Like Kate, it's hard to imagine Natasha in high school. In my image of her, she's wearing high heels and a pencil skirt, sitting at an outdoor café, drinking and espresso and smoking a cigarette while she waits to give you sensitive information. Or to get such information from you, while making you think she's giving it. If Natasha hands you a briefcase, I can pretty much guarantee that it contains not the documents you paid a million Swiss francs for, but a single rose and a handwritten note that says, "Better luck next time." That's just how she rolls.

Even if she's not actually a spy, Natasha has a cool beauty and natural reserve that would make her a natural for spy movies. You've never been to her apartment; you don't even know where it is. Her boyfriend is some kind of financier, but you rarely see them out together. Her friends are other enviably cool women, possibly of international extraction. Some of them may be named Isabel. Natasha doesn't often show anger — or any emotion, except maybe mild amusement — but people who get on her bad side have a way of getting audited, or worse.

Of course, the quintessential Natasha is Natasha Fatale of Rocky & Bullwinkle fame. This villainess from the nation of Pottsylvania may have been a little silly, but with her stilettos and strapless dress, she definitely looks the part. So, in their own way, do actresses Natasha Henstridge and Natascha McElhone, and model Natasha Poly. Sasha Obama's name is also short for Natasha, and she seems too adorable to be a femme fatale. But she's only eight, so maybe it's too early to tell.

From a peak of #72 in the eighties, Natasha has tumbled all the way down to #413 in US popularity. Far more popular — at #13 in 2008 — is its less threatening cousin, Natalie. Both names derive from the Latin dies natalis, or birth day, referring to the birth of Christ. But watch out — if you cross Natasha, it might just be your death day.

Natasha [Wikipedia]
Natasha [The Baby Name Wizard]

Earlier: M Is For Michelle, An Elegant Mystery
L Is For Lisa, Whose Looks Are Deceiving
K Is For Kate, Who Kicks Ass, Takes Names
J Is For Jennifer, The Vanilla Of Names
I Is For Isabel, Who's Snooty, But Earns It
H Is For Hillary, A Barrel Of Laughs
G Is For Grace - What's That Up Her Sleeve?
F Is For Francesca, And I Wish I Were Her
E Is For Emily, Who Seems Sweet (At First)
D Is For Danielle (Or Dani, Who's Apparently Kinda Judgey)
C Is For Courtney, Who's Too Cool For School
B is for Beth (And Barack! And Bandana!)
A Is For Anna: What My First Name Says About Me

This girl? The one identified in her chyron as Natasha Poly? Is not Natasha Poly.

Her real name is Anna Maria Jagodzinska. She is 21 years old and from Poland. Vogue staffers might recognize Jagodzinska from the cover of their magazine.

Right, Condé Nasties, that's her in the top row! (Clue: not the black one.)

Who is "Natasha Poly," you ask? Natasha Polevshchikova, better known by the name Natasha Poly, is a 23-year-old who grew up in the Russian city of Perm. It is true that Poly is also on the current Vogue cover — Steven Meisel managed to find a space for her at the edge of the fold-out.

Poly has green eyes and dark blonde hair (which is currently dyed a few shades lighter). Jagodzinska has blue eyes and is that particularly Polish hue of blonde. Poly is known for walking in a lot of runway shows, shooting four consecutive international Vogue covers, and modeling frequently for Gucci. Jagodzinska is known for being Steven Meisel's current muse, taking the year 2007 off to study, and booking 12 campaigns this season. Poly has hollow cheeks and an adorable button nose; Jagodzinska has a long, straight nose and cheekbones that could cut bread. Are we getting clearer? Let's summarize.

This is Natasha Poly:

And this is Anna Maria Jagodzinska:

It really spells trouble when Vogue can't keep its blonde Eastern European cover models straight.

Featured are the nine models everyone pretty much assumed — and no, Lara Stone didn't get spiked, as had been rumored. On the front cover are Liya Kebede - the third black woman on Vogue's cover in as many months - Natalia Vodianova, and Anna Maria Jagodzinska. Isabeli Fontana, Stone, Jourdan Dunn, Raquel Zimmerman, Caroline Trentini, and Natasha Poly share the fold-out. I can't tell for certain what the nine are wearing, but if I'm not mistaken, Dunn, Stone, and possibly Vodianova have on dresses by Rodarte.

An honest-to-goodness surprise? Anna Wintour allowed Steven Meisel to put Jagodzinska, a relative newcomer and the current focus of the photographer's frequently-shifting attentions, right up front next to the established supermodels, Kebede and Vodianova. Jagodzinska is no overnight success, like Dunn — she's been working since 2004, although she quit in 2006 before coming back in a major way last year — but her most significant cover prior to this was Vogue Australia. That's like going from drinking out of a handsome silver julep cup (and feeling pretty good about it), to supping from the holy grail itself. A hell of a step up for the blonde Pole, and, on the part of Wintour, an unusual nod to the fashion-forward audience that would most easily recognize her.

The cover bears American Vogue's signature apparent use of Photoshop. Something's off around Isabeli Fontana's jaw line, and there's an unreal look to all the overlapping heads. At least the retouching team left Wintour's favorite Brazilian her much-vaunted freckles.

The biggest laugh? "The Man Who Made Them Stars" is a cover line that teases to a story about Meisel, who shot the main inside editorial, which is a 21-model extravaganza titled, not so humbly, "The Godfather," and which includes two group shots with the man himself. Meisel, though an extraordinarily influential (and deservingly admired) photographer, did not "make" all nine girls on his cover "stars." Jourdan Dunn was chosen by casting superagent Russell Marsh to walk for the Prada fall/winter 08 show, which launched the Londonite into the industry's good books. Lara Stone, after working all over the world in relative obscurity for over five years, switched agencies and attracted the attention of Givenchy designer Ricardo Tisci before Meisel ever started using her for Italian Vogue. Liya Kebede made it big when Tom Ford cast her in his shows back when he designed for Gucci. Natasha Poly doesn't really owe her career to Meisel, either. Let's be honest and call "The Man Who Made Them Stars" this issue's first Cover Lie.

[Image via user Luxx at The Fashion Spot]

Earlier: Handicapping The May Vogue Cover Models: Our Best Bets

Vogue's May issue is in honor of the Met's annual Costume Institute Gala, a to-do that editor in chief Anna Wintour always supports. This year, the Costume Institute's exhibit is all about the model as muse — and for months now, rumors have been flying about a multi-model Vogue cover exploring the model/muse theme. It is said to celebrate Wintour's picks of the current top girls, and be shot by Steven Meisel.

Kind of like the November, 1999, cover, which featured Kate Moss, Lauren Hutton, Iman, Gisele Bundchen, Naomi Campbell, Stephanie Seymour, Claudia Schiffer, Amber Valletta, Christy Turlington, Patti Hansen, Lisa Taylor, Paulina Porizkova, and Carolyn Murphy. The photographer was Annie Leibovitz, and I have to say, the image has aged rather well.

The last time Vogue did a models cover, for the May, 2007, issue, an image of it leaked in early April, which rather dulled the suspense, if not the excitement of seeing Hilary Rhoda, Doutzen Kroes, Lily Donaldson, Sasha Pivovarova, Coco Rocha, Chanel Iman, Caroline Trentini, Raquel Zimmerman, Agnyess Deyn, and Jessica Stam together under the tagline "The World's Next Top Models."

It's safe to say that this time, Condé Nast won't mistakenly upload the cover early to Style.com, or do anything else to let its secret out of the bag. And so American Vogue, the commercial monthly that perceives boundless reader enthusiasm for what Cathy Horyn called "the 'villa in Tuscany' story," natural home of the humiliating beauty writer first-person piece, originator of the suggestion that we prick our body fat with needles, overall the safest and plainest of the world's fashion tomes, finds itself the object of a fever pitch of fashionistas' speculation. Anna Wintour, this is not the Twilight Zone. This is merely what happens when you pick good models and good photographers, and trust them to do good work.

What we think we know about this issue

Word is, the key to understanding May Vogue and its casting is: Steven Meisel. In addition to the cover girls and their inside editorial, there is said to be an editorial spread dedicated to the kingmaker photographer's all-time favorite muses — models like Karen Elson, Naomi Campbell (who mentioned shooting something "top secret" with Meisel earlier this year), Linda Evangelista, Christy Turlington, Jessica Stam, Gisele Bundchen, Daria Werbowy, and Coco Rocha are all tipped to be involved. There is also rumored to be a third editorial all about Meisel's current crop of favorites, which would basically be a consolation prize for the models who didn't make the cover.

What would be a nice surprise? Seeing some new work from Irving Penn. Although he's now 95, the great photographer does still shoot — and Vogue under Anna Wintour has always made itself an eager venue for his work.

Kate Moss is co-chairing this year's Costume Institute gala, so it's hard to imagine the issue could roll out with no content relating to her — and her name has not been mentioned as one of the cast for the cover. If she doesn't have a standalone editorial, or a spot among Meisel's all-time favorites, she'll almost certainly be pictured in association with an article about the gala and/or the exhibit.

As Far As We Know, The Cover Is Likely To Feature

Caroline Trentini, Brazilian. Chances: Shoo-in

Trentini confirmed her position on the cover in an interview she gave at Sao Paulo fashion week earlier this month. Trentini is a longtime favorite of Wintour's, and she can be seen jumping in head-to-toe runway looks against a variety of studio backgrounds in basically any issue of American Vogue from the past four years. She went on a long holiday this winter, and only interrupted it for two very special jobs — walking in the fall/winter Yves Saint Laurent show for Stefano Pilati in Paris, and shooting the May cover of American Vogue in New York. Trentini said there were a total of nine models at the shoot, and called the photo "historic." She also confirmed Isabeli Fontana and Raquel Zimmerman were shot for the cover. Trentini was on the last Vogue cover that featured models, and by this point, Anna Wintour's patronage of her makes Trentini's supermodelhood a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Isabeli Fontana, Brazilian. Chances: Shoo-in

Why would Trentini lie to us? Isabeli Fontana is well known as a Victoria's Secret girl and all-round sex bomb. She's stalked the runway for years, and did time as Donatella Versace's muse, which fits the issue's theme.

Raquel Zimmerman, Brazilian. Chances: Shoo-in

Besides being confirmed during Trentini's little sit-down with the hometown press, Zimmerman is a Wintour favorite in her own right. Like her freckled compatriot, Zimmerman was on the last multi-model cover, and the Vogue editor's attitude towards her has not appreciably changed since.

Natalia Vodianova, Russian. Chances: Strong

Brazil's RG Vogue named the Russian model — a longtime face of Calvin Klein, who has been extensively featured in American Vogue — among the cover stars. (The same source confirmed Zimmerman, Fontana, Natasha Poly, and Liya Kebede.) Potential problem? RG Vogue said in its story, dated February 13, that the cover would feature eight models, and all subsequent intelligence, including the Trentini interview linked above, points to it having nine. (This would be logical, as there were actually nine muses: Calliope, Clio, Erato, Euterpe, Melpomene, Polyhymnia, Terpsichore, Thalia, and Urania. But you knew that.) How much that crucial counting difference actually casts RG Vogue's source in doubt is up to you.

Liya Kebede, Ethiopian. Chances: Strong

Liya Kebede, in case you haven't noticed, is black. Anna Wintour has borne the brunt of (well-deserved) criticism as of late for featuring black models so rarely (not to mention that atrocious LeBron James/Gisele Bundchen cover). This year, Vogue has made sure to up its game: the ladymag has run editorials depicting Jourdan Dunn and Chanel Iman, and the past two covers have featured black women, Michelle Obama and then Beyoncé. How much you wanna bet Wintour would be the type to bolster her publication's some-of-our-best-friends-are-black defense by putting Kebede on her cover and calling it three in a row? To point it out as a cynical maneuver on the part of Wintour is not to impugn Kebede's worth as a cover choice: in fact, she has gotten the cover of American Voguesolo once before, and her work dates back to the 90s, when she was a favorite of Tom Ford. Just this past season, as if to prove she's still got it, she opened Balenciaga and took the Paris shows by storm. She's earned this cover, as a model and a muse, many times over already.

Natasha Poly, Russian. Chances: Strong

If you believe RG Vogue's source, she's in. Poly opens and/or closes every runway show, everywhere, always. She's walked for more designers for more seasons than any other model can shake a stiletto at, and frankly, being the reigning catwalk queen should count for something.

Jourdan Dunn, British. Chances: High

Dunn became the first black model to walk for Prada in over ten years when she was cast in its fall/winter 2008 show. (Then Prada, having done its bit for diversity, promptly went back to never using non-white models.) Dunn has been in American Vogue before, so she wouldn't be entirely unexpected, even though she is a newer model. Besides, Trentini says she's in.

Anna Maria Jagodzinska, Polish. Chances: Fair

Jagodzinska is definitely one of Meisel's current favorite models, and she's been featured in the pages of Vogue before. (What, you didn't remember this story?) Jagodzinska's bagged 12 campaigns this season. But I couldn't find a source exactly confirming her presence on the cover — although her name keeps coming up in online discussions, and ONTD thinks she's in.

Lara Stone, Dutch. Chances: Dicey

Back when speculation about this cover was only just beginning to brew, The Imagist claimed it had on good authority that the eight-model cover would feature "one very unexpected choice sure to send the fashionspot nation buzzing. It must be nice for a girl to make her US Vogue debut on a cover, no?" Stone, a fashion favorite who has never been in American Vogue, fits that description perfectly. But if the 25-year-old Dutch beauty is known for being anyone's muse, aside from the designer Ricardo Tisci, it's definitely Caroline Roitfeld, the Vogue Paris editor and Wintour's ultimate frenemy. (Roitfeld dedicated an entire issue of her magazine to Lara's beauteous form only this February.) Would Wintour really want to implicitly nod to her rival's good judgment? Also, a more recent rumor has surfaced that one of the original girls was cut from the cover photo following her appearance in an editorial that Wintour thought distasteful. That could well be this one.

Karlie Kloss, American. Chances: Slim

Kloss would be the only American national on the cover, if she were to be featured. When the Lara-spiking rumors started to swirl, Kloss's was one of the first names to surface as a potential replacement. The lithe St. Louis teen is a confirmed favorite of Meisel's, and Wintour loves to be able to say she's down with the next big thing — plus, Kloss fills Stone's same niche in the lineup as the industry insiders' choice, not the mainstream girl. Kloss walked over 60 runways in a single season before even turning 16, and she's been in American Vogue several times this year already.

Arlenis Sosa, Dominican. Chances: Slim

Sosa is another model whose name has been bandied about as a possible new Stone. (Replacing girls on covers is not unusual — normally magazines shoot several cover options, and there may have been several different configurations of models shot for this one. Sometimes, airbrushing is used to just re-arrange people — rumor has it, Amber Valletta was shot separately and added later to that November '99 cover.) Why this might be unlikely? Sosa is, in case you haven't noticed, also black. And while Wintour seems increasingly keen to prove her magazine's diversity cred, she'd probably think two black cover models — Kebede and Dunn — were just plenty. Moderation in all things, that's Vogue to a T, after all.

The velvet curtain will be gently tugged back as soon as the issue hits newsstands, which should be April 21, but generally happens earlier in the major US cities. The cover will be released online a few days beforehand. For once in my life, I actually can't wait to get my hands on an American Vogue. You win this round, Anna.

SCOOP DU JOUR: US VOGUE MULTI-GIRL COVER BREWING [The Imagist]
Naomi Campbell, Vogue, Caroline Trentini [Fashionologie]
Super 8, Vogue America [RG Vogue]
SPFW Entrevista: Carol Trentini [Sao Paulo Fashion Week]
Cover Girls for May 2009 American Vogue [ONTD]

Earlier: New York Times Bets Against Anna Wintour & American Vogue
Vogue's Not Racist, Three Black Models Prove It
Is Vogue's Lebron/Kong Cover Offensive?
Self Reflection: A Bizarre & Macabre Short Story, Brought To You By Vogue

• Agyness Deyn might try hypnotism to quit smoking. She "obviously" wants to stop so she can "settle down and have babies," says a friend of her boyfriend's. Obviously that's any woman's only consideration. [Daily Mail]

• Zac Posen will see your economic negativity and raise you an ounce of creativity. "I started my business in another trying time, right after 9/11. Everyone was saying ‘don't go into business, there's no place, there's no retail world out there.' Nobody wanted to hear about a new brand. But you create your own excitement, and you create the industry, and you create the customer, and that's what is going to get this country out of this difficult time." Yes we can wear beautiful dresses! [The Cut]
• Meanwhile a rag-tag group of former i-bankers has a crazy dream to make ugly shoes from recycled trash. Which is a kind of creativity that, environment aside, I'm not sure we need. [The Street]
• Lynn Yaeger goes to fashion week on the subway. Just. Like. I. Do. [The Cut]
• "Vivica Fox came out in this full sequined gown and she had the longest hair weave of her life. It was a shock, it was inspiring to women." If you've ever wanted to enter the mind of Christian Siriano, one good way of doing so would be to read an entire column by him. Fashion week is literally amazing, guys! [Time]
• Coco Rocha, in between attending fashion shows and walking in them, is also hosting an hour-long documentary about the lives of models during the week of weeks for E! Busy girl. [Elle]
• Kelly Cutrone had a hand in getting Ashley Alexandra Dupré to Yigal Azrouël on Friday. Yigal fired her. [NYDN]
• But Cutrone still wins for sheer audacity of media tricksterhood: she introduced Dupré to an editor at an avant-garde fashion magazine who wants to shoot the ex-callgirl, like, yesterday already. So this is how you get into Dazed and Confused. [The Cut]
• Are runways this season more diverse than last? It's looking like yes. The New York Times talks to some models from Harlem and the Bronx who are glad to see the "No ethnic models" signs retired. (The story also reminded me of how I know three models who all went to the same high school somewhere in deepest Queens. Once I told one of them I was thinking of moving to Queens and she gave me this withering look and said, "By 'Queens', you probably mean, like, Astoria, or Long Island City, don't you?" I did. But at least I know where Queens is, unlike a nameless designer in Eric Wilson's piece.) [NY Times]
• Model Sessilee Lopez eats egg McMuffins and asks to take home clothes from fashion shows. [NYDN]
• Peter Som has a fall collection, even if he didn't have a show. [Fashionista]
• An angel investor in Patrick Cox's struggling handmade shoe house was caught trying to license the Patrick Cox name and trademark for profit. [Telegraph]
• Somewhere, someone built an algorithm to analyze all the acres of type churned out in fashion week coverage, and that someone is here to tell us that this season's buzz words are "chiconomics" and "Michelle Obama." And "recessionista." [UPI]
• Anna Wintour is still talking about that sequined mini-dress The Recession made her not put in Vogue. Only now, in her mind it only cost $25,000, not $50,000. Times are hard. Anybody got any idea whose dress this might be? [WSJ]
• The May cover of Wintour's magazine might actually feature some models on it, in honor of the costume institute gala at the Met, which is model-themed this year. Online speculation points to Raquel Zimmerman, Natasha Poly, Liya Kebede, Isabeli Fontana, and Natalia Vodianova as among the final choices. [Fashionologie]
• British retailers are going to change their sizing for children's clothes because of the obesity epidemic. [Telegraph]
• Which will play right into noted obesity educator Karl "No Fat Chicks" Lagerfeld's talking points. The Kaiser also has reservations about online shopping, although this one time his assistant showed him how to order books and music on Amazon.com and it wasn't so bad, he supposes. [Portfolio]
• Nastia Liukin's line of denim isn't faring well. But her leotards, sold to other gymnasts, should keep her from the poor house. [The Cut]
• Wal-Mart isn't concerned about the souring fortunes of celeb-backed labels; it's launching a new Russell Simmons line. [WWD]
• Zooey Deschanel is also getting in on the action, with a limited-edition pair of $415 Oliver Peoples sunglasses she personally designed. My snark for this project is lessened in direct proportion to the share of the profits that will go towards victims of domestic violence. [LA Times]
• Posh's dress line has slightly lowered its prices from last season. But she's not sure if it's inspired by Mad Max or Mad Men. Either way there's a gray one with a butt ruffle. [Daily Mail]
• H&M's same-store sales beat analysts' expectations by only declining 1% on last January. This is good news. [WSJ]
• Whoa. A man in Osaka threatened 11 Uniqlo employees with a knife, tied them up with packing tape, and stole 2.5 million Yen. He was arrested as he tried to escape. [Breitbart]

• McCain campaign claims that it didn't keep a lot of those Fashiongate duds: "about a third of it was returned immediately" when they didn't fit. Yes, that'd be $50,000 worth. [AP]
• Roseanne offers a McCain-Palin Hitler smiley-face tee on her website. Genocide sensitivity: ur doin it rong. [Oh No They Didn't]
• Tom Ford makes over 007: “It was time for a change and, whereas Brioni is very polished, this new Bond is edgier and darker...Tom Ford’s tailored suits work better for him.” [FT]
• Sarah Jessica Parker's hard at work on her new fragrances, Lovely Moments. "The collection will include three fragrances based on different expressions of time — Dawn, Endless and Twilight." What? [WWD]

• Moscow Fashion Week is uncharacteristically subdued. [Reuters]
• Because shopping at French Connection is a good indicator of your civic acumen, the chain is offering a 15% discount to those who can prove they voted. Seems ripe for voter fraud to me... [Nylon]
• Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell are co-hosting a Halloween party. What happens when they both come dressed as the Queen? [Fashionista]
• Quoth the creative director of Moschino: "The glossy, glamorous and cool world of fashion have never particularly fascinated me: I adore fashion and many of its representatives not for those aspects but for the creativity, the research and the effort that remains behind every collection." This translates to a front row filled with stuffed animals. [IHT]
• Zara continues to defy the market. In a good way. [Reuters]
• Ditto Avon; a gal still needs her undereye concealer. [Business Week]
• Other stalwarts? Plain white shirts. "Fun" men's shirts are out. [Telegraph]
• Tailoring, however, is in! [NY Times]
• Not to be left behind the, um, phone craze, Ralph Lauren launches an iPhone app, should you wish to gaze at madras at your whim. [MobileCrunch]
• British designer complains she can't find Size 10 (that's a U.S. 6) models to walk in her shows. "I have always been someone who would request that model agencies send me their curviest girls. But this time even they were too tiny to fill a pair of size 10 trousers and make them look great." [Guardian]
• The economy's climate of "retail darwinism" takes its toll on experimental fashion. [Portfolio]
• The carnage continues: although Elle is strong, Elle Accessories is suspended, loses four staffers. [NY Magazine]
• WWD names Natasha Poly and Lily Donaldson "the hottest models of the season." [WWD]
• Twiggy: "Just because you’re middle-aged you don’t have to live in flannel knickers!" It does mean you have to diet, apparently! [Mirror]
• "Sitting at his kitchen table recently, Mr. Siriano mused that he had a few days ahead of him with no bookings. I am like, 'Am I out? Is everyone over me?' That's kind of scary.'" Don't worry, Christian, you're fierce! [Wall Street Journal]
• Clothing line gives 400 poor little babies rashes on their backs! [USA Today]
• Alexander McQueen: "I was thinking of the British Empire...because we don't have one any more. Of course, it's not right for one nation to govern another, but I have no other mentality apart from a British mentality. We've lost our way as a nation at the moment, I think, and I wanted to unify myself with Britain throughout history, and to celebrate any heritage. The idea was to look at tradition as opposed to being anarchic." Translation? Rock necklaces. [Independent]
• Ecko employee sues over sexual harassment after a male colleague allegedly "threw a fistful of coins down into the crack of her buttocks." [NY Post]
• Lagerfeld is lukewarm on the contents of his Chanel pavilion: "The pavilion is the most exciting. Whatever may be in there—that is not my problem.” [The New Yorker]

The Good
I love Joely Richardson in this Beetlejuice-esque number.


This is supposedly Julia Restoin-Roitfeld but she looks different here, right? Whoever it is, she looks stunning.



If I had gams like Lily Donaldson, I'd sleep in this dress.


Dear Madonna, I dare you to be my BFF and give me all your hand-me-downs. (Truth: she wouldn't give me the time of day.)



Mary J. Blige can do no wrong and if you disagree with me, I will cut you.



Margharita Missoni has a great name, a great fortune, and a great dress.



Natalia gets my vote for best dress. She looks like the Chrysler building. That's a good thing!


Petra looks flawless. She was smart not to wear a necklace and direct all eye-contact to her boobs. Thank you pretty lady.


And last but not least, enter my new obsession: this couple. Sam Riley played Ian Curtis in that movie Control (which gave me like, 69 orgasms), and his girlfriend Alexandra Maria Lara was in the movie as well.




The Bad
Amira Casar, aka Frumpy Cold Medina.


Natalie Portman? More like Gnar Gnar Binks.


I love me a Juliette Lewis, but she's working a Miss Hannigan look here. I also love me a Miss Hannigan but that's beside the point.


Cecile Cassel . The hipster headband is soooo yesterday.


Natasha Poly is wearing a dress that's giving me an MC Escher vibe


Zhang Ziyi, step it up for crying out loud! "This isn't a dinner party, honey." (Name that movie)




The Ugly
Rose McGowan is wearing all the Mood leftovers that the Project Runway contestants ended up not using.


Tamara Beckwith looks like every girl who tried to beat me up in high school. In other words, she looks like an asshole from Long Island.


What happens in Vegas is incidentally what also happens to Sharon Stone when she dresses like a cougar.


Samantha Morton. Don't get me wrong, I love a good garbage bag; they're useful and what not! I just wouldn't attach sheer sleeves to mine and wear it a fancy party is all.


Orange you glad I couldn't think of anything better to write for Judith Godreche's big ugly dress?


I find it hard to believe that Milla Jovovitch thinks she looks good in this truly mediocre outfit. Plus, only 7 year olds and most of my friends can get away with wearing their hair like that.


Is it just me, or don't you think it's a little weird how Denise Rich tried this on and was like "This is it! Look out amFAR's here I come!"

[Images via Getty]