Actual:

7:10 Wake up on small Ikea couch (again) with achy back and GMA blaring on tv. Listen to alarm go off in other room and try to ignore it. Begin daydreaming about being in a relationship and having a man to snuggle with or make me some coffee.

8:00-8:30ish Actually get up, pee, shower, pull on clothes that I hopefully haven't already worn this week, watch news/Oprah. Walk/jog 7 minutes to local hospital, shoving a banana down my throat, to catch shuttle to other hospital where I work. Half the time, I miss the shuttle and end up riding the city bus, with no seat, juggling my bag and my coffee and the newspaper while packed in like a sardine.

Arrive in my lab between 9:30 and 10:30, depending on how long I daydreamed.

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Actual: Wake up at 7 a.m., turn off alarm, wake up again at 7:25 and swear loudly, check e-mail and Facebook until 7:40, finish with shower by 7:55, shove food in pockets and books in backpack, brush teeth WHILE tying shoes/pulling on boots, run out the door to meet walking buddy by 8:05.

The Actual would probably be okay for most people, but I'm usually physically incapable of moving quickly in the morning.

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Actual: Up at 5:30 with dog. Take her out and feed her, lay down on couch for another half hour.

6:00-make coffee, plan route for day with mapquest and dazzling array of paper maps. Start taking calls from boss, who is in the hospital. The route planning is a scream because she is a 'visual, landmark sort of person' which means no one's address is written down. So we put it together somehow, as though we are both speaking different languages, which we are, we have a laugh about it, and the day really starts.

7:30 shower, debate whether to bother drying hair because the dogs I walk don't care who well-coiffed I am.

8:30: out the door.

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actual -

5:45-alarm first goes off due to delusion that setting it ahead of time will encourage early waking up

7:45-enough snoozes, wake up in a panic

7:55-drag self out of bed, look hopelessly at closet

8:10-pick yesterday's dress and last week's sweater off floor. Sniff and go.

8:15-bathroom time. Stare with horror at head, realize growing out a short haircut has resulted in electrocution-like hairdo. Douse with water, hairdryer out.

8:30-concede defeat, makeup

8:45-realize let dog out in freezing weather and forgot, run out barefoot to get her

9:00-drive to station, go to uni, start countdown of days left until semester break

.........

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Actual: Get up around 11. Stay in bed with heating pad on because I'm cold. Read news and blogs, check e-mail and Facebook. Eat several bowls of cereal. Putz around the apartment. Shower, dress (jeans and a sweater) around 2:30. Arrive at work at 4 p.m.

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4:30am - wakes up and goes to the gym

5:30am - listens to sports radio, watches the news

6:30am - showers, dresses, eats breakfast

7:00am - out the door and off to work

5:15pm - comes home

6:15pm - eats dinner, watches some TV

7:15pm - falls asleep in his chair

8:30pm - sleepwalks to bed and passes out

My schedule involves waking up around 7am and going to bed around 11:30pm, sometimes later. I am a total night person. Hate waking up in the morning. It's the worst.

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On the other hand I am so addicted to it that I have to set my alarm(s) half an hour or more earlier than I actually want to get up. Not ideal.

Ideal:

6:30 am: Alarm goes off

6:30 am: Get immediately out of bed when alarm goes off

6:30-6:45: Shower

6:45-7:10: Leisurely coffee and breakfast

7:10-7:30: Put on clothes picked out the night before, fix hair, put lunch also made the night before into bag, leave house promptly

7:30-8: Invigorating walk to work

8 am: Arrive at work exactly on time

Actual:

6 am: Alarm (clock-radio) goes off

6:10 am: Backup alarm (cellphone) goes off

6:10-6:45: Repeatedly hit snooze on both alarms. Sometimes let radio one play so I can hear what's up on WTOP.

6:45-7:05: Finally get up, shower

7:05-7:25: Coffee and breakfast, waste time online, panic and realize I'm still not dressed and am supposed to be out the door in five minutes

7:25-7:40: Dig outfit out from under pile of clothes on floor, leave house with wet hair and no lunch

7:40-8:13: Wait for bus because it's too late to walk, sit on bus in traffic, realize bus doesn't save me any time, race into office two minutes before morning meeting

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Actual:

Wake up at 7:15, wash face, pull hair in ponytail, dress up in fabulous attire consisting of jeans, Chucks and something on top, feed cats, leave before Austin traffic gets me in worse mood.

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This is my routine from when I was still working:

Ideal: Wake up at 7 pm after 1 alarm. Shower and eat breakfast. Read. Go to work at 8:45.

Actual: Wake up at 9 or 9:30 (!!!) after 3 alarms. Put hair in a bun, wash face and brush hair. Get a ride from my guy roommate and walk into work looking all gross like I'm doing the walk of shame.

But now I'm at my parents' house and my routine is to have my mom (who is a nanny), wake me up with the baby she takes care of (who is so cute!). Then I sit around in my pajamas and read Jezebel until 2:30 and then take a shower. Being unemployed = lame-o.

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Reality: Alarm goes off at 5:30, I hit snooze approximately 9 times, or until 6:30. Get up, eat cereal, and slouch back into the bedroom to snuggle with boyfriend until 7. Finally hit shower around 7:15, almost fall back asleep under warm water, and finish up around 7:35. Fumble through closet screaming at my inadequate wardrobe until 7:50, finally pull neutral skirt x with brighter top y out of desperation. Swipe on minimum amount of makeup, pull wet hair back into twist, and do my best to run to work in heels.

And I'm a morning person.

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Real: Woken up by husband's alarm at 5. Woken up by husband letting dog out at 6. Between 6 and 6:45, woken up repeatedly by dog hurling herself against my bedroom door. Woken up at 6:45 by husband saying goodbye. Get up at 7. Spend next two hours trying to eat and shower while making sure dog doesn't pee inside or eat the furniture.

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Ideal: Up at 5:30, 30 minute run while watching CNN. Put kettle on, shower, dress in chic yoga pants and t-shirt, have tea and half a bagel. Check email, wires, Facebook. Catch boyfriend between classes with his time difference. (Alternate: Go to work.) Head to class, bag magically feather-light. Home, catch up on assignments immediately. West Wing marathons all night, salad and panini.

Actual: Up at 7 (body clock does this, not I). Pry laptop open, turn on CNN. Check email, facebook, wires. Up, pee, back to bed. Sit around reading and catching up. Shower, dress, eventually. Stand around waiting for kettle to boil, wishing I'd started it ten minutes earlier. School. Bag forcing a limp due to weight. Home. Email, Jezebel, Facebook. Sweats on, drink tea continually between 3-6 PM. Realize I never had lunch. Or breakfast. More tea. CNN on mute. Eat utter crap because I'm too lazy. Fight with parents over politics. Go days without speaking to boyfriend.

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