Jezebel: my super sweet 16

Little Pimpin'

Tracie — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 15:30:00 EDT

Meet Jordan Smith: "Britain's most spoiled teenager." Along with thousands of pounds worth of "designer" clothes, he owns several vehicles, despite not being old enough to drive. (Click image for more pictures.) [Daily Mail]

His mother Suzanne claims that the cars aren't "a waste of money because it gave him the freedom to get out of the house—even if it was just to sit in it on the driveway with his friends." She wants him to be famous (for doing what, exactly, is unclear, particularly because he's left school and is attending a carpentry course) saying, "Jordan has star potential and needs to be noticed by the right people." So she signed him up for the UK version of My Super Sweet 16. Her plan for his 17th birthday is to top the lavish party that aired on MTV.

Of her son, Suzanne says, "Fashion is very important to him and he has excellent taste."

Exiled: Eazy-E's Daughter Is The Most Spoiled, Rudest, Laziest Teen Of All

Tracie — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 12:00:00 EST

This weekend, Exiled returned with new, extra long episodes featuring its most extreme "cases". Erin Wright is Eazy-E's daughter, and her episode of My Super Sweet 16 was one of the most memorable because she was one of the best examples of what excess can do to a child's personality. She was a pretty much a monster, and nothing has changed her — not even a trip to Mongolia, where she had to live with a hard-working farming family. She constantly complained, refused to help out and loudly criticized the way her hosts live, repeatedly describing everything about the Mongolian way of life as "nasty." Of course, the nastiest thing was her attitude. Clip above.

Exiled: A "Divo's" Good Time Turns Around

Tracie — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 19:00:00 EDT

Last night's episode of Exiled featured the first "spoiled teen" boy to be shipped off in order to learn a lesson. If you don't remember, Bjorn is the kid who, during his episode of My Super Sweet 16, referred to himself as a "divo" (that's his male version of "diva"). He asked for a diamond bracelet for his birthday, threw a tantrum, and then for some reason (Boones, maybe?), ralphed at his party. For this episode, he was sent to Morocco, to pick up camel dung with his hands, and search for fossils in caves. Bjorn's reaction to his host family's home is kind of priceless (he steps out of his car holding a Chanel handbag). What he didn't know at the time was that this was probably the most luxurious accommodation a host family on this show has provided thus far, as the house had window panes and running water.

American Brat Is Bratty To Host Family On MTV's Exiled

Tracie — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 16:00:00 EDT

MTV's Exiled takes the spoiled brats whose birthday parties (and tantrums) were featured on My Super Sweet 16, and ships them off to wholly different parts of the world where they have to live among people who actually work for a living. On last night's premiere episode, prissy Amanda, now 18, was sent to Kenya, where she lived in a hut among the Masai four miles from the nearest water source. She bitched about it the entire time. In the clip above, Amanda watches as a cow is slaughtered in her honor (warning: it's graphic), and pretty much just goes into a soliloquy of complaint and disgust. Later, she shares some of her possessions from home — body spray, candy, Beyoncé — with her 18-year-old host Josephine. When Amanda shows her a fashion magazine, Josephine looks at (an airbrushed) photo of a model and asks in all earnestness if the woman depicted is a real person. Clip above.

British Kids Manage To Make "Prom" An Even More Hateful Institution

Moe — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 12:00:00 EDT

Just one of the valuable export sectors keeping the American economy afloat, folks, but don't underestimate prom. Prom has come to Britain, and oh my god I hope it stays here. Two intrepid Wall Street Journal reporters today descend upon the prom of Michael Clarke, third from left, whose parents "at first balked when their 16-year-old son begged them to rent him a bright yellow Lamborghini plus driver for prom night." Mercifully, reason prevailed. "They gave in after their son promised to study harder in return." And the Clarkes, like many other British parents, ended up shelling out more than a grand to secure this promise. Inexplicably, school teachers are resisting this method of motivating their pupils, filling education websites with hateration along the lines of: "Ghastly import. Conspicuous consumption and pointless excess." But with the American economy going to shit (and the My Super Sweet 16 hosts of yore going to jail?) we are pleased to usher in this trend with some evidence that it will benefit our economy — and a fun video of dressed-up British high schoolers acting as obnoxious as American ones — after the jump.

Ruth Eckhardt, owner of Ruth, a dress shop in London, imports prom dresses from the U.S. because she can't find British makers. After customs duties, the dresses are marked up to about $275, from about $100 in the U.S. Ms. Eckhardt says she travels to U.S. trade shows four times a year to pick out the frocks.

And that's not all! It could even breathe life into the ailing American auto industry!

Mr. Kendall and 15 friends arrived at their prom in a hotel in Surrey in a stretch Hummer, rented for about $1,470. Also pulling up: a vintage Rolls-Royce, five other stretch Hummers, six stretch limos, a firetruck emitting soap bubbles and fake smoke, and a vintage Triumph with a gloved chauffeur in a military uniform.

Um, on second thought, I think they're actually going to beat us at our own game here. Like the Beatles, only if they had started out covering Akon songs.

Alien Invasion: High School Prom Lands In England, Causes A Bother [WSJ]
Hummer Up For Sale [Jalopnik]

Legendary Super Sweet 16 Ingrate Revisited

Tracie — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 16:00:00 EDT

Today MTV reran a classic episode of My Super Sweet 16. It featured Audrey, who become somewhat iconic of the spoiled brattery of her generation after she famously freaked the fuck out on her mom for giving her a $67,000 Lexus (to "practice" driving with) on the day before her Quinceañera bash. I always feel a little bit bad for viral video subjects like Audrey: after all, maybe her hormones were going nuts, or maybe she was just having a bad day, or maybe there was a backstory that MTV managed to edit out. However, watching the full episode today made me realize that Audrey is indeed a major asshole. She was terrible to her mother and to her friends. She even went out of her way to make some of her friends feel like shit while trying on dresses that she picked out for them to wear, telling some of them that they needed to "lose some pounds." I really hope this kid is one of the subjects for the new MTV series Exiled.

MTV Deports Sweet 16 Brats For New Show Exiled

Tracie — Wed, 14 May 2008 14:30:00 EDT

MTV has a new reality series in the works that might just rival our love for The Paper. Remember all those over-privileged spoiled brats from My Super Sweet 16? Well, MTV has enlisted kids from past episodes to star in Exiled. The hook? In each episode, each one of the kids is sent to a different third world country to live with a family and "learn" the meaning of hard work and the meaninglessness of material possessions . The comments of the foreign families are priceless. Clip above.

Janet Jackson Spoofs My Super Sweet 16

Slut Machine — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 17:30:00 EST

In this MTV promo spot, Janet Jackson re-enacts that now infamous episode of My Super Sweet 16 in which the biggest spoiled brat on the face of the earth throws a tantrum because her mother gave her a Lexus a few days before her party, instead of in the middle of the party. We like to think this is Janet's way of laughing in the face of critics who say that her new album is age inappropriate, because only teens should dance around and sing about sex. The Janet clip is above, and after the jump, the source material.

How Women's Television Is Just Like Sex And The City

Jessica — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 14:00:00 EST

Slate's TV columnist Troy Patterson parses the programming on the three women's television networks today, and, reading Patterson's descriptions of each lady network, I had to wonder: could the networks be categorized using the ultimate post-modern archetypes, Sex and the City characters? It is the Most Important Show of Our Time, after all. The answer I came up with?:Of course they can.

With its rude, slutty and unapologetic programming, Oxygen is clearly Samantha. Strippers fellating beer bottles, plastic surgery advocating Janice Dickinson and her modeling agency, and re-runs of Absolutely Fabulous just scream Samantha with their combination of glitter, foul mouths and trash. (Remember when Carrie caught Samantha blowing the UPS guy? Total Oxygen material.)

Wedding-obsessed WE: Women's Entertainment is Charlotte. WE has four shows devoted to the wedding-industrial complex: Bridezillas, Platinum Weddings, My Big, Fat Fabulous Wedding, and Rich Bride, Poor Bride. [Jesus. -Ed.] WE also reflects Charlotte's overwhelming sense of entitlement (of course she deserved a multimillion dollar Park Avenue apartment as compensation for a failed marriage!). Of WE's newest offering, Party Mama$, Patterson opines, the level of entitlement has "previously [been] seen only on MTV's My Super Sweet 16".

Finally, Lifetime, the old guard of women's television channels, is Carrie. Lifetime has a serious side, like Carrie, with its made-for-TV movies about "terminal diseases and/or children in peril." But, as Patterson says, Lifetime is "quaint and mildly daffy," with its Will & Grace reruns and embrace of psychics. Just like Carrie, who enjoys a "mildly daffy" pun, loves hanging out with her main gay Stanford, and is always wearing those mystical head wraps!

But whither Miranda? Where's the kind of judgmental, career woman-oriented programming? I guess Star Jones does have that show on Court TV, and Miranda does say the phrase "I'm a lawyer," at least once per episode, but it's not really a perfect match. Television executives take note! A major hole in lady viewing must be filled post-haste!

Who's the Fairest of Them All?: A comparison of all of the women's television network [Slate]

Earlier: Bad Girls Club: Stripper Mom and Porn Star Have Threesome With Dude

'My Super Sweet Sixteen': Look What My Daddy Did With All That Money He Stole From Those Dumb Investors Edition

Moe — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 19:30:01 EDT

You know what? I would not begrudge rich people if they weren't so fucking stupid. This guy collected a few million dollars from people who are probably too rich to feel particularly sorry for, and used it to get his despicable little cunt of a daughter's birthday on My Super Sweet 16, something the SEC is not happy about. I have never actually watched this show; are they all so hateful? Anyway, in this clip the daughter, Ariel, explains what so-called "oil" money can buy you: Gucci, Versace, Coach, a BMW, a helicopter to transport you to the birthday held on your farm because that makes so much sense, the sycophancy of all your classmates while cameras are present, a tailor for your fucking dog, and adamantly not looks. Watch the whole almost-bafflingly wrong thing here. Apparently some of Ariel's daddy's investors might be able to go after MTV for "aiding and abetting" his fraud, but we doubt that will happen because there is no God.

Daddy's Little Fraud [Portfolio]