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New York, 5:20 PM
Sat Nov 28
24 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #muggers more →

    Ball-Grabbers & "Pickpocket Terrorists:" Tough Old Broads Of 2008

    Conde Nasty

    Hell's Belles
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of CrankyOldBroad CrankyOldBroad
    01/01/09

    In reply to Ball-Grabbers & "Pickpocket Terrorists:" Tough Old Broads Of 2008
    Dumbass intruder, his first mistake was showing up naked and making himself an easy target. He's lucky she didn't use the ol twist-and-pull technique.

    And to all my Jezzies with rocking crusty old broads for Granmas, you are truly blessed. I lost mine at 93 last year and I miss her still.
     Reply
    CrankyOldBroad was starred CrankyOldBroad was unstarred
    Image of Gobiasomecoffee Gobiasomecoffee
    12/31/08

    In reply to Ball-Grabbers & "Pickpocket Terrorists:" Tough Old Broads Of 2008
    Anyone remember the Python sketch about motorcycle grannies?
     Reply
    Gobiasomecoffee was starred Gobiasomecoffee was unstarred
    Image of Tart of Darkness Tart of Darkness
    01/01/09

    @Gobiasomecoffee: YES!!! You mean where they walk in gangs and push punks off of the sidewalk? Hilarious!
     Reply
    Tart of Darkness was starred Tart of Darkness was unstarred
    Image of Jenloveshercurves Jenloveshercurves
    12/31/08

    In reply to Ball-Grabbers & "Pickpocket Terrorists:" Tough Old Broads Of 2008
    Maw-Maw loveshercurves once came upon some thieves stealing from my aunts house she had just picked up my two year old cousin from day care. Well, Maw-Maw had a hand gun that she kept in her purse after my Paw-Paw died. She ducked for cover behind her car and shot at them. They immediately drove off at the sight of a crazy old lady shooting at them. I asked her why she did this and she said, "Ahh honey, I wasn't shootin' to kill, that was just a warning shot. If they hadn't left then and there I woulda started aimin'." Ahh crazy southern grandmothers.
     Reply
    Jenloveshercurves was starred Jenloveshercurves was unstarred
    Image of KelseyDenby KelseyDenby
    12/31/08

    In reply to Ball-Grabbers & "Pickpocket Terrorists:" Tough Old Broads Of 2008
    At 54 this lady should probably not really be classified as an "old broad" but this story seems applicable. "I'm going to blow your balls off!" is a pretty nice comeback to a mugger/carjacker if you can manage it.

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28438185/
     Reply
    KelseyDenby was starred KelseyDenby was unstarred
    Image of Tart of Darkness Tart of Darkness
    01/01/09

    @KelseyDenby: Actually, if 54, 55 gets you tough old broad status and an heroic reception at the Police Station rather than a charge of assault and battery, I'm in!!!
     Reply
    Tart of Darkness was starred Tart of Darkness was unstarred
    Image of BadDecisionDinosaur BadDecisionDinosaur
    12/31/08

    In reply to Ball-Grabbers & "Pickpocket Terrorists:" Tough Old Broads Of 2008
    anyone who is from pdx will be amused-the oregon story the attacker was from gresham. ahhhh gresham.
     Reply
    BadDecisionDinosaur was starred BadDecisionDinosaur was unstarred
    Image of la.donna.pietra la.donna.pietra
    12/31/08

    @BadDecisionDinosaur: My grandparents used to live in Gresham. I like to preserve my fond memories of their very nice neighborhood, which I'm sure has gone way downhill.
     Reply
    la.donna.pietra was starred la.donna.pietra was unstarred
    Image of JinxyMcDeath JinxyMcDeath
    12/31/08

    In reply to Ball-Grabbers & "Pickpocket Terrorists:" Tough Old Broads Of 2008
    What about me? Fine, I'm in my 20's but I fought my mugger (which caused my tights to be ripped and my boots to be severely and permanently damaged due to sidewalk scraping) and then even ran after to him. But he had a head start because I was on the ground (since he pushed me onto it) and since I was wearing a dress and knee-high boots...
     Reply
    JinxyMcDeath was starred JinxyMcDeath was unstarred
    Image of WaltzingMatilda WaltzingMatilda
    12/31/08

    @JinxyMcDeath: That is pretty bad ass.
     Reply
    WaltzingMatilda was starred WaltzingMatilda was unstarred
    Image of Gretchen is a new kitten mom! Gretchen is a new kitten mom!
    12/31/08

    @JinxyMcDeath: You're tougher than I am. My mugger tried to lure me in to read illegible handwriting that were supposedly directions to a train that didn't exist. He had his right hand hidden and was having a tough time with the papers since he was obviously right-handed. I could smell cigarette smoke so I figured he was going to pull the 'smash the ciggy into their face' trick so he could grab my bag & suitcase.


    I kicked him in the mid-thigh with a 4" stacked heel and socked him under the chin with the heel of my hand. I felt a crunch so I either knocked out a couple of teeth or fractured his jaw. I was pretty crabby.

     Reply
    Gretchen is a new kitten mom! was starred Gretchen is a new kitten mom! was unstarred
    Image of CollegeCamel CollegeCamel
    12/31/08

    @JinxyMcDeath: badass! that reminds me of a story my friend told me about his sister who is currently doing the Peace Corps in Niger...apparently she was mugged in a marketplace, but her attacker didn't know that the 5'4" girl he was attacking was a black belt in karate, so she kicked his ass.


    Unfortunately, his friend then came along with a knife so she had to surrender her bag, but at least she got some victory in there.

     Reply
    CollegeCamel was starred CollegeCamel was unstarred
    Image of hydrogen_jukebox hydrogen_jukebox
    12/31/08

    In reply to Ball-Grabbers & "Pickpocket Terrorists:" Tough Old Broads Of 2008
    This is my "My Grandma is Awesome" story:


    The other night, my sister was trying on her big white Sweet 16 party dress, joking that she looked like she was getting married. I said, "I'm never getting married!" (mostly because my mom gets mad when I say that.)


    "But what about my grandkids?" Mom asked.


    Grandma pipes up, "She can have kids without getting married - don't you know how that works? It's what she wants to do." As I burst into laughter, she continued with a diatribe on how it doesn't make sense that gays can't get married and women have to - only further proving to me that she's the most amazing woman I know.

     Reply
    hydrogen_jukebox was starred hydrogen_jukebox was unstarred
    Image of Kivrin Kivrin
    12/31/08

    @hydrogen_jukebox: Your grandma rocks.
     Reply
    Kivrin was starred Kivrin was unstarred
    Image of AuntieEm (robots from the year 2000 > zombies) AuntieEm (robots from the year 2000 > zombies)
    12/31/08

    @hydrogen_jukebox: that rocks! one of my grandmas wouldn't speak to me for a year when she found out I was moving in with my boyfriend at 18. Like our house would be a den of sin or something.
     Reply
    AuntieEm (robots from the year 2000 > zombies) was starred AuntieEm (robots from the year 2000 > zombies) was unstarred
    Image of WaltzingMatilda WaltzingMatilda
    12/31/08

    In reply to Ball-Grabbers & "Pickpocket Terrorists:" Tough Old Broads Of 2008
    This is why I am planning on keeping a grouchy old lady in my bedroom closet instead of a gun. Potentially safer and much more hilarious.


    Plus - she'll probably give me nickles when I am being good. Old ladies FTW!

     Reply
    WaltzingMatilda was starred WaltzingMatilda was unstarred
    Image of CollegeCamel CollegeCamel
    12/31/08

    In reply to Ball-Grabbers & "Pickpocket Terrorists:" Tough Old Broads Of 2008
    My friend was named after a friend of her mother's who, as a 60-something old woman, moved from England to Egypt, bought an Arabian mare, shacked up with the 25-year old Bedouin boy who delivered it, and started breeding Arabians. Something about that is just so ideal to me...
     Reply
    CollegeCamel was starred CollegeCamel was unstarred
    Image of AuntieEm (robots from the year 2000 > zombies) AuntieEm (robots from the year 2000 > zombies)
    12/31/08

    @CollegeCamel: OMG that should be a movie
     Reply
    AuntieEm (robots from the year 2000 > zombies) was starred AuntieEm (robots from the year 2000 > zombies) was unstarred
    Image of twinkette twinkette
    12/31/08

    In reply to Ball-Grabbers & "Pickpocket Terrorists:" Tough Old Broads Of 2008
    I love feisty old ladies. Makes me miss my grandmother. She threatened a nun. My grandfather would tell his kids "If anybody ever does anything to you kids, come right home and tell me. Your mother will go after them."


    I guess she was always feisty, not just when she was old. Gran, the 5' Irish Wonder, who's mantra was "The bigger they are, the harder they fall."

     Reply
    twinkette was starred twinkette was unstarred
    Image of DangerMouse DangerMouse
    12/31/08

    @twinkette: My nana is an Irish-NYer about that size and smacked an ATM mugger with her purse until she got her money back, dammit.
     Reply
    DangerMouse was starred DangerMouse was unstarred
    Image of Hazel Hazel
    12/31/08

    In reply to Ball-Grabbers & "Pickpocket Terrorists:" Tough Old Broads Of 2008
    This makes me feel better after the "not rape" post from yesterday. we all need to remember to channel awesome elderly in bad situations.
     Reply
    Hazel was starred Hazel was unstarred
    Image of pantsless economist...access RESTORED pantsless economist...access RESTORED
    12/31/08

    In reply to Ball-Grabbers & "Pickpocket Terrorists:" Tough Old Broads Of 2008
    also I want to say: i have been loving the Maria posts over the last couple days! I'm sad she's going away, and if she gets another job blogging or doing internet stuff i will be reading.
     Reply
    pantsless economist...access RESTORED was starred pantsless economist...access RESTORED was unstarred
    Image of Gretchen is a new kitten mom! Gretchen is a new kitten mom!
    12/31/08

    In reply to Ball-Grabbers & "Pickpocket Terrorists:" Tough Old Broads Of 2008
    I had a guy attempt to mug me on my way to my hotel when in the city for a conference two weeks ago. I was tired, hungry and crabby. He was really wasted on something. I kinda beat him up but felt guilty because it wasn't really a fair fight. Did I mention I was crabby? I don't think I hurt him too badly but I really didn't stick around to check.


    I'm 47 and feel like I've had my initiation into the Tough Old Broad's Club.

     Reply
    Gretchen is a new kitten mom! was starred Gretchen is a new kitten mom! was unstarred
    Image of Mama Penguino Mama Penguino
    12/31/08

    @Gretchen: Jesus, you sound tough as nails! Just think how you'll be tossing criminals around in another twenty years!
     Reply
    Mama Penguino was starred Mama Penguino was unstarred
    Image of AuntieEm (robots from the year 2000 > zombies) AuntieEm (robots from the year 2000 > zombies)
    12/31/08

    @Gretchen: YAY YOU!! also is that a greyhound in your picture? if so YAY YOU! again!
     Reply
    AuntieEm (robots from the year 2000 > zombies) was starred AuntieEm (robots from the year 2000 > zombies) was unstarred
    Image of pantsless economist...access RESTORED pantsless economist...access RESTORED
    12/31/08

    In reply to Ball-Grabbers & "Pickpocket Terrorists:" Tough Old Broads Of 2008
    My favorite tough old broad is Helen Thomas :)
     Reply
    pantsless economist...access RESTORED was starred pantsless economist...access RESTORED was unstarred
    Image of Samanthrax Samanthrax
    12/31/08

    In reply to Ball-Grabbers & "Pickpocket Terrorists:" Tough Old Broads Of 2008
    Oh, let's not forget to mention this lady:


    [news.cincinnati.com]

     Reply
    Samanthrax was starred Samanthrax was unstarred
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