• The Australian Bureau of Statistics has reported that more babies were born in that country 2008 than ever before. They also found that the trend of mothers giving birth later in life "seems to have stalled," and that there were slightly more newborn boys (51%) than girls. •  A 28-year-old German man has been found guilty of stabbing a pregnant Egyptian woman during a court hearing in Dresden. Al-Sherbini was going to testify against Alexander Wiens, who allegedly harassed her at work with taunts of "terrorist" and "Islamist" when Wiens attacked her in the courtroom. Wiens has been sentenced to life in prison. • Jewish activists are anticipating Obama's announcement of a special envoy to monitor anti-Semitism. Rumor has it that the candidate is female, with Chicago connections. • A Hungarian man convicted of using a camera to peep up women's skirts has been banned from filming in public for the next two years. Apparently, the women who he filmed were unaware and have not been informed of the violation. • Jaycee Dugard's family has brought in a publicist to help "clean up" the mess made by several greedy middlemen. Unfortunately, the family is still in looking for donations to help pay for everything from medical bills to food. •  A recent spate of suicides among housekeepers working in Lebanon has lead to a campaign for better conditions for the often overworked immigrant women. A recent survey found that more than one migrant domestic worker was dying in Lebanon each week, usually from either suicide or falling off a balcony in attempts to get away from an abusive employer. •  For the first time ever, the Mormon church has announced support for gay rights legislation in Salt Lake City. Although the Church is still against gay marriage, officials have come out in support of legislation that would prohibit discrimination against gays in housing and employment. • Cynthia Stewart, a 17-year-old junior at Tharptown High School in Alabama, is on her school's prom planning committee and personally raised $200 for the event. But when Stewart asked her principal if she could bring her girlfriend to the prom he said no and told her to take off a sticker that read "I am a lesbian," because, "You don't have that much freedom of speech at school." Her family appealed the decision to the school board, but it upheld the principal's decision. • The Tate Gallery has announced the appointment of Penelope Curtis as the new director for the museum in London. Other good news for women in art comes from Venice, where the Japanese architect Kazuyo Sejima has been named director of the Venice Architecture Biennale. • Scottish widow Mona Webster, who died in August at the age of 96, loved opera and birds so she left most of her $16.6 million fortune to New York's Metropolitan Opera and the British charity Windfowl and Wetlands Trust. • Brits are some of the ugliest people in the world, according to the dating site BeautifulPeople.com. The site lets existing members rate applicants' attractiveness to decide if they should be let on the site and only one in 8 British men and three in 30 British women have been accepted. Swedish men have the most success, with 65 percent accepted, and Norwegian women were voted the most beautiful with 76 percent accepted. • People are criticizing Pittsburgh's recently unveiled Mister Rogers statue because they say the 11-foot tall, 7,000 pound statue looks nothing like him. Jimmy Kimmel said it makes "the nicest man in the world look like a mud monster." •

Hardy started his Mormon beefcake calendar, he says, to challenge people's assumptions about Mormons and show they are capable both of sex appeal and laughing at themselves. He scoured MySpace and hit Mormon dances and even church parking lots to find his models, and eventually, word got out and the guys started coming to him. Not shockingly, the Mormon Church didn't find the calendar, which featured shirtless Mormon hunks posed against backgrounds that suggested the sites of their respective "missions," that hilarious. Not only was Hardy excommunicated, but he was denied a diploma from Brigham Young University, which requires grads to meet ecclesiastical, as well as academic, standards.

The timing was unfortunate: the calendar's 2007 release coincided with the federal raids on the Texan fundamentalist communes, as well as lurid portrayals in Carolyn Jessup's memoir Escape and on Big Love. The way the LDS saw it, the calendar was just another means of sensationalizing and campifying the church at a time when they just wanted to keep a low profile. Far from backing down, Hardy's upped the ante. Not only is he launching the yummy mummy version - or, as he refers to them, "Mormon muffin" pinups, which BYU deemed "contrary to the value of living a chaste and virtuous life" - but the men's calendar this time takes on actual tenets of the faith. Take this description of a recent photo shoot from the Los Angeles Times:

A male model wearing a kilt of black vinyl strips, a red belt with a gold buckle and little else is flexing his muscles amid fake oil derricks and Roman columns in a photo studio. All chiseled pectorals and tanned thighs, he is playing Captain Moroni, a battlefield hero in the Book of Mormon who rallied troops with the Title of Liberty banner.

Oh, and the cover model? Dressed in a loincloth, he represents the second coming of Christ.

Hardy is suing the church and the university, and his punishment has gotten him a lot of publicity. "Though we understand not everyone agrees with the project," Hardy replied, "the individual expressions of those involved have reshaped perceptions, removed walls, and shown . . . . acceptance and tolerance around the world." He talks a big game about wanting to challenge stereotypes, but at this point, now that he's not longer affiliated with the LDS and his calendars have become more explicitly provocative, we have to wonder: what did he think was going to happen, especially as familiar as he was with the strictures of the church? BYU is an explicitly religious university, and, however harsh the punishment, it seems they were technically within their rights to deny someone a diploma who'd failed to meet their imposed - if somewhat arbitrary - standards. And he's clearly well aware of the camp value of what he's doing. As he puts it, "You know why people love this calendar? You go from dorky church boy to hunk."

The fact that, as his "Mormons Exposed" website explicitly points out, Mormons abstain from premarital sex only adds to the "forbidden fruit" allure. The website's merch - which includes images of praying figures titled "Missionary Position" - further undermines the message of pure altruism. Obviously, Hardy is playing both sides of the coin. We understand Hardy's original goal, believe the calendar was started in fun, and that, given the response it generated, there is a real wish amongst certain Mormons to "normalize" their image in the wake of recent events (Chet, anyone?) But it's also arguable that reducing the church to pure camp - a line it already walks with a lot of the secular population - isn't the way to do it. And, it seems pretty inarguable, after his recent experiences, Hardy's motives are a bit more worldly, and a lot more complex. And we ask that Chet not be involved in any future calendars.

Mormons Exposed [Official Site]
Church Has A Beef With Mormon Beefcake Calendar [LA Times]
Mormon Beefcake [Newsweek]
Shirtless Calendar Costs Creator His BYU Degree [Deseret News]

As bitchy and scheming as Nicki can be in her suburban life with Bill, Barb, and Margie, it's hard not to sympathize with her character when thinking about her in the context of the compound, brainwashing, Joy Book, and forced, underage marriage.

FLDS women are raised to be mothers and wives and nothing more. They are often denied any education beyond eighth grade, robbed of choices regarding their own lives, and conditioned to think that men should do all the thinking for them.

Seeing her daughter — whom she was forced to abandon in order to get away from her ex-husband — have an active interest in things that girls on the compound aren't supposed to (desire to go to school, playing in the dirt, etc.), Nicki knew Cara Lynn was destined for a life that lacked personal fulfillment.

Some of Cara Lynn's behavior, at first glance, seemed a bit "off," like when she spoke with enthusiasm about killing and dissecting a frog and lying to her stepmother in order to get more dessert. But Nicki recognized those actions as survival techniques in an environment in which girls' best interests are not looked out for, and ambitions are squashed. It makes Nicki's own deviant behavior suddenly make so much more sense.

Before I get started, I'd just like to say that I personally believe that all organized religions are weird, including the one I was raised in, which told me that I had to eat a piece of someone's body and drink his blood once a week, and fess up to all the bad things I'd done and thought to a man hidden in a little cubby hole. Rituals always appear odd to those who haven't grown up with them.

But that's also because rituals are often odd, especially when they're shrouded in secrecy. So when we got to see the Freemason-esque LDS Endowment ceremony, the secret handshakes, the costumes, the props, and the Celestial room, it was a bit jarring. Perhaps it's because Mormonism is a fairly young religion founded by pioneers — who, in fact, were Freemasons at one point — this makes their practices seem bizarre to outsiders. And that's may be why Mormons guard them so carefully.

Church members aren't even supposed to discuss the ordinances of the Endowment outside of the temple, and until as recently as 1990, part of the ceremony included a "blood oath," in which members promised that they understood that they'd be disemboweled or have their throats slashed if they revealed any of the secrets of the ceremony. That's why some LDS members are upset with the Big Love episode, and why Barb's mother was so reticent to "monkey around" with Mormon procedure by allowing her polygamous daughter to access the temple through her recommendation.

The LDS takes the Endowment very seriously because it reveals to members key words and tokens they need to pass by angels guarding the way to heaven. Barb was facing a disciplinary hearing and excommunication for being involved in plural marriage. Excommunication to Mormons means much more than being banned from the church on earth. It means they're banned from entering the Celestial Kingdom after death, and cast into the "outer darkness" for all eternity. Fearing this, Barb had to beg her mother and sister to give her a temple recommend in order to receive her Endowment, as an of-chance way to gain entrance into heaven.

In the end, Barb was excommunicated from the LDS because of her plural marriage, but more importantly, because of her knowledge of the LDS's purchase of an official letter that stated that the church never intended to outlaw polygamy, and the LDS's intention of hiding the letter from the public. This storyline makes the church look incredibly corrupt; I wonder if they're as pissed off about that as they are about the depiction of the Endowment ceremony.

During her hearing, the church officials asked her if she was wearing her "temple garments," which are special underwear to be worn under the clothes.

According to Wikipedia, FLDS members wear something similar under their clothes, but a little more modest and more like the original garments that the founding members of the church wore. These garments, among other things, make me wonder if FLDS members aren't as different from some mainstream Mormons as LDS members would have us believe. They just fly their freak flags more publicly.

It's great that the show is going deeper into Albie's homosexuality, which his own mother — who we learned probably put a hit out on him — says is a choice. Interestingly, whenever any of the polygamists on the show talk about their religion and/or relationships, they refer to them as "destiny," which really illustrates how arbitrary and retarded their beliefs are. Clip above.

The Department of Family and Protective Services in Texas reports that 12 girls between the ages 12 to 15 were sexually abused "with the knowledge of their parents" and spiritually "married" to older men within the Mormon breakaway group. Of the girls, 7 of them had one or more children:

The report, an unusual step taken to help satisfy expected questions from the state Legislature when it convenes in January, summarized individual investigations and the history of the case. The findings, though shared with law enforcement, are separate from the ongoing criminal cases.

The individual investigations, which covered 146 families, concluded that 91 families had children who were abused or neglected. Crimmins said that conclusion confirmed what investigators initially suspected — that girls were being forced into underage marriages and other children were exposed to that harm.

The case "is about sexual abuse of girls and children who were taught that underage marriages are a way of life," the agency said in its report. "It is about parents who condoned illegal underage marriages and adults who failed to protect young girls — it has never been about religion."

Authorities say that an additional 262 children were listed as neglected because their parents failed to remove their children from a situation where the child would be exposed to sexual abuse.

Meanwhile, FLDS spokesman Willie Jessop said that the the department has made "many allegations that it's never been able to back up" and that the department "needs to learn how to say we're sorry instead of trying to justify their actions."

So far a dozen FLDS men, including the sect's prophet—Warren Jeffs— face charges of sexual abuse and bigamy based on evidence gathered from the ranch. The agency has also identified 124 "perpetrators" who were either parents who arranged illegal child marriages or men who married a young child.

Abuse, Neglect At Polygamist Ranch [MSNBC]

Earlier: Authorities Take 400 More Kids From Polygamist Sect In Texas
Polygamist Sect Raided On Charges Of Abuse Of Girls

• A small study suggests that sperm quality may be affected by close proximity to cell phones. • Marilyn Fithian, the founder of the Center for Martial and Sexual Studies, passed away on September 11th due to complications of pneumonia. She was 87. • Uh, why was Mick Jagger invited to an EU panel on simplifying internet shopping rules? • Dozens of Canadian students with facial piercings staged a walkout at St. Mary's Catholic high school in Ontario after the school issued a ban on all facial piercings except "unobtrusive ear piercing." • Children in the UK are wary of "playground myths" about sex (ex: you can reuse a condom if you wash it) and want to talk more openly with their parents about sex but most parents are embarrassed to discuss such matters with their children. • A study of bisexual people in Canada revealed that many are frustrated when interacting with the health care system for mental health issues because therapists and treatments are often sided to either gay or straight problems. • According to official figures there are no men under the age of 25 that are working in state-run nurseries anywhere in England. • Pig diving: Human-inflicted swine-cruelty or adorable pig-related activities? •

Of course, it's easy for me to read into their faces and project my own preconceived notions of the sect onto their unlined brows. Maybe they look weary because they're new moms, or because of the stress of the government raid on their ranch, or perhaps they've been bickering with their six sister-wives about who takes care of the babies. As the woman who wrote the accompanying article to these photographs, Sara Corbett notes, "We may never know much about the individual circumstances of the young women in these pages or, most important, whether the relationships that carried some of them into motherhood were forced upon them. The women Sinclair met offered no information about the nature of their marriages or who the fathers of their children are."

Corbett also touches on the curious irony implicit in the attention paid to the FLDS women. "What’s interesting is that in a case that is, at heart, about doctrinaire male authority, and supposed abuse committed by men, it’s the women of the F.L.D.S. who have largely had to assume a public mantle these past months, making court appearances, trying to defend both their faith and their lifestyle in the face of deep skepticism," Corbett writes.

Though I think there's an easy explanation to why the country's fascination is fixed solely on the FLDS women. There is a simple reason the FLDS men perpetuate a system that rewards them, honors them, imbues them with power. Why the FLDS women continue on is much harder to reconcile with modern societal expectations. In that sense, these photos are Arbusean after all: they make the viewer deeply uncomfortable, and they make us reevaluate our social contexts.

Young Women Of The FLDS [NYT]
Children Of God [NYT]

Jeffs closed businesses and nickel-and-dimed members so severely they actually ended up buying most things with big Tupperware containers of nickels and dimes, and eventually funneled millions into the Texas ranch that got raided earlier this year. When he was finally caught the place was impoverished and in shambles and now Wisan has to try to preach the gospel of personal property and the free market. A story that may shake your faith in Marxism, folks!

Satan's Accountant [Portfolio]
Related: FLDS Elder Decries "Terrorist Acts" In Letter To Bush [CNN]
Earlier: Please Do Not Cry For Those Poor Polygamist Wives, Fox News

MOE: Okay, can I just say...these guys have been the subject of a fucking John Krakauer book, their fugitive leader was on the FBI's 10 Most Wanted List as of a year ago...how...just how is it that 412 girls are being rescued only now?
MEGAN: Well, I watched the presser two days ago and the prosecutor was like: we needed evidence, and we needed probable cause. We didn't have those things without a witness and we can't just harass people because of their religious beliefs and I was kinda of like, go Texas. Only then, you know, 412 girls. Civil liberties aren't always black and white.

MOE: Hm, okay, that sounds to me like some bullshit. If this shit were happening in Philadelphia the police woulda just gone and firebombed their asses. But seriously, being a church affords you certain protections from like, forensic accounting investigation, right? From the sounds of this Texas Monthly story about the construction of the Eldorado ranch — related question: where'd they put all those girls while they were constructing the thing? Tents? — these guys had to be committing some sort of basic financial fraud that might granted them a few search warrants. Is the FLDS actually recognized by the IRS as a church? Shouldn't it be a cult? Isn't polygamy banned...uh...everywhere in this country? So many questions
MOE:

What's more, said Jessop, Jeffs has taught his followers to "bleed the beast": to take advantage of any government assistance they can get, from food stamps and public welfare to medical care. Some reporters who follow FLDS activities say that tens of millions of dollars a year in welfare and other government funds go to the Colorado City-Hildale community. The very same thing was no doubt about to happen in Eldorado, Jessop said.

MEGAN: Well, only without the Man-Boy love aspect of NAMBLA. It's MANGLA
MEGAN: er, NAMGLA, but the other way is funnier.
MEGAN: Also, this part made me cross my legs in horror:

In fact, said an Arizona county official who came with Jessop to the press conference, the sole responsibility of females in the FLDS is to submit to their husbands and give birth to babies "until their insides drop out."

At city hall, Mankin ran across a compound resident named Ernie Jessop, who was trying to find out some information about water rights. "You know, things would be a lot better around here if you had a spokesman to speak to our community instead of acting so secretive," Mankin told him.
"Sir, we don't talk to outsiders," Jessop said. "That's the way my grandfather was, the way my father was, the way I was raised, and the way I will raise my children. It's a tradition. We congregate to ourselves."

MEGAN: That's been in some of the news reports. They expel some of the younger men so that the old ones can marry their classmates. Grody. Also, one would think, unsustainable in the long term.
MEGAN: And I'm sure Jeffs is segregated from the general population.
MEGAN: Or in a mental facility.
MOE: Here's a story about Krakauer trying to find Warren Jeffs in 2005.

"Krakauer is actively investigating a lot of things, including the whereabouts of Warren Jeffs," said Paul Murphy, spokesman for Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff.

"Boys are fined and harassed by the police, who are sworn to uphold the law but serve as minions of Warren Jeffs," Krakauer said. "Hundreds of these boys over the past four years have been cast out. Most of them end up on the streets of (Las) Vegas or St. George," where they turn to drugs or prostitution.

MEGAN: Yeah, there was this story last year in the New York Times. They're some fucked up kids.
MEGAN:

The problem of surplus males worsened in the 1990s when the late prophet Rulon Jeffs, Warren Jeffs's father, took on dozens of young wives — picking the prettiest, most talented girls, said DeLoy Bateman, a high school teacher who watched it happen. Warren Jeffs, taking the mantle after his father's death in 2002, adopted most of his father's wives and married others, and also began assigning more wives to his trusted church leaders, former members say. Forced departures increased.

MEGAN: Yeah, despite Big Love, people find polygamists creepy. Who'd'a thunk?
MOE: Well, apparently they didn't always find them as creepy. Check this 2002 story.It uncovered an internal Arizona AG memo detailing the accusations against the FLDS but not advocating...criminal prosecutions?

Colorado City was once called Short Creek. It became infamous in 1953 after Governor Howard Pyle ordered state police to arrest and jail all married men on charges of bigamy, adultery and rape. Pyle also ordered the National Guard to round up all the women and children and bring them to Phoenix, where they were held as wards of the state for two years.
Pyle's action proved disastrous to his political future. Photographs of police pulling babies from their fathers' arms inflamed public opposition to the raid. Prosecutors were unable to secure significant convictions because it was difficult to prove bigamy since most of the marriages were not legally recorded.
"You get killed quicker in government doing your duty than turning your back," Pyle was quoted as saying at the time, according to a March 4, 2001, article in the Denver Post.
Pyle was defeated in the next election.

The hands-off policy continued during former attorney general and governor Bruce Babbitt's era. In a 1986 Associated Press article, Babbitt defended the residents as hardworking, God-fearing people and said he did not want to delve into personal lives.

Mohave County Supervisor Buster Johnson says Napolitano told the group that her office was continuing to investigate activities in Colorado City.
"They don't have enough documentation to charge anybody with any crimes," Johnson says he was told by Napolitano.
Johnson says he's been investigating allegations of child abuse, sex crimes and welfare fraud in Colorado City since becoming a supervisor six years ago. The former Los Angeles County sheriff's deputy says he's interviewed more than 30 former church members who have fled Colorado City.
Johnson says he has been told of repeated instances of underage girls being forced into marriage, child abuse, child labor law violations, welfare fraud, rapes, assaults and mental cruelty. Young boys are also abused, he says. Boys who are deemed to be unruly and who will not follow church doctrine are dumped onto the streets of Salt Lake City to fend for themselves, he says.

MOE: Where does the natural foods diet come from?
MOE: Whoa, check this out from a Dallas Observer piece:

"They are not a threat to your children; they are a threat to their own children," she said of the polygamists, mentioning in passing child abuse, forced marriage of teenage girls, child labor, welfare fraud, tax fraud and other horrors. "They have a commune in Canada. They use it to mix up the blood. Birth defects are starting to become noticeable. If a young girl starts to get rebellious, wants to get out, they'll send her to a foreign country."

Pam Anderson not convinced her marriage to Kid Rock was such a great idea. Captain Obvious nods his head sagely.

Anorexic may have bought bulimic's dress.

Paris Hilton may breed. Humanity is doomed.

Hollywood women sometimes don't shave their armpits. But you can bet your Brazilian there's not a single pubic hair between them.

A 13-year-old girl is charged with child sex abuse after getting knocked up by her 12-year-old boyfriend. He's charged with the same offence, against her. Only in Utah, folks! Of course if he'd been 58 and she'd been his niece and they were polygamists, everything would be just peachy.