Carson Daly, massive tool, has joined The Today Show, ringing in a self-proclaimed "new era" of the program. He will enroll alongside the other mutants in the X-Academy: Matt Lauer, Savannah Guthrie, Al Roker, Natalie Morales, Hoda Kotb, Willie Geist and Kathie Lee Gifford. While we plebs associate Daly with…

Buenos días! Lindsay Lohan got transferred from the Betty Ford clinic to a different rehab center in Malibu for being "disruptive" and "making life hell for those around her," because she learned nothing from Georgia Rule's tough but loving fictional matriarch (Wallace Shawn).

Superfoxes Josh Brolin and Diane Lane are divorcing after eight years of marriage, according to their reps: "It was a mutual decision. It was amicable. It's not ugly, it's just over." (Guh.) It's the second marriage for both of them. Although this means our fantasy of James Brolin, Barbra Streisand, Josh and Diane…

Today in reports of Mad Men stars' IRL fucking, Vincent Kartheiser is reportedly dating Alexis Bledel after she guest starred as one of Pete Campbell's mistresses, if a a kissy flight from JFK to LAX is to be believed. Elisabeth Moss is dating cinematographer Adam Arkapaw, officially moving on after her messy divorce…

God, you guys, you know what sucks? How men are responsible for all human achievement (except, uh, actually making other humans) and women just shit all over them. But now, thankfully, the Men's Rights movement has found a musical prophet fit to deliver the message that men are fed up with the rampant abuse from the…