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Don't get me wrong: these studies are fascinating, and I'm sure they illuminate a great deal about evolutionary psychology, development, and doubtless have implications for medicine, product development and other, sinister things I don't know about. From a layman's perspective, it's always interesting to know to what extent we are at the mercy of ancient forces, and can even provide a welcome measure of relief in cases. Certainly the science of attraction has resulted in any number of fascinating discussions — not least of them why Love Potion Number Nine is not on cable far more often.

Of course, studies like this one are almost never purely based on biology; societal influences cannot be ignored. In the case of the color red, Dr Jo Setchell, an anthropologist from Durham University, tells the BBC that red — the color of blood — is "the easiest signal for an animal to produce externally, and had become a handy method of advertising fertility," such as in the case of monkeys' "bright red sexual swellings" during ovulation. Adds Andrew Elliott to the Telegraph, "It could be this very deep, biologically based automatic tendency to respond to red as an attraction cue given our evolutionary heritage."

In the study, the hundred young subjects were asked to rate pictures of a woman on prettiness, kissability, and sexual attractiveness. In some images she was pictured in a blue top, in others red. They were also shown pictures of the same woman bordered by different colors. Not only did the men gravitate towards the red-clad dame, they said they'd be more inclined to spend money on her in a dating situation. (Women, natch, didn't favor one color over the other.) "The researchers noted that the color red did not alter how men rated the women in the photographs in terms of likeability, intelligence or kindness — only attractiveness," adds the Beeb.

But what about the fact that red is associated with the devil? And that blue is the traditional color of the Virgin Mary? Is there a virgin-whore complex at work here? And how powerful is this unconscious attraction? Can it blind a man to a woman's flaws? Would he choose a red-clad date who was abusive to a waiter over a nice lady in turquoise? And what if red's not your color (and it's trying, ironically, for many blonds.) Would he pick you in red even if it washed you out more than the blue top? What if the red top was, like, a Christmas sweater with a big snowman on it, and the blue top was really cute? These are the follow-up studies I want to see.

The basic point of all these studies, at the end of the day, is that people are attracted at some level to those who seem like fit mates — no news there. Yes, men are attracted to ovulation, we're drawn to height. We're animals. We reproduce. We know this. And yes, we like science that has something to do with poppy human interest. But do people listen to these studies — change their behavior or grooming based on these biological findings to increase their attraction? Seriously, I want to know. To the extent any body language study or even the most elementary makeup or clothing tutorial is founded on basic principles of "maximizing best points" I guess we are all on some level at the mercy of this kind of thinking. I wear blush like the next pale person — which I guess on some level is intended to mimic good reproductive health and (in the case of NARS) orgasm. Even in a non-romantic context, we're certainly encouraged to manipulate perceptions all the time — in a job interview, for instance — so I guess manipulating nature wouldn't be that much of a stretch.

So, no judgments: can we get an informal poll on whether any of us have consciously used these studies that fill our inboxes on a slow news day, to alter our behavior? I'll admit, that pheromones thing made me feel a little better about being too cheap to get regular bikini waxes. After all, in a world in which we seem at the mercy of all sorts of external forces (global economy, anyone?) I can certainly see the appeal of trying to take matters into one's own hands so to speak. Are we glad or not to be essentially creatures of biology? To embrace or overcome? Gives 'back to nature' a whole new meaning.

Men prefer women in red [Telegraph]
Wearing red 'boosts attraction'

Earlier: Fake Scientist Finds Real Humor In Crappy Cosmo Content

Salon's Dr. Amy Tuteur points out that pain is not normal; it's a warning impulse designed to protect our survival: "At the level of the skin, pain tells us what is safe to touch and what is dangerous. At the level of bone, the pain of a broken bone is so great that it forces immobility, and that probably helps the bone to heal properly. The pain of disease makes people search for ways to diminish the pain, and perhaps improve survival from." So what possible purpose could hours of exhausting agony serve?

Well, as we all know, lots of mothers and babies die in the birth process; in a word, it's dangerous. "Evolution would certainly have favored strategies that lowered the risk of death. Perhaps labor pain, like all other forms of human pain, existed to warn women to seek assistance." In addition to the physical assistance needed to deliver a difficult birth, it's possible that women felt an instinctive desire for support and companionship during labor. In turn, some argue, this impulse towards socialization could have enhanced these women's — and their offspring's — fitness for evolutionary survival, since loners didn't exactly thrive during the Ice Age, etc. As a quoted Scientific American article puts it, "Taking into consideration the evolutionary advantage that fear and anxiety impart, it is no surprise that women commonly experience these emotions during labor and delivery."

While it's kind of depressing to think the pain of labor might not serve much function — most of us don't exactly need to be in agony to not want to give birth alone in the woods — I really like the idea that nature favored drama and emotion over self-containment. While one assumes a measure of independence, toughness and self-sufficiency was a given in the bulk of evolutionarily successful humans, the Very Special Episode virtues of knowing when to ask for help is apparently more than a societal platitude. And although the article doesn't get into it, it does seem like getting pregnant can be so fun and easy that it might not be a bad idea, evolutionarily speaking, to make part of the process slightly less appealing to women whose bodies are at risk in pregnancy — or, more topically, to young girls who waltz blithely into pregnancy. Philosophically speaking, most people don't seem to have a problem with birth being a Big Deal, and hey, all those benefits still haven't been totally debunked. In the meantime, good to know an Epidural doesn't exactly go against nature's plan — assuming, that is, someone else is administering it.

Why Does Childbirth Hurt? [Salon]

Related: Milla Jovovich Recalls 72-Hour Labor As Daughter Turns 1 [People]