• Whitney Port isn't in Kell On Earth. And on Lauren Conrad: "We still keep in touch on a friendship level. But in terms of fashion we don't really talk about it anymore because we're not in the same arena." [PopEater]

• AIDS prevention is a cause dear to Carla Bruni's heart. Her brother, Virginio, died of the disease in 2006, and she told French television yesterday that working in fashion in the 1980s, the disease was omnipresent. "The fashion world was hit head-on by the AIDS pandemic," she said. "It really did lose members of its family." Bruni is now an ambassador with the Global Fund to fight AIDS, TB, and malaria, and yesterday the Elysée Palace was festooned for the first time with red ribbons. [AFP]
• A fan named Diane called in to P. Diddy's Home Shopping Network show Monday night. "I'm so nervous!" she squealed. "Don't be nervous," replied the suave object of her affections. "I wish I could just jump through the screen and give you a hug, girl." [The Cut]
• Alber Elbaz designed some sweet heart-shaped Lanvin stamps, covered with his doodles, for the French postal service. [WWD]
• Maria Sharapova would like a fashion line, just as soon as she's finished kicking everyone's asses on the court. [Reuters]
• Liberty of London is taking its gorgeous William Morris aesthetic to the masses: it's partnering up with Target. [WWD]
• John Galliano not only designed a gorgeous Christmas tree that looks right out of a Hokusai print: it will be installed at the Claridge's hotel in a constellation of 20 of his haute-couture dresses. Swoon. [Telegraph]
• If Simon Doonan wanted a crowd, he should have gone the way of XOXO's flagship, which features a rotating cast of two female models paid to dress and undress in front of a glass window on 5th Avenue. The creative director who came up with the concept, in case you're wondering, is a woman. [CNN]
• Mango inked a deal with J.C. Penney. The Spanish brand has 1,200 stores worldwide, but only 12 in the U.S., so their distribution in this country has just officially mushroomed. [Crains]
• Carmen Dell'Orefice is working on a coffee table book of photography, scheduled for release on her 80th birthday. This story is funny mainly for how the Post mangles her name. Carmen De L'Orifice, indeed. [P6]
• Jil Sander's latest jewelry collection, made with Damiani, is out. "Jil Sander, even being considered as the brand of pureness, can create a product category such as jewelry," sniffed creative director Raf Simons. Prices start at around €890 for the baubles; Jil Sander watches are coming in the spring. [Independent]
• Seamstresses and designers who were employed in Christian Lacroix's workshop were yesterday told they had lost their jobs, following the court ruling that the bankrupt house could be transformed into a licensing operation. Dressmaker Nadia Schoope said, "I didn't think it would finish like that. I can't understand how a house like Lacroix cannot draw buyers." Monika Soszynska, who worked in couture accessories, said, "It's surreal, we can't believe that it's stopping, it's not possible. I can't believe we won't be doing the next haute couture collection." [ToL]
• H&M wants to open home stores. The Swedish retailer, which has been plagued by declining sales, opened 240 stores this year. [WWD]
• Dockers thinks the tag line "Behold the second dawn of man" will move some khaki pants. Global marketing vice president Jennifer Sey tells BrandWeek about the genesis of the campaign: "We started to do some research. In today's world, men have lost a bit of footing, in part because women have come so far, but we also found a few surprising facts: Eighty-percent of those who suffered unemployment in the last year were men. Women outnumber men in the workforce now. But the most surprising fact of all was that men's testosterone levels have been dropping by a percentage point a year for the last 20 years. All these factors add to up say, 'Wow, men are struggling in today's world.'" She's not trying to sell pants with pathetic anti-feminist rhetoric, she's just trying to "inspire today's men to be men," ladies. [BW]
• Roland Mouret has a capsule collection for Net-A-Porter on sale now. The seven lovely silk dresses come in seven bright colors, and cost $1,495-$3,070. [WWD]
• The fate of all Victoria's Secret diamond-encrusted bras is to be dismantled for parts. Because nobody ever buys them. [WSJ]
• Christian Louboutin, on Jennifer Lopez's single, "Louboutins" — which name-checks his brand 45 times, yes, he counted: "Jennifer told me about the song back in January, and I was extremely flattered. But of course, in America the public pronounces my name in like a million different ways. So Jennifer called me, and she was like, 'Listen, I want to make sure that I get it right.' And she did...from the very first time! I know the song by heart now. Because the brilliant part of the single is that it's not about me. It's about a girl and her shoe. When something is so in mass culture and you have almost nothing to do with it, it's kind of cool. It's weird but not disagreeable." [FWD]

• A French bankruptcy court has backed a plan that will cut 90% of Christian Lacroix's staff, and reduce the 22-year-old house to a licensing operation. [ToL]
• None other than Simon Doonan is decorating the White House for Christmas. [NYTimes]

• Speaking of the Obamas: Naeem Khan made not one but five dresses for Michelle Obama to consider for the state dinner last week. "It took 10 people three weeks to make the embroidery," says the Indian-born designer. The dresses were made in America, but the beading came from India. [W]
• The point of this story seems to be: Rihanna has changed her style remarkably since she started entertaining us with song. [CNN]
• Tiger Woods may still be wanted for questioning by the Florida Highway Patrol, but Nike is emphatically standing by their $40-million star. [WWD]
• Kate Hudson loved the costumes in her movie Nine, set in 1960s Italy like its progenitor, 8 1/2, because the period fabulousness reminded her of watching her mother get dressed as a little girl. [UPI]
• Catherine McNeil's Australian Vogue comeback cover is out. [Models.com]
• Hey, everyone! This week is the week that all the major department stores expect to magically start reducing their prices as one! To a modest 30-40% off. (Just don't call it collusion!) Net-A-Porter went 30-50% off yesterday, so that $4,000 dress might now be $2,500, with tax, and Saks is starting its up to 40% off sale Thursday; hold on till after Christmas for steeper cuts. Stores laid in around 20% less stock than last year, in hopes of avoiding last fall's rash of below-cost markdowns. It appears they've been successful. [WWD]
• "Whoever your mom is, people won't give you hundreds of thousands of dollars," says Vladimir Restoin Roitfeld, who was given $50,000 to mount his first art exhibition last February, and whose latest show, of Nicolas Pol's work, drew Jean-Paul Gaultier, Andre Balazs, Daphne Guinness, and, oh yeah, his mother Carine Roitfeld, to its opening. Young Vlad's secret? "We work extremely hard." [Bloomberg]
• For I-D's 30th anniversary spring issue, Nick Knight will photograph 100 portraits of different fashion stars featured in its pages over the years — live, in front of an audience. His studio will be open to the public as an exhibition until December 20, and people will be able to watch shoots with, say, Kate Moss or Naomi Campbell, through a two-way mirror. Or live on the Internet, at Knight's showstudio.com. There's nothing that strikes us as less tedious than watching a month-long editorial fashion shoot, but someone might be into it. [WWD]
• The Telegraph gets to the bottom of the mysteriously straight and non-neurotic fashion designer Giles Deacon. How come he's so successful, anyway? "Don't know. My parents weren't into fashion. I didn't have an eccentric granny who mixed lace mantillas with tweed. I never believe people who say that, anyway. 'Oh, my granny had great style.' I just like doing it and I enjoy working hard. I go to work at 10am and I'm still there at 8.30pm. We get the wine out then, but anyone who is successful and tells you they don't work hard is lying." [Telegraph]
• Olivier Theyskens has a book on the way! Olivier Theyskens: The Other Side Of The Picture is due out from Assouline in February. He also might be involved in a new "retail concept," but neither he nor the company involved would comment. [WWD]
• It's official: Bravo will begin airing the Kelly Cutrone reality television series we've all been waiting for, Kell On Earth, next February. As long as Ms. Cutrone keeps dropping f-bombs on live morning television, an audience for this shit is practically guaranteed. [UPI]
• Peaches Geldof, Photoshopped within an inch of her life, is in a second campaign for the UK underwear brand Ultimo. The dividends of just happening upon that News Of The World photographer starkers continue to accrue. [Telegraph]
• North Korean jeans made by a trio of Swedes who describe making contact with the communist regime as "like Facebook poking a country"? Is this a joke? [FWD]
• Inez and Vinoodh shot the spring Lanvin men's wear ads this weekend in Paris, and rumor is they totally pulled a Juergen and put themselves in the shot. [WWD]

• Two weeks after adding Nicolas Cage's home to his sheaf of L.A. properties, Ed Hardy designer Christian Audigier has announced he's moving into Michael Jackson's last residence. Audigier will rent the $38 million home from his C.E.O., Hubert Guez. [E!]

• The glove the late King of Pop wore to marry Debbie Rowe has sold at auction for $49,000. [TMZ]
• "I love Japan. I love the people, the shopping, the fashion. I think they have so much fun with fashion...they don't take it too seriously," says Nicky Hilton. Don't take fashion seriously? Because insanely awesome and carefully cultivated street fashion just happens. [WWD]
  
• Mad Men's Christina Hendricks tells InStyle Weddings about her planned wedding to actor Geoffrey Arend, and specifies the designer (Carolina Herrera) and the look (Sophia Loren) of her wedding dress, but doesn't let it be photographed. [People]
• Lily Cole is a model, who is also (very) smart. The Daily Mail took a break from publishing finger-wagging paparazzi photos of her and scurrilous scuttlebutt about her to notice these facts. [Daily Mail]
• Nanette Lepore would like you to remember Labor Day by saving New York's Garment District from rapacious commercial exploitation. [NYTimes]
• Juicy Couture co-founder Gela Nash-Taylor doesn't drink out of common Starbucks cups. She has her own paper cups, because "I'm so into monogramming. I'm doing it on everything right now." [ToL]
• More than 800 stores across all five boroughs are involved in Thursday's shopping-with-fun event, Fashion's Night Out in New York City. Other regional and international events are also planned. [BrandWeek]
• Karl Lagerfeld will be tending the Chanel store with Carine Roitfeld in Paris, for example. [WWD]
• R.J. Cutler's documentary, The September Issue took in more than a quarter of a million dollars over Labor Day weekend. The $40,000 per-screen average makes it the fifth-highest-grossing documentary ever made. [AdAge]
• Meanwhile, Studio 360's Kurt Anderson says that based on the film, the fashion world is "amazingly old-fashioned, like some royal artifact from the 18th Century." [Studio360]
• The Los Angeles Times says the film "charts the intersection of art and commerce with a perhaps inadvertent eye for an excess that wasn't to last." (I am quoted in this article, proving that if you write long enough and, well, long enough on the Internet, someday someone will mistake you for an expert in something.) [LATimes]
• Anna Wintour, for her part, says that complaining about the sea change in the fashion industry that has taken place since the filming of that documentary is "like talking about that house you could've bought for nothing on the beach in Southhampton. Forget it. It's gone. The amazing golden years that everyone in the industry was enjoying were fantastic from a business point of view but also maybe a little unseemly. Every celebrity thought she could be a designer, and how many handbags? How many shoes? How much of a thing does everyone really need?" Then Wintour goes to the Macy's in Queens where she will be — on Mayor Bloomberg's orders that the event not smack of elitism — kicking off Fashion's Night Out, and upon surveying the scene, asks in a horrified voice, "Can we...enhance?" [NYMag]
• Sixteen months of declining same-store sales at the department store chain might make the budget for those "enhancements" leaner, however. [BW]
• And retailers in general, after an apocalyptic fall and winter, and a barely-improved spring and summer, are hungry for the fall sales boost that events like Fashion's Night Out are aiming to provide. [WWD]
• WWD has a beautiful, subscription-only, series of photographs of various New York designers as they prepare for fashion week. Alex Wang looks radiant and un-stressed, but the same can't be said of the male models snapped lining up for a casting at Yigal Azrouël. [WWD]
• Naomi Campbell would like to point out, for all those who called her hypocritical for modeling fur in Dennis Basso's fall campaign, that she actually quit PETA years ago. So her hypocrisy has weathered a few seasons now — like a vintage mink. [SB]
• More bad news for Annie Leibovitz: the practically-bankrupt photographer is being sued by an Italian photographer, Paolo Pizzetti, who claims that Leibovitz used his pictures without consent — or payment — for a Lavazza coffee campaign. Since Leibovitz could not travel to Italy to complete the shoot, which features images of models in romantic poses in front of Italian landmarks like the Trevi fountain and the Piazza San Marco, she had Pizzetti scout locations and take snapshots for her. Then Leibovitz shot the models in a New York studio, and digitally stitched the fore- and backgrounds together. Pizzetti says he was never paid for the rights to his contributions. [AW]
• Lady Gaga is reportedly set to perform during New York Fashion Week at an after-party for Givenchy hosted by Out magazine and to be held at The Box. [WWD]
• On the night of the 13th in New York, a short teaser film for Spring '10 by Gareth Pugh will be screened at Milk studios' M.A.C.-sponsored fashion shows in Chelsea. Although the first screening will be invitation-only, the second is open to members of the public who register on M.A.C.'s Facebook page. [Style.com]
• And newly-minted director Christian Louboutin just wrapped filming on an advertisement for Piper-Heidseick champagne starring model Elisa Sednaoui. [WWD]
• Manolo Blahnik says he never wanted to be a celebrity designer, and blames Sex And The City for his unwilling transformation. "If people talk to me about Sex And The City, I get sick," he told the Telegraph. "The taxi drivers recognize me now. It becomes too much and I don't feel comfortable." [PC]
• Sojin Lee's new online fashion venture, Fashionair, has launched. Lee last worked for Net-A-Porter, and her backer is Simon Fuller's company. [Forbes]
• Giorgio Armani designed a custom costume for a Spanish matador. It's grey and spangled. [Telegraph]
• Despite growing sales, profits for 2008 at Armani shrank by 41.4%, to $188.3 million. [WWD]
• Harold Tillman, a British fashion businessman who already owns Jaeger, has apparently acquired the bankrupt house Acquascutum. [ElleUK]
• Tom Binns for Disney might seem like a weird combination, because, well, it's a weird combination. [WWD]
• The Ebony Fashion Fair, an important industry event for black designers and models, is canceling its fall tour. The largest traveling fashion show in the world, Ebony helped launch the careers of talents like Kevan Hall and Tracey Reese, and raised money for various local and national charities including the NAACP and the Urban League. The economy is the culprit. [Examiner]
• Milan Fashion Week has been thrown into "chaos" by a series of re-schedulings to avoid schedule conflicts, which begat new conflicts and new re-schedulings, and then yet more conflicts and re-schedulings. [WWD]

• Jennifer Lopez is getting out of the U.S. clothing business, closing her brand, Sweetface. In 2007, Lopez shuttered JLO, replacing it with Justsweet — which then closed after two seasons. It's tough out there for a wannabe fashion mogul. [WWD]

• However, you'll be happy to know that Lopez's Passionista lingerie range is still faring well enough to hire Ana Beatriz Barros for its campaign. [Sun]
• And yet the fall-back advertising strategy remains: if all else fails, throw celebrities at the problem of generating sales in this economy! OP has Sophia Bush, Brody Jenner, Solange Knowles, and a gaggle of other faces in its summer campaign. [People]
• Angelina Jolie takes it easy when it comes to dressing for the red carpet: "I don't think too much about what to wear on the red carpet. I usually have three basic colors and I get the same shapes in different colors!" [MyFashionLife]
  
• Heidi Klum's Barbie, launching this September, comes clad in a sequined mini-dress — and a gold pair of shoes heavily inspired by those Dior gladiator platforms everyone was wearing last summer. Is it still a knock-off if it's plastic and 1" tall? [PopBytes]
• Michelle Obama favored New York designer Rachel Roy with her sartorial selections in San Francisco. The First Lady wore a dress by the designer to attend a conference on volunteering. [The Cut]
• The first of the Michelle Obama style books are here. There's Michelle Style: Celebrating the First Lady of Fashion by Mandi Norwood, Michelle Obama: First Lady of Fashion and Style by Susan Swimmer, and, amazingly, even a Michelle Obama 2010 wall calendar dedicated to 20 glorious full-color pictures of her style. Shockingly, the "experts" agree: the lady dresses well. [USAToday]
• Alexander McQueen said he wouldn't do a runway show for his Spring 2010 men's wear collection, but would instead present his goods in some very special format that the fashion world has eagerly anticipated, McQueen being known for theatrics. Well! If you want to spend 2:19 minutes of your life watching a heavy-breathing pyromaniac in his underwear crawl around an abandoned mental hospital, draw on his own arm, compulsively build a house out of sticks, and slather himself with a brownish substance he then uses to write "Shit" on the wall, all while creepy music plays, now's your chance! Directed by David Sims. Dazed & Confused called it "a daring expedition into both the mind and the wardrobe of an artist." [AlexanderMcQueen]
• Jonathan Saunders is returning to London Fashion Week for the Spring 2010 collections. He had previously shown in New York. Burberry, Matthew Williamson, and Pringle of Scotland have all similarly announced their intentions to celebrate LFW's 25th anniversary by showing there. [UK Vogue]
• The two brothers accused of committing dozens of robberies, mainly on lone women, around London were convicted in court yesterday. Daniel Mykoo, 28, admitted 19 offenses, including choking fashion designer Nicole Farhi until she became unconscious, and stealing her rings and watch. Matthew Mykoo, 27, was convicted of seven attacks but cleared of another eight, including the one on Farhi. [Guardian]
• Vogue hasn't lost any time in replacing Stephanie Winston Wolkoff, the director of special events (a.k.a. the woman in charge of the Oscars of the East, the Met Costume Institute ball), who resigned last Thursday. Sylvana Soto-Ward, an accessories editor who started as Anna Wintour's assistant in 2003, will take the reins. [WWD]
• Yasmin Le Bon is behind a U.K. charity that aims to help children in Romanian orphanages. To support it, you can buy weekly £1 raffle tickets with a chance of winning bounty donated from sponsors. The prize for the first week is a £2,000 voucher from Net-A-Porter. [Times of London]
• 17-year-old fashion blogger Jane Aldridge of Sea of Shoes has a deal to sell her own shoes at Urban Outfitters. Three styles will be in stores next month, and three more will debut in December. Pricing information isn't yet available, but pictures are. (Ironically, to my eye, the heel-lover's flats are the best-looking pair.) [SeaOfShoes]
• And fashion designers think using Twitter will help their business. [WWD]
• Gildo Zegna, the chief executive of Ermenegildo Zegna, the Italian suit maker, says fashion talk of an economic recovery by spring next year is foolish. "I remain positive long term, but we have to be realistic about the crisis," said Zegna. "I think it will be longer than initially anticipated and marginal players are going to go out of business. We have the example of the banking system and the car industry. If it happened to them, it can happen in our business." Zegna just showed the younger, lower-priced line Z Zegna at Milan's men's wear week for the first time, and has aggressively expanded over the past few years in China, to the point where it now has 60 boutiques there and foresees China becoming a bigger market than the U.S. within the next 18 months. Zegna also believes luxury's next great frontier will be Africa. "Look how the Chinese are investing in Africa — they are smart." Did we just hear the future of fashion articulated by one of the industry's oldest names? [NY Times]
• Struggling Abercrombie & Fitch is opening a 40,000 square foot flagship mega store for its Hollister brand in New York. [WWD]
• Chinese counterfeiters are shipping products with fake "Made in India" labels. The ultimate blame-the-other-emerging-economy dodge. [Hindustan Times]

• It seems Calvin Klein put up a billboard in SoHo which some find a little too sexy. We sure hope this kerfuffle ("It's borderline pornographic!") and all the media coverage of it doesn't hurt the company's denim sales! [NYDN]

• "Nothing will be the same again, it would be illusory to think it will be the same again," now that we're in a recession, said Bernard Arnault, chairman and chief executive of LVMH. "In the most developed countries, customers will want exceptional brands. In developing countries, customers will increasingly adopt consumption models of developed countries." Funny, that actually sounds familiar! [WWD]
• Watch out for more from model/heiress Lydia Hearst: She was in one independent film, The Last International Playboy, which is a title that every time I read it makes me briefly confused about whether the movie is an adaptation of The Playboy of the Western World, but in any case, for Lydia, the fame train has not yet reached the end of its line. "This is hopefully just the beginning," Hearst said at the premiere. "I'm a model, but you can expect a lot more from me soon." [WWD]
• Phoebe Philo's resort collection for Celine, her first, was given a rave review by Cathy Horyn at the New York Times. "The central thing to know about her Celine clothes, which are terrific for a number of reasons, is that they reflect an every-day style. By that I mean they are clothes you want to wear every day, whether you work in an office or a gallery, part-time or at home. They answer the questions many women have about wanting to look good at work — appropriate — while still looking relaxed and casual. I'm not sure what Celine really means to American women, and I don't really care, but I thought it interesting that Ms. Philo focused on sportswear — not dresses, not ball gowns, not girlish, what-do-I-do-with-this-now separates. She makes one of the strongest sportswear statements we've seen in some time...It looked right for now, a reprieve from the Balmainia of ultra minidresses and chunky little boots." [On The Runway]
• We shudder to think what this collab might look like: Ronnie Wood and Liberty of London. Leather, black eyeliner, and...floral prints? Oh, wait, the apparel and accessories lines will be based around the Stone's "choice quotations" and art. That sounds so much better. [WWD]
• A more successful pairing might be Loomstate and Keds, which reaches Barneys Coop stores and Barneys.com today. Loomstate redesigned five laceless classic Keds with its prints on 100% organic cotton uppers and linings, the insoles are recycled, the eyelets are nickel-free, and the shoe boxes are recycled. Each pair runs $75. [WWD]
• Is this Tom Ford sounding penitent? "That whole obsession with youth, with new, new, new — it's giving us clothes no one can wear. As for the business model that I followed at Gucci — the new this, the It that, the let's get it on a celebrity and shoot her in front of a logo, it was getting old then. Now it's really old." [Times of London]
• Michael Kors and Heidi Klum, already a familiar duo from evening television, are behind this year's Breast Cancer Research Foundation/Saks Fifth Avenue Key to the Cure fundraiser. Kors has designed a t-shirt that will retail at $40 at Saks, and Klum will model the top for print advertisements. Saks will donate $500,000 to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation, and 2% of the shirt sales, up to $250,000, to other local and national breast cancer charities. [WWD]
• O.M.G., everybody: since 1997, Old Navy has sold t-shirts with an American flag on them and the current year at the bargain price of $5, in honor of making money around the 4th of July holiday. But this year, Wal-Mart's private label Faded Glory has a flag t-shirt with the year on it, and it only costs $3! How are we ever going to choose a retailer to affirm our patriotism now? [NYTimes]
• Clever boy that Jason Wu. For his pre-fall collection, the designer created six different pieces for five top stores: Nordstrom, Neiman Marcus, Bergdorf Goodman, Saks Fifth Avenue, and Jeffrey. Letting everyone get slightly different versions of the same thing keeps the consumer shopping and might go some way to thwarting the race-to-the-bottom effect of discounting. He's doing the same thing for Spring. [WWD]
• Realizing perhaps that in offering 15-year-old Tallulah Belle (Bruce and Demi's daughter) an internship they had in fact violated employment laws, Harper's Bazaar would like to clarify that the youngster is not, in fact, an "intern," but a "guest" of the magazine. Who comes to work every day to shadow the editors. Right. [Daily Express]
• The first pan-African fashion week kicked off in Johannesburg, featuring 50 designers from as far away as Sierra Leone and Nigeria. [Reuters]
• A recent vogue for bobcat fur may be hurting bobcat populations in the Western states. Nevada, New Meico, and Wyoming all have long trapping seasons for the cats, and no limits on how many may be killed. Their popularity with designers has caused prices to surge to around $500 a pelt. [AP]
• Selma Weiser, the 84-year-old founder of legendary Manhattan boutique Charivari, died of heart failure on Friday in her home on the Upper West Side. In the 60s, 70s and 80s, Weiser was among the very first to bring designers such as Claude Montana, Yohji Yamamoto, Issey Miyake, Giorgio Armani, and Thierry Mugler to an American audience. She also gave Marc Jacobs a job as a shop assistant when he was 15. [WWD]
• Someone named Scott Amron — apparently an electrical engineer/designer/inventor, and someone unaware of LVMH's aggressive policing of its intellectual property — had the bright idea to sell "Luis Vuitton" [sic] band-aids made of perforated leather. We sense the descent of lawyers in 3, 2, 1... [AmronExptl]
• Natalie Massenet, founder of Net-A-Porter, and Christopher Bailey, creative director of Burberry, were named MBEs at Buckingham Palace this weekend. [WWD]

• Kanye West and Amber Rose hit up the American Apparel in NoHo for hoodies and sunglasses. "He was really nice about getting his photo taken for our blog," said the store manager. Doesn't he look it! [AmApp]

• Last week, Kanye apparently stood up Agyness Deyn. [Mirror]
• Uh oh. Tim Gunn's Tide commercials were truth-squadded by Consumer Reports, who found that not only was his claim that Tide Total Care doesn't fade clothes after 30 washes untrue, but that another Tide product, Tide 2x Ultra Coldwater, performed just as well as Total Care, for half the price. [CR]
• Stephen Colbert's camouflage suit: custom made by Brooks Brothers. [The Cut]
• Is Vera Wang really going to Dancing With The Stars? [E!]
• Recent Columbia grad Bee "fashion is a really weird industry" Shaffer, everybody: "Right now I am looking for a job, but I also want to study acting." Because if there's one industry where all the people are well-adjusted and normal, it's acting! [FWD]
• Stella McCartney has announced a new partnership to create one-off collections for Gap Kids and Baby Gap. It's the first time the designer has ever done children's wear, and the clothing will hit stores late this year. [WWD]
• Clairol's Nice 'n' Easy at-home hair color is apparently in for a big relaunch, with The Office's Angela Kinsey. In the year to March, Procter & Gamble already spent 97 million on Nice 'n' Easy ads, almost double what it spent on advertising for the brand in the whole of 2008. As for Kinsey, it sounds like she'll play a sort of underminey girlfriend who tells women things like, "Remember when your friend Kelly said she liked your hair color? She lied!" [AW]
• Well, somebody must still have money: Stefano Pilati's "New vintage" collection for Yves Saint Laurent is all but sold out after one day on Barneys' sales floor. [WWD]
• New Yorkers stuck for Father's Day gift ideas, take note: designer John Bartlett's first collection with Liz Claiborne will be sold for four days starting June 18th at a pop-up store at 143 Seventh Avenue South. Shorts will be $55, polos $39.50, and sport coats $89.50. We imagine there'll be some nice socks and hankies, too. [The Cut]
• Pieces from Yigal Azrouël's current Spring/Summer collection, along with Alternative Apparel t-shirts hand-screened with woodblock-esque prints by the designer, are currently for sale on eBay. The items are offered at fixed prices, and while they are below retail ($215 for a cardigan), they're not exactly sample-sale affordable. But all proceeds go to the Natural Resources Defense Council. [eBay]
• Fashion blind item: "Which design collaboration's not actually going so smoothly? Major licensing and financial problems mean the summer-turned-fall launch is now looking like late winter. And if that's not enough drama the designer now 'despises' the collaborator." We'd say famously difficult Jil Sander and Uniqlo fit the bill here, except that line was always supposed to launch this Fall. [Fashionista]
• Net-a-Porter increased its sales by 47.8% in the year to January 31, to a volume of £81.5 million. [FT]
• Versace has named a new chief executive after the hasty departure of Giancarlo di Risio following tensions with the Versace family: the new guy is Gian Giacomo Ferraris, who led Jil Sander since 2004 (the year Sander herself was finally forced out of her design position by owners Prada). [WSJ]
• Jewelry can be a notoriously unethical business — and we don't just mean blood diamonds. Conditions in gold mines are often unsafe for workers, the chemicals used in mining, such as cyanide, can wreak havoc on local ecosystems, and the trade in precious gems like rubies and emeralds is often under the control of third-world strongmen. "Most gems are found in the poor parts of the world and they end up on very rich people's fingers and it's complicated," says jeweler Stephen Webster. The industry is taking a variety of voluntary measures to change its ways. [Telegraph]
• Things are head-spinningly complicated at Interview magazine — still. Fabien Baron and Glenn O'Brien used to be co-editorial directors; then, five months ago, Baron was fired, and O'Brien retained his position while a new creative team was brought in by Brant publications. Now, as of Friday, O'Brien is out — and Baron is back in his old job. [WWD]
• Shares in Men's Wearhouse gained 16% to $20.70 in trading on Tuesday, after the announcement that an affiliate of the company would buy the bankrupt Filene's Basement discount department store chain. Despite same-store sales that fell 5%, Men's Wearhouse still posted a first-quarter profit, and expects earnings of 50 to 60 cents a share in the next quarter. [TS]
• But another bidder in the Filene's auctions says the Men's Wearhouse bid should be invalidated because the auction was "a sham." [Crain's]
• Eddie Bauer might declare its bankruptcy as soon as the end of this week. [WSJ]

• Kate Moss has signed on with Virgin Books to pen a presumably un-virginal "no holds barred" autobiography. Says publisher Sir Richard Branson, "It's going to make an exciting read." [Telegraph]

• Jack McCollough, the Proenza Schouler designer allegedly head-butted by Kiefer Sutherland at the Met, isn't pointing fingers. Sort of. A statement from his camp: "Anyone who knows Jack McCollough knows that he would not hurt a fly. All we can say at this point is that he was the victim of a vicious, violent, unprovoked assault and that the matter is in the hands of the authorities." Please cue 24 joke. [ElleUK]
• A detente in the fabled War of the Nebbishes? Quoth Dov Charney, "I have deep respect for Mr. Allen, who is a source of inspiration to me." Oddly enough, Woody didn't release a similar statement of mutual admiration for Charney's jersey bodysuits [WWD]
• Charney then referenced Larry Flynt. [Gothamist]
• Tell us: would you listen to "Diesel Radio?" Would you admit it if you did? [ElleUK]
• So is the Met Costume Institute's "Model as Muse" exhibit worth the hype? Judging by what Cathy Horyn says, we're...not sure. "You're tempted to snap into one of those incredible bump-and-grind poses suggested by tiny amounts of Spandex and squeal, "Hey, girlfriend!"" [NYT]
• Some - including Mo'Nique - feel Michelle Obama is saving retail fashion. Retail fashion has not gotten the memo. [Time]
• Bucking the trend, L'Oreal's sales rose incrementally in the last quarter; because everyone's shopping drugstore? [WWD]
• And Hermes is up, too! Cross your fingers. [WWD]
• 16-year-old Katie Fogarty, of runway-fall fame, takes a philosophical attitude: "Oh whatever brightens people's days." [Teen Vogue via New York]
• Dig it: Levi's is launching the "Give Them Hope Now" campaign to raise money for New York's Harvey Milk School, the high school dedicated to LGBT and questioning students. [AdAge]
• On a completely unrelated note, Marshalls' attempt to appeal to the kids seems to appeal to no one. "A 35-year-old cross-dressing man named Liam Sullivan portrays Kelly, a shy 17-year-old girl. Kelly, a popular YouTube character, is first shown at home greeting her visiting grandma (also played by Sullivan, natch)." Then they go to Marshall's and there's a musical number involving a mime and some maraca-shaking. [BrandFreak]
• Oddly enough, Tim Gunn was not the only reality fashionisto on Capital Hill this week: Nigel Barker also betook his fine self to D.C. to film scenes for a pediatric AIDS documentary, raising the city's handsomeness quotient by 48%. [Politico]
• Agyness Deyn is hawking mineral water. This is, apparently, highly prestigious. [The Sun]
• Erykah Badu has designed a label for a special bottle of Kiehl's body lotion involving "a trippy swirl of Afro curls, butterflies and ferns." Proceeds go to the Waterkeeper Alliance. [Dallas News]
• Timberland is branching into women's footwear, introducing 12 styles of shoe. [WWD]
• Also snubbing the economy, Derek Lam opened a ritzy new store in SoHo yesterday; both Rihanna and Wintour showed. [The Fashion Informer]
• Stella McCartney and Net-a-Porter have entered into a "mutually exclusive" online sales relationship. Get those eBay-trained trigger fingers ready! [FabSugar]
• Isaac Mizrahi has crafted a (pretty cute) cocktail dress from USA Todays. USA Today likes this. [USA Today]
• Meanwhile, here's Isaac on The -it's-not-a-Project-Runway-ripoff-we-swear, The Fashion Show: "As a judge, I am looking first for integrity. I can't tell yet about niches that people will fit into, but we have to train them to think properly and then think about the marketplace aspect. The difference with our show from other shows is that we have an audience that votes every week and they say some brutal things." [Yahoo]
• Cat fight! Gucci's suing Guess?, claiming the denim chain's "G" is a knockoff of the luggage chain's "G." Or as they'd have it, 'slavishly replicating' their designs. [News.co.au]
• Stephanie Seymour's divorce from "polo-playing husband" Peter Brant is rough. Quoth the supermodel, "It's OK. I'm sleeping in the maid's quarters...I'm doing the best I can to keep things amicable. I want to be the bigger person. But it's tough. He's playing very dirty with me." Or so says a "friend." [NY Post]
• Damien Hirst's Levi's - the fabled "most expensive jeans in the world" - are, how you say, hideosity personified, also look like you could make them at home if you've hung onto your splatter-art machine from the 80's. [InventorSpot]

• Jessica Simpson is launching a line of luggage. Because that's the image of America we want to project when we travel abroad! [People]

• Jennifer Aniston wants a beauty deal. Join the club, sister. [WWD]
• When Kimora's slashing fabulosity budgets, you know things are bad! On her subdued Baby Phat show, "Now's not the time to be running all over and flaunting the money that we don't have." [WSJ]
• Ex Russell Simmons would seem to agree: he's launching a line at Wal-Mart. [Business Week]
• Remember how last week Rachel Zoe said that designer Christopher Sauvé couldn't sell those "Bananas/I Die" tees due to trademark infringement? He's having none of it! He's starting a "free the fruit" campaign to return bananas to the people. [New York]
• Should you have a Michelle fetish and a few grand to spare, check out Jason Wu's truly lovely offerings on Net-a-Porter. [Fashionista]
• Liz Claiborne exec: "Isaac Mizrahi is a nuclear weapon." Is that...a good thing? For the flailing company's sake, we hope so! [New York Times]
• A big spread in O Magazine can't hurt: "A spokeswoman for Liz Claiborne said the brand chose O because it reaches its demographic. In the issue, more than 50 pieces will be modeled by a mix of "real" women, models and celebrities, including Veronica Webb, Becki Newton of "Ugly Betty" and fashion icon Iris Barrel Apfel. The designer has included plus and petite sizes in his collection and has kept it budget conscious. To finish each look, Liz Claiborne is selling coordinated shoes, bags, jewelry and lingerie."[WWD]
• David Gandy is as modest as he is beautiful. Quoth the British model, "Why would anybody want to look at my body?...How can a man be pretty? Flowers and women are pretty. Men are not". We respectfully disagree. [Fashionista]
• Wal-Mart's move to New York could screw some of their vendors. Good plan, though: we're sure the cost of living is way cheaper here than in Bentonville, Arkansas! [Business Week]
• We're not sure how psyched we are about the Jay McCarroll Fashion Week documentary. On the one hand: his last doc was a bit sad, what with Heidi blowing him off and everything. On the other: it's as much Runway as we're getting! [Reuters]
• Jenna Lyons, the creative director of J. Crew, obviously has great timing and a lot of skill. But...we're confused by the deliberate hole in the knee of the jeans she's pictured wearing. [Observer]
• The new Zappos ads: "Underpants-clad customers are pictured either standing in a Zappos box or walking into one. Putting on their best Vanna Whites for the camera, they either reveal their purchases or lift the box over themselves — at which point they are suddenly transformed into fully-dressed Citizens of Society." Hehe. Underpants. [AdRants]
• Speaking of skivvies: OMG the Herry Hall Cherie-inspired Chanel ads are out and are they rad! (We're assuming they're ignoring the sequel in which Cherie commits suicide.) [New York]
• Meanwhile, Chanel's mastermind, Karl Lagerfeld, doesn't dig the internet. Quoth the Kaiser, the web doesn't project "the unique feel and sophistication of luxury materials, refined tailoring and extraordinary attention to detail found in luxury fashion." But can luxury fashion show Christian Bale ranting?! [WSJ]
• THE BARBIE COUTURE IS HERE. Okay, sketches, but still. [AP]
• Anna Sui: "It's survival of the fittest at this point." We'll back the iconic iconoclast in any Darwinian struggle! [NYT]
• Says the head of struggling label Five Four, "I want to create our generation's Polo. You can't be a megabrand in the U.S. today if you're selling a woven shirt for $200...I think the concept of luxury is passé." [WSJ]
• Rachel Roy's current motto? "Strength and courage." [Glam.com]

• Who is Tory Burch's elusive 23-year old stepdaughter Pookie? On Mondays, Pookie interns for Bruce Weber, and the rest of the week she works as the assistant to the president of Carolina Herrera, and she was (allegedly) responsible for the magical pairing of New York's leading faux-WASP ice princess with Princess Coldstare, but alas, we have scoured the Google and cannot find a picture of her. So this will have to do. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• M.I.A has designed her own eponymous clothing line, which is really brightly colored so that, "if you lose it or someone steals it, you can see it from miles away and you can be like, 'Oy! Give me my shirt back!'" Oy is right! [WWD, 3rd item]
  
• Tinsley Mortimer, you see, is not a bad designer of handbags, it's just that she made the mistake of trying to sell them in Japan. "Japanese girls have no use for clutches because they just go to the clubs right after work. They are so different from New York. Stylewise, colorwise, stylewise. It's very youth-oriented. I'm designing for women between the ages of 20 and 40... But in Japan, after 25, it's like, basically, you're dead." [NYMag]

• "Now that I've been modeling some, I can actually stand in high heels—at least for a night." Oh, Hagyness. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Meanwhile, poor Erin Wasson broke her foot running in stilettos while shooting the ad campaign for Justin Timberlake's clothing line, William Rast. Doctors say her bones were fragile due to the amount of time she has spent in her life in heels. Ouch. [NYMag]
• Are you ready for Tuesday night's Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala? [Is that a trick question? -Moe] The theme is superheroes because "the superhero is the overarching metaphor for fashion, because both share this obsession with the body, identity and transformation." [WWD, sub req'd]
• No actually, explains Diane Von Furstenberg, superheroes are just super-trendy right now. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Poor Nicole Fahri was mugged at knifepoint outside her home! [Mirror UK]
• "My wife and I had a great time just sitting and going through things and working on what we liked the best...I would love to see her have a fragrance, and us to have one together — a unisex fragrance. That would be wonderful. She's a lot more expensive than I am." Tim McGraw on his new eponymous fragrance and his oft-PhotoShopped wife, Faith Hill. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Virtual Christian Siriano prom dresses? We're confused. Explain this to us, please. [Gaia]
• Oscar de la Renta shot his Fall/WInter 2008 ad campaign at the Salk Institute for Biological Studies in San Diego. Which is, um, really random and has nothing to do with polio? [WWD, sub req'd]
• Is former Dior Homme designer Hedi Slimane doing a line for Diesel? Eh, probs. [WWD, 3rd item]
• Naomi Watts is the new face of Thierry Mugler's Angel fragrance. We are so happy for her. [WWD, 2nd item]
• Martin Margiela is trying to go mainstream. Have you never heard of him? Well, that's cause he's so not mainstream. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Chuck Close, Jeff Koons, Marilyn Minter, Kiki Smith, Cai Guo-Qiang, Barbara Kruger, Ashley Bickerton, Kenny Scharf, Glenn Ligon, Rirkrit Tiravanija, Kerry James Marshall, Hanna Liden and Sarah Sze are all collaborating with the Gap on a series of t-shirts. [WWD, sub req'd]
• And Elie Tahari is collaborating with artist Kenny Scharf, too. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Alice Temperely: Showing in London come September for the first time in six seasons. Buh-bye, New York. [Vogue UK]
• Colin McDowell, fashion editor of The Sunday Times of London, is leaving the paper to become creative editor-at-large of Net-a-Porter and spearhead its original editorial content. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Revlon: In debt. But less so now than before. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Elizabeth Arden: Profits are down. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Same goes for Bebe. [WWD, sub req'd]
• And Steve Madden! Hmmm, I wonder what it all means? [Crain's]

• Carrie Bradshaw in Burberry in Sex and the City movie ads: Potentially even more damaging to the brand than the chavs? [Vogue UK]
  
• Quick turnaround! Halston redux will be available on-line on Net-a-Porter the day after its runway show next week? Says Net-a-Porter chairman Natalie Massenet:"I am sure this will be a shock to the brands that specialize in knocking off some of the talent in the fashion industry. They had their cake and have been eating it for a while." [Vogue UK]
  
• All employees in the Tod's group were just given a $2,000 bonus by Group head Diego Della Valle as an "I'm-Sorry-The-Italian-Economy-Is-Bad-Right-Now" gesture. Um, are you reading this, Mr. Denton? [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• Cynthia Rowley: Now designing for Target. [WWD, 4th item]
  
• ThreeAsFour: Now designing for the Gap. [Fashionista]

• Louis Vuitton, not content to merely assault us with logos in magazines, on billboards and plastered across half the luggage in LAX's baggage carousels, is producing television commercials now too. [WWD]
• Since the stars have no awards shows to go to it looks like many will be coming out to New York for next week's fashion shows instead. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Alberta Ferretti has inked a fragrance licensing deal with Elizabeth Arden; the label's premiere scent is set to launch in spring 2009, with a skin care line to follow. [WWD, 1st item]
• Ralph Lauren just opened a new endoscopy wing at the Ralph Lauren Center for Cancer Care and Prevention in Harlem. We never knew that Ralph was all into helping cancer patients in Harlem! [WWD]
• The Spring 2008 Nordstrom campaign is all artsy and highbrow, with paintings done by Ruven Afandor. Paintings done by Ruven Afandor on models, that is. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Marie Claire editor-in-chief Joanna Coles on the reasoning behind the pre-Fashion Week dinner she threw: "The designers needed help and the models needed feeding." [Fashion Week Daily]
• More from PR pro Kelly Cutrone on preparing for Fashion Week: "Mara Hoffman...refus[ed] to show before 2:21 p.m. on February 2 as the moon would be void, off course (of course)...Araks will show first, immediately followed (after 2:21 p.m.) by Mara. I call Mara and ask, "What is happening astrologically?" She replies, "Mercury is in retrograde." [Chic Report]
• No shocker here: More and more people are buying clothes from Amazon.com. [Times of London]
• How bad is the economy? So bad that lipstick isn't even selling. And lipstick sales are supposed to go up during a recession. [AdAge]

Santa's Helper is actually not a bad idea, since the type of guy who can afford to buy an $8,450 Oscar de la Renta gown (the first item on the Editor's Picks list!) probably doesn't have time to track it down. Still, for those women who consider themselves jealous types, the "helper" may seem a little too eager to please.

Santa's Helper [Net-A Porter, via Portƒolio]

• Roberto Cavalli is now in the wine business. We hope it comes with a leopard print label! [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Diane Lane is the latest Neutrogena "brand ambassador." Jesus Christ do we hate that term. [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• Marcus Wilmont and Maki Aminaka Lofvander won England's Fashion Fringe award for their label Aminaka Wilmont. The collection they showed was inspired by the idea of "a serial killer model." Incidentally, Naomi Campbell "burst into spontaneous applause from her spot on the front row when they sent their first model down the catwalk." [Vogue UK]
  
• Jimmy Choo CEO Tamara Mellon's ex-husband Matthew on his former wife: "When your wife makes $100 million during the course of your marriage, it's quite a shocker . . . I felt like my masculinity had been stripped from me. I feel like my b - - - s are in a jar, like a Damien Hirst artwork on the mantelpiece." [NY Post]

• English model Sophie Andertson lost a $200,000 contract to be the face of a line of tanning salons (uh, yeah) after it was revealed that she offered sex and cocaine to an undercover reporter. Um, and the reporter didn't take it? All for the glory of ruining the career of a model no one has heard of? There should be some kind of anti-Pulitzer for this. [Daily Mail]
• New York Times Style section photographer Bill Cunningham has undergone eye surgery. Get well soon! [Fashion Week Daily]
• Converse is the latest brand to offer up an exclusive line at Target. Which makes us laugh. Cause like this is Converse after all, not Balenciaga. [Sassybella]
• Nordstrom's sales are up 22% in the third fiscal quarter. We think it's that in-store baby grand. [WSJ]

• After shooting her for a Dom Perignon campaign, Karl Lagerfeld expressed amazement at Claudia Schiffer's ability to play the diva at the heart of the campaign's storyline. We further express amazement that Karl got over his own whopping diva attitude to actually compliment someone other than himself. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• French designer Roland Mouret relaunching his new line Web 2.0 style on Net-A-Porter exclusively, with Victoria Beckham its celebrity spokesmodel. What vision! [Portfolio]
  
• Catherine Deneuve to design a handbag line! Which means that, sight unseen, some people (read: Jennifer) want one already. [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• Zara says cheap-chic competitors who use celebrity "designers" are cheating — since, um, duh they don't actually design? [Yahoo]

• Not-so-fast fashion: An Italian designer outfitted a gimpy 3-wheel car into her roving boutique. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Permira is thisclose to world domination! Er, we mean taking over 100% of Valentino. If pesky antitrust authorities don't get in the way, they'll have 60.2% of the label. Mwah hah hah. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Amsterdam-based designer Percy Irausquin is apparently one of the hottest up-and-coming names in fashion. Shouldn't he be from Antwerp or something? [Vogue UK]