• Heidi Klum is changing her name to Heidi Samuel! Did you know that her husband's real name is Seal Henry Olusegun Olumide Adelo Samuel? Short and sweet. [TMZ]

• Last night, David Letterman apologized to female staffers and his wife, saying: "She's been horribly hurt by my behavior. If you hurt a person and it's your responsibility, you try to fix it. At that point, there's only two things that can happen. Either you make some progress and get it fixed, or you're going to fall short and perhaps not get it fixed… Let me tell you folks, I've got my work cut out for me." [NY Daily News]
• David Letterman may have violated CBS rules about supervisor/subordinate relationships. But. David Letterman doesn't work for CBS; he works for Worldwide Pants, his production company. WWP says, "We have a written policy in our employee manual that covers harassment. It is circulated to every employee every year. Dave is not in violation of our policy and no one has ever raised a complaint against him." [TMZ]
• Former Late Show staffer Stephanie Birkitt's diary reveals that she continued having sex with David Letterman even after moving in with her CBS-producer boyfriend. Birkitt told her boyfriend that the relationship was platonic and that she was "just his best friend." [NY Post]
• Craig Ferguson defended David Letterman last night: "The person you work for, the person you admire and respect, is caught in an embarrassing situation," he said. "And your job is to be funny about that, whilst trying to keep your own job." [AP]
• Roman Polanski will find out whether he will be granted a release from prison sometime this week. His legal team filed an appeal on September 29, and the Swiss government should issue a ruling by Friday. [AP]
• Uh-oh: A woman named Regina Kimbell says she showed Chris Rock her 2005 documentary, My Nappy Roots, on the set of his TV show Everybody Hates Chris back in 2007. She believes he stole her idea and turned it into Good Hair, which opens Friday. She's looking for $5 million. [TMZ]
• The judge in the Gosselin case has did not make a decision yesterday regarding the cash Jon withdrew from the joint account. We should hear something soon, though. [TMZ]
• Zondervan, the publishing house that printed Kate Gosselin's earlier books, Multiple Bles8ings and Eight Little Faces is not promoting her third book, Love is in the Mix: Making Meals into Memories on its Web site any longer. The book was supposed to come out in the fall… [MSNBC Scoop]
• OMFG: Lady Gaga on Gossip Girl? Whee! My head is exploding! [Gatecrasher]
• An LA judge ruled Friday that Dr. Arnold Klein — Michael Jackson's dermatologist — does not have the right to raise concern about the welfare of any of Jackson's three children. When asked if he had any legal relationship with the kids, the doctor was "evasive." [NY Post]
• Carrie Fisher's show, Wishful Drinking, suggests that Brad Pitt's public love triangle with Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie is the modern-day equivalent of her dad, Eddie Fisher, leaving mom Debbie Reynolds for raven-haired temptress Elizabeth Taylor. Jennifer Aniston went to see the show! Carries says: "She's a very nice girl. I didn't speak to her, but I heard that she liked it. At least, I hope she liked it." [Gatecrasher]
• The Madonna wedding pix case: Settled. She's accepted a "substantial" amount after suing the owners of The Mail for publishing stolen photos of her wedding to Guy Ritchie. [Mirror]
• "Kate Moss had a bust-up with rocker boyfriend Jamie Hince after she was grabbed by a man in a banana hammock thong at Simon Cowell's $1.6 million 50th birthday bash." [Page Six]
• Russell Brand is in love. Possibly with Katy Perry. He says: "I think I'm in love." [The Sun]
• So many Mad Men weddings! Christina Hendricks, Elisabeth Moss and now Bryan Batt, aka Salvatore Romano. He plans to marry his longtime partner, events planner Tom Cianfichi. A source says it could be Christmas in Vermont. Whee! [Ace Showbiz]
• "Naomi Watts has been named as the Hollywood actress who gives the best return on the money she is paid. The 41-year-old star's last three films made $44 for every $1 she was paid to appear." [Telegraph]
• Amy Winehouse will sing on BBC One's Strictly Come Dancing this weekend — as a backup singer for her goddaughter, 13-year-old Dionne Bromfield. [BBC News]
• Have we decided who would make a better Prince Harry? Robert Pattinson or Rupert Grint? [Telegraph]
• Brooke Burns' dog is missing. [People]
• "The 'husband' divorced by Little Britain star Matt Lucas ten months ago hanged himself yesterday. Kevin McGee, 32, who wed the comic in a 2006 civil ceremony, left a suicide note on Facebook. It declared: 'Kevin McGee thinks death is much better than life.'" [The Sun]
• Kevin McGee "is thought to have become deeply depressed over the past few months after breaking up with the comedian, and friends reported that his drug-taking had spiraled out of control." [Daily Mail]
• "Little Britain star Matt Lucas has pulled out of his lead role in a London play after the death of his former partner Kevin McGee." [BBC News]
• Someone had a seizure during an intense scene during screening of Lars von Trier's Antichrist. You know, the one where Charlotte Gainsbourg tortures Willem Dafoe's twig and berries? [Page Six]
• "The blunt truth is weed-loving rapper Method Man may go to jail because he 'forgot' to pay his taxes." [NY Post]
• Layne Staley may be gone, but Alice In Chains lives on. [CNN]
• Dr. Phil is going to be a grandpa. The kind who knows everything. [People]
• It's been 20 years since Lenny Kravitz's Let Love Rule was released? I feel old. [NY Post]
• Whatshisname is calling his divorce a "never-ending nightmare." [The Sun]
• Whatshername is planning a divorce party. [The Sun]
• "I thought I was going to die for real. I should have felt safe but at a certain point of climbing a mountain, you're in a cloud and you hear a noise that is electricity — what can they do to protect you from electricity in the cloud you're in? So they were like, 'Sit on your bag, it's made of rubber'. I went, 'Why?' They said, 'So you don't get electrocuted'. I was like, 'Hang on, I'm on a TV show!' …I prayed. It was probably about half an hour and this is after two previous meltdowns begging Jack - like, 'Cut! Seriously, rescue me!' and he was like, 'From where? There's nowhere a helicopter can land', so I had to get to the summit to get off." — Natalie Imbruglia on working with Jack Osbourne on his TV show Celebrity Adrenaline Junkie. [News.com.au]
• "I'm tired of holding this in. I don't know what to do with it anymore, so, I've decided to give some of it away." — Tyler Perry, on revealing details about his unhappy childhood, abusive father and being molested by a female neighbor at the age of 10. [NY Daily News]
• "I'm insane or stupid. I can't figure out which." — Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, on performing on Dancing With The Stars despite stress fractures in both feet. [NY Daily News]
• "Anyone who thinks we move in a post-racial society is someone who's been smoking crack." — Spike Lee, 20 years after the release of Do The Right Thing. [Guardian]
• "He's got all these strong women working for him. Strong women survive there." — An anonymous Late Show staffer, on David Letterman. [MSNBC]
• "Less is more. When I wear too much make-up, I feel like a man in drag. I prefer to be low maintenance." — Halle Berry, to In Style. [MSNBC]

• Oh Christ: Jennifer Aniston "burst into tears in her trailer" while filming in New York.

The "unlucky-in-love actress" was late coming out of her trailer while filming The Bounty a few weeks ago, and allegedly tearfully said to an assistant: "I need a moment. This scene reminds me of Brad and me." A source says: "While she enjoyed flirting with Gerard on set and put a brave face on every day, privately she is still very fragile." Eyeroll! (Note: Her rep says this story is "ridiculous… it never happened.") [Page Six]

• By the by, Jennifer Aniston went to see Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig in A Steady Rain on Broadway on Tuesday. [Gatecrasher]
• Samantha Burke, who had a dalliance with Jude Law, gave birth yesterday in Florida. [Page Six]
• What the what? Renée Zellweger is not going to gain a bunch of weight for the third Bridget Jones flick? A source says she will wear a fat suit, out of concern about the health effects of quickly putting and then losing 30 lbs. [MSNBC]
• Katherine Heigl made the news of her adoption public the same day Ellen Pompeo gave birth to a daughter of her own, and a source says: "It looks like they were trying to one-up one another." There's something very Penelope about this: "Well my kid was born earlier than yours, and is already at Harvard, so…" [Page Six]
• John Travolta took the stand yesterday, admitting that his son Jett was autistic and suffered from a seizure disorder — having seizures every five to 10 days. [MSNBC]
• Travolta also said that the ambulance took 40 minutes to reach his son, and by the time his son got to the emergency room, he was not alive. [NY Post]
• The alleged extortionists in the John Travolta case have been caught on video haggling over money; their lawyers will try to get the videotape thrown out of court on the grounds it was illegally recorded. [TMZ]
• Lily Allen: Quitting the music biz. She blogged: "Just so you know, I have not renegotiated my record contract and have no plans to make another record (applause). I do however remain a fan of new music, so this is not some selfish crusade. The days of me making money from recording music has been and gone as far as I'm concerned, so I don't (at this point) stand to profit from legislation… If you can't sell your music, you can't go on. It's that simple." [Digital Spy]
• Lily Allen will concentrate on acting; she will be in a production of Neil LaBute's play Reasons To Be Pretty in London's West End. [Daily Mail]
• Photos of Kelly Bensimon will be in Playboy. A source says: "Kelly is telling everyone that she might be on the cover." The snaps were taken years ago by Kelly's ex, Gilles Bensimon, but a source says: "They're sexy, but they won't set the world on fire." [Page Six]
• Mackenzie Phillips has revealed shocking details of her relationship with her father, and John Phillips' ex wife, Michelle Phillips (who was in the Mamas & The Papas), says: "Mackenzie has a lot of mental illness. She's had a needle stuck up her arm for 35 years. She was arrested for heroin and coke just recently… The whole thing is timed. Mackenzie is jealous of her siblings, who have accomplished a lot and did not become drug addicts." But Michelle Phillips daughter, Chynna Phillips, who is Mackenzie's half sister, says: "After long nights of heroin use, (Mackenzie is) claiming that she once woke up and that my father was on top of her having sex with her. Was he actually raping her? I don't know. Do I believe that they had an incestuous relationship and that it went on for 10 years? Yes." [MSNBC]
• Christina Aguilera recently traveled to Guatemala with the World Food Programme to see the impact of hunger; . Guatemala has the fourth highest child malnutrition rate in the world. Christina says: "WFP urgently needs donations to keep feeding some 150,000  women and undernourished children – I want to raise awareness and open people's eyes so they can get the funds they need to keep on working… One of the biggest lessons I'm taking away from this trip is the importance of healthy food. If a child under two doesn't get the nutrients they need, we can never fix the damage later on." [WFP]
• Kirsten Dunst will testify today against a man accused of burglarizing her hotel room. [NY Daily News]
• Kanye West is being prosecuted for breaking a paparazzi's camera at LAX last September; last Friday, his lawyer went to the judge and pushed back the hearing until late October. Is he still trying to keep a low profile? [TMZ]
• Hmm: Kanye West has posted a video promoting his "Fame Kills" tour with Lady Gaga. So maybe the tour is on after all. [KanyeUniverseCity]
• "First new Michael Jackson song set for release; posthumous single 'This Is It' to hit airwaves" [Gatecrasher]
• Macy Gray was eliminated from Dancing With The Stars and was too distraught to go on Jimmy Kimmel Live afterward, like most eliminated contestants do. Her partner, Jonathan Roberts says: "She put her whole heart into the show. She feels like she let her fans down." [ET]
• Real NYU students find Gossip Girl's version of NYU laughable. [NY Post]
• Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan: Still on. [Page Six]
• Eva Longoria Parker says she wants to go back to school and enroll in a master's program in Chicano studies and political science to learn more about her Mexican roots. She's a Texas native, but her family is originally from the northern Mexican city of Monterrey. [AP]
• In the Anna Nicole Smith case, search warrant affidavits suggest Howard K. Stern put his name on prescriptions for drugs that were given to Smith, and claim that a total of 44 different medications were prescribed for Smith under a number of other names, including Stern's. [NY Post]
• Remember how Suzanne Somers said that Patrick Swayze should have fought his cancer "nutritionally"? Whoopi Goldberg didn't like that, and says: "Patrick did everything and went everywhere to try and stay healthy as long as he could. That he's been gone a week and this statement came out is bad timing and bad taste and Suzanne, you should know better." Now Suzanne says: "In a casual conversation at a private party (with someone who never identified himself as a reporter) at the Toronto Film Festival last week, I was asked about this beloved actor. It was never my intention to make an official statement about his passing. I was not informed or aware I was being interviewed. I would never have been so insensitive as to offer a public statement so close to his untimely passing. I sincerely apologize if my comment has caused any additional pain to his family during this difficult time. I send my deepest condolences for their loss." [Perez]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Jennifer Jason Leigh is pregnant; she and director husband Noah Baumbach (The Squid and the Whale) are expecting a baby in March. [ONTD via National Enquirer]
• Michael Moore stirred up trouble on Good Morning America yesterday, exposing the stripped rights of permalancers. [NY Post]
• Survivor winner Richard Hatch was denied his request to serve the remaining weeks of his sentence for tax evasion in home confinement. He'll have to stay in jail. [USA Today]
• "Phyllida Law, mother of the actress Emma Thompson, has had her stolen gargoyles returned two years after they were stolen after announcing she had put a curse on the thieves." [Telegraph]
• Q: How traumatic is it for you to not be wearing tights and poofy britches?
  A: "It's very easy. I do miss sliding off the back of a horse, but apart from that it's all good. It's actually rather wonderful running around, blazing a Glock on my hip." — Joseph Fiennes on his new show, FlashForward. [Washington Post]
• "I'm a bit scared of being single and scared of getting into another relationship, but I'm married to my work right now." — Natalie Imbruglia, who split from husband Daniel Johns in January 2008. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I took a couple years off and, during that time, I felt like I wanted to know what was important to me, what I really loved and what I was interested in. And if I even wanted to make films anymore. I felt I had done what I had to do. I contemplated being a hermit. I went to a distant mountain top that you could only walk to. No electricity. No water. I spent about five days there and thought, 'This is fantastic. Maybe I am a hermit.' " — Jane Campion, on life after her 2003 film In The Cut, which critics panned. [USA Today]
• "Once I got the part, I did some work with a coach. Everybody else in the show is doing a modern Southern accent and I wanted something old-fashioned. There are no contractions. Bill never says can't or won't. It's always, 'I did not want you to do that,' which is funny because you then find yourself doing it in everyday life, saying things like, 'I cannot stand pains aux raisins.'" — Stephen Moyer on his True Blood character. [Telegraph]
• "I am fine — happy and healthy. It's irresponsible when people obsess about my shape and size. I appreciate there are young girls and women who look at me as a role model and it is untrue to say I do not eat and I am unhealthy. 'I have a healthy diet, a healthy lifestyle and plenty of energy to run after my three energetic boys and travel the world managing my fashion business." — Victoria Beckham. [Daily Mail]
• "We did have a few moments of friction when we were tired or after a long day of shooting. [Jennifer Grey] seemed particularly emotional, sometimes bursting into tears if someone criticized her. Other times, she slipped into silly moods, forcing us to do scenes over and over again when she'd start laughing. I was on overdrive for the whole shoot - staying up all night to do rewrites, squeezing in dance rehearsals, shooting various scenes - and was exhausted a lot of the time. I didn't have a whole lot of patience for doing multiple retakes. It was horrifyingly, hypothermically cold in that lake, and we filmed that scene over and over. And despite the fact that Jennifer was very light, when you're lifting someone in water, even the skinniest little girl can feel like 500 pounds." — Memories of making Dirty Dancing, from Patrick Swayze's memoir. [Gatecrasher]

• A car lost control this weekend and hit Bret Michaels' tour bus on a highway in Canada, causing a five car pile up. No one was injured. [People]

• Michael Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray, was not licensed to prescribe medication in California. A federal law enforcement official said, "Dr. Murray has DEA registration numbers in Nevada and Texas, but he does not have one in California. You absolutely have to have a registration number to prescribe controlled substances, and there was nothing in California." It has been reported that Murray gave MJ Demerol or Oxycontin. He released a statement today through his lawyer saying, "Dr. Murray didn't prescribe or administer anything that should have killed Michael Jackson." [Fox News]
• A California judge ruled that attorney John Branca and music executive John McClain, who were both named in Michael Jackson's will should oversee his estate instead of his mother Katherine Jackson. [NY Post]
• A family source says Michael Jackson's kids have been mostly isolated from media reports of their father's death. "They've been with their grandmother ever since and she's doing everything she can to protect them from all the media focus," the friend said. "They aren't even close to processing all of this. They are probably years away from that, really. But they're doing OK." [MSNBC]
• Mariah Carey will perform "I'll Be There" at Michael Jackson's memorial service tomorrow. [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe won't attend Michael Jackson's memorial service tomorrow. Her lawyer released this statement: "The onslaught of media attention has made it clear her attendance would be an unnecessary distraction to an event that should focus exclusively on Michael's legacy. Debbie will continue to celebrate Michael's memory privately." [TMZ]
• When paparazzi swarming around Debbie Rowe got too close yesterday she yelled, "Are you ready to have your butt kicked? Don't fucking touch me!" [TMZ]
• Elizabeth Taylor will be hospitalized soon but it has nothing to do with Michael Jackson. She Tweeted: "Although my grief over Michael could not be any deeper, I am not on suicide watch as some of the cheaper 'rags' would have you believe... I will always love Michael from the depth of my being and nothing can separate us" and that she's going to the hospital to complete a test I was in the middle of." [Perez Hilton]
• Reports that Tom Green is in critical condition following a car accident are untrue. Apparently it was just an internet hoax. Once again, celebrity death hoaxes = not hilarious. [BuzzFeed]
• Joyce DeWitt of Three's Company was arrested for DUI on July 4th in El Segundo, California. She allegedly drove past a barricade and failed a sobriety test. She's out on bail. [TMZ]
• You can check out Joyce DeWitt's mug shot here: [TMZ]
• Sharon Stone got into a fight with a flight attendant on a plane headed to Salt Lake City. A witness says, "The flight attendant in Kalispell asked her to gate check her bag and Sharon refused and got into a huge fight with her. They eventually took the bag from her and she screamed at her assistant with her and made a scene during the entire flight." Though her rep denies it, the source says she was met by the police when she got off the plane. [Stylelist]
• Casey Kasem retired this week with little notice, saying on his American Top 20 radio show over the weekend, "We began the weekend of July 4, 1970, and after 39 years this will be our final countdown." [ABC News]
• Rachel Weisz wants her fellow stars to stop using Botox. She says, "It should be banned for actors, as steroids are for sportsmen. Acting is all about expression; why would you want to iron out a frown?" [The Mirror]
• Natalie Imbruglia spoke before the United Nations today urging support for women who have fistulas, a hole in their vagina that results from childbirth without assistance or with complications. The classiest part of this article: the reference to her song "Torn" in the first line. [The Associated Press]
• Aerosmith has postponed three shows because Steven Tyler has an undisclosed injury. Joe Perry Tweeted: "Sincere apologies out 2 all Aero Fans regarding the canceled shows. It really bums me out too- you have no idea. Pray 4 Stevens speedy return." [Rolling Stone]
• Shanna Moakler says, "Travis [Barker] is leaving for tour, my babies are going with him, so I'm getting all prepared. We're lucky that Blink [182] tours are very lavish. We each have our own buses. At the venues, we set up kid rooms so the kids can kind of get out of the buses and start running around. We have a runner to take [them] 'round. They're going to be going to Canada, to see the different parts of the States … so it's pretty exciting." [People]
• Anna Paquin says that dating Stephen Moyer makes their onscreen sex scenes on True Blood easier. "Obviously, if you're already with that person then you're not having to sort of get over the 'Wow, I'm naked with someone that I don't even know the middle name of!'" she says. "I think that regardless of what kind of scene you're doing, the better you know the person ... the more open and real your performance can be," she adds. "And that goes for stunt scenes and heavy emotional scenes and sex scenes. OK, so I have a little bit of a leg up in that particular area with my on-screen [partner]." [People]
• Dane Cook's half brother has been indicted in Massachusetts on 20 counts of larceny for allegedly stealing more than $11 million from Cook over a five-year period. [TMZ]
• Kelly Osbourne on Lady GaGa: "She's a Butter Face. She has everything But the face. She reminds me of Peaches Geldof. I love Lady GaGa's tracks but I just wish she'd keep her mouth shut. She talks way too much and has too much attitude. It's starting to make me go off her." [The Mirror]
• 16-year-old Miley Cyrus is on the cover of a women's magazine again. This time it's Elle. In the mag she says of her new clothing line with Max Azria for Wal-Mart: "The jeans are my favorite part of the entire line. Because, like, literally this is going to be good for, like, Middle America, and it will be great for kids that really want to be in fashion but that don't have it available." [Just Jared]
• "I turned 50 last year. It came and went and it wasn't a big deal. And it was nice that the anticipation of it was over. Not that I was sitting around dreading it all the time, but it is a big one and you are sort of entering into your second half. You are saying goodbye to your youth, but at the same time you start to look at the glass as half full. At 50, you've lived long enough to have people that you love die and people get really sick and have full-on hard times, so you just take stock and count your blessings. It starts to happen around this age and it has been really liberating for me. 50 isn't just the new 40. It's actually the new 30. Pass it on!" — Michelle Pfeiffer [The Mirror]
• Emma Watson says she's excited about starting college this fall and taking a break from acting. "I'm going to sound really like Hermione Granger, but my comfort - my way of dealing with all of this if I'm ever really stressed - I will go and open a book and sit and read, and that will de-stress me. For me, learning has been my comfort. This is so geeky, but it's what got me through. I love learning and I don't really want to stop. It was always my dream before I did the films, so I didn't see why that had to change." [The Telegraph]

[London, May 21. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• There will be more on this in Midweek Madness, but this is bananas: Star says that Chris Brown proposed to Rihanna in Miami. Secret wedding?!?! [Star]

• Jennifer Aniston's hair cost £40,000. Well, not really, but she did fly her hairdresser to Europe for a week. [Daily Mail]
• Michael Jackson's comeback is a go: He'll take over London's O2 arena for two months this summer. Apparently his new album has collaborations with Kanye West, Ne-Yo and Will.I.Am. [Daily Mail]
• Perez Hilton went to Britney Spears' first show in New Orleans and says she looked great, "the outfits were fab and her body was bangin! Her leg muscles are ridic!" As for the music? "She lipsynchs [sic] during the entire concert. There is no live singing. None!" [Perez]
• Someone from People also went to the show and writes: "To cap off the show, pyrotechnics made firey rain sprinkle down on Spears and her dance crew as they finished performing "Womanizer.'" [People]
• Madonna doesn't like it when Britney is played in clubs. This report says when a Brit track played at a party, Madonna: "Flipped out, stormed upstairs, and spent the rest of the night aggressively making out with Jesus [Luz, her new boy toy]." [Page Six]
• Jennifer Lopez "borrowed" jewelry for an event, which means she was loaned some and then the jeweler got a call saying Ms. Lopez was going to keep the jewelry. [Page Six]
• Guy Ritchie and Jude Law got drunk and sang along to songs at Ritchie's London pub until 4:30am. From the looks of these pix, it was a boozy good time. [Daily Mail]
• What recession? Your friend Paris Hilton is having a £200,000 diamond-encrusted dashboard made for her pink Bentley. Stimulus package! [The Sun]
• This report claims that Amy Winehouse is trying to win Blake Fielder-Civil back with Frank Sinatra songs. Hmm, "My Way" isn't exactly a love ballad. [The Sun]
• "He dances like a very uptight, prim, erudite, white-haired man dancing at a wedding…" — from a feature on David Byrne. [Village Voice]
• Leonardo DiCaprio will star in Inception, a sci-fi flick written and directed by The Dark Knight's Christopher Nolan. The plot has to do with "the architecture of the mind," whatever that means. [Variety]
• Sherri Shepherd might get a show on Lifetime? There's a pilot based on the experiences of The View host in the works; the script involves a woman who chooses to deal with her husband's infidelity and his illegitimate child by allowing the child and mother to move in with them. [Reuters]
• Justin Timberlake likes truffle oil. [Page Six]
• Elizabeth Hurley has donated a picture of her son for use on a limited edition stamp, which will be sold on eBay to raise money for a domestic violence charity. Missing something here, why would anyone bid on a stamp-sized picture of her son? [Daily Mail]
• Natalie Imbruglia's new album will have input from ex-husband Daniel Johns and Coldplay's Chris Martin. [News.com.au]
• "Pop Superstar Sting Supports Pentagon Hacker, Condemns U.S." Wait, what? [Wired]
• The '00s really are over: Fatboy Slim is in rehab. [The Sun]
• How is it that 40-year-old Patsy Kensit is on wedding number 4? [The Sun]
• Nadya Suleman's ex husband, Marcos Gutierrez, would like you to know: "They are not my kids, but I wish her the best…" [People]
• Nadya Suleman says she'll tell her kids who her dad is. "He's a good platonic friend. He knows well that I will protect him, his identify forever," she told RadarOnline. "Whether or not he knows (the children) in the future, I don't know. This all has to go away first… it's his choice." If by "this" you mean media attention, it isn't going "away" any time soon. [MSNBC Scoop]
• How do you make a crying face emoticon? The videotape of Nadya Suleman giving birth to octuplets is being shopped around for seven figures. [TMZ]
• Jay Kay from Jamiroquai's Ferrari was damaged by a 21-year-old chef in a "moment of madness." [Daily Express]
• Usher issued an apology over statements he made in a video that shows him questioning Chris Brown's remorse after looking at pictures of the singer jet-skiing in Miami. [ONTD]
• Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan will star in a detective comedy called A Couple Of Cops. [Variety]
• Robin Williams has canceled several performances in Florida after experiencing shortness of breath. Be well! [USA Today]
• KISS frontman Paul Stanley is an artist, and his prints on canvas are, naturally, KISS-related. [Time]
• Cool Patricia Clarkson interview. The author describes her voice as one which "emanates from a sandpaper larynx coated in olive oil." [BlackBook]
• Blind items from Michael Musto: "Which American Idol star is a big, old, cigar-butt-chomping lesbo? (In fact, when a cable biography show was being done about her, her people wouldn't let them use early footage that strongly suggested sapphism.) Similarly, which married superstar with multiple Oscar nominations went on a cruise with his boy toy, during which time they ordered up every movie the actor has ever been in and cozily watched them in their cabin? I guess to this guy, porn is basically himself. If the trapdoor to his ego ever opens up, he might finally end up stretching his soul like I did this week. To great applause!" [Village Voice]
• More blind items: "Which female politician, who is married with children, is having an affair with a fellow Democrat who is also married with children? Her friends can't believe she's risking her career to indulge in illicit passion… Which veteran of the '60s antiwar movement was all over a 20-something fashion model sitting next to him on an LA-to-DC flight? The married pol suggested as they landed that she join him at his accommodations." [Page Six]
• Final blind item: "Which celebutard recently got dissed hard by the object of her affection? The lady in question was on the hunt for her stud -while he hid in a corner!" [Gatecrasher]
• "I wouldn't do that again. I did that once, and it was really fun. But that was then and this is now." —Belinda Carlisle, on posing for Playboy. [E!]
• "I hate it when two people are going at it and they turn over and suddenly they're covered up in blankets. I'm all in. I am not going to be wearing a sack. I'd want a little aggression, then we can rip each other's clothes off... We could have a pie fight." — David Boreanaz, on wanting a sex scene on his show, Bones. [Daily Express]
• "I do want another baby but not for a little bit. I've only just lost all the weight so I want to enjoy my old body for a while before I have to become a crazy alien again." — Milla Jovovich, who lost weight by "Diet and lots of exercise, I worked my big, little butt off. It's been a lot of work. At one point I just ate oatmeal, salmon and artichokes everyday for a week. It was definitely a lot easier putting it on!" [Mirror]
• "My kids are very inspired by the idea that you don't have to be just one thing in life. You don't have to just be an actor, you can actually talk about things you're inspired by and try to create the change that you want to see. They're very interested in green issues. They're very into recycling and composting - things they can do within their own school communities." — Reese Witherspoon, Avon goodwill ambassador in the fight against domestic violence and breast cancer and for emergency-relief fundraising. [USA Today]

• Angelina Jolie started working on Salt yesterday, and her character, rogue CIA operative Evelyn A. Salt, has a couple of different looks:

So far we're seeing raven-haired and blonde. Oh, and here's an interesting quote from producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura, about reworking the script originally intended for Tom Cruise: "I had no idea how complex it would be," he says. "We had to rethink the whole notion of how a man vs. a woman operates in the business world, in personal relationship and in friendships." This should be interesting. [USA Today]

• Well, this just isn't nice: After reports came out that Guy Ritchie calls Madonna "It," Madge has been sent 100 copies of the horror movie Stephen King's It. "She's received the packages at all of her addresses so she suspects they are from somebody she knows. And she is furious," a source claims. [News.com.au]
• Krishna Siqueira is the ex-gf of Madonna's new "friend," Jesus Luz. She says: "He is a wonderful person. We were dating and then the magazine shoot came up. Then came the story that he was with her [Madonna]. We took some time out because we imagined he was going away to live and could not continue long-distance dating." Krishna says Jesus is not with Madonna for the publicity: "He's not that kind of person." [Daily Mail]
• Rihanna's family: Apparently not happy about her reconciliation with Chris Brown. "Everyone wants them to take a break, to cool off," a relative of Rihanna tells People. "No one wants them back together." The couple has left Miami and is now in L.A. [People]
• Lindsay Lohan's New York apartment, which she never actually slept in, is for sale. You get two bedrooms, two bathrooms, floor-to-ceiling windows, and an unobstructed view of the Statue of Liberty for the low, low price of $1,200,000. Any takers? [Gothamist]
• Oh, Christ. Lindsay Lohan's crazy ass father has started contacting Lily Allen. Lily says: "I got a Twitter from her dad saying 'Dear Lily, I think you have an alcohol problem that needs addressing. From Michael Lohan.' I was, like, leave me alone." This is not good. [The Sun]
• What's this? Michael Lohan had lunch with Courtenay Semel? A spy says it was superserious: "There was no laughing and no smiling." What could they have been talking about??? [E!]
• Nadya Suleman, mother of 14, says her original six kids are already jealous of the octuplets. When a friend showed the kids a picture of their new siblings, "they hit the picture," Suleman says. Oh, and by the way, she has a new house: "It's safe. It's about 2,800 square feet, four bedrooms. I don't want anyone to know where we are. I have trust issues. I know there are a lot of emotionally disturbed people." [MSNBC Scoop]
• George Clooney texted ex Lisa Snowdon and it made the paper. [Daily Express]
• WTF. Lauren Conrad has a novel?!?! The tome, L.A. Candy, is about Jane, a girl who moves to L.A. and unexpectedly becomes the star of a reality television show. Shocking. [People]
• Britney's family is excited for her tour, which will include a three-ring circus setup and magic tricks. Are they the only ones? [People]
• Wait: Madonna might join Britney on stage. That would be good. [Gatecrasher]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Mariah Carey is not pregnant. Her "baby" is her dog, Jack, and he may be getting his own reality show. Barf. No, wait: Arf. [Fox 411]
• Amy Winehouse has moved out of Camden to a gated house in the suburbs. Though she seems to be planning a "massive Camden pub crawl." [Daily Mail]
• Sharon Osbourne has been sued by the woman whose hair she grabbed on Rock of Love: Charm School. The charges? Battery, negligence and infliction of emotional distress. Seems like the emotional distress part is from just being on a reality show, no? [TMZ]
• Did you catch Jimmy Fallon's first show last night? Apparently Robert DeNiro, who rarely does talk shows, was pretty funny. [Fox 411]
• Mickey Rourke danced with a bathroom attendant. [Gatecrasher]
• Whee! Ashley Jensen, aka Christina, will return to Ugly Betty. She announced she was leaving in January, but now says: "It's time I challenged myself professionally. They haven't killed by character off, so I'll be back at some point." Her Scottish brogue would be sorely missed. [The Sun]
• Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester is inside the new issue of In Style and in this photo, she looks hungover and strung out. [Just Jared]
• Matthew McConaughey is officially in the record business! He's producing a Bermudian roots-reggae artist, naturally. McConaughey says of Mishka: "My one-liner to him is ‘Look, man, I think your music needs to be heard by more ears than it has. I've heard it. I love it. Anybody I've ever turned on to your music ends up loving it.'" Then he put the bong down. [Rolling Stone]
• Danny Boyle may helm the next Bond flick. Upgrade? [The Sun]
• ABC TV series Life On Mars has been canceled. [Variety]
• Uh-oh: The food may have been spoiled at Elton John's Oscar party; some guests ended up "vomiting for days." [Page Six]
• Angela Bassett will make her directorial debut with United States, an indie feature in which a prominent black literary figure writes a faux autobiography from the perspective of a barely literate hoodlum to decry what is wrong with the glorification of "ghetto" culture… and the book is a hit. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Natalie Imbruglia is not, repeat, not dating Prince Harry. She says: "He was just at my birthday party. That was it. I met him for about two seconds." [Daily Express]
• Sienna Miller is trying to charm people in the film industry in L.A. after being shunned over her affair with Balthazar Getty. Good luck! [Daily Express]
• John Travolta and Kelly Preston have written a letter to Lady Lake, FL, thanking the town for its support after their son Jett died. [UPI]
• Someone broke the windows in Jay Kay from Jamiroquai's Ferrari, but it's hard to care. [Daily Mail]
• Check out this Ricky Gervais meltdown, in which he is not pulling a "Christian Bale," even if that is the headline. [LA Times]
• You know how Bruce Willis is being sued for "walking off the set" of a flick he was supposed to direct? He's calling the suit "frivolous and without merit." [E!]
• The Flaming Lips track, "Do You Realize," is now Oklahoma's official rock song. [AP]
• Spinal Tap: Live! The "Unwigged and Unplugged" tour starts April 17 in Vancouver. [AP]
• Simply Red's plane was forced to make an emergency landing en route from Buenos Aires to Brazil, but everyone is okay. Holding back the years tears! [Reuters]
• If you're living on a prayer, get psyched for the Bon Jovi book which comes out in the fall — an "insider portrait" with previously unpublished photographs and text by the band members. [AP]
• Blind item! "Which sexy NYC-based celeb's pickup line needs a little improvement? 'Have we met?' he asks. 'Have we had sex? No? Do you want to?'" [Gatecrasher]
• Bad news: Fred Durst is making a comeback. [Page Six]
• Jim Carrey's daughter Jane has a band called the Jane Carrey band. [The Life Files]
• Legal troubles for Sean Connery: Did he profit from a loan to a former friend? [Daily Mail]
• "Because this album is so sonically different than anything I've done before and captures many flavors of my emotional life and voice, it needed an entirely new name. 'Terra Incognita' means unknown territory — and that's where I wanted to go musically. The guitars are more wild and atmospheric. The groove is dark and deep and allow for a lot of sonic contrasts. It took me five years to really cut my teeth both as a performer and as a songwriter and I wanted to break all the habits I'd gotten used to and let songs develop out of a groove or simple piano notes and melody." — Juliette Lewis, on her new album with her new band, the New Romantiques, who are replacing her former band, The Licks. [NME]
• "I think that criticism is a good thing because it teaches you to (ask) some questions." — Juliette Binoche, on her new dance performance, which the Times of London called "intermittently excruciating." [Breitbart]
• "I'm coping mostly and I'm mostly clean, I won't lie to you it is a struggle. My dad and I are estranged. In his mind if I'm still ­using in any way then I'm not his son. But my mum speaks to me ­secretly. I try and wrap myself up enough so that it doesn't get to me and I don't feel anything but really of course it gets to me. I love the man and I grew up kind of idolising him. It's breaking my heart that for him the be-all and end-all of our relationship is whether or not there's something despicable in my bloodstream. I'd love to just go to football with him like we used to or just go for a drink and be a son and him a father." — Pete Doherty. [Daily Express]

• So much Oscar gossip! For instance:

Amanda Seyfried got her heel caught in a stocking during the song and dance number. Zac Efron's microphone got tangled in his bow tie. We'll never be invited back," Zac joked. Alicia Keys broke a heel; Goldie Hawn snuck in the back where "no one's screaming." Jennifer Aniston was heard whispering to John Mayer: "I really love you, every part of you." [AP]

• On the red carpet, Mickey Rourke told a reporter: "I said to myself, 'I would rather have Loki for another two years than have an Oscar,' and I told her that, you know. But she stayed as long as she could." [E!]
• Mickey Rourke maybe tried to grope Jessica Alba, who "jumped back and made a disgusted face." [Gatecrasher]
• On the red carpet, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt snubbed Ryan Seacrest. Again. [NY Daily News]
• Kate Winslet on the red carpet: "I said to my daughter, 'If I did win the big prize, what do you think I should say?' And she said, 'I just think you should be really crazy and emotional'. I thought, 'You're no good.'" [E!]
• Kate Winslet doesn't want to see Angelina Jolie naked. [E!]
• Robert Pattinson on the red carpet: "I did a rehearsal and messed it up. I am probably going to be the letdown of the entire show." Uh, yeah. You're the let down of the entire show. The Oscars hinge on a sparkly vampire. [E!]
• Did you know that Oscar winners are obliged to sign winners' agreements? The agreements say if they or their heirs ever decide to part ways with their Oscars, they must offer to sell the awards back to the Academy for $1 each. Matilda Ledger will have to sign this when she turns 18, apparently. [E!]
• A review of the show: "Hugh Jackman a winner but production was a lost cause." [NY Daily News]
• Harvey Weinstein had a party Saturday night and everyone was there: Robert DeNiro, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Alba, and Miss Lindsay Lohan, who showed up with a guy who owns local luxury car dealerships. [Fox 411]
• Katie "Jordan" Price attended Elton John's Oscar party, and her "rival," Victoria Beckham, was there. No showcase showdown occurred. [Daily Mail]
• An insider on Rachel Zoe: "Her television career is interfering with her styling work. Clients are getting very upset." This is why she was seen "flipping out over the phone and screaming at the top of her lungs" at the Weinstein pre-Oscar party. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which married Oscar nominee has been cheating on his wife with a hard-partying starlet?" [Gatecrasher]
• Jennifer Aniston didn't run into Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie at the Dreamworks Oscar bash — because they didn't show up! [Gatecrasher]
• Penelope Cruz and Tom Cruise did run into each other at an Oscar party. "Penelope tapped him on the shoulder and timidly asked, 'Tom?' Tom turned around, got visibly flustered and awkwardly said, 'Oh, hey. Hi,' and gave her a small, distant hug before turning back around to his friends. It was weird." [Perez]
• Here's a rundown of all the Oscar winners. [NY Post]
• Meanwhile, Chris Brown called Rihanna to wish her a happy birthday. He also sent her a diamond bracelet and necklace, as well as an iPod Touch. Friday night, Rihanna had a birthday party that was Blackjack-themed (Chris was not there) and then jetted off to Barbados. [Gatecrasher]
• What the fuck is up with CNN anchor Kiran Chetry saying that Rihanna will have to deal with the "stigma" of being an abuse victim? Writes Barbara Morrill: "Do we use such terminology about victims in a robbery? When a man beats up another man?" Some dude says, "She'll be remembered for this, rather than her own talents." This is not right. [Daily Kos]
• Amy Winehouse stays busy: Now she's accused of splitting up a lesbian couple. An unnamed woman claims she found her girlfriend in bed with Amy Winehouse, and that Amy asked if she wanted to join. This woman changed her MySpace profile to read: "Amy Winehouse asked me for a threesome and I said no, no, no." [Mirror]
• George Clooney is in Darfur, but the United Nations is pulling his security escort, since he has been speaking out on the troubles in the area. Please Cloons, be careful! [Daily Express]
• Nicholas Kristof says he and George Clooney are bunking in a tiny room in a guest house and "George's side of the room has a big splotch of something that sure looks like blood." [NY Times]
• Speaking of putting yourself in harm's way, T-Pain has canceled a concert in Guyana after "credible death and kidnapping threats." Someone doesn't like Auto-Tune! [E!]
• Oooh, will Michelle Obama be on the first non-Oprah cover of O magazine? [Liz Smith]
• Harlow Madden will be a big sister! Nicole Richie is pregnant again. [ONTD]
• Guy Ritchie might be dating a film producer on his Sherlock Holmes film, or just, you know, hanging out with a coworker. [Daily Mail]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony threw a birthday party for their 1-year-old twins on Saturday in the backyard at their home in Bel Air. A clown was involved. [People]
• Cruz Beckham's birthday looks awesome: He turned four, while dressed as Wolverine, at the Xtreme Martial Arts World Headquarters in Hollywood. Eva Longoria and nieces attended! [Daily Mail]
• During his speech at the Independent Spirit Awards, Mickey Rourke said Eric Roberts "is the fucking man and he deserves another chance." No one seems sure why he felt the need to make this point. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Prince Harry and Natalie Imbruglia: Flirting via text message? [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile, in a new documentary, a journalist says of Prince William: "He's doing almost nothing. I'm sorry, but as second in line of succession to the throne, he really should be doing more." [Telegraph]
• In this video, Rosario Dawson talks about her mother licking her in public. Yeah. She's traumatized by spit. There's more, about lesbians/sex/virginity. [NY Times]
• Slade Smiley, from Real Housewives Of Orange County, has been arrested. It's a civil contempt charge. [UPI]
• Al Pacino will play Salvador Dali in a new film; but not the same one in which Antonio Banderas will play Dali or the one in which Robert Pattinson plays Dali. Who will be more surreal? [Daily Express]
• Freida Pinto's ex is still talking about how Slumdog Millionaire wrecked their relationship, and how upset he is that Freida is getting close to Dev Patel: "Now everywhere I go I see them on billboards. I am devastated." This is from the paper that loves to shame women, don't forget. [Daily Mail]
• By the by, Salman Rushdie hated Slumdog, saying it "piles impossibility on impossibility." [AP]
• Bruce Springsteen will headline this summer's Glastonbury festival, bringing "Born In The USA" to the UK. [Telegraph]
• Is Michael Jackson making a comeback? He's reportedly in talks to do 30 live shows in London or Las Vegas later this year. Then again, a couple of weeks ago, he was reportedly dying. [NY Daily News]
• In this Q&A, Matt Groening talks about changing the main titles of The Simpsons: "We're always throwing in what we call Black Bart gags, where Bart is writing on the blackboard, and we switch little things around. Lisa's saxophone solo switches." [NY Post]
• Richard Gere and his wife have opened up an inn. They are innkeepers now. Do with this what you will. [NY Mag]
• The creative director and global business strategist of INXS, Chris Murphy, swears they did not dump their lead singer JD Fortune from the band in the middle of a busy airport. [News.com.au]
• Debbie Gibson's house in the Hollywood Hills is for sale and photos reveal that there is a mirrored piano in the living room and a 7-up can by the bathroom sink. [The Real Estalker]
• Charlie Sheen and wife Brooke had a sports-themed baby shower, if you care. [People]
• "I've been through a lot. I can't sleep, sometimes I wake up at night. I still see him." — Housekeeper Teresa Solomon, who found Heath Ledger dead more than a year ago. [News.com.au]
• "My intention is to be Prime Minister of Canada, not Governor General, which is mainly a ceremonial position." — William Shatner. [PR-Inside]
• "Some beautiful women are passive in the bedroom. They're gorgeous, they know they're gorgeous and they don't feel the need to do anything beyond being gorgeous. Elizabeth Taylor was not one of those women. Being with her was like sticking an eggbeater in your brain." — from an essay by Robert Wagner. [Daily Mail]
• "There's a lot of gay people that dress better than me… No, I just think it's a stereotype that all gay people dress good, and then it's also a stereotype that if you dress good, you're gay." — Kanye West. [NY Mag]
• "I think about it; because I am effeminate I've always thought about it, 'Am I gay?' And then, I so love being with women, and I so love women's bodies and all that. I think, well no, I can't be. But sometimes I think it would just be simpler if I was, because everyone thinks I am. I'm quite camp, but no, I don't think I am. If I was gay, I would just get on with it. But definitely I love women, I love being around women, I find them incredible and intoxicating, and I've never had that feeling I get with women with a man." — David Walliams of Little Britain. [Guardian]
• "From the first day I met her, she said, 'I want us to be friends and I want you to know that you are a huge part of our family and are welcome any time.' She has been as good as her word. Dad and I have had our ups and downs over the years but Catherine is someone who has cemented the family together. She and Dad were in Los Angeles two weeks ago because he got some sort of lifetime achievement award and we all went out to dinner. I've never seen my father as happy as he is with her. It's cool to see." — Cameron Douglas on Catherine Zeta-Jones being good for his dad, Michael Douglas. [Daily Mail]
• "It's always great to rehearse on a plane, because people think you're mad… Emotionality is really easy for me. My father always said that Fondas can cry at a good steak. And so on a personal and professional level it's great for me not to have to do that." — Jane Fonda , 71 (?!?) on her role in Broadway show 33 Variations. (The show is being protested by Vietnam vets.) [NY Times, UPI]
• "I have decided to freeze myself when I die. You know, cryonics. You pay a lot of money and you get stuck in a deep freeze once you've been declared dead. Medical science is bound to work out a way of bringing us back to life in the next century or so, and I want to be available when they do. I would be doing the nation an invaluable service." — Simon Cowell. [Daily Mail]
• "[Partying] is what I do for a living. I get paid to go to events and parties, and it's fun." — Paris Hilton. [Gatecrasher]

• Britney Spears's comeback includes a stop at NBC’s Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony on December 3. Will she perform? Will she push the button and light the tree? Will she ice skate? So many questions. [MSNBC]
• Wait a minute: In this report, Britney says her new life sucks! "There’s no excitement, there’s no passion. I have really good days, and then I have bad days. Even when you go to jail you know there’s the time when you’re gonna get out. But in this situation, it’s never ending. It’s just like Groundhog Day every day. […] I think it’s too in control. If I wasn’t under the restraints I’m under, I’d feel so liberated. When I tell them the way I feel, it’s like they hear but they’re really not listening." B-but- you're doing so well! [The Sun]
• Brit's new CD leaked all over the internet yesterday, probably deliberately. Fans dig it. [The Sun]
• Barack Obama's barber in Chicago says the President-Elect doesn't mind having gray hair. "It's not like he has a head full of gray hair," says Zariff, who only goes by one name. "It's just a few gray hairs, so it's nothing to get excited about." Oh! And Zariff might visit DC! "I said, 'I'm going with you' [if you win]," Zariff told Obama. His reply? "Absolutely. I'm not changing barbers, man." [Us]
• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer had a romantic candlelight dinner. It's so on. [People]

• Have you seen Rihanna's new video, the one with Justin Timberlake? She slithers on the hood of a car, he's dripping wet in a wife beater. They embrace. It's HOT. [Concrete Loop]
• Jessica Simpson says her sister Ashlee may induce labor. What is she doing?
  "Different foot massages and stuff," Jessica told Ellen DeGeneres on her show (which airs Wednesday). "I don't know. I think she's really just jumping around trying everything right now." [People]
• Angelina Jolie was on BBC radio last night, talking about Changeling. There's video, so if you want to see her ignoring the camera, being incredibly reserved and looking down and being quiet, by all means, watch. [Perez Hilton]
• Angelina got super emotional while talking about her mom at a press conference in London. Tears! [Perez Hilton]
• When asked if the public could expect her to add to her enormous family with Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie replied: "Sure you can." [Mirror]
• By the by, Angelina's dad Jon Voight says he has one wish before he dies and it's "to work with my son [James Haven] and Angie again, in a movie. The three of us together. That would be nice." [MSNBC]
• Get psyched: Miley Cyrus will perform on the finale of Dancing With The Stars, just two days after her 16th birthday. Her song is called "Fly On The Wall," maybe you want to get the lyrics and sing along? [People, UPI]
• Jennifer Lopez loves motherhood and wants more babies. Cashmere onesies for everyone! [MSNBC]
• Tim Robbins has written an open letter to Gregory C. Soumas of the New York City Board of Elections. It begins: "I would like to publicly apologize for being such a dim-witted dilettante on Election Day. I was under the naïve assumption that I could vote where I voted in the last two elections." And it ends: "I was thinking of returning that favor by publishing your home address in this letter but then I thought that maybe one of the thousands of New Yorkers that were taken off the voter rolls in the last two months might not understand what a patriotic upstanding man you are and might show up at your doorstep with the misguided assumption that you are a petty vindictive corrupt scumbag." [Huffington Post]
• Christian Siriano: Engaged! He also might appear on Gossip Girl and says his next collection is "a little bit inspired by Egypt." Oh, and he saw the Victoria's Secret fashion show and declares: "Tranny Klum is fabulous." That's Heidi to you and me. [E!]
• William from Stylista has written a goodbye letter, in which he says: "I want Ashlie to win! Hands down! Team Ashlie all the way! She is, quite possibly, the only sane person (minus the hysterics) left on the show. Now, that's not to say that I don't like a little crazy, but honestly, I could sing Ashlie's praises all day." [Elle]
• Authorities found "multiple prescription bottles" by the body of Paula Goodspeed after she allegedly overdosed near Paula Abdul's house last week. [TMZ]
• An extra in a courtroom scene on NBC's Medium was so disruptive, he was kicked out of the jury box. Turns out he was Sasha Baron Cohen, dressed as Bruno. Guess Patricia Aquette didn't see that one coming. [EW]
• Lipstick Jungle: Not canceled. Yet. [NY Mag, NY Times]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt's trailer on the set of Ghost Whisperer was burgled. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson will not go to London, despite being sued by former pal Prince Abdullah of Bahrain. The cash was an advance, in exchange for two albums, a musical, and an autobiography. None of which Jackson has delivered. The trial started yesterday and continues today, without Jackson's presence; his lawyer says he is to ill to travel. [Fox 411]
• Courtney Love went on some kind of blogathon on Sunday, posting 60 times. Now she writes: "I didnt know that style.com would put all those links together, i dont ingest alchohol and to even make the merest suggestion of a Cr__k P–e is insane and mean.and a lie, wichyou know perfectly well." She also says: "i am not suicidal, occasionally very occasioanly like all of us i get depressed, and that was over a year ago and i had a mini little depression attack well big one, and the Lanvin show made me happier, i dont know quite why it happened but i find that mediciation is not the answer to this, working out and doing daimoku ( chanting) is as is yoga and eating correctly and i want somemore Kombucha tea i think that stuff is miraculous for glow and health. those things work far better than this chemical culture of numbing our rage and numbing our pains and demons." There's a [sic] on all of that, obvs. [Perez Hilton]
• Simon Cowell and Terri Seymour wer on Extra. They were asked why they broke up. Simon said: "Because Terri decided to dump me. You sent me a text." Terri replied: "I didn't dump you. It was just time. We had a great six years, and we're the best of friends." Simon denied that Terri got a £5 million "golden goodbye." He laughed: "If anything I should be getting the money." [Daily Mail]
• Russell Brand's girlfriend, Sydney Jo Jackson, is cute and curly-haired, but this paper says she is "equally barmy in the barnet department." [The Sun]
• Lenny Kravitz is having trouble selling is sexy penthouse, a "moody orgy palace" priced at $18 million. It's been on the market for six years; dreadlocked rockstar not included. [NY Mag via Curbed]
• What's in Julianne Moore's makeup bag? Kiehl's Original Musk, Tarte Cheek Stain in Blushing Bride, Olay Complete Defense Daily UV Moisturizer. And more. [Marie Claire]
• Jessica Lange has a book of photography and it is gorgeous. Click to see some black and white shots. [NY Mag]
• Brandon Walters, a 6 year old aboriginal boy who stars with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman in Australia, is suddenly famous, but Nicole says: "I feel very protective of him. If the film does really well he is going to need a lot of protection." His mom says: "If it does become a problem for him we'll just go out bush, get away from it all. Now he's at school, he's happy and never stops talking. The film made him confident. He's no longer shy." [Reuters]
• Seth Rogan wants to make a porno-based comedy for Showtime. It would be a series about three twentysomethings who learn about life and love while running a pornography shop, and it's in development. [Variety]
• Rashida Jones: Back on NBC! She'll star in Amy Poehler's new show. [Page Six]
• Beef between Damon Dash and Jay-Z: Kanye West is involved, as are diamond chains. [Rush & Molloy]
• Speaking of Kanye, 50 Cent says Mr. West's new album is "interesting" and that the public "won't forgive him for it" and that it's actually "T-Pain's album." Ouch. [The.Life Files]
• Celine Dion has been forced to postpone several tour dates due to a respiratory virus. Her people say: "Her physician has instructed her to refrain from singing in order to completely recover." [Perez Hilton]
• Heather Locklear: Formally charged with DUI after that incident when she was arrested in September. She's been charged with one count of driving under the influence of prescription drugs. [Extra, TMZ]
• Actress Heather Matarazzo was supposed to marry girlfriend Caroline Murphy in California, but now that Prop 8 has passed, she jokes, "We're breaking up. I'm going to get together with [MSNBC's] Keith Olbermann. We'll have babies, lots of babies!" [Rush & Molloy]
• Spotted: Natalie Imbruglia snogging Will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas. [Mirror]
• Meg Ryan has won a German lifetime achievement award for best international actress and will pick up the statuette at a gala ceremony November 27. They're calling her the "queen of romantic comedy" and seem to think it is still 1989. [Yahoo News]
• Stan Lee and Olivia de Havilland both received the National Medal of Arts and the National Humanities Medal at the White House yesterday. [Washington Post]
• The Daily Mail apologizes for its "inaccurate" article about David Duchovny and his tennis coach. [People]
• "So how did Steve Martin and Maureen McCormick end up on a date? Florence Henderson knew Chevy Chase, who knew Steve Martin, who wanted Maureen's phone number. They had dinner and made out and the kissing was good, but Maureen was out of it. It would be their only date." [Huffington Post]
• This story, called "Producers' fury at George Takei for boldly going where he shouldn't have" is about how Takei urinated in the camp in the middle of the night on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. Producers are pissed! [Daily Mail]
• So far, George Takei is the favorite to win the show! [Mirror]
• Katie "Jordan" Price and husband Peter Andre are not on the rocks; here is a picture of her wearing a giant "P" necklace to prove it. [The Sun]
• Mindy McCready, who was released from jail two weeks ago, says she isn't proud of an affair she had with baseball great Roger Clemens. She met Clemens when she was 16 but didn't have sex with him until several years later. "Roger Clemens is one of the most wonderful men I've ever known. He treated me like a princess." But! She says she now has "nothing but remorse and nothing but sympathy for what [his wife Debbie] had to go through with this situation, and she has my utmost apology." [UPI]
• Coming to Broadway: Priscilla Queen of the Desert, the musical! [UPI]
• Mary Delgado , a former NFL cheerleader and winner of The Bachelor in 2004, is out of jail after being arrested in a southwest border-town bar for unruly behavior. Drama! [AP]
• Cheech and Chong: Gonna get roasted. Not baked, roasted! [UPI]
• A poem handwritten by Sir Paul McCartney for his friend Spike Milligan is to be sold at auction next week. It's called "The Poet Of Dumbswoman Lane." [Telegraph]
• Five year old Beatrice McCartney is on her dad's new track, a Sir Paul ditty called "Two Magpies." [Mirror]
• Bogota, Colombia hearts Duran Duran. [Guardian]
• "'Climb every Mountain' is a beautiful statement of philosophy. Critics may think The Sound of Music is saccharine, but I think it's profound." — Jon Voight. [MSNBC]
• "I've gotten more stylish since I've been with my husband. I was always making fun of him because he has so many leather coats, jackets and shoes. But he looks hot. I want to look good for him. So I kind of stepped it up a bit." — Heidi Klum in In Style. [People]
• "There's no smoking. The lights never go out, 24/7. You can't cover anything. You can't even put your head under a blanket. All the cells have cameras in them. I was told, you know, 'You'll have your own cell.' But I didn't for the first two or three weeks; I had a cell mate. He got out – but not for long. He came back in pretty quick." — Keifer Sutherland on his stint in jail, in Men's Vogue. [People]
• "Pete and I laugh about it. We can’t win. If we’re smiling for the cameras they say we’re setting it up to gloss over the cracks. If we’re not together they think we’ve split up." — Katie "Jordan" Price on the breakup rumors about her and husband Peter Andre. [Daily Mail]
• "Yes, I have solar panels and all that sort of stuff. However, the more I learn about the subject matter, I also realise that people find it patronizing. They feel like they're being told what to do when somebody like me talks about the fact I have solar panels. Not everybody can get solar panels and not everyone can drive a hybrid car. It's not about blame or telling people how to live, it's just about saying, 'Let's all be aware of these issues.'" — Leonardo DiCaprio. [Daily Express]
• "In terms of my future as an actor and stuff, I don't know. I am in a place in my life where... I've had some great opportunities and I may just choose to have some more children. I've no idea what is in my future but I am very at peace with where I want to be. There are many things I want to do besides act." — Nicole Kidman. [Reuters]
• "Sometimes I lie in bed and I'm like, 'Oh my god, there's Seal lying next to me. What's he doing there?' I get a smile on my face immediately. Our honeymoon period is definitely not over." — Heidi Klum in In Style. [People]
• "We feed the chickens and the pigs — I have two pigs, and boy are they really pigs. They just get down in that mud and roll around. I like getting down in there and working in the garden. Oh, I want someone to build me a good chicken coop… like a man who can just get down there and build it…ooh." — Reese Witherspoon, on taking her kids to her farm outside of L.A. [USA Today]

[London, September 9. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[March 3, London. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

MOE: PATTI SOLIS DOYLE. I wish I knew more about her other than she looks like Rachel Ray and according to Drudge is Latina. I guess he's saying she's outlived her usefulness since all Latins were already too racist to vote for the black? I know I read once in More magazine I think about the travails of being Patti Solis Doyle and ... how it's tough to be a working mom etc. etc. Other than that I'm drawing a blank. Always more distracted by the sight of Huma Abedin. What do you have?
MEGAN: I got nothin'. I guess I had sort of assumed that, given the incestuous nature of politics in DC, that she was related to Congresswoman Hilda Solis, but wikipedia tells me I'm wrong. She's actually from Chicago AND worked for Mayor Daley's campaign... and Michelle Obama used to work for Mayor Daley. And her strategy has definitely been kind of hit-or-miss this campaign. But, stupid to fire her 2 days before tomorrow's primaries, I think. Your campaign manager should never be the story.
MOE: Oh, my brother came up with an interesting theory he just emailed to me. It just started to make sense now. He thinks Romney helped Obama by "making McCain the sure-thing for Republicans." Now, independents who would have gone to the Republican primaries to vote for McCain are instead going to the Democratic primaries to vote for Obama. He said this is what is happening with his friend's dads — all Virginia guys.
It's the faith of my fathers/dreams from my father thing. I'm telling you, this campaign will turn out to be about Manhood yet!
Oh yeah and I guess we should also discuss whether it was, like, "expected" that Obama would win all those states by those insane margins? And was Nebraska the biggest surprise? I always thought of Nebraska as being pretty much like Oklahoma.
MEGAN: Well, but Nebraska and Maine were both closed primaries/caucuses, as is Maryland's and DC. It might make a difference in VA tomorrow, though.
Nebraska's a weird state anyway. It has a unicameral nonpartisan legislature.
MOE: Who's favored in Maryland? I imagine that a huge percentage of MD Dems have worked w. the Clintons but that's not necessarily an advantage for their campaign.
MEGAN: As for Washington state, a friend from Seattle told me this weekend that Barack's events attracted at least 3 times the people's as Hillary's events last week.
The last 3 polls in Maryland show Obama leading by an average of 21 points.
According to The Sun, it's because of the strength of black voters in the state, but Governor Martin O'Malley (whose doesn't think superdelegate vote is currently committed to the Hills) doesn't think it's an issue for the Democratic party to put forward a candidate that a majority of African-American voters in his state (and many others) didn't support because they'll still vote Democratic in November.
MOE: Okay so I actually just read one of those Solis Doyle stories. They are blaming it on the cash crunch; Patti didn't tell Hillary she was running out of cash etc. etc. ... sounds like some sort of spin. But on the other hand, who was letting them ride around in private jets if they were burning through dough that way? Have you seen any stories on, you know, places the Clinton campaign might have saved $$$ ?? In other news she apparently clashed with Bill. I dunno, I realize this strategy worked for McCain, but that was last summer...
And dude?! Mark Penn got FOUR MILLION DOLLARS??!
MEGAN: Oooh, I guess we know who walked Patti out, eh?
All those campaign consultants are bigger blood-suckers than lobbyists, imho
MOE: Srsly! And I mean, honestly, for what? So that fucking Terry McAuliffe can go on teevee and say "Are you suggesting we DISENFRANCHISE THE VOTERS OF FLORIDA Keith? Surely you don't suggest we DISENFRANCHISE THOSE VOTERS!!!"
MEGAN: Penn is getting paid twice as much as Axelrod is getting paid by Obama, who's raking in way more cash right now.
But she did jump on the flat fees for media consultants bandwagon ahead of Obama, which was probably a money saver, since those people bilked Kerry for $9 million last time. They get paid a fee per ad, btw, for how many ads air. They're the ones I blame.
MOE: It's funny. I vaguely remember the Cinton administration seeming like an old diesel powered station wagon, or like Pig Pen, w. like, a big cloud of internal strife and dissent wherever it went, in stark contrast to Bush and his sorta hard shiny coat of loyalty and mind control, where the only option for a rank-breaker would be to go unload to Ron Suskind.
Anyway HAPPY MEDIUM. THERE'S GOTTA BE A HAPPY MEDIUM RIGHT?
MEGAN: There are no mediums in politics!
Happy or otherwise.
They pay shitty, whether it's for a campaign or in the government, so they only attract the TRULY COMMITTED who aren't really the types of people who swim happily in the grey areas.
MOE: It also seems like maybe Patti failed to wrest an endorsement out of John Edwards and that did it?
MEGAN: If Hillary herself couldn't do it, how was Patti going to?
MOE: She has such a nice face! She seems so breezy and approachable! Maybe they got along!
But not well enough. When is Edwards supposed to come out + endorse somebody?
He is "said to be torn."
MEGAN: I think having not yet done so, he's not really going to until he absolutely has to. Why would he? He probs isn't a superdelegate, so it's his only real vote.
MOE: Okay and just in case you forgot about the Bush administration still like running things and all, six lucky Guantanamo detainees are finally going to get their day in "court." The Pentagon seeks to kill them all. But what of the rest of the guys in Guantanamo? That's for the next administration to deal with!
And Mike Huckabee...persists.
MEGAN: Because The Jesus will help him prevail against that McCain guy.

• Britney Spears defied court-mandated visitation hours last night by refusing to turn her sons over to ex-husband Kevin Federline. So the cops were called! And then an "intoxicated" Britney was taken, via ambulance, to the Cedars Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. [Us Magazine]
  
• Britney is still in the hospital for "an evaluation." She was under the influence of an "unknown substance." [People]
  
• There were nine police cars and three ambulances involved in the fracas, and Britney made a "rude hand gesture" as she was brought out of the ambulance on a gurney. [Reuters]
  
• And here's a report saying that two-year-old Jayden James is in the hospital as well. [TMZ]
  
• Wanna see video of Britney being rushed to the hospital? Click here. [Defamer]
  
• If you'd like to see some video of a Fox News helicopter capturing this insanity, click here. [Defamer]

• Pamela Anderson is moving ahead with her divorce from Rick Salomon: Papers have been served. Surely she'll bounce back from this and get right back out there. Soon she'll be ready for wedding number four! [Us Magazine]
• Is Kim Kardashian's so-called engagement just like her so-called $50 grand airport theft: Just a story to keep her name in the papers? [Page Six]
• Jennifer Lopez' twins are almost due, and friends say she is having a boy and a girl. [Page Six]
• Did Jay-Z quit as CEO of Def Jam records because the job doesn't pay enough? [Page Six]
• Poor Avril Lavigne! The lil' punk cried on New Year's Eve because Lil' Jon grabbed the mic and did the countdown at the party she was "hosting." [Page Six]
• Some dude claims he has video of Vivica Fox giving him a blowjob. Good morning! [Rush & Molloy]
• "Paris Hilton gave me my first alcohol poisoning!" — Kelly Osbourne. "I did? That's hot." — Paris Hilton. [Rush & Molloy]
• Blind item! "Which wholesome pop-star crooner demands that bags of blow be presented to him following his concerts?" [Rush & Molloy]
• Madonna's been taking long horseback safari outings in India, galloping for 17 mile stretches. There's a joke in there about being ridden long and hard but like, whatever. [Times Of India]
• Singer Natalie Imbruglia has split from her husband Daniel Johns, frontman of the band Silverchair. She was the one with the really good video, remember? Although she said she was "lying naked on the floor," but she totally wasn't. [Mirror]
• Eddie Murphy's beach marriage is invalid! A law specialist in French Polynesia notes that to be legally wed there you must live in the area for at least 30 days. OMG fake wedding! [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Oh, but Eddie and Tracey Edmonds are planning a legal ceremony in the US. Their Bora Bora wedding was a "spiritual ceremony." Cool. [People]
• Leonardo DiCaprio's neighbors are trying to sue him for building a basketball court they claim destabilized their property. The judge ain't having it: She says the couple are "seeking a scapegoat." [USA Today]
• Amy Winehouse is on holiday in the Caribbean while her husband remains in jail, but apparently she's been mopey because her friends didn't join her — sources say they didn't want to come unless she was trying to sober up, and she's not. Sigh. [The Sun]
• Meanwhile her husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, has been voted Britain's top anti-icon by Arena magazine. They're calling him the "worst husband ever." [Independent]
• Former number one tennis star Martina Hingis is banned from the sport for two years, due to her positive cocaine test. Of course, when the results first came back, Hingis insisted she was "100% innocent" and retired. So. [BBC]