Jezebel
critical mass
Posts Tagged “
New York Observer
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critical mass
cool new injections
How Old Is She? Too Worked-On To Tell? Check The Earlobes!
The lobe job is the new boob job, reports today's New York Observer. We didn't think there was much more to the story than, "There's a new obscure aspect of your appearance plastic surgeons are encouraging women like us to become insecure about, pass it on!" So we read it. And it's actually a little more interesting than that! It turns out women who are susceptible to this shit are really stupid."One patient only wore big, heavy earrings, and part of the reason was that she was trying to cover her stretched-out ears!" Dr. Sobel said. "She didn't realize that the big earrings were only making the earlobe stretch more. When the hole gets too big it starts to pull the ear down.Ummmmmm, aren't you like legally required to wear clip-on earrings at a certain age??? More »
the bushnell administration
Revisiting "Sex & The City": Mr. Big Appears.... And This Time, Things Will Be Different i.e. The Same
This week's regurgitated Sex & The City column, dated April 1996 (ooooh, theme song: Lush, "Ladykiller") takes place in Aspen. Which is sort of like, if Candace's usual uberrich, retardedly-named cast of characters is orange juice, Aspen would be the pungent canned Minute Maid version of that — concentrate, frozen. (Hah! Frozen for ski season. So Samantha, that joke!) Speaking of which: Samantha shows up in this column, as does Mr. Big, and you know what? Big and Carrie kinda dig one another. But they can't commit! But they also can't stop all those constant unceasing neverending pangs of jealousy they feel whenever a terribly complex and finely-drawn supporting character enters stage right.... Lessee, this week's supporting characters are named: Stanford Blatch (who also goes by Hercules), some guy who only goes by Prometheus, Suzannah Martin, Tyler Kydd, Bob Milo, some slut named Ray, Rock Gibralter. Key accessories: white boots, mink coat, Lear Jets, cigars. More »
the bushnell administration
Revisiting 'Sex & The City': What Do These People Deserve More Than Each Other? Hint: It's Not "Your Attention"
One of the most confusing things about the old Sex & The City columns is that Candace Bushnell actually found so many thoroughly hateful people — In real life? In her ass? Unclear! — in the pre-Rachel Zoe era. Today's oldie from the NY Observer comes from 1996, the year I went to college and listened to a lot of Luscious Jackson, which brings me to the column itself: "It Takes A Shit Man To Stand By Two Shit Women He Used To Fuck And Pretend Not To Know Them; Eat Shit All Of You." It is about two 25-year-old girls who become best friends when they discover they both had the same shitty taste in 42-year-old man. One is pretty and confident but semi-fat, wheras the other is pretty and thin but semi-unconfident, and the 40-year-old denies fucking the semi-fat one and then tells her he only dated her because they would get their pictures taken all the time because she had some connection to gossip columns or something, which is when the semi-fat one moves in with him; etc. etc. and there's hitting and tantrum-throwing and we get it, Hell Is Other People Who Live In New York. More »
the bushnell administration
How Do The 'Sex & The City' Columns Hold Up?
We're always hearing about how groundbreaking Candace Bushnell's original "Sex & The City" columns in the New York Observer were back in the "Reality Bites" era or whenever they were first published. Conveniently, their appeal is so timeless the Observer re-publishes them once a week for the delight of readers, so this claim is pretty easy to fact-check, we just hadn't done it until now because we reflexively avoid certain combinations of graphical stilettos and ampersands in print. So we read today's clip from the vault, a mind-bogglingly all-over-the-place tale of women who date rich guys who are not attractive but because they are rich that seems to have been the basis for the Charlotte-Harry affair. And um, what? This shit did not happen the year we were listening to Portishead. More »
model behaviors
How Does Tanya Stay So Un-Chubko?
Not everyone fasts through Fashion Week, discovers the New York Observer's Spencer Morgan, who hung out this week with a group of mostly teenage, mostly former Soviet-bloc teenage models in town to walk runways — and binge on America's most carblicious delights. In one brief scene, the word "chocolate" is mentioned eight times, with three mentions of ice cream, and one each of Twix, cookies, Big Macs and Starbucks sandwiches. You say the the cocaine/champagne diet is still the norm for models??? Don't tell that to Tanya Chubko!"I love New York, it's totally my city," she continued. "It's not about clubbing or drinking, it's all about people around you. Even on the street eating ice cream, you can have more fun than going to club getting drunk."Where do they find these people? More »
midweek madness
