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Nick Cannon

Loose Lips The townspeople of Nice, France aren't too thrilled with all the attention the Brangelina twins are receiving. There have been protests outside the hospital where Knox and Vivienne Jolie-Pitt were born because they "Claim the Mayor of Nice has been spending his time waving the kids' birth certificates and kissing the butts of American movie stars [rather] than addressing the case of a local murder victim." • Helen Mirren: 63 and still foxy in a bikini. • Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are vacationing at Disney World. Considering her love for all things Hello Kitty, we're not really surprised that she chooses to spend her days off with famous cartoon characters. [TMZ, Dlisted, Just Jared]

dirt bag

Posh Spice In Plane Panic!

  • Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham was on a plane with kids Romeo and Cruz when a bird flew into one the of the aircraft's engines right before take-off. According to The Sun, "Passengers screamed as the pilot slammed on the brakes and the plane screeched to a halt. It was then that the horrifying scale of the disaster really hit home for Victoria — she realised she was wearing standard-issue aircraft pyjamas and no make-up." [The Sun]
  • Amy Winehouse hit her own damn bodyguard. Get a grip, girl! [The Sun]
  • And here's a man who says Amy Winehouse punched him in the face three times at a pub. Is this new news? It's so hard to tell. [The Sun]
  • Jamie Lynn Spears and new baby! Picture! [ONTD, via OK!]
  • Is Mary-Kate Olsen heading back to rehab? Midweek Madness will have more on this later. [Star]
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dirt bag

Madonna & Guy: Staying Married After All?

  • Madonna speaks! "My husband and I are not planning on getting a divorce. I know Alex Rodriguez through Guy Oseary, who manages both of us. I brought my kids to a Yankee game. I am not romantically involved in any way with Alex Rodriguez. I have nothing to do with the state of his marriage or what spiritual path he may choose to study." [People]
  • And yet! Alex Rodriguez's wife has left him. A source says: "The embarrassment over Madonna was the last straw. She flew to Paris to get out of town before everything blew up between them. There is no affair with Lenny Kravitz. They are good friends." [People]
  • This report says Guy Ritchie wants the marriage to work for Rocco's sake. Apparently he loves Rocco "the most." A source says: "He absolutely adores Lourdes and David and has always treated them as if they were his own. But Rocco is Guy's flesh and blood." [Sunday Mirrror]
  • Madonna's brother's book says Madge kissed Gwyneth Paltrow on the lips at a Donatella Versace party, which, frankly, is not so shocking. [The Sun]
  • Model Lily Cole and Jude Law: It's on. And she spent the night. [Mirror]
  • By the by! Jude is 35 and Lily is 20. [ONTD]
  • Christina Applegate's boyfriend, Lee Grivas, was found dead in his apartment last week. The 26-year-old had a history of drug abuse. [Fox News]
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midweek madness

This Week In Tabloids: Why Barack Loves Michelle; Angelina Is Anxious Or Adopting

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, where we parse tabloid punditry so you don't have to. This week marked a slight departure in tabloid fare, as Us featured potential President and First Lady Barack and Michelle Obama on the cover. Don't let it throw you; the other tabloids covered all the usual players, with In Touch, Ok! and Star devoted to Brangelina's baby farm and Life & Style hot on the Britney beat. Come with us as we tell tall tales of tabloid trauma, after the jump. More »

yearning japanese

Dear Japan: Mariah Carey Is Kinda Foreign To Us, Too


Does anyone around here speak Japanese!? Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon went to Japan, presumably to promote her album E=MC², and she threw out the first pitch at a baseball game (that made it about 18 inches before it hit the ground), shopped with a TV host, and then had a Q&A sesh with fans. It's all in the clip above, and it's so very awesome, because these TV hosts are narrating the whole thing in Japanese, and even though we don't really know what they're saying, the international language of mockery is understood by all. (The entire segment can be viewed here.) It's clear that during most of her shopping trip with one of the hosts, Mariah doesn't really have a clue what he is saying, so she just responds by giggling, saying stuff like, "Pretty" and talking about her favorite colors. We'd kill to know what the TV host asks Nick Cannon, because he looks confused and answers, "We're married. We're supposed to." Clip above.
Mariah Carey in Tokyo, Japan [YouTube]

dirt bag

Ellen & Portia: So Happy, So Gay, So Getting Married

  • Ellen DeGeneres is so psyched about the California Supreme Court ruling regarding gay marriage that she's gonna get hitched to longtime love Portia de Rossi. Woohoo! It would be kind of awesome if they did it on TV. And then danced! [TMZ]
  • Pregnant Angelina Jolie will be looking "sexy" on the July cover of Vanity Fair; she was shot by Patrick Demarchelier. Wonder if he'll have her Photoshopped? [Page Six]
  • Click here if you need info on Angelina's tattoos. [Sydney Morning Herald]
  • Angelina will probably give birth in France, FYI. [USA Today]
  • Angelina's dad Jon Voight is all riled up over Israel: "God gave this land to the Jewish people; they shouldn't be giving it away," he says. But, um, Voight is not Jewish. [Mirror]
  • "If I punched every bitch who called me fat, it would be dead bitches all up and down the highway." — Star Jones. [Page Six]
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the matrimony of mimi

Mr. and Mrs. Carey-Cannon Celebrate Their Rollercoaster Love Story At Six Flags

The Entertainment Tonight crew were the only press allowed access to the surprise pink and purple, butterfly-themed wedding party that Nick Cannon threw for his bride Mariah Carey at Six Flags Magic Mountain. Of course, they're spreading the footage over four days, which is annoying, but above is the first installment. Mariah says, "I"m not big on surprises, but this is a smash hit." She's not big on surprises? She sure surprised the hell out of us with her out-of-the-blue wedding to her child groom!

Loose Lips Mariah's new hubby Nick Cannon was spotted shopping for laxatives. The constipation of Mimi! • Good news for Amy Winehouse! The addled singer won't be charged with a crime, even though Scotland Yard arrested her on suspicion of drugs charges last week because they allegedly saw a video of her smoking crack. • Us has a post up where people can label Jennifer Aniston/ John Mayer pairing with a neologism. Suggestions so far include, Johnnifer, Mayston, and my personal fave, Animay! [TMZ, Mirror, Us]

dirt bag

Jessica & Tony Split; Joel Parties With Lindsay While Nicole Babysits

  • Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo: Dunzo! [TMZ]
  • OMG. Was Joel Madden flirting with Lindsay Lohan? Apparently Nicole Richie was home with the baby and Joel was out when Paris Hilton sent Nic a text: "Lindsay was all over Joel!" Nicole tried calling and Joel didn't pick up. Is this how it's gonna be? [Star]
  • Lindsay Lohan's father thinks someone is supplying LL with drugs and Janet Charlton has posted a picture of LL with Samantha Ronson with the words, "Michael, the answer could be right under your nose - or better still, Lindsay's nose." [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
  • Is Mariah Carey pregnant? Apparently someone from her camp called famed L.A. baby boutique Petit Trésor and asked about (wait for it...) butterflies. [Rush & Molloy]
  • Mariah and new hubby Nick rented out Six Flags Magic Mountain last night so they could have a wedding celebration with their homies. Roller coasters? Just like MC's "Fantasy" video. Which came out in 1995. When Mariah was 25. And Nick Cannon was 15. Not that it matters. [TMZ]
  • Oh, wait: Nick had the theme park shut down as a surprise for Mariah. That is sweet. These two just might melt your cold cold heart. [ET]
  • John Mayer had a show in Orlando last night and totally kissed Jennifer Aniston backstage between songs. [People]
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Loose Lips Drew Barrymore was the victim of a hit and run accident yesterday in LA, but plucky Drew was quick enough to note the driver's license plate number. So busted. • Mariah Carey said that Nick Cannon was the one who popped the question. "I would never propose to someone," the diva said on Ellen. Next on the couples' agenda: babies. • Minnie Driver wants to try natural childbirth with her new bebe. "She's thinking about using a birthing pool and has been speaking about all the different places that it could go in her house," according to a "source." All I can think of is slip n' slide right now. [TMZ, Us, Celebrity Baby Scoop via Dlisted]


dirt bag

Mischa Barton Fights The Battle Of The (Digitally Enhanced?) Bulge

  • Mischa Barton claims she is a PhotoShop Of Horrors victim: A new batch of paparazzi beach shots showed her legs riddled with cellulite. "Those photos are doctored," Barton's rep, Lisa Perkins, says. "I'm not saying she's perfect, nobody is. But they've given a 22-year-old woman the legs and bottom of an 80-year-old." The pix were taken by the dude she's pissed at for snapping topless shots; the same one who ran Nicole Kidman off of the road. [Rush & Molloy]
  • You can see the pictures here, with a regular paparazzi shot as well. Photoshop? [Daily Mail]
  • Apparently Mariah Carey wanted a $3 million wedding with doves and orchids and Nick Cannon wanted to get married ASAP with no fuss. Mariah agreed because, as she has said, "We really do feel we are soulmates. I never felt a love like this was in the cards for me." Aww, that should be sweet but somehow it's fucking annoying. [Mirror]
  • Lindsay Lohan: Seen doing shots of tequila with Lauren Conrad! LL turned her back so no one would see; unfortunately she was facing a window and the whole bar could see her reflection. Whoops! [Rush & Molloy]
  • Meanwhile: You know how Lindsay had finally gotten a movie role? In that Manson Girls flick? Well she's been kicked off of the project. Producers "discovered that they couldn't find any name actresses who wanted to co-star with her," says Nikki Finke. [Deadline Hollywood via ONTD]
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Loose Lips A Wall Street Journal reporter was on the jury for the Uma Thurman stalker trial, and she wrote all about it. Sort of like 12 Angry Men, if that movie had included a Wife Swap editor and a "rock-show caterer." • Masha Markova, the fur-coat wearing victim of Lindsay Lohan's sticky fingers, was asked what she thinks LiLo's punishment should be. "She needs to go in the middle of the winter to Kazakhstan and milk goats for 2 weeks!" Markova told the Insider in an interview to air tonight. Markova then added, "Lindsay, keep partying!" • Mariah Carey wedding photo is here! Mariah looks...sedated, and new hubs Nick Cannon looks delirious. We want whatever they're on! [WSJ, Insider, People]

clips

Mariah Carey "Bye Bye" Video May Include Footage From Her Wedding To Nick Cannon

The video for Mariah Carey's new single "Bye Bye" is out now, and her husband Nick Cannon makes a cameo in what possibly could be a home movie from the couple's elopement to the Bahamas last Wednesday. The whole video looks like it was slapped together over the weekend, made up of footage of Mariah's promotional tour for her perfume, her recent performance at The Hills premiere party, her Bahamian jaunt, pictures of her and dead people/pets, and some spliced-in shots of her singing on her couch and in an empty room. Clip above, and after the jump, shots of the newlyweds on their honeymoon? More »

Loose Lips Sarah Silverman says that though she and Jimmy Kimmel "have it good," she's not looking to get hitched. "I don't want the government involved in our love," Silverman told People. She also added, "I might adopt, but we're going to wait. If you're going to have kids, you need to have time to give them undivided attention." • Steroid-happy former MLB star Jose Canseco had his California mansion foreclosed on. According to TMZ, "In an interview this week, Canseco blamed his financial woes on a couple of divorces and the fact that after taxes, he was really only living on $17 or $18 million." Oh that's all! I can't believe he had to give up his diamond-encrusted bidet. • Cannon/Carey nuptials: confirmed by Nick's family!! Relative Linda Cannon told Us, "Yes, we know. He called us and told us all about it. We are happy for him. If that is what he wants, then we are happy for him." Who wants to start the divorce poll? [People, TMZ, Us]

dirt bag

Barbara Walters Talks Shit About Former View Co-Hosts

  • In her new memoir, Auditions, Baba Wawa gives the dirt on Star Jones' and Rosie O'Donnell's departures from the View; On Rosie: "The premise of 'The View' is that of a team working together, but for Rosie it was more like Diana Ross and the Supremes, as little by little she took over." [NYDN]
  • The problem with Miss Jones was not just her diva behavior (though Walters et. al. were embarrassed about her fiasco of a wedding to Big Gay Al) it was that Star made her View-mates lie about her gastric bypass. Walters writes: "Joy [Behar], in particular, resented having to go along with a lie that implied all one needed to do was situps and ingest one cookie instead of two."[NYDN]
  • The septuagenarian Babs is so scandalous! She also talks about her adulterous affair with Massachusetts Senator Edward Brooke, the first black Senator since reconstruction. [NYDN]
  • Jimi Hendrix's sex tape? A hoax, cries the company that owns the rights to Jimi's music. Sigh. We'll always have Cynthia Plaster Caster. [Reuters]
  • Marilyn Monroe's sex tape? The FBI cries fake! It's amazing how many stars can issue denials from the grave. [MSNBC]
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Loose Lips Sheryl Lowe, Rob's wife, is speaking out against a slew of allegations from the couples' former nannies. "The charges against me are lies meant to embarrass and humiliate. I find it deeply offensive the false allegation that I would use racially insensitive comments. I'm certain that my dearest and longtime friend, and godfather to my children, Marcus Allen would beg to differ with their charges." Omg she totally used the my best friend is black defense. • Girls Gone Wild jerkface Joe Francis has been cleared of sexual battery charges in Los Angeles. Blerg. • Mariah Carey's nephew, Shawn McDonald, left a "cryptic message" on his Facebook page that is possibly about the Carey/Nick Cannon nuptials. "Shawn can officially say that what you may or may not have read or heard is not true..." Uh, ok then! [The Insider, TMZ, Us]

The Matrimony Of Mimi Mariah Carey isn't just engaged — she's married! Latina magazine is reporting that they have confirmation that Mariah and Nick Cannon had a "very impulsive" wedding on an island on Wednesday, attended by a few close friends of the couple, one of them being Da Brat. It is the second marriage for the 38-year-old bride, and the first for her 27-year-old groom. Congrats! [Latina via Perez]