A few months ago, I met my boyfriend on JDate, a dating site for Jewish singles. He assumed I was Jewish, and I didn’t correct him when I had the chance. Now I’m afraid that if I tell him, he’s going to dump me. What do I do? I really like this guy, but it’s getting weird.
Look, I know that lying in an online dating profile is practically de rigeur these days — just ask either of my exes that posted profiles in singles sites while we were still dating — but that doesn't make it the right thing to do. What are you actually there looking to do? Are you looking to find someone who likes you for you, or for someone you can lie to long enough that he'll be so attached by the time he gets to know the actual you that he won't leave even though he'll think you're a liar and might never trust you again? You lied, and you kept lying and of course it's "getting" weird. It started out weird. Accept that he might dump you, accept that you may end up with a profile on TrueDater.com, accept that you have serious issues if you can spend months lying to someone like that, and then suck it up and tell the truth with a measure of contrition and humility. And then get into therapy to try to figure out why you can't trust people to like you for who you are.

My assistant doesn’t do anything for her appearance — no make-up, hair pulled back (and looking greasy) and dumpy clothes. I try to set a good example by being put together. Now that summer is here, she’s wearing open sandals and doesn’t paint her toenails. Her feet look rather unkempt, and I think painted nails pull a look together — especially in summer! How do I have a conversation with her? She wants to move out into the business world in the next year or so, after she completes her M.B.A.
As a woman who rarely wears makeup, has incredibly un-shampoo- commercial-like hair, used to wear dumpy clothes and currently sports a 3-week old chipped pedicure, believe me, you don't have to tell her that's she's not living up to society's expectations that all smart, successful woman are also impeccably dressed, coiffed and manicured. You know what that often requires? Money. Sometimes lots of it. It also requires time and effort that maybe, just maybe, she doesn't have while working for you full-time and trying to complete a graduate degree. Plus, frankly, no one is going to be looking at her toes during a job interview (if for no other reason than she hopefully won't be wearing open-toed shoes).

On the other hand, a lot of younger people can and do benefit from appropriate career advice, from how to interview to how to negotiate on salary to how to move up within an organization. Maybe her grad program has sessions on those things that she's missing while working. Rather than talking to her about what she could do to try to meet your standards of "put-together," you could really mentor her and ask if there are career-training sessions at her college that she's missing and support her in taking the time off to attend them. You could help review her resume, or practice her interview skills, or, best of all, you could find some reason to compliment her appearance just because it would probably brighten her presumably extremely long day.

My friend and I have played tennis together for many years. Lately, I’ve noticed his cheating on line calls. This has been confirmed by others. I haven’t said anything to him for fear of damaging our relationship, but I’m starting to get frustrated that he is winning points at my expense. How do I handle this?
Ask yourself: do you want to keep the friend or win the game? Your friend is immature, hyper-competitive and annoying, but he's your friend. If it's just a friendly game of tennis for the enjoyment of one another's company and a little exercise, why make a point of it? But if it's so important to you that you win, bring it up while you're playing. Maybe he'll concede the line calls, and, presumably, him cheating won't be so much of an issue for either one of you relatively soon.

You’re at someone’s house who starts talking about how wrong gay marriage is. You are gay. What do you do?
I think the first question to ask yourself is how important is it to you that they know (or don't know) that you are gay. If you're trying to stay closeted with this person for whatever reason, you probably already know that getting into a debate on gay marriage — even as a straight person — with someone who thinks that the "wrongness" of gay marriage is an appropriate topic of conversation is going to make that person assume that you are gay. If this has consequences for you that you don't want to face (like, say, if you're in the military and this is your commanding officer), then you need to tread carefully, and changing the subject is probably the way to go.

If, however, you are out and feel as strongly about your side of this issue as he does (and are not concerned for your safety, obviously), then you shouldn't swallow your pride and pretend like it doesn't matter to you. You should, however, recognize that the kind of person who brings this up with strangers isn't going to be convinced of the validity of your point of view or agree with your arguments because he's already closed his mind. The best you can hope for is that he will recognize that there are people who don't agree with him and maybe he should keep his yap shut in the future, and that you won't have to be subjected to his company again.

Social Q's [NY Times]

What exactly is the New York Times' problem? The paper describes young Yves Saint Laurent as a sensitive boy "who avoided all sports but swimming and developed a love for fashion and the theater at an early age...As a teen-ager, he designed clothes for his mother, who had them whipped up by a local seamstress."

In other cliched words: three-dollar bill.

Contrast this with Agence France Press: "A shy lonely child born to a well-off family, he was taunted over his homosexuality."

Ditto the Telegraph: "At school he was beaten up by the other boys for his obvious homosexual leanings. He was so nervous that he was sick every day; he found solace in a land populated by elaborate cut-out paper dolls."

Sometimes The Times is like my mom: in an attempt to avoid anything remotely impolite, or imply that it's not totally cool with his being gay, it just obfuscates to the point of making everyone uncomfortable, and here it succeeds in making his sexuality something tacitly indelicate by implication. (Then it kind of slips his "partner" in as a matter of course later, which somehow makes the whole thing worse.)

Rant over.

Anyway, you obviously don't need me to tell you that YSL was the reigning roi of fashion: wunderkind, visionary, radical, elder statesman — you name it. He single-handedly popularized trousers, trenches and parkas - to say nothing of the iconic smoking - and pushed fashion from couture into ready-to-wear. He was behind essentially every trend of the latter-20th century and defined the template of luxe, casual sexiness to which we still adhere today. Like all the best designers, he seemed to genuinely love women (skeletal muses notwithstanding) and his clothes showed it.

But beyond any of this, he defined the designer as the romantic: a reclusive, Proust-reading, depression-suffering, fabulously wealthy, tortured genius, shadowed by vague tragedy — and a stone-cold bespectacled fox.

Perhaps a lot of the romance that clings to this mysterious figure and other 'icons' of his stripe is the sense of lost possibility. In our world, where we can only hope to 'reference' and 'allude' and recycle with varying degrees of irony and homage, it seems incredible to think of a time when one man could create so much — when there was so much left to be created. Maybe that's why his death makes me extra-sad — it's not like I'm decked out in vintage safari here, after all.

Yves Saint Laurent Funeral Set for Thursday[WWD]
Yves Saint Laurent, Fashion Icon, Dies at 71[New York Times]
Fashion Icon Yves Saint Laurent Dies at 71 [AFP]
Obituary: Yves Saint Laurent [Telegraph]

The trouble with last night's party at the Met, if I may speak frankly, is that it was a little like being sucked into a sequined wind tunnel. It started with a little breeziness before the superhero displays—Oh, hey, Narciso and Claire! Hi Liya! Alessandra! Isaac! Diane! Tom!—and then, suddenly, people seemed to be flying around the room....But I thought Anna Wintour looked great in her Chanel dress—fantastical fashion....And though I didn't see Victoria Beckham until later, in pictures, her lace Armani coat dress was definitely a look—Hollywood grandeur with a wink. Zac Posen and his date Kate Mara, in outfits painfully inspired by Superman, get the try-harder award. I'll be interested to know who you all thought looked super—and not.

One could probably read as many metaphors about the transformative power of fashion in the silver-sequined, elaborately padded Chanel gown that Anna Wintour wore to the Costume Institute gala on Monday night as one could in Superman's cape, which happened to be hanging in a gallery down the hall. The floor-length dress had curiously curling crescents attached at the hips and the shoulders, giving Ms. Wintour, the Vogue editor and overseer of the Metropolitan Museum of Art's annual Party of the Year, the fuller-bodied appearance of Botticelli's Venus on her clamshell. She seemed to be broadcasting a message of total earthly control. (Or it could have been that all the Vogue assistants standing along the way to Ms. Wintour's receiving line had been strictly instructed not to speak to anyone, not even to people they recognized, or that so many guests were unusually prompt.) With this year's gala titled "Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy," Ms. Wintour pointed out that she was Storm, the "X-Men" character. "I control the weather," she said.

Blake Lively wore black gloves and a snug black Ralph Lauren gown involving feathers. She said that her favorite superhero was "Spider-Man. Cause he's awesome! He gets to swing around, and, I don't know....I've always seen pictures growing up, being a teenager, and thought, 'I'd love to go to that, a night just to dress up in ball gowns.' And here I am!"...Vogue editor and hostess Anna Wintour was the first to arrive, at 6:33 p.m., wearing a Chanel gown adorned with what appeared to be seahorse tails and accompanied by daughter Bee Shaffer, who required two men, including the formidable Vogue editor at large André Leon Talley, to carry the train of her voluminous blue Nina Ricci dress up the stairs....Designer Phillip Lim came with teenage model-of-the-moment Chanel Iman,..."I've been here last year, and this is her first time here, so she's the newbie...it's a lot of pressure."

It was a silver moment for Julia Roberts, wearing a swoop-neck dress by Giorgio Armani, who underwrote the event. Her co-chairs were Clooney and Anna Wintour, the editor-in-chief of Vogue, who wore a Superwoman creation by Chanel with snakes of padding at shoulders and thighs. Fashion's superheroes included Donatella Versace, who dressed Janet Jackson in a cut-away back dress, Karl Lagerfeld, wearing a sparkling silver jacket while he dressed Kate Bosworth in a multicolored patchwork of vintage Chanel; and Valentino, who was with the model Claudia Schiffer wearing a frilled blue dress from the retired designer's last collection....The cast of the newly revived "Hair" sang "The Age of Aquarius" and "Let the Sun Shine In." David Bowie, sitting with his wife, Iman, looked pained at this new rendition of the counterculture musical.

[George] Clooney joked that he had wanted to dress as Batman, but the costume was already in the exhibition, so he settled for a midnight blue Giorgio Armani tuxedo. Anna Wintour, shimmering in silver cyber-couture, by Karl Lagerfeld at Chanel, declared: "I stopped the rain"....The tennis star Venus Williams and American Vogue's editor-at-large, André Leon Talley, shared a red satin, super-cape for two that was custom-made by Chanel. The actress Scarlett Johansson wore a Dolce & Gabbana gown with a large diamond solitaire which announced her engagement to the actor, Ryan Reynolds. The designer Marc Jacobs confessed to wearing Superman underwear beneath his tuxedo....The "Superheroes" exhibition opens with a mirrored illusion of Clark Kent morphing into Superman and features radical catwalk creations by some of the world's top designers and comic book costumes from Hollywood blockbusters such as Spiderman and Batman.

It's the Oscars of the fashion industry, but if the looks on parade at Monday's Costume Institute gala in New York were anything to go by, that industry is in a sorry state of disarray. Hosted by Vogue editor Anna Wintour (in a Starlight Express moment, perhaps taking the superhero theme somewhat literally) and Giorgio Armani (looking as buff, relaxed and fashionably weathered as ever) the normally ultra-glamorous event fell flat as the proverbial pancake, where the frocks were concerned at least....how about Katie Holmes, who's clearly sharing a sunbed with her new best friend, Victoria Beckham? Someone really ought to have warned her that tomato red and orange is a challenging colour combination and that her razor-sharp bob is more Playmobil nurse than intergalactic heroine. And what of the aforementioned Mrs Beckham? Even by this particular fashion car crash's standards, her dress was disastrous. Nancy Reagan circa 1985, anyone? That cool-as-a-cucumber chignon, meanwhile, isn't kidding anyone. A Hitchcock heroine the artist formerly known as Posh most certainly is not.

Armani dressed Clooney and Roberts. "He asked me very sweetly if I'd be his date," Roberts, wearing a platinum Giorgio Armani Privé gown, said about the designer, who also outfitted other A-list celebrities, including Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Beyoncé Knowles and John Mayer....Clooney was taking it all in stride. "I get to have a drink. It's easy for me," he said. As for the superhero theme, he said he had a favorite when he was a kid: "Well, you know, I loved one that no one ever talks about, the Green Hornet. He was really cool." [Thandie] Newton, in a short dress in black lace with a long cape, said, "I like this because it's one look — and two looks. She made up her own superhero inspiration. "I'm Love Woman," she said. "I wanted to do a bit of skin."

"I think the secret of a good exhibition is when it happens very easily, which is what happened here," Anna Wintour told us of the Metropolitan Museum's Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy installation. We had many more looks in the exhibition than we could use, so [the idea] is obviously, once you start to look, really out there. It was largely Andrew [Bolton, the exhibition curator]'s vision that brought it all together but we've been very fortunate that at the same time," she added. "All these movies are coming out and the Olympics are coming up, so it all sort of came together."

Holy Stars, Batman! It was a celeb-studded affair at the Metropolitan Museum on Monday night as the world's fashion elite and Hollywood heavyweights met on Fifth Ave. to kick off the Costume Institute's latest exhibit, "Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy." And while the night's theme celebrated cat suits and unitards, the red carpet featured far more glam getups: Co-hosts Julia Roberts and George Clooney giggled together as they strolled in wearing Giorgio Armani. "I wore the dress because he made it for me," said Roberts, who gave the designer, who sponsored the evening with Vogue magazine, a hug....Fashion darling Zac Posen took the theme seriously, rocking out Clark Kent-worthy spectacles and revealing his own secret identity. "I worked here as an intern for three years," he said. "I got paid $60 to do the event."

I spoke with an acquaintance who just graduated from college last May, and is about eight months into her first-ever job. I asked her, now that the stress of the first six months and figuring out the lay of the land, how she likes her work. "I answer the phone and file things," she said. "You don't need a college degree to do what I do. It's stupid that I am in this job." This answer told me nothing about how she enjoyed the nature of her work; whether the field she had chosen to go into was interesting to her, whether she was learning things from those above her, being exposed to a way of thinking or a process she had not encountered before. I knew nothing of how she liked her work, only that she didn't enjoy the process of working. "Maybe I'll become a party-planner," she then said, "That seems fun."

Pink says this is why this generation needs rules, and Belkin herself points out that it's not just the young in need of a little reality slap, but their parents, noting how she received a letter from a reader who "described her daughter, who will be graduating from college next month, as paralyzed by the fear that whatever job she takes would not be her passion and would therefore be wrong. "How can I help her find her life's calling?" the mother wondered." I will save Lisa Belkin the time of answering this one: Dear Mama and Daughter, Chillax.

There is no perfect job. As my dad has always told me, as long as your work is not immoral, unethical, or illegal — well, then it's good work. Sure, hopefully you find it interesting, but there is no make-believe land where you are rewarded daily with gold stars, and championed for your "passion" for merely showing up and breathing air. But if you work hard and at the end of the day can be proud of what you did — well then, you done good.

Prepping Children for the 9 to 5 [New York Times]

The story is filled with such divine specimens of shameless self-importance as "I just thought Rand was a hilariously bad writer, and past a certain point I couldn't hide my amusement," and "life-changing experiences are a tedious conversational topic at best" and "Manhattan dating is a highly competitive, ruthlessly selective sport," and "If there existed a more hackneyed, achingly obvious method of telegraphing one's education, literary standards and general intelligence, I couldn't imagine it" — that's in reference to carrying around Samuel Beckett's Proust.

I don't have a lot of books. I tend to leave them places, like my parents' attic, and what books I do have are usually an accident of some story I was writing. But the last time I had sex the guy happened to find Beckett's Three Novels in my room. This is perhaps the only highbrow book currently in my possession. Inspired by the Times story, I began reading The Unnamable at Starbucks. It pretty much immediately reminded me of the woman who sat on the toilet for two years. I started writing a story from her perspective, keeping myself amused by the absurdity, and the novelty — and imagining the slow process by which skin and toilet seat become one amid the whirring of the blenders — when suddenly I realized the man with the laptop next to me was watching porn. A white girl, blowing a black dick the width of my wrist. He watched for hours, motionless, chuckling softly to himself. Who watches porn without jerking off? Was he some sort of critic? Isn't it supposed to be "irredeemable"?

Okay, so the point is, there is no point. The rest of the stories in Sunday's Times are worth noting: the image on the front page was of a Zimbabwean man slipping underneath barbed wire in an attempt to escape the Mugabe regime for an incrementally-less miserable life in neighboring South Africa, story A6. To the right are two stories discussing the ramifications of colonialists inadvertently favoring elite ethnic minorities for positions of power over large and angry ethnic majorities. (War!) To the left, a story about the new regulations being proposed to prevent the greed and hubris of market arbitrageurs from again sending the economy hurtling toward destruction. To the bottom, a story filed from one of those lower-middle class towns (Florida) where said greed and hubris has resulted in everyone losing their houses; bottom right, Venezuela aiding FARC. Inside, Julia Allison moved into a small apartment.

But "It's Not You, It's Your Books" was, inexplicably, the Most Emailed. I blame the credit crunch. Soon, New Yorkers are going to need things, things that are not art or fashion or restaurant reservations or real estate, with which to differentiate ourselves from and inspire insecurity within others. So: books. Sadly, I had not read many of the books referenced — positively or negatively — mentioned in the piece. But in the spirit of self-improvement and mockery I am going to start. Over the next few days I'll try to sprinkle this blog with analysis of some of the great works of literature referenced within the piece. Should we start with Ada?

It's Not Me, It's Your Books [NY Times]

Her determination about this endeavor, and the obvious joy she took in the knockoff Bottega's acquisition, quite disturbed a pretty friend of mine who was also on the press trip. It was so shallow! But fast forward two years, and said pretty friend shows up to meet me toting...a Bottega Veneta! What happened? Below, an exclusive interview with said friend as to how she learned to stop worrying and love conspicuous consumption.

MOE: You! I have to consult you about something. And that something is...your handbag.
  Your anonymity will be closely guarded.
 
PRETTYFRIEND: um, ok. go

MOE: Is it Bottega?

PRETTYFRIEND: ha! i'm glad you think that. i got it for $20 off the street before i went to barcelona in the fall. hahahahaha!
take that [PUBLICIST] "hong kkong" [PUBLICIST]

MOE: The thing that's so funny about this story is how it's like, "Bottega is all about understated logo free design."
And I'm thinking, if it gets knocked off, it is a fucking logo.

PRETTYFRIEND: "Instead of buying a $1,500 handbag that may be indistinguishable from versions selling for one tenth of the price, they may part with several thousand dollars for a piece that looks durable and worth the splurge."
ha!

MOE: I just don't understand, after a certain age, why you would buy something so that...people would know you spent a lot of money on it.

PRETTYFRIEND: isn't that mostly with the upwardly mobile middle class? like the black guy that has to get rims on his car because he lives in a neighborhood where that is necessary blah blah blah
with women, it's mostly handbags, shoes and sun glasses. god, sunglasses. when did they start selling for $600?

MOE: oh. my. god. serioulsy.
  SUNGLASSES
  THAT IS A POST.
  WTF SUNGLASSES?

PRETTYFRIEND: that is DEFINITELY a post
 
MOE: THE MARGIN ON SUNGLASSES MUST BE LIKE 99.999999%
 
PRETTYFRIEND: because even the cheap-o brands have their names on teh side so you immediately know NOT GUCCI

MOE: ok but here's the thing, the people who get rims are usually not middle class ...they are more like...what became of the middle class.

PRETTYFRIEND: true. maybe a better example are women and ridiculous shoes. i mean to a certain extent a black patent leather pump is just a black patent leather pump, right? unless it's a christian loubitan and then it's an $800 pump which also happens to have a read sole
  red sole

MOE: Right, but why do middle and upper-middle class educated professional women fall prey to the same silly forces we associate with the rims-weilding lumpen?
  rims-rolling, excuse me.
  And all this shit starts with the plutocracy anyway.
I suppose Toqueville could answer that. sigh american exceptionslism long sigh

PRETTYFRIEND: wait, i have to run. but i just want to say that i do own ridiculous shoes — and not just because one of my lesbian friends works at saks and could get me a 65% discount. i own them because i am in a group of friends where everyone owns them
  and they make my calves look fecking fantastic
and yes, when i get too drunk i start smoking
i am that girl
sigh

MOE: i love you

You'll Know How Much You Spent [NY Times]

Personally, I was weird, and shy, and ADD, and got good grades. I was the type of kid whose sixth birthday wish was that there would be no gravity. I was a fucking leper until...I got my braces out? Something like that. I've blacked it out, obviously.

It's a weird thing, being that kid who would do anything, anything, to trade places with anyone just one measly rank higher on the social totem pole, or the inconspicuousness pole. Time passes so slowly when you're a kid it's hard to fathom life after childhood; you're so much closer to innocence, to that kinder, more just womb of unconditional parental love that it's almost easier to conceive of the Afterlife than any Life After at that age, and so you cope and hold out and grow up and assume you were bullied so you would understand, so you would have empathy for others, so you would grow into the lovable misanthrope you turned out to be, so you would discover Dinosaur Jr., whatever.

Somewhere you forget kids are still getting bullied, that you boiled over with a rage you didn't know you still had when you saw that girl who mocked you every day in religion class — fucking religion class!? — at the reunion, and she's got a baby now, maybe they'll be bullies too; you should have gone and told her off but for the fact that she was posing for MySpace photos, admirably maintained backside turned toward the camera, with all those people she still hangs out with...and anyway you learned long ago to turn the other cheek as a life philosophy, not a weakness. That from alienation could come...if not exactly triumph, a pretty easy "A" on the big Kafka paper sophomore year. Etc. etc. etc. Etc. etc. etc. it's not about you, really. Have you learned nothing from the bullying? You still haven't answered any questions for your people.

Why do kids bully? And what of those precious kids who, for whatever reason, don't participate in the bullying? Who befriend the meek and the bullied from a place of social dominance? What are those kids smoking? Because the world needs more of that.

A Boy The Bullies Love To Beat Up, Repeatedly [NY Times]

MOE: Soooooo
MEGAN: Is it grosser, do you think, to watch Gene Simmons bone a bimbo or to think about John McCain bumping uglies with a lobbyist?
  Because, really, for me that is the question of the day.
MOE: My question is, is this what he was talking about when Obama said that thing about how John McCain was a good man who had kept company with the WRONG PEOPLE? Is this Huckabee's "miracle"? Is Vicki Iseman the MOTHER OF MCCAIN'S ILLEGITIMATE BLACK CHILD?
It was easier for me knowing that it was like eight years ago or something. I can't say why that was easier, it just was.
 MEGAN: If Vicki Iseman is the mother of McCain's dirty little secret, I may have to call my shit closed for business for a couple of months until that image is banished from my mind.
Also, I love how his staffers told her to fuck off, and she considered to tell everyone what great ties she had to his office.
Typical bullshit consulting company lobbyist.
McCain's giving a news conference about it later this morning.
 MOE: O yay! Didn't we look up Iseman's name before?
Or didn't we. I forget December.
 MEGAN: Please let him say "I did not have sexual relations with this women."
Please.
  Pretty please.
  
I've been a really, really good girl this year. Sort of.
Well, I looked into it in December, but didn't realize it was a 10 year old story, so I didn't see her picture until then, but, whoo-boy did I see it several times in the Wonkette tips line after that.
Also, the pic the news is using of her in the formal dress makes her totally resemble Cindy McCain more than the profile on her company's website.
MOE: No, you know where she resembles Cindy MCain is this photo with Bush
MEGAN: You know you've trolled the minor corners of the internet too many times when you've seen that story more than once.
MOE: But yeah, her haircut in that pic is soooooo Cindy '00
MEGAN: Totally! Also, expert judgement is required... is she wearing a belly chain?
Press conference time! Cindy's by his side.

MOE: No! But wow, she looks pretty good. Um, soooo John Weaver went on the record with the Post saying HE was the one who told Vicki to "go away."
He also emailed the Times.
 MEGAN: Yeah, I saw that. Also, McCain says he's proud of his service, and he didn't do any favors for any lobbyists. He's "disappointed" by the New York Times piece
  He just characterized their relationship as "friends" for Washington.
MOE: Is he the source of this whole thing? Not for shoddy payment I guess!
 
MEGAN: Which means you know virtually nothing about one another outside of work and don't see each other outside of work functions like receptions and stuff.
MOE: He's all squinty.
Hahahaha he's smirking!
 
MEGAN: Those bad spots keep going on and off.
Cindy's suit is cute.
 MOE: I know!
I HATE her outfits.
But this one is nice
MEGAN: Also, I'd like my eyebrows to look like hers. I have shitty eyebrows.
MOE: So John Weaver is indeed the same strategist who approached Tom Daschle about how his boss might leave his party. 
MEGAN: Also, can you imagine telling your boss to stop boning someone?

MEGAN: I call shenanigans on that part of the story.
MOE: Here's another thing: is this why Mark McKinnon said he'd quit the McCain campaign if it meant running against Obama? Because if there's one sleazy tactic Team Clinton can't really employ effectively, it's the whole "HA HA HA HE'S SUCH A HORNY OLD GOAT HIS ADVISERS NEEDED TO SHOO OFF THAT TELECOM LOBBYIST" ...Which sucks and is a double standard since Hillary didn't cheat, but whatevs.
  
Well, that was over fast!
It's almost like he wanted to get out of there!
MEGAN: That spotlight stage right was annoying.
 
MOE: Here's another question: does it make it better that she looks soooooooo much like Cindy?
  
Like at that age, he might have just confused the two?
 
MEGAN: I have been wondering that all night, actually. The resemblance is a little freaky.
I dunno, I guess if my husband was going to cheat I would like to think it would be for something he wasn't getting at home (besides the sex, which he would most certainly be getting at home).
On the other hand, would that make me more insecure? Like, would he always be boning a younger version of me?
MOE: Well Vicky is not that much younger than Cindy. And McCain just said that he never talked to John Weaver about his relationship w. Vicky. (Is that true or do you make sure not to have that conversation if you suspect something is going on?)
MEGAN: I am just saying, I cannot imagine asking my boss, a Senator, if he is boning some chick and to stop it. Perhaps this is why I don't work on the Hill.
 
MOE: Because the whole story is so weird, it's just kinda hard to buy. She looks too much like Cindy, and she sounds annoying and clingy. Oh no is that woman hating of me?
MEGAN: But, for my part, when I "turned" up at an event at a Congressman's invite (when I was a lobbyist) not realizing said Member's predelictions, his staff didn't say a word to me, or to him... they just made sure I was seated as far away from him as possible and that he didn't have time to talk to me.
But, yes, I mean, everything the NYT is reporting is totally how shit works in DC. If you're trying to build a relationship with an office, you show up at every event you can, you make nice, etc. Maybe she had a crush, maybe they were boning, but on the surface the behavior, while slightly annoying, isn't outside the norm. Dudes who work for firms like that (mostly earmarks) also fixate on a Member because you only really need one.
But she's a woman, so obviously there was something else going on (and maybe there was), because, of course, she couldn't just be trying to do her job.
  (I might be projecting here, but, still).
MOE: And the fact that the Wash Post had a story ready as soon as the NYT put its own story on the web is also weird. Like there MIGHT have been something going on, but...eh...1999?
MEGAN: Well, everyone was working on it as soon as it got linked to Drudge in December, and, as I said, I got a bunch of tips that it was her once I wrote my piece, so the rumors on the Hill, they wuz a-flying.
Is it funny that CNN is currently running a commercial for the NYT?
MOE: They run that fucking commercial every fucking second. Here's a question: do you think there was any encouragement at all from the Obama campaign to run this story? A few days ago Gail Collins wrote that Barack Obama INSISTS on referring to McCain as a "military hero, in tones that suggest the conflict in question was the Spanish Civil War." Things are icy between them. But are they truly that icy or does McCain just not talk to rookies? Further, isn't it nice to have something to talk about that ISN'T Michelle Obama's patriotism?
MEGAN: See, given that this story was around in December, I'm guessing it was initially a right-wing hit job
 MOE: Oh yeah and that George Will column you sent me points out that "only" 12 of today's senators have been elected to no other office. Only? Jesus Christ. It's the fucking house of lords.
Oh it was DEFINITELY initially a right wing hit job.
MEGAN: I was laughing at that, like, it sort of possibly puts Hillary in good company.
MOE: I bet the Romney campaign flung it around. I bet that's one of the reasons (aside from sheer spite of course!) McCain so hated Romney.
 
MEGAN: God knows Giuliani didn't, what with pot, kettle, dark colors, etc
but i don't see as how either Obama or Clinton would've been able to get the NYT enough corroborating evidence in the meantime to allow them to feel safe publishing it
MOE: Nah I don't see the Obama campaign as having any corroborating evidence, and why would Clinton even bother.
But what I think is that here we go. It's Obama-McCain and from here on out it's going to be an Obama-McCain news cycle.
MEGAN: Next up: Barry's crack-smoking go-to guy for blow jobs.
MOE: Yay! I'm still fixated on this John Weaver thing though. Clearly firing him back in September looks like it was a good move for the McCain campaign. But shit, how has the campaign really moved since then? I thought McCain's rise was mainly a factor of "Well that Giuliani thing didn't work, and that Law & Order guy was better on TV...and this Romney guy is a dweeb..." and then "oh wait look the news in Iraq is actually not getting worse!"
MEGAN: Well, and McCain's got Joe-mentum!
  I mean, I think Weaver was ousted as part of the whole "we don't have any money for anyone anymore" thing
But, in retrospect, probably a good decision.
MOE: Or not!?
MEGAN: I don't know, he might've just been another anonymous source anyway.
Or, he might've been not great at his job.
MOE: Yeah blargh. You know what? The endless cummer scandals totally ruined the fun of heterosex scandals.
Did you catch Jon Stewart on Larry King?
MEGAN: No, sadly! It was, um, the reunion episode of Project Runway.
They ran outtakes of Michael Kors losing his shit during the WWE challenge
Totally worth it.
MOE: Oh my god he was wonderful.
But so was JS.
 
MEGAN: I know! I totally meant to watch it, too, and then just spaced.

Like we were looking for another reason to hate on the Wedding Industrial complex!

Anyway I don't say it a lot but: in some ways men also have it rough.

Stifled, Egypt's Young Turn To Islamic Fervor.

As she sipped her bloody mary, she quietly listened to two men, neatly dressed in suits. For a second she thought they were going to compare that day's horrifying attack to the Japanese bombing in 1941 that blew America into World War II:

"This is just like Pearl Harbor," one of the men said.

The other asked, "What is Pearl Harbor?"

"That was when the Vietnamese dropped bombs in a harbor, and it started the Vietnam War," the first man replied.

At that moment, Ms. Jacoby said, "I decided to write this book."

We are all complete dumbasses incapable of even the most moderate level of knowledge retention, much less concentration. The computer on which you are reading this blog is rotting your brain. We have fooled ourselves into believing there is no piece of information worth knowing that can't be distilled into a pithy blog entry, because no piece of information longer than a pithy blog entry seems capable of finding a viable market of readers these days, and the market always knows best; this country certainly did not come into the position of consuming 25% of the world's resources on 5% of its population by ignoring that.

But hey! We can still make this a post that mainly hates on men: do you think dude culture is more hostile to knowledge, or lady culture? Dudes definitely have the "arrogant" market cornered. But our magazines are so much dumber.

Dumb And Dumber: Are Americans Hostile To Knowledge? [NY Times]
The Dumbing Of America [Washington Post]

• So, Marc Jacobs hater/International Herald Tribune critic Suzy Menkes may have loooved Marc's show, but general MJ fangirl, the NY Times' Cathy Horyn, missed it altogether! Only to then check it out online and write, "[I] can see why some people found it a little slack." Only to then be responded to huffily, via the COMMENTS, on Marc by Marc himself, if you will: "Dear Cathy....I wish you could have been at my show...I deliberately stated I was uninspired this season as I have felt that talking about inspiration is so not the point to making and showing a collection." So yeah, any time you thought about dismissing the entire industry as one big neverending middle school...you were pretty much right. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Oh no! Pink eye rampant at London Fashion Week! Think it's a deliberate conspiracy to sabotage the whole "certificate of health" thing? Yeah, fashion people are not that smart. [Vogue UK]
  
• The latest victim of an eye-infection? Hagyness herself! [The Sun UK]
  
• Aw, Benetton is getting back to its awesome ad roots: Its newest campaign is a promotion for a microlending program in Africa. [Fashion Week Daily]

• Now that the writers strike is over and the Oscars are officially on, the stars are expected to wear super bright and flashy colors. [Reuters]
• L'Oreal, meanwhile, is issuing a special limited edition color in honor of the Oscars: Red Carpet Red. Such creativity! They must've agonized over that one. [MediaPost]
• Kim Kardashian is the new face of Bongo jeans. When the jokes are this easy to make, we feel cheap making them. [Speak for your royal selves! Also...sorta liberal use of the word "face", huh? -Moe][MediaPost]
• "A good blow-dry is an absolute necessity. Let someone else do the work for you!" Harrods scion Camilla Al Fayed. [WWD, 3rd item]
• "I never had aspirations to be a shoe designer, but I just wanted a pair of elegant, animal-friendly shoes. Now I can walk into a store and there's a whole collection." Natalie Portman: And humble, too. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Balloon fashion show = awesome. Not as awesome as the condom fashion show, but. [Chic Report]
• L'Oreal profits are up 29%. All thanks to pricey makeup's growing popularity in countries where the per capita income is still like $3,000! [WSJ]
• Valentine's day Reeboks! [Chic Report]

Oh no! It makes us look like swag whores."

About a year ago this shit would have had my very soul steaming out through my ears. I would have thought it was disgraceful and foul that so many women would be so gaily complicit in the efforts of the large cosmetics companies to ever-fatten the profit margins gleaned by milking the insecurity of women for all its worth. About a year ago I would hear a beauty editor friend tell me about how Herbalessences flew her to the Amazon for a week-long "organic beauty" tour or some shit and I would barely be able to restrain my puke at the perpetuation of so much pointless waste. And to think that independent bloggers — free from the advertising relationships and product pages to fill that prevent magazines from actually explaining what a fucking scam the whole thing is — can be bought with a few boxes of free anti-aging cream? That "retails" for $90, but cost $3 to fucking make?? Who don't write negative reviews under the reasoning that "we don't want to hurt a company"???

Lady, does a "company" bleed?

But yeah, seriously, I don't give a shit anymore. I mean, there's a war in Iraq and a war in Kenya and date rape is still de facto legal and Paris Hilton is still famous and soon enough there will be a huge recession and it will wipe all this bullshit away and we will all stop lining the pockets of LVMH and Dr. Motherfucking Pericone with our ill-advised purchases of $65 tinted moisturizer and $30 lipgloss.

Beauty and Blogs Come Of Age: Swag, Please! [NY Times]

• So it turns out Saddam Hussein lied about having WMD so the rest of the Axis of Evil would leave him alone. [CBS News]
  
• How much would you bet even he couldn't have kept that lie up 935 times! [Wash Post
  
• Isn't it funny how yesterday's enemies are today's...[Reuters]
  
• The New York Times to endorse Hillary Clinton? Identity politics much, Gray Lady??? [Radar]
  
• George Soros says it's the worst economic crisis in 60 years. Because financial instruments masterminded by crafty hedgies like himself just got too hard for central bankers and bureaucrats to understand. And speaking of hard to understand... [Financial Times]
  
• But anyway, everyone else smarter than you agrees. [NY Times]
  
• "Tax cuts in general perpetuate the excessive consumption that has marked the American economy." [NY Times]
  
• Suck it, Stiglitz, I want my six hundred bucks. [WSJ]
  
• Bill Gates is over capitalism. Convenient. [WSJ]

The Muse [the It Bag created by Yves Saint Laurent]...was the Palme d'Or among accessory addicts. Like a slain stag slung across the roof of a pickup truck, the Muse signified that a woman had bagged the right bag. Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and other starlets reserved the cozy crooks of their arms for the popular purse. These days, life pales for the Muse...[T]he YSL handbag was last seen...priced at 20% off. Much like the popular pretty girl who always dies first in a horror film, the "it" bag was a victim of its own ambition.

The it Bag Is Dead. Designers Mourn. [All the Rage]
Related: Is This It for the It Bag? [New York Times]

Image stoled from Nataliedee.com.

Included within the issue: Lady Jeanne Campbell, writer, journalist, and female companion to any number of powerful men, including Norman Mailer (to whom she was married) and John F. Kennedy; Brett Somers, actress, co-host of 70s game show Match Game and "average-looking menopausal" television star; Dr. Marian Radke-Yarrow, researcher on the effects of maternal depression on children; Gloria Connors, housewife, onetime tennis prodigy and mother/coach/number one fan to tennis star Jimmy Connors; Madeline Stern, rare-book dealer, scholar, and "utterly apolitical feminist in a world where feminists were bluestockings and then bra burners"; Mary Crisp, a housewife who became a powerful force in the Republican party and supporter of the ERA and abortion rights; Australian war correspondent and onetime prisoner of war Kate Webb (pictured above); Karen Hess, cook, food historian, and proponent of "pure" food; Andree De Jongh, the Belgian artist and nurse who played Harriet Tubman to numerous downed Allied pilots during WWII; Kathleen Khan, a Christian missionary in Pakistan; and reluctant kitchenista and author (The I Hate To Cook Book) Peg Bracken, who so famously wrote, "add the flour, salt, paprika and mushrooms, stir, and let it cook five minutes while you light a cigarette and stare sullenly at the sink."

The Lives They Lived [NY Times]

Earlier: New York Times Notable Deaths: Light On The Ladies, Heavy On The Mascara
Love To Cook? You're Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don't

So yeah, I wrestled with all this shit and figured that there were five stages of "WTF" you must endure to get to the answer.

1. Accept that you've spent some time hating women.
2. It probably had to do with high school. Women are crueler at younger ages and get nicer as they get older. It's a scientific fact. Men are the other way. Remember how Hitler used to be an art fag? Yeah.
3. Realize that you were too busy empathizing with this woman — because you're a WOMAN! you're naturally empathetic!! — to realize you have nothing in common with her i.e.

I begged off on baby groups when my children were born and haven't been able to bear book clubs, the charity circuit, women's fitness classes or the country club scene.

former goddess turned caricature: too lacquered, too accessorized, too fit.

Oh, and lastly, can you believe there was a time a guy could get excommunicated from his fraternity for date rape? I thought that was, like, an intramural sport at this point.

• We don't think we can design clothes, so why do clothing designers think they can blog? The Proenza Schouler boys, Jack McCollough and Lazaro Hernandez, will be blogging for the New York Times's T: Style magazine's new site all this week. Says T's online editor, "One of the things I'm trying to avoid is solipsistic navel-gazing." Um, good luck with that! [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• What would you do with $15 million? If you're Mr. Dolce and Mr. Gabbana, you use it to give your New York flagship store a little make-over! [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• And apparently it took $15 fucking million for Mr. Dolce and Mr. Gabbana to haul their Italian booties here to New York. The designers will be back in New York for the first time in two years to celebrate the re-opening of their store at a private dinner tomorrow night. No, we weren't invited. [NYP]
  
• Say what you will about Sarah Jessica Parker, but at least she understands decorum. Of super low-rise jeans she says, "There is not going to be any inappropriate midriff showing, regardless of age," she says. "It's provocative in a way that I just don't feel comfortable with." Also? Kind of 5 years ago. [Daily Express]

• Prepare yourselves, people: Snowjoggers are the new Uggs. Just as ugly, and worn by Lohan too! [Independent]
• Stop the madness! Fashion houses are now hiring meteorologists as consultants to help them best predict the upcoming weather patterns and what kinda clothes folks are going to want to wear given the climate. Ridiculous? Or inspired? [NYT]
• The new apartment building in New York designed by Zac Posen's boyfriend is being shot by Elle international creative director Gilles Bensimon for an "advertorial" for Elle Decor. Follow? No? The lesson here is: It's all about who you're fucking. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Claire Danes walked as a model for