@katastic: Obviously, the best place to stay is in the Waldorf-Astoria's invisible "Cloud Castle," which floats above the Hudson river. The room service is a little on the slow side, but where else can you find fantasy castle residency for less than the cost of your entire brain?
@braak: Well, I have 200 dollars in the bank, and my student loans add up to about 25,000 dollars. So my brain, financially speaking, is worth approximately -$24,480. That room better be cheap.
@braak: If genius consists of 30% intentions to blow up government buildings, 20% theats against small rodents, 20% self-aggrandizement, 10% grandiose theories on theatre, 5% Brechtian philosophy, and 15% beard vs. no beard related decision-making, then yes! "Genius".* *Also floating around in that scary little quagmire: some trivia about swords.
Holy hell, she actually used the phrase "saddlebags and post-pregnancy Shar Pei-like stomach." For the love of god, I feel like eating half a cheesecake just to spite her.
Mmmmmm, cheesecake...almost as delicious as another hit of negative energy...
@Red-headed bookworm: Nevermind, I found it now. Yuck...but...it is from a doctor. People trust doctors. And the rest of her detox diet actually sounds quite tasty.
Hey guys! I've decided to make my very own newsletter! I'm going to call it "Big Happy Sandwiches" and it will detail my special diet suggestions and random musings. Here's an example.
I find that when you feel a hunger sensation, the best thing to do is go and stare into the refrigerator, thereby gleaning potential meal ideas and gaining valuable insight into what you actually feel like having. After you've ascertained your current food desire, you have two options. One. If you have the items necessary to allay your appetite, commence. If not, here's option Two. Go to the menu drawer, peruse the offerings on the pertinent menu, and make your selection. Then, find your phone-device. Dial the number listed on the menu and communicate your sustenance needs to the individual who answers your call. Wait patiently. Meditate upon your impending nosh. When at last your doorbell rings, go to the door and open it. Accept the items being proffered you by the delivery person. Hand the delivery person the proper amount of currency and accept your change. Close the door and take your seat. Remove the food items from their respective containers and begin eating. Continue eating until you are either sated or completely stuffed, whichever you prefer. Once finished, go and smoke a cigarette. And voila! Nourishment for body and mind is not as difficult as you may have originally expected! Go forth and enjoy!
@aubonpam: Me too! It's kind of sad. She seems like a brittle, scared person, obsessing over that stuff and then sending an email out about it. There are more positive motivations for exercise, like heath and energy and feeling good physically!
@aubonpam: I seriously think she's just an unhappy person. imagine having all that she has and still being constantly obsessed with your appearance, its like a cruel joke.
@bklyn155: I agree it is kind of sad how she seems to obsess SO much. She has always been like this and I think she has eating issues.
I don't care that she does her workouts for her ass though and not heath and energy and feeling good physically. I can relate to that. I hate exercise. The only reason I run on a treadmill like a gerbil or do yoga is to fit into my jeans.
So the trainer is Tracy Anderson, she used to live and work here in Indianapolis. She declared bankruptcy a few times, she left town and took all this money from her clients and now is a trainer to the stars. Weird. [www.indianapolismonthly.com]
@marybanjo: In a recent interview (which Jez linked to) she talked about how being a dancer gave her terrible habits and body image but how she's much better since inventing her own pilates-varient..... Then the article went on to say that she advocates exercising hard 6 days a week, not eating dairy, no alcohol, being "strict with yourself" if you're trying to lose weight and other things which reminded me of A PERSON WITH AN EATING DISORDER!
Y'know, usually, when someone is complimenting my cooking, they are not thinking about how awful my ass looks. I am not thinking about how awful my ass looks. Because we are chowing down on curry or spaghetti or grilled cheese together, and we are enjoying the brief respite from everyday existence that a good meal can provide.
I'm tired of constant suggestions from the media and from castor-oil-addled celebrities that I'm not good enough. It's fucking exhausting enough to bust my ass to pay my rent and be out of the house for 12-13 hours a day and not even be able to to find clothes because everything that is "haute couture" is sized for teenaged Jack Russell terriers and I'm a Sasquatch. I will never not be a Sasquatch, Gwyneth, no matter how much castor oil and organic escarole and extract of rainbow starlight I consume. I will never be able to care about your unicorn earth mother exercise routine or your mid-century sink. At this rate I'm lucky if I'll ever be able to own an actual sink.
I'm getting my hit of negative energy. Mmmm. Don't mind me.
@tscheese: I had to wait two months to fix the hole in my shoe so that I'd be able to afford Christmas presents this year. I will never be able to afford $50 cashmere socks.
I'm going to completely change the shape of my butt to resemble the head of Elvis. I'm totally motivated by the fame it is sure to bring me. People will flock from thousands of miles away to see my Elvis shaped ass.
01/08/09
01/08/09
as does hypocrisy
which means this particular post covers both
01/08/09
01/08/09
01/08/09
"Next week we get the GOOP guide to the best places to eat and stay in NYC."
01/08/09
01/08/09
That room better be cheap.
01/08/09
01/08/09
01/08/09
Because it is full of genius.
01/08/09
*Also floating around in that scary little quagmire: some trivia about swords.
01/08/09
Though, in fact, it's more like 20% intentions to blow things up, and 30% self-aggrandizement.
01/08/09
Mmmmmm, cheesecake...almost as delicious as another hit of negative energy...
01/08/09
01/08/09
01/08/09
01/08/09
01/08/09
01/08/09
01/08/09
Here's an example.
I find that when you feel a hunger sensation, the best thing to do is go and stare into the refrigerator, thereby gleaning potential meal ideas and gaining valuable insight into what you actually feel like having. After you've ascertained your current food desire, you have two options. One. If you have the items necessary to allay your appetite, commence. If not, here's option Two. Go to the menu drawer, peruse the offerings on the pertinent menu, and make your selection. Then, find your phone-device. Dial the number listed on the menu and communicate your sustenance needs to the individual who answers your call. Wait patiently. Meditate upon your impending nosh. When at last your doorbell rings, go to the door and open it. Accept the items being proffered you by the delivery person. Hand the delivery person the proper amount of currency and accept your change. Close the door and take your seat. Remove the food items from their respective containers and begin eating. Continue eating until you are either sated or completely stuffed, whichever you prefer. Once finished, go and smoke a cigarette. And voila! Nourishment for body and mind is not as difficult as you may have originally expected! Go forth and enjoy!
Peace and enlightenment.
01/08/09
01/08/09
01/08/09
01/08/09
01/08/09
I don't care that she does her workouts for her ass though and not heath and energy and feeling good physically. I can relate to that. I hate exercise. The only reason I run on a treadmill like a gerbil or do yoga is to fit into my jeans.
01/08/09
01/08/09
01/08/09
01/08/09
I'm tired of constant suggestions from the media and from castor-oil-addled celebrities that I'm not good enough. It's fucking exhausting enough to bust my ass to pay my rent and be out of the house for 12-13 hours a day and not even be able to to find clothes because everything that is "haute couture" is sized for teenaged Jack Russell terriers and I'm a Sasquatch. I will never not be a Sasquatch, Gwyneth, no matter how much castor oil and organic escarole and extract of rainbow starlight I consume. I will never be able to care about your unicorn earth mother exercise routine or your mid-century sink. At this rate I'm lucky if I'll ever be able to own an actual sink.
I'm getting my hit of negative energy. Mmmm. Don't mind me.
01/08/09
You and I, we're on the same team!
01/08/09
01/08/09
01/08/09