• In an interview with Entertainment Tonight, a visibly angry Jon Gosselin says Kate Gosselin is trying to prevent him from seeing their twins on their birthday tomorrow but, "She can't tell me what to do... I'm just going to stay."

• Kate wants Jon to spend only two hours with the kids tomorrow, but Jon says he owns half of the house and has joint custody, so he'll do what he pleases. Jon explains that he knows what Kate says about him to the kids when he's not there because, "Maddy can't keep a secret. She tells me right away." He adds, "This thing has gotten so crazy and we've let too many people in, and everything's going haywire…They didn't ask for this. It's not their fault. But it is our fault by throwing our kids out there, shoving a camera in their face and asking an eight- or nine-year-old to explain it." [Entertainment Tonight]
• In the video at the link Jon Gosselin pulls out his Blackberry and reads an email from Kate Gosselin about the party. They had planned to host it together but she says, "Due to recent events, it'll be too stressful." Jon calls her ridiculous and says, "I can stay as long as I want... and I will." [TMZ]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin's scheduled hearing over their money dispute was cancelled today because the judge's wife died of cancer. [TMZ]
• The hearing will be delayed by at least a week, which gives Jon Gosselin some more time to blow through the cash he took out of his joint account with Kate. [TMZ]
• Michael Lohan blames Jon Gosselin's problems on his lawyer. "From a legal standpoint, I don't agree with anything being done right now," says Lohan, adding that he believes, "that Jon will not have his kids living with no roof over his head so I think they'll work something out. However, and this is a big however, whoever his counsel was who advised Jon to do what he did are the ones who should be put on the chopping block." [Radar Online]
• TMZ has pictures of Kevin Federline's rented Tarzana, CA home, which he is accused of destroying. The house he was raising his two boys in was filthy and had cigarettes and glass bottles tossed all over the yard and near play areas. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Aniston's rep says reports that she and Brad Pitt met in a New York City hotel to discuss his relationship with Angelina Jolie are untrue. [Us]
• Robert "Joe" Halderman didn't expose David Letterman's affair with his live-in-girlfriend Stephanie Birkitt for financial reasons. "This wasn't about money, not money alone," said a source. "This was revenge. It was about making Letterman miserable. He wants to hurt Letterman as much as he can — and he wanted to hurt the girl, too." [N.Y. Post]
• Stephanie Birkitt has been banned from the Late Show With David Letterman set. [TMZ]
• Tila Tequila explained on her blog that the "post traumatic stress" she's been suffering since the domestic violence incident with Shawne Merriman was what led her to Tweet, "I am going to kill myself cuz I don't want to life in a world where its filled with IGNORANCE! which majority of you ARE! & racists!" She writes: "I am a bit embarrassed and ashamed that the whole world witnessed my very public meltdown about being suicidal, but at the same time, I know that I shouldn't be... Had I not spoken out for help, my loved ones would not have seen my cry for help, and I probably wouldn't be alive today. Had I not done what I did that night, I most definitely would have made the biggest mistake of my life, that I can never undo." [E!]
• Janet Jackson says she hasn't been reading or watching the news since Michael Jackson's death. "People can have rhinoceros skin, but there's a point when something's going to hurt you," she said. "I haven't watched the news in weeks. I had to ask my chef, 'How's Obama doing?' I haven't read a newspaper." [The Sun]
• Though the sheriff's deputy who arrested Mel Gibson called TMZ twice on the same day the site leaked parts of his report including his anti-Semitic comments, authorities investigating the leak say they couldn't identify who handed over the report. [L.A. Times]
• Nick Nolte's son Brawley King Nolte, who was the kidnapped kid in Ransom, was arrested for suspicion of DUI and possession of a controlled substance yesterday in Santa Monica. His bail is set at $5,000. [TMZ]
• Janice Dickinson ignored a lawsuit filed against her by City National Bank and now a judge has ruled that she has to pay $304,449, the balance she owed on a loan plus attorney fees. [TMZ]
• At the link, watch a video for the campaign to get Tracy Morgan to join Twitter. [Buzzfeed]
• Jennifer Hudson will film a Christmas special for ABC called Jennifer Hudson: I'll Be Home for Christmas in Chicago. [AP]
• Alicia Keys is launching AK Worldwide, a new company that will handle her projects, especially her non-music related work. "It is really about finding ways to bring forth things into the world that will give you and all the people that encounter them, and myself, inspiration," she said. [AP]
• Outside the Cheesecake Factory last night Kanye West told the paparazzi that he ordered chicken because, "I'm black." [TMZ]
• The Lego David Bowie in the upcoming Lego: Rock Band game is so detailed it has two different colored eyes. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Illeana Douglas is producing a new web series called Sparhusen about a Swedish band that plays music for IKEA. It's a spinoff of her web series Easy To Assemble about a fictional version of herself taking a job at the store. [Entertainment Weekly]
• Heidi Klum has checked into the hospital to give birth to her daughter. [Perez Hilton]
• Rainn Wilson will star in a series of ads for the NBA on TNT. [UPI]
• Reports that Lisa Marie Presley's 17-year-old son has signed a recording contract with Universal Music are untrue. [People]
• Mark "Hollywood" Hatten says his ex-girlfriend Anna Nicole Smith was always, "begging with me to kill E. Pierce Marshall" because she felt that after her husband died, his son Pierce was "standing in the way of her money." [TMZ]
• At the link is a commercial featuring Drew Barrymore for this week's Saturday Night Live. [Just Jared]
• Maksim Chmerkovskiy says he's relived that his partner Debi Mazar has been kicked off Dancing With the Stars because he won't have to endure any more awkward encounters with his ex-fiancée, Karina Smirnoff. "I feel completely betrayed. I'm done," he said. [People]
• Marion Ross, who played Mrs. Cunningham on Happy Days, will do a five episode stint as Sally Field's mother on Brothers & Sisters. [L.A. Times]
• Jermaine Clement says Flight of the Conchords will, "be on one of the future Rock Bands. We don't know which songs yet but we're thinking about it at the moment and we're open to suggestions." [ONTD]
• Hilary Swank says, "For a long time, I was a loner because [my ex-husband Chad Lowe] was my best friend, and we were really happy just hanging out, he and I. I think it was maybe five years ago that I realized how important my friends were to me, and I realized they were a big part of my letting go. When I got divorced three years ago, I needed them more than ever. I have really good girlfriends. Mariska Hargitayis my best friend." [Just Jared]
• Prepare to have your heart broken: Emma Thompson has signed the petition to free Roman Polanski. [Shakesville]
• In the new Harper's Bazaar cover story, Tina Fey says that Liz Lemon and Carrie Bradshaw would get along because, "Liz has little to no style and little to no sex drive" and "Carrie would be very encouraging of Lemon and help her have more confidence." [People]

[Malibu, October 8. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Amy Winehouse is doing fine, says her spokesman, whom she pays to say such things. Despite tabloid rumors, she is not on a suicide watch. [People]
• Also, Amy's mom says Amy is a good influence on her goddaughter, Dionne, who wants to be a singer. [Daily Express]
• Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman: Back on. [People]
• Michelle Rodriguez was staying at a fancy hotel in Coconut Grove, FL but she must have had a fight with the ladyfriend she was traveling with: Guests heard two women yelling at 9am Sunday morning and one saw Michelle in the hallway, banging on the door, hollering, "If you don't open up, you're not getting your [pleasure toy] back." Then the door creaked open. [Rush & Molloy]
• Nick Nolte suffered smoke inhalation and abrasions during a fire at his home in Malibu. The blaze seems to have started in the bedroom due to an electrical problem, and when firefighters arrived Nolte was trying to put it out himself with a garden hose. [UPI, AP]

• Travis Barker is still in a burn center in an L.A. hospital. His condition has been "up and down." [E!]
• Travis tells Us Weekly: "I hate planes. My biggest fear ever is to be involved in a plane crash, so when that happened… well, I'm just thankful to be alive! I'm just grateful to be here at all. I am doing the best I can possibly be. I'm so anxious to get out of here. I've just been in surgery after surgery. I have third-degree burns basically from my feet up to my waist and both hands. One of my hands has second-degree burns and one has third-degree burns. I'm trying to have a quick recovery and play the drums again and be able to hold my kids again." [AP]
• Britney Spears may have to go to trial over driving without a valid license. This case stems from an August 2007 charge after she hit a parked car and left the scene. [USA Today]
• Jennifer Lopez and Leah Remini were attached at the hip at the Elle Women In Hollywood event: They even held hands when they went to the bathroom together. And yeah, Leah is a Scientologist. [E!]
• Natalie Portman has discovered microloans through Queen Rania of Jordan and says she's learning to curb her "accumulation mentality." When "you meet people who have one shirt," it makes you stop and think, Natalie says. "If I have 40 shirts, why would I ever buy anything more?" [Newser]
• It's official: Salma Hayek will be on 30 Rock, maybe shooting in the next few days. That show is the new Love Boat. [E!]
• Kanye West to Ellen: "You have really great style." [People]
• Ted Casablanca on Kanye and Ellen: "It's really refreshing to see a tough rapper so at home with the gay stuff." El oh el at "tough." [E!]
• Billy Ray Cyrus calls Miley's boyfriend, 20-year-old Justin Gaston, "a good kid." This was the one with the bible, you'll recall. [People]
• Meanwhile, a Hannah Montana co-creator is suing Disney over a percentage of the profits from licensed merchandise. Up against The Mouse in court? Good luck! [Perez Hilton]
• Penn Badgley, aka Dan Humphrey from Gossip Girl, has a crush on Parker Posey. [NY Mag]
• Josh Kelley is "always trying to impress" Katherine Heigl, if you care. [People]
• Eva Longoria will be a guest judge on Project Runway, not that we know when it will ever come back. [ONTD]
• Paris Hilton gets presidential advice from fake prez Matin Sheen. [Funny Or Die]
• Madonna wore Clark Kent-style specs at her NYC concert, and this Brit tab accuses her of stealing them from Lourdes. [The Sun]
• Maggie Gyllenhaal will be shilling Duracell batteries by becoming the spokesperson for the Power A Smile campaign, in which young ambassadors to deliver gifts to patients in children's hospitals this holiday season. [BrandWeek]
• Speaking of Gyllenhaals: Maggie and Jake's parents are calling it quits after decades of marriage. Does anyone stay together? Ever? [Perez Hilton]
• Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are reportedly househunting in London. Sigh. [Daily Express]
• Jamie Lynn Spears and her baby daddy Casey Aldridge are on the cover of OK! magazine with the cover line "I'm No Cheater." More on this in Midweek Madness… [Perez Hilton]
• Scarlett Johansson wears red white and blue on the kookily patriotic cover of CosmoGirl!. [PopSugar]
• Bad news for Eddie Izzard fans: The Riches has been canceled. [UPI]
• Could The View win an Emmy if Elisabeth Hasselbeck left? [LA Times]
• Janet Jackson may or may not have vertigo. [Perez Hilton]
• Lily Allen may have a new man, since she was photographed in the vicinity of some random dude. [The Sun]
• The Iranian actress in Leo DiCaprio's new flick, Body Of Lies says: "I had a lot of problems because of this movie. (Iranian officials) took my passport. The intelligence service interrogated me several times. In the end, the judge said, 'We have to see the movie and then decide what we're going to do with you.'" She is afraid to go home to Iran and is living in France with her husband since the incident. [Daily Express]
• Whee! Slash action figure! [UPI]
• There's a picture of Paul McCartney in a McDonald's in Liverpool, but he's been a vegetarian for 30 years. Sir Paul is pissed. [The Sun]
• A bouncer asked Stephen Dorff to smoke outside and he yelled, "Do you want a piece of me? You don’t know who you’re messing with." Yeah, probably not. You're an actor, right? [The Sun]
• A post-divorce Bill Murray is looking for renewal. He says when his ex-wife filed papers alleging that he abused her and was addicted to alcohol and marijuana, "That was devastating. That was the worst thing that ever happened to me in my entire life." [AP]
• The new Bond girl was born with six fingers on each hand. [Newser]
• Dancing With The Stars' Derek Hough is living with girlfriend Shannon Elizabeth — as is his entire band. [People]
• Love, LOVE this artwork for Cadillac Record, starring Adrien Brody, Jeffrey Wright and Beyoncé. [Concrete Loop]
• Things you never wanted to know about Rob Lowe's nanny: She allegedly only dates black guys because of their cocks. She bragged that her boyfriend's penis was "the second largest black cock in the NBA.'" [TMZ]
• Brody Jenner has found "the one" and she is a 22-year-old Playmate named Jayde Nicole, of course. [Perez Hilton]
• "I'm not the ... pervert that I've been painted to be." Peter Cook, Christie Brinkley's ex, to Barbara Walters in an interview that will air Friday on ABC's 20/20. [People]
• "[Society wants women] on anti-depressants so they are no longer creative or fierce. They dull your rage. People don't like angry women so they say, 'We're going to have to drug that bitch to get her to shut up. We will humiliate her and disenfranchise her, but first she has to shut up.'" — Roseanne Barr. [Guardian]
• "She calls herself feminist but she's not. She's a careerist. I had a time in my life too when I didn't stay at home with my kids because I was on a bigger mission. She'll pay for it later though. She'll get her karma… In the 60s we used to say if a woman ruled the world there would be no war. But that's not right. What we mean is a thinking, conscious woman, and there's no place for any of us in this world. To make it in a man's world takes a certain kind of woman. Sarah Palin is the kind of woman they want right now." — Roseanne Barr. [Guardian]
• "By denying the responsibility of man in global warming, by advocating gun rights and making statements that are disconcertingly stupid, you are a disgrace to women and you alone represent a terrible threat, a true environmental catastrophe." — Brigitte Bardot, in a letter to Sarah Palin and John McCain. [Yahoo News]
• "In my opinion, Stephen King is without question our greatest writer. No one tells a better story than Stephen… I set out to write a good story with The Notebook, one that would sell 10 million copies and make me rich… and I did." — Nicholas Sparks. [Page Six]
• "Posh doesn't strike me as particularly stylish. I don't think she's a good example of British style at all." — Mischa Barton. [The Sun]
• "I won't respond to that. That doesn't even deserve the dignity of a response. I don't know the details of that. It is absolutely ridiculous… This from the Guardian? I don't believe it! It is insulting that you would even bring it up! My God… I turned down the Mail to do this!" —Faye Dunaway, on the rumor that she threw a cup of urine in Roman Polanski's face when the director refused to allow bathroom breaks on the set of Chinatown. [Guardian, via NY Mag]

[Malibu, February 3. Image via x17]

• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith are throwing David and Victoria Beckham a "Welcome To America" party. A source says the invitations have already gone out, and, surprise! They're "tacky." [PageSix]
  
• Mischa Barton-schtupper Cisco Adler says he has "some sort of gift with women." Uh, that's a statement that takes balls! [PageSix]
  
• Heather Mills may only get $102 million in her Paul McCartney divorce settlement. This is the kind of problem that shouldn't be a problem. [PageSix]
  
• CSI hottie Gary Dourdan kicked a paparazzo's ass. [Rush&Molloy]
  
• Suge Knight bit Entourage star Kevin Connolly. Maybe you didn't get that the first time, so here it is again: Suge Knight bit Entourage star Kevin Connolly. [Gatecrasher]

• Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall no longer hate each other. [Gatecrasher, 2nd item]
• Ooh, blind item! "Which tipsy but beloved New York actor staggered downstairs to the Cellar Bar in the Bryant Park Hotel Tuesday night, boozily declared to the staff, 'I'm ready to party!' and then disappeared?" Any guesses? [Gatecrasher, last item]
• Did Diddy develop dengue fever in Africa? [E!]
• Nick Nolte is a mess. Also? Sky is blue. [TMZ]
• Britney was driving down the Pacific Coast highway and decided she wanted a dip in the ocean. So, naturally, she took off her clothes and went "swimming" in her bra and panties. Cute bra! [Flynet]
• Kylie Minogue and Olivier Martinez are back together! [UW]
• Did Amy Winehouse spit at fans? [DailyMail]
• Remember how Paris Hilton said that now that she's out of jail, she wants to do charity work? It's started! The work consists of surfing with her dog, who, by the by, has a matching leopard swimsuit. [TheSun]