jay-Z's apartment. Dangerously in love! [Mirror]
  
• Pregnant Jamie Lynn Spears spent her 17th birthday eating at Ruby Tuesday and shopping at Wal-Mart with her fiancé. [People]
  
• "I work with underprivileged girls, mostly minorities, who hate themselves because they don't look like Lauren Conrad. Who the fuck wants to look like the girls on The Hills? They're complete nitwits. Success is about more than acquiring a Hermes bag." — Stacy London of What Not To Wear. [Rush & Molloy]

• Click here to see what Scarlett Johansson's album cover looks like. (She's lying on some ferns inside of a stump or something, but it looks prettier than it sounds.) [People]
• Jessica Alba had a baby shower on Sunday; Rashida Jones, Jaime King and Kim Kardashian were in attendance. The menu featured chicken, tiger shrimp, dark chocolate-dipped strawberries and cupcakes. Jess received strollers, cradles, Dr. Seuss books, rattles and clothes. Yawn. [E!]
• Lily Allen and Kelly Osbourne turned up at the same event wearing the same Vivienne Westwood dress. Horrors! [Mirror]
• Madonna will adopt a kid from India after she finishes promoting her new album. Namaste! [The Sun]
• Um, unless, as this paper says, David Banda is the last child she ever adopts. [The Sun]
• Thandie Newton is going to play Condi Rice in Oliver Stone's new movie??? Love her, but she doesn't look like the Secretary of State. Then again, Josh Brolin doesn't look like W, so. Sigh. [LA Times]
• Nicky Hilton, who is dating Mary-Kate Olsen's ex, David Katzenberg, is becoming good friends with The Hills' Whitney Port, who is dating Ashley Olsen's ex, Matt Kaplan. Are you keeping up? Think of it this way: Hollywood is one giant bacteria swap. [Page Six]
• Dane Cook's neighbors hate him because he doesn't pick up after his dog. Gross. [Page Six]
• Paul McCartney and Heather Mills' daughter Beatrice was seen shopping with her nanny, picking out her own clothes without her parents there, poor thing. She is 4. [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, Sir Paul has praised ex-wife Linda (and taken a swipe at Heather) by noting that Linda (who died in 1998) "didn't go on TV and say, 'This is who I am - hello' and try to ingratiate herself. Her priorities were private rather than public." [Mirror]
• Oh, and Paul's new girlfriend, "millionairess" Nancy Shevell, seems kind of great. [Daily Mail]
• Unfinished Kelly Clarkson tracks have leaked on to the Internet. That "sucks," says Kelly Clarkson. [Reuters]
• As previously reported, there's an X-rated blow-up doll based on Sarah Jessica Parker and Sex And The City. Will there also be a lawsuit? [UPI]
• Porn star Mary Carey announced "I'm 37 days sober!" at a NYC restaurant last week, then had a glass of wine. [Gatecrasher]
• Jessica Simpson is "shaving" on the new cover of Esquire. [Gatecrasher]
• Ashlee Simpson's album will be released almost at the same time as Mariah Carey's. Doesn't look good for Ash. [MSNBC]
• Did Mariah lipsync on a UK TV show? [Perez Hilton]
• Dina Lohan is "worried" about tabloid attention on daughter Ali, who stars in Dina's upcoming reality show. "It's scary because I did it with Lindsay and got her to the level of success that she is at and with the tabloids ... so with Ali now it's scary ... they are already making things up about her," Dina says. Thrusting her into the spotlight will certainly solve the problem! [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which Disney youth act's gay stylist had the suits in a dither because he insisted on dressing the boys in the tightest possible clothes? The execs had to back down when the "beyond metrosexual" look was a smash with their target 'tween audience." [Gatecrasher]
• George Clooney received an anonymous voice mail from a man telling him to ditch girlfriend Sarah Larson. The man said, "Dude, your friends asked me to give you a message: Dump the bitch before you're sorry!" Clooney had the call traced to a pre-paid cell phone but still doesn't know who left the message. Maybe the person who "writes" IDontlikeYouInThatWay? [TMZ]
• Photo agency x17 has apologized to Tony Parker and Eva Longoria for posting the claims of model Alexandra Paressant, who said that she'd had an affair with Tony after he married Eva. Tony had never even met Paressant. Friday the agency said: X17online.com and X17 Inc. regret having been misled by Ms. Paressant and her representatives and apologize to Mr. Parker for any damage or inconvenience this may have caused him or his wife." [TMZ]
• The reason Naomi Campbell had a hissy fit on a British Airways flight? When they lost her luggage, she reportedly said, "I must have the clothing that is in the suitcase because it is a brand that I have got to wear otherwise I don't get paid." [Mirror]
• Dancing With The Stars champ Cheryl Burke has opened her own dance studio in San Francisco. [ET]
• Jennie Garth might make a cameo appearance in the pilot of the 90210 spinoff! [LA Times]
• Rickrolling has actually spurred sales of Rick Astley songs. Amazing. [Reuters]
• Colin Farrell toured Bosnia in preparation for a new film. ""I felt sick," he says. "It is hard to describe how obviously the air and the land has been poisoned by the act of killing 8,000 people in the space of a day. But you really do get the sense of the pain and the loss and I am sad, I really am sad." [Reuters]
• 21 was number one at the box office again, beating George Clooney's Leatherheads. [E!]
• Charlton Heston is dead. [People]

1. Patent red plus a pussy bow? Some how filthy. Try not to think about it. 2. For when the sales girls at Ralph Lauren have been naughty? 3. Why be a jockey if you can be a stripper?

1.Unflattering in so many different ways. 2.This sweater gives the poor girl football player shoulders. 3. This look really makes no sense.

1. A dress to make my vertigo worse. 2.Houndstooth and pleather: unfortunate bedfellows. 3.Prim, proper, and so not Hilton.

[Runway images via AP; Hilton image via Splash.]

• Spencer Pratt is getting an advice column in Radar. "Yo Spencer!" will debut in the April issue; the idea is so dumb it's genius. [USA Today]
  
• The Beckhams went shopping at the Pleasure Chest adult store in Hollywood and stocked up on supplies. "They seemed to know exactly what they wanted," a witness says. What do you think was on their list? Vibes? Lube? The purple penetrator? [The Sun]
  
• Watch Britney's new anime video! [People]
  
• "It pains me to report that on the first day of the shoot, Britney knew her lines better than I knew mine," How I Met Your Mother actor Josh Radnor says. "She's been great to work with." [People]
  
• The CW network is developing a contemporary spinoff of Beverly Hills, 90210. Maybe think of it as a mashup of The OC and Gossip Girl. [The Hollywood Reporter]

• Nicky Hilton says: "There's no truth to any starvation, eating disorders rumors. I think the press has been printing a lot of pictures of me from unflattering angles. My friends see the pictures and they're like, 'Oh my god are you OK?' And then they see me, and they're like 'Oh...' It's really not that interesting or true." [MSNBC]
• Amy Winehouse's father says the fact that he had an mistress when Amy was young is partly to blame for her troubled life — he had a "work wife" while he was still married to Amy's mom. Sigh. [The Sun]
• Is Rachael Ray's syndicated show going off the air? The ratings suck. She'd still have her Food Network shows, though. Unfortch. [Page Six]
• Anne Hathaway: Into absinthe. [Page Six]
• Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi and actor Skeet Ulrich? Hot. [Page Six]
• Three blind items! 1. "Which friendly actor recently fell off the wagon? Though he's been in rehab several times, he was spotted stumbling out of a Hollywood hotel at 7 a.m. looking totally 'wasted.'" 2. "Which young soap starlet made networks execs extremely nervous when she was starting out? She was known for fooling around with her much older producers." 3. "Which Hollywood hunk cheats on his gorgeous model girlfriend all the time? They've been together for a while but he's clearly not ready to settle down." [Page Six]
• Is Paul Newman OK? He's having back problems. Be well! [Rush & Molloy]
• Melissa Joan Hart popped! The actress and her hubs welcomed their second child, a son, on Wednesday. Welcome to the world, Braydon Hart Wilkerson. [People]
• The final Harry Potter book will become two movies; the first is due in November 2010 and the second in May of 2011. [ET]
• Paul McCartney is appearing in ads for PETA — the organization that dumped his estranged wife Heather Mills last year. [Mirror]
• Speaking of Sir Paul — the judge should be ruling on his divorce — and deciding how much cash Heather will get — on Monday. [Yahoo News]
• China's Culture Ministry says it will tighten controls over foreign artists after Björk shouted "Tibet! Tibet!" at a recent concert in Shanghai. China forbids artists from performing content that "harms national unity." [Reuters]
• Patrick Swayze's mom on her son's cancer: "He just doesn't deserve it. He's got such a big heart. He's been such a good and generous and thoughtful person. It breaks my heart to know he's suffering." [Perez Hilton]

The Accused: Rian of The Skinny. Sigh.
The Crime: Scrutinizing the midsection of beleaguered, 21-year-old freshly sober Lindsay Lohan. The Evidence: "Lindsay Lohan Has A Tummy Bump. Food? Baby bump? Bloat? Weight gain?" Muses Rian. Do people really not have any idea what a woman's body is supposed to look like? Ever seen the Venus of Willendorf, a painting by Rubens, or like, the birth of Venus? Or Venus and the Lute player? It's not natural for a woman's abdomen to be totally flat. She can sculpt it into submission with crunches, and it can still stick out a little. There are vital organs in there. This is the way we are made. Learn to love it and quit nitpicking. I feel like crying. The Sentence: Rian needs to write a detailed letter to LL, apologizing, even if she never mails it. And then: Forgive herself. Plus: Sessions with a therapist specializing in body dysmorphia.

The Accused: The dude behind What Would Tyler Durden Do?
The Crime: Belittling a woman because she's not, in his opinion, physically or aesthetically pleasing. The Evidence: "I looked it up, and if you masturbate to a picture of [Cynthia Nixon's partner] Christine Marinoni, it counts as Sexual Misconduct in 41 states. In fact In Texas, they'll shoot you. And rightfully so. Pervert." Hey, guy, listen. A female's worth cannot be judged by her face or body. Cynthia loves this woman. Does someone love you? Do you love yourself?
Additional Crime: Mocking of Nicky Hilton's legs, weight, wishing harm upon her. The Evidence: "I'm glad to see she's supper skinny. Hopefully she has an eating disorder." The Sentence: This gentleman ought to be forced to spend a few nights in a male sexual offender's prison cell; then spend the day in the intensive care unit of a hospital cleaning the bedpans and monitoring the IVs of anorexic patients.

The Accused: A Socialite's Life
The Crime: Believing that good looks triumph over all. The Evidence: "She explained why she was experiencing trepidation about bringing a girl into this world, 'I think women suffer more a bit more than boys, and there is always conflict between mother and daughters.' However, Salma went on to say that couldn't happier that her daughter is in her life adding, "And I can't imagine there ever being conflict between us, because I'm in a state of innocence where I love everything she does.' Also, if her daughter ends up looking anything like her mother, I have a feeling she'll be able to bypass at least some of that suffering." Because if you are a pretty woman than there are no obstacles! Being beautiful is the ultimate aspiration for women. So twisted. The Sentence: A month without vision, learning to judge people by their words and actions, not their faces.

The Accused: Perez Hilton
The Crime: Assuming, as many of these bloggers are wont to do, that pregnant and fat are the same. The Evidence: "Wow...Jamie Lynn [Spears] is looking so....mature. Or maybe it's just her bloated face!" Gestating a human requires adding more than a few pounds, people. Educate yourselves. The Sentence: Some sort of intestinal parasite that causes discomfort and weight gain.

The Accused: The demented little boy known as Drunken Stepfather.
The Crime: Insulting, misogynous remarks about Kim Kardashian, and, of course, her posterior. The Evidence: "She doesn't have cellulite because her fat is so compacted that the skin looks smooth, when really it's just tryin' to hold it all in there without exploding all over the place. Most fat chicks swim in their t-shirts, but this bitch seems to think it's ok to wear a bikini. She also thinks it's ok to pose for Playboy. What bitch needs to do is spend some time with her boyfriend's personal pro-athlete trainer, not more time thinkin' her body is good enough to flaunt, even though I'm still checkin' it out, but I am a easy to please." Well. We all know that Kim Kardashian is not fat. We all know that DS is trying to incite controversy, or outrage, or attention, or all of the above. But it's still not right to type these words about any woman. The Sentence: I don't even know anymore. Suggestions?

[Los Angeles, March 5. Images via Bauer-Griffin.]

Earlier: "Is Nicky Wasting Away? (scroll down)