They were mostly just semi-awkward dudes who had trouble navigating the bar scene, and needed a boost of confidence (a very expensive boost, but a boost nonetheless). What was more interesting were the tactics espoused by Savoy and his band of dating boot camp instructors. Apparently, it's all about preparation.

They prep you for everything, including, but not limited to: how to position yourself at a bar to make it look like girls are hitting on you, and not vice versa (stand against the wall); how to meet girls in a club ("Approach a girl and ask, in a loud voice, 'On a scale of one to 10, how much fun are we having?' If she says eight, take her by the hand and twirl her. Then say, 'Now you're at a 10!'"); how to meet girls at the airport ("Fly Southwest—the open seating is great for sitting next to a hot girl"); how to "isolate" a girl and move her around the room to strengthen "trust"; how to plant the seeds of sex in her mind early in conversation; how to make friends with her guy friends so they don't punch you in the face; and even how to snag a threesome ("It's important to elevate intimacy with each girl in sync. Also, alcohol helps").

I mean, isn't a lot of that common sense, repackaged with cute catchphrases? I guess in some ways, this is a more manly, uber-expensive form of a self-help book. I know perusing the self-help aisle is not exactly at Schwarzeneggerian levels of masculinity, but it's still less embarrassing than telling your friends you shelled out 3K to get advice from someone named Savoy.

Pay For Play [Radar]

Earlier: Intrepid New York Reporter Hits On Moddels, Fails Hilariously
'The Pick Up Artist': Extreme Makeover Edition

Marty: [You] made me feel important, smart, beautiful, sexy..... There was a lot of good. We wouldn't still know each other now if there wasn't. There were a lot of things I was wrong about, though.
Adam: What were you wrong about, you think?
Marty: To trust you. I absolutely trusted you, and you weren't trustworthy.
Adam: Something we should say, though, is that we met when I was 20 and you were 29. Do you think that had an impact on our relationship?

What's more, we realized that Adam was also the same entrant who, in the first challenge of this idiotic contest, had his love advice for Glamour dating blogger Alyssa Shelasky doctored to better offend her fragileness by the catty Glamour editors. Clearly Adam's the beaten-down-but-deserving Al Gore to Intern Neel's bright, clean Obama. Not that we actually want someone who's not a cougar-chasing 24-year-old commitment phobe (of gargantuan proportions) to be penning this column now that we actually have to read it, but seriously Adam, we endorse you from a moral perspective. You know, because we are people of MORALS.

I Wanna Be Jake! [Glamour]
Earlier: 'Glamour' Editors To Vapid Starfucking Blogger Alyssa Shelasky: One Of These Days Some Dude Is Going To Call Your Starfucking Ass Out On How Vapid It Is...Oh Fuck It Already

Their responses to Alyssa's question, "Why can't I find love when I am clearly so adorable as evidenced by the 397 pictures of myself I have posted on the Glamour website", were mostly pretty boring since as Neel pointed out, they don't actually read Alyssa's blog. But when Alyssa took umbrage-lite at Jake wannabe Adam Stein's response, Adam dug up his rough draft and found that his answer had been planted with a SUBLIMINAL (figuratively) MESSAGE by... well, he could only suspect "Glamour Editorial Sprites"!

I don't think I was hard on you at all, unless you're referring to this: "Seems to me you've been looking in all the wrong places. Celeb-infested galas, crowded book signings and publicist-heavy cocktail parties tend to be crowded with the types you know you should avoid." In which case I should tell you...I didn't write that. Sometimes I compose a draft of a blog, and then it comes out posted with mysterious additions. Glamour Editorial Sprites, no doubt, making mischief.

Mischief! That's one word! Sprites. Yet another! But wait! We think we're stating to make out a hidden message within the hidden message...

This...vapid ho gets... three thousand dollars a month....for this shit????