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| posts about #mothermayi more → |
Will The Mommy Wars Make For Drama? |
Mothers And Daughters And Weight, Oh My |
Our Lady Of Couture |
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Jezebel 
09/10/09
Here is the cast of characters from every show that makes moms the protagonists:
The Stay At Home Mom: She is a perfectionist alpha mom who pretends her life is perfect, but she is secretly miserable- laughter ensues as we see her try desperately to maintain the facade of the perfect mom.
The Working Mom: She brings home the bacon and fries it up in a pan, but she secretly is terrified of being alone with her kids. The male nanny is always better at soothing the crying baby- laughter ensues as we watch how greatful she is that "vacation" is finally over and she can get back to that relaxing world of work.
The hippy dippy mom: This mom just doesn't care too much about anything, so long as everyone has good karma. Play outside naked? No problem! Drove the car into a lake? Chill out, man! Laughter ensues as we watch her bond with the household help- she is friends with everyone, even the Tibetan nanny!
The dads: These are the guys who are either completely incompetent, or way more competent than the moms. They take the blame and save the day, usually in the same episode.
The spiteful childfree woman: She hates kids and the fact that they ruin her trip to the coffee shop. Kids are just poop and vomit, right? But secretly she wants kids and knows she is incomplete without them.
You wonder why these shows fail? Because they are all the same and they are all insulting! BOO!
09/10/09
Although I do have to say I would LOVE to see breastfeeding on tv.
09/10/09
The same friend told me that she had just been given a ton of used Baby Gap and Ralph Lauren baby clothes by a friend, who had offered them first to some other women but was told they weren't "name brand" enough.
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09/10/09
I'll never understand expensive baby clothes.
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09/10/09
Example: my friend has dated this guy for years, on and off (currently on). She would freak the fuck out if I referred to him as her boyfriend, because he "doesn't like labels." I just didn't know what else to call the guy with whom she had sex, saw movies, went out to dinner, socialized with mutual friends, started a kickball team, etc. I mean, what else do you call that guy? What else do you call the reserved night when Mom and Dad make plans outside the home without the kids?
09/10/09
But if I think about it mostly it's because of the awful parents I know who use the term. See, e.g., the partner who sexually harrassed me AND my assistant but routinely informed our office when he was having "date night" with his wife. While that's a very extreme example, the people I personally know who use it are uniformly the type of yuppie parent Sohn is describing here.
09/10/09
Sorry the partner was such a doink.
09/10/09
I'm sorry too - I had to leave my firm! Asshole.
09/10/09
Sorry you're having trouble on the parental friends front. I'm on the other end of the stick -- all my friends are paired off and procreating and I'm not sure what to do with myself. Also, the grass on your side of the fence is just the loveliest shade of green!
09/10/09
Anyway, threadjack aside....
I have one friend with a baby, and we were friends before either of us had kids. But even there I am worried - she has always been prickly and I think she is insulted when I don't share her opinions about things (like how she is becoming somewhat anti-vaccination). I prefer my child-free friends.
09/10/09
In the immortal words of vampire Willow: 'Bored now".
09/10/09
I know the spots in my city for this kind of lifestyle. Back when I was all doped up on new mommylove, I went to them. Now I don't - but I'm not bothered by other people being there.
It would be nice to think that Sadie's idea of a show about the Great Conversation would be a ratings hit, but I suppose this kind of book/movie/show/clothing line/soundtrack will be popular because it will give people all kinds of characters about whom they can feel superior.
09/10/09
Someday we'll see books about living in the most desirable "mature community" in south Florida...
09/10/09
@greengrey: I wonder if there be desirable things like that new scooter that everyone wants to get.
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09/10/09
You had me at "Prune-tini!"
You can age in my Craftsman-style retirement bungalow (with authentic period detail! And farm sink!) anytime.
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08/25/09
She was most prob certifiably cray-cray, but I get the feeling that my mother and maybe also my grandmother and aunt used to have eating issues, even if not as severe; the only time I have truly seen my mum lose her shit was when I was 13ish and going thru puberty, and my dad made some throw-away comment about how I was 'packing it on', and my mother just boomed 'don't you EVER say anything like that to my daughters again!'
Ah, family.
08/24/09
08/24/09
I'd graduated at the top of my high-school class with a full college scholarship waiting at the end of the rainbow, and at that point, I decided that their fucked-up issues with their own bodies weren't going to interfere with my life. I was going to develop my OWN fucked-up issues with my body, God dammit!
My grandmother has a willowy Swedish build; my mother inherited the squatty, sturdy genes of my Quebecois grandfather, and my grandmother never let her forget it. (When she was 16, she broke up with a boyfriend and dieted down to a size 4; my grandmother has never stopped talking about how my mother was prom queen in 1975, and how she "used to be so pretty.") My mother, in turn, didn't want me to end up like her, and tried relentlessly to bribe me into losing weight; a CD for 5 pounds, a new video for 10, and a new wardrobe if I ever made it down to the 120 pounds she thought I was supposed to be.
After six years of working relentlessly to accept myself the way I am (which is, for the record, a few sizes bigger than my size-18 mama), I think I've finally rubbed off on my mother; there's no more crash dieting, no more guilt, no more buying pants two sizes too small as incentive. She did offer to get me a Weight Watchers membership last year, but I told her that I wasn't going to let her invest her money in a program that places value judgements on your food choices and shames women into weight loss that doesn't stick anyway. She wisely decided to leave that one alone -- she knows a rant when she sees one.
And now I want to go eat a big hunk of blue cheese.
08/24/09
Yes, I think that our relationship regarding my weight when I was younger made a huge impact on who I've become. Thankfully though, she isn't so focused on that anymore. At least, not to my face.
08/25/09
She's backed off a bit now, though she still sees any mention of weight by me as an invitation to 'weigh in' (hah). I don't think she means harm--I don't even think she means to undermine me, that's not really her style--but like you I think the weight thing has become a huge part of my life.
08/25/09
Almost 15 years later and that still hurts