Natalie Portman on Marie Claire

Representative Quote:

She got to spend three months in France when she was 11, shooting The Professional, and on her days off her mother would take her to Monet's house in Giverny and encourage her to come home and paint a version of what she'd seen. When she traveled to Japan for the premiere of The Professional, her parents insisted on a week off to explore the country. Portman shrugs: "OK, so I didn't really go to high school parties," she says, "and yeah, I didn't touch pot till I was in my 20s. I didn't get flat-out drunk until I went to college. But I think that's a good thing in many ways."

Most Immediately Annoying Cover Line:

"Diet Or Exercise: Which Sheds The Pounds Faster?"

Largest Number On The Cover, And What It Refers To:

275. Which is either the number of brain cells you will shed reading "WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT BONKING THE BOSS?", or the number of Fabulous Finds To Start The New Year you, mere female, will need to get him in a bonking mood.

Britney Spears on Elle

Elle's Lady Gaga cover might be getting all the attention — but the January issue is actually hitting newsstands with a second cover, featuring Spears and her sons. Golf claps for Britney, everyone! Last time she tried to do an Elle shoot, something terrible happened.

Representative Quote:

Elle's Spears profile is not yet online, so let's nab another quote from Marie Claire.

A little-known fact about Portman is that for her very first acting job — as an off-Broadway understudy — she replaced Britney Spears. Needless to say, their paths have diverged wildly since then

Most Immediately Annoying Cover Line:

"DO YOU EXERCISE TO EAT? HERE'S A BETTER WAY."

Largest Number On The Cover, And What It Refers To:

175. The speed, in miles per hour, which this magazine might reach if you dropped it off a very tall building. Which would be more educational than reading about the BEST NEW SHOES, JACKETS, AND BAGS.

Lady Gaga on Elle

Representative Quote:

"I get all the symptoms of a pregnant woman. I get headaches, I get tired, I get blurred vision sometimes during a really intense session with [her creative team] the Haus."

WHEN WILL YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT THIS WOMAN IS JUST PREGNANT WITH CREATIVITY?!

Most Immediately Annoying Cover Line:

See above.

Largest Number On The Cover, And What It Refers To:

See above.

Sarah Jessica Parker on Glamour

Representative Quote:

SJP: I still will not wear turtlenecks.

GLAMOUR: Why not?

SJP: I feel like I'm having a panic attack in them. I'm so short that the little bit of height I have is taken and consumed by the turtleneck. My son won't wear them, either!

Most Immediately Annoying Cover Line:

"SO TRUE! Why The Happiest Women Aren't Perfect."

Largest Number On The Cover, And What It Refers To:

50. Could that be the number of Your Most Private Questions that you could Answer, right now, by reading Wikipedia.

Scarlett Johanson on UK Harper's Bazaar

Representative Quote:

This comes from the mouth of Bono, who is interviewed alongside Johanson, because she wears (PRODUCT) RED clothing in the accompanying fashion shoot:

"I don't give a shit how things look anymore. I just want to get the results, get the cheque signed. If it takes me looking like a totally unhip white messiah, I don't care. You do whatever it takes to get people what they need to survive. For me, it was coming home that was the hardest. Coming back to my privileged life. I used to find that really difficult. It's hard when you find yourself in such a harsh juxtaposition with somebody who's fighting for their life. It used to make me feel more awkward than it does now, being this rich rock star next to a starving African."

Most Immediately Annoying Cover Line:

Strangely, none. (The standard beauty and fashion stories look exceptionally inoffensive, or unexceptionally offensive.) Although as hard as it is to take a half dozen pages of Johanson nursing a bad case of sexyface in leopard print clothing, it's pretty odd that the cover implies she and Bono would bond over a serious consideration of music.

Largest Number On The Cover, And What It Refers To:

2010, which is the year you might finally itemize your charitable donations for tax purposes, and briefly consider writing off the cost of Johanson's Tom Waits album. Since listening to it was clearly an act of charity on your part.

Kate Hudson on US Harper's Bazaar

Representative Quote:

"With a hot new movie and major-league man, Kate Hudson seems anything but normal. But the bubbly blonde is just like the rest of us (with fancier clothes, of course)."

Major League! Get it? Get it? No, she really doesn't say anything about A-Rod:

Isn't she moving fast? "People don't know where I'm moving," she counters good-naturedly. "They're just reading psychobabble in these [tabloid] magazines." Even when confronted with the evidence — a picture of her kissing A-Rod — she gamely holds her ground. "There's a guy that's shooting probably 60 frames a minute. That was a sideswipe on the cheek. That wasn't even a kiss." So she's not in love with this guy? "I quickly kissed the cheek," she maintains. "And I remember one of the headlines the next day said, MAKEOUT SESSION. What is wrong with people?

Hahaha, she didn't actually specify "tabloid" magazines.

Most Immediately Annoying Cover Line:

Harper's Bazaar on this side of the pond is totally deficient in this category, too. "Get Gorgeous Hair" — much as our credulity doesn't stretch to believing such a thing could ever result from the use of ridiculously priced products — just doesn't raise my hackles.

Largest Number On The Cover, And What It Refers To:

562. Either New Ideas to Update Your Look (again!), or Things You Might Make If You Treated This Issue Like An Origami Project.

• Lindsay Lohan is taking legal action against Michael Lohan, who has been talking about kidnapping her and putting her in rehab. Her lawyer says she's seeking a restraining order and may file a defamation lawsuit against him. [TMZ]

• Sales for Chris Brown's comeback tour are pitiful. He used to sell out 20,000 seat arenas, but after tickets went on sale this weekend for 1,000-2,5000 seat venues many are still available. [Perez Hilton]
• At the link is a preview of Chris Brown's MTV interview that airs on Friday (hours before Rihanna's 20/20 interview). Chris says of the assault, "What was I thinking?" [MTV]
• Mariah Carey says she "can't imagine" what Rihanna went through when Chris Brown beat her. "I was very sequestered, as you know, when I first started out and if I were just allowed to be young and with a young boyfriend who's also a star and you know, you're working and you're both — I don't know what goes on," she says. "You know what I mean? So it's like, I wasn't really allowed out of the house, so I can't imagine what she went through." [Us]
• No Doubt is suing the makers of the video game Band Hero because they say they only authorized the use of their likenesses to play three No Doubt songs, but the game has "transformed No Doubt band members into a virtual karaoke circus act" by having them "sing, dance and perform over sixty songs." They're also mad because Gwen Stefani's avatar can sing with a man's voice and perform the song "Honkey Tonk Woman," which has lyrics about sleeping with prostitutes. [TMZ]
• Reps for Josh Duhamel and Fergie deny that he cheated on her saying, "This is not the first nor will it be the last time that a stripper was paid a large amount of money to sell a false story about a celebrity... This story is absolutely ridiculous." [People]
• Britney Spears paid $1.32 million in the past seven months to the lawyers who represented her conservatorship. [TMZ]
• Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are on the cover of Harper's Bazaar (despite him also being on this month's Vanity Fair). Kristen says, "Rob can barely jump rope," and this has inspired her nickname for him. "I call him Flippy because when he does his stunt rehearsals, he flips around," she says, imitating a penguin's walk. "And God, when he tries to run..." She also calls Flippy's singing "heartbreaking." [Us]
• When asked about her romance with Robert Pattinson again, Kristen Stewart told Entertainment Weekly, "I've thought about this a lot... There's no answer that's not going to tip you one way or the other. Think about every hypothetical situation: ‘Okay, we are. We aren't. I'm a lesbian.' I'm just trying to keep something. If people started asking me if I was dating Taylor, I'd be like ‘Fuck off!' I would answer the exact same way." [Entertainment Weekly]
• Sean Penn's 16-year-old son Hopper Jack won't face drug charges following his arrest last week because police have determined the pills he was carrying were actually prescription medication in his name. [Radar Online]
• Though Winona Ryder recently told BlackBook Magazine that she never got a thank you from Angelina Jolie for getting her the role in Girl, Interrupted that launched her career, Angie did thank her — in her Oscar acceptance speech. [L.A.T.]
• The National Enquirer claims Jennifer Lopez is fighting with her ex-husband Ojani Noa, who wants to release 11 hours of home movies that show her fighting with her mother, "playing sexy bedroom games," and staring at her butt in a mirror. [National Enquirer]
• Penny Marshall has been diagnosed with a brain tumor and secretly underwent brain surgery last week. This story is from the National Enquirer, so hopefully it's not true. [National Enquirer]
• Dennis Hopper says he's being treated prostate cancer with "an experimental thing at USC." He said it's "no big deal" and he "feels great." [TMZ]
• Though Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman say they broke up, they went out to a Manhattan bar on Halloween. "Staff were ordered to keep the fake Jons away from him," said a source. "Someone asked to take a picture but he said he wanted to be left alone. Once the crowds were away he and Hailey looked like a normal couple." [Us]
• Jessica Simpson and Dolly Parton are bonding over their big boobs. Dolly Tweeted: "Aahhh chiropractor... Hurts so good :-) you lug these around and see if your back don't hurt!" Jess replied: "Amen sister :)." [CNN]
• Yet another creditor's claim against Michael Jackson's estate: Atkins Thomson Solicitors in London is asking for $209,204.36 for advising MJ on the sale of Neverland. [TMZ]
• Sadie Frost says of Jude Law, "We're continuing to have a very close relationship and I'm here to support him as a friend. That won't stop. He's a wonderful person and I'll stand by him forever. For all the silliness and difficulties, we've always really cared for each other and we're both a hundred per cent committed to the kids and doing the right thing by them. Everything's fine." [Daily Express]
• The terms of the settlement between Carrie Prejean and Miss California USA have been leaked. The Pageant will pay $100,000 directly to paying her lawyers and publicists, and Carrie gets nothing but the organization's promise not to fight her for writing a book without permission. [TMZ]
• Carrie Prejean was demanding more than a million dollars in her settlement negotiations with Pageant officials, until they revealed that they have a XXX home video of Prejean that has never been released publicly. [TMZ]
• Looks like the lawsuits may be back on. Carrie Prejean's lawyer says she may sue because of the sex tape rumor. "It seems as if someone has acted in an unethical and unlawful manner by even raising this issue," said her lawyer. "We are weighing our options and if this is a breach of contract we are considering suing for punitive damages." [Radar Online]
• Terrence Howard and Taraji P. Henson insist they are not dating. "I've known her too long. She knows what I'm thinking!" says Howard. [Us]
• Frances Bean Cobain threw a tantrum when she found out there was a problem with her train ticket from Boston to New York. A source says: "She caused a huge backup on the line because she refused to pay herself. She was causing a scene and saying her name loudly to the guy behind the counter, but he had no idea who she was. Finally, she got out of line to call her business manager, who paid for her ticket." [Daily Express]
• Katy Perry says she's gotten some tips on hosting the MTV European Music Awards from her boyfriend Russell Brand, who hosted the VMAs. "We're stepping on each others turfs. I've learned a couple of things from Russell over the last months that might not be appropriate for this!" she said. [The Sun]
• Porn star Janine Lindemulder, who is fighting her ex Jesse James and Sandra Bullock over custody of her 5-year-old daughter, says she wants to sit down with Bullock as "two women" because, "It hurts tremendously, the accusation, especially from Sandra... Even more so because we've never sat down and talked. You know, that's the one thing that I wish more than anything, for a remedy for what's happening here, is just communication." [ABC News]
• Liz Hurley has launched a line of organic foods like oat and fruit bars and jerky. "It's compulsory portion control. I've never been able to chop a Jaffa Cake in half and just eat one piece," she said. [Style.com]
• A 27 foot-tall firework-filled effigy of Katie Price will be burned this weekend in England. [The Mirror]
• Robbie Williams says he though he was destined to remain a bachelor until he met American actress Ayda Field. He said: "I thought I was going to be a bachelor ... I was introduced to Ayda and things just changed - she's a wonderful person and I'm in love." [The Mirror]
• David Spade says he doesn't regret resurrecting a scene from Tommy Boy featuring Chris Farley for a DirecTV ad. Chris' brother Kevin Farley added that the commercial is "an honor to my brother." [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton says: "I'm just figuring out what my next move will be and really looking at a lot of different projects and figuring out what I want to do," now that The Beautiful Life has been cancelled. [Us]
• Farrah Fawcett's college boyfriend Greg Lott told Inside Edition that he and Farrah had rekindled their relationship and were together for the last 11 years, but Ryan O'Neal kept him from her funeral. [UPI]
• Jennifer Hudson says she's not done having kids. "Maybe one more. I'd like to have at least one more, a little girl," says Hudson. "I want a girl and then maybe another one. You know, one baby at a time." [People]
• Natalie Portman says of the role of the short shelf life imposed on actresses, "You see people who were stars five years ago and already they're waning... As actresses approach 40, it starts becoming really, really difficult." [People]
• At the link is a short film made by Richard Heene which shows the Henne family driving down a deserted road in a Jeep, and Heene playing the harmonica while a woman dances on the roof of the car." [Radar Online]
• The Kardashians charity boxing event went awry when Rob Kardashian's mask fell off and he had to be taken to the hospital. Kim Kardashian made it out with just a black eye. [E!]
• When Oprah Winfrey asked Hilary Swank if she plans to marry her boyfriend of three years John Campisi she said, "It's not something we're talking about... I don't know. We'll see." [People]
• Ryan Seacrest's production company is developing a show called Bank of Hollywood in which rich Hollywood celebrities will take pitches from ordinary people who need cash, ranging from people raising money for charity to a grad student who can't afford a ring to propose to his girlfriend. "The idea's simple," Seacrest said. "We are giving away tons of money to everyday people to alleviate the stress of today's climate and have fun." [Live Feed]
• When asked if she would like to marry Mel Gibson, Oksana Grigorieva said, "Yes, but right now we're just so happy to be having this child together." [People]
• Debi Mazar says, "Madonna and I have been friends for almost three decades — dear friends... Our children have had play dates, and we will always be friends." [Us]
• Barry Gibb of The Bee Gees says he and his brother Robin Gibb are, "Like a non-violent version of Oasis... The competition between Robin and I is so strong, we both want attention so badly, that it actually brings something better out of both of us. It's like a basketball team, one player is pushing the other to rise to a different level. If I didn't have Robin to compete with, I wouldn't be able to do what I do." [The Telegraph]
• Jeremy Piven's rep says his recent comments on growing man boobs were taken out of context. "[Piven's comment] was taken from a silly Q&A piece that he did for a U.K. [movie] magazine called Empire," said his rep. Piven's rep. "They asked him, 'How much is a pint of milk?' to which he responded, 'I don't have a clue.' He said he used to drink soy milk, found out it had too much estrogen, made a funny remark about growing breasts and that was it." [TV Guide]
• Anti-rape activist Gabrielle Union says of the Richmond gang rape case: "I'm sad more than anything. After googling the gang rape story in Richmond and reading comments on blogs, it just leaves me sickened and really sad. The fact that race and socio-economics have been used to explain away a brutal gang rape...just sad...maybe I just have seen every kind of rapist and survivor...every race, color, religion, socio-economic status group...it's all the same...a lack of regard for violence against women. Tolerated, and in this case encouraged by the mob surrounding the perps...laughing, joking and taking pics." [Shakesville]
• Dustin Hoffman says his favorite memory of the New York Public Library is, "It's the first place I ever got laid... It was in the nonfiction section in 1958." When asked if he was being serious he replied, "I wasn't serious, but she was." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Alec Baldwin said he's heard about less than 5,000 people watching 30 Rock when it premiered in Germany. "It was so low that we didn't even have a rating," he said. "We didn't even get one rating point... We have work to do in Germany." [N.Y.T.]
• Alec Baldwin started a rumor about Julianne Moore guest starring on 30 Rock by saying, "I won't say who it is, but someone very near to us who may be coming on to play my girlfriend for four episodes," while standing near her on the red carpet. [E!]
• Hugh Jackman praised the the two men taking over as Oscar hosts this year, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, saying, "They are both fantastic. Steve actually gave me a lot of funny hints last year ... I rang him and he was really helpful. He is really funny and he knows what he's doing. He's done this before. Alec Baldwin is also a true genius. I think the both of them together have hosted Saturday Night Live like 100 times, so you know they must be funny." [N.Y. Magazine]
• "Living in New York, I feel stronger and more like a woman than ever before. In high school, it was like, what power do I have - I have long blonde hair, you know? But working as hard as I do now, I feel a sense of power and respect, too. And I've learned an incredible amount about fashion on Gossip Girl. Clothes are a personal expression, and my style is as ever-changing as I am: I'm growing, maturing, developing, I'm going through new things in my life, and with that, what I choose to wear changes." — Blake Lively [Just Jared]
• When UK Glamour asked Leighton Meester if she's a "good girlfriend," she said, "I don't know... it's not really the goal of my existence." [ONTD]
• Woody Allen has explained how you can tell whether one of his films is good or bad. "If I look at the film and it's no good, I don't like to give it an aggressive title, I give it ... the kind of title that is low-key and promises nothing, so people are less disappointed by it." As for his next film You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger he says, "Well, that was a very aggressive title, so you can hope that it's a good movie. If I didn't think it was a good film, I would give it a quiet one-word title to deflect attention from it - so now you know the secret." [N.Y. Magazine]

• Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel: Photographed holding hands on Monday. A source says they've been vacationing together in Santa Barbara; As for Justin and Rihanna?

They're just "working on a track together." [Page Six]

• Mariah Carey stumbled coming out of a restaurant late at night, but was she drunk? Or just wearing 7-inch Louboutins? [Page Six]
• Harvard kids: Stalked Emma Watson when she came for a football game; thought it was hilarious. [Page Six]
• A whole column of unsolicited uterus updates! Kate Hudson: Not pregnant. Halle Berry: Not pregnant ("I've got to stop with the burgers or something!"). Penelope Cruz: asked if she was pregnant, but "answered no — in a rather baroque, roundabout way." [Gatecrasher]
• This column calls Britney Spears' new track, "3," "maddeningly repetitive." [NY Daily News]
• Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson keep being seen in public together, because ZOMG Twilight is real. [People]
• Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil have been writing cutesy notes to each other on Facebook. A sample: "Love you too innit and vairvair proud of youse, know dis lioness civilishous. X" [The Sun]
• Add Penelope Cruz, Harrison Ford, Gael Garcia Bernal and Natalie Portman to the list of people crying "Free Roman Polanski." [Shakesville]
• "John Travolta testified Wednesday that would-be extortionists threatened to go the media with stories implying 'the death of my son was intentional and I was culpable somehow.'" [CNN]
• Kate Gosselin thinks Jon Gosselin's divorce delay is a publicity stunt; I think it has to do with making sure any TLC cash gets split up properly. [MSNBC via Radar Online]
• Wait, what?!?! "Jon Gosselin has put TLC, the cable network behind Jon & Kate Plus 8, on notice to 'cease and desist' any television production of the show and leave his property." [ET]
• Miley Cyrus has a sore throat. Will she be able to do her concert dates? [Mirror]
• Randy and Evi Quaid — who were accused of ditching a $10,000 bill at the San Ysidro Ranch — claim they never got the bill because they moved. They have now paid. [TMZ]
• Kevin Federline: Gaining weight on purpose, so he can get ready for Celebrity Fit Club. A source says: "He thinks that if he goes on the show, loses a ton of weight, and seems really likeable, he'll get more deals afterward." Probably true. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Melissa Ethereridge played on an airplane — 10,000 feet in the air — to help raise money for The Breast Cancer Research Foundation. Looks like he peeps in her audience were wearing pink! [People]
• GLAAD likes Glee. So do I! [NY Daily News]
• Jermaine Jackson is going to judge a new BBC talent show called Move Like Michael Jackson. Too soon? [Reuters]
• Joe Francis might lose his house — over a gambling debt. YAWN. [TMZ]
• Alyssa Milano thinks $3 is too much to pay for a Twitter iPhone app; the "iPhone developer community" is amused, yet angry. [Business Insider]
• In a battle between Jay-Z and Fat Joe, Jigga wins. [Page Six]
• Conan O'Brien is sorta banned from Newark Airport. [NY Daily News]
• Two weeks after giving birth, Ellen Pompeo hit a sneaker party in L.A. and announced: "I feel great." [People]
• Congrats to Will Ferrell and his wife, who are expecting their third child. [People]
• Mindy McCready, who was on Celebrity Rehab with Mackenzie Phillips, says she "absolutely" believes that Phillips had an incestuous relationship with her father and "Nobody has the right to say what they do or don't believe unless they know her." [UPI]
• Kevin Dillon: Seen flirting with women who were not his wife. [Page Six]
• Pete Doherty will be on trial in December after being charged with driving a car erratically over the summer. This story notes: "He has yet to plead to a charge of being over the legal alcohol limit while at the wheel." [Reuters]
• Male model Jamie Burke, Mark Ronson, Milla Jovovich, Simon Le Bon and Marion Cotillard are covering the song "Beds Are Burning"for the Time for Climate Justice campaign. [Page Six]
• "Former INXS and Noiseworks frontman Jon Stevens' condition has "deteriorated" nearly three weeks after emergency heart surgery." [News.com.au]
• Get well soon, Dennis Hopper. [Page Six]
• "It drives me crazy… It's just very hard to get a day's work done and concentrate." — Sarah Jessica Parker, on filming SATC on the streets of NYC with mobs of fans. [NY Daily News]
• "Honestly, I never thought I'd live this long. I always thought that I wouldn't be here at this point. I was thinking, 'Okay, I've got another year of my life left. This has got to be the end of it. Finally, [Nick] was like, "Stop talking like that." — Mariah Carey. [NY Daily News via In Touch]
• "I mean, a zombie movie? Come on. There are good zombie movies -I Am Legend and 28 Days Later- but those are the exceptions. Then I read it and I was absolutely knocked out. I thought it was just so funny and compelling." —Woody Harrelson, on Zombieland. [USA Today]
• "I always sort of cringe when people say, you're that creepy guy. Sinister I can live with, that's fine. But creepy is like someone you wouldn't sit next to at a diner. I'm probably being sensitive about it." — Michael Emerson, aka Lost's Ben Linus. [MSNBC via PopEater]
• "I'm a parent, but I always considered that slightly separate from my work. And, suddenly, I'm reading this script that really explores parenting. I felt very involved with it, because I've got two young girls and I could relate to an awful lot of it. Often, I find family movies a little cute and not very real. This felt honest." — Clive Owen on new film The Boys Are Back. [USA Today]
• TOC: You've also said, "I related to a girl who, against all odds, finds her inner strength and believes she can do what boys do." Have you felt yourself working against the odds in a Hollywood boys' club? "No, I really don't, and I actually find those women-I'm like, get that bitter, ugly, unattractive chip off your shoulder. I'm doing what any guy could be doing, and I don't do it by needing to wear a power suit. Women have made incredible strides; we're in a really balanced or better-balanced culture, and we should be celebrating that…rather than, like, 'Oh, men have all the power.' I'm like, 'Oh, boo-hoo, shut up, make it happen for yourself and get over it.'" — Drew Barrymore. [Time Out Chicago]

• Nadya Suleman is finally getting a "quasi-reality" show. She's reportedly "hoping to have an arrangement whereby several events in the children's lives would be filmed in a documentary series," says her attorney, Jeff Czech. [JustJared]

• Meanwhile, Jon Gosselin's mother, Pamela, says her son's story will never be told correctly. "I don't think he will ever be portrayed fairly. It's always twisted." [Star]
• Denzel Washington says his Taking of Pelham 1-2-3 co-star John Travolta is still struggling over the loss of his son, Jett. "What can you say, really? Just be there as a friend, because he's such a sweet, sweet person. Our prayers are with he and his wife. [People]
• Mike Tyson is also suffering after the tragic death of his 4-year-old daughter, Exodus. "I think he's at a point where he can deal with it," says LaLa Vasquez, one of the producers of Tyson, "But I don't care how confident you are in yourself: This is a crusher. With maturity and age and everything he went through, he will be able to pull this through for his family. He will make it through this. But, man, what else can happen to him?" [People]
• ABC News Now actually interviewed Hello Kitty for SIX MINUTES. Does she even have a mouth?! [Videogum]
• Britney Spears is being sued by a paparazzi photographer after she ran over his foot in 2007. [E!]
• Rose McGowan will star in an upcoming adaptation of The Bell Jar. "My character's name is Doreen," McGowan says, "She's kind of a 50's magazine girl from New York, it's really fun. We're shooting in South Africa most likely. I've never been there, so I'm really excited." [JustJared]
• Natalie Portman, meanwhile, has signed on to star in a comedy alongside James Franco and Danny McBride called "Your Highness." [Variety]
• Blind Item: "This very A list singer is starting to get very peeved at another pop star. Although each individual's music could be considered in different genres, the source says that our A list singer takes issue with this British Tart's outrageous fashion sense. Our A list musician was doing the strange outfits first and can't believe the attention this new up-and-comer is getting. She claims she will rave about her in future interviews if asked about it, but secretly she is fuming." [BlindGossip]
• Jay Leno delivered his final Tonight Show monologue last night, thanking Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton for helping the show become successful...and apparently for giving him outdated jokes to tell for the past 10 years. [People]
• The Killers' Brandon Flowers and his wife Tana, are expecting their second child. Congrats! [People]
• Michael Jackson is reportedly "terrified" of his recent skin cancer diagnosis and is "convinced that his nose is going to fall off." [TheSun]
• Want to watch Susan Boyle's final performance on Britain's Got Talent tonight? Here are a few tips to help you catch the show. [Yahoo]
• Despite the stress caused by her sudden rise to fame, Boyle says she's in it to win it: "I want nothing more than to stay and sing in the Britain's Got Talent final. I've spent weeks rehearsing - it's all I've been thinking about. I'm not going to throw away my big chance now." [DailyMail]
• "I think by entering the Miss USA pageant, she made herself a public figure. If a civilian were to answer that question, would I think the response that she got was appropriate? No. But when you become a tabloid figure, which she did, the rules change."- Perez Hilton [Time]
• The child actors from Slumdog Millionaire have been offered new homes by the Indian government. Danny Boyle recently announced that he was buying new apartments for the children after learning that their homes had been torn down. [DailyExpress]
• "I don't declare myself as one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood. That's other people's label."-Cameron Diaz [ONTD]

• In case you were wondering what "the lowest of the low" looks like: tabloid reporters allegedly checked Brooke Shields' 75-year-old mother, Teri, out of an assisted living facility in order to get a story. [People]

• Shields claims that two reporters from the National Enquirer pretended to be friends of her mother, who suffers from dementia, in order to check her out of the facility. "They then drove my 75-year-old mother around looking for a tabloid story," says Shields, "As anyone knows who has a parent who suffers from dementia or Alzheimer's, it is one of the most difficult experiences you can go through as a son or daughter. The idea that the National Enquirer took advantage of her state is reprehensible and disgusting." [People]
• Natalie Portman denies the rumors that she is dating Sean Penn: "Sean Penn is a friend and colleague. The reports that we are romantically involved are completely untrue. I normally do not respond to rumors about my private life, however, this repeatedly fabricated story has forced me to do so." [USWeekly]
• "Everybody has the right to vocalize their own opinion. Me personally-I think that everybody deserves equal rights, it's really as simple as that."-Kristen Dalton, Miss USA 2009. [E!]
• Britney Spears reportedly spent over 10 million dollars between February and December of last year, including $625,000 that went to pay Kevin Federline's lawyers. The court documents refer to these payments as "Federline Fees." Ugh. Haven't we all paid our Federline Fees at this point? [TMZ]
• A source claims that Michael Jackson is currently battling skin cancer: "Michael's test showed spots of skin cancer on his body, and cell which could turn to skin cancer on his face," says the source, "He was at first very concerned, but says he has been assured by the doctors that they can treat this and he will recover." [DailyMail]
• "To be a contemporary movie actor, you have to kill people - that's basically it. If you don't cock'n'load'n'fire a Smith & Wesson at some point in your film career, you're not going to have a film career. There just aren't enough movies that I like to keep me working in movies all the time. Well, let me rephrase that: there aren't enough available parts.""-Ethan Hawke [Guardian]
• An employee of the restaurant Justin Timberlake formerly owned, Southern Hospitality, has filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against the current owners, claiming that her fellow employees forced her to watch "pornography while in a locked room... and made fun of her when she began crying." [TMZ]
• "In keeping with the great tradition of stars like Madonna and Cher who are on a first-name-only basis with their fans, I've decided to go by the name of 'Heidi.'"- Heidi Montag Pratt [E!]
• Spencer Pratt's take: "Legally, she's a Pratt. But to her fans she is 'Heidi.' I totally support my beautiful wife-no matter what she calls herself." Related: I would like to know how the reporter kept a straight face after Spencer said, "Legally, she's a Pratt." [E!]
• Gwen Stefani is looking forward to touring with No Doubt: "We're from Anaheim. This is cliche to say, but we never thought this would happen to us. We built a studio in the garage, and now we're driving around on tour with a bus that has a studio in it. We survived it all and we're still friends, and that's great." [Reuters]
• In a video that is slightly reminiscent of my own childhood experience with reading Where The Wild Things Are for the first time, Spike Jonze scares the daylights out of a small child by wearing a mask from the film. [Filmdrunk]
• "Whatever passes for normal for me is very important, otherwise there's nothing to feed what I write about. My lyrics have always been fairly straightforward. They're very narrative-based; there's not much room for interpretation. Therefore my songs have to be about something. So my real life is precious."-Jarvis Cocker [TimesOnline]
• Former Bachelorette Jen Schefft has married her non-tv-show related fiance, Joe Waterman. [USWeekly]
• A source claims that Kelly Bensimon regrets signing on to The Real Housewives of New York: "She realizes it was a mistake," says the source, "It has ruined her socially. She knows how bad she came off." Bensimon, however, denies the claims: "I think that's laughable. I had a fabulous experience on the show. My friends love me and had a ball watching me." [PageSix]
• Vanessa Hudgens on her upcoming non-Disney role: "People I think are going to be genuinely shocked,'' Hudgens said. ''It's about these girls in a mental institution that in their heads gets turned around to be a brothel. And in the meanwhile they are kicking serious ass." But will there be a choreographed dance number? [NYTimes]

• Leighton Meester and Blake Lively share an ice cream cone on Rolling Stone's new cover. The girl-on-girl antics continue inside, with the girls sucking on a Twizzler and each other's thumbs.

• The rest of the Gossip Girl cast gets away with having a clothed pillow fight and cuddling in bed together. [Gothamist, Rolling Stone]
• New York Magazine points out that they've already photographed the cast in a big white bed together (and done it better). [NY Magazine]
• Love lockdown! Kanye West has been charged with misdemeanor battery, grand theft and vandalism over destroying a paparazzo's camera on video at LAX in September. [AP]
• Liz Smith says she was told Natasha Richardson is "dead". Though that hasn't been confirmed, Smith says moving her to Lenox Hill was a bad sign and that, earlier this afternoon, she was taken off life support. An insider says: "Nobody goes to Lenox Hill who is really sick; if she'd had a chance to live, they'd have found another great brain hospital!" [Wowowow]
• Supposedly medics on the ambulance that transported Natasha Richardson said she was brain dead. A source said she was "unconscious," her pupils "non-reactive," her skin was "pale" and she was suffering from "major head trauma." Liam Neeson reportedly held her hand the entire time and caressed her face during the ride. [TMZ]
• Subscribers will get a copy of Entertainment Weekly with Paul Rudd on the cover, but the mag put Natasha Richardson on the cover being sold on newsstands. [ONTD]
• A judge has ordered Adnan Ghalib to stay away from Britney Spears for three years. [TMZ]
• Is Bruce Willis marrying his girlfriend, model Emma Heming? The National Enquirer says the wedding is going down this weekend in some "exotic location." [Perez Hilton]
• Eddie Cibrian is denying the rumors that he's having an affair with LeAnn Rimes. Supposedly he told a friend: "LeAnn and I are friends, we went to dinner, that's it. The most ridiculous thing is that people believe I would do something like this period … much less do it in a public place. The false accusations are obviously causing a rift at home, but me and my family will get through this together." The security camera photos printed in Star today (which you can read about in Midweek Madness) paint a different picture. [Perez Hilton]
• LeAnn Rimes issued a statement on her website and she isn't denying the affair. She writes: "This is a difficult time for me and my loved ones, but I appreciate all your continued support.
  I would like to assure all of you that this is a place for you to hear things directly from me and as you all know, not everything in our lives is always black and white." [Perez Hilton]
• Dean Sheremet, LeAnn Rimes' husband, Twittered today, "I love my wife!!!" [Perez Hilton]
• John Mayer isn't writing a tell all book about Jennifer Aniston, as the cover of Star Magazine claims. Mayer's rep says: "Even for them, its a new low. They've dressed themselves up but they're no better than the Enquirer. Despite their low standards it's still not ok to make up stories and print them. Unfortunately, while we're considering legal action, Star Magazine is already at work on next week's cover story about some reality tv star's secret marriage to Elvis." [Perez Hilton]
• A remake of the film Arthur is in the works and producers want Russell Brand to play the title role with Sir Anthony Hopkins as his wise-cracking butler. [The Daily Express]
• Sean Stewart, son of Rod Stewart and Celebrity Rehab cast member, appeared on Judge Jeanine Pirro and said his dad is "very cheap." [The Daily Mail]
• Jessica Lange fell yesterday at her Minnesota cabin. She grabbed for a railing that was not secure and fell over, breaking her shoulder and collarbone and dislocating her arm. She received treatment at a local hospital. [TMZ]
• Pink and husband Carey Hart are indeed back on. They were seen exiting her tour bus together in Berlin. [Perez Hilton]
• Andrew Morton says that the drama surrounding whether or not Prince William is engaged to Kate Middleton has a decidedly retro feel. He writes: "Whatever becomes of Kate Middleton, she will always be marked by the man she knew rather than what she knows. If Michelle Obama seems the acme of social modernity and progress, the romance of Kate and William harks back to another arcane era." [The Daily Beast]
• When asked if she plans to have more kids, Jennifer Lopez said, "Let me work just a little bit first. Let me get a couple things out there... one song, one movie, something ... I like [need] to recuperate." [The Star]
• Eric Nies from the first Real World: New York spotted a puppy drowning and stripped naked to jump in the partially frozen lake and save the dog. There are pictures. [TMZ]
• In this video Martha Stewart says she still isn't coping with the loss of her dog Ghenghis Khan in a freak propane tank explosion last week. [TMZ]
• Audrina Patridge is getting her very own Hills spinoff. [Perez Hilton]
• Designing Women is coming out on DVD. [Entertainment Weekly]
• Heavily pregnant PETA members posed naked in cages to protest against chef Jaime Oliver, who urged people to buy British pork rather than pork raised overseas under worse conditions. Oliver's rep says he's a big supporter of animal welfare and his restaurants serve pork from "the happiest pigs you can get." Peta representatives say: "The answer to saving pigs is not to buy British pork, it's to go vegetarian." [The Telegraph]
• Brad Pitt and Natalie Portman will star in a film adaptation of the book Important Artifacts and Personal Property from the Collection of Lenore Doolan and Harold Morris, Including Books, Street Fashion, and Jewelry The book looks like a Sotheby's estate auction catalog, with 325 entries and photographs of items that tell the story of the relationship between a fictitious a 40ish photographer (Pitt) and a New York Times food columnist in her late 20s (Portman). [Variety]
• Everyone is angry that British tabloid OK! put out a tribute to dying reality star Jade Goody even though she's still alive - except Jade. The magazine put out a statement saying: "Jade's family have spoken to OK! today to reiterate that they understand the tribute issue and view it as being very kind to Jade." [The Mirror]
• Kim Kardashian is one the cover of Russian Playboy. [The Sun]
• Um, here are the NSFW photos of Kim Kardashian from inside Russian Playboy. [ONTD]
• Robert Pattinson says that even before he started acting he always thought he was a fraud and was faking his emotions. He says: "I remember when I was a teenager thinking my girlfriend was cheating on me, and going around riling myself up. Pretending to cry. It was totally illegitimate-I actually didn't feel anything. I went to some pub and then went crying all the way home. And I got into my dog's bed. I was crying and holding on to the dog. I woke up in the morning, and the dog was looking at me like, ‘You're a fake.' ... I thought I'd seen her with another guy, but she wasn't even there. I spent three days apologizing to the dog." [GQ]
• Prince Williams went on a U.K. children's show and said his patronage of London's Royal Marsden Hospital is something that would make mom proud. "For a very long time my mother was involved with the Royal Marsden, and she had a very close connection with them ... So I wanted to follow in her footsteps, in that sense, and help." Diana opened the children's unit in 1993 and Prince William is supporting the building of a Children's and Teenage Cancer Centre. [People]
• Michael Sheen, who played Tony Blair in The Queen and David Frost in Frost/Nixon says playing so many real people has taken its toll. "Have I got an identity crisis? Yeah, I don't know who I am really. You give me a script and then, I'm that," said Sheen. [The Star]
• 50 Cent has a backhanded compliment for Sean Combs in King magazine. He says: "Puffy has the best model for staying relevant, because [he does it] without a song. He's been able to maintain an interest and stay in a space to executive produce television and film projects, and stay relevant to hip-hop culture. What was the last record that made you feel like, ‘Oh, my God, Puffy is on fire'? You don't need it. That's what makes his business model exciting to me." [Perez Hilton]

• Would Kate Winslet pose for Playboy? Will Angelina adopt Miley Cyrus? Was Natalie Portman flirting with Robert Pattinson? Wherever the stars go, dirt is sure to follow.

• In this video taken at an Oscar party, Lindsay Lohan doesn't seem quite right. She talks about her new spray tan line for Sephora, claims she didn't know Rihanna has the same "shh ..." tattoo before she got hers, and says it's "like a woman empowerment thing." [E!]
• In a new video Nadya Suleman and her mom Angela fight about Nadya's decision to have octuplets. We'd ask why they decided to have this very private argument filmed and given to Radar to post online, but did anything about this story ever make sense? [Radar]
• Rihanna celebrated her 21st birthday with friends. They went to see Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail then went to a birthday party in the Hollywood Hills. A party guest says: "She was a bit shy at first and kept her glasses on most of the night. But once she saw her old crew and got used to being out, she really got into it. She was even dancing! ... You could tell she was happy to be out. She needed it." [Life and Style]
• The restraining orders against Britney Spears' former manager Sam Lufti and former boyfriend Adnan Ghalib have been extended until Wednesday so a judge can hear testimony from Britney's dad Jaime this afternoon. [Extra]
• The chief executive of the German studio where The Reader was shot says Kate Winslet them a secret thank you by holding on to her ear during her acceptance speech. [Bild]
• Hugh Hefner is offering Kate Winslet a spot on the cover of Playboy and a nude spread inside. Kate may have won an Oscar, but of course, posing in Playboy would mean she's truly arrived. [The Sun]
• A source who worked behind the scenes at the Oscars says Brad-Angelina-Aniston showdown was a non-issue. "I think it's safe to say that everyone involved has moved on. It wasn't even really a topic of conversation," said the source. However, the camera guy was told to cut to Brad and Angie while Aniston was presenting. "We did need ratings, after all," said the source. [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Aniston is moving to New York. Could it be because John Mayer lives in NYC?! (Nope, she's just in town to film a movie.) [FOX News]
• Miley Cyrus is sad that she didn't get to see Anglina Jolie at the Oscars. Earlier she said of Angelina, "She's beautiful...she could, like, adopt me!" Miley was talking to Ryan Seacrest - could that be why Angie snubbed her? [ONTD]
• Here are some snippets of backstage gossip from the Oscars: in the Spanish bit at the end of Penelope Cruz's speech she dedicated her Oscar to her fellow actors and citizens in Spain and thanked them for sharing in her happiness. There was an audible gasp in the press room when they cut to Brad and Angie while Aniston was on stage. Dustin Lance Black, the Original Screenplay winner for Milk said he wanted to "pay it forward" by giving his pro-gay rights acceptance speech. Tearing up, he told a reporter, "Harvey gave me his story, and it saved my life…I just wanted to tell those kids out there it'll be all right." [Yahoo]
• At the Vanity Fair party Elton John sat in the back of the room with Joan and Jackie Collins, "like a campier version of the Three Musketeers." Madonna hosted a party with Demi Moore at the home of her manager, Guy Oseary. She and Jesus Luz parked themselves on a sofa as Samantha Ronson DJed and Lindsay Lohan danced nearby. [WWD]
• Kate Beckinsale, Victoria Beckham, Sharon Stone, Quincy Jones, Claire Danes, Taye Diggs and Russell Simmons, attended Elton John's AIDS Foundation Oscar viewing party. Guests were talking about the potential actor's strike. [WWD]
• Natalie Portman was reportedly flirting with Robert Pattinson at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party. This information comes from a Pattinson "pal" who added that Pattinson overcame his nervousness with the help of "whiskey and Natalie Portman," so maybe not so much. [E!]
• Sean Penn says he purposely left wife Robin Wright Penn out of his acceptance speech because they both knew there wouldn't be enough time to mention family. [Perez Hilton]
• Nicky Hilton made a citizen's arrest at IHOP yesterday. She was pushed to the ground outside the restaurant by a homeless man. A cop was inside on a coffee break and made a real arrest. [Us]
• Though Nicholas Cage once successfully sued Kathleen Turner for accusing him of drunk-driving and theft in her autobiography, she says they're friends now. [The Daily Express]
• Former Spice Girl Melanie C gave birth to a baby girl on Sunday named Scarlett Starr. [Perez Hilton]
• A court has refused to dismiss Jackson Browne's lawsuit against John McCain for using his song "Running on Empty" in a web video from the Ohio Republican Party. [Politico]
• Debra Messing has dropped Rachel Zoe as her stylist. Cameron Diaz and other clients are apparently "getting very upset" that Zoe's Bravo show is getting in the way of her other work. [NY Magazine]
• John Sayles has been hired to write an HBO series based on the childhood of Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman Anthony Kiedis. [Variety]
• Joss Stone has been dumped by her 19-year-old boyfriend. Supposedly the boatbuilder couldn't take Joss always being away on tour. [The Sun]
• Frieda Pinto will star in Woody Allen's next film. Are Scarlett Johansson's days numbered? [The Daily Express]
• Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin, and Anthony Hopkins will also star in Woody's new film, which starts filming this summer. [Variety]
• Beyonce is holding a "Single Ladies" dance video contest. Contestant must adhere to the choreography in the original video. The winner will get $2,500 in cash and have the video shown on Beyonce's upcoming world tour. Are Justin Timberlake and the guys from SNL eligible? [UPI]
• Amy Winehouse may make St. Lucia her home. She's been there for months and has no plans to return to the U.K. [People]
• Madonna sent boxes of her 3-year-old son David's clothes, toys, and books back to his former orphanage with a label that read "from David Ritchie to friends at Home of Hope – Malawi." The packages also included autographed copies of Madonna's children's book. [People]
• TCM will be playing Ronald Reagan's 31 movies on Wednesday nights in March as part of a tribute to the former president. His daughter, Patti Davis will host. [UPI]
• A judge has granted Peter Falk's daughter a 30 minute supervised meeting with her father. Recently she unsuccessfully tried to establish a conservatorship over her father. [USA Today]
• Deborah Gibson didn't sell her $1.275 million dollar home because she's having money troubles, she's just moving in with her boyfriend. Or so her publicist says. [Perez Hilton]
• Dan Aykroyd says that hopefully, Ghostbusters 3 will be in production by "late fall 2009." Two writers from The Office penned the script and Bill Murray is on board. [NY Magazine]
• An upcoming Grey's Anatomy script makes it seem that Patrick Dempsey is leaving the show, but sources say McDreamy is actually staying. More spoilery details are available here. [E!]
• Rapper N.O.R.E., formerly known as Noreaga, was arrested on Sunday after punching another customer at a Miami Beach Fatburger and yelling, "Do you know who I am?" [Perez Hilton]
• Mickey Rourke says he's getting a new chihuahua this week and he's going to name it Oscar. [Radar]
• Mel Gibson says he called Britney during her crazy times: "She's a nice kid, ya know. She was just going through a rough patch. You see kids that you know in the industry… I just felt like this poor kid she's lining up to be stoned. I just thought, 'I wonder if anyone is reaching out to her,' so I just called her and she's doing great now." Heath also said he thinks he should have called Heath Ledger, which actually would have made more sense than calling Brit since they worked together on The Patriot. [Perez Hilton]

• Wow, Lindsay Lohan and Sean Penn nuzzled at a private dinner for Milk last week. Samantha Ronson was not present. What does it all mean? [Fox 411]
• Photographs of Jennifer Aniston in a wet T-shirt with a "visible breast" are in a calendar, but a spokesperson says, "I don't think this is legal." [Times Of India]
• In this interview to promote Marley & Me, Jennifer Aniston gets pissy about her personal life, and when asked about the "difficult times," Owen Wilson walks out. [USA Today]
• Oh, dear: Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, wants $1.6 million to walk away from the marriage and not write a tell-all book. All together now: What kind of fuckery is this? [Perez Hilton]
• Another divorce payout: Madonna will reportedly give Guy Ritchie about £32 million in cash and prizes. [Telegraph]

• In this interview, Brtiney's mom, Lynne Spears, says she almost called her autobiography All My Fault. "I can laugh about it now, but did I feel that way at the time? Yes, I did and, if I'm being totally honest, I still do," she says. Lynne also talks about being worried that Britney will kill herself, the conservatorship and what's missing in Britney's life. [Daily Mail]
• David Beckham was being followed by paparazzi, so he and his bodyguard got out of the car and started punching photographers through the other car's window. [E!]
• Click to see a picture of David Beckham bungee jumping in New Zealand! [Mirror]
• Mary-Kate Olsen: Not pregnant, which makes it okay that she was in Miami, "smoking and drinking vodka cocktails all night." [Page Six]
• Ouch! Man Vs. Wild host Bear Grylls injured his shoulder in Antarctica during an expedition to raise money for charity. [CNN]
• What does Scarlett Johansson want for Christmas? Tickets to Barack Obama's inauguration ball! [Mirror]
• Is 42-year-old Janet Jackson knocked up? [Perez Hilton]
• Heath Ledger was posthumously named best actor by the Australian Film Institute for his role in The Dark Knight. [Reuters]
• Heidi Montag's mom suggested maybe Heidi was drugged before she married Spencer Pratt; Heidi says: "I want to make it very clear to family, friends and fans that the decision to marry Spencer was very much mine." Ugh, we know. [Contact Music]
• Perez Hilton has a book, you guys. Inside, predictions such as: "Britney will be probably be dead. I believe she came pretty close to the stripper pole in the sky the last time she hit rock bottom." And! Nicole Richie "will be really fat in her old age. Her body will rebel and she’ll weigh almost 180 lbs. OMG!" [Gatecrasher]
• America Ferrera will be the master of ceremonies at a debt-retirement "conversation" with Hillary Clinton. The Senator has $7.5 million in campaign debt, yikes. [MSNBC]
• Poor Barbra Streisand got a kiss from President Bush, whom she loathes, at the Kennedy Center honors. [NY Post]
• In an interview with Gwyneth Paltrow and her friend/trainer, Tracy Anderson (who also trains Madonna), Gwynnie reveals: "When I was about 25, I started doing ashtanga yoga every day. I did Pilates for a while and was always disciplined about it, but I never got the results I get with this. After my first 10 days I lost 11 inches!" [Gotham Magazine]
• Want Kanye West to appear at an after-party? Better have $40,000. [News.com.au]
• If you have $8.5 million, you can scoop up Jennifer Lopez's Bel Air estate. [TMZ]
• Jamie Foxx jokes that he's trying to pick out Barack Obama's Christmas puppy right now: "I think I'm going to get him a pitbull, we just got to keep it street." [Yahoo News]
• Lily Allen "swaps grungy guys for a more mature gent": She went to the ballet with her grandfather. [Mirror]
• Oh, and Lily Allen is sticking up for Amy Winehouse: "Yes, she does get out of her mind on drugs sometimes, but she is also a very clever, intelligent, witty, funny person who can hold it together. I mean, there aren't that many people with whom the press concentrate on their personality so much. I think in the UK, as far as females go, it's mainly me and her that get that treatment. She gets it more than I do. But I don't see it that much with other people." [Mirror]
• Keanu Reeves is trying to quit smoking. "I didn't even start until I was 30," he says. "Now it's a prison. I want to stop." [Daily Mail]
• Due to the economy, Kate Hudson is having a handmade Christmas: "We've always been pretty crafty anyway," she says. "We all knit. The girls knit. This year I’m doing these great big knit… Well, actually I shouldn’t even talk about it because I can’t say it!" [People]
• Wow, Catherine Hardwicke, who directed Twilight, won't be directing the sequel. What will become of the fangless, unscary vampires now? [EW]
• Terri Seymour on her breakup with Simon Cowell: "Simon will be a hard act to follow. But on the bright side at least I will be able to use the mirror. He used to take forever in the mornings." [Mirror]
• Suri Cruise is a budding artist. [Daily Mail]
• Dame Judi Dench was presented with a lifetime achievement award by The European Film Academy at a gala in Copenhagen, Denmark. [UPI]
• Jonny Lee Miller's wife, Michele Hicks, gave birth to a baby boy, Buster Timothy Miller. Will Buster get to play with the Jolie-Pitt kids? Jonny is still friends with ex-wife Angelina Jolie, right? [Yahoo News]
• Another day, another stalker: Alyssa Milano is seeking a temporary restraining order against a man who hiked miles to try and reach her and has displayed "increasingly threatening behavior." [AP]
• Chris Klein and Ginnifer Goodwin: Splitsville. [ET]
• Uterus news: Eric Dane says he and wife Rebecca Gayheart are "trying" to have kids. [ET]
• Another important message from Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones. [Funny Or Die]
• Blind item! "Which supposedly straight funnyman keeps getting caught in West Village dives propositioning men by opening his legs and winking? We hear the B-lister had a few takers." [Gatecrasher]
• 'Tis the season? There are six Holocaust-themed movies this winter. [Page Six]
• The Fonz, Henry Winkler, had terrible dyslexia: "I'd look at a menu, which I couldn't read, then ask what everyone else was having and choose from that. Or if I was out with a girl I'd tell her I loved the way she spoke and get her to read the whole menu to me. I got through life by listening very carefully to what people said and learning that way. As I got older I learned to ask for help." [Daily Mail]
• Is Danity Kane/Hairspray's Aubrey O'Day gay? [Page Six]
• "I'm 41. Everybody says I'd be dead. Well, I wouldn't be dead, I'd just be a little caricature of a rock star. Who wants to be a drug addict at 41? Listen, I'm 41, I've got two kids, I don't expect a 16-year-old to be looking to me for inspiration. It's the Arctic Monkeys' job now. I've done my bit. Now we go in the studio and it's just like, let's make some records, let's do it cos we love it." — Noel Gallagher. [Guardian]
• "I didn't want to see her journey belittled. She was not a stereotypical long-suffering wife who just chastised her husband when he was grumpy and took care of the kids. She was extremely capable, and she was forward thinking. Looking back, she was clearly a feminist." — Laura Linney on her role as Abigail Adams in John Adams. [Telegraph]
• "I'm just really lazy. Too lazy to phone the cleaning lady. But I do have a German boyfriend. He can't help cleaning. Recently he came back from a long trip and he kissed me and immediately went and cleaned the toilet." — Rufus Wainwright. [Newsweek]
• "I'm at a strange age. I'm not a woman yet, but I'm not a girl any more. [Film companies] say, 'Oh, in a couple of years you’ll be perfect for this.' I'll be like, yeah, but I want to be studying English then, so it’s going to be quite tough to choose between the two. I'm going to have a battle on my hands, because after Harry Potter has finished, I don't know. I definitely want to go to university." — Emma Watson. [Times Of London]
• "I will not be shagging Russell Brand. Just because I gave him my number does not mean I’ll be going on a date with him. I was the subject of one of his calls once, but I didn’t answer the phone thank goodness! I just saw his name come up on the screen and thought: 'I don’t think I’m going to answer that right now.' He was on air and it was just good female intuition. I had another conversation with him on the radio shortly before he left his radio show and he is a lot fun. I like him. And I can totally handle guys like that." — Dita Von Teese. [The Sun]

• Did Ellen DeGeneres try to trick Mariah Carey into admitting she's pregnant? Mariah was a guest on Ellen's show, and after Ellen asked and got a vague response, she busted out the champagne, saying, "You don't have to answer that. Let's just toast with champagne." Mariah got flustered and said, "I can't believe you did this to me, Ellen," and pretended to sip the bubbly. Knocked up? [Yahoo News via E!]
• Someone's not pregnant: Sarah Jessica Parker in the Sex And The City sequel. Carrie won't be having a kid. "It doesn't seem as if that's going to be a choice she'll make… Michael (Patrick King, director) and I never talk about it. That doesn't mean that won't be part of the story. We just haven't figured it out. It feels a little bit manipulative to toss that into the mix, because she seems so pointed in a different direction." [Daily Express]
• Kanye West and hot hot model Sessilee Lopez: Is it on? [The Sun]
• Madonna has hired a specialist to help her "exorcise the memories" of her ex-husband, Guy Ritchie, from her home. The technique seems to involve throwing shit away. [Mirror]
• Madonna and A-Rod are in Miami together right now, having just landed in a private jet. [TMZ]

• What's this? Even though his ex, Cynthia, claimed Rodriguez would be spending Thanksgiving with Madonna, a source says A-Rod "has been in Florida for days" and "always had every intention of spending the holiday" there with his ex-wife and daughters? [People]
• In other news, Madonna's brother is going to direct a "teen thriller" called Twist. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Britney Spears wants to go back on the road again. She and her conservators have asked the court to allow her to go on a U.S. tour next year: She'd need to make deals with backup singers, roadies, venues, ticket brokers, etc., but legally can't make any of the deals herself. [TMZ]
• Britney will be in New York next week — her album drops Tuesday, so she's hitting Good Morning America, but it's also her 27th birthday. So she'll also have a "very private circus-themed" birthday party that night. Waiting for our invitation! [Page Six]
• The chick from The Rules is offering dating advice to Jennifer Aniston. Says Sherrie Schneider, who co-wrote the infamous dating manual with Ellen Fein: "Never mention Brad's or John Mayer's name in public. Also, don't say anything bad about John, like when you said he was missing a sensitivity chip. Never talk about Angelina or call her 'uncool', even if she was uncool. She does not exist in your world. You are going to be 40 soon. You have no time to waste if you want kids." What's that eyeroll emoticon again? [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Lily Allen and Agyness Deyn got strip searched when they went to Dubai. Lily says: "I knew I didn’t have anything on me so I wasn’t worried. I wasn’t paranoid, just terrified." Agyness agrees: "It was really traumatic. It wasn’t the best experience in the world, but it is their culture and you just have to respect it." [The Sun]
• Ivanka Trump sure is fueling those rumors she might get engaged to boyfriend Jared Kushner — she's guest blogging for Brides.com the first week of December, writing about her style and her jewelry line. [WWD]
• Model Jessica Stam is dating Austin Cregg, the son of '80s pop music icon Huey Lewis. He's facing jail time for marijuana possession and scrawling graffiti. [Page Six]
• An upcoming Law & Order episode will have a young male "supermodel" die in a way that is eerily similar to the way Heath Ledger did. [Page Six]
• Ricki Lake is on Match.com. Go Ricki! [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Oh no, Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem might be on the rocks: They'd agreed to take a break from movies for a year, then he took a part in a film. She wanted to adopt a baby from India because she "admires Angelina Jolie." [ONTD]
• Pete Wentz freaked out when his wife, Ashlee was about to give birth: "Right before she went into labor, I was like, 'Oh, my god, I think I'm having a heart attack,'" he says. "My heart started beating real fast. You see your wife is in all this pain. And I don't know what's happening right now. She took care of me and made sure I was okay and then went into labor. That's why she's a saint." [People]
• For the second day in a row, a story about how Reese Witherspoon totally got along with Vince Vaughn while shooting Four Christmases. "Vince is the funniest person I've ever worked with. It was a challenge for me to stay there and keep up with him." The lady doth protest too much? [Yahoo News]
• Natalie Portman doesn't understand celibacy. [Page Six]
• Roger Friedman on The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: "Innovative, creative, technologically advanced… [Brad Pitt] is Gollum from Lord of the Rings meeting Robert Redford, with a better wardrobe." [Fox 411]
• Rachael Ray's Christmas will be a silent night: "I'm having voice surgery on Dec. 16, so we're going to celebrate very quietly," she says. [People]
• Are Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal's parents broke? [Page Six]
• Audrina Patridge on Heidi and Spencer's elopement: "I am surprised and not surprised at the same time." Haha, because you know that they're contractually obligated to make headlines for Us magazine? She also says: "I do think it's very romantic that they eloped." [People]
• Uh-oh, director John Waters is being sued for adding "Santa Claus is a Black Man" to his Christmas album without permission. [Daily Express]
• Tragic: You know how Kanye West's mom died after plastic surgery? Her nephew, a registered nurse, was supervising her post-surgery care and may have left her bedside to attend a baby shower — he's being investigated. [People]
• Village Voice reporter Michael Musto hit the Milk premiere party, where Marc Jacobs told him he cried and shook his leg emotionally through the whole movie. "I'm for anything gay," the designer said. "The world would be a better place if everyone was gay." "Look, around," Musto urged. "They are!" Meanwhile, Carson Kressley said: "I'm lactose-intolerant, but I loved Milk." [Village Voice]
• TMZ the TV show: Renewed. [Yahoo News]
• File under news you can't use: Katie "Jordan" Price and Peter Andre sunbathe naked; Peter has a "brown willy." [Perez Hilton]
• Carson Daly has a girlfriend? And she's pregnant? [ONTD]
• U2, Jay-Z, Coldplay and R.E.M. are among the bands contributing music to (RED)WIRE, a new download service aligned with Bono’s (PRODUCT)RED campaign. [Rolling Stone]
• Don't know much about country singer Chuck Wicks, but he is "very much in love" with Dancing With The Stars' Julianne Hough, so that's nice. [People]
• Mel Gibson, what hast thou done? A Superior Court Judge wants you to explain why a screenwriter claims he was screwed out of $10 million from the 2004 megahit The Passion Of The Christ [Yahoo News via E!]
• TV chef Gordon Ramsay has made a "groveling apology" to his wife after admitting to meeting his mistress four times. [Daily Mail]
• "There's always someone telling you not to make a movie. When I did Born on the Fourth of July, they said, 'This is going to ruin your career. What are you doing?' Suicide? I’ve committed it. There were people who didn’t want me to make Top Gun. [My character], Stauffenberg, went from saying, 'Someone should shoot that bastard' to realizing, I’m the only one who can do it. You can’t really know until you're under that kind of pressure. I'm not saying this in some chest-pounding way, but I do feel I'd have that kind of courage." — Tom Cruise, defending his Nazi movie, Valkyrie, in Details. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "We came up with the idea Bronx. We've been throwing [ideas] back and forth a while. It's kind of cool to just leave the narrative what it is. People are stoked or pissed or whatever. And you're like, you know what: I don't think anyone really has the real story." — Pete Wentz on why he named his kid Bronx Mowgli. [People]

• After six months, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are moving to Germany. Maybe. But! "Friends" say there's tension. [Daily Mail]
• Award-winning journalist Christiane Amanpour says Renée Zellweger is "very smart about current affairs." That is an enviable endorsement. [NY Observer]
• Lindsay and Sam loved Tina Fey's Sarah Palin impersonation. [Page Six]
• Natalie Portman: Single again. She and Devendra Banhart will remain friends but need space. Perhaps his beard was coming between them. [In Touch, People]
• Sharon Stone still has custody of her son, whom she supposedly lost custody of earlier this month. Seems like the court clerk made some kind of error. [TMZ]
• Kelly Osbourne on Victoria Beckham and Jennifer Lopez: "I was directly across from them [at a show during Fashion Week]. I've never seen two people pretend to like each other more in my life. They were holding hands, but it looked like Victoria was holding a shitty bit of toilet paper!" [Mirror]

• Simon Cowell on finding out that Clay Aiken is gay: "Wow, that's a shock. It's like being told Santa Claus isn't real — unbelievable! I don't think anyone cares. Let's face it. It's 2008. You know, who cares?" [MSNBC]
• Here's another shocker: Clay Aiken's baby pictures had a bargain-basement price tag, nowhere near what People paid for the Jolie-Pitt spawn. [MSNBC]
• Rosie O'Donnell's reaction to Clay's gay news: "I love Clay. He is a beautiful man in every way." [Yahoo News]
• Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are supposedly in couples counseling. [Daily Mail]
• Queen Latifah's Rolls Royce has an Obama license plate. So elitist! [The.Life Files]
• Paul McCartney is in Israel, which banned the Beatles in 1965. But now the Army Radio news station has been playing the Beatles' greatest hits. Although pro-Palestinian groups have urged McCartney to boycott Israel, he's performing tonight for the first time. [LA Times]
• Paul McCartney has more Israeli security than when George Bush visits. [Mirror]
• Ashley Olsen is on vacation with her beau, Justin Bartha, in Las Vegas. They've been making out in clubs and catching shows and shacking up in the penthouse suite at Caesars Palace. Don't forget the Liberace Museum! It's totally cheesetastic. [E!]
• It's official: Johnny Depp wil be the Mad Hatter in Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland. [Reuters]
• Bret Michaels went to a LensCrafters in Springfield, IL and was mobbed by fans for "about an hour." [UPI]
• Oprah has joined the cast of the Disney film The Princess And The Frog, which is the Mouse Co.'s first black princess movie. Maybe she'll keep it from being a total disaster? [Reuters]
• Lance Armstrong got advice from his ex-wife Kristin before coming out of retirement to do the Tour de France. "Quite frankly, if she had said, 'I don't support it,' or 'I'm not into it,' I wouldn't have done it," he says. [People]
• "Magician" David Blaine finished his recent stunt of hanging over Central Park. Yawn. [USA Today]
• We've seen this Angelina Jolie doll before but it never ceases to be scary. [Perez Hilton]
• Hugh Hefner's Girls Next Door desire different things: Kendra wants kids; Bridget wants a career on the Travel Channel; Holly says, "I want everything!" [E!]
• Hmm, this report says that Kendra is seeing Philadelphia Eagle Hank Baskett; Holly is dating Criss Angel and Bridget is seeing Nick Carpenter, Marisa Tomei's ex-boyfriend. [Page Six]
• Metal fans are complaining that Metallica's new album is too loud. [WSJ]
• Harry Connick Jr. saw some couple getting frisky in a hotel ballroom, so he played the piano for them. [Fox 411]
• Former Bachelorette Jen Schefft is engaged, not that you care. The dude looks a little like Joe Millionaire. [People]
• Steven Tyler is suing unknown bloggers who impersonated him on the Web. How do you sue people when you don't know who they are? [MSNBC]
• Legally Blonde: The Musical is closing, OMG you guys. [Variety]
• Will Smith is planning a prequel to I Am Legend, because that is what the world needs now. [Variety]
• Correction: What the world needs now is a Partridge Family remake. [Variety]
• Rachel McAdams joins the cast (Jude Law, Robert Downey Jr.) of Sherlock Holmes, directed by Guy Ritchie. [Reuters]
• Can Ali Lohan's floundering music career get some help from Johnny Wright, the man who worked with NSync, Justin Timberlake and the Jonas Brothers? [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey is the global ambassador for the Yum! Foundation's appeal to raise money for the United Nations World Food Programme. [Daily Express]
• Joan Rivers made Nazi jokes; AOL censored them. [Page Six]
• A family has dropped their lawsuit claiming that a hospital caused distress to a dying woman when they moved her to make room for Michael Jackson back in 2005. [Yahoo News]
• With Sunday's premiere, The Simpsons will tie Gunsmoke's record of 20 seasons on the air. [USA Today]
• "I didn’t want the perfume launch to be boring like Victoria Beckham’s, Kelly Brook and the others. I saw Victoria in pictures wearing the white dress with a kind of furry thing on the back and I just thought she’s on another night out. I had no idea she was supposed to be promoting her new perfume. She didn’t make any effort. She should have a bit more fun with it like I did. I envisaged a beach with a half-naked lady and that’s what I did. Now everyone has seen my new boobs, and I hope I’ve made the public happy." — Katie Price, the "glamour model" known as Jordan. [Mirror]
• "I'm only naked for about seven minutes in a show that runs about 2¼ hours." — Daniel Radcliffe, who is supposedly awesome in Equus. [USA Today]
• "I'm not too careful what I say. I'm old enough to have my opinions and if they’re not politically correct, then so be it." — Joan Collins. [Daily Express]
• "Giving kids whatever they want is disastrous parenting. There’s no sense of something earned. I’m sorry but when you’re 12 you don’t need a new mobile phone every few months just because a new one comes out. I’m not going to buy her the latest phone, I’m not going to buy her an iPod every time one comes out and I’m definitely not going to buy her a pony. As a result, my kids don’t want for very much. They’re not greedy. They’re wonderful, wonderful children. Saying No helps. That’s what parents don’t understand. If you want to produce really horrible, obnoxious kids, say Yes to them all the time." — Ewan McGregor. [Daily Express]
• "It is extraordinary to me that you can find $700 billion to save Wall Street and the entire [Group of Eight nations] can't find $25 billion to save 25,000 children who die every day of preventable disease and hunger. I presume these people [in the Bush administration] know what they're doing. Bankruptcy is a serious business. But this is moral bankruptcy." — Bono, weighing in on President Bush's bailout pan, at the Clinton Global Initiative. [Rush & Molloy]

• The crew on Madonna's world tour is threatening to quit because they had to stay at a cheap airport hotel while she stayed in an £11,000-a-night castle. It cannot be confirmed whether or not Her Madgesty said, "Let them eat cake." [Mirror, WOW Report]
• Here's the latest on David Duchovny: He may have had an addiction to online porn. And he may have released a statement about it because he was already in treatment and a fellow patient was about to sell info to the tabloids. [Fox News]
• Looking back at old interviews, Duchovny revealed his love of porn and '80s porn stars. [People]
• Meanwhile, Tea Leoni has canceled her appearance at the Toronto Film Festival. [People]
• Lindsay Lohan hung out with Sam Ronson instead of going to her grandfather's wake on Long Island. [The Sun]
• Lindsay signed a MySpace message "This song is for SR… ILY." Translation: "This song is for Sam Ronson. I love you." [Pop Dirt]
• Are Queen Latifah and her long time partner Jeanette Jenkins planning on adopting? Are they out now? [ONTD]

• Some dude's been arrested for stealing a digital camera that had pictures of Kate Middleton and Prince William vacationing in Mustique together. The camera belonged to Kate's little sister Pippa and the guy intended to sell the snaps to the tabloids, obvs. [Daily Mail]
• Kevin Spacey: Seen pinching the bare bottom of some dude. [Mr. Paparazzi, via Perez Hilton]
• Says a witness: "Kevin looked like he was having a brilliant time." [The Sun]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck of The View is heading to the Republican National Convention on Thursday. She'll fly in and out on the same day. "I must really want John McCain elected," she says, "because I would not get on a plane like that for anyone else." Oh, the sacrifice! Thank God McCain has you. [NY Daily News]
• The apocalypse is nigh: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are opening a bar. In NEW YORK. To be called The Hill. [W]
• Save Katie! The anti-Scientology group Anonymous will be protesting at opening night of Katie Holmes' Broadway debut in All My Sons. "We aren’t looking to shut it down, we just want to prove a point," says a spokesperson. [MSNBC]
• Josh Hartnett and and unnamed female friend went into a little-used library at a SoHo hotel and started getting "hot and heavy." Since the hotel — and the library — are under security camera surveillance, the staff saw a little show on a monitor. No video link, sorry! [MSNBC]
• Michael Phelps shot a cameo for the new season of Entourage. "It was like being in New York City with one of the Beatles," Kevin "E" Connolly says. "People were stopping in the streets and climbing up things to see him. They were going nuts. He's like a superstar." [Yahoo News]
• Meanwhile, Michael Phelps is totally not talking about the ladies and doing his best to have some privacy: "I never said I have a girlfriend, and I never said I don't have a girlfriend," he says. [People]
• DNA evidence has linked an air conditioning repairman to the 2001 stabbing death of Ashley Ellerin, Ashton Kutcher's former girlfriend. [Yahoo News]
• Johnny Depp was on stage with his old band! One night only! He played guitar and sang backup! It was for charity. [Yahoo News]
• This was probably inevitable but still: Oy: Agyness Deyn is working on a Hollywood career. [Daily Mail]
• Not that you asked, but Britney has been working out "super hard" and is in "great shape." [Page Six]
• Angelina Jolie would like to work on a European film. "No one has asked me yet," she says. "When I can really speak it, maybe I'll try out for a French film in a few years." [Breitbart]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty: Moving in together? They looked at a $22 million mansion in Malibu and Sienna liked it. (At that price point, what's not to like?) [Perez Hilton]
• Maroon 5's Adam Levine: Seen hitting on newly single Anne Hathaway at the Vanity Fair DNC party. Uh-oh, isn't Adam on that herpes chart? [Fox News]
• James Gandolfini, 46, married his fiancée Deborah Lin, 40, in her hometown of Honolulu, Hawaii on Saturday. "They both wore long, green leis around their necks," says a source. "There were lots of white flowers on the tables and Gandolfini was beaming." [People]
• French actress Emmanuelle Beart and director Fabrice Du Welz are defending their latest movie, Vinyan, in which Beart stars as a mother who loses her son to the 2004 tsunami but refuses to believe he is dead. The character and her husband go looking for the kid in the jungle of the Thai-Myanmar border and stumble across a terrifying world ruled by savage children. It's a horror film, but the director says, "I tried to be as respectful as I can. I don't want to be unpleasant to people who have really suffered from the tsunami." [Yahoo News]
• John Mayer got really drunk and partied with a blonde cocktail waitress on the last night of his world tour. On stage, he mentioned reading The Secret and said "I had a conversation recently, and a lot of tears were exchanged." Jen Aniston, sniff, sniff. [People]
• This is just coming out now, but apparently Amy Winehouse overdosed twice last year: Once in July, from smoking hash for 36 hours; next in August from cocaine, heroin, ecstasy, ketamine and crystal meth. Now she might have brain damage or schizophrenia from the drugs. [The Sun]
• Another "Amy Winehouse may have brain damage" story. [Daily Mail]
• Headline of the day: "Could Scarlett Be The Next Spielberg?" Yes, Ms. Johansson wants to direct. [Daily Express]
• Mel Gibson has become "close to" a "glamorous Russian musician" on the set on his new movie but he says she's just a colleague and he remains happily married. [Daily Mail]
• The stage musical version of 9 To 5 features 19 new Dolly Parton songs. "She's so lovely and so humble," producer Robert Greenblatt says. "She says, 'I'm not sure I'll get you the whole way there, but I'd love to give it a try. If something doesn't work exactly, I'll rewrite it.'" [Variety]
• Colin Farrell saved this homeless guy's life by giving him cash and telling him: "You need to get your life together, man, promise me. And make sure you go see my new movie." [Toronto Sun]
• Jude Law is visiting Afghanistan to promote peace. Yeah, I dunno. [AP]
• Sign of the recession? Diddy had to give up his private jet. [The Star]
• Natalie Portman won a humanity award at the Venice Film Festival, where she made her directorial debut with a short film called Eve. [The Star]
• Duran Duran fan? Maybe you wanna read about how cocaine destroyed the band. Written by Andy Taylor! [Daily Mail]
• Sixty-two year old Cher has a 36 year old man and she hired a private jet to fly him and two of his buddies to Memphis to catch a Merle Haggard show, which is kind of awesome. [Page Six]
• Michelle Williams and Spike Jonze: Still on. [Page Six]
• Leanne Rimes, 26, has been married for seven years, and says she is ready for a baby. [People]
• "You are bugging the fuck out… No disrespect. …Alaska? I don't even know if there's any black people in Alaska. If you really think we're gonna let you win the election with these crazy decisions that you're making, you're bugging." —Diddy's thoughts about Sarah Palin in a video directed to John McCain. [Perez Hilton]
• Jerry O'Connell says pregnant wife Rebecca Romjin craves lemonade and soy cream cheese. "Can't be cream cheese. Soy cream cheese. Do you know how difficult it is to find soy cream cheese? It's usually in the corner of the supermarket someplace!" [People]
• "The easiest sex scene I have done was in Mulholland Drive because it was with another woman. There was no awkwardness. There was no sexual tension." — Naomi Watts. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "When it comes to fashion, I know about as much as Betty. I love to play dress-up and it’s fun, but I’m not interested in the fashion world. If I wasn’t an actress, I’d probably want to be a teacher." — America Ferrera. [Mirror]
• "I always knew I was never the prettiest or ugliest girl in the room. Life's too short to inject botulism into you face to get rid of a tiny line because you've laughed too much. I don't feel a need to lose weight, because I'm not 21. I'm happy with my package." — Ashley Jensen, aka Christina on Ugly Betty. [Daily Mail]
• "It's very strange to be here in London without Anthony Minghella, whom I loved very much, and very painful. I was so frightened in the first week of shooting The English Patient, I was trembling, but he was trying to find a way to win my trust, and he just said to me, 'Well, fly...' and I did and it changed my life." — Juliette Binoche. [Independent]
• "Victoria and I are very different. People bracket us together because we live in the same city and we’re both interested in fashion. Victoria’s fashion line has been very successful and, hopefully mine will be too. But that’s where the similarities begin and end." —Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown. Not that you knew she had a fashion line. [Daily Mail]
• "The only thing I can cook really is mince meat, which is ironic because I'm a vegetarian. But I like calzone and lasagne. I cooked every day in Spain so David and the boys lived off minced meat for four years. I cook a Sunday dinner every single Sunday I'll have you know. My kids like Yorkshire pudding so I make that, I can make it from scratch and I make Dora the Explorer cakes for afters because the kids love them." — Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham. [Daily Mail]
• "I can't even think about having another baby right now. The boys take up so much of my time." — Victoria Beckham. [Mirror]
• "I don't care for [romantic comedies] where the guy is emasculated, tossed around by the woman, and lacking a point of view. It's a disservice to both the male and the female. I like to give my guys some balls" - Matthew McConaughey to Plenty magazine. [Page Six]
• "I kind of want to see how the audience responds first. I don't want to overstay my welcome." — Shannen Doherty, on whether she will stick with the new 90210. [LA Times]
• "I informed British Airways of my late arrival. I told them I was a kind of minor celebrity and I might get a bit of hassle at the airport. Turns out they are complete arseholes. Even when I fell over and badly creased my hat, I had no assistance. I was crying but I didn't want them to see. A cynic might say I missed the plane, an honest man might say I went to the airport a little late." —Pete Doherty. [Mirror]
• "I think manipulation is something that women do a lot, it's still our number one problem. You look at those characters [in The Duchess] — Georgiana and Bess — and they're hugely trying to outmanoeuvre each other, but I think it's also possible for intense love affairs to happen between women — not necessarily sexual, but things can obviously take a sexual turn. Women do get obsessed with other women — whether they love them or hate them, and I think that line is very easy to cross." — Keira Knightley [Guardian]

• Did John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston break up? Sources say she's been dumped. Gah! An unnamed, possibly non-trustworthy, totally random source says: "John took the decision to end things as he felt he just wasn't ready for the level of commitment that Jennifer deserved. Contrary to reports, Jen didn't want to have kids or marry this year, but she did want to set a timetable for their future together." Is it a good or a bad thing? And how long will we have to hear the "desperate single" gossip about Jen? [Mirror]
• Britney and her sons are wearing white on the cover of OK!. And she, uh, doesn't want Jayden and Preston to have careers in showbiz. "But but I’d love them unconditionally if they wanted to. I’d just as soon they have a more normal childhood," she says. Is it "normal" to be on the cover of a trashy tabloid with your weave-wearing mom? (More in Midweek Madness!) [MSNBC]
• Britney went to a party! And her dad went with her! And she didn't drink! And people say she looked good! [E!]
• Madonna and Guy Ritchie are "on the very cusp" of adopting a little girl from Malawi. Her name is Mercy and Madonna "fell in love" with her at an orphanage last year. [The Sun]

• Meanwhile, Guy Ritchie has been doing ju-jitsu with Jason Statham. "I've been fighting Guy in his garage in L.A.," Jason says. "We're killing each other. That's another of my passions, strangling friends." Why does he make it sound so hot? [Mirror]
• Lily Allen is back with ex-boyfriend Ed Simons but by the time you read this they may be broken up again. [The Sun]
• Rhys Ifans is back with Kim Stewart but by the time you read this they may be broken up again. [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse is finally settling down to work on an album, which she hopes to finish by the time Blake Incarcerated gets out. We'll believe it when he hear it. [The Sun]
• Oh, dear. In a survey of 3,500 Britons, the number one celebrity people had nightmares about was Amy Winehouse. [The Star]
• Officials have released the news that the cause of death for Isaac Hayes was a stroke. The saddest sentence ever: "Family members found Hayes lying on the floor of his home beside a treadmill that was still switched on." [Yahoo News]
• Natalie Portman's directorial debut, Eve, is a 17-minute film described as "a civilized comedy." Opening at the Venice Film Festival, it stars Lauren Bacall and Ben Gazzara. Wanna see! [Yahoo News]
• Oh lord. Here we go again. George Clooney says: "I have never texted or emailed Senator Obama. And I'll offer a million dollars to anyone who could prove otherwise. In fact, I've only talked to the Senator once in the last year and a half… on the phone." WTF. This is the same thing that happened with Scarlett Johannson. We just heard that George was giving Barack tips on policy! Does this mean that the Daily Mail lied? Are we not to believe everything we read? [Yahoo News]
• Nicole Kidman brought her one month old daughter to her movie set. Working mom! [Star]
• Blake Lively's nose job seems to have occurred sometime in 2006. Plus, she says: "I've kissed just three people in my life, other than stuff that I've done for TV or movies. I know — I'm weird!" [LA Times]
• Chris Martin joked about dating other women on Japanese TV, saying, "Thankfully, my wife is over 1,000 miles away." [Mirror]
• Is Tom Cruise's career in the shitter? [Page Six]
• Julianne Moore is a stone cold fox in shots for Wonderland magazine. She talks about always being nekkid in flicks: "People ask all the time if sex scenes and nudity are hard. What’s hard? Not the lines or the physicality, but the emotion." [Daily Mail]
• Does Ryan Adams want Mandy Moore back? [Gawker]
• The fantastic Ellen Burstyn is coming to Law & Order SVU as Stabler's mom! [EW.com]
• Adrian Grenier and Isabel Lucas (aka Shia LaBeouf's car crash costar): Dunzo. [Yahoo News]
• Tori Spelling won't be on 90210 after all. Jennie Garth=sad. "I'm really bummed because I love Tori and I was psyched Tori was going to be on the show. I think she should definitely get paid as much as either of us is getting paid. Her father created the show. It just seems wrong if that’s the case. I don’t know what really happened… I don’t know if it’s about the money." [EW.com]
• Mark Consuelos will perform the ceremony in the marriage of Howard Stern to Beth Ostrosky. Uh… [Fox News]
• Dane Cook is not alone in hating the poster for his own movie. It's dumb and ugly. And a Photoshop of Horrors. [People]
• A Kylie and Dannii Minogue duet of an ABBA song is the campiest thing I can think of without picturing Liberace. [The Sun]
• Shania Twain is "progressing" and "working hard" to get over her split from her husband of 14 years. Breakup advice, anyone? [People]
• Janet Jackson's set list for her upcoming tour: Yes, "Nasty" is included. [Perez Hilton]
• "It was fantastic to do that album. Not only live with that music that I love everyday, but I just worked with such wonderful musicians who are so talented. I would love to do another album. Right now, though, I'd like to focus on developing something to direct." — Scarlett Johansson. [Perez Hilton]
• Jay-Z may use is 40/40 club to take over Las Vegas. [Page Six]
• Adam West, aka Batman, might be on Dancing With The Stars. [Page Six]
• Paris Hilton is being sued for not doing enough publicity for a sorority film she was in, National Lampoon's Pledge This! Maybe she was doing them a favor? [AP]
• Now that he's a dad, Clay Aiken is returning to Spamalot, so he can make cash for his baby. The kid's name is Parker Foster Aiken. Unrelated: The pic of Clay makes me shudder. [USA Today]
• Bernie Brillstein, a Hollywood manager and producer, died last week. At a tribute Monday night, Jennifer Aniston, Rob Loew and Kermit The Frog attended. [E!]
• "I hate blogs but I love mine. Cause I can be F-in REAL with people!!!! I wanna make a difference in a good way even if that means speaking my mind. people might take offense to it but whatev. First of all lets address my 'voting" comment- first of all opinions are like (you know whats)-everyone has one. I decided to make a very blunt comment. Notice how i said "I know IIIIII couldn't do it cause I'd be pms-ing and freaking out all the time" ....Honestly I'd LOVE to meet a woman with NO emotional problems....but thats not the point...but its true. LOL Second- Only 54 percent of eligible american voters cast their ballots!!!!!! Half of them are only voting cause its "cool " to vote for so and so...they aren't even up to date on information. I'M personally not up to date on the facts, so I don't wanna make a stupid choice for our country. I WANT to vote but only when I know exactly whats going on. More ppl should think like that. Paris Hilton said "yaaaay go vote cause its cool and hott!!!!" ...SHE WASN'T EVEN REGISTERED. seriously." — Brooke Hogan. [ONTD]

• Halle Berry gave birth to a baby girl on Sunday morning in L.A. An insider says Halle first arrived at the hospital early Saturday with contractions and "skyrocketing" blood pressure, but stabilized, went home and came back later Saturday night. The baby was born at 10:17 am yesterday. Congrats! [Star Magazine]
  
• Baby and mama are "doing great!" [US Magazine]
  
• George Clooney is going to be Nicole Kidman's baby's godfather. Damn. Raise your hand if you're jealous of an unborn kid. [Mirror]
  
• Nicole Richie hates her post-pregnancy boobs. "I am bustier now and I really don't like it. It doesn't really fit with my wardrobe, it's not who I am. I am not someone who is used to wearing a bra or having to wear a bra, I really don't like it. I like wearing vintage hippy see-through shirts that aren't slutty on me because there is nothing to look at." [The Sun]
  
• Mel Gibson and Britney Spears: New BFFs. WTF. [TMZ]

• Oh, a source says Mel and Brit had dinner together to talk about sobriety. Sure. [E!]
• Sam Lutfi's restraining order regarding Britney has been extended for another 30 days, thank Zeus. [TMZ]
• Is Britney's father opening a restaurant with Kevin Federline??? [Mirror]
• Brit's kids came to visit; she let her dad push the stroller. [The Sun]
• The hospital where Britney stayed for psychiatric evaluation has suspended some employees and may fire others for looking at Brit's medical records. [Reuters]
• Lindsay Lohan admits that her pre-rehab lifestyle was effed up: "I was putting myself in the wrong situations and I didn't have the focus in the right place." [People]
• Lindsay recently had a meeting with rapper Fat Joe. Reeemiiiix! [E!]
• Paris Hilton is going on tour with Benji Madden and his band, Good Charlotte, in South Africa, yawn. [People]
• A Hasidic Jew dropped out of the role of Natalie Portman's husband in her new movie because of pressure from his community. Oy. [UPI]
• Keith Richards likes Amy Winehouse's music but says,"That girl isn't going to be around long unless she sorts herself out pretty quick. Amy's got to get smart." [Daily Mail]
• Sarah Jessica Parker on the Sex And The City movie: "A handful of people have seen it and have been very surprised by the seriousness. There's something that happens in this movie and it's really about realizing your own complicity and disappointment. You know the necessity of friends, but at a certain point, as a grown-up person, you have to take care of yourself." [LA Times]
• Did "oil heir" Brandon Davis steal a $100,000 watch from producer Scott Storch? [Page Six]
• Eminem is working on the return of Slim Shady: He's back in the studio and working out with a trainer. [Page Six]
• Dear Page Six, Lisa D'Amato did not win Cycle Five of ANTM; she did pee herself on a photo shoot, though. [Page Six]
• Blind items! "Which married foreign head of state makes Bill Clinton look like a Boy Scout? When women are granted audiences with the man, they find him at his desk with his fly open or, sometimes, with his pants already down... Which "socialite" dropped from a size 14 to a size 0 with the help of a new dangerous habit? She and some of her friends are dabbling in the appetite suppressant heroin." [Page Six]
• Blind item: "Which new mama likes to sneak vodka into her water glass even though she's still breastfeeding?" [ONTD]
• Diane Sawyer did a special on prostitution which never aired; thanks to Spitzer & Dupre, it'll be on ABC this Friday. Dreams really do come true. [Rush & Molloy]
• Actor Daniel Radcliffe smokes like 20 cigarettes a day. Harry Potter & The Phlegmy Cough. [ONTD]
• Start hitting your high notes: Mariah Carey will be a guest judge on American Idol this week. [ONTD]
• CSI: Miami's David Caruso: A dick on the set. [Page Six]
• Kate Moss has been banned from joining boyfriend Jamie Hince on stage when his band, The Kills, tours. She'll have to be happy with "groupie" status. [Mirror]
• Is Madonna's marriage "hanging by a thread"? How many times have you heard that before? [The Sun]
• But apparently Madonna and Guy Ritchie will announce a split in 18 months. Mark your calendar! [ONTD]
• Madonna's new song will be released via a SunSilk shampoo commercial. Rinse and repeat. [The.Life Files]
• Dawn Wells, aka Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island, was supposed to speak to the Girl Scouts of America; they canceled after she was charged with marijuana possession. But she could warm the girls of the dangers of DUI! [UPI]
• Sadie Frost has split with Towers of London bassist Kristian Marr. Did you know they were dating? [Sunday Mirror]
• Paul McCartney may learn how much cash he has to give Heather Mills in their divorce settlement today, but will we? These things are private, as dictated by British law. But the judge can release some or all details after the couple has heard the decision. [CNN]
• Yee-haw! Carrie Underwood is joining the Grand Ole Opry. [Yahoo News]
• The drummer from ABBA was found dead in Spain. [Yahoo News]
• Is the Church of Scientology planning to use Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith to lure black people into its clutches? [MSNBC]
• Minnie Driver doesn't know what to name her baby. "Driver is kind of a hard name to put with a first name, particularly boys' names. My friend sent me an email saying I should call the baby Duncan Driver. Then I can call it Dunk Driver, Pile Driver, Rally Driver." [The Sun]
• Michael Stipe: Totes le gay. [Rush & Molloy]

• Jennifer Lopez finally gave birth to her twins: She and Marc Anthony are the proud parents of a boy and a girl. The names have not yet been announced, but we're hoping they don't pick Jenny Jr. and Marc Jr. How about something like Luz and Libertad? [People]
  
• The 5-pound, 7-ounce girl arrived first, followed by her 6-pound brother minutes later. Jennifer and Marc are "thrilled and over the moon." [CNN]
  
• Amy Winehouse "trashed" her hotel room before the Brit Awards: Booze was spilled, cigarette butts were scattered, bottles of champagne and "unwashed knickers" were all over the floor. She also blackened the tub by using it to dye her hive. And there was a large mirror taken off the wall and lying on the floor. She's only a half-naked groupie shy of the full rock cliché box set! [The Sun]
  
• The restraining order finally served to Sam Lutfi means he must not contact Britney — including via telephone — through March 17. Progress! [TMZ]
  
• A bartender at NYC hotspot Socialista has hepatitis A, so Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, Madonna, Lucy Liu, Salma Hayek, Kate Hudson and Bruce Willis had better get shots! [Page Six]
  
• Hip-hop mogul Damon Dash during the lunar eclipse: "I'm a little scared." LOL. [Page Six]

• Dating Natalie Portman a while back made Moby "a target of a lot of nerd wrath." Poor baby! [Page Six]
• Prince is throwing a post-Oscars bash! Expected guests include Katie and Tom, Will Smith, Salma and Penelope. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which member of the Black Enterprise 'Top 25 Hollywood Money Makers,' whose sexuality long has been in question by fans, was seen trying not to be seen with a same sex pal at an L.A. restaurant Wednesday evening? "They were trying not to look like they were together, but they looked together," says a witness." [Gatecrasher]
• Aaron Carter, 20, was pulled over for speeding in Texas and cops found two ounces of marijuana in his car, uh-oh. Not found: His career. [TMZ]
• Heather Mills is on FHM's list of the world's most sexiest women. She's 95th, but that's ahead of Gwen Stefani, Paris Hilton and Kirsten Dunst. [Mirror]
• Does Lindsay Lohan have a new man? Does she love anyone as much as she loves leggings? [The Sun]
• Beyoncé is going to play legendary singer Etta James in an upcoming film; Ms. James says, "It's a privilege and an honor to have somebody like that girl. I don't think she looks like me, but that's all right. I wasn't as bourgie as she is, she's bourgeois. She knows how to be a lady, she's like a model. I wasn't like that... I smoked in the bathroom in school, I was kinda arrogant, so those are some of the things I would want to tell her." [Concrete Loop]
• Angelina and Brad are cohosts of an Oscar party on Saturday — and so is Jennifer Aniston. The bash is being held by the pool of the Beverly Hills Hotel, we can only dream of a scenario in which the ladies wrestle and fall into the water, then Brad has to strip down and break them apart. What? It could happen. [MSNBC]
• An entertainment news agency has apologized to Will Smith for distributing a story alleging he called Adolf Hitler a "good person." [Guardian]
• A portrait of Heath Ledger is up for a prominent art prize in Australia. The portrait was painted by Heath's friend Vincent Fantauzzo, who says, "When you paint someone, you meditate over them. I was painting Heath every day for 10 hours a day." [People]
• Harrison Ford blames his decision to sport an earring on Jimmy Buffet and Ed Bradley. [UPI]
• Valerie Bertinelli says she and Eddie Van Halen cheated on each other, if you care. [People]
• Delta Burke, who checked into a psychiatric hospital in January, says she suffered from anxiety as early as kindergarten. Also: Her hoarding is a problem! "At one time I had 27 storage units. I don't have a big enough house!" she claims. "My mom had it, it's my mother's fault. She saved the diaper I came home from the hospital in!" [USA Today]
• OMG Tori Spelling's autobiography is gonna be awesome! On Shannen Doherty: "Shannen had everything, but she could be arrogant and carefree. Jennie [Garth] was outspoken when she thought Shannen was out of line. Sometimes they got along, but there were explosions. Once they got into a fistfight. A night with [Shannen] meant going to the hottest club and drinking until the early hours. I knew she was a 'bad influence,' but I liked her anyway." [Perez Hilton]

• Catherine Zeta-Jones is speaking out! She wants you to know that, despite the rumors, she is not anorexic. Uh, we never even heard those rumors. [People]
  
• Owen Wilson's interview on MySpace — conducted by director Wes Anderson — covered a lot of topics, but not Wilson's suicide attempt. [People]
  
• Halle Berry has told Actors Studio host James Lipton that when her father beat her sister and mother, "it was the worst year" of her life. Her parents divorced when she was 4 years old. [Mirror]
  
• Is Britney Spears dating Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo? They were seen "hanging out" over the weekend. Last week we read he was dating One Tree Hill star Sophia Bush, so whatever. [People]

• Kevin Federline's girlfriend, Nicole Narain (known for starring in a sex tape with Colin Farrell) says Kevin has told her shocking things about Britney Spears: She breast-fed while drunk, she has crazy mood swings and she needs to be reminded not to leave the boys alone by the swimming pool. Actually, not so shocking anymore. We're getting desensitized to Brit. [The Sun]
• In a poll by Maxim, the least sexy women include Sarah Jessica Parker, Amy Winehouse, Madonna and Britney Spears. Ugh, like Maxim readers are so hot? [The Sun]
• Kate Moss' nanny has quit, citing 24-hour days and "rootless" living arrangements as the reasons. [Daily Mail]
• Ryan Gosling was seen at an Urban Outfitters in New York "stocking up on flannel shirts." Maybe he's going to be that paper towel guy for Halloween? [Page Six]
• Natalie Portman couldn't get a table without a reservation in a New York restaurant, despite flashing the manager a smile, yawn. [Page Six]
• Michelle Williams may move from Brooklyn to Manhattan — her brownstone is too big for just her and the baby, says a source. Bet she won't go to SoHo, since that's where ex Heath Ledger is said to be looking. [Page Six]
• Rapper Missy Elliott gave singer Ciara an "enormous diamond necklace" for her birthday. Hmm, more than just friends? [Page Six]
• A new Belvedere Vodka campaign shot by Terry Richardson will feature actor/director Vincent Gallo. Let the dirty hipster chic commence. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which magazine columnist with superior airs fakes a friendship with a leading dame of American TV - just so he can get tips from her dinner parties and mock her mercilessly afterward?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
• Michael Lohan on daughter Lindsay's new boyfriend, Riley Giles: "I think the kid is great... She's finally met someone who is not a celebrity." A former drug addict and alleged prescription forger, but not a star, yay! [Rush & Molloy, 4th from bottom]
• Heidi Klum has no regrets about her interview with Oprah in which she talked about hubby Seal's "package." Klum says Oprah has the power to get guests to talk about anything: "She has a spell in her eyeballs that when she looks at you, you are like, 'Yes.'" [People]

• Britney Spears turned herself into the LAPD last night to be booked on her August 6 hit-and-run charge. (You'll recall that while trying to park her car, she hit a parked car, examined the damage, made a pouty face and then walked away. Photographers documented the whole thing.) She was at the police station for 45 minutes, during which she was fingerprinted and photographed, then released. [TMZ]
  
• But before she was booked, she put on a pink wig, sat in her car and posed for photographers, of course. [The Sun]
  
• Natalie Portman gave Julia Roberts a necklace that read "Cunt" after they finished the film Closer because they used so many "dirty words" in the movie. Later, Julia gave Natalie one that read "Lil Cunt." How sweet! [Rush & Molloy]

• Jimmy Kimmel will be flying to New York City every day to guest-host "Live With Regis and Kelly" and then flying back to L.A. to host his own late night show, which is just a fucking ridiculous idea. Seriously. [Rush & Molloy, 9th from bottom]
• Two scantily-clad women were seen screaming at the front desk of the Shore Club Hotel in Miami because they'd spent the night in Derek Jeter's penthouse and were charged for parking. The nerve! [Page Six]
• Hilary Swank will star in a biopic about Amelia Earheart. [Page Six]
• Two women who had claimed that they were taped without permission for Joe Francis' Girls Gone Wild have recanted and issued an apology. Francis remains in jail in Nevada for his tax problems. [Page Six]
• Linda Evangelista gave birth a year ago and said the father was a "New York architect." But is it really François-Henri Pinault, the president of PPR (Gucci, Yves Saint Laurent)? You know, the man engaged to Salma Hayek and the father of her 1-month-old daughter? [Page Six]
• Is Gossip Girl star Chance (Nate Archibald) Crawford dating American Idol Carrie Underwood? Do you give a shit? [Page Six]
• In his memoir, Guns N' Roses star Slash writes that he spent his time on the road in the '80s "in and out of a variety of VD clinics." Lovely. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which teenage brother of hard-partying siblings is following in the family tradition? Visibly drunk at an L.A. nightclub on Saturday, he alarmed pals by vomiting later at a party in the Hollywood Hills, where he had been taken by his sister. And he was just off the plane from boarding school!" [Gatecrasher, last item]
• Lindsay Lohan is back in L.A. to work on her next film, Dare To Love Me. Hopefully she's staying away from some of her old "friends." [People]
• Colin Farrell has revealed that his son suffers from a rare neuro-genetic disorder called Angelman Syndrome, characterized by developmental delay, speech impairment, movement or balance disorder, excessive laughter and even seizures. "The only time I'm reminded that there is something different about him — that he has some deviation of what is perceived to be normal — is when I see him with other 4-year-olds. Then I go, 'Oh yeah,' and it comes back to me," Farrell says. "But from day one I felt that he's the way he's meant to be." [People]
• Jorja Fox is leaving CSI. "There are all these things I want to do. Some are personal. Some are professional," she says. Any fans here? [E!]