• Chris Brown whined to Vibe about how Oprah Winfrey treated him after he assaulted Rihanna saying, "I didn't get a call from them or anything. I felt embarrassed, but at the same time I felt stabbed in the back."

• He continues: "Ok, Oprah you have so much power and people really listen to what you say. You don't know anything that went down and you jump to conclusions and start bringing people on the set that have no similarities to me other than a domestic dispute. And then compare them to me when she's around me and knows me. She could have called me and been like, 'Chris, let me get you on my show and I'm going to do this kind of segment.'" As for BET: "The BET Awards was horrible. I was watching it, holding my face like, ‘Oh my God this is wack'... They were so bent on not getting me there that they messed up their own show." The new issue, which mark's Vibe's relaunch, features Chris on one cover and Drake (who was linked to Rihanna in May) on the other. And to answer Chris's question, yes, we "r still down" about domestic violence. [BET]
• Tiger Woods' wife Elin Nordegren has moved out of their home, according to nosy neighbors. Sources say she's living nearby, but Tiger and his reps are keeping her move secret and trying to convince her to move back into their house. [Radar Online]
• Sources say Tiger Woods continued pursuing Rachel Uchitel after his Thanksgiving weekend car crash, texting her repeatedly and telling her he wanted to find a way to see her. [TMZ]
• A source claims Tiger Woods hasn't appeared in public recently because Elin Nordegren broke his tooth. "Elin confronted him about texting Rachel Uchitel and flew into a rage," said the source. "She apparently threw the phone at his mouth and broke one of his teeth... Elin then grabbed a golf club and chased him around the house, doing tens of thousands of dollars in damage. He ran out to the car barefoot to get away from her and was in such a state of panic that he crashed." [Star]
• Reports that Tiger Woods' mother-in-law Barbro Holmberg was at the scene of the crash are untrue. She just arrived in the U.S. this weekend. [TMZ]
• A source says when Tiger Woods was taken to the hospital after the crash, he had to be admitted directly to the intensive care unit so he could be intubated and have his breathing stabilized. Though his neighbor reported that he was asleep and snoring on his lawn, a source says "that was the sound of an airway that wasn't stable." [MSNBC]
• According to new documents, the Florida Highway Patrol wanted to do a blood test on Tiger Woods because a "witness" (probably Elin), "stated that the driver had consumed alcohol earlier in the day and the same witness removed the driver from the vehicle after the collision." The request was denied and the police determined alcohol wasn't a factor. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Davenport, who is a friend of Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren, says the media's "insinuation that [Elin] would be aggressive or attacking is just preposterous. ... She always handles herself with class." [ET]
• Tiger Woods posted another apology on his website today — to his sponsors, not his wife. He wrote: "As the final round of the Chevron World Challenge begins, I would like to extend my heartfelt thank you to everyone affiliated with the event, especially our amazing title sponsor, Chevron." [TMZ]
• BREAKING: Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren had a meeting yesterday with a man wearing a suit. [TMZ]
• Ashley Dupre, the former escort who slept with former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, weighed in on the Tiger Woods scandal for no apparent reason. She says of the women coming forward about their affairs with Tiger, "I don't agree with that they're doing. I don't agree with coming forward," but adds, "When you sleep with a married man... first of all, you're only helping them stay married." [Extra]
• Mindy Lawton, one of Tiger Woods alleged mistresses, was charged with felony DWI in January for rear ending a car that hit another car and failing a sobriety test. [TMZ]
• According to this guide in People, Tiger Woods may have as many as 12 mistresses, including porn star Holly Sampson, an "Anonymous Florida Cougar," and "Trailer Trash Orlando Neighbor." Okay. [People]
• Yes, it can get worse: One of Tiger Woods' mistresses contacted Playgirl with an offer to sell pictures of his penis that she took on her cell phone. [Perez Hilton]
• Michelle Duggar, who is pregnant with her 19th child, was rushed to the hospital this weekend. "Michelle Duggar was admitted to an Arkansas hospital due to gallbladder issues," says a TLC rep. "The pain from a gallstone was generating some contractions... Though there were some fears that the baby was in trouble initially, it soon was discovered to be solely the gallstone causing the discomfort. Michelle is resting comfortably, and the baby is doing fine." [People]
• Alexa Ray Joel is doing better after being hospitalized for a suicide attempt or "reaction to herbal medication." Her rep says, "She is feeling much better. She is with her family and looking forward to getting back on track... I want to thank everyone for their outpouring of love and support." [People]
• Pete Doherty was arrested outside a bar in Germany for throwing a pint glass at a parked car, smashing the back window. The bartender said: "He was drinking shots and constantly asking where to get cocaine." [Ireland Online]
• Russell Brand says Katy Perry has helped him settle down. "It was a deep craving within me – I mistook it for lust," he said. "I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough – to get the right one. I'm ever so happy." As for marriage, he said, "I don't know, get married, you say? That would be good, isn't it? I want to have children – that would be good." [People]
• Though Nas admitted he'd been smoking weed and failed several sobriety tests when he was pulled over for DUI in September he says, "You know what it is ... profiling man ... but you, they can't stop a good man from shining, man." [TMZ]
• Heidi Androl of The Apprentice was pulled over for DUI around 3 a.m. because someone called the police to report that she was driving only 35 on the California Freeway. She performed "poorly" on several field sobriety tests. [TMZ]
• Chaz Bono and his girlfriend Jennifer Elia bought children's books at Kitson for Kids this weekend, so Jennifer must be pregnant. [Perez Hilton]
• Andrew McCarthy is going to direct an episode of Gossip Girl in the spring. He says the show's stars are different from the Brat Pack because, "They are much more savvy than we were... We were just a bunch of dumb kids running around." [People]
• Eminem's new song "Elevator," Includes this line: "Sorry, Lance, Mr. Lambert, and Aiken ain't gonna make it/ They get so mad, when I call them both fake/ It's all these fucking voices in my head, I can't take it." It seems tame for him, but he pronounces "fake it's" as "faggots." Adam Lambert Tweeted: "Wow, Eminem mentioned me in a song?! I must be doing something right!? Even if he used the 'F word,'" Clay Aiken and Lance Bass haven't responded. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Sadie Frost says she doesn't know or care if Jude Law and Sienna Miller are back together: "I don't really know what the situation is, because it doesn't affect me. They're in the same circles, I'm sure they're friends, it's not my business to ask." [Telegraph]
• South Africans are mad that Jennifer Hudson has been cast as Winnie Madikizela-Mandela in an upcoming film instead of a native actress. In a press conference, the president of the Creative Workers Union of South Africa said, "We want to develop our own Hollywood, and yet we keep bringing in imports." [Times Online]
• A couple from Michigan was arrested for allegedly blackmailing John Stamos for $700,000 and threatening to release photos of Stamos from a 2004 party that would "hurt his reputation." [The Smoking Gun]
• According to an account posted on Weezer's website, their tour bus crashed early yesterday morning in upstate New York when the bus slid on black ice and dropped about 10 feet into a ditch. Rivers Cuomo cracked three ribs, but thankfully his wife and baby, who were also on the bus, were uninjured. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Al Pacino will play Shylock in Shakespeare in the Park's production of The Merchant of Venice this summer. He previously played Shylock in a 2004 film. [NYT]
• American Family Insurance has taken a cue from Domino's and pulled it's ads from the MTV show Jersey Shore. "After seeing this show over the weekend, had we known the content, we would not have placed our ads on this show," said a rep. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Aniston hosted a party for 100 friends and employees at her house on Sunday. "Jen loves Christmas, and her house was festively decorated with a huge tree, twinkling Christmas lights and fragrant flower arrangements," says a guest. [People]
• There was speculation that Morrissey cut short a concert in Las Vegas because he was offended by drunken audience member vomiting and brawling, but he cancelled a concert the next day because he had "blown out his voice." [Daily Express]
• Jenny McCarthy says she's excited that Jim Carrey's daughter Jane Carrey is expecting a baby. "I think he's going to make the world's best [grandfather] because he is so animated," said Jenny. "I also think I am going to rock as the grandma. I love her and I am excited about this baby." [People]
• Eddie Vedder and Jill McCormick, the mother of his two daughters, got engaged this weekend. [E!]
• Jenna Fischer announced that her wedding to Lee Kirk will take place next summer in L.A. "We just got our save the date cards in, and they're adorable – after many hours and many proofs later," Fischer says. "We're going to hold them until after the holidays before sending them out so they don't get lost in the holiday mail. They were fun to pick out and [it] was a very fun girlie experience to touch the paper." [People]
• Padma Lakshmi spoke about suffering from endometriosis at MIT, where researchers are developing new treatments for the illness. "I guard my privacy closely, and it seems contradictory when I'm standing here, talking about my period," she said. "But you always have to remember the greater goal. What's more important — my privacy, or the lives of women? I chose the latter." [Reuters]
• The Bonnie Hunt Show has been cancelled. [Perez Hilton]
• Brian Bonsall, who played Andy on Family Ties, was arrested this weekend for allegedly hitting his friend in the face with part of a bar stool. There was already a bench warrant out for his arrest from a 2007 assault charge. [TMZ]
• Michelle Rodriguez says working on Avatar was "like working on Star Wars — the first one. You know how now you watch Star Wars [Episode I in 1999] and you're like 'I could've rented or bought the video game then I'd be in control of what's happening' — because everything's so digital and it doesn't feel real. But you watch the first one [Episode IV in 1977] and I don't know how you feel, but I wonder, 'Why does this feel so much greater than the digitized world he [George Lucas] created now?' And I realize it's because of the props. And that's the kind of live-action world that [James Cameron] created." [L.A. Times]
• Glee's Mark Salling says, "I hate the mohawk... It was cool for a while, but I've had it for like a year, you know I'm kind of over it. I feel better when I don't have it." [People]
• Reese Witherspoon says she's forgiven British Prime Minister Gordon Brown for mistaking her for Renee Zellweger last week when she spoke to Parliament about domestic violence. Reese said: "She's lovely and she's short and blond and southern. So I understand! She actually called up a (mutual) friend of ours and said she'd heard about it (Brown's mistake) - it happens all the time. I have a dog and I took the dog to the vet, and they said, 'No no, we're waiting for Renee Zellweger's dog' and I said, 'Actually this is my dog.' Everybody gets us confused a lot. But there's worse people to be confused with other than a lovely actress!" [Daily Express]

• Karl Lagerfeld gave SpongeBob SquarePants a makeover for a charity auction, resulting in this little charmer, which sold for €1,000. [WWD]

• Zac Posen, who two weeks ago announced a lower-priced line, Z Spoke, will do a line for Target in the U.S. (He already designed a capsule collection for Target's Australian outpost in 2008.) Zac Posen for Target Go International will hit stores on April 25 of next year. Rodarte for Target goes on sale this December, at last. [WWD]
• Even though it's late November in sunny London, Kate Moss is allegedly planning an outdoor dinner party. Her nefarious plan? The supermodel, whose recent choice, in an interview, of a notorious eating disorder sufferers' slogan as her motto we highlighted, wants to be photographed eating food. [Mirror]
• The verdict on "Black Friday" post-Thanksgiving sales: an "unexceptional yet decent" $41.2 billion was spent. [WWD]
• Both potential buyers of the bankrupt house of Christian Lacroix failed to meet a new, extended deadline to provide the bankruptcy court with guarantees of their capital. If the company is not sold, the current owners, the Falic Group, will likely go forward with their preferred scenario, in which only 11 key staff are retained, and the brand is either auctioned off to cover debts, or turned into a licensing machine for scarves and perfumes. [AFP]
• Patrick Dempsey stars with his wife, Jillian, in his new Avon perfume ad. Because this scent is "about two people and the power of the relationship." [People]
• Sonia Rykiel's H&M lingerie line will be launched this December with a fashion show at the Grand Palais. The models will walk on moving floats that travel around a fantasy Parisian streetscape, dominated by a 30 meter Eiffel Tower made from 25 km of wire and fairy lights. Trees will have balloon canopies, and the Café de Flore will be mocked up as the Café Flirt. Also, imagine 6 meter poodles and 2.5 meter bunnies. Best part? It'll be streamed live on the mighty Internet. [SB]
• The pink-and-black '50s-themed collection goes on sale this Saturday in more than 1,500 H&M boutiques worldwide, as well as Rykiel's own stores. Prices range from €7.95 - €19.95 for underwear, and €79.95 for sleepwear. [WWD]
• Morrissey is collaborating with Stella McCartney on a line of vegan footwear. McCartney says the shoes could be in stores next year. [Daily Mail, 2nd item]
• Helena Christensen, on the term of art 'supermodel': it's "silly and cartoonish, but to be a part of that whole group of girls  at the end of the day, I was there. I did it. I am a million experiences richer." [Telegraph]
• It's a comeback for Aussie model Catherine McNeil. McNeil will be on the cover of next month's Australian Vogue, a casting move that her booker says gives any model "credibility"  oddly implying that McNeil needs some. The 20-year-old has been on an extended break from international modeling, but is expected to rejoin the moil next show season, in January. [News.com.au]
• Mulberry creative director Emma Hill, who previously designed accessories for Marc Jacobs and the Gap, on the heyday of 'it' bags: "I was partly responsible, at Marc Jacobs, for the It bag thing. I realized that we'd made it when I saw knock-offs on the street corner. But a trend like that squashes people's individuality. If you're all trying to get the same thing, it's not very special. There are possibly more things to worry about in life than waiting two years for a handbag. I think those years are over." [ToL]
• Jenny Sanford applied to trademark her own name in early July, shortly after the June revelation that her husband, South Carolina governor Mark Sanford, was hiking the Appalachian trail enjoying two magnificent parts of another woman. Jenny Sanford applied for the trademark intending to use it to market a line of clothing, mugs, and other household items, to be sold through her website. The trademark application has not yet been approved. [State]
• Christian Audigier is opening an Ed Hardy store in London this week, the U.K.'s first. [Guardian]
• Victoria's Secret is a popular target for professional shoplifters. Four women pepper-sprayed a sales associate in Tennessee this month in order to boost 30 pairs of underwear. [UPI]
• Due to Dubai's debt crisis, the American investors who recently and separately bought significant chunks of Barneys New York's debt, Ron Burkle and Richard Perry, might end up controlling the Dubai-owned company. If they do, they should probably convince someone there to hire a C.E.O. All the best companies have one. [Dealbook]
• Pierre Cardin, 87, was briefly hospitalized in Paris for exhibiting falling blood pressure and a slow pulse. Cardin was en route to Greece, where he was holding a fashion show. As if this were 1963, or something. [AFP]
• French eBay users are banned from selling or buying certain branded perfumes, like Christian Dior and Kenzo. A court in Paris has fined the auction site 1.7 million Euros for not enforcing the law effectively enough. [BBC]
• The market in exotic skins, like alligator, has been among the worst affected by the recession. (It's not hard to imagine why, given a pair of alligator Manolos can easily run $4,000.) The farmers who raise the gators in Louisiana, Florida, and Georgia are paid for their troubles by tanneries, who then sell the processed hides to fashion companies. But while farmers complain that prices offered by tanneries have fallen below the cost of even raising the animals, fashion companies say the reduction in the cost of finished skins has been minimal. Which major fashion brand significantly expanded into alligator tanneries during the boom years? Hermès. The other thing you should know about this article is that a man named Tommy Fletcher, whose work involves going into bayous to fight mother alligators with a pole and frequent bites when handling the live young, says that running an alligator farm is "like being married to Miss America. You get all the benefits of the hugs and kisses, but she's mighty high-maintenance." [NYTimes]

• Michaele and Tareq Salahi, the now-infamous White House party crashers, have "postponed" a planned appearance on Larry King Live in an attempt to instead make "hundreds of thousands of dollars" by selling their story to the highest bidder. [NYTimes]

• Tiger Woods reportedly told a friend he needed to "run to Zales to get a 'Kobe Special.'" (meaning: a giant ring) last Friday after having a fight with his wife. Kobe Bryant, you might remember, purchased a $4 million ring for his wife, Vanessa, after being accused of sexual assault. [TMZ]
• Rachel Uchitel, Woods' alleged mistress, is reportedly meeting with high-profile attorney Gloria Allred. [TMZ]
• Uchitel vehemently denies that she and Woods had an affair, though she notes that even rumors of such a thing might cause drama: "Despite it being completely untrue, it still must have certainly caused some problems at home - if I was his wife, I probably would have killed him. This is nothing to do with me. The claims are completely false. We have never had an affair, talked on the phone or sent any type of text, sexy or not. I'm really upset about it because I'm being portrayed as a home-wrecker, when it simply isn't true." [NewsOfTheWorld]
• Audio of Woods' 911 call after the accident may be released to the public at some point today. [TheSun]
• Rupert Everett says his friendship with Madonna was destroyed after Everett wrote about her in his book, Red Carpets and Other Banana Skins. "I think it is very affectionate, and certainly with her I was very careful to only write things that were," he says of the book, "But she felt it was an infringement of privacy." [Guardian]
• "I'm most drawn to characters who are compelling and repellant at the same time, very often right at the same moment, and who are frightening and funny all at once."-James Spader[NYTimes]
• "You know, a day doesn't go by where you don't think about him. It's always there, in every sense. But it will get better. It's not easy, but I know with time it will get easier. But it will never be easy. It's my brother."-Janet Jackson, on losing her brother, Michael. [TimesOnline]
• Alec Baldwin says he's lost his interest in acting and plans to give it up after his 30 Rock contract expires: "Movies are part of my past. It's been 30 years. I'm not young, but I have time to do something else," he says, "It's a difficult thing to say, but I believe it: I consider my entire movie career a complete failure." [ShowbizSpy]
• Heidi Klum has posted a picture of her (adorable) new daughter, Lou Samuel, on her website, writing that Lou is "beautiful beyond words and we are happy that she chose us to watch her grow over the coming years. From the moment she looked into both of our eyes it was endless love at first sight." [DailyMail]
• "Ive always been a businesswoman, because there's no way you can be in the music business and not be a businesswoman. It's always been a part of ever since I began in music, Since I was 16. I've always been very inclined to really just take control of the things that I want to see happen and to really be proactive about it so to extend and to expand into different ventures my entrepreneurial spirit has definitely been calling to me just because there's so many ways to express yourself and jewelry is such a beautiful expression, it's a self expression."-Alicia Keys on her new jewelry line. [WSJ]
• Martha Stewart was spotted at the Four Seasons on Thanksgiving, alongside Barbara Walters, Helen Gurley Brown, among others. Am I the only one whose mind is kind of blown by Martha Stewart going to a restaurant for Thanksgiving dinner? [PageSix]
• Jay-Z and Sean "Diddy" Combs rented out a $5000 a night room, complete with "padded walls and a couch, eight ounces of beluga caviar and a magnum of champagne," to just have a drink together and listen to some music. [PageSix]
• When the NYTimes pointed out that Lil' Wayne's music "is not necessarily lady-friendly," Beth Ditto replied: "No, but he's such an artist, and he's obsessed with [performing oral sex]. I think that's really cool and really girl-positive in a way. I think for hip-hop that's really rad." [NYTimes]
• In somewhat unsurprising news, Morrissey says he's thought about suicide, and that he thinks "self-destruction is honourable. I always thought it was. It's an act of great control and I understand people who do it." [Mirror]
• Brittany Murphy's husband was taken to the hospital yesterday for what Murphy believes was an asthma attack while on board an airplane. [TMZ]
• Fergie says she watched several Fellini films to get a feel for how Italian actresses carried themselves, in preparation for her role as an Italian prostitute in Nine. [DailyExpress]
• "I kind of became the poster girl for teen angst, which is a kind of crass way of saying it. But the teen roles that I was playing, they were bright and they were atypical. There was room there for that particular kind of character to mature, so I didn't face a great amount of resistance in that respect. But I think everybody has to fight to become a diverse artist because people are inclined to associate you with one thing or are a little unnerved by your daring to do something."-Claire Danes, on her role in My So-Called Life [WashingtonPost]
• Cindy Crawford admits that she used to receive Botox injections, "but I haven't done Botox for ten years. And I didn't do collagen, I don't think." [DailyMail]
• Though Toni Braxton's marriage of 8 years ended just days after she kissed Trey Songz onstage at the 2009 Soul Train Awards as part of a performance, Braxton claims the two are in no way related. [E!]
• Taylor Lautner was a bit shocked when Jamie Foxx approached him on the set of Lopez Tonight to ask for an autograph: "All of a sudden I hear this deep voice behind me: 'Taylor, Taylor!' .... And this guy walks up to me and he goes 'Hey ... my daughter is a huge fan, and I'm a huge fan is there any way I can get a picture with you. I'm Jamie Foxx.' I was like, 'Are you kidding me? Can I get a picture with you?'"[People]
• Interesting news for our SNL live thread crew: both James Franco and Taylor Lautner are set to host Saturday Night Live this December. Thoughts? [EW]
• When asked about Kate Moss' recent comments on how "nothing tastes as good as thin feels," Rihanna replied: "I can't believe she said. That is SO crazy. I love food because I'm from Barbados. If I was a catwalk model I'd be considered fat which I know is ridiculous." However: "I don't think people should discriminate against thicker models OR skinny models. If you're size zero you shouldn't be banned from the runway." [NewsOfTheWorld]
• "I don't care how talented you are: doing things like that is not nice. So fuck off ... Kanye just wants attention. As simple as that. He was like it before his mum died. So let's not make excuses. It's not fair to judge other people and to try to destroy their careers. Come on! Just stop it. Be nice!"-Joss Stone, who also thinks Russell Brand is "a disgusting pig. Mean, mean, mean." [Independent]

• Britney Spears fans in Perth, Australia, are demanding their money back after Spears disappointed them by lip-synching at her concerts. In related news, Britney Spears fans in Perth, Australia have apparently been on Mars since approximately 1997. [SundayTelegraph]

• A former high-ranking Scientologist claims that Tom Cruise once offered to "‘beat the living [bleep]' out of" three Scientology officials who were not receiving tough enough treatment from Scientology "managers" while incarcerated in a "prisonlike facility on the compound." According to Marty Rathburn the ex-Scientologist making these claims: "In response, the mob rushed at the three targeted gentlemen. Fists flew and feet kicked into the three. They continued to pound until … each had two black eyes." [NYDN]
• Oh dear: Carrie Prejean's mother was reportedly in the room when Prejean's "solo sex tape" was shown to the former beauty queen by Miss California USA lawyers. [TMZ]
• Morrissey, who recently returned to the stage after collapsing due to illness a few weeks ago, left a concert early last night after being hit in the head by a bottle. "If there's ever a singer who would not take kindly to a bottle being thrown at him, it's Morrissey," one fan said. [Mirror]
• Taylor Lautner says the paparazzi can decide for themselves if he and Taylor Swift are an item or not: "The very funny thing is that all of you have seen every single move I make, so I guess I can leave that up to you to decide." [USMagazine]
• Ugh: Michael Lohan attempted to get $100,000 dollars for his private tapes of his daughter, Lindsay crying on the telephone, but eventually settled for exposure instead, according to a source :"Michael initially asked for a large fee — six figures — for the tapes of Lindsay and Dina, but he didn't get any takers. Radar Online also refused to pay for the tapes, so in the end he agreed to a deal to release the recordings for no fee, but giving him the exposure he needs with a paid interview." Can't we just pay him to go away, instead? [PageSix]
• Meanwhile, Lohan is set to testify against former BFF Jon Gosselin in TLC's breach of contract lawsuit. [Radar]
• A Christmas Carol led the Friday box office this week, but the true success story of the weekend were the record-breaking numbers brought in by Precious, which took in $585,000 from just 18 theaters; an average of $32,500 per screen. [EW]
• if you want to go on tour with Britney Spears, you have keep it clean; Spears reportedly has told staff members that they might be subjected to random drug testing. "Britney's rule is clear – zero tolerance," says a source, "If you don't comply, you don't tour. We're not even allowed to have a beer or glass of wine with a meal, even on days off." [DailyExpress]
• Ashlee Simpson, who already played Chicago's Roxie Hart on the London stage, may reprise the role on Broadway. [OK]
• Television medium Derek Acorah claims that in a seance with Michael Jackson, the late singer told him he was upset that he hadn't been buried alongside Marilyn Monroe. [TheSun]
• Want to buy a strand of Elvis Presley's hair? Well now you can, I guess, if you're willing to bid at least $250 at an upcoming action. [AP]
• A new actor "auditing" system set up by the UK Film Council has concluded that Kate Winslet is worth approximately £60 million to the British economy. [Telegraph]
• In other cash related news, Nicole Kidman is owed a combined $16,673.09 in cash from NBC Universal and the Wells Fargo bank. [TMZ]
• Rihanna refused a $10,000 bottle of champagne at a Vegas nightclub because she wasn't familiar with Jets player Braylon Edwards and his teammates, who sent it to her. [PageSix]
• Andre Agassi says he was terrified that his wig would fly off during the 1990 French Open (I still can't believe it was a wig. A wig!), and that his wig "scared the heck out of me. I kept envisioning what this would be like if my hair just flew off and landed. Like, what would I do? Would I go over and kill it, or would I — would I quickly put it back on?" [PageSix]
• Kate Moss "maintains her hair herself these days" after falling out with stylist James Brown. [DailyMail]
• Russell Brand and Katy Perry are going strong at seven weeks: "The pair could not keep the smiles off their faces as they walked hand-in-hand around the sophisticated London neighbourhood." [DailyMail]
• Kate Hudson says she had to quit smoking because "it was starting to drive me crazy! I didn't like the way the car smelt, or my hair and clothes. It takes you away from the family and the things you're doing. You don't realize it at the time. Then when you're done, you go, ‘Wow, I do so much more in a day – including eat.'" [ShowbizSpy]
• Mad Max: Fury Road, the third film in the Mad Max series, will begin shooting in Australia next year with British actor Tom Hardy in the lead role. [DailyExpress]
• Ray Davies says he's considering a reality show to find cast members for his upcoming musical, Come Dancing, which is based on the history of his band, The Kinks. [DailyExpress]
• "He's a terrific director. You never know what you're getting into with any director, but he's been in this business for so long that he really know what he's doing and he's a great director. All of us enjoyed working with him so much." -Blake Lively on working for Ben Affleck. [JustJared]
• "Coming from being molested as a child, when [director Lee Daniels] said, 'I need you to be this monster,' well [I] knew who that monster was." -Mo'Nique on her role in Precious. [People]
• "You might think I'd bring up Joe [Jonas], that guy who broke up with me on the phone, but I'm not gonna mention him in my monologue. Hey Joe, I'm doing real well. Tonight, I'm hosting SNL but I'm not gonna brag about that in my monologue. La la la. Ha ha ha. La la la."-Taylor Swift, in her SNL monologue, obviously. [JustJared]
• The teen burglars who ransacked the homes of Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Orlando Bloom, among others, apparently got into the homes simply by walking through unlocked front doors. [People]
• "It is a very odd feeling to know that everything you say and do is going to be examined by people. I made the decision last year to keep my private life to myself. I can't do anything about all the speculation. I know what is true and that is all that matters."-Kristen Stewart [ShowbizSpy]
• "I said at the beginning that it was about change, and things did change in the '60s. But from the beginning of the series, I wanted there to be stakes to the fact that [Don] behaved the way he [did]. That's what you're seeing enacted right now: the irony of the fact that he came clean to Betty and his worst fear was that she wouldn't love him anymore. And there you are."-Matthew Weiner on tonight's Mad Men season finale. [NYMag]

• Did Rosie O'Donnell try to romance Angelina Jolie? She told Howard Stern on his radio show:

"We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that… There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through. I was a little afraid of Angelina. She's scary in a sexual kind of way." [Gatecrasher]

• Charlize Theron's nickname is Ass-nuts. No, really. [Mirror]
• Last week, Lil' Wayne pleaded guilty to possessing a .40-caliber semi-automatic cops found in a Louis Vuitton bag on his tour bus. He's focusing on partying before he gets sentenced in February — when he's expected to get a year in jail. [Page Six]
• Lindsay Lohan has moved out of her Hollywood Hills house, which was broken into in August. She's now in a West Hollywood condo. Adjust accordingly. [Page Six]
• On his album cover, Adam "Glambert" Lambert reminds me of Debbie Gibson or Belinda Carlisle. [The Life Files]
• Since her TV career is iffy, Kate Gosselin has renewed her nursing license — she used to be a labor and delivery nurse at The Reading Hospital and Medical Center in Pennsylvania. It's good to have a back-up plan! Imagine having contractions and then seeing her in the delivery room? [RadarOnline]
• Yikes: Matthew Broderick's new play was previewing Monday night, but he wasn't prepared. He had to stop the play to ask for his lines 10 times during the first act alone. [Gatecrasher]
• Critics cannot stop gushing about Carey Mulligan, earning her "It Girl" status. She says: "It Girl is such a weird term,… It implies I go to parties and drink champagne and um… it's weird." [CNN]
• The Church of Scientology is pissed Crash director Paul Haggis claims the religion is anti-gay. Tommy Davis, a spokesperson for Scientology, says: "The church supports civil rights for everybody, regardless of sexual orientation, race, color or creed. We are a minority, too; we understand what it's like to be persecuted, so to the extent that anything prohibits or inhibits on civil rights, we don't agree with it." So why was the Church's name of a list of churches which supported Prop 8? Davis says that was an error. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Take a deep breath: The Jonas Brothers are not, repeat NOT breaking up. It's true that Nick Jonas has formed a band called Nick Jonas & The Administration, but he says: "We've said from the beginning of our career as the Jonas Brothers that anything we do outside of the group is a side project because you can't break up brothers… My brothers are my biggest supporters." [People]
• Secrets from Sex And The City 2: The Reckoning Of The Boogaloo! It's bigger! But not as long as the first! The cast has been shooting all night! With huge crowds involving hundreds of people! Please God let it be a prison dance scene. [The Sun]
• In Lily Allen's new video, she plays a woman obsessed with Elton John. As you may recall, the two had a "feud" last year when she called him an old drunk (I'm paraphrasing) and he told her he could snort her under the table. [News.com.au]
• Richard Gere is in talks to star on the UK show Strictly Dancing. He's done ballroom before — in Shall We Dance, with Jennifer Lopez. Not that I've seen it. [The Sun]
• Andre Agassi did meth in the '90s and then lied when he failed a drug test. [NY Post]
• Ryan Seacrest is producing a show called The Bank Of Hollywood, in which contestants pitch money-making ideas to business leaders. Sean Patterson, president of Wilhelmina models (you've seen him on ANTM) will be the main judge. [Page Six]
• Dr. Conrad Murray is blaming Michael Jackson on his inability to pay child support; the DA is calling bullshit on that. [TMZ]
• Dr. Arnold Klein has filed a creditors claim against the Michael Jackson estate, claiming he's owed $48,522.89 for services performed between March 23 2009 through June 22 2009 — just three days before Jackson's death. The services include Botox, acne surgery, Latisse, Restylane, and "nutritic lips." [TMZ]
• One of the services Dr. Klein provided is listed as "I.M. injection. A source says says "I.M. Injection" is commonly used as billing code for the narcotic Demerol. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson was in negotiations to buy a $38 million Bel Air mansion right before he died; his kids had seen the house and loved it. [TMZ]
• U2 will play a free concert in Berlin — in front of the Brandenburg Gate — to celebrate 20 years since the fall of the Berlin wall. [USA Today]
• Idris Elba was on The Office for seven episodes, and is continuing to have a relationship with NBC: He will be the executive producer of an legal drama about a vigilante lawyer who uses "any means necessary." Malcom X, Attorney At Law? [Reuters]
• Spotted: Jane Lynch — aka Glee's Sue Sylvester — making out with a "gal pal" in NYC. [Page Six]
• Morrissey returned to the stage after collapsing at his last show and made jokes about feeling ill. [Mirror]
• Simon Cowell recommended that Gordon Ramsey get some cosmetic surgery. So he did. [NY Post]
• Lisa Niemi, Patrick Swayze's widow, spoke at a women's conference on grief yesterday, saying: "When the grief takes you, it's like your body is not your own. I'm just going with the flow. I know I have to go through it. I've spent two thirds of my life with him. ... My regret is that I didn't tell him that I loved him enough over that entire 34 years. I am so grateful for what I had and my connection to him, and part of me believes that I will see him again… and I'm just going to have to go on until then." [People]
• Late Late Show host Craig Ferguson had to finish taping his show by flashlight last night when high winds knocked out the power at a CBS studio. That's what they call dark comedy, ba dum bum. [AP]
• Precious star Gabourey Sidibe is in talks to appear in a Showtime series called The C Word, in which Laura Linney stars as a terminal cancer patient. Gabby would have a guest spot as a teen with a bad attitude. [Variety]
• At the link, Alicia Silverstone talks about her fave recipe, restaurant, cookbook and food destination. [The Daily Beast]
• Corey Feldman's wife has filed for divorce. They've been married seven years and have a five-year-old son together. He'll be expected to pay attorney fees and spousal support, so maybe we'll get Lost Boys 2: The Frog Brothers' Revenge. [TMZ]
• Magician David Copperfield's sexual assault lawsuit has been delayed for six months. [AP]
• As a kid, I loved Miami Vice, so it's cool to hear Philip Michael Thomas is out there doing something, even if it's hosting a fundraiser for Republican Whilly Bermudez's campaign for the Florida legislature. I guess. [UPI]
• Michael Madsen: Facing eviction. [TMZ]
• "'I Google all day long, because I'm an information freak. I'm always looking for information about something. I do believe that Google was invented for me personally. 'As for Googling myself, I did that once but I gave up. There were seven and a half million sites, so I went 'whoops.'" — Michael Caine. [Telegraph]
• "I won't even see scary movies. I've been in them, and then I've been like, 'Whoa, this is way too scary for me.' I guess I've held on to some of those little childhood moments - when you're in the dark and there's a rattle outside and you're thinking there's a monster under your bed." — Josh Lucas. [Gatecrasher]

• Jennifer Aniston has agreed to do a weekly talk show for Oprah's new cable channel, OWN. A source says:

"She is doing this for one reason only; she absolutely wants to do it.." [NY Post]

• Madonna has arrived in Malawi to visit the girls school she is building there; a groundbreaking ceremony takes place today. [AP]
• "Lindsay Lohan has a new addiction." Shopping! Specifically: Shoes. [Gatecrasher]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin's lawyers will be in court today regarding the money missing from their joint bank account. [People]
• On November 19, Rihanna will perform in a very special location: On the Oasis of the Seas, the world's largest cruise ship, operated by Royal Caribbean. Wonder if she'll sing, "Love… Exciting and new... come aboard… We're expecting you…" [USA Today]
• Courtney Love has moved to New York because her home in Malibu has been the target of raids by people claiming to be LAPD. She says: "I tried to be charming. But one of the guys points a gun at me. My daughter, Frances, ran and hid under the house." And! "My biggest problem is that I'm Courtney Love." [NY Daily News]
• Lady Gaga's dad had heart surgery on Thursday, and she's been spending time at the hospital giving him footrubs and so on. She Tweeted: "He's my hero." [Daily Express]
• Lady Gaga is a sad little Harlequin in French Vogue. [The Life Files]
• Ivanka Trump married New York Observer publisher Jared Kushner over the weekend; pic at the link. [NY Post]
• Nick Prugo, the 18-year-old suspected of stealing from Lindsay Lohan and Audrina Patridge, had his computer seized, and it shows Google searches like "can a stolen mac be traced" and "if i register a mac can it be tracked." In addition, the computer was full of searches for the addresses of a number of celebrities whose houses were burglarized and photographs of jewelry worn by those celebs. [TMZ]
• Nick Prugo's computer also had the address of Dr. 90210 (Dr. Rey), though his home was not broken into. [TMZ]
• A source says that Nick Prugo wore Paris Hilton's heels: "He could fit into her shoes… He put them on and got into a dance and said, 'Don't I look good?'" Also, the "ring leader" of this teen thief gang is Rachel Lee, 18; she's described as a kleptomaniac. [NY Post]
• Lawyers for Jennifer Lopez have sent a cease and desist letter to shut down production of a movie about her life with her first husband, waiter and model Ojani Noa. He's claiming How I Married Jennifer Lopez: The J-lo and and Ojani Noa Story is a mockumentary and "100% parody." [The Wrap]
• Emily Blunt will wear custom John Galliano when she marries John Krasinski , in case you weren't already ridiculously jealous. [Gatecrasher]
• Sean Penn is in Cuba to interview Fidel Castro for Vanity Fair. No, really. [AFP]
• Recently divorced Amy Winehouse and Blake Formerly Incarcerated have both changed their Facebook status back to married. [Telegraph]
• Morrissey collapsed on stage and was rushed to the hospital on Sunday; he's since been discharged. [Independent]
• Susan Boyle was at a soccer match on Thursday, waving a scarf over her head, and everyone saw that her pants were undone. [MSNBC Scoop]
• A song in True Blood sparked Stephen Moyer's marriage proposal to Anna Paquin. [People]
• Jackie Jackson saw his brother Michael Jackson's movie, This Is It. He says the film is "truly riveting" and: "We get a glimpse of a true genius at work." [TMZ]
• Here's a partial set list of the songs in the Michael Jackson movie. [NY Post]
• Seventy unreleased songs created by Michael Jackson after 2004 are up for grabs; Sony Music and Universal Music may bid against each other. [NY Post]
• The man who is accused of punching Leona Lewis in the face has been sanctioned under the Mental Health Act and is not fit to go to court. [The Sun]
• In the play After Miss Julie, Sienna Miller grabs the scrotum of Jonny Lee Miller. Or at least appears to. She reveals her acting secret at the link. She also admits that ex flings Jude Law and Daniel Craig — who are also on Broadway right now — have not yet come to see her play. [NY Daily News]
• By the by, Jude Law thinks it's okay to smoke in NYC bars. [Page Six]
• As for Samantha Burke, she sold baby pix and an interview about her fling with Jude Law to a Brit mag for about $300,000. [Gatecrasher]
• In this interview, Carrie Fisher touches on bipolar disorder, doing acid, Laurence Olivier, Cary Grant, and Agnes Of God. She also pulls out her iPhone and watches her audition tape for Star Wars. [The Daily Beast]
• Shauna Sand's sex tape should be out any day now, since a handwriting expert proved that she had, in fact, signed off on it. [TMZ]
• Interesting: Paul Haggis, the Oscar-winning writer-director whose credits include Crash, Million Dollar Baby and Letters From Iwo Jima, has left the Church of Scientology. In a letter, he writes that the Church's "public sponsorship of Proposition 8, a hate-filled legislation that succeeded in taking away the civil rights of gay and
  lesbian citizens of California – rights that were granted them by the
  Supreme Court of our state – shames us." [Showbiz 411]
• Patrick Swayze's widow, Lisa Niemi, will speak publicly for the first time tomorrow at a women's conference in Long Beach, CA on a panel on loss and grieving with Elizabeth Edwards and actress Susan St. James, both of whom lost children in accidents. [NY Post]
• A man named Robert George says Glee hates women. [NY Post]
• "Fatboy Slim was 'too drunk' to have a baby." [Daily Express]
• Nadya "Octomom" Suleman's Halloween costume is horrifying, but maybe not in the way you think. [NY Post]
• Andrew Lloyd Webber has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. His rep says he is "now undergoing treatment and expects to be fully back at work before the end of the year." [AP]
• James Gandolfini and Al Sharpton seem to be having a bromance. [Page Six]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Jenna Elfman talks about how her second pregnancy is harder than her first. [E!]
• In a random online poll, Twilight's Edward Cullen has been named favorite vampire. [Mirror]
• A Run-DMC musical on Broadway? It's tricky. [Gatecrasher]
• "[I was] freaking out. Dying inside. But then when the towel dropped I was like, 'fuck that.' You just have to relax, and it's just like you're taking a shower at your house. There is no one around, you are taking a shower, it's very simple. I literally took a shower the way I take a shower." — Gilles Marini, on his Sex And The City nude scene. [BlackBook]
• "I was still showing up to work but I wasn't nearly as good as I should have been. Jon and the guys said, 'Hey, you've gotta take care of this and you've gotta take care of this now.'" — Richie Sambora, on his Bon Jovi bandmates staging an intervention and urging him to enter rehab. [Daily Express]
• Q: If you could have been born in a different century, which would it be?
  A: "Roman times. You never had to leave the couch." — Ozzy Osbourne. [Telegraph]
• "The nude scenes never felt magical. They felt like a pain in the arse." — Eric Bana on The Time Traveler's Wife. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "We didn't have trailers. That's unheard of. After Season 2, for two seasons we had a communal trailer that we all shared — me, Larry [David], Jeff [Garlin], Cheryl [Hines], any of the guests stars, we were all in the same trailer. Changing together, using the same bathroom. You think those Sex and the City girls didn't have trailers from day one? Oh yes they did!" — Susie Essman on the early days of Curb Your Enthusiasm. [Page Six]
• "I remember thinking, 'I don't know if I can do radio.' I never even listen to it. [But] There's no censorship. That's why I said yes. I couldn't imagine doing a show where I'd once again have to answer to corporate interests." — Rosie O'Donnell, on her new radio show, which she can do from home. She adds: "I don't even have a bra on! That's the best part of this job." [USA Today]
• "I take pride in saying I'm a fat girl, fabulous and thick, fluffy and tender, full and tasty. Don't it just make you happy to say that? Big from birth. Nine pounds, 13 ounces. They told my mother it was baby fat and I would grow out of it. At 41 years old, I am now 217 pounds. I didn't grow out of it. I grew into it… Am I wrong for not saying that beauty has to be blonde hair and blue eyes and a size zero? Now, that is beautiful. But beauty is also black with nappy hair, and it could be a size 52. Beauty comes in everything. It's what your eyes perceive to be beautiful. I just don't choose to buy into the foolishness of what this country says we deem is beauty. Who are you?" — Mo'Nique, who also talks about losing weight for her health, at the link. [CBS News]

• Adam Lambert put an end to the speculation about his sexuality by going out to a nightclub last night with his boyfriend Drake LaBry. The two held hands and occasionally kissed.

• "When people saw Adam walk in all heads turned in his direction," said a source. "And it was obvious Adam was so proud to be there with Drake. So proud. As people were coming over to meet the singer Adam made a point to turn to Drake and introduce him to the crowd as his boyfriend." [Star]
• Michael Jackson told the promoter who is planning to sue him to perform in a concert with Janet Jackson and the Jackson 5 that he will do the concert in 2010. However, the promoter says he doesn't trust Jackson's word and he'll still sue unless he signs a contract. [TMZ]
• Diversity, the dance group that beat Susan Boyle, has already been booked by Kanye West to performat the Wireless Festival at London's Hyde Park in July, and it's rumored the Michael Jackson wants to work with them. [The Sun]
• Seven out of 10 Brits think Susan Boyle shouldn't have been allowed to appear on Britain's Got Talent according to a survey of 3,000 people. The article notes that she has "learning difficulties," and that people feel contestants on reality shows should undergo psychological testing before competing. [The Telegraph]
• At the trial yesterday of Tiny Virginia Makopo, the former matron of Oprah's school for girls, a teacher testified that Makopo forced one of the girls to watch pornography. [The Daily Mail]
• Here's some clips of Spencer and Heidi Pratt on the first episode of I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here complaining that they're big celebrities, and they want NBC executives to get them out of there. It's may be fake drama for the cameras. Bonus: At the end of the clip Heidi eats a rat's tail. [TMZ]
• Or maybe it's not so fake. After Spencer and Heidi Pratt quit and rejoined the show several times during the first episode, NBC flew in Daniel Baldwin to join his brother Stephen Baldwin, who is already in the jungle, and Holly Montag, Heidi's sister. [People]
• Last night Lauren Conrad's last episode of The Hills aired. She wrote on her blog: It was a bittersweet night for me. A part of me is sad to say goodbye to something that has been such a prominent part of my life, but I know that it was time and I am very happy with my decision," adding, "From what I've heard the next season will not disappoint." [Perez Hilton]
• Last night's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 showed Kate Gosselin celebrating her birthday with the kids while Jon Gosselin was in Utah with friends for a few days. Now a source says that his girlfriend Deanna Hummel was in Utah with him too. In other news, TLC has ordered 40 more episodes of the show and posted an ad on Craigslist looking for more families with multiples who want to appear on TLC. [The L.A. Times]
• The trophy Shawn Johnson won on Dancing With the Stars is in peices. "We had to take them to New York and they shipped them back and when they opened the box, they were in pieces," said her dancing partner Mark Ballas. "They're fixing them." [E!]
• 50 Cent said in court today that he wouldn't have bought Mike Tyson's mansion if he knew it needed millions in renovations. He's suing BVH Integrated Services, which he hired to inspect the home for him. They estimated it needed $500,000 in repairs, but so far 50 Cent has spent $6 million. [Associated Press]
• 50 Cent will star in the police corruption drama Caught in the Crossfire with Chris Klein and Adam Rodriquez. [Variety]
• After having dinner together at Tom Hanks' house, Jennifer Aniston invited Paul McCartney over to her home for lunch. [The Sun]
• Brandy has reached a settlement with the children of the woman who died in her 2006 car crash. Awatef Aboudihaj's two kids will receive $300,000 each. Her husband rejected Brandy's settlement offer in February. [TMZ]
• Though some have claimed Robert Pattinson has airbrushed-on abs in New Moon, costar Kellan Lutz says he's been training with fellow star Taylor Lautner. "Taylor been training Rob a lot, and that's why he's got such ripped abs. Rob's been working hard. He's trying to be the best he can be," says Lutz. [The Daily Express]
• Another day, another Robert Pattinson-Kristen Stewart rumor. A source says, "Robert and Kristen spent a lot of alone time together when they filmed the first Twilight movie - they'd stay up most of the night talking, laughing, playing music. Although [Robert] knew Kristen had a boyfriend, he made no secret of the fact that he was crazy about her." [Perez Hilton]
• The Real Housewives of New Jersey werer on the fourth hour of the Today show this morning. Danielle Staub alluded to the allegations that she was involved ina kidnapping and extortion plot saying, "I can just say, it's out there and it will be addressed. And I will definitely touch on all the subjects that are crucially in need of touching on at the time when the time is right." Also, Jacqueline Laurita couldn't be on the show because she's about to give birth to her third child and Teresa Giudice is pregnant. [People]
• Zac Efron will make a cameo on Entourage. Here's some scintillating gossip from the Beverly Hills Niketown where he was filming: "He was filming a scene and talking on his cell phone," says one Niketown employee. "None of the other Entourage cast was here. He was really nice." [E!]
• Rashida Jones and Obama speechwriter Jon Favreau have been seen out together many times this past week, fueling rumors that they are dating. [Politico]
• Jamie Kennedy showed up for an interview on the Johnjay & Rich radio show yesterday with girlfriend Jennifer Love Hewitt in tow and she did most of the talking. She said he'd better propose to her by next year and talked about Carrie Underwood snubbing her. You can listen to it here: [Perez Hilton]
• When talking to a gossip columnist, Vanessa Minnillo pointed to a 5-carat ring on her middle finger and said, "It will be 10 carats when it moves to the fourth finger!" as a not-so-subtle hint to Nick Lachey. [People]
• Michael Hall, husband of Michael Caine's daughter Natasha, is being sued by a former business associate who says he didn't pay him his cut of a large property deal. [The Daily Express]
• Trent Reznor says his former protégé Marilyn Manson is "a malicious guy and will step on anybody's face to succeed and cross any line of decency. Seeing him now, drugs and alcohol now rule his life and he's become a dopey clown." [Rolling Stone]
• Stephen Dorff is reportedly dating his publicist. [The Daily Express]
• Joan Rivers is selling the Upper East Side penthouse she bought 20 years ago for $25 million. You can check out pictures of her home, which looks like it was modeled after Versailles, at the link. [New York Magazine]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen went out together last night to celebrate a friend's birthday. An onlooker says, "They danced non-stop with their friends and playfully took photos of each other... They loved the music the deejay was spinning." [People]
• Pink Floyd co-founder Roger Waters visited a Palestinian refugee camp next to Israel's West Bank wall today. he said he hopes that "this thing, this awful thing, is destroyed soon." [Yahoo]
• Madonna will perform in Tel Aviv on September 1 for the last stop on her Sticky and Sweet tour. Her website says she's "very excited about returning to Israel for my last and final show." [USA Today]
• It seems Morrissey has recovered from his undisclosed illness. He's rescheduled four cancelled concerts for later this summer. [The Independent]
• Exene Cervenka of the punk band X, co-lead vocalist has revealed that she has Multiple Sclerosis. "After some months of not feeling 100% healthy, I recently had some medical tests run and the prognosis is that I am suffering from Multiple Sclerosis," Cervenka said. "Apparently, it has been affecting me for quite some time." [Rolling Stone]
• Diane Kruger is considering moving to Vancouver to be closer to Joshua Jackson. "My boyfriend's show [Fringe] is being transferred there," says Kruger. "He's from there. I'm going up this weekend but to see what it's like." But, she says, "it doesn't matter where we're going to live. We have no attachments anywhere. Home is where the other person is and that's really great. I could live anywhere as long as he's there." [The Telegraph]
• When Sports Illustrated reporter Dan Patrick asked Danica Patrick about taking performance enhancing drugs, she made some innocuous joke about it not being cheating if you don't get caught. This caused a huge controversy in the racing community and now she's apologized saying, "The whole interview with Dan [Patrick], and every other interview I've ever done with Dan, the questioning comes from left field. It was just a joke and I really apologize if it came across any other way. ... It was a bad joke. There is a lot of sensitivity in our culture about [performance-enhancing drugs]. With all the baseball stuff, I've followed it and this is a real problem. It's a shame kids think they have to do this to get ahead. It's very dangerous. ... It's absolutely not what I'm about. I've learned my lesson on what I should be joking about." [Sports Illustrated]
• When asked if she loves being pregnant with twins, Molly Ringwald said, "No. I don't hate it, though. There is something wonderful about it." She added, "I find it difficult to be restricted in my movements and to feel vulnerable all the time. I am used to feeling very strong and active." [People]
• "I never hook up," says Katy Perry, "If I really like a person, then I'll go on a date. But you'll never catch me just randomly making out with someone. I'm not casual at all. I've always been into making a connection with someone. That's what it's all about for me. Besides, it's sexier to be mysterious and not give it away." [People]
• Beth Ditto of The Gossip says she's willing to start a "band feud" with Katy Perry. She explains, "['I Kissed A Girl'] is a] boner dyke anthem for straight girls who like to turn guys on by making out or, like, faking gay. I hate Katy Perry! She's offensive to gay culture, I'm so offended. She's just riding on the backs of our culture without having to pay any of the dues and not being actually lesbian or anything at all." [The Daily Express]
• Nia Vardalos says: "In 2004 I came to the end of a 10-year infertility battle that knocked me over. So I decided to just quietly withdraw and write, and I enjoyed it... Now having come through it, I highly recommend it. I think when you let go and try and stop making things happen, you come out of it quite invigorated," Vardalos told Reuters. [Reuters]
• Michael Sheen, who played Tony Blair in The Queen received an OBE from the real queen for his service to drama, even though Queen Elizabeth probably isn't familiar with his work. He said, "I heard through a fairly reliable source that there was an agreement she was not going to watch the film and Mr. Blair wasn't going to watch the film either." [The Star]

• Chris Brown has publicly addressed the Rihanna assault for the first time in a short YouTube video. He says he's working on a new album, Grafitti, and he'll release a new single this summer. He says: "Everybody that's haters, they've just been haters..."

• "All my real fans, I love y'all. I ain't a monster." [TMZ]
• Kanye West has released the music video for his song "Paranoid," which stars Rihanna. [Perez Hilton]
• Slumdog Millionaire director Danny Boyle and producer Christian Colson flew to Mumbai after seeing pictures of Azharuddin Ismail and Rubina Ali picking through the debris of their demolished homes. Boyle said a home had been bought for Ismail, and that they would soon buy one for Ali. Boyle said, "We've been trying for a long time to move them into legal accommodation." Ali's father, Rafiq Quereshi, countered, "It has been five to six months. Everything is available in Mumbai if you have the money. If you really want to get us a house, you can get us a house in two days." [Reuters, E!]
• Kate Gosselin's estranged brother Kevin Kreider, who has given interviews to numerous media outlets in the past few weeks, has reportedly been offering to talk about what it's like behind the scenes at Jon and Kate Plus 8 for $30,000. It's not clear which news outlets paid him, but he insists he and his wife Jodi Kreider are, "speaking out now because we want to be the voice of our nieces and nephews... We're seeing it turn tide, that they're being viewed as a commodity." [E!]
• Susan Boyle supposedly watched fellow Britain's Got Talent finalist Shaheen Jafargholi perform on a TV at a London hotel bar, and when one of the judges complimented the 12-year-old, Boyle yelled "fuck off" and waved two fingers (a dirty gesture in the UK) at the screen. A rep for the show said, "As far as we are aware Susan was not at the bar during Shaheen's performance. She started watching the show there but left early and watched some of the acts in her room as she was being asked for interviews in the bar by journalists." [Newser]
• A representative for Susan Boyle said, "Susan was in the bar with friends but was getting hassled by a journalist. The four of them left before Shaheen's live performance to watch it in the room instead." [The Daily Mail]
• American Idol scandal: AT&T provided free phones so fans could text message their votes at two Arkansas parties supporting winner Kris Allen in Arkansas. They even showed people how to "power text," which lets you send 10 votes at a time and is forbidden in the show's rules. AT&T says they were invited to parties organized by locals, but no free texting services were offered to Adam Lambert supporters. [Perez Hilton]
• Terri Seymour has requested a restraining order from Janice Thibodeaux, the woman who attacked her outside the American Idol finale last week. She says, Thibodeaux, "attacked [her] from behind, putting her into a headlock, wrenching her neck and choking her with the full force of her 200 pound frame," and could have killed her if the cops hadn't intervened. [TMZ]
• Suri Cruise will only eat with chop sticks. "Suri doesn't like to eat with anything else," says a source. During a recent visit to Le Pain Quotidien, "She wouldn't touch her sandwich and pastries without them!" [Star]
• Justin Gaston says he doesn't live with girlfriend Miley Cyrus, but in an apartment in North Hollywood with two roommates. But he may wish he lived with the Cyrus clan. When asked to describe his dream life Gaston says, "[I'd be] one of those little lapdogs that gets petted all day... You know, they wake up, get fed, get attention. I like attention. I'd like to be one of those little dogs. Is that weird?" [People]
• Michael Lohan was arrested last month because his former fiancee Erin Muller says he threatened to killer her when she tried to end their relationship in March. Lohan appeared at court on Long Island yesterday, but fled when he saw members of the media. He's due in court today because he has been charged with falling behind in child support payments. [The Daily Express]
• Mel Gibson's pregnant girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, already has an 11-year-old son from her relationship with Timothy Dalton. "It [seems] very important to Oksana that Mel and her son bond," says a source. "Mel is fun to be around and great with kids." [People]
• A fan made it past security backstage at Beyonce's concert in London and tried to speak to Beyonce. A source says, "He cried out her name with his arms outstretched before security bundled him back out again. He said he wanted to see Jay-Z to give him a demo tape." [The London Paper]
• Melissa Joan Hart is on the new cover of People in a bikini because she lost 42 pounds after having a baby. Plus, dieting to be on the cover of the mag is pretty much the only career move former teen stars have left. She says, "Everyone still thinks I'm huge, but I'm not anymore!" [People]
• Jennie Garth has revealed that she has a leaky valve in her heart, which was discovered seven years ago. "A lot of people have it," she explains. "They don't know they have it ... [It] leaks blood." She says that sometimes she can feel it too. "It sort of flutters open and shut sort of a thing ... It's weird because sometimes when I'm resting I can feel a little weird fluttering." It may get more complicated in the future, but for now it is not dangerous. [People]
• Andy Garcia's brother-in-law has been sentenced to 15 years in prison. Ramon Puentes Jr. was convicted in the Fuel Farm Case, a large scheme to siphon jet fuel from the Miami Airport's fuel depot. Garcia and Puentes' wives are sisters. [UPI]
• Justin Long says Alison Lohman, his Drag Me To Hell co-star got "banged up really bad," while filming the movie. He said: "I have never seen an actress work so hard and she would always have a different bruise, it was like the bruise of the day, 'What's on the menu today?' and she would be like 'check this out, it looks like Uzbekistan and I don't know how I got it.'" [The Star]
• The State's lost comedy album has surfaced online. "We would love to do more," said David Wain, who was a member of the comedy group. "The State is an 11-headed beast though. Getting anything to happen requires divine miracles - just in terms of scheduling and logistics." [Rolling Stone]
• Lauren Conrad says she's looking forward to living "a little more unplanned," when she leaves The Hills. She says, "It's hard to look at somebody who used to be your best friend and say, 'We can't be friends. Too much has happened... I'm trying to move on, but they won't let me. And when someone keeps pushing you into the same position, well…you get upset." [ONTD]
• Amy Winehouse won't return to London unless she can find a St. Lucian chef to move to the UK and cook for her. A friend said Amy told her, "there's no way she'll come back unless she can find a chef she likes and who is prepared to move country. She really doesn't look after herself when she is back in London, and is always skipping meals." [This Is London]
• Mackenzie Phillips, who entered rehab for the 10th time in September 2008, will appear on the third season of Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew as a "sober coach." As you may recall, last season's sober coach was Gary Busey. [TMZ]
• Morrissey has called off yet another London concert. His rep said: "Morrissey is on continued doctor's orders not to sing, to ensure a complete recuperation." [The Mirror]
• Katie Price already had estranged husband Peter Andre's things put into storage, and today a locksmith's van was spotted outside their home. [The Sun]
• Bethenny Frankel of The Real Housewives of New York is blogging each week about The Real Housewives of New Jersey. She says Teresa, "is clearly living vicariously through her daughter." Jacqueline's daughter is spoiled and "her mother is a sweet doormat who doesn't seem to want to take a position on anything." As for Dina, she says she's, "willing to bet she's had some minor work done on that pretty face of hers." Is Bethenny not aware that she'll definitely have to meet these women, or that they could be at her front door in about an hour? [E!]
• "Cameron Diaz cuts a lonely figure as she takes a solitary swim in Hawaii." Poor Cam is so lonely since she broke up with Paul Sculfor. Jennifer Aniston is probably free to hang out with her, as she's just been sitting around thinking about how much she misses Brad Pitt for the past few years. [The Daily Mail]
• Phylicia Rashad plays matriarch Violet WestonWell in the play August: Osage County. When asked why she plays so many matriarchs, she said: "Consider what you're asking. How many women in the world are matriarchs? Many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many. It's not a role foreign to women, is it? So there. [Laughs.] So there." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Joy Behar says she likes Fred Armisen's Saturday Night Live impression of her. "I think he's right on. I think he's got me down. He gets the fidgeting. I'm a constant fidgeter. It's probably why I don't weigh 200 pounds, because I keep working it off by moving constantly and fidgeting and fixing my hair. And this phrase, 'So what? Who cares?'  I realize that I say that a lot and that it's basically a philosophy of life." [The Star Tribune]
• Marilyn Manson has a new album, The High End of Low. He says: "Track two is called "Pretty as a Swastika." It's something I said to a girl because of her complexion - with black hair, red lips and pale skin. I mean, it was a complex and poetic comment that soon led to intercourse, so I felt no reason for it to be seen as confusing, hateful and destructive. The record label [told me], Take it off the album. Rather than do so, I decided to produce it on the inside of the sleeve with a different name, so it'll be sold in Wal-Mart or wherever stores sell guns but are afraid to deal with lyrics. So I put "Pretty as a ($)" because all of their motivations are based on money." [Time]

• Jesus Luz went on a Brazilian TV program, Fantastico, and said of Madonna: "She is my friend, only my friend." Hmm. Wow. Okay. He also said:

"Madonna is a person who I admire very much, a friend who has entered my life and [with whom] I keep in contact. I cannot say anything more than I don't have plans of marrying her. I can't say if she is the woman in my life." Dammit! Are they shagging or not? What does it mean? [Gatecrasher, The Sun]

• Lily Allen: Not impressed by Susan Boyle! "I thought her timing was off on Britain's Got Talent on Sunday  no control, and I don't think she has an amazing voice." And! "She seems like a lovely lady but if the show is about talent, then that Shaheen kid should win." [Daily Mail]
• Aww, Kiefer Sutherland and Proenza Schouler's Jack McCollough have kissed and made up! Well there was no kissing, but the two did issue a brief joint statement: "I am sorry about what happened that night and sincerely regret that Mr. McCollough was injured," Sutherland said. "I appreciate Mr. Sutherland's statement and wish him well," McCollough said. Then a unicorn jumped over a rainbow and gumdrops and structured dresses fell from the sky. [USA Today]
• Kiefer's headbutt incident caused some drama on the set of the film he's working on. [Daily Express]
• Guess who was out drinking Thursday night? Kiefer Sutherland. He had his 21-year-old daughter with him. [Page Six]
• Check out the toothless picture Demi Moore posted of herself  from the dentist's chair  on Twitter. Nice glasses. [Daily Mail]
• Charlotte Gainsbourg has won the best actress prize at the Cannes Film Festival for her role in Lars von Trier's Antichrist  in which she does unspeakable things to the genitalia of Willem Dafoe. Congrats! [AP]
• Tragic: Mike Tyson's 4-year-old daughter is on life support after she was found with her neck caught in the cord of a treadmill. [AP, NY Post, NY Daily News]
• Cate Blanchett spoke at the World Business Summit on Climate Change in Copenhagen yesterday, saying: "Australia's best climate scientists have been warning us that we'll face many more catastrophic fire days in south-east Australia unless the world acts to dramatically cut greenhouse pollution. We have the ability to kick start the low carbon economies of the future right when we need to, and that's now." [Breitbart]
• Natalie Cole has been released from the hospital five days after getting a kidney transplant. The memorial service for her sister, who died from lung cancer the same day Natalie received a kidney, was held yesterday. [People]
• We've heard this a zillion times, but now it's confirmed by his "people": Mel Gibson's girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, is pregnant. [People]
• "Actress and Scientologist Kirstie Alley is on a Twittering crusade against a bill that would provide money for screening, diagnosis and treatment of postpartum depression." Here are some of her Tweets:"I have to get you all info on THE MOTHER'S ACT. this is this lousy BILL that would give BIG BROTHER the right to force you to drug ur kids" And: "AND MANDATE that when you are pregnant, YOU MUST take drugs if a Dr. tells you to. THIS is BIG BROTHER at his finest. More on this soon moms." Plus: "I am organizing a MILLION MOM MARCH to protest this BILL. It just keeps rearing it's head. BACKED 100% by BIG PHARMA. MOMS UNITE!!" According to a spokesperson, the "Mother's Act," sponsored in the Senate by Sen. Bob Menendez, will not force "expectant mothers or new mothers to do anything." The spokesperson says: "Furthermore, the pharmaceutical industry has had nothing to do with this bill. We frankly have no idea where they get this stuff." [Politico]
• Lindsay Lohan will star in The Other Side, an indie comedy Katie Holmes was supposed to make. Apparently Katie was really into the script, sending notes and stuff, and then there was a scheduling conflict. This is the one with Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, Jason Lee, Alanis Morissette and Dave Matthews; Lindsay will play a grad student who goes to spend her summer doing research on a remote island, where she discovers a community of eccentrics who share a secret. [Yahoo via E!]
• While Monica Bellucci was at the closing ceremonies of the Cannes Film Festival, burglars stole about $112,000 worth of jewels, a laptop and such from her Paris apartment. It's so To Catch A Thief! [Reuters]
• Whoopi Goldberg cut her Las Vegas stand up show short on Friday night after a man in the audience had a seizure and collapsed. [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse's mom, Janis, says Amy drinks because she's bored. "Amy knows her drinking ruined the performance. Of course her band is frustrated, but even they can't stop her. It's just another one of Amy's addictions getting the better of her. It's yet another demon she has to beat. She came off drugs on her own so I know she'll stop drinking too much too. It has to be her decision though, no one else can stop her." [The Sun]
• Colin Farrell will be the best man when his gay brother Eamon Farrell marries his partner Steven later this year. [Daily Express]
• Shocker: Jon & Kate Plus 8 is staged, says Kate's sister-in-law Julie. She blogs: "When the show first started, Kate made a wish list of things that she wanted, and that became the theme of each episode - the carpet, twins' room, bunk beds, cow, hair plugs, teeth whitening, trips, etc. EVERYTHING that you see them do or buy is completely paid for out of the budget for the show or traded for free advertising … The episodes are also staged. Here's how it works ... there is a staff of people reading these blogs and they base the shows around what people are talking about." [MSNBC Scoop]
• The Real Housewives Of New York are getting a raise: Next season they'll get "upwards of $30,000 per episode." Raise your hand if you feel impoverished now. [NY Daily News]
• Lost's Evangeline Lilly says that producers "have seen that I haven't picked up on the opportunity to become a big movie star. It frustrates [them] that they've given me this chance to become the next Angelia Jolie" yet she hasn't gone after it. She adds: "Sure, I'd love to be her, but just the humanitarian side." [Page Six via Women's Health]
• Desperate Doused Wives? Teri Hatcher jumped into the pool fully clothed after performing with her charity group, "Band From TV," at Miami Beach's Shore Club. [Page Six]
• Mandy Moore loves watching the cagefighting mixed-martial arts of the UFC: "It's the best way for me to get out my aggression," she says. "The rush of adrenaline, being in an arena with 20,000 screaming people-it's overwhelming in the best way." [Maxim]
• Kevin Bacon's BlackBerry was stolen at a subway station in NYC on Thursday  and KB totally chased the guy! Unfortunately, he didn't catch him. [Daily Mail]
• Liz Taylor is in the hospital, but it's only a routine visit. Also: La Liz hearts Twitter. [MSNBC]
• "Brooke Shields: 'I was a virgin until the age of 22 because I didn't like the way I looked.'" [Daily Mail
• Rapper T.I. played a farewell concert to an arena packed with 16,000 fans Sunday night; he's due to report at the Federal Correction Institution at Forrest City, Arkansas by noon today. [USA Today]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Model Adriana Lima is reportedly three months pregnant; she eloped with NBA player Marko Jaric on Valentine's Day earlier this year. [Gatecrasher]
• Are you wondering if the Jonas Brothers are fizzling out as a Disney franchise? Here's a 1,114 word story that will sort of, but not really, answer that question. [NY Times]
• In this interview with Michael Bay, he divulges that the new Transformers movie takes up huge chunks of computer memory with its special effects. The first Transformers took up "an astounding 15 terabytes," and the sequel required 140 terabytes. "That breaks every record," says Bay. Also: Did you know he directed that old Aaron Burr "Got Milk" commercial? [LA Times]
• Phylicia Rashad, aka Claire Huxtable, is taking over as the mother in the Broadway play August Osage County. This article notes, "In a notable flourish of so-called nontraditional casting, Ms. Rashad inherits a white stage family of three daughters, a husband, a sister and other relatives." [NY Times]
• Are Kylie Minogue and her hot hottie gonna get married? [News.com.au]
• Not that you care but: "Peter Andre tells Katie Price it's 'too late' to reconcile, as he spends first day back with his kids." [Mirror]
• Morrissey has canceled more tour dates due to illness. [BBC News]
• For the last few weeks, there's been lots of buzz about the book Hollywood producer Jon Peters was going to write  with details about Barbra Streisand and so on  and now his book deal is off. Although he's still going to write a book. [Deadline Hollywood]
• "A Night Out With" Nia Vardalos includes Greek desserts, men yelling out blessings in Greek, and Rita Wilson dipping her tongue in a shot glass of Jägermeister, with Vardolos urging, "Do it, do it, do it." [NY Times]
• Sly Stone  previously reclusive  has been taking the stage lately, to support his 27-year-old daughter Novena Carmel, and her band, BabyStone. [CNN]
• Two Scottish cities are fighting over Groundskeeper Willie of The Simpsons. Is there nothing else to do? [The Sun]
• Grumpy Paul McCartney is reportedly "furious" about the switch to digital cable. "He doesn't think it's right that you have to either go to the trouble of getting an adapter or you have to buy a new TV, which he should do anyway," says a source. "You'd think he'd have an apartment full of flat screen TVs but really, he's got these old clunky sets in this tiny New York apartment." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Attention, Black Magic Women: Tomorrow, Carlos Santana will kick off a two-year residency at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas. [USA Today]
• RIP Jay Bennett, former member of the band Wilco. [E!]
• Tony Curtis called Joan Collins a "****" but it's tough to figure out what those stars stand for. [Daily Mail]
• Liberty DeVitto, who played with Billy Joel for 30 years, has sued the singer claiming he's owed overdue royalties. [UPI]
• Do you want to read a quote from Heather Mills' ex-fiancé, Chris Terrill, in which he compares her to a tornado? Then by all means, click the link. [Mirror]
• Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian made a whopping $70 million over the last four days; Terminator Salvation made about $65. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Phish tour: Sold out. Go find your tie-dye. [UPI]
• "Simple Minds return with a new album but the same defiant attitude." [Daily Express]
• Blind item! "What seemingly sweet small-screen starlet is actually so nasty that she won't speak to anyone on set until she 'has her face on?'" [Gatecrasher]
• "It was a divine beginning and it went on becoming more romantic. He took more attention than you can imagine to make sure you were sexually OK, with tiny wee cushions everywhere so one was comfortable. I never knew anyone who gave one such tiny, exquisite attentions. It was like having a wonderful parrot who bites everyone else but you. Everyone said: 'Oh Serge, he's so dangerous.' I said : 'Oh yes, he is,' but really, he was a pushover – very sentimental, very romantic."  Jane Birkin, on Serge Gainsbourg. [Guardian]
• "I don't take myself so seriously. All these people think I do. Look, a lot of people think it's fun to hate on Michael Bay. There's a lot of poison on the Internet. People always try to knock someone who's had a ton of success in movies. Whatever."  Michael Bay. [LA Times]
• "Becoming a mum was the single most profound, self-adjusting moment in my life. I birthed myself. It's like I took back my life. I took back the essence of who I am."  Thandie Newton, who struggled with bulimia before she got pregnant. [Times Of London]
• "Very swiftly we turned into two different people, and it's just hard. He's angry with me that he's home and I'm not. Yet he doesn't really feel great about me, so he wants me to travel. It is so involved I almost can't put it into words. I think the thing that makes me the maddest is: Jon made some mistakes and he was out and whatever, and that made people question him. I'm doing what I'm SUPPOSED to be doing. I'm working and traveling. [which led to reports that she was having an affair with her bodyguard]."  Kate Gosselin. [AP]
• "Since I've played for years, I get a little break. I think if I were doing rock music, there would be more doubt because there's such a great tradition of actors doing rock music so badly."  Steve Martin, on his banjo playing and bluegrass album. [NY Post]
• "I have never tap-danced in my life and I was kicked out of the choir in the fifth grade because I can't sing, but for this movie I had to tap-dance and sing in one scene… when I was supposed to be nine months pregnant. So I had tap shorts over fishnets around a fake pregnancy belly, and when I put my arms up to tap-dance in front of 300 people, my pants fell down. It was like embarrassment laid on top of embarrassment laid on top of embarrassment."  Sarah Chalke, on shooting the Lifetime movie Maneater. [NY Daily News]
• "For me, it's not a pastime, going out and meeting people and trying to hook up with people. That actually makes me feel disgusting. From a really early age, I was really sensitive to that. Getting your flirt on is the best thing in the world, but when it comes to sharing bodily fluids with a person I don't know  no thank you."  Katy Perry. [Gatecrasher]

[Image by Steven Klein via W Magazine.]

• Sad face: Mickey Rourke's 18-year-old chihuahua, Loki, has died. Rourke called Loki "the love of his life." And famously thanked his all his dogs in his Golden Globes speech. RIP little dude! [E!, TMZ]

• Sarah Jessica Parker's been talking about the Sex And The City sequel. She wants the new movie to be a "massive romp." And she's worried about the consumerism: "How do we address these economic times in a franchise that has a lot to do with luxury and labels? You know, there is a lot that we have to think about because times are very different." Indeed. [UPI]
• Lindsay Lohan was seen having a fabulous time in New York while Sam Ronson was in San Diego, what does it mean??!?! [Page Six]
• The lone Asian dude in Miley Cyrus's "goofy" photo has been identified; his name is Chuck Willis, and he is a model/actor/photographer. Who hangs out with Hannah Montana. [ONTD]
• The Guardian's Hadley Freeman spends five minutes with "the surprisingly tall" Justin Timberlake and promptly falls "a little bit in love." [Guardian]
• Oscar producers want M.I.A. to be on the show so badly  even though she just gave birth  that they're willing to let her perform her track from Slumdog Millionaire from a "large bed" on stage. Or she could appear via hologram. The bed idea sounds kind of awesome, but only if there are dancing orderlies. [NY Mag, MSNBC Scoop]
• More Oscar gossip: Hugh Jackman is hosting, but he'll be joined on stage by Beyoncé, Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens and Mamma Mia's Amanda Seyfried for a big song and dance number, directed by Moulin Rouge's Baz Luhrmann. If they do "Dancing Queen," it just might be the gayest thing on TV since Charles Nelson Riley. [Yahoo News via E!]
• John Mayer will be attending the Oscars, and says: "It's my first Oscars. And it's my first being an Oscar boyfriend. After that night I have a deal almost signed in blood that says I must go into the studio and finish this record. So after Oscar Sunday, Monday morning I'm invisible." [PopSugar]
• Bookies who deal with Oscar bets says Heath Ledger is "such an absolute certainty you've got to feel a bit sorry for the fellow nominees. They have no absolutely no chance whatsoever of winning." [Mirror]
• An L.A. Superior Court judge has ruled that Roman Polanski will have to come to the U.S. and face a judge before his 1977 child sex case can be dismissed. Of course, if Polanski arrives in the States, he faces immediate arrest, as he is a fugitive. [Variety]
• Hayden Panettiere, 19, fresh off of her breakup from Milo Ventimiglia, 31, was seen flirting with Gerard Butler, 39. Can you blame her? He's hot! [MSNBC Scoop]
• Seth Rogen will appear on the cover of Playboy, only the 9th time a dude's been on the cover in 56 years. But will he be clothed? [Page Six]
• Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen are engaged, by the by. [Page Six]
• Kanye West looks morose on the new cover of Details and inside says the kind of stuff you expect Kanyeezy to say. Like: "Put this in the magazine: There's nothing more to be said about music. I'm the fucking end-all, be-all of music." And! "People ask me a lot about my drive," he says. "I think it comes from, like, having a sexual addiction at a really young age. Look at the drive that people have to get sex-to dress like this and get a haircut and be in the club in the freezing cold at 3 a.m., the places they go to pick up a girl. If you can focus the energy into something valuable, put that into work ethic..." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Also, when Kanye was 12, he produced a video game: "My game was very sexual. The main character was, like, a giant penis. It was like Mario Brothers, but the ghosts were, like, vaginas. Mind you, I'm 12 years old, and this is stuff 30-year-olds are programming. You'd have to draw in and program every little step-it literally took me all night to do a step, 'cause the penis, y'know, had little feet and eyes." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Michael Phelps is so afraid of people snapping his picture, he's had the windows of his home tinted and he's been hiding out in strip clubs, where photographs are not allowed. No, really, that's the only reason. [Page Six]
• Has Kylie Minogue had cosmetic surgery? The latest edition of the UK's Grazia magazine asks on its cover: "What has Kylie done to her face?" A surgeon who does not treat her has the answer: "Kylie's brows look a little higher than usual, which suggests she's having regular Botox to lift them. One of Kylie's brows is slightly more arched and higher than the other, which is often a telltale sign." [News.com.au]
• Boo-hoo: Eva Longoria Parker is sad that Nicolette Sheridan is leaving Desperate Housewives. "I love her so much as a person, and I love the character of Edie Britt, that I can't imagine the show without her," Eva says. [Mirror]
• Here's a video of Benicio Del Toro talking about playing Che Guevara and doing some really good stuff with his expressive eyebrows. [Guardian]
• Kid Rock is making Kid Rock Beer, which is expected to create 394 new jobs in Michigan. Those without jobs will at least have something to drink? [Detroit Free Press]
• Ashton Kutcher is in negotiations to star in a flick called Traded, about a superstar NFL quarterback and a 12-year-old middle school geek who magically trade bodies. Sort of Freaky Friday Night Lights. [Variety]
• Bob Barker "relaxes in retirement with dog and bottle of tequila." He doesn't watch Price Is Right. [ABC News]
• Set your DVR; A&E has ordered 11 episodes of Hammertime, a show which tracks the life of MC Hammer and his family. Can't touch this? [Variety]
• Luther Campbell from 2 Live Crew was arrested for contempt of court last night; he owes $10,233.36 and he'd better pay up. [TMZ]
• Morrissey, who turns 50 in May, says of the chance that he'll still be in the music biz at age 55: "I think it's incredibly slim. For heaven's sake!" [Daily Express]
• Blind items! 1. Which movie producer is finding out bad habits die hard? Despite being married, he asked a gorgeous, dark-haired woman back to his hotel for a "late-night private audition" after a dinner at the Berlin Film Festival. As the actress accepted, look for her to appear in his upcoming pictures. 2. Which kooky fashion figure asked for illegal substances on her contract rider? She said in order for her to appear at a fashion show, she needs two bottles of Cristal and "cocaine - a lot of it." [Page Six]
• Blind item: "Which F-list celeb had an abortion six months ago? We hear she's still not sure who the father was." Wait, why do we care about this? [Gatecrasher]
• "God, I might pass out. Your heart pounds really hard, and just that moment…wow. My grandmother is coming. My mom and my grandmother. Three generations. "  Taraji P. Henson, on being a nominee at the Oscars. [Washington Post]
• "My mother, she was like, 'I don't know if Mama wants to come because she had a knee replacement surgery and she's been going to the doctor and it's a long evening.' I said: 'Mom, you know what? Why don't we just let Grandma make the decision? Let's call her and let her say no.' We called her on a three-way and I said, 'Hey, Grandma, we got an extra ticket for the Oscars, you wanna come?' 'I sure do, baby!' She did not hesitate, do you understand? Grandma is not going to miss it for the world, do you hear me? She didn't want to hear about how long it was going to be. She didn't want to hear about that, she'd moved on to what she was going to wear. She was like, 'Well, I have this outfit and these shoes.' I was like, 'Bring it, Grandma.'"  Taraji P. Henson. [WaPo]
• "It's just something for your eyes to look at. It's just a change from the norm, innit? The problem is, I never buy a piece of art. I don't see the point in buying something because I know my eyes will get bored of it eventually. You know, a lot of museums keep the stuff, they rotate it, because people get sick of looking at it. They shift the art around, don't they? People go, 'I'm sick of that now.' They move it around the world, let someone else's eyes look at it."  Ricky Gervais, on art. [Guardian]
• "I really believe I'm on the very tail end of television as a big money-making business. I think there will always be a certain number of people who make a lot of money, like American Idol or NFL football, but I just think that in 10 years when people have good Internet connections, there are going to be a thousand channels. People will be making money, they just won't be making a lot of money. Even successful shows or programming will bring in small amounts of money."  Jimmy Kimmel. [Broadcasting & Cable]
• "Oh my God, I'm one of the greatest rappers in the world. I'll get on a track and completely ee-nihilate that track, I'll eat it and rip it in half. I wouldn't have to think of it. […] I have, like, nuclear power, like a superhero, like Cyclops when he puts his glasses on."  Kanye West. [Yahoo News via E!]
• "The next chapter of your life has begun. The toughest decisions you will ever have to make lie in front of you. You have shifted the cultural paradigm of America, but now you have to live up to the ideal that fostered the shift and ensure that the paradigm doesn't shift back. You must deliver."  LL Cool J, in an (open, unsolicited) letter to Barack Obama. [Mirror]
• "I am her biggest fan and I can't get enough of her. But wearing my fashion hat, I want to say to Meryl Streep, 'You need to accept responsibility for what you are wearing. I don't know that you do.' The message she's sending is, 'I'm too smart for this and it doesn't matter to me what I'm wearing.' I want to say to her that it should matter to you."  Tim Gunn. [MSNBC Scoop]

• Chris Brown's father claims that his son is "very remorseful" about his actions: "He's very remorseful. He's very concerned about the situation and he wants to make sure that [Rihanna's] okay," says Clinton Brown. [People]

• "This is unfortunate, this stumble, this situation," Brown continues, "Hopefully, he will get past it. We all have our shortcomings. We all trip." [People]
• Did Rihanna wear a jewel-encrusted eye patch to last year's American Music Awards to hide injuries from Brown? Police are now investigating. Sigh. [TheSun]
• Kerry Washington has spoken up in support of Rihanna: "I don't know the details of their situation, but I do know this is an issue that can't go ignored," Washington says, "If we talk about violence against women, my hope is we don't talk about it as petty gossip but as a social illness that must end. So if that's what's going on, then we need to all be aware this is a problem that goes from the Congo to Hollywood and everywhere in between." [People]
• Zac Efron almost ditched acting for a college degree: "My life was set, I was going to go to college, I was going to try to do something great, like be a doctor," he said. "It didn't really work out. I decided after I had done High School Musical and after I had done a couple of films that I wanted to go to college to study films. I had friends in the program and they just raved about it. I was so jealous that they were there. After I was accepted to go, I was deferred for one year and since then, I haven't really had time to go back."[ShowbizSpy]
• Hugh Jackman is pulling for Heath Ledger at this year's Academy Awards: "I can't hide the fact that I would really love for that honor to be bestowed upon him," Jackman says, "It would be fitting and I think he deserves it." [People]
• Katy Perry was surprised to find herself on a best-dressed list for once, after her Grammy Dress received high praise: "Usually I'm worst dressed on the red carpet," Perry says of the dress, "That was actually a plan-B dress. I had a dress specially made but it just didn't work. My stylist managed to find somewhere that was open just before the ceremony and he managed to find that one. It was so lucky. That was just my moment where I could look grown up and pretty."[ShowbizSpy]
• Dreamy James Franco reportedly wore "a blond wig, gold sparkly bra and purple high-heeled pumps" to accept his Hasty Pudding award at Harvard University. "''I couldn't ask for anything more. I've made it,'' Franco said. [NYTimes]
• Sparkly vampire Robert Pattinson says he wishes he had more time to sign autographs for fans: "You have to rush through everything so much," he says. "I just feel terrible every single time because people have queued up since 4 o'clock in the morning for five seconds...and that's it. I feel quite bad half the time." That sound you just heard was 8 billion 12 year old squealing, "Awwww!" [ShowbizSpy]
• Contrary to earlier reports, Lindsay Lohan has not signed on for a remake of Nightmare on Elm Street. [JustJared]
• Meanwhile, Lindsay's mom, Dina, is in a bit of tax trouble, and owes roughly $12,000 in property taxes. "My ex is in arrears for child support, and I think it has come from that area," Dina says, "Somebody out there is trying to do something to sabotage me and my family."[PageSix]
• Brandon Flowers of The Killers says that fatherhood has changed his views on romance: "I know the right time to send flowers. Sometimes it's not on the calendar and it's not about Valentine's Day - it's knowing when to do it. Now of course a romantic evening is all about getting the baby to bed early. That's when the romance begins."[ContactMusic]
• Is Chace Crawford dating Matt Damon's little sister? [PageSix]
• "Eighty is just a number. A lot of people are old at 40.It's too late for vanity. If I was 30, maybe, I'd say, 'Hey, that's not a good angle.' But there is no good angle now. So you just kinda accept it and go ahead."-Clint Eastwood[Guardian]
• Mandy Moore is allegedly considering asking her ex, DJ AM, to DJ at her upcoming wedding to Ryan Adams.[DailyExpress]
• Peter Gabriel has pulled out of the Oscars after the show's producers cut his stage time down to a measly 65 seconds. Meanwhile, the "How the Oscars Are Made And Why They Are Awesome" montage that nobody cares about will still clock in at approximately 9 hours and 54 seconds. [Reuters]
• Olympic Swimmer Amanda Beard is engaged to photographer Sasha Brown: "We got engaged on Christmas day," Beard says, "It was really simple. We decided to do Christmas by ourselves in our house in Tuscon. He had a little Tiffany's box, and it was hidden in this Santa statue that we had  his little sack  and it was perfect." Related: I am 12, because I read "his little sack" and immediately started laughing. [USMagazine]
• Morrissey is totally bored with today's music scene. "I think everyone is quite boring in music. I can't see any voices who are taking the plunge and risking anything," he says, "They're padding down the plank and everyone's just lining up and accepting awards. It's very, very difficult for me and very distressing. I can't see anyone who's very individualistic." The singer then paused and added, "What difference does it make? I'm too tired. I'm so sick and tired. And I'm feeling very sick and ill today. But I'm still fond of Hortense, whoa-oh."[ShowbizSpy]

• Daniel Radcliffe tells Details magazine that he lost his virginity at 16 with an older woman! He says the age difference "wasn't ridiculous" but "would freak some people out." What age would freak you out? 21? 31? 41? [Daily Mail]
• Also from Details: "I think part of me would love to play a drag queen, just because it would be an excuse to wear loads of eye makeup."  Daniel Radcliffe. [MSNBC, UPI]
• Joe Francis has had a new assistant since his release from jail in March: She is Holly Montag, Heidi's older sister. Apparently she is running his life. Joe says: "Holly is fantastic, probably the best assistant I have ever had." The Montag family, so classy. [Page Six]
• Holy crap! OK! magazine has a double cover for the first time ever. Democratic on one side, Republican on the other. Obama and Palin are the new Britney and Lindsay. [MSNBC]
• Us Weekly has a Sarah Palin cover too. More on this in a verrrry interesting Midweek Madness. [Us]

• Two men from Malibu have been charged with misdemeanor counts of battery for attacking a paparazzo who was snapping pix of Matthew McConaughey surfing in the Pacific Ocean in June. Officials say the two dudes threw the photog in the water from where he was taking pictures on the beach. They each face up to six months in jail and a $2000 fine. [Reuters]
• Hilary Swank is set to "pack on the pounds" to play the lead in French Women Don't Get Fat, the adaptation of Mireille Guiliano's best-selling book, which Swank is also producing. Even though the book is um, nonfiction, a story is being crafted! Hilary will play the manager of a champagne company dealing with French ladies who eat bread, wine and pastries and never gain an ounce. Fun. Lemme guess: She learns to slow down and enjoy, thereby losing weight? [E!]
• Remember how Josh Brolin and Jeffrey Wright were arrested in Shreveport, Louisiana for allegedly keeping cops from breaking up a bar brawl? Seems like the whole thing is getting swept under the rug. The police department supposedly has tapes of the incident, but they have never been released. Could it be because cops maybe called Wright the N-word and he was hit with a taser? [Radar]
• A friend of Lily Allen's was abducted at gunpoint and held hostage for a week. He's been released and Lily has thanked the police: "We were all terrified and from what I hear you guys did an amazing job." [Daily Express]
• Scene: Lily Allen and Elton John on stage at the GQ Awards. Lily: "And now to the most important part of the night-" Elton: "What? Are you going to have another drink?" Lily: "Fuck off Elton. I am 40 years younger than you and have my whole life ahead of me!" Elton: "I could still snort you under the table." Lily: "Fuck off. I don't know what you are talking about." [The Sun]
• The new movie The Women might suck, despite its secret new age-y message. [Fox 411]
• Cameron Diaz and Paul Sculfor have been all over each other at the US Open. Is it Love? [The Sun]
• Oh, but when Cameron shops, Paul gets bored. [Page Six]
• Blistex polled 3,000 women and Keira Knightley was voted as having the "perfect pout." [The Sun]
• Tiffani Thiessen, who played Valerie on 90210, doesn't seem that into the new 90210. [E!]
• Jon Bon Jovi is teaming up with the State of New Jersey to build homes that will cater to homeless people with special needs, like AIDS patients. Oh, we're halfway there. Oh. Oh! Living on a prayer. [USA Today]
• Wow, haven't heard from this guy in a while: Howard K. Stern is suing the man who used to be Larry Birkhead's bodyguard. And! He also has a $60 million libel suit pending against the company (and woman) that published Blonde Ambition: The Untold Story Behind Anna Nicole Smith's Death. He's not happy about the gay allegations. [Yahoo News]
• Jessica Simpson almost quit singing but Dolly Parton helped her with letters of encouragement, aww. [Yahoo News]
• Some idiot paparazzi was harassing Chris Brown, asking him if he was going to sing with the Jonas Brothers; Chris responded, "No, I'm doing a duet with your mom." [TMZ]
• Heath Ledger's estate has sold his Hollywood Hills home, nicknamed The Treehouse, for $2.5 million. It is unknown if Michelle Williams and Matilda will get part of the money from the sale. [News.com.au]
• Does Hugh Grant have a new 27-year-old ladyfriend? He was seen hanging with former model Catherine Fulmer in The Hamptons recently. Catherine, by the by, was wearing a vest, shorts and no shirt: Toplessness! [The Sun]
• Morrissey has split with his management firm after just three months. Please please please: Let me get what I want this time. [Reuters]
• A poster for Angelina Jolie's film Wanted was banned in the UK because it "glamorizes gun crime" and is "likely to provoke violence." It's the one where she's lying on the hood of a car holding a shotgun. [The First Post]
• Blind item! "Which hip-hop mogul had a hidden video camera installed in a light fixture in his bedroom? He likes to record his sessions with unsuspecting ladies for future replays." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which closeted actor who once dated an actress 'beat the hell out of her,' according to her friend?" [Page Six]
• The Library Of Congress will honor Stevie Wonder with the Gershwin Prize for Popular Song. This is only the second time this prize has been awarded: The first was in 2007, to Paul Simon. The award recognizes a musician's lifetime of work and Wonder will receive it on Feb. 23, 2009. Love's In Need Of Love Today, you guys. [AP]
• Rock band Great White, whose pyrotechnics sparked a nightclub fire that killed 100 people in 2003, will play $1 million to survivors and victims' relatives. [Newser, via AP]
• Who is Philip Olivier? He used to be on Hollyoaks or something. It doesn't matter: He is smoking hot. Click here to see. [The Sun]
• "Am I gay? If you want to know the truth, ask the people who go to bed with me."  The late Dusty Springfield, in a 1999 interview. [Page Six]
• "I have auditory hallucinations, I hear voices saying derogatory things, like I'm terrible and I'm going to die, and they're usually worse in the afternoon"  Brian Wilson. [Page Six]
• "I had the hot iron in my hand and he had a handful of my hair. He grabbed the hand with the iron in it and was pushing [it] toward my face. He ended up pressing that hot iron against my other arm. I heard my flesh sizzling, and the smell was sickening. I started screaming from the pain. He dropped the iron and I turned to run, and his nail swiped across my eyeball and shredded my cornea."  Sandy (Pepa) Denton of Salt-n-Pepa, on her abusive boyfriend, a man she calls "Brad." She is celibate now. [Rush & Molloy]

• Madonna speaks! "My husband and I are not planning on getting a divorce. I know Alex Rodriguez through Guy Oseary, who manages both of us. I brought my kids to a Yankee game. I am not romantically involved in any way with Alex Rodriguez. I have nothing to do with the state of his marriage or what spiritual path he may choose to study." [People]
• And yet! Alex Rodriguez's wife has left him. A source says: "The embarrassment over Madonna was the last straw. She flew to Paris to get out of town before everything blew up between them. There is no affair with Lenny Kravitz. They are good friends." [People]
• This report says Guy Ritchie wants the marriage to work for Rocco's sake. Apparently he loves Rocco "the most." A source says: "He absolutely adores Lourdes and David and has always treated them as if they were his own. But Rocco is Guy's flesh and blood." [Sunday Mirrror]
• Madonna's brother's book says Madge kissed Gwyneth Paltrow on the lips at a Donatella Versace party, which, frankly, is not so shocking. [The Sun]
• Model Lily Cole and Jude Law: It's on. And she spent the night. [Mirror]
• By the by! Jude is 35 and Lily is 20. [ONTD]
• Christina Applegate's boyfriend, Lee Grivas, was found dead in his apartment last week. The 26-year-old had a history of drug abuse. [Fox News]

• Is Britney Spears "getting close to" Mel Gibson's son Edward? [Mirror]
• Britney and Madonna made a video that will be part of the backdrop during Madonna's Sticky and Sweet tour. And Brit MIGHT join Her Madgesty on stage! [The Sun]
• Diddy almost didn't make it into his own 4th of July party in East Hampton — the parking lot was too crowded. The humanity! [Page Six]
• Did Nicole Richie get kicked out of the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas for being rowdy? (Her rep says no. But something happened.) [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse performed in front of tens of thousands of people in Spain — with a glass of red wine in her hand. Cheers! [AP]
• Amy Winehouse hit (another) fan. This time a guy was trying to take her picture — but pinched her bottom. [The Sun]
• The picture of Blake Fielder-Civil doing heroin in his jail cell is like deja-vu all over again. [The Sun]
• Christie Brinkley on the chick who had an affair with her husband: "I feel bad for her and I forgive her completely." [People]
• The person she does not forgive is her husband, duh. His lawyer says, "I think it's pretty clear she's doing this out of revenge." [People]
• Kanye West is kind of pissed that when Harper's Bazaar came to his home, they assumed that the painting of a black angel on his ceiling is actually a painting of Kanye with wings. Says Kanye: "People think I'm so so so cocky that I would have something like that… Why didn't they write that my house had no pics of me, no plaques or awards, just art." A better question: Why assume that because the angel is black, it's Kanye? Does the mag think all angels are blonde, blue-eyed cherubs? [Kanye Universecity]
• Morrissey's cool, but it's kind of mean that he doesn't think Kylie Minogue deserves the Order of the British Empire she received recently. [Daily Express]
• Jim Carrey hit the beach in Malibu with Jenny McCarthy — wearing Jenny McCarthy's swimsuit. Which is supposedly hilarious. [The Sun]
• This George Clooney Martini ad is seven or eight different kinds of awesome. Shannyn Sossamon's cute; George is sofa king cool. [De Standaard]
• Another commercial to have a crush on: Tina Fey and Marty Scorsese for American Express. "I love those warm nuts." [Beam.TV]
• Nick Cannon says marriage to Mariah Carey is "the best thing that ever happened to me." No shit! [People]
• Sorry, but this trainwreck of an interview with Ranae Shrider, the lady on the Verne Troyer sex tape, is too awful not to share: "I'd lie on the bed and Verne would crawl up my legs to have sex with me," she says. "And as he did it his feet would be tickling my knees! It wasn't quite as passionate as sex with a normal-sized man but he did his best. He didn't wear a condom. There was no point, they're all too big. On the whole though, he wasn't short of sexy skills and tried his hardest to make up in technique what he lacked in size." [News Of The World]
• Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong went shopping with the kids — his and hers. Moving right along! [The Sun]
• Chloe Sevigny hearts Sonic Youth. [Page Six]
• Hot hottie David Annable of Brothers and Sisters says riding a motorcycle is like having sex: '"You can't be too aggressive but can't be overcautious." [Page Six]
• Snoop Dogg starring in a Bollywood music video makes perfect sense somehow. [Page Six]
• Usher's record sales are meh, so he might re-hire his mom as his manager. What will his wife say about that? [Rush & Molloy]
• Lynda Carter, aka Wonder Woman, says she used to be an alcoholic. "I needed help — I begged God in heaven to help me figure this out," she says. She's been sober for 10 years. [UPI]
• "I'm going to dedicate a song to my very, very, very, very, VERY pregnant wife!" —Keith Urban, before singing his hit, "Better Half." [People]
• Oh, apparently Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are planning a baptism ceremony in Sydney for their unborn child. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Jamie-Lynn Sigler will be on three episodes of Entourage, playing herself… and maybe a love interest for one of the boys. Wanna bet it's Drama or Turtle? [E!]
• The new 90210 will have a new Peach Pit, but maybe with the same old Nat inside. [Yahoo News]
• Bindi Irwin has her own doll, which comes with binoculars, a camera, a cockatoo, a wombat and a python. [AP]
• Susan Olsen, aka Cindy Brady, was so hungover on some radio show that she had to rush out and puke. There's video, sorta. [CNN]
• City leaders in Malibu are trying to restrict the paparazzi in the area — the number has tripled; they're tailing celebrities on highways and once councilman says it's a "chaotic situation that keeps on getting worse." [Reuters]
• Former Bachelor star Andrew Firestone married a Serbian model on Saturday. Try to seem interested. [US Magazine]
• For her new show, Kath & Kim, Selma Blair says: "I let myself go a little. I didn't get fat, because that would sound wrong. I'm never going to be a big girl — I'm just a little floppy. It's hard going to the gym. It hurts. And it hurts when you don't see results. There's mirrors all over the gym!" [LA Times]

• OMG Bobby Brown's autobiography is going to be sofa king awesome: "I never used cocaine until after I met Whitney. Before then, I had experimented with other drugs, but marijuana was my drug of choice. At one point in my life, I used drugs uncontrollably. I was using everything I could get my hands on, from cocaine to heroin, weed and cooked cocaine." [Page Six]
  
• Madonna donated 100 copes of Vanity Fair to the Kabbalah Centre. You know, the one with her on the cover. Soooo generous. [Page Six]
  
• Beyoncé and Jay-Z: Getting married this Friday??? [Perez Hilton]
  
• Jay-Z is on the verge of a $150 million deal with Live Nation  one of the biggest music contracts ever. Would getting married first mean Beyoncé could be all, what's yours is mine? [Reuters]
  
• Jessica Alba's unborn baby is a girl, and will be named Honor Warren. [Star]

• Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon: On vacay with the kids in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. Cute! [MSNBC]
• Ed Westwick, aka Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass, has been spotted drunk out on the town again. His publicist must be working overtime to get him in the papers, but he's so damn cute we're falling for it. [Page Six]
• Speaking of GG, Chace Crawford (aka Nate ) has had a rough few weeks after breaking up with Carrie Underwood and being accused of dating JC Chasez. But he's "doing okay," his sister, Miss Missouri, says. You can stop worrying. [People]
• Kevin Federline's lawyer says Britney's dad is doing a great job. There was a situation and that seems to be stabilized. Does that mean she's cured? Of course not." [People]
• Britney's manager, Larry Rudolph, says Britney will make the biggest comeback in history. [ONTD]
• Mariah Carey canceled interviews in London because she's "not a morning person." Viva la diva! [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse saw a gang of paparazzi camped out on her doorstep in the cold, so she made them tea and brought them cookies. Love. Her. [ Mirror]
• Jerry Seinfeld's brakes failed on Saturday night and his his vintage car flipped over as he was driving in the Hamptons. Jerry walked away unscathed. [People]
• Speaking of the Hamptons, longtime resident Billy Joel's wife, Katie Lee Joel, has a cookbook with a recipe for "Man Loaf" that "instantly makes any guy fall in love." As the kids say, vom. [Page Six]
• "Everybody thinks I'm in the loony bin, but I'm actually in rehab." Steve-O. [Page Six]
• Brad Pitt has dropped his publicist, Cindy Guagenti, who has repped him since Thelma & Louise. Could it be the influence of Angelina, who has never used a publicist? [Page Six]
• Brad Pitt (with local Springfield, MO businessmen and his brother Doug) has established a new fund to help Springfield public school students who are in poverty: The fund will address hunger, hygiene, and health needs. [KSMU]
• Will Lindsay Lohan's new album get released on time later this year? She's reportedly not being cooperative and canceled important meetings with producer Timbaland. Girl, check yourself before you wreck yourself. [Gatecrasher]
• Katie Couric plagiarized a poem when she was in grammar school and has kept it a secret for 45 years. What other skeletons does she have in her closet? [Gatecrasher]
• Yeah, yeah, Laguna Beach alum Jason Wahler is getting his own VH1 reality show, we know. And we're not looking forward to it. [Gatecrasher]
• Is Brody Jenner involved in that show? Or getting his own? [People]
• Blind item! "Which TV starlet could be the next to have embarrassing naked pix revealed? The racy snaps are a souvenir from her on-again, off-again hookups with a co-star." [Gatecrasher]
• Teri Hatcher will sing on American Idol Gives Back. Consider yourself warned. [Rush & Molloy]
• Kirsten Dunst is redoing the $3 million penthouse in Tribeca, NYC, she bought to live in now hat she's completed six weeks of rehab. Nothing gets booze off your mind like a pricey renovation project! [Rush & Molloy]
• Did UCLA Medical Center employees spy on Farrah Fawcett's files like they did on Britney's? [TMZ]
• Heather Mills was spotted at the airport wearing a black wig as a disguise. WTF. [The Sun]
• The Lord Chief Justice has said people who represent themselves in court  like Heather Mills  just waste the court's time. [Telegraph]
• The mayor of the town in Chile where Daniel Craig is shooting the new Bond movie is leading a protest against the film. The mayor claims that when he drove his car onto the set, Daniel Craig "fled in terror." Bond would never flee! [Daily Mail]
• Kanye West's new travel site is just a "shoddily assembled web 0.5 front-end to house the Travelocity website." [AdAge]
• Elvis Costello hosting a talk show for Sundance Channel? Sounds good. [Reuters]
• Stop me if you think you've heard this one before: Morrissey has won an apology in court from the publishers of Word Magazine, which called him a racist and a hypocrite. [Reuters]
• A judge has dismissed a defamation lawsuit by a businessman chased down the street by Sacha Baron Cohen in the Borat movie. Go away! [USA Today]
• Francis Ford Coppola's new movie is getting a "sex change": Carmen Maura is replacing Javier Bardem in the role of mentor and teacher. [Yahoo News]
• The family of R&B singer Sean Levert wants the FBI too look into his death  he died Sunday night after being strapped into a restraint chair in jail. [Yahoo News]
• Steve Irwin's father has quit working at the Australia Zoo because he was becoming a "disrupting influence." [Sydney Morning Herald]
• See, there's this pesky tax investigation going on involving the Irwins and the Zoo. [News.com.au]
• The Irwins and the Zoo got scammed. [News.com.au]
• "I think legal prostitution is the way to go, given the awful, horrendous traffic in women and the danger of girls being out on the street, so vulnerable to pimps and johns. In a legal brothel, they're licensed, they're protected, and the johns are protected because they know the girls have to be medically checked every week" - Helen Mirren. [Page Six]

• America's best-monikered First Lady, Lady Bird Johnson, died this afternoon at the age of 94. She was one of the first people (sorry, Al!) to bring environmentalism center-stage. [CBS News]
  
• Queen Elizabeth got huffy with photographer Annie Leibowitz. [USAToday]
  
• UN Secretary General offers up the following deep thought: "New thinking" is needed to deal with our current climate change problems. What, is the UN now the NY Times 'Sunday Styles' section of world events? Picking up on "trends" a good three seasons after their debut?! [BBC]
  
• Shy guys: Not only are the less likely to make the first move, but they're more likely to die of a heart attack. Which leads us to the natural, however seemingly absurd, conclusion that the chances of a guy having a heart attack when you put the moves on him pretty damn high. [Daily News UK]

• The latest in Spice Girls Mania: Redux: A BBC documentary on the group is planned for the fall. Meaning that Victoria Beckham now feels a little better about the downsizing of her NBC special on herself? [BBC]
• When will J.Lo learn? Movies featuring herself and her lover du jour = really bad idea. [TMZ]
• The photographer who grabbed at Heather Mills to snap a pic of her in July of last year was found guilty of assault. Mills offered some statement about blah blah blah justice being served. But we want to know what Paul McCartney has to say! [BBC]
• Uh oh Moz! Compaing Madonna's adopted (African) son to a wild animal is no way to make a point about why you shouldn't wear fur! Suddenly, we wonder if PETA is somehow behind Morrissey's recent slew of concert cancelings. Well, PETA or the NAACP. [Best Week Ever]
• Growing up, whenever we would start complaining about something, our aunt would ask us if we were in SIberia (like our relatives had been, in work camps, during WWII). The answer was always no. But we wish we had been! Then we could have been the ones to discover the baby mammoth!!! [CNN]
• We hope to see something on TheKnot.com tomorrow on what the etiquette is when one of your guests arrives a year early for your wedding. [CNN]
• It appears that someone other than us is bitter that kids are off for the summer while we have to work. [Slate]
• Memo to our high school stoner friends: New information about Jim Morrison's death! (Spoiler: Heroin, not a hot bath) [USA Today]
• Evil Knievel and Kanye West are going to try to hug it out. [USA Today]
• A dog named Max, saved by a little backdoor entry! [CBS]
• 2 U.S. casualties identified. [DoD]