• Laura Ingraham is auctioning Sarah Palin's fleece from her Going Rogue cover. Let's take up a collection and shoot a real Going Vogue. [Facebook]
• Givenchy was the winning bidder for Audrey Hepburn's How To Steal A Million LBD. [WWD]

• Sir Elton John is selling — completely fabulous, no doubt — designer clothes from his wardrobe for the benefit of his AIDS foundation. Prices start at £10. [Vogue UK]
• Michelle Obama wore Calvin Klein collection in Oslo. [WWD]
• Antonio Berardi is too cool to collaborate with Lady Gaga. "I was approached to design a clothing range with Lady Gaga but I knocked it back because I wasn't interested in someone whose music is meaningless," says the Italian-born designer. This, from a man who designed heel-less heels? [SN]
• "Women have many lives in a day, and I try to do the best I can to accommodate that. If I have a meeting at my son's school, I don't want to look like a total fashion freak. I think, ‘Could I wear this to Trader Joe's?'" Ever sensible, that Maria Cornejo. [WWD]
• Isaac Mizrahi is returning as the Narrator in the Guggenheim's holiday production of Peter and the Wolf. [NYP]
• Could Taylor Lautner be the latest face of Armani? [InTouch]
• Roberto Cavalli, when not lending his name to opulent Dubai nightclubs with black crystal floors, apparently likes to jet off to Africa and take pictures. Now he wants nothing more than to exhibit them, he told Martha Stewart, and the Daily, yesterday. "I love shooting primitive and simple things," explained Cavalli. You know. Primitive. Like Africa. [Vogue UK]
• P. Diddy visited the New York Stock Exchange for a party celebrating AOL's re-listing as a separate company from TimeWarner, and was apparently inundated with requests for fashion advice from finance chaps. [NYDN]
• A The Sartorialist clothing line and a The Sartorialist television show are just two of the many projects Scott Schuman is discussing presently. [Pedestrian]
• Versace's spring shoes are insane. Normally the shoes that actually enter production are watered-down versions of the sky-high runway clodhoppers; these look like they're one and the same. [TheLifeFiles]
• Jil Sander's second +J collection for Uniqlo will hit stores January 14. In the meantime, here are a few pictures. [Nitrolicious]
• Alexa Chung's MTV show, It's On With Alexa Chung, will end after its season finale on December 17. The network plans to "revamp" the show's format for next January; MTV has already shortened it from one hour to 30 minutes, and experimented with the timeslot. Chung's contract with the company runs through early next year. [Variety]
• At worst, Chung can console herself with the knowledge that she has inspired a Mulberry bag of her very own. The Alexa is a twist on the company's popular Bayswater, and starts at £695. [Elle UK]
• Yesterday, we linked to a Daily Mail story that stated Mulberry's sales had jumped 16% in the six months to September 30. Well, we ought to have known better than to trust that rag for financial news: although profits at the company rose 16%, sales rose a whopping 39%. [Vogue UK]
• Mango opened its first store in Iraq. [FWD]
• "I get my best ideas when I'm in the bath in the morning or when I'm driving," says accessories designer Lulu Guinness. [WWD]
• Lily Cole, on modeling versus acting: "I look at myself differently. I think in magazines I don't have very much control. If a picture of me is great, then great. If it's not so good, it's not my fault. I have less control in that situation. That is one of the things that I like about acting: I do have a lot more control over what I'm doing and more responsibility." [Interview]
• As part of her Vogue/CFDA Fashion Fund award, Sophie Théallet will be mentored by none other than Oscar de la Renta. [WWD]

In the clip above, Sammi tells The Situation that she's "experienced him already," and Snooki learns that if you eat a pickle while wearing a hat that says "Pornstar in Training," people will make fun of you. (Actually, forget the pickles: people have the right to make fun of the hat alone.)

Then Angelina, the judgmental "pretty" one, leaves the house because she's sick of working like three hours a week or whatever, and though the show plays a montage of her "best" moments, nobody misses her. Then things take a turn for the barf in the hot tub, where Snooki assaults everyone with her mouth.

The Daily News interviewed the father of Brad Ferro, the 23-year-old Queens teacher who punched Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi in the face at a bar on the New Jersey shore last summer.

The younger Ferro had already been warned to stop drinking, and had swiped Snooki's drink. A local detective is quoted saying, "There was a small verbal confrontation between the two...And with that, he just punched her in the face." But there's a strong "like father, like son," whiff to Ferro's dad's quotes, which are all about blaming everyone but his son.

"A woman who works for them [MTV] instigated my son into doing something very stupid."

"When you get a bunch of people in a situation with alcohol and instigate, someone's going to do something stupid, and that's obviously what MTV wants."

"It's horrible, absolutely, and he feels the same way. He doesn't understand how that happened. She was being very aggressive. That's who she is, apparently."

Brad Ferro was charged with assault, fined $500, and ordered to take anger management classes. His students told the News he had apologized to them this week and used the incident as a lesson on why not to drink too much. He's been suspended from the classroom.

Nicole (Snooki) Polizzi, MTV 'Jersey Shore' Cast Member, Punched By Queens Teacher Brad Ferro: Cops [NYDN]

Earlier: MTV To Air Anti-Violence PSA After Next Week's Jersey Shore
There's Nothing Funnier Than A Woman Getting Punched In The Face
Sex And Violence: Why Is Snooki More Precious Than I Am?

MTV appears to be doing some damage control around the clip, which was shown in a trailer after the show's debut last week and has already circulated on the Internet in the form of animated gif files and frame-by-frame breakdowns. The Daily News quotes "a source at the network" saying the public service announcement, which includes a number for the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline, was planned "long before" Italian American organizations protested the show—or, presumably, before anyone had a chance to react to this particular scene.

The network also put Snooki (whose real name is Nicole Polizzi) on the phone:

Polizzi, who suffered bruises and swelling as a result of the punch, said the clip is hard for her to watch, but that she's glad MTV is including it in the series.

"It should be out there. Everyone should know that it can happen," Polizzi told The News. "But also, a positive came out of it. It brought [the cast] closer together."

Polizzi says the man who hit her was drunk and had been bothering her and her friends at the bar. When she spoke up to ask him to leave, he hit her.

The case is clearly not a classic example of "domestic violence," given that the perpetrator was a man in a bar Polizzi had never met. The PSA addresses the issue by modifying the usual text: "If you or someone you know is being abused by a boyfriend, family member or total stranger..." But it was the reaction of certain, vocal viewers of the clip to the sight of a woman being hit that evoked a larger social context of violence against women. The Daily News refers to viewers being "aghast"; unfortunately, not counting our post yesterday, it was disturbingly easy to find examples of viewers who found it hilarious.

Rough Wave Hits The Shore: MTV Sounds Alert After Show Violence [NYDN]

Earlier: Jersey Shore: There's Nothing Funnier Than A Woman Getting Punched In The Face

To wit: "I say breasts because I love women and I don't call them cans or big fat titties because I love my mother and I respect women."

Bobby Bottleservice: Jersey Shore Audition Tape [Funny or Die]

Have you ever met a self-described "guido" or "guidette"? I haven't, and I've lived within their purported stomping grounds for a decade. In fact, I bet that 99% of Americans have never met one, which is probably the bet MTV execs were making when they greenlighted this show, because the whole point of it seems to be to allow members of a tiny splintered-off sub-group, a small social network, really, to present themselves before the the largest possible audience that will feel comfortable looking down on them. Remember in Independence Day, when the aliens came and all of the nations and religions and creeds forgot their differences and came together to fight them? The same concept is at work here (though it can be argued that all of reality TV is like that on some level.) It's been said before: we watch reality TV so we can celebrate and take comfort in the fact that we're different, we're not like these people. MTV has simply raised the ante by choosing to present eight horrible people who define themselves by the same ethnicity. And yes, that is bad, but to get too worked up about it (as Italian Americans, as people from New Jersey, as reasonable human beings with the ability to reason and a sense of fairness), while understandable, is to play right into MTV's hands.

Because as repulsive and wrong as this show is, isn't calling it racist (or ethnicist) kind of...racist (or ethnicist)? Yes, it's annoying that the people on this show choose to define themselves and their behavior as that of a particular background, but if you accept that these people represent Italian Americans you have to accept that the women who clawed for Bret Michaels' attention on Rock of Love represented American women. It's an obvious lie. It's that wrong, and that laughable, and while I have no doubt a few people out there in America are stupid enough to think less of Italian Americans based on this show, I firmly believe that when those few people turn fourteen and meet their first actual Italian American, that spell will be broken.

That said, this show is horrible and everyone involved with it should be ashamed of themselves. The biggest shock of the entire premiere was the fact that the show actually has credits (though, suspiciously, not very many!) Here are nine horrifying clips from this painful TV show about, and let's call them what they are: eight individuals afflicted with the same crippling syndrome, rounded up by an attention-hungry cable network and presented for us to laugh at and pretend to be shocked by. Let's think of it as one long, entertaining anti-tanning PSA. Above, the shore house mates meet each other.

Snooki demonstrates that she likes being the center of attention, and "Ring Around the Rosie" is given a new meaning.







"I just don't want your pukey breath on me." I have a new appreciation for the kindness and maturity of my tormentors in 7th grade.







New girls arrive, and quickly get naked. Angelina freaks.





"This situation is is going to be indescribable. You can't even describe this situation." - The Situation





The shore house becomes a yelling house.





"I should have just pounded out what's her face on Friday." Never before has a man's term for the sexual act so aptly described his bad technique.





"Guys, I gotta let you know something that's disgusting." Vinny has PINKEYE!







"Go upstairs with your whores and have fun." = Funny

"I will cut your hair while you're sleeping." = Funny

"If a girl's a slut, she should be abused." = Unforgivably sickening. Like this show, really.

The Lady will perform on September 13 at this year's MTV Video Music Awards, and she's planning something big. In an interview with Newsweek's Ramin Setoodeh, she says: "I'm going to be performing one of the most recent singles off my album. But it's going to be a different and more dramatic interpretation. And it is most certainly rooted in New York-style performance art." Setoodeh asks — and who could blame him — "What does that mean?"

Gaga explains:

It's less of me singing the song, and more of an art installation. A performance-art piece. It's very well-designed and thought out, and we've been planning it for months and months. It is for me a very meaningful performance, [for] where I am in my career, as well as the experiences I've had, as well as the co-headlining tour I'm going on in the fall. […] I sort of have this philosophy about things: there's never a reason to do something unless it's going to be memorable, unless it's going to change things, unless it's going to inspire a movement. With the song and with the performance, I hope to say something very grave about fame and the price of it.

Does that clear anything up? Hell no. But even more cryptic is her answer to the question, "what are you going to wear?"

I would say that the fashion for the performance is a representation of the most stoic and memorable martyrs of fame in history. It's intended to be an iconic image that represents people. I think after watching the performance and maybe studying it after you watch it on YouTube, you'll see the references and the symbols come through.

And, when talking about her lighting scheme, Ms. Gaga says: "I like it to be moody. I like it to evoke an idea more than light my face. It's not about what you see. It's about what you don't see, and sometimes that vacant space can be very scary."

Perhaps you find it tiring to hear about her "philosophy," her "art," "symbols" and "meaning." Maybe it would be easier if she just said, "I'm going to dress like Joan of Arc. It's gonna be dope." But the other women topping the chart right now? Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift. Those two aren't exactly… interesting.

Back when that song "Beautiful" was all over the radio, a DJ friend of mine once said, "The devil didn't invent rock and roll for James Blunt." And I can't help but agree, as a woman raised on filthy Prince lyrics, Madonna writhing to "Like A Virgin" (at the VMAs!) and sexual innuendo in George Michael hits. Lots of people can sing. Lots of people write songs. Pop music should be more that that. Not a lot of people sing well, or write catchy songs; Lady Gaga does both. But more importantly: Lady Gaga makes it exciting. Titillating, unexpected. With Muppet coats, teacups, awful (untrue) hermaphrodite rumors and general pantslessness. Without her, pop would be a bland landscape right now. And think about it: People mocked what David Bowie and KISS wore, too. In addition, she uses her Haus of Gaga to "propel" friends and young designers into the spotlight, using her fame to further their careers.

You might think Lady Gaga is pretentious, a phony. But if she is, it's as someone once said of Holly Golightly: She's a real phony… She honestly believes all this phony junk that she believes. Asked, "How old were you when you first wanted to be famous?" Lady Gaga replies:

I think I was in my mother's womb. But it's not about fame, you see. It's about "The Fame." It's about a life of glamour. I believe in a glamorous life.

Lady Gaga Will Rock the VMAs [Newsweek]

Earlier: Questions About The High Fashion & Domestic Violence In Lady GaGa's Video
Before The Teacup & Blonde Wig, Pants Were Still A Problem
Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore
Lady Gaga Visits The View

The show, for the uninitiated, focuses on the Simmons sisters and their close friends and family as they move to Los Angeles and prepare to launch their clothing and shoe line, Pastry.

Now, the show is kind of entrepreneurship light - after all, the Simmons' girls have a substantial financial cushion in their father, Reverend Run of Run-DMC fame. And their famous uncle, Russell Simmons is also around to help with advice, financing, and promotion. I believe the parents put a cap on their initial investment, but having those kind of resources to tap must be nice.

In addition to that, Vanessa and Angela don't seem to be suffering for their business. I'm not sure how many entrepreneurs I know who are able, in the first year of launching their business, to afford to move to a much larger and much nicer house (with what seems to be an unlimited decorating budget). But I'm not hating - that's all part of the reality TV magic.

To be honest, though, I can lay aside the larger stretches and enjoy the show. I'm quite cheered at the fact there is a large group of young women - young black women, at that - who spend a significant chunk of televised time discussing their business, requirements, and plans for the future. And the fact that they share in their plans and struggles with their friends (as they did in the clip above) makes for a refreshing break from the drunken fights and ridiculous spontaneous-but-really-rehearsed disses and betrayals that comprise so much of what is broadcast on reality tv.

I hope that Daddy's Girls can avoid the pitfalls of another show I used to enjoy, Gimme Sugar. Broadcast on LOGO, Gimme Sugar followed club promoter Charlene as she and her friends focused on throwing a popular club night for lesbians (called Truck Stop) and the ensuing issues when Charlene's friends hatched a plan to throw a competing club night. The first season was full of drama, but also lots of practical discussions about what it takes to promote a night. I really enjoyed watching the women try to work out their problems, and even though the girls ultimately failed in their mission to have a competing night (not enough organization or capital), that allowed Charlene to bring them into her employer's fold.

Unfortunately, the second season of Gimme Sugar (taking place in Miami) focuses solely on the hotness of the girls and their personal drama, with the business element fading away to an annoying footnote.

So far, the Simmons seem to be committed to their business and making it grow. I must admit, it was kind of a rush to see Angela close a sale on the spur of the moment, even as their show room was unprepared and they were not prepared for clients.

Hopefully, if Daddy's Girls is successful, perhaps we will have even more representations of women on reality television that focus on their competence and business savvy, and not their breakdowns.

Official Site [Pastry]
Daddy's Girls [MTV]
Gimme Sugar [Logo]
Gimme Sugar: Miami [Logo]

• John Malkovich has a clothing line. Who knew? His collection, branded Technobohemian, is actually the actor's second foray into fashion, he launched a line called Uncle Kimono in 2002. We hope his Milan show models all wear Malkovich masks. [WWD]

• Milan menswear week overall is on somewhat shaky ground. Although it's only three days long, there are 93 collections being presented  some 15% more than in January. Some organizers are talking like they've seen the bottom of the market, but on the totality of the evidence, that view seems premature. [Reuters]
• Stephanie Winston Wolkoff, Anna Wintour's event planner extraordinaire and the woman behind the annual Met Costume Institute Gala is leaving her position. She actually says it's to spend more time with her family. [P6]
• British designer Paul Smith designed some rather innovative trash cans for London's Covent Garden and Holland Park. Shaped like 5' bunnies holding out big plastic bags, the rabbits' ears light up when people throw in their litter. It's a little Donnie Darko but cool. [UnBeige]
• A new Dolce & Gabbana ad has Claudia Schiffer, Eva Herzigova, Naomi Campbell, Noah Mills, Fernando Fernandes, and Tyson Ballou all completely naked. And yet the mood of the picture isn't all Calvin Klein tawdry. [FWD]
• Those boots from Emma Hemming's W shoot with Bruce Willis, in case anyone was wondering, were Nina Ricci Fall 2009. We were, of course, already familiar. [W]
• Alexa Chung's wardrobe from It's On With Alexa Chung is viewable, purchasable, and fully archived via the MTV website. In case one should want to buy anything the host wears. [WWD]
• Coach is said to be developing a signature line for its creative director, Reed Krakoff. The company has recently trademarked "Reed," "Reed Krakoff," and "RK." Krakoff has led the company since 1996. [FWD]
• Karl Lagerfeld's costume for Elena Glurdjidze, of the English National Ballet, was not the toast of the dance critics on opening night. The Telegraph called it an "awful outfit that put Elena Glurdjidze's Dying Swan in a feathered neck brace, which did nothing to aid her performance of Anna Pavlova's favourite party piece" and the Guardian said the tutu was "conceived with cavalier disregard for the ballerina's working body - the line of the neck broken by an egregious, fluffy ruff, the waistline broken by a too-high skirt." [FP]
• There are some behind-the-scenes shots of Pirelli's notable nudie calendar in the making. Fashionologie has the best gallery; these are by Terry Richardson, so you should consider them unsafe for work (and life?) [Fashionologie]
• Escada is said to be on the verge of bankruptcy, and needs to raise cash now to survive. [Reuters]
• Mulberry's profits are up, on the back of same-store sales that grew 21% in the 10 weeks to June 9. [FT]

• In a move that smacks of Chanel-Audrey-Jean-Pierre, Dior announced it's making a 6 1/2 minute online perfume ad with Marion Cotillard and Olivier Dahan, who of course directed Cotillard in La Vie En Rose. [WWD]

• Richard Avedon's retrospective at the International Center of Photography, opening tomorrow, is the largest show of his fashion work yet mounted. Cathy Horyn spoke to curators Carole Squiers and Vince Aletti, plus friends like the New Yorker's Adam Gopnik, about the legendary lensman and his manifest influence on contemporary fashion photography. [NY Times]
• Alexa Chung, the British former model who recently moved stateside to present a new show for MTV, endears perhaps most of all by not pretending her job is difficult. "Presenting isn't hard. You're basically reading cards. I mean, how fucking difficult is that?" And then by sharing these words about the television industry: "I think the mistake a lot of TV channels make is that they assume kids are dumb when they're not. Middle-aged fat men [shouldn't] tell young people [what] to watch when they have no idea." [WWD]
• Aldo, the normally good relatively cheap shoe line, wants us to wear horrendous teal 'n' bronze 'n' snakeskin 'n' studs gladiator sandals this summer. [LA Times]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's fashion line, Elizabeth and James, gave People the exclusive on the release of their fall '09 lookbook. This marks a new uppermost notch on the continual rise of lookbooks into campaign territory. [People]
• Carla Bruni-Sarkozy and her husband are reportedly considering moving into the Paris apartment formerly owned by Yves Saint Laurent and Pierre Bergé. [Daily Mail]
• The Agyness Deyn on Twitter is, says BFF Henry Holland, an imposter. "THIS IS FAKE PEOPLE!!!" typed the designer. "AGGY DOES KNOW HOW TO OPERATE A COMPUTER AND MOST CERTAINLY DOES NOT EAT BREAKFAST!" [Grazia]
• C. Scott Hemphill and Jeannie Suk, law professors at Columbia and Harvard, respectively, give a good summary of the current status of U.S. copyright law in relation to clothing  which is that it offers designers not a whit of protection from knock-off artistes  and why it would be a good idea to change it. [XX]
• In related news: Trovata's case against Forever 21, which it accuses of copying six of its designs, has begun at a federal court in California. [WWD]
• Urban Outfitters is rolling out two new designer diffusion lines for summer: both Burberry and fellow British brand Pistol Panties are going to be selling bikinis at the American chain this summer. [Telegraph]
• Urban Outfitters' Philadelphia-based parent company just announced very disappointing earnings for the first quarter of this year. Same-store sales across the whole company dropped by 9.6%, and profits fell 28%, to $30.8 million. Free People was the biggest-losing brand, with sales at its stores slipping by 23%. Anthropologie's sales were down by 13%, and Urban Outfitters by 6%. The CEO, Glenn Senk, says his company is "well-positioned to show improvement over the next several quarters," in what is surely the understatement of the year. [The Street]
• Yesterday's flurry of rumors about the future of i-D magazine  Derek Blasberg Twittered from the Chanel resort show in Venice that the fashion monthly might have closed  the publishers have clarified that i-D will be bi-monthly as of this September. The current April issue will be on newsstands until then; the magazine will run more frequent online content instead. [Fashionologie]
• Another not-new piece of menswear news: Designers using foam batting, instead of perhaps down, as lofty insulation within garments. You know, because foam has structure. [WSJ]
• According to sources, Louis Vuitton Moët Hennessy is to buy an almost 50% stake in the eco-conscious fashion line Edun, owned by Bono and wife Ali Hewson. Edun was founded in 2005 and manufactures its organic cotton goods in the third world, while paying workers fair wages. A cash infusion from LVMH would allow it to ramp up its advertising and exponentially expand its reach. [WSJ]
• Philip Lim, whose clothes  though still expensive  hit a price point well below that of many of his designer competitors, is anticipating a 15% growth in sales this year. Accordingly, he's planning to add three new lines to his label: swimwear, footwear, and lingerie. The first, his swim collection, will launch this summer, with three styles, two one-pieces and one bikini, priced at $175 each. Lingerie, for $65-$125, will be available at his Manhattan boutique from May 20. Footwear, at $290-$675, will hit stores this fall. And don't expect 6" heels with fiddly feathered doo-dads that might last twenty steps in their original condition. "Everyone's making crazy shoes," said Lim, "so we were like, ‘Let's do working shoes, but sophisticated and beautiful.'" [WWD]
• Maidenform's first quarter earnings declined by 0.8%. Although the brand experienced higher sales, its margins were hurt by aggressive discounting to move old stock. [WSJ]
• Kohl's profit for the quarter just ended fell slightly on last year, to $137 million, but still beat analysts' expectations. Sales rose during the same period by 0.4%. [Reuters]
• Hartmarx wants another six months to file for reorganization in bankruptcy court. [WWD]

This is the 18th annual MTV Movie Awards, but the first year that fans have voted on the final nominees. That may explain some of the odd match ups, which are, "pitting Hollywood vampires against the Mumbai slums," as the MTV press release put it. Of course, the MTV Movie Awards have never been presented as a serious awards show, but it's still strange to think that Anne Hathaway is nominated for her performance in Bride Wars not Rachel Getting Married, and that Ashley Tisdale could beat Freida Pinto for the best Female Breakthrough Performance.

From today through May 27 viewers can vote at MovieAwards.MTV.com to determine the winners, which will be announced during a live broadcast on Sunday, May 31, hosted by Andy Samberg. The nominees are:

BEST MOVIE
• The Dark Knight
• High School Musical 3: Senior Year
• Iron Man
• Slumdog Millionaire
• Twilight

BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE
• Angelina Jolie – Wanted
• Anne Hathaway – Bride Wars
• Kate Winslet – The Reader
• Kristen Stewart – Twilight
• Taraji P. Henson – The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

BEST MALE PERFORMANCE
• Christian Bale – The Dark Knight
• Robert Downey Jr. – Iron Man
• Shia LaBeouf – Eagle Eye
• Vin Diesel – Fast & Furious
• Zac Efron – High School Musical 3: Senior Year

BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE FEMALE
• Amanda Seyfried – Mamma Mia!
• Ashley Tisdale – High School Musical 3: Senior Year
• Freida Pinto – Slumdog Millionaire
• Miley Cyrus – Hannah Montana: The Movie
• Vanessa Hudgens – High School Musical 3: Senior Year
• Kat Dennings – Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE MALE
• Robert Pattinson – Twilight
• Taylor Lautner – Twilight
• Ben Barnes – The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
• Dev Patel – Slumdog Millionaire
• Bobb'e J. Thompson – Role Models

BEST COMEDIC PERFORMANCE
• Amy Poehler – Baby Mama
• Anna Faris – The House Bunny
• James Franco – Pineapple Express
• Jim Carrey – Yes Man
• Steve Carell – Get Smart

BEST VILLAIN
• Derek Mears – Friday The 13th
• Dwayne Johnson – Get Smart
• Heath Ledger – The Dark Knight
• Johnathon Schaech – Prom Night
• Luke Goss – Hellboy II: The Golden Army

BEST FIGHT
• Anne Hathaway vs. Kate Hudson – Bride Wars
• Christian Bale vs. Heath Ledger – The Dark Knight
• Ron Perlman vs. Luke Goss – Hellboy II: The Golden Army
• Robert Pattinson vs. Cam Gigandet – Twilight
• Seth Rogen and James Franco vs. Danny McBride – Pineapple Express

BEST KISS
• Angelina Jolie and James McAvoy – Wanted
• Freida Pinto and Dev Patel – Slumdog Millionaire
• James Franco and Sean Penn – Milk
• Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson – Twilight
• Paul Rudd and Thomas Lennon – I Love You, Man
• Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron – High School Musical 3: Senior Year

BEST WTF MOMENT (New Category)
• Amy Poehler – Baby Mama, Peeing In the Sink
• Angelina Jolie – Wanted, Curved Bullet Kill
• Ayush Mahesh Khedekar – Slumdog Millionaire, Jumping in the Poop Shed
• Ben Stiller – Tropic Thunder, Tasting the Decapitated Head
• Jason Segel and Kristen Bell – Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Naked Break-Up

BEST SONG FROM A MOVIE (New Category)
• "Jai Ho" – AR Raham, Slumdog Millionaire
• "The Wrestler" – Bruce Springsteen, The Wrestler
• "The Climb" – Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana: The Movie
• "Decode" – Paramore, Twilight

"TWILIGHT"VS. "SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE"! TOP FAN-NOMINATED FILMS GET READY TO RUMBLE AT THE "2009 MTV MOVIE AWARDS" [MTV Press]

This morning, Anna sent me the link to a typically dispiriting 'kids today' tale of woe, from the Daily Mail, no less. It deals with the "rise of the child-woman" a terrifying breed of tweens who swathe themselves in Tammy Faye-levels of M.A.C. and obsess about calories and implants. Their mothers fall into the usual camps, depressing BFFs who buy their 10-year-olds pedicures, and bewildered types apparently lacking in any authority, who take a "what can I do?" approach to the precocious monsters who apparently sprung, fully-formed and scantily clad, from their loins and homes. So, nothing new there. Then BoingBoing put up a post to a series of thought-provoking photos of "dead-eyed" Russian children of privilege, which didn't do much for the day's portrait of the future of the world.

Whenever I am faced with one of these "news stories," in which the younger generation is presented as an ungovernable monolith sexting wildly in knockoff Louboutins , I mentally thank goodness, ironically enough, for that lead horseman of the youth-deadening apocalypse, MTV. Or, more specifically, for Made. It's one of the happier consequences of a recent bout with the Black Dog (as Churchill called his depression) that I rediscovered the venerable MTV makeover show in which, for you rock-dwellers, high-school kids realize a far-fetched dream with the help of a "coach" and a sizable MTV budget. And it's a bracing reminder that, even with high-budget editing, there are kids out there working hard, treating each other well, and surviving high school.

In the throes of sadness, I found that watching old episodes of Made (all backlogged on MTV.com) was the only thing that made me feel better - hell, that made me feel inspired! I started slow, with nerds-making-good, because I identified more with the quiet outsiders, even if I didn't fully understand their desires to become prom queens or members of their school's "streamer" teams (and wow, it's a crash course on regional customs, too.) For those who don't know the formula, kid faces skepticism and derision from family and schoolmates; coach takes kid in hand and makes him get out of his comfort zone; kid realizes it's hard and slacks off; coach loses temper and there's a battle of wills; kid buckles down and triumphs before amazed peers. There's generally some sort of goal kid and coach are working towards - be it a concert where a bookish loner will impress with his rap skills, a school pageant where an outsider shatters preconceptions about her social skills, or some kind of try-out. Even if a kid doesn't make the team or win the contest, they usually learn, grow and change enough that everyone feels satisfied, and it's never less than feel-good.

Having watched my way through every nerd-becomes rocker/bookworm-forms-dance-crew/outsider becomes ladies' man, I was forced to move on to popular-kids-challenging-stereotypes. To my shock, I found this subgenre even more inspiring! While it's easy to see why someone would want to become Homecoming Queen or learn to date, I found I admired the kids who (in the HS sense) had it made and opted to take on robot science or debate. While their challenges rarely result in spectacular results - these skills tend to be hard to master in six weeks - I was warmed by the unlikely friendships these resulted in between brains and jocks, cheerleaders and debaters.

Now, you might ask, who wouldn't want to be on MTV? And of course other kids are going to be nice to someone who's getting screen-time. Well, sure, and no doubt this has motivated a good number of the show's subjects. However, the reality of the work-load, the genuine difficulty of the goals, always tends to offset this. Do some girls agree to date the Made dork who obviously wouldn't give him the time of day otherwise? For sure. Do some people 'place' in competitions where they otherwise wouldn't? Probably. But less often than one might think! And what's heartening, always, is the genuine enthusiasm the other kids evince for their accomplishments. I'm not just talking about fellow students; the youthful commenters on the message boards are, generally, earnest and supportive, too. Maybe you're chalking this endorsement up to the vagaries of chemical instability, and I'm not saying this is something I'd have dived into with such enthusiasm had I been a bit heartier. But I'm glad I did. And I defy anyone to watch "John is Made into Prom King" without crying tears of relief, exultation, and true joy.

Rise Of The Child Women: The New Breed Of Girls As Young As Ten Who Dream Of Manicures, Diets And Breast Implants [Daily Mail]
A Train-Wreck Of Privilege [Boing-Boing]
Made, Official Site [MTV]

• Michelle Obama wore French-born Brooklyn-based designer Sophie Theallet to unveil a bust of Sojourner Truth at Emancipation Hall yesterday. Naturally, journalistically, WWD asked the designer to specify the First Lady's measurements. Theallet declined. [WWD]

• Michael Kors, on the now-solved problem of women becoming socially invisible as they age: "I used to hear women saying, ‘Oh, I hate my arms, I hate my thighs' when they got older, but now they don't. They're in the gym or doing yoga, or getting what they don't like fixed. Sigourney Weaver's 60, Michelle Pfeiffer's 50. Michelle Obama is showing older women that you can be serious without looking stiff, and showing younger women that you don't have to dress like a hoochy mama to be modern. It's all different. Everyone is refusing to age." [Times of London]
• Christopher Kane is tackling a wider range of items than ever in his next season's Topshop range. Expect bags, knitwear, and shoes, in addition to the clothes. [Grazia]
• Fellow Brit Stella McCartney made the Time 100, the only fashion designer represented. Gwyneth Paltrow, her BFF, did the profile. [WWD]
• Vera Wang bedazzled a BlackBerry for a breast cancer charity raffle. Elizabeth Hurley will do the honors. [WWD]
• Now this is a match made in heaven: showmen fashion designers Viktor & Rolf are turning their talents to opera. For a German production of Der Freischütz, the duo made costumes with over a million crystals. That, Vera, is how you do bling. [Elle UK]
• The Payless shoes on Christian Siriano's runway back in February were kind of hideous; the ones likely to make it into stores this August are kind of boring. Let's hope he can even out his aesthetic at some point during his multi-year contract. [Racked]
• Alexa Chung, the British ex-model, moved to New York to further her television career  and was hotly rumored to be exploring options with MTV. That opportunity seems to have come to fruition: Chung will host a daily show on the network, something like TRL, only with Twitter. [Yahoo! News]
• The September Issue Director R.J. Cutler, on how his subject, Anna Wintour, communicates: "It's mostly in silences, gestures, and the occasional use of language. It's more than enough and she always gets her way. When she's not getting her way, she's happy to speak at greater length. In her work environment, that's how she communicates with everyone. Some people see the film and say, she seems so closed. She's a closed gal. That's who she is. But the times that she does open up in her life are the times that you see her open in the film  when she's with Bee, when she's talking about her dad, talking about her siblings. It's family." [MakingOf]
• The SoHo Hogan store is closing, and looking for a space uptown. [Racked]
• Australian Fashion Week, like fashion weeks everywhere, was smaller this season than before the recession. There were 15% fewer shows, and two catwalks inside the venue, compared to last August's three. Fewer buyers attended, and, barring any case of Aussie economic exceptionalism, the orders they place will prove smaller. Organizers say they expect things will be much better next season, because organizers have to say things like that. At least in public. [Reuters]
• As for the designers who did bother showing, half of them seemed to be phoning in 80s nostalgia and Balmain shoulderpads, and one, Ant!podium, well, they really, really like Beth Ditto. So they found a proudly non-model-sized tattooed artist named Tokio Pink to walk in their show. Such is their commitment to diversity. [News.com.au]
• Max Azria, on the other hand, isn't predicting any great improvement in business conditions during the rest of this year. [WWD]
• Jones Apparel Group, owner of the brands Anne Klein, Nine West, and Jones New York, handily beat analysts' expectations in their quarterly profit announcement. Although revenue still fell 9%, Jones shares rose 10% in response to the good news. [Reuters]
• Prada's profits fell 22% in 2008. [WWD]
• The opening of Forever 21's first store in Japan was a bit of a madhouse, apparently. It isn't hard to imagine why. [WWD]

According to Tim Arango of The New York Times, the network is attempting to steer away from its idiotic slate of programming in order to keep up with the changing tastes of their viewing audience: "After years of celebrating wealth, celebrity and the vapid excesses of youth, MTV is trying to gloss its escapist entertainment with a veneer of positive social messages." In other words, in a recession, nobody really wants to watch a spoiled 16-year-old get the birthday party of her dreams.

When considering a new slate of programming for the network, executives were faced with the reality that young viewers are moving away from programs featuring rich kids flaunting their wealth and looking for shows that spoke to their sense of community, progress, and opportunities to make a difference in the world. "It was very clear we were at one of those transformational moments, when this new generation of millennials were demanding a new MTV," Stephen Friedman, MTV's general manager, tells the Times.

But even as the network attempts to change its image with programs like "TI's Road To Redemption" and the latest version of "The Real World," which, for the first time in years, followed a group of young people who weren't drunk and obnoxious 24/7, MTV still clings to the programs that keep them locked in a downward spiral: "My Super Sweet 16," "MTV Cribs," and "The Hills." MTV's President, Van Toffler, explains: "It's not like you flip a light switch from one type of programming to another," said Van Toffler, "The notion of escapism will still live next to inspiration."

But what MTV fails to understand is that their brand of escapism is embarrassing, tacky, and hopelessly out-of-touch. What may have seemed aspirational 5 years ago now seems impossible and, to a point, terrible: in a time where people are losing their jobs and homes, is Cribs, a show that pretty much encapsulates the concept of buying shit you don't need or can really afford, the best way to provide an escape to people? Or is it just a reminder that buying unnecessary things with money that one doesn't have is one of the reasons we're in this economic mess in the first place?

If MTV really wants to revamp their image and keep up with the kids, perhaps they should stop underestimating their audience and pumping out mindless bullshit shows that center solely on money and stupid things people do with it. Or, you know, maybe they could consider playing music again. Just kidding! That will never happen.

Make Room, Rich Little Cynics, MTV Wants To Do Some Good [NYTimes]