"You Can Make Me Vampior?"

If the actual movie had been as short and hilarious as LOLNew Moon, I would have enjoyed it a lot more. [Mircosuede]

Not A Twihard? You Can Still Be Team Edward

The James Olmos T-shirt is $20; the Munster one is just a dream… for now available here!!! [Buzzfeed via io9, HijinksEnsue]

Twilight's Hero Is Abusive, Which Makes Him All The More Romantic

If you're familiar with the Twilight universe, you know that Bella and Edward have an unhealthy relationship. A LiveJournal user has detailed fifteen ways, using a list from the National Domestic Violence hotline. Is that why Twilight's so "romantic"? More »

Katie Adds Own Soundtrack To New Moon; Twihard Admits To Lying Over Bite

• Katie Holmes went with a group of her friends to see New Moon in New York. An eyewitness reports: "Katie talked through all of New Moon. It was unbelievable – they talked nonstop about the movie and everything else."

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Random Dude Bites Girl At New Moon Screening

He was not Edward Cullen, or even Robert Pattinson. He was some 45-year-old guy who made "sexual comments," then bit her neck. She's 17 and traumatized. As if you needed another reason to be Team Werewolf. [Cinematical]

Taylor Lautner Breaks Down Three Types Of Twihards

The Buff werewolf has it down to a science: There's the screamer, the crier and the fainter. (He left out the sigher, the huffer, the eyeroller.) Oh, and remember when Taylor was posing wet on the beach? Guess what: More »

New Moon Breaks Records; Amy Proposes To Blake

• 'Sup Twihards? This column alleges Robert Pattinson is a "hot property" thanks to New Moon's record-breaking box office this weekend…

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Fake Your Way Into Twilight Fandom: A Guide To Surviving A Sparkly Vampire World

Well, crew, New Moon has made like 8 kerbillion dollars this weekend (it's actually $140.7 million), which means that the entire world has gone Twilight crazy. Here are some tips for successfully navigating a sparkly vampire-obsessed world. More »

Cool Kids Love New Moon, Too!

R.Patt and K-Stew insulated themselves from the ravening opening-night hordes with a scenester posse at NYC's Landmark's Sunshine Cinema: It would seem Agyness Deyn, Natalie Portman and the entire cast of Gossip Girl are all Twi-Hards. Down to the costumes! More »

Amy's Implants Are Leaking; Mariah Is Demanding Kittens

• Amy Winehouse was supposedly in the hospital because she was sick, but now her dad says:

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Nicole Richie Hospitalized; Polanski Hearing May Be Televised

• Nicole Richie has been complaining that she doesn't feel well for days, and now she's been hospitalized at Cedars-Sinai for pneumonia. Her rep says she's "doing well."

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Kristen Meets Rob's Parents; Levi Talks About His "Alaskan Pipeline"

• Robert Pattinson took Kristen Stewart to a "secret" dinner with his parents. So secret that this Britloid knows about it!

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Gothic Horror At The Twilight Saga: New Moon Premiere

You could not doubt the commitment to sparkle motion of anyone at the Los Angeles premiere of New Moon. We could barely see the vampires, werewolves, Joan Jett and many stars for all the blinding sequins of the assembled company... More »

Nicole Takes On The Paparazzi; Sparkle Vamp Is Sexiest Man Alive

• Nicole Richie has obtained a restraining order, preventing two celebrity photographers from coming close to her or her kids.

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What Do People Want From Stephenie Meyer?

Twilight author Stephenie Meyer recently found herself in the spotlight after appearing on Oprah to help promote the upcoming film based on her novel New Moon. But Meyer otherwise chooses to live a very private life. What's wrong with that? More »

"Do You Want To Know A Secret?"

[Munich, November 14. Image via WENN.]