Boobs Age Faster Than the Rest of Your Body, Because Nature Is a Dick

Back when I was in my early 20s, before I became the proud, dazzling, professional, skirt-suited woman-scholar that I am today (i.e. a hungry, unshowered, still-in-bed hangover-crone who's only managed to make it to semi-vertical today despite having had to pee for literally four hours), I used to make this joke in… » 10/22/13 10:40am 10/22/13 10:40am

Killer Whales Go Through Menopause, But Do They Get Hot Flashes?

Killer whales are one of only three species on the planet to experience menopause, and scientists believe the evolutionary trait is a result of whales' "unusual social structure," in which their adult children never really leave them. (On a side note: what the fuck is day two of a whale period like?) » 10/17/13 11:50am 10/17/13 11:50am

Fox News Dudes Think Lady Breadwinners are 'Anti-Science' Freaks

Mothers are now the primary or sole breadwinners in 40% of American households with children, according to a new Pew study. Some (breadwinning women) reported actually wanting this change. Others (sniveling Fox pundits) say apocalypse is nigh and that it's "anti-science" for women to "dominate." » 5/30/13 5:40pm 5/30/13 5:40pm

Dolphin-Assisted Births Seem Like Questionable Life Choices

Dolphins are magical, highly-intelligent creatures that play with surfers, save drunk people from riptides, and jump over the rings of Lisa Frank’s neon-splattered Saturn. They’re cosmic beings, dolphins are, in direct communication with the undying essence of the universe, privy to the semi-divine thalassic secrets… » 5/27/13 12:30pm 5/27/13 12:30pm

Baby, It's Cold Outside (But Bundle Up And Go Improve Your Cognitive…

Although it always becomes tempting around this time of the year to watch a marathon of Angel on Instant Netflix do really cool lazy indoor things that only the coolest lazy people do, you could do your brain a real service by getting out there and doing some wintry frolicking, according to The New York… » 1/12/13 6:00pm 1/12/13 6:00pm

Your Christmas Tree Is Infested with Something Called 'Bark Lice'

In "throw your tree out the window and burn all your possessions" news, it turns out the beloved Christmas Pine doubles as a half-way house for mites, moths, spiders, and something disgustingly named "bark lice". Puke/Shudder. This is giving the Christmas tree rash a run for its disgusting money. » 12/24/12 1:40pm 12/24/12 1:40pm

The Curious Case of Botswana’s Androgynous Lionesses

In my ongoing effort to bring back some stately British narration to documentaries about the African wilderness (I've also filmed and, shall we say, "dressed up" my cats as a panther and an ocelot, respectively, so I could build up a nice reel to send to Nat Geo, fingers crossed), we're going to take time out of the… » 10/28/12 12:00pm 10/28/12 12:00pm

Sea Lion Returns to the Ocean Like a (Giant, Awesome) Fish to Water

I know, I know, sea lions aren't big fish. OR ARE THEY? No, they're not. But, then again, they they can swim, so I'm gonna go with, yes they are fish. Now that that's settled, let's check out our friend from San Francisco. This little guy was rescued, rehabilitated, and returned to the sea to go limbo with Nemo and… » 10/24/12 9:40am 10/24/12 9:40am

Urban Coyotes Are 100-Percent, Disney-Movie Monogamous

Urban coyotes may be many things, — fuzzy, wily, sinewy, menacing, disdainful of golden retrievers, purloiners of newborn infant sons — but you might not have known that they're also living, loping, and prowling Valentines. That's because urban coyotes are, without exception, entirely, 100 percent, meatball-nosing,… » 9/25/12 11:55pm 9/25/12 11:55pm

Male Killer Whales Are the Biggest Mama’s Boys of the Animal Kingdom

There are only a few lucky species of animals that experience the hormonal scrapple that comes with menopause. Humans, for example, experience menopause so that mothers-in-law don't spew too much vitriol on the temptresses that have bewitched their baby boys. And to conserve resources or whatever. Killer whales, on the … » 9/14/12 1:10pm 9/14/12 1:10pm

Hermaphroditic Sea Slugs Do It and Read Fifty Shades of Grey,…

I'm told of a species of sea slug — Siphopteron quadrispinsom, if you really want to get fancy about it — that has both male and female organs, and so can have all kinds of kinky, painful sex, including the kind of foursome that involves only two creatures. The thing about these sea slugs, though, is that the… » 8/24/12 9:30am 8/24/12 9:30am

Researchers Discover that Insomniac Birds Are the Sexiest Birds

Sleep, in case you don't get a lot of it and instead rely on the sadist you innocently call "caffeine," is really important and losing only a few hours of it each night can adversely affect most animals' ability to perform waking functions, like remembering to refill a subway card before swiping it so you don't hold up a … » 8/09/12 11:55pm 8/09/12 11:55pm