Would a Rose by any other name smell as sweet? Maybe. But she might not vote the same way.

It's always admirable when you see someone change something that they don't like about their lives. Maybe they move apartments, maybe they break up with a partner who isn't treating them right or maybe they decide to legally change their name to "Sexy" because they think it suits them better than "Sheila." Fair…

New year, new babies! And as the clock struck midnight, ringing in 2014, brand new kids with brand new names were born.

Sometimes the universe works in mysterious ways, kind of like how I met so many girls named Jennifer in college. And 18 years from now, a good chunk of incoming university freshmen will be named Sophia and Jayden. Welcome to 2013's top baby names.

At this point in my life, I think the sentence I hear most is "I have a 9-month-old named Sophia."

Sorry-for-sin, Fly-fornication, and Job-raked-out-of-the-ashes are all truly terrifying names found in Curiosities of Puritan nomenclature (1888), a collection of Puritan names chosen "to remind the child about sin and pain." And also, "to make everyone else giggle."

In yet another case of religion meets stupidity meets power, Tennessee Child Support Magistrate Lu Ann Ballew changed a 7-month-old boy's name to Martin from Messiah, saying the religious name was earned by one person and "that one person is Jesus Christ."

You know how sometimes two celebrities touch genitals and then, later, a smaller, slimier celebrity comes out? That's called "entertainment," and our eyeballs eat it for their food. Once the celebribaby slides down the "red carpet" (VAGINA CANAL) and into the "spotlight" (PAN OF BABY LEFTOVERS), it's time to give it…

The Social Security Administration has released its annual list of the most popular names, and the number ones — Jacob and Sophia — are the same as last year. But beyond the top ten, many of the names for girls growing in popularity invoke strength and courage instead of delicacy. Case in point: Arya — as in the…

"Why, in 2013, does getting married mean giving up the most basic marker of your identity?" asks Jill Filipovic in the Guardian today. "And if family unity is so important, why don't men ever change their names?"

Apparently some people are up in arms about the fact that 26-year-old Natasha Hill is taking $5,000 to let the public name her baby. What's so wrong with that? It's a public vote, so she'll just end up with something super popular and generic, right? Like Max or Isabella. (or SOOKIE??)

What is with people at their complete inability to say this Oscar nominee's name? And I'm not just talking about your average person on the street corner — I'm referring to members of the press who know they'll be interviewing Oscar Nominee Quvenzhané Wallis. Instead of learning her name, one just straight up called…

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Here in the U.S., we give our kids ridiculous names like "Hashtag," because this is AMERICA. But some countries, such as Iceland, have very stringent and arbitrary rules regarding monikers.

During my pregnancy I was aware that my mother and her contemporaries were colluding over what they wanted my baby to call her. Apparently, it's a thing now for grandparents to choose their own names that set them apart from the typical and totally normal "Grandma" and "Grandpa," treating the act as though it were a…

We all do it: we meet people, we forget their names, and then when we see them again, we say apologetically, "I'm sorry, I'm terrible with names? What's yours again?" Except it seems the truth may be that we aren't terrible with names—we just don't care enough to remember them. Ouch.

The US Social Security Administration released a list of the most popular baby names from 2011, and each of the top 5 girls' names ends with the letter "a." You know, like your privates.

Having a long name is annoying for many reasons—introductions are complicated, filling out forms is a pain in the ass—but one woman in England purposefully gave herself an incredibly cumbersome name in order to help a charity she started after her son died. And in the process she ended up breaking the record for the…