mystery! - Jezebel

posts about #mystery more →
Can A Woman Be A Pickup Artist?
Jane Addiction
Is Fake "Wing-Woman" The New Reality?
The Butler Hid It
Spinster Hall Of Fame: Miss Marple
The Book Of Love

Would You Pay For Dating Advice From Someone Who Calls Himself "Savoy"?
Meet Satoshi Fujita: The Japanese "Mystery" With A Wig And A Prayer
Men Are Awful At Picking Up Women The World Over

Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

Dsmvwl Admin Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

The Lone Scout
09/22/09

In reply to Can A Woman Be A Pickup Artist?
Hey, I'm pretty adventurous, but seeing a woman posed like that would me make pray that she's going to keep that thumb to herself (although for BookishLookish I might make an exception).
Reply

Edited by The Lone Scout at 09/22/09 8:47 PM The Lone Scout was starred The Lone Scout was unstarred

The Lone Scout
09/22/09

@The Lone Scout: ...and as I sit here laughing, I'm thinking that faced with a woman in that outfit I'd rather take my chances with the Hipster Grifter.
Reply

Edited by The Lone Scout at 09/22/09 8:49 PM The Lone Scout was starred The Lone Scout was unstarred

anteup
09/22/09

In reply to Can A Woman Be A Pickup Artist?
MacRae drove a woman away by saying she had "man hands"

That bit made me laugh. A lot. I'm imagining this over exaggerated insulted face on some nondescript woman as she picks up her Cuba Libre and storms off
Reply

Le Kangourou de Kataroo promoted this comment anteup was starred anteup was unstarred

Gavagirl
09/22/09

In reply to Can A Woman Be A Pickup Artist?
Just get to the point. And get a good wingman, the kind you can throw a chorus to (caution, the lyrics are NSFW!!).
Reply

meritxell promoted this comment Edited by Gavagirl at 09/22/09 4:50 PM Gavagirl was starred Gavagirl was unstarred

FattyCatty
09/22/09

In reply to Can A Woman Be A Pickup Artist?
Isn't "negging" just, like, "gently teasing someone with whom you have established a rapport"? In my single days, when talking to guys I would just kid them a little. It wasn't strategy - just part of the conversation, and a good way to see if they had a sense of humor about themselves. Besides, if you're going to be friends with me, you're gonna have to take some good-natured ribbing now and then.
Reply

FattyCatty was starred FattyCatty was unstarred

whereismymind
09/22/09

@FattyCatty: It's less teasing and more supposed to be offhandedly insulting them. For example asking a girl if her hair color is natural, so she is forced to admit that it's fake. The whole point is you are supposed to act like you don't know you are insulting her
Reply

Snowbunny promoted this comment whereismymind was starred whereismymind was unstarred

Snowbunny
09/22/09

@whereismymind: "Bed?" What is "bed?"
Reply

Edited by Snowbunny at 09/22/09 4:33 PM Snowbunny was starred Snowbunny was unstarred

jenny_dreadful
09/22/09

In reply to Can A Woman Be A Pickup Artist?
Has anyone here actually read Mystery's book? It's so much worse than you imagine. There's a part where he recommends his readers have a bed, so that they have a place to have sex. If you're starting out under the presumption that your readers don't understand why they need a bed, then goddamn. Goddamn!
Reply

Her Grace promoted this comment jenny_dreadful was starred jenny_dreadful was unstarred

Flackette Goes Retro
09/22/09

In reply to Can A Woman Be A Pickup Artist?
You know who negged each other? Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy.
Reply

BeckySharper
09/22/09

@Flackette Goes Retro: "She is tolerable, I suppose."
Reply

BeckySharper was starred BeckySharper was unstarred

Highsmith
09/22/09

In reply to Can A Woman Be A Pickup Artist?
Margaret Cho's "STICK IT IN" line has never failed me.
Reply

argle-bargle? or fou-ferraw? promoted this comment Highsmith was starred Highsmith was unstarred

cait98
09/22/09

In reply to Can A Woman Be A Pickup Artist?
As much as I loathe the idea of PUAs, I have to say I really think their techniques would work on me.

I read "The Game" and I think "negging" is often misconstrued on here. It's not straight up insults - it's more like giving a backhanded compliment. And, if a guy came up to me and said something like, "It's so cute how your nose moves when you speak." I would definitely respond with a "What? It does?" and think "Wait, cute in a good way?" end up engaging him in a conversation to find out more. The guy who comes up just wanting to buy me a drink, not so much. A neg seems perceptive and exhibits self-confidence (he's not one of a million guys who need to tell the pretty girl that she's pretty, he's comfortable teasing you) And negs are supposed to be gentle teasing, if you are ACTUALLY insulting someone you are doing it wrong.

I hate the idea that this is a learned method, but I believe more of us would fall for it than we would like to think.
Reply

Cunning_Linguist promoted this comment cait98 was starred cait98 was unstarred

DramaClub
09/22/09

In reply to Can A Woman Be A Pickup Artist?
The easiest way for a woman to get laid is to make an obvious glance at his package and then smile when you look back at his face.
Reply

Cunning_Linguist promoted this comment DramaClub was starred DramaClub was unstarred

Dirk Anger
09/22/09

@DramaClub: Yeah, we're pathetic that way.

You may scare the guy off if he's a bit shy, though
Reply

Dirk Anger was starred Dirk Anger was unstarred

clamme
09/22/09

In reply to Can A Woman Be A Pickup Artist?
I recently read "the gift of fear' and was stunned by how a typical stalker, would-be rapist, etc use the very same techniques that Mystery does. "negging' is what the guy uses in the very first story to get in the victim's apartment.
Reply

whynotshesaid promoted this comment Edited by clamme at 09/22/09 2:43 PM clamme was starred clamme was unstarred

whynotshesaid
09/22/09

@clamme: OMG good point! He says the would-be attacker will make some comment meant to undermine your confidence in yourself, like if you try to blow him off or something, and that our (women's) need to be seen as nice is so strong that we'll end up going along with it.

Wow, that is so fucking creepy.
Reply

whynotshesaid was starred whynotshesaid was unstarred

youbehim
09/22/09

In reply to Can A Woman Be A Pickup Artist?
A lot of people need stupid rules or tricks to talk to people in person, not everyone is as charming as the people who are saying, "Idk, just be yourself! Have a normal conversation!"
It's hard to make small talk for a lot of people and maybe I am just trying to see the good in the man who would use The Game, but perhaps they are using it as a starting point, not just as a way to get a woman into bed.

Lord knows I am an awkward mess when I first meet people and wish we could skip all that and go straight to friends because I am actually pretty cool when not riddled with anxiety.
Reply

formergr promoted this comment youbehim was starred youbehim was unstarred

Benevolent_Dictatrix (patently absurd)
09/22/09

@youbehim: PUAs are not shilling techniques to help shy people start conversations and get to know a woman. They are teaching men to manipulate women. And in doing so they make a lot of insulting assumptions about women - including that all woment are the same. We aren't talking about How to Win Friends and Influence People here.
Reply

youbehim
09/22/09

@Benevolent_Dictatrix (patently absurd): alright.
Reply

youbehim was starred youbehim was unstarred

whynotshesaid
09/22/09

@Benevolent_Dictatrix (patently absurd): Yes, exactly. It's one thing to be shy and need a bit of help, but these guys are all about trying to make women do what they want them to do. They are not the same at all.
Reply

whynotshesaid was starred whynotshesaid was unstarred

whynotshesaid
09/22/09

In reply to Can A Woman Be A Pickup Artist?
I lack the social finesse for picking dudes up. I always found it a lot easier to be straight-forward. It hasn't always worked, but usually it did.
Reply

whynotshesaid was starred whynotshesaid was unstarred

Tchotchke
09/22/09

In reply to Can A Woman Be A Pickup Artist?
I am always amazed by the number of men who say incredibly obnoxious things to me and my friends when we go out. In all honesty, I don't think I have ever had a guy come up to me when we were out and say "Hi" or something nice. Instead, I seem to encounter tons of offensive jerks. I guess it makes me wonder if there is something about me specifically that encourages attention from men who think I will go for that approach, or if it's just an indication of how younger men are taught to approach women these days. I truly have no idea.
Reply

Rooo sez BISH PLZ promoted this comment Tchotchke was starred Tchotchke was unstarred

Rooo sez BISH PLZ
09/22/09

@Tchotchke: I'm sure it's a combination of both. I would imagine it's the doods who have no idea how to approach women that are the "target demo" for this passel of heinous ideas in class form in the first place.
Reply

Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred

bowleserised
09/22/09

In reply to Can A Woman Be A Pickup Artist?
This is a great idea for a feature, but I wish she'd done it a little more subltely, rather than going for laughs. I'd be really interested to know what happened then.
Reply

bowleserised was starred bowleserised was unstarred

Freddie DeBoer
09/22/09

In reply to Can A Woman Be A Pickup Artist?
Even if it meant never getting laid again, there is no force on earth that could compel me to spend my social time dressing like an asshole, treating people like shit and performing magic tricks in a bar. And I can't think of something more irrelevant than the notion that this stuff "works" for a lot of people.
Reply

morninggloria promoted this comment Freddie DeBoer was starred Freddie DeBoer was unstarred

Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

SUBSCRIBE TO Jezebel

Login

Reset Password

Register

Submit Your Comment