My policy on gift certificates may as well be chiseled in stone: SPEND. DON’T EVER NOT SPEND. (It’s actually the opposite of that Ten Commandment against avarice.)
Here's a story that you won't soon forget: A man was rushed to the emergency room after sustaining an erection that lasted almost a full day. The way that the doctors had to bring him down will turn your stomach. Or give you sympathy pains. Look, it's not good, okay?